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Seungmin was undeniably exhausted. He was sitting in the practice room his shirt sticking uncomfortably to his skin in a way that made him want to tear it off.
The last notes of the song tapered off giving a few seconds of blessed silence that the pounding behind his closed eyes appreciated, before another song started up.
With a shake of his head, Seungmin got into position and began the all too familiar steps once again.
The ache in his bones and the heaviness of his eyes was almost enough to make him quit for the night until he remembered the disappointed look Minho had given him two weeks ago when he kept fumbling up the moves and tripping over his own feet.
He didn't take it personally, knowing that Minho would never actually judge someone for messing up. It was the stress that hung over all their heads with comeback right around the corner.
Seungmin knew he wasn't there for visuals, and any of the member's voices easily outshined his, so he had to find a way to at least be useful. He would practice till his voice became scratchy and would dance till he collapsed.
He had to, for them.
The singer was unaware of how late it had gotten, the fact that his legs gave out under him and he fell to the ground on his knees, gave him an idea of him having been here for at least three to four hours longer than his other members.
Seungmin felt the emotions he had been pushing down for so long start to rise in his chest and create a lump in his throat, his eyes now burning with unshed tears.
He pictured all of his too-perfect boyfriends, their beautiful smiles, their flawless dancing, and their angelic voices.
God, why couldn't he just be like them?
The music still blared throughout the room and Seungmin lay down on his side covering his ears with his hands in an attempt to block out the stabbing piercing in his head.
Sobs made a way out of his chest and wracked through his body and he had just wished that Chan was there, to hold him close to his chest and whisper reassurances into his ear while placing barely there kisses onto his hair.
Or Minho, who would make him food and sit him in his lap making sure he ate each bite the older fed him while calling him his good puppy, ignoring how Seungmin would blush profusely at the nickname.
Or Changbin and Hyunjin, who would wrap him in blankets and lay on either side of him and trace fingers on his skin until he fell asleep in their embrace.
Or play video games with Han, Felix, and Jeongin, and fail miserably but only caring to see them laugh.
Lying on the practice room floor he wished for nothing more than his boyfriends to just cradle him close and reassure him he wasn't as much of a fuck up as he thought.
Chan had been home since nine pm, telling his members who were worried about his health that he would make a conscientious effort to come home earlier and not work as hard. He had done a great job so far, making sure to make time for his boys, and time for himself doing his best to not worry about his work.
Chan, Felix, and, Jeongin had decided to spend their night playing video games until it was past three in the morning and they all made their way to bed.
Chan went to each room checking on each of his members to make sure they were all asleep.
All seemed well until he came to Hyunjin and Seungmin's room, he knew Hyunjin was with Changbin, all curled up together, but yet here Seungmin's bed was empty, and made.
Chan frowned, before searching the rest of the dorm, and then the other member's room's once more because he knew how the puppy-like boy would often like to go curl up with Minho.
Coming up empty handed Chan retrieved his phone and called Seungmin. He waited on the line until he was met with no answer. Chan ran a hand through his hair worry setting in.
With a guilty mind, he went to the second oldest member of the group, figuring if anyone knew where Seungmin was, it was the dancer.
Chan gently put a hand on Minho's shoulder and shook it, whispering "Hey Minho, wake up baby." Minho was always someone who would wake up aggressively, on the verge of swinging.
This time was no different.
Chan grabbed Minho's hand and put a finger over his lips when the younger realized who had woken him up. Chan gestured with his head for the other to follow him out of the room to not wake Jisung and Felix who were curled up on Felix's bed.
Once out in the living room, Minho was rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Hyung please tell me why you woke me up in the dead of night becau-" Chan cut the other off before he could say more. "Seungmin is missing." In an instant, Minho had looked alert all traces of sleep evaded.
"What?" Chan looked panicked now, he had been hoping that Minho was going to call him an idiot and tell him that Seungmin was just sleeping with one of the others. But no that wasn’t the case.
"He's not with any of the other boys, and his bed is empty." Minho seemed in thought before Chan cut off his next statement. "He's not answering his phone either."
Minho's face lit up before concern etched over it. "Last I talked to him this afternoon, he told me he was going to stay and practice the choreography once more before coming back to the dorm."
Just as the words left Minho's mouth Chan was already moving towards the door grabbing his coat and slipping on his shoes. He opened the door and turned to close it to see Minho having followed him out.
Chan sighed. "Minho, I've got this, he probably just fell asleep there. Go back inside and go get some sleep."
Minho scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, let me just go to sleep knowing one of my boyfriends is missing and the other one is out searching for him at three in the morning." Minho fixed him with a look daring him to challenge him.
"Yeah, alright let's go." Chan turned around and together they made the ten-minute journey to the company building.
When they got to the company building, Chan and Minho started heading straight for the practice rooms. The halls were dimly lit, with only a few stray lights that shone out. The air was thick with tension and anxiety as they drew close to the practice room where Seungmin had been the last time any of them had seen him.
Chan’s heart beat faster with each step, his mind playing devil’s advocate and envisioning worst-case scenarios. What If Seungmin had been injured, and couldn't get help? What if he had lost consciousness? The thoughts were like teeth sinking into him forcing him to move faster.
While Minho seemed disturbingly calm on the surface, Chan was able to pick up the tension in his bearing. He sensed Minho’s thinly veiled anger and melancholy.
Right before they got to the practice room, Chan's hand slightly shook as he grabbed the door handle. With a deep breath, he pushed it open and was hit by how bone-chillingly cold it was in there, like walking into a freezer. The lights blared much brighter than they were in the hallway and in the middle of the light wood floor was a curled-up ball of dark clothing.
It took a second for it to click in Chan's head that it was their Seungmin and before he had a chance to move Minho was rushing across the space to get to him.
As Minho reached Seungmin's side, Chan followed closely behind, his heart pounding in his chest. The sight of Seungmin curled up on the floor sent a pang of worry through Chan's chest, his mind racing with concern.
"Seungmin!" Minho's voice was urgent as he knelt beside him, gently putting his hand on the boy's shoulder in an attempt to wake him.
Chan knelt down on the other side of Seungmin and gently stroked his hair away from his face.
"Hey Minnie baby, we need you to wake up now. "
Seungmin's first sensation he roused to was fingers running through his hair. Oh so gently.
There was a hand on his shoulder gripping in a comforting way more than aggressive.
Then came the pain, the throbbing behind his eyes that made them sting with tears, and the soreness throughout his body.
He shifted and the hand in his hair stopped moving, holding back a whine Seungmin fluttered open his eyes. Sitting over him were Chan and Minho's worried gazes, eyebrows furrowed.
"Seungmin, what happened?" Minho was the first to speak, and he could hear the concern in his voice.
Shit he wasn't supposed to worry them, he was supposed to be perfect for them yet here he was with them fretting over him again.
The lump in his throat made it hard to swallow and the tears burning in his eyes made it hard to blink knowing they would fall when he did.
"I-" A sob tore its way out of his throat regardless of how hard he tried to work around it, and instantly he was being pulled into a strong chest.
"Oh sweetheart, it's okay. We're here, we're not going anywhere." Chan had his head placed on top of the younger's hair as Seungmin cried into his sweater.
Minho rubbed soothing circles on his back, his own heart aching with concern for his boyfriend. Seeing Seungmin in such distress tore at Minho's soul, igniting a fierce protective instinct within him.
As Seungmin's tears began to subside, Chan gently lifted his head, his thumb brushing away the remaining tears from Seungmin's cheeks. "What happened, Seungmin? Why were you here alone?" Chan's voice was filled with concern, his eyes searching Seungmin's for answers.
Seungmin took a shaky breath before speaking. "I-I'm trying to be better. My dancing isn't as good as you guys, and I see how Minho looks at me when we practice." Seungmin looked down at his hands his voice getting much smaller. "I just wanna be good, and make you guys proud."
Before Chan had a chance to speak Minho piped up. "Seungminnie any looks you have received from me are looks of concern, not because you've messed up, but because you haven't been taking care of yourself as you should."
The singer had a hard time looking into his Hyung's eyes, but a gentle hand lifting his chin made him look into Minho's eyes leaving him no room to refuse.
"You're always so perfect sweetheart, your dancing is always so flawless even when you're too tired to put in all your effort. Your vocals are always beautiful, giving it your all every day making everyone so proud of you." Minho's gentle words made the tears start streaming back down his face and Chan began pressing gentle loving kisses on Seungmin's neck making him become boneless in his hold.
Chan's breath was soft on Seungmin's ear as he whispered, "Always so perfect baby. You make us all so happy, and proud. Love getting to hold and kiss my sweet Minnie."
It felt as though every emotion caught up to him all at once as Seungmin's eyes felt so heavy, fluttering shut as he laid his head back onto Chan's shoulder.
There was a soft voice in his ear that left a soft brush of wind on the shell of it. "That's it, angel, sleep. We'll get you home." Seungmin was pretty sure it was Chan who spoke in his ear, but he was too tired to really figure it out.
After a minute there was shuffling as Minho stood and walked across the room calling their manager to come pick them up. Seungmin wasn't asleep yet, but he wanted to let the hands of sleep drag him away, in the comforting embrace of his Hyung.
More shifting and Seungmin was picked up and carried outside where the breeze hit his face, making him shift his head into Chan's neck. He heard a cooe from above him and yet he ignored them.
He doesn't remember falling asleep, but Seungmin woke to himself being laid in his bed, someone pulling off his sweaty t-shirt and sweats and replacing them with a sweatshirt that smelled a lot like Hyunjin.
Then there were no hands on him and Seungmin whined, opening his eyes to see Minho about to leave and Chan standing behind Minho.
"Please." His voice sounded so small and raw with emotion, something he would be embarrassed about later on.
Chan and Minho were quick to reassure him. "No sweetheart we're not leaving you." Minho nodded in agreement with his Hyung.
"I'm just going to the bathroom, and Hyung is going to change. We'll be so quick Minnie I promise." Seungmin fought the frustrating tears that threatened to spill and nodded to show he understood. And with that, they both left the room.
Seungmin truly didn't know why he was so emotional, it was so dumb to be almost crying over the fact that his members left the room. But after so long of hiding how he felt and his thoughts from them, the idea of them leaving him alone left a hole in his chest he couldn't seem to fill.
Minho came back into the room and walked to where the younger was sitting up and sat down next to him. Seungmin tried to hide the fact that he was crying…again…, but it seemed to have failed. With a catch of the moonlight shedding onto his face the tears were reflected and Minho sighed.
"Oh Minnie, you're just a little ball of emotions tonight huh baby?" Seungmin nodded his head let himself be pulled into the dancer's chest and lay down on the soft bed. The older traced absentminded patterns onto the singer's back and noted that his cries had turned into sniffles and breathing almost evened out. It wasn’t long before Chan came back into the room with some water that he set on the bedside table, and climbed onto the other side of the younger.
He knew that as much as their second youngest pretended to not like skin ship, he actually was a cuddler and adored being the little spoon. Though he would deny it.
Curled up in the arms of his Hyung's he fell asleep feeling loved and warm. He knew that they would have to talk about everything in the morning but tonight he would let himself have this.
He knew if he had his family, he would be alright.