Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

            (Y/N) limped out of the house they’d been raised in. Their own blood stained their stomach and hands as they tried to hold their wound closed, mixing with the blood that was not their own.

            (Y/N) didn’t care. The ordeal was finished. They were finished. There was nothing left for them, and they’d done everything they’d wanted to—needed to.

            (Y/N) stood at the edge of the patio and stared out over the garden they’d grown up in. Apple trees lined the edges of the yard. Flower bushes grew around the patio. It was all so perfect.

            They despised it.

            (Y/N) took a step forward and held onto the railing as they stepped down off the patio. They could do it. They could make it out of the garden.

            Just once. Just once.

            (Y/N)’s strength failed, and they stumbled.

            Come on, just once.

            Another step, and (Y/N) collapsed. They fell back into the rosebushes decorating the yard. They couldn’t even muster the strength to cry out at the pain of thorns pricking every inch of their skin.

            (Y/N) lay among the briars and petals, staring up at the bright sun above them as their vision turned black.

            They were dying.

            And they had never made it to freedom.

            What a fucking joke.

Chapter Text

            (Y/N)’s eyes opened. The sun was gone. A red sky loomed over them. The rosebush they had died in had disappeared, replaced by cold cement.

            (Y/N) sat up and looked around themself. All they could see were buildings, a city made of red brick and strange billboards for drugs and sex and other things that (Y/N) was pretty damn sure didn’t exist back where they’d been alive.

            It didn’t take a genius to know where they were: Hell.

            (Y/N) had died and fallen to hell. Very well. Standing, they straightened their shoulders. They’d killed people. They’d very much earned a place in Hell, even if (Y/N) felt that they’d done it to protect themself.

            That being said, (Y/N) couldn’t just stand there. They had died at seventeen and were new in Hell. They weren’t sure what Hell was like, but it did put (Y/N) in a position to get hurt in some way.

            (Y/N) walked out of the alley and looked around themself. They were in front of a store selling TVs that were playing some sort of news channel. Before (Y/N)’s attention went to the show, their eyes landed on their reflection in the glass.

            They no longer looked human. Their skin had greyed from their formal tone. Green tinged their hands. Instead of hair, roses of their past hair color mixed with red covered their head like intricate curls. In place of the bloody clothes they had died in, they wore a red shirt with black overalls stitched with scarlet roses.

            (Y/N) disliked the irony—they died in a rosebush, and now their entire appearance was reminiscent of the briars.

            They looked away from their appearance and to the TV show playing. A girl with blond hair and white skin was…singing? (Y/N) cocked their head and watched as she sang about a “Happy Hotel” to hopefully redeem sinners to get them into Heaven.

            Now, (Y/N) wasn’t convinced that people could be redeemed—if they could, then (Y/N) wouldn’t be in the Hell. They wouldn’t have needed to kill to try to save themself. Still, the bubbly blonde seemed like a safer bet than wandering around Hell on their own, so (Y/N) looked at the address and squared their shoulders.

            They could do this. They survived their life. They would survive their death.

l

            (Y/N) stood in front of the two main doors and looked up at the towering hotel. It looked like it was going to fall apart at any moment, but (Y/N) wasn’t going to give up the possibility to having a safe(?) place to stay just by being judgmental.

            They knocked on the door, and instantly, it was flung open.

            “Hello?” said the excitable, cheery voice from the TV show.

            “Uh, hi,” said (Y/N). “Is this the Happy Hotel?”

            “It is!” The blond grinned happily. “Are you looking to stay here?”

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N), nodding.

            “Oh my god! Welcome! I’m Charlie, and I run this hotel to redeem sinners!” said Charlie. She pulled (Y/N) inside. “That’s Vaggie, my girlfriend and the best helper ever—” she gestured to a grey-skinned woman with white hair over one eye with an “X” “And that’s Angel, our only other guest.” A tall man with spiderlike qualities waved with one of four arms. “What’s your name?”

            “I’m (Y/N),” said the teenager, glancing at them a bit nervously.

            “Don’t tell me you’re comin’ to stay here willingly,” said Angel.

            “I don’t want to take my chances out there,” said (Y/N), gesturing back to Hell.

            Vaggie frowned. “Are you…new to Hell?”

            (Y/N) nodded. “I arrived earlier today.”

            Charlie’s eyes widened. “Oh, wow, and you already came to be redeemed?”

            (Y/N) shrugged.

            Charlie deflated. “Oh…”

            “It’s nothing personal. But I killed a couple people. I don’t really know if that can be redeemed,” said (Y/N).

            “You killed people? How old are you?” said Vaggie, furrowing her brow.

            “Seventeen,” said (Y/N).

            “Holy shit. Impressive, kid,” said Angel.

            “Oookay,” said Charlie, laughing nervously. “But you’re here now! Do you want to be redeemed?”

            (Y/N) considered. “Do I have to feel sorry for what I did?”

            “No way,” said Angel.

            “Well, it kind of goes along with the whole redemption thing,” said Charlie.

            (Y/N) frowned.

            “We’ll work on it,” said Charlie, smiling weakly. “At least we have a new guest!”

            “That’s your biggest success today, toots!” said Angel.

            “Thanks for the reminder, Angel,” snapped Vaggie.

            Another knock sounded at the door. Charlie perked up.

            “Another person!” she cheered, running to the door. She opened it.

            “Hell—”

            She shut the door. She processed who she’d seen. She opened it again.

            “—O.”

            Charlie shut the door. “Hey, Vaggie.”

            “What?” said Vaggie.

            “The Radio Demon is at the door,” said Charlie.

            “The what now?” said (Y/N), frowning.

            “What?!” cried Vaggie.

            “Who?” asked Angel.

            “What should I do?” asked Charlie nervously.

            “Well, don’t let him in,” said Vaggie.

            Charlie made the incredibly astute decision to open the door again. (Y/N) peeked around the corner and saw a tall, deerlike man standing in old-timey clothes with a giant grin.

            “May I speak now?” said the “Radio Demon.”

            “You may,” said Charlie, attempting to sound regal.

            “Alastor!” greeted the Radio Demon, putting out his hand to shake Charlie’s. “A pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart, quite a pleasure.” He brushed past her inside. “Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on the picture show, and I just couldn’t resist! What a performance! Why I haven’t been that entertained since the Stock Market Crash of 1929.” He laughed. “So many orphans.”

            Vaggie jumped in front of him before he could go any farther and pointed a spear at him. “Hold it right there!” She cursed in Spanish and glared. “I know your game, and I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone here you pompous, cheesy, talk-show shitlord!”

            Alastor laughed and pushed her spear down. “Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here…” His grin froze, and his eyes turned to red dials. An ominous glow surrounded him. “I would have done so already.”

            Everyone stared at him.

            Alastor shook his head and smiled. “No, I’m here because I want to help!”

            “Say what now?” said Charlie.

            (Y/N) had to agree that sounded very doubtful after that display.

            “Help!” repeated Alastor. He chuckled and tapped his cane-microphone. “Hello? Is this thing on? Testing, testing.”

            “Well, I heard you loud and clear!” said the microphone.

            “Uhm, you want to…help?” said Charlie, attempting a smile. “With…?”

            Alastor disappeared into shadows and popped up next to Vaggie and Charlie, putting an arm around both of them. “This ridiculous thing you’re trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it!”

            “Uhhhhh why?” asked Charlie.

            “Why does anyone do anything?” said Alastor brightly. “Sheer, absolute boredom! I’ve lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking…focus…anguish! I’ve come to crave a new form of entertainment!”

            “Does…getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment?” said Charlie.

            I’d say it does, thought (Y/N).

            Alastor laughed. “It’s the purest kind, my dear. Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage, and the stage is a world of entertainment.”

            “So…does this mean that you think it’s possible to rehabilitate a demon?” said Charlie hopefully.

            Alastor laughed. “Of course not. That’s wacky nonsense! Redemption? Oh, the nonexistent humanity! No, no, no, no, I don’t think there’s anything left that could save such lonesome sinners.” He looked at Vaggie, Angel, and (Y/N). “The chance given was the life they lived before. The punishment is this! There is no undoing what is done.”

            “So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t believe in my cause?” asked Charlie.

            Alastor grinned. “Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the Earth struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly fail and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure.”

            Charlie stared. “Riiiight.”

            “Yes, indeedy. I see big things coming your way, and who better to help you than I!” Alastor continued talking to Charlie as they went out of sight.

            “Who was that?” asked (Y/N).

            “Yeah, what’s the deal with Smiles?” asked Angel.

            “You, I get, but seriously, you’ve never heard of him?” said Vaggie, looking at (Y/N) and then Angel. “The Radio Demon? One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?”

            “Not big on politics,” said Angel, shrugging.

            “Ugh.” Vaggie sighed and finally gave them their explanation. “Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell. Seemingly overnight, he began to topple Overlords that had been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him the Radio Demon, as lazy as that is. Many have speculated: what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient, indestructible evils? But one thing’s for sure…he’s an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery and violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can’t risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!”

            “Ya done?” said Angel. He laughed. “He just looks like a Strawberry Pimp.”

            “I wish I had that sort of power,” said (Y/N), staring wide-eyed at Alastor. Then no one would try to hurt them.

            “I don’t trust him,” hissed Vaggie.

            “Well, to be fair, do you trust any man?” said Angel with a smirk. “Any men? Men?”

            Vaggie glared before getting up to talk to her girlfriend. “Charlie, listen to me. You can’t believe this creep. He isn’t just a happy face. He’s a dealmaker. He’s pure evil. He can’t be redeemed. And he’s most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we’re trying to do.”

            “I…We don’t know that,” said Charlie. “Look, I know he’s bad, and he probably doesn’t wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance, to have faith that things will be better. How can I turn someone away? I can’t. It goes against everything I’m trying to do, everything I believe in. Just…trust me. I can take care of myself.”

            “Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him,” said Vaggie.

            (Y/N) made a mental note of that.

            “I’ve picked up one thing from my dad! ‘You don’t take shit from other demons,’ ” said Charlie.

            “Who’s her dad?” asked (Y/N).

            “Lucifer, King of Hell,” said Angel matter-of-factly.

            “Oh, wow,” said (Y/N), blinking.

            “Okay, so, Al…” Charlie smiled awkwardly and approached Alastor. “You’re sketchy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m doing here as a joke. But I don’t. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better, so I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no…trickster…voodoo strings attached.”

            Alastor swung his cane around. “So, it’s a deal, then?” He extended a hand, and a sickly green glow emanated from it.

            “Nope!” Charlie, smartly, pushed it back, and the light stopped. “No shaking! No deals. I…As Princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order you that you help with this hotel for as long as you desire. Sound fair?”

            Alastor considered. “Fair enough!”

            Charlie let out a breath of relief. “Cool beans.”

            Alastor looked around the hotel and grinned at Vaggie. “Smile, my dear! You know you’re never fully dressed without one!” He looked at Charlie. “So where is your hotel staff?”

            “Uh, well…” Charlie coughed and looked at Vaggie.

            “Ohohoho, you’re going to need more than that,” said Alastor. He went to the two guests, smiling first at Angel. “And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?”

            “I can suck your dick!” Angel grinned.

            Alastor’s grin froze, and the sound of a broken microphone screeched across the air for a second. He recovered instantly. “Ha! No!”

            “Your loss,” said Angel.

            “And you, little sprout? What can you do?” said Alastor.

            “No idea, I’m new,” said (Y/N). But I want to do whatever you can do.

            “Well, this just won’t do!” said Alastor. “I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up.” He snapped his fingers, and the fireplace flared to life to reveal a small body within. Alastor picked them up, and a single eye opened before the soot shook off a small woman with a 50s poodle skirt and bug-qualities. “This little darling is Niffty!”

            “Hi, I’m Niffty!” she said brightly. “It’s nice to meet you! It’s been a while since I’ve made new friends! Why are you all women? Are there any men here?! I’m sorry, that’s rude! Man, this place is filthy! It really needs a lady’s touch, which is weird because you’re all ladies, no offense. Oh my gosh, this is awful!” She immediately skittered around the room and pulled down cobwebs. “No, no, no!”

            “Ha! Read ‘em and weep boys!” A new voice appeared, and Alastor grinned as everyone looked over to see half a bar planted into the side of the foyer. “The hell? The fuck is this?” The cat-owl demon growled as he saw Alastor. “You.”

            “Ah, Husker, my good friend, glad you could make it!” said Alastor.

            “Don’t you Husker me, you son of a bitch,” snapped Husker. “I was about to win the whole damn pot!”

            “Good to see you, too,” said Alastor.

            “The hell do you want with me this time?” said Husker.

            “My friend, I’m doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services,” chirped Alastor. “I hope that’s okay.”

            “Are you shitting me?!” demanded Husker.

            “Hm? No, I don’t think so!” said Alastor.

            “You thought it would be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of fucking clown?!” spat Husker.

            “Maybe!” said Alastor.

            “I ain’t doing no charity job,” said Husker.

            “Well, I figured you’d be the perfect piece to man the front desk of this fine establishment!” Alastor gestured to the bar counter as the “front desk.” “With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you!” He strolled over to the bar. “Don’t worry my friend, I can make it more welcoming!” He waved his hand. “If you wish.” A bottle of booze appeared.

            “What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!” said Husker. He looked at Alastor. “Well, you can!” He took a long drink.

            “Hey, hey, heyheyhey,” said Vaggie. “No, no bar! No alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of meth, brothel, mancave!”

            “Shut up!” Angel tackled her. “Shut up! We are keeping this!” Three of his four hands pointed to Husker. He slid up to the bar. “Hey!”

            “Go fuck yourself,” said Husker.

            “Only if you watch me,” flirted Angel.

            “I never got a chance to try alcohol,” said (Y/N), considering the bar.

            “Absolutely not,” said Vaggie, and (Y/N)’s roses wilted.

            “Oh my gosh!” Charlie ran up to Husker. “Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You’re going to love it here!”

            “I lost the ability to love years ago,” said Husker.

            “So, what do you think?” said Alastor, grinning.

            “This is amazing!” said Charlie.

            “It’s…okay,” said Vaggie.

            “I like it!” said (Y/N). “Most fun I saw even during my life!”

            “This is going to be very entertaining!” said Alastor, drawing them and Charlie into a hug. Then, music began, and a top hat appeared on his head.

(Alastor) “You have a dream,
You wish to tell!”

            Alastor began to sing, and Charlie and (Y/N)’s outfits became 1920s-themed.

(Alastor) “And it’s just laughable!”
“But hey kid, what the hell?”

            He tossed Charlie up and began to dance alongside her.

(Alastor) “’Cause you’re one of a kind,
A charming demon belle,
Now let’s give these burning fools,
A place to dwell!”

            He snapped his fingers, and everyone else got their themed outfits. Shadow demons popped up and began playing swing music. (Y/N) began tapping their feet and spun alongside the demons, even if the others weren’t dancing along. They had never gotten this sort of fun or energy when they were alive, so why not enjoy themself now?

(Alastor) “Inside of every demon is a lost cause!
But we’ll dress them up for now with just a smile!”
(Shadows) “Wicked smile!”
(Alastor) “And we’ll chlorinate this cesspool,
With some old redemption flair,
And show these simpletons,
Some proper class and style!”
(Shadows) “Class and style!”

            Alastor spun Charlie around, and she grinned excitedly despite his rude lyrics.

(Alastor) “Oh, here below the ground,
I’m sure your plan is sound,
They’ll spend a little time at the Hazbin Ho—”

            Boom!

            His singing was cut off as the wall behind him exploded, and the debris slammed into Niffty, sending her flying.

            Everyone’s outfits returned, and they all peeked outside. A giant flying machine of black and yellow was floating above them, and a window in it opened to reveal a snake demon.

            “Well, well, well!” he said. “Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!”

            “Do I know you?” asked Alastor, grinning.

            The snake’s smile dropped, but (Y/N) and Angel snickered.

            “Oh, yes you do!” declared the snake, retreating to drive his machine. “And this time, I have the element of surprise!” A giant gun moved into position and ignited. “Ahaha! I’m so evil!”

            Alastor snapped his fingers, and a giant portal of shadows appeared beneath the machine. They grabbed the gun and tossed it out of existence before piercing the ship itself. Shadows took over the entire ship while Alastor grinned and runes appeared around him. He closed his fist, and the shadows condensed. They smashed the ship, and he was left with an evil grin and a red glow.

            Everyone’s eyes went to Alastor, slightly scared.

            Alastor snapped back to his usual self. “Well, I’m starved! Who wants some jambalaya? My mother once showed me the most wonderful recipe for jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of hell! Ohoho, I’m on a roll! Yes, sir, this is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set!”

            (Y/N) watched him go. Oh, yeah, they wanted that type of power.

Chapter Text

            (Y/N) had decided they didn’t like the extermination. The screams, the explosions, the angels—it was frustrating. Luckily, in the Hotel, they were removed from the killing and could just sit and wait for things to finish. However, Alastor had gathered everyone together to “show them something” (which, as everyone had learned already, meant everyone was about to be made fun of).

            Alastor switched on the old-timey TV he had permitted in the hotel, and it turned on to reveal an…ad?

            “Well, hello there you wayward sinner!” said Alastor’s voice as it displayed him pointing at two fighting demons. “Do you like bloody, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that’s why you’re in Hell!” The camera zoomed out to reveal a destroyed quarter of Hell. “But what would you say if there was a place to stay that had none of that?” The camera switched to the hotel. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer’s delusional daughter!”

            The camera faced Charlie, and she waved hesitantly. “Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun things! Such as a somewhat functional staff, and twenty-four-hour pest control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversations with our only two guests!” The camera faced Angel and (Y/N). Angel gave the middle finger, and (Y/N) narrowed their eyes, knowing something was up. “Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!”

            The video ended, and everyone stared while Alastor perked up, proud of himself.

            “So, what’d ya think?” he said.

            “I’m sorry, what the fuck was that?” said Vaggie angrily.

            “Uh, yeah, one note…” said Charlie awkwardly. “Alastor, I mean—First off, thank you so much for making this, it’s seriously amazing—but, um, maybe the tone is a bit off?” Alastor’s grin just darkened. “We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um…”

            “Fucking depressing,” suggested (Y/N).

            “Funny. I was going for hilarious!” said Alastor.

            Vaggie narrowed her eyes. “It didn’t explain anything about how we’re trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.”

            “Vaggie is right, Alastor,” said Charlie. “The commercial was to let Sinners know we are trying to help them!”

            “Well, my dear, I haven’t been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show!” Alastor’s grin widened. “The proper medium to express oneself. But you insist on this: a noisy picture box advertisement. So I had a little fun with it.”

            “Oh, fun. You had a little fun with it?” said Vaggie. She crossed her arms. “Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you’re mocking us! Nobody’s going to want to come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time.”

            Angel raised his hand.

            “What?” said Vaggie.

            “If ya filmin’ a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?” said Angel, posing.

            “Ew,” said (Y/N), and Angel stuck out his tongue at them. Neither took it to heart. (Y/N) liked being able to speak their mind in Hell, and Angel would just give an equally witty retort when they did, so they both thrived in conversation.

            “Angel, you’re a porn star,” said Vaggie.

            “A famous porn star,” said Angel. “I’ll have the horniest sinners knockin’ these walls down to get in.”

            “I would really prefer not to have perverts in the hotel,” said (Y/N), making a face.

            “Yeah, no!” said Vaggie. “Not only do we have a kid here, but filming porn as the commercial is completely out of the question!”

            “Sex sells,” said Angel. “I swear, if you film me goin’ at it with Mr. Fancy-Talk-Creepy-Voice here, you’d be rollin’ in participants willin’ to stay at the tacky hotel.”

            Alastor looked unimpressed. “Haha! Never going to happen. Besides, like Vagatha said, we couldn’t create such an environment for an impressionable child. What would Charlie think?”

            “Yeah, it sounds like a bad idea…” said Charlie, looking at (Y/N).

            “Is everyone choosing to ignore the fact I killed people?” said (Y/N).

            “Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don’t want to exploit you in that way,” said Charlie, smiling.

            “Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited,” said Angel. “I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity, I got the legs, the gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits—”

            “Should I just say ‘ew’ after everything you say to get you to stop?” said (Y/N).

            “Won’t stop me!” declared Angel.

            Charlie’s phone went off, and she hurriedly picked it up. “Uh, hold that thought. I’ll be right back!” She walked off to answer.

            “Hey, I have a question,” said Angel. He looked at Alastor. “If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can’t he just make people stay here?”

            Alastor laughed. “Oh, trust me. I can.”

            “Why do you think I’m here?” said Husk. “You actually think I’d be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn’t forcin’ me?”

            “What, you don’t love being here with me, Whiskers?” teased Angel.

            “Call me ‘Whiskers’ again, and I’ll jam that bottle down your throat,” threatened Husk.

            “Kinky! Come on, keep talkin’ dirty!” said Angel.

            “Until you let me have a drink, I’m not happy you’re here,” muttered (Y/N), glaring at Husk.

            “Princess over there says no, so no,” said Husk.

            “What the fuck is the point of being in Hell if I don’t get to do anything fun?” grumbled (Y/N).

            “I agree! Why not let the child have a good time? That’s what the hotel is for,” said Alastor.

            “See? He agrees,” said (Y/N), gesturing to Alastor.

            “That is a terrible argument,” said Vaggie. “He just wants you to get into trouble!”

            “I’m in Hell. What more could I do without making a deal with someone, which I’m not doing?” said (Y/N).

            “Indeed,” said Alastor, nodding. “Why not enjoy some entertainment and enjoy oneself?”

            “Stop it,” hissed Vaggie. “This is supposed to be about rehabilitation and redemption, people choosing to stay here.”

            “I’m choosing to stay here, and I think it’s all stupid,” said Angel. “We’re in Hell, toots. That’s kind of the end of the road, ain’t it?”

            “Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be,” said Vaggie. “Just because nobody has made it out before doesn’t mean it’s not possible.”

            “Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin’ here rent-free,” said Angel. “Crack is expensive.”

            “Haha! Yes!” cheered Charlie, bounding back into the room. “Vaggie! Holy shit!”

            “What?” asked Vaggie.

            Charlie gestured for her to come over, and Vaggie smiled fondly at her girlfriend before walking over. (Y/N) and Angel exchanged inquisitive looks. A moment later, Charlie slipped into song, which meant she was super excited.

(Charlie) “I can do this,
Somehow, I know it,
I’ll get Heaven behind my plan!”

            So she’s meeting with Heaven? thought (Y/N).

            “Charlie, hold on,” said Vaggie nervously.

(Charlie) “There’s just no way I could blow it!
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance.”

            “It’s just a meeting,” said Vaggie.

(Charlie) “To change their minds,
And touch their hearts,
Or whatever angels have.”

            “This could be bad,” said Vaggie.

(Charlie) “Cheer up, Vaggie!
This could be swell!
Something tells me that today will be a happy day,
In Hell!”

            “Okay, but just…don’t sing to them,” advised Vaggie.

            “She’s gone,” said (Y/N).

            “That bitch is halfway down the street,” laughed Angel as everyone looked out the door to watch Charlie go.

            “Is she—”

            “She’s dancing, yeah,” confirmed (Y/N).

            Vaggie groaned. “Ugh, no.”

            “Is this going to go badly?” asked (Y/N).

            “It might go alright,” said Vaggie optimistically.

            “It’s going to be an absolute travesty,” said Alastor brightly.

            “In an entertaining way or in the way that we’re going to end up in trouble?” said (Y/N).

            “Both, hopefully!” said Alastor, looking forward for his own amusement.

            Vaggie groaned and put her head in her hands.

            “Well, I’m gonna go out and find something actually fun to do!” chirped Angel.

            “No, nope, nobody’s going anywhere!” said Vaggie. “We’re all sitting down and making a proper commercial that actually helps the hotel!”

            “Uh-oh, does that mean you expect me to be involved?” said (Y/N).

            “Yes,” said Vaggie.

            “I hate being told what to do,” said (Y/N).

            “Tough shit,” said Vaggie.

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            “Okay, so Charlie is dealing with something very important,” said Vaggie once she had cornered everyone in one room. “So while she’s gone, we are making a new commercial. One that represents her vision and what we’re doing here. So, we need a camera. Alastor?”

            He snapped his finger, and an old-fashioned photographic camera appeared.

            Vaggie deadpanned. “A video camera.”

            “Hm.” Alastor was unimpressed with the idea, but he snapped his fingers nonetheless and let a video camera appear.

            “Alright, let’s do this!” said Vaggie.

            First up was a scene with Husk and Angel.

            “And…action!” said Vaggie, pointing the camera at them.

            “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” said Husk, reading from the script. “Can I help you with anything?”

            “I’ve been a bad boy,” said Angel. “And I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place! On the path to redemption!”

            “Well, you’ve come—”

            “Oh, yes!” Angel cut off Husk.

            “To the right place,” finished Husk, rolling his eyes.

            “Cut,” said Vaggie, sighing. “Okay, Angel, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?”

            “I ain’t no actor!” said Husk. “I can’t memorize this shit!”

            “Well, we could always improv this shit, Baby cakes,” purred Angel.

            Husk shoved him off the counter.

            Vaggie sighed and looked back at (Y/N) and Alastor.

            “This is going great,” said (Y/N) with a grin.

            “Oh, yes, splendidly!” said Alastor.

            Vaggie growled and was tempted to grab her spear as she was faced with shit-eating grins.

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            Next was Niffty’s scene, but she was more interested in stabbing insects than she was the camera.

            “Stab, stab, stab!” said Niffty.

            “Alright, Niffty! Niffty!” said Vaggie, catching her attention. “Your line is ‘We have the cleanest rooms.’ Okay?”

            “Got it! I’m ready!” said Niffty.

            “Action.” Vaggie turned on the camera.

            Niffty’s smile fell, and she stared, wide-eyed, at the camera.

            “Uh…cut,” said Vaggie, slightly unnerved.

            “How was that?” said Niffty, smiling.

            “Well, Niffty, you actually have to say the line. Let’s roll again,” said Vaggie.

            “Okay!” said Niffty.

            “Action,” said Vaggie.

            Niffty once again just stared, empty-eyed.

            “You’re doing great, Vagina,” whispered Angel.

            “Cut!” shouted Vaggie. “Alright, um, maybe we can try to fix it in post.”

            “Do you even know what that means?” teased Angel.

            “I’ll figure it out!” snapped Vaggie. “(Y/N), Alastor, you’re up.”

            “No, I don’t get on camera,” said Alastor, dismissing the word “camera” distastefully.

            “I don’t want any attention,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms. They really weren’t a fan of having people stare at them, and a commercial would do that, especially for something as crazy as this.

            Vaggie glared. “This is for Charlie.”

            Alastor and (Y/N) remained unmoved and crossed their arms.

            Vaggie cursed under her breath.

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            (Y/N) knocked on the door of the room Vaggie was using to rewatch the footage she’d managed to get.

            “What?” snapped Vaggie.

            “Listen, I don’t want to be on camera,” said (Y/N), holding up their hands. “I really don’t. But if I can help in some other way, I’ll do it.”

            Vaggie groaned and put her head on her hands. “I don’t know how you can help. It all sucks.”

            “Yes, seems like you’re having a bit of trouble there, hm?” said Alastor, popping out of the shadows.

            “Why are you even here?” snapped Vaggie.

            “For the entertainment!” said Alastor, shrugging. “I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly!” He beamed at Vaggie. “Like you are doing now! Good job!”

            Vaggie narrowed her eyes and pointed the video camera at Alastor. “And here’s Alastor, the egocentric piece of shit that—” the camera buzzed with electricity, and Vaggie was forced to drop it as it sparked.

            “I wouldn’t try that, my dear,” said Alastor. “This face was made for radio.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they were struck with Alastor’s intimidating presence once again. Holy hell, they wanted strength like that.

            “I don’t care who or what you are!” said Vaggie ferociously. “If you are staying here, you are going to make this work! Because it won’t be so ‘entertaining’ to watch over an empty hotel, will it, shitass?!”

            “Fair enough! I’ll tell you what,” said Alastor. “Let’s make a deal.”

            Vaggie scoffed. “Do you think I’m that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.”

            “Not for your soul,” scoffed Alastor. “Just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again.”

            “You really hate tv,” said (Y/N).

            “It’s the worst medium for expressing oneself,” said Alastor distastefully. “So petty and uninspired.”

            “That’s all you want?” said Vaggie, furrowing her brow.

            “That, or Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing,” said Alastor brightly. “Your choice.”

            Vaggie sighed. “Fine.” She put the broken camera in Alastor’s hand, and it disappeared.

            Green light surrounded him, and he snapped his fingers. “Now, then!”

            Everyone appeared in the room and got 1920s themed outfits, and a camera crew of shadows appeared ready to serve.

            Vaggie smiled. “Alright, everyone! Let’s make a fucking commercial!”

            (Y/N) took a careful step back while Vaggie grabbed the others to film.

            “Still not interested?” said Alastor, amused.

            “I don’t want to be on camera,” said (Y/N), making a face and shaking their head.

            “What do you think of radio?” said Alastor.

            (Y/N) shrugged. “Better than podcasts.”

            Alastor’s grin widened, and he nodded in satisfaction. That was the correct answer.

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            “Charlie!” Vaggie hugged her girlfriend as she finally returned to the hotel. “How’d it go? Did they listen?”

            “Oh, uh, they sure did hear it! But, uh…” Charlie trailed off nervously.

            “Oh, come here! We have something exciting to show you!” said Vaggie. “Alastor pulled some strings, and it’s about to air!”

            “I pulled a few limbs, too!” laughed Alastor. (Y/N) snickered.

            “Wait? The commercial?” said Charlie, eyes widening. “You all made a new one?”

            “Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself,” said Angel proudly.

            “That’s…that’s amazing!” Charlie’s eyes shone with emotion.

            “Shush, it’s starting!” said Angel.

            The TV showed them in their outfits. ((Y/N) had contributed by filming). “Welcome to the Hazbin Ho—”

            Vaggie’s lines were cut off as the TV switched to a “Breaking News” sign, and the residents and staff of Hazbin Hotel grumbled.

            “Breaking news in Hell today!” said Katie Killjoy as she came onscreen. “We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means, Tom?”

            “No, what does it mean, Katie?” asked Tom Trench.

            “It means we are all royally fucked,” cursed Katie.

            The camera switched to the countdown clock as it cut in half to 176 days.

            “Wait…what?! Why?!” cried Angel.

            “Holy shit,” said (Y/N), eyes widening. Their situation had just gotten worse. They were in more danger.

            And they still had no way to defend themself.

Chapter Text

            “Okay, so the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year,” said Charlie, pacing. “No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can’t handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls?” She laughed nervously, the breakdown beginning. “Am I right? And next time, when they cut the time in half again and again, we’ll just handle it, right?”

            Vaggie caught Charlie by the shoulders. “Yes. We will.” She attempted to steady her girlfriend.

            “Oh, please, ya had less of a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit,” said Angel. “And now….Ain’t no silver lining this time toots.”

            “Sure there is,” said Charlie. “We just have to look a little harder for it.”

            “Seems pretty bleak to me,” said (Y/N). “I don’t know much about it, but it feels like the angels get to do whatever they want and fuck us over.”

            Angel nodded, and Charlie deflated. “The rest of Hell agrees with them. They’re going nuts.” Angel grimaced as he read through reactions on his phone. “People are freaking out about the news.” He held up his phone. “Look at what’s happening in the Doomsday District.”

            The land was on fire, and Charlie frowned as a notification popped up.

            “Er, what is a ‘donkey show?’ ” she asked.

            “Ah! Heh, nothing!” said Angel, snatching his phone back. “My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone’s losing their shit.”

            “Yeah, that’s true. Sinners are desperate,” said Vaggie. “Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the next extermination?” She smiled at Charlie.

            “This is the perfect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!” said Charlie excitedly.

            “People will do everything except for try to change themselves,” said (Y/N), dubious of that idea. “If exterminations have been going on for…forever, I don’t really know if this will change anything yet. You’d have to be really convincing.”

            “Well, yeah, but that’s why I have to go out and gather people myself!” said Charlie. “It’s not people are going to show up on our doorstep.”

            Boom!

            The wall exploded (again).

            “Show yourself, Alastor!” cried a familiarly snakelike and dramatic voice. It was Sir Pentious from the previous incident, back to get his ass beat again (because what else was going to happen to him? Alastor was way more powerful than him). “Come and face—”

            “Will you shut up?!” snapped (Y/N), leaning their head out the hole. “We’re trying to handle some problems in here!”

            Pentious deflated in disappointment as the teenager glared at him, completed unintimidated. “I’m not here for you! I’m here for Alastor!”

            Hearing the commotion and always loving some entertainment, Alastor popped out of the shadows with a mug that said “Hello, Deer.” “Who are you?” he asked.

            “Who am I?! Who am I!?” cried Pentious. “I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, villain extraordinaire!”

            “Ooh, he’s a bad boy,” said Niffty, grinning.

            “Huh, well, if all that’s true, you’d think I’d have heard of you,” said Alastor, grinning.

            “I attacked you literally last week,” said Pentious.

            Alastor tilted his head, clearly not remembering a thing.

            “We’ve done battle like twenty times!” said Pentious.

            “Well, you must have been really bad at this,” said Alastor.

            “Silence! Now cower!” cried Pentious. “For when I’ve slain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal!”

            (Y/N) looked at Vaggie. “Who are the Vees?”

            “Velvette, Valentino, and Vox—three of the worst Overlords. Velvette deals in fashion and social media, Valentino runs Hell’s biggest porn studio, and Vox controls almost all technology,” said Vaggie. She crossed her arms. “Don’t get involved with them. They’re manipulative pieces of shit.”

            “Definitely am not planning it,” said (Y/N). They didn’t want to get put under anyone’s thumb after their life.

            “They’re nobody important,” said Alastor.

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            “You know, Angel isn’t the only one spending time at that ratty hotel with the devil’s princessa,” said Valentino.

            “Oh, who else is there? Someone who owes you money?” asked Vox.

            Valentino chuckled. “Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there.”

            Vox’s screen sparked, and his nails dug into the desk. “What did you say?”

            “You heard me,” said Valentino.

            “Alastor came back, and he is with Lucifer’s daughter, and that wasn’t the first fucking thing you told me?!” snapped Vox.

            “Hey, killing Alastor is your kink,” said Valentino, waving a hand.

            Vox glared at the screens in the room, and one switched onto a recording on the hotel so he could glare at the gathering outside. Alastor, who kept glitching in the recording, was grinning and standing beside Lucifer’s daughter, her girlfriend, Angel, and a young demon with a rose motif.

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            “Oh, please, stop!” cried Pentious as his ship was once again torn apart by shadows while Alastor cackled in amusement.

            “Um, Alastor? I think he’s had enough,” said Charlie.

            “I don’t know, he came here asking for it,” said (Y/N), smiling brightly.

            “Oh, yeah, he’s got a few more hits in ‘im,” snickered Angel.

            Pentious fell out of his ship and landed on the ground.

            “Thanks for another forgettable experience,” said Alastor with a wide grin.

            “Thank…you…” groaned Pentious. “For letting your guard down!” His tail shot out, tore off a piece of Alastor’s coat, and retreated. Pentious laughed.

            A large shadow loomed over him.

            “Oh, shit.”

            Green magic exploded from Alastor, and Pentious was sent flying out of the hotel’s airspace.

            “Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor,” said Alastor, turning away from the flying snake without a care. “Best of luck, chums!”

            “Wait, you’re leaving?” said Vaggie. “Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job.”

            “We need a wall,” said Angel.

            “Of course! Can’t let my new project fall into disrepair already! What would the papers say?” Alastor snapped his fingers, and shadow workers, like from the advertisement, popped up to help rebuild the wall. Satisfied, Alastor turned and walked away.

            Angel grinned and approached the shadows. “Hey, sweet cheeks. What you doin’ later?”

            “I’m out,” said (Y/N), turning away before they had to see Angel flirt more.

            “Can you at least help us?” asked Vaggie, gesturing to the destroyed wall.

            “…Do I look like I have experience building walls?” said (Y/N), frowning.

            “You can buy us a new painting. Charlie likes having decorations, and one got destroyed by Sir Pentious,” said Vaggie.

            (Y/N) considered. “Are you giving me money?”

            “Yes,” said Vaggie.

            “Ok, sure,” said (Y/N), shrugging.

            “Right,” said Vaggie, pulling out cash. “And here, I’ll show you where to go.”

            She pulled out her phone to show a map of the Pride ring. The last thing they needed was (Y/N) getting lost and getting into trouble. Actually, Charlie would probably be against sending (Y/N) out for an errand, but Vaggie had seen they were going a bit stir crazy from being at the hotel all the time, so the least she could do was give (Y/N) a short errand to run to one of the more civilized/reputable areas of Pride. And if there was any trouble, Vaggie would go into town and intercede with her spear.

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            (Y/N) hadn’t expected running an errand in Hell to go so smoothly. After every other person at the hotel complained or ran into some trouble (Angel: old customers, Vaggie and Charlie: haters of the hotel, Husk: people in general), (Y/N) had expected to have to stay on their toes. Instead, they had gone into the shop Vaggie asked them to, purchased a non-inappropriate painting, and headed out with enough change to buy themself something.

            (Y/N) had seen a café on the way into town, and now the sweets were calling their name as they headed back. Seeing as they never got to treat themself in life, why not do so in death?

            (Ironically, so far their death had been better and more filled with friendship than their life had been.)

            (Y/N) walked through the streets, pausing only to make sure they had the right directions. Sure, they’d been fine so far, but they weren’t going to test their luck by going anywhere they weren’t supposed to.

            (Y/N) passed by a group of demons staring at television screens in a store window, entranced. Curious, (Y/N) paused to glance at the screens.

            They were displaying an advertisement for merchandise from the very store they were standing in. People were in a trance watching, and they all immediately rushed inside to purchase what they’d seen advertised.

            (Y/N) frowned. Looking at the screens gave them a headache, so (Y/N) turned to walk away. They had a bad feeling about the store and technology—so missing from the hotel—and they weren’t going to ignore that feeling.

            No sooner had (Y/N) decided to ignore the screens that one buzzed to life, and sparks jumped from the screen. (Y/N) froze as the sparks formed the body of a man with a TV for a head in front of them on the sidewalk, effectively blocking their path.

            Well, shit, I don’t think I’ve successfully avoided trouble, thought (Y/N). It didn’t take a genius to realize this was Vox, who Vaggie had warned them about.

            “No interest in any technology?” said Vox with a wide, electric grin.

            “Nope.” (Y/N) kept their answer short and curt, trying to get out of the conversation.

            “You’re one of the sinners staying at the princess’s hotel,” said Vox, eyes narrowing calculatingly. His smile widened. “I don’t believe you have a phone. Are you sure you don’t need one?” He held out his hand, and a phone was held in it. “Think of it as a welcome gift to Hell.”

            “I’m not interested,” said (Y/N), stepping around Vox to attempt an escape from the encounter.

            Vox turned immediately, still smiling widely. Apparently, it wasn’t going to be that easy to avoid him. “I’m just trying to support the hotel. Like the Radio Demon.” His smile glitched slightly.

            Oh. So that’s what this was. Vox was just trying to get in Alastor’s hair and annoy him.

            “Yeah, well, we’re okay,” said (Y/N), taking a step away.

            “Are you sure?” One of Vox’s eyes pulsed with energy, and (Y/N)’s headache grew stronger.

            “Yes,” said (Y/N) firmly.

            “I think that you may want to reconsider,” said Vox, eye still swirling.

            “I think I’m fine,” said (Y/N). “So just leave me alone.” They narrowed their eyes.

            Vox’s screen sparked, and his eyes narrowed.

            Danger, danger!

            Sparks flew at (Y/N).

            Bam!

            A bramble of vines and thorns erupted from the ground and blocked the sparks. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and Vox sparked.

            “What the—”

            “My, my, are you bothering one of my guests?”

            A shadow loomed over Vox and (Y/N). Vox flinched and looked to see Alastor with a wide, threatening smile.

            “Really, Vox, what terrible manners,” said Alastor.

            “Radio Demon,” snapped Vox.

            “Yes, precisely,” said Alastor. “So run along and leave my guests alone. Really, how unbecoming.” His grin sharpened. “Unless, of course, if you’d like to have another little competition.”

            Vox glared, and his screen glitched. However, he wasn’t interested in going toe-to-toe with Alastor again after getting his entire network shut down for a few hours, so with a final angry glare, he dissolved into electricity and disappeared into the TVs he came from.

            “Well, what a terrible way to end a day out,” tsked Alastor.

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N), making a face.

            Alastor looked at the briar sticking up from the ground. “And what might this be?”

            (Y/N) stared at it. “It just kind of…appeared.”

            Alastor raised an eyebrow. “When Vox threatened you?”

            “Uh, yeah,” said (Y/N), touching the vine curiously. It flinched and disappeared back into the ground. “Huh.”

            Alastor grinned. “How interesting.”

            “What do you mean?” said (Y/N), cocking their head.

            “That, my dear, is magic,” said Alastor. His grin had widened in amusement. “It seems you’re going to be an entertaining guest.”

            “Oh, yay,” said (Y/N) sarcastically. “That’s exactly what I’m hoping to be.”

            Alastor laughed and waved a hand. “Have no fear, have no fear. Why, the entertainment I’m looking for is you struggling with that magic.”

            “Thanks,” said (Y/N), still deadpan. “I’ll make sure to practice in front of you so you can laugh.

            Alastor grinned. “Why, thank you, dear! Perhaps I’ll even give you a few tips!”

            (Y/N) looked at him, rolled their eyes, and shrugged. “Have fun.”

            “Oh, I always do,” chirped Alastor. “Now, come, let’s return to the hotel. No point getting into more trouble, even if you’ve discovered magic.” He looked at them. “And I do intend to give you a few tips.”

            “Wait, really?” said (Y/N), blinking in surprise.

            “Of course. I can’t have my guests being helpless,” said Alastor, twirling his staff.

            (Y/N) perked up. “Thanks, Alastor!”

            He glanced at them, surprised at the boisterous honesty. He decided not to respond, and the pair walked back towards Hazbin Hotel in silence.

            That was fine with (Y/N). They were contemplating finally having some power of their own for their own life.

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            “Oh, good, you made it back alright!” said Charlie. She smiled at (Y/N). “Vaggie told me she sent you out, and I was worried!”

            “I didn’t mind going out. I’m going stir crazy here,” said (Y/N).

            “And they have proven themself capable of keeping themself safe,” said Alastor with a grin.

            Vaggie frowned. “Wait, did something happen?”

            (Y/N) coughed. “You know how you told me to avoid the Vees?”

            “Yeah?” said Vaggie, narrowing her eyes.

            “Vox decided to pop out of a TV in front of me,” said (Y/N).

            “What?!” cried Vaggie.

            “Relax, they were fine,” said Alastor. He twirled his staff. “I interceded before anything could happen to them, and Vox’s sparks couldn’t even hurt them.” His grin widened. “They summoned magic of their own.”

            “You did?” said Charlie excitedly.

            (Y/N) nodded. “Apparently, yeah.”

            “That’s awesome!” said Charlie encouragingly.

            “Yes, it’s quite unusual,” said Alastor. “And I intend to teach them.”

            Everyone froze and stared at Alastor.

            “You what?” repeated Charlie, an awkward smile on her face.

            “I will be teaching (Y/N) to use their magic. We can’t have them being helpless, now, can we?” Alastor still wore his signature grin, as mischievous as ever.

            Oh shit, thought everyone. If there was one thing they knew, it was Alastor taking a liking to the teenager couldn’t be a good thing. It could only spell trouble and mischief.

            And, unfortunately for them, (Y/N) wore an excited grin that promised all that trouble and more.

Chapter Text

            Charlie, having spent the afternoon trying to get people to come to the hotel, crashed onto the couch of the lobby. She literally couldn’t go on after such a disappointing experience.

            “So, how’d it go?” said Angel.

            Vaggie sighed. “Not a single new recruit.”

            “Yeah. Well, who would want to use their last days not fucking and fighting?” said Angel.

            Something banged on the front door, and everyone paused to glance at it. Vaggie approached and opened it. Sir Pentious stood outside with his hat in his hands and an awkward smile.

            “Why, hello, my dear—Wait, wait, wait!” Pentious backed up as Vaggie whipped out her spear to point at him. “I come in peace!”

            “What are you doing here?!” snapped Vaggie.

            “Vaggie, what’s the problem?” sighed Charlie, dragging herself to the door. She gasped as she saw Pentious. “Oh, hello again!”

            “I didn’t come looking for a fight!” said Pentious instantly. “I, uh, I heard that you’re helping people. People who want to be better?”

            “You heard right!” said Charlie excitedly. “Welcome to our home of healing. Our resort of restoration. Our—”

            “Are you fucking nuts?” Angel blocked the entrance of the hotel before Charlie could bring Pentious inside. “That chump was trying to kill us, like, literally six hours ago. And now you want to bring him in here to live with us?!”

            “Absolutely!” said Charlie. “This place is about second chances! And who deserves one more than this…slithery…slippery…special little man.”

            “Do you want to rephrase that and make him sound any less suspicious?” said (Y/N), narrowing their eyes as they looked at Pentious.

            “He’s fine,” said Charlie brightly.

            (Y/N) looked at Vaggie. “Can’t you throw him out or something? Protect the hotel?”

            Charlie gave Vaggie puppy-eyes before Vaggie could say no. She sighed. “I…guess he’s not much of a threat without the war machine. Or even with the war machine.”

            Pentious deflated at not being thought a threat.

            “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” said Charlie, hugging Vaggie. “Sir Pentious, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

            “Oh, no, darling, thank you!” said Pentious. “You won’t regret this.” He walked inside behind Charlie.

            Angel and (Y/N) narrowed his eyes.

            “I’m going to kill him if he tries anything,” muttered (Y/N).

            “Charlie won’t like that.” Angel looked at them. “And can you even control your abilities?”

            “I don’t need magic. I’d be angry enough,” said (Y/N).

            “Fair enough,” said Angel. “I give him a week tops.”

            “So, this is the bar and the bartender,” said Charlie, bringing Pentious into the lobby. “This is the curtain, and this is the new wall after you break the last one, heh, and, oh, this, this is—”

            “Babe, you don’t have to show him every detail,” said Vaggie.

            “Sorry, I’m just so excited to have our first real guest!” said Charlie.

            “Uh, what the hell are (Y/N) and I then?” said Angel, crossing his arms.

            “Well, you’re an important part of our family here, Angel,” said Charlie, smiling. “But you, um, uh…”

            “Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve?” suggested Vaggie.

            “I haven’t done any of that,” said (Y/N).

            “You don’t care about what you did in life,” said Vaggie, putting her hands on her hips.

            “Doesn’t mean I don’t support you,” said (Y/N).

            “And you just agreed to let Alastor teach you to use magic,” said Vaggie.

            “Personally, I think that’s a great idea for myself,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            Vaggie groaned.

            “What she means is, it’s just nice to have someone more actively interested for once,” said Charlie with a smile.

            Angel’s smile fell, and (Y/N) frowned. They hadn’t done anything bad since arriving in Hell. And, yes, they weren’t sure about how this experiment would work, but if anyone could do it, (Y/N) thought Charlie could help people. That had to count for something.

            …Alright, maybe (Y/N) could be doing more, but in their defense, (Y/N) never got to have any fun in life, so they were just trying to enjoy themself in death.

            “Over here we have our maid, Niffty,” said Charlie.

            “The bad boy is back!” said Niffty, running up to Pentious. She jumped onto him and grabbed the lapels of his shirt. “Never leave me again.”

            “We’re about eighty percent sure she’s harmless,” said Charlie, laughing nervously. “And over here we have—Oh, uh, Alastor!” The Radio Demon had come to the lobby. “—Our gracious Facility Manager.” Charlie cleared her throat. “You’ve met our newest guest, Sir Pentious…”

            “Ah, yes. You’re the one who ruined my coat.” Alastor’s grin sharpened. I definitely remember you now.”

            Charlie interceded before any violence could occur. “Well, I guess this is a great time for your first lesson.” She cleared her throat. “ ‘How to apologize.’ ” She smiled at Pentious. “The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you are wrong. Why don’t you give it a try?”

            This is gonna be good, thought (Y/N).

            “Yes, um…Mr. Um, Radio Demon, sir, please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat…” Pentious smiled nervously and held up a small scrap of cloth. “Um, here.”

            Alastor took the scrap. “Oh-ho, not many people have been able to take even this much off me. It must have meant quite a lot to you.” Green flames ate up the cloth while everyone stared. Alastor grinned.

            Charlie decided to call a hotel meeting before anything else could go astray with the new addition to the guests.

            “Now, with a new resident, I think it’s important we all get to know each other, so we are going to play a little game,” said Charlie. “Everyone, follow me! My name is Charlie.” She clapped twice. “I like to sing.” Two claps. “And when we get to know each other, it’s the greatest thing.” Two claps. Charlie smiled and gestured to Pentious.

            “My name’s Sir Pentious,” said Pentious. He clapped awkwardly. “I like to build.” Two claps. “And despite my stupid Egg Bois, I think I’m very skilled.” He clapped.

            Charlie gestured at Angel, and he deadpanned. “This is stupid.”

            “This is not stupid, it’s just the game,” said Charlie, clapping and singing. “Sir Pentious did it well, so now please try to do the same.”

            “I am too sober for this,” said Angel.

            “I can’t make up a rhyme on the spot,” said (Y/N). They attempted a welcoming smile to make Charlie happy. “But I’m (Y/N).”

            In Charlie’s next attempt at bonding, she put together a skit for Angel and Pentious to perform. It was, of course, cheesy.

            “ ‘Oh, I’m a bad man on the streets who never got enough hugs,’ ” said Angel. “ ‘Now, where’s an innocent kid I can sell crack to?’ Wow, who wrote this?”

            “It’s great, right?! Keep going,” said Charlie excitedly.

            “ ‘Hey, you!’ ” said Angel to Pentious, dressed as a stereotypical kid.

            “Who, me?” said Pentious, licking a lollipop.

            “ ‘Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some devil’s dandruff,’ ” said Angel, deadpan. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

            “Not me, I have to go home and study,” said Pentious proudly.

            “ ‘Come on, kid. It’ll make you cool like me. The crack head,’ ” said Angel.

            “The only cool thing here is to say no to drugs,” said Pentious. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage.”

            “Oh, bravo, bravo!” said Charlie, clapping. “Wow, Pentious, at this rate you’ll be redeemed in no time.”

            I don’t think we have this to a science, thought (Y/N).

            “I…I’m going to bed,” said Angel suddenly, walking away.

            “I am so proud of you, Sir Pentious,” said Charlie. “That was amazing!”

            “Thank you,” said Pentious.

            Angel’s face fell, and he took his leave before his disappointment grew. He wasn’t working as hard as Pentious, and while he was being redeemed, Charlie was leaving Angel behind.

            (Y/N) watched him go and frowned. Hopefully, he’d feel better soon.

            “(Y/N),” said Alastor.

            “Yeah?” said (Y/N).

            “I believe we should begin your training,” said Alastor. His grin widened. “This will be quite entertaining.”

            (Y/N) had a feeling that meant just for him, but, hey, they were willing to do what it took to get stronger. (Y/N) needed to be strong.

l

            “Focus,” said Alastor.

            (Y/N) narrowed their eyes on the roses growing in front of them. “It’s kind of hard with you interrupting me.”

            Alastor waved his staff, and recordings of various broadcasts played around him. “Hell is the land of interruptions and distractions. You must be able to work through everything if you are to have skill.”

            (Y/N) bit their lip and opted to focus on the plants. Alastor was right. They couldn’t argue with him; they needed to get stronger. Hell wasn’t going to be kind to them. It was up to them to grow strong enough to protect themself.

            Alastor watched their roses grow and the briars twist into thorny traps. He wasn’t ordinarily the type to teach or to help anyone, but this could prove useful. After seven years, times had changed in Hell. Alastor needed to ensure his power was recuperated and held onto, so if this young, naïve demon could prove powerful and teachable (manipulatable), then Alastor would “help” them. Then, they could help him.

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            (Y/N) had crashed into their bed after training with Alastor. It had been exhausting, but (Y/N) had started to be able to summon their magic, which appeared to take the form of plants—roses and briars. No matter how tired they were, getting stronger was worth it.

            “You slippery little shit!”

            A shout from Angel woke (Y/N) up, and they rolled out of bed quickly. Moving into the hall, they saw Angel glaring at Pentious as he cowered nervously.

            “You’re working for the Vees?!” snapped Angel. “I fucking knew there was something shitty about you!”

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” denied Pentious. “Whorebug!” He hissed out the word, and Angel tackled him in anger.

            “Whoa, Angel!” said (Y/N), reaching out a hand.

            Vines split the ground, grabbed Pentious and Angel, and dragged them apart before they could do any more damage to one another.

            “What’s going on?” said Charlie, yawning as she appeared behind them.

            “This little bitch is a traitor!” said Angel.

            “Preposterous!” said Pentious. “I would never betray you. You…are my best friends.”

            “Explain the camera you brought in,” hissed (Y/N), glaring and gesturing to Angel, who, equally pissed, picked up the tech in question.

            Charlie and Vaggie gasped, and Pentious flinched.

            “Ah! Abort, abort!” he cried, slithering towards the window. “SOS! Agent Pentious in need of immediate evacuation!” He looked at his wrist, revealing a watch with Vox’s face on it.

            “Pentious? Wait, you were caught?” said Vox. He laughed. “It hasn’t even been a day!”

            “Please, you’ve got to get me out of here,” said Pentious.

            “I can’t believe we thought you could handle even something this simple,” said Vox. “Do us a favor, if they don’t kill you, go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure.”

            Pentious stared at the watch, tears collecting in his eyes. “I…I…” He threw the watch to the ground and faced the group. “Just make it quicky, I guess.” He sniffled, stifling his sobs. “Not that I deserve it.” He curled up on the ground.

            “Gladly,” said Vaggie, hoisting her spear.

            “Wait.” Charlie pushed the spear back. “Pentious?” She extended a hand. Pentious looked at her questioningly.

(Charlie) “It starts with sorry.”

            She helped Pentious stand.

(Charlie) “That’s your foot,
in the door.
One simple sorry,
Spoken straight from your core.”

            She touched his chest, and Pentious’s eyes widened.

(Charlie) “The path to forgiveness,
Is a twisting trail of hearts,
But sorry is where it starts.”

            Pentious stared at her, tears still in his eyes.

(Pentious) “Who could forgive a dirtbag like me,
I don’t deserve your amnesty.”
(Vaggie, Angel, (Y/N)) “Can’t we just kill him?!
Shoot him and spill his blood?”

            Vaggie held her spear tightly, Angel pulled out guns, and (Y/N)’s vines reacted to their emotions.

(Charlie) “That’s an option you could choose.”
(Vaggie, Angel, (Y/N)) “Works for us.”
(Charlie) “But who hasn’t been in his shoes?”

            She smiled at Pentious, stepped past the group trying to attack, and extended a hand to him.

(Charlie) “It starts with sorry.”

            Pentious took her hand.

(Pentious) “Sorry.”
(Charlie) “Dig down deeper and say,
One sincere sorry.”

            Pentious looked at Angel, Vaggie, and (Y/N) earnestly.

(Pentious) “I’m so sorry!”
(Charlie) “And your journey’s underway.”
(Charlie, Pentious) “It’ll take time to cover.
Your/my vast multitude of sins,
But sorry is where it begins,
It starts with sorry.”

            The song ended, and Charlie and Pentious smiled at each other. (Y/N) tilted their head. It actually seemed like Pentious was being honest. He was…changing.

            “I hated that song!” said Niffty, breaking the moment. “Why are you so lame?” She kicked Pentious’s tail. “Not a bad boy.”

            “Good first day,” said Charlie, still smiling gently. “Let’s get some rest.”

            She walked out of the room, Vaggie by her side. Angel gave a final glare at Pentious but walked out. (Y/N) followed but kept their eyes on Pentious.

            Can people actually change? (Y/N) hadn’t seen that in their life. But…maybe they just hadn’t seen the right people…

Chapter Text

            “That looks perfect!” said Charlie after Razzle and Dazzle helped her hang a “Happy First Week, Sir Pentious!” sign above the door. “Ah, I’m so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel.”

            “Uh, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago,” said Vaggie, crossing her arms.

            “And he was working with the Vees,” said (Y/N).

            “He apologized for that, and he hasn’t tried to take over the city from here!” said Charlie positively.

            As if summoned, Pentious pushed in a strange, cannon-like device with his Egg Bois riding on top.

            “What the hell is that?!” cried Vaggie.

            “Oh, hello, purple female,” said Pentious. “It’s my new invention, ‘Skin Flayer 11,000.’ I’m really looking forward to shooting the other residents.”

            (Y/N) stood up from the couch. “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

            “He’s harmless!” said Charlie.

            “Tell that to the cannon!” said (Y/N), escaping out of the room. As they went, they saw Angel coming down the stairs. “Don’t go in there.”

            “Huh? Why? I want a drink,” said Angel.

            “Pentious is considering shooting everyone right now,” said (Y/N).

            “Can’t we just get Smiles to throw him out?” grumbled Angel.

            “Yeah, Charlie’s against that,” sighed (Y/N).

            “Damn it,” muttered Angel.

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            “(Y/N)?” said Charlie, peeking into (Y/N)’s room.

            (Y/N) looked up guilty from where they were trying to grow a giant thorny rose in the middle of their room.

            Charlie stared. “What is that?”

            “Decorations…?” said (Y/N), smiling awkwardly.

            Charlie sighed. “What are you planning on doing with that?”

            “Just putting it up in my room,” said (Y/N) brightly. And to squeeze the life out of people if they try to hurt me.

            “…Okay,” said Charlie, accepting the explanation. “I’m asking people to come down for a hotel meeting!”

            “Do I have to?” said (Y/N).

            “I’ll send Vaggie to get anyone who doesn’t come,” chirped Charlie.

            “I’m coming,” said (Y/N), standing up instantly.

l

            “Hi, guys, thanks for coming!” said Charlie, all guests and staff (minus Alastor) gathered in the lobby. “It’s been brought to our attention that there may be a little…tension in the hotel.”

            Understatement, thought (Y/N), glancing at where Pentious was hissing at Niffty as she tried to approach. Husk and Angel were with them on the couch, avoiding the snake demon.

            “Tension that can be counterproductive to what we’re trying to do here,” said Vaggie.

            “We think this group could really benefit from trust exercises!” said Charlie. She grinned. “Yep, we’re doing trust exercises!”

            “So what’s with the whole, uh…this?” asked Husk. He gestured to the stage Charlie and Vaggie had set up with a sign saying “Trusting 101.” “I’m not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps.”

            “Oh, I will, but it’s cash up front, and I know that one—” Angel gestured at Pentious “—can’t afford me.”

            “I’d really prefer not to see the show you’re suggesting,” said (Y/N).

            “Gross, I’d never think of a spider,” hissed Pentious.

            “Right, well, let’s get started.” According to Vaggie, none of them were getting a choice. “Charlie?”

            “Hey, wait, where’s Alastor?” asked (Y/N), raising a hand.

            “He had some errands to run,” said Charlie, smiling. “So he can’t be here right now.”

            (Y/N) put their hand down. “Oh, okay.”

            Some part of them was a little disappointed. Alastor was…odd at times, but they had enjoyed training with him. He had been focused and tough, but it had helped (Y/N). They respected that.

            “Alright, are we good to get started now? Any more questions?” asked Vaggie.

            Angel put his hand in the air. “Can I leave?” Vaggie narrowed her eyes dangerously, and Angel lowered his hand. “Never mind.”

            “Alright, we’re good,” said Vaggie. “Go ahead, Charlie.”

            “Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one,” said Charlie. “I trust everyone, so maybe you know better about how to build it properly.”

            “What?” Vaggie blanched. “I, uh, don’t know if I’m qualified.”

            “Oh, come on. It’ll be easy. I’m sure you can handle this,” encouraged Charlie.

            “Yeah. Um, sure. I can handle this. No problem,” said Vaggie nervously. She stared at the group, none of whom seemed easy to deal with. She straightened her shoulders and began to pace in front of them formally. “Alright, so we are going to start with trust falls,” she said, sergeant-style. “Each of you are going to share something vulnerable with the group about yourself and then fall backwards while the rest of the group catches you. Got it? Who wants to go first?”

            Charlie waved her hand. “Ooh, ooh, me! Me, me!”

            “Alright, get up there,” said Vaggie, unsurprised that her girlfriend was eager to go first.

            Charlie ran up onto the stage and looked over them all. “I love you guys,” she announced. “Like really, really love you!” She turned around and fell backwards.

            No one stepped forward to catch her, and Vaggie ran to help Charlie.

            “Gotcha,” said Vaggie.

            “That…felt…good!” said Charlie. “Angel, why don’t you go next?”

            “Fine,” said Angel, walking onto the stage.

            “This time, everyone needs to catch him,” said Vaggie, hands on her hips. “Okay?” She pulled out her spear. “Unless you want me to hurt you.”

            “Somethin’ about myself, huh?” said Angel, considering. “How about this?” He grinned. “I loooove to suck—”

            “I sweat to fuck, if you say dicks!” growled Husk, and (Y/N) nodded in agreement.

            “—Popsickles, ya sicko!” said Angel, smiling mischievously. “Get your mind out of the gutter.” He fell off the stage and into Husk’s arms. “But, you know, dick’s too.”

            “Drop him,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms.

            Husk didn’t need to be told twice, and he let Angel fall to the ground.

            “Alright, (Y/N), for that, I say you go next,” said Angel.

            (Y/N) sighed and stepped up onto the stage. Everyone looked at them expectantly, and (Y/N) felt the petals of their hair wilt nervously.

            “I, uh, I think Hell sucks, but I like being here with you guys. It’s nice to be with people who are actually good people,” said (Y/N). They squeezed their eyes shut and let themself fall backwards.

            To their surprise, they were caught, and when they opened their eyes, Angel was smiling at them. Quickly, (Y/N) rolled out of his arms and cleared their throat. They didn’t want to do anything else vulnerable the entire day.

            “Uh, Pentious, you can go next,” said (Y/N).

            Thankfully, once Pentious got on the stage, his dramatics successfully distracted from their vulnerability.

            “I…don’t want to live without my minions!” said Pentious. “Nobody catch me.” He fell back, but Vaggie and Charlie caught him before he could hit the ground. “Damn it.”

            “That’s great,” said Vaggie. She let go of Pentious. “Wow, you are slimy. Okay, good job. Err, Niffty.”

            Niffty giggled and ran onstage. “Sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others.”

            Everyone stared at her. She leapt from the stage. The group took a step back. Niffty crashed to the ground.

            “Yay! Pain!” she cheered.

            She ran back up and jumped again, hitting the ground just as hard. Charlie pulled Vaggie to the side to speak for a moment, but that didn’t stop Niffty, and while the rest of the group stared at her, she continuously jumped and hit the ground with a maniacal laugh.

            “Pain!” cheered Niffty.

            “What are they going to make us do next?” whispered (Y/N) to Angel.

            The spider demon put his hands on his hips. “I’m gonna make sure we don’t do anything stupid.” Quickly, he ran over to speak to Charlie and Vaggie with his own ideas.

            (Y/N) sighed. “His idea is going to be inappropriate, isn’t it?”

            “Definitely,” said Husk.

            “Great.” (Y/N)’s asexuality shivered.

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            “Angel! What the actual fuck?!” said Vaggie, crossing her arms.

            Angel had brought the group to a BSDM club. (Y/N) immediately turned around and walked out. They weren’t dealing with that shit today.

            As it turned out, the next “bonding activity” wasn’t much better since Vaggie had taken military-like control of the group once again. They stood above a warzone of demons fighting and killing each other. Vaggie was proudly staring down while the others’ eyes widened.

            “This is how you learned to trust people?!” cried Charlie.

            “There is nothing stronger than the trust between comrades in arms!” declared Vaggie. “Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men! You—”

            “Wait, wait, I can’t fight without my minions!” cried Pentious as he was grabbed by Vaggie.

            She dumped him onto the battlefield. “—are going to survive together! And you—”

            “D-Don’t you even think about it!” cried Angel.

            He was thrown unceremoniously off the side of the roof. “—Are going to make this hotel work!” said Vaggie. “So get to it!”

            “Wait, wait, give me a moment to prepare myself!” cried (Y/N), but they were picked up and thrown over as well.

            Niffty jumped over on her own, eager to fight.

            “They’re shooting at us!” cried Pentious, cowering.

            “Yeah! Hahahaha!” cried Niffty, running at several enemies.

            “I’ll cover us,” said (Y/N), trying to take charge of the situation in some way. “Angel, can you grab Pentious while he freaks out?”

            “Why me?!” cried Angel.

            “Because Niffty is stabbing people and I’m going to get us a path out!” said (Y/N). “So grab the snake and drag his ass out of here!”

            “Okay, okay, got it!” said Angel, grabbing Pentious and throwing him over his shoulder.

            (Y/N) raised their hands, and vines ripped out of the ground to cover the group on both sides as they made a run for the building to get back up to Vaggie and Charlie. (Y/N) ran through the makeshift tunnel while Angel gave a war cry and carried Pentious over his head.

            They ran up the stairs back to Charlie and Vaggie, panting all the while. Angel unceremoniously threw Pentious down and gave the two women a thumbs up.

            “Made it,” he said.

            “I hated that,” groaned (Y/N), their roses wilting.

            “Let’s go home, guys,” said Charlie quietly, sadly.

            “Ugh. We just walked up all those stairs,” groaned Angel. Nonetheless, he grabbed Pentious by the tail and dragged him out with him.

            (Y/N) looked between Charlie and Vaggie before leaving the rooftop. Whatever was going on was a domestic fight, and they had nothing to do with it. They couldn’t help solve it, so they had to wait for Charlie and Vaggie to work it out.

l

            “You guys survived,” said Husk after the “recruits” collapsed on the couches of the hotel.

            “Of course we did!” said Angel.

            “I saved everyone’s asses,” said (Y/N) proudly.

            “Hey, I helped Pentious!” said Angel.

            “True, you dragged the dead weight,” said (Y/N), laughing.

            “And (Y/N)’s vines slapped people back left and right. It was awesome,” said Angel.

            “I guess Alastor is teaching you something,” said Husk with a begrudging smile.

            “He’s…you know, he’s Alastor, but I’m actually learning from him,” said (Y/N) with a smile.

            “I liked stabbing!” said Niffty.

            “We could see that,” said (Y/N).

            “Well, hey, I’m glad you all made it and can take a fight,” said Husk. He looked at Pentious. “You did okay, new kid.”

            “Really? Oh, well, I suppose I did get into a little rough and tumble today,” said Pentious shyly. He looked at Angel and (Y/N). “And thank you for pulling me out of there.”

            “Eh, no problem,” said Angel, slapping him on the back.

            “You owe us,” chirped (Y/N) with a grin.

            “Alastor,” called Vaggie from the stairs as the Radio Demon walked in the door. She and Charlie had been pleased to see that some form of bonding had actually occurred. “Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.”

            “Yes, well, the little monsters proved to be rather useful,” he said.

            “Why don’t you give them back to Pentious?” said Vaggie.

            Tears welled up in Pentious’s eyes. “Really?!”

            “Yeah,” said Vaggie. “After today, I guess I can trust you with them.”

            “Just don’t threaten to shoot us again,” said (Y/N) with a grin that was more threatening than kind.

            Pentious looked at them nervously. “I will not be trying to.”

            “Not after watching you on the field,” teased Angel.

            “Oh?” said Alastor, his grin widening. “Is my training paying off?”

            “Don’t take credit for it,” muttered Husk. “Kid did it on their own.”

            “I got everyone back safely,” said (Y/N), putting their hands on their hips proudly.

            “A quick learner,” said Alastor. “Let us see what else you can do.”

            “Alright!” (Y/N) brightened.

            “Oh, great,” said Husk, throwing up his hands. “Let’s teach the kid to do more damage.”

            “I’m fine with that,” said (Y/N).

            “Excellent!” said Alastor.

            Husk groaned. They didn’t need a second Alastor, and Husk didn’t want the kid getting into trouble because Alastor was…himself. Unfortunately, what could he do? (Y/N) wanted to learn to control their magic, and Alastor seemed all-to-willing to show them how. Husk could only hope it didn’t end with (Y/N) getting hurt.

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            (Y/N) dodged Alastor’s shadows, but they twisted and grabbed the rose demon midair. (Y/N) squawked unceremoniously as they were suspended upside down in the air.

            “Ahaha!” Alastor laughed and grinned. “You still lack the instincts to use your magic and run around like a chicken with its head cut off.”

            “Yeah, yeah,” said (Y/N). “Can I be put down now?”

            “Free yourself,” said Alastor.

            (Y/N) narrowed their eyes. The challenge was set.

            Briars sprouted out of the ground and arced through the air. Roses bloomed as the vines grew. They constricted around the shadows, and as the darkness fought back, the thorns pierced them, and the shadows melted away, forced to let go of (Y/N) by their plants. (Y/N) twisted and landed on their feet on the ground.

            “Excellent! What a quick learner,” said Alastor with a grin. “Your mistakes are entertaining, but I much prefer when you aren’t hopelessly unable to learn.” He spoke brightly as if it was such a kind statement.

            “Well, I have one more thing I really want to learn,” said (Y/N).

            “Oh? Do tell,” said Alastor.

            “I need to keep a smile on my face,” said (Y/N), smiling widely.

            Alastor tilted his head. “Really?”

            “Yeah. You seem…stronger, more intimidating with it. You don’t seem upset by anyone or anything.” (Y/N) grinned. “And I want to have that strength.”

            Alastor’s grin widened and sharpened. What an ambitious demon. He had chosen well. “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.”

            “Right,” said (Y/N). They brushed the dirt off their pants and looked at the clock. Time was up since Charlie had planned some activities for the evening. “I have to go. Are you coming to tonight’s ‘rehabilitation?’ ”

            “I have errands to run,” said Alastor vaguely.

            (Y/N) nodded. They walked to the door and paused in the doorway. “Hey, Alastor?”

            “Mm?” Alastor hummed in acknowledgement.

            “Thank you.” Alastor looked at them, but before he could say anything, (Y/N) continued. “I know that you’re only teaching me to somehow help yourself, but, still, thanks. Whatever you’re trying to gain from this, it’s still helping me. I’m getting what I want, and it’s because you’re putting effort into teaching me. So, despite this not being as selfless as Charlie would want to think, thank you, Alastor.” They grinned. “And whatever you’re hoping to get from me, I won’t make it easy for you to get.” (Y/N) disappeared out the door.

            Alastor watched them go. How unusual (Y/N) was proving to be. They had correctly assumed he wanted something from them. After all, with Alastor’s current…predicament, he needed all the power he could muster, and having (Y/N) stronger meant that, if he could create a contract with them, he could use their magic for his own gain. (Y/N) saw that, and yet they decided to thank him anyways.

            It was weak. It was sentimental. It was…interesting.

            Alastor should back off from his plan since (Y/N) had seen through it. They understood what he wanted and could avoid his attempts to manipulate them. And yet, just as they were willing to keep learning, Alastor found he was just as willing to continue teaching.

            What an oddly entertaining sentiment.

Chapter Text

            (Y/N) closed their eyes and put their hands over their ears as Angel’s show-and-tell video played. It was, of course, nothing short of one of his acting scenes with more of him than (Y/N) ever wanted or needed to see.

            “Ya know, this performance won me a ‘Sex-x-x-i’ award,” said Angel proudly.

            “It’s, uh, very…honest?” Charlie averted her face.

            “Ew,” said Vaggie. “Okay, enough of that! Angel, what the fuck?”

            “What? You said it was Show n’ Tell day!” said Angel. “I’m showin’ you my best film, and I’m tellin’ you that it scored me a win over that bitch, Tiffany Titfucker.”

            “Ya know, that’s not a very convincing interrogation scene,” said Husk from the bar as he cleaned glasses.

            “Alright, dickhead, what makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin’ face?” said Angel.

            “You’re really gonna sit there and act like these scripts ain’t hot garbage?” said Husk, raising a brow.

            “Fuck you,” said Angel. “This is classy art!” He pointed at the screen on an incredibly inappropriate scene.

            Pentious covered his eyes with his head flaps, and Niffty grinned happily as she watched.

            “That’s bullshit,” said Husk. “You get drunk and bitch about them all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.” Angel rolled his eyes, and Husk decided to make a point. “That one.” He pointed at Pentious. “That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep. Princess is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everyone else’s problems ‘cept her own.”

            “What? No, I—Pfft, no, no,” denied Charlie nervously.

            Husk just continued on to Vaggie. “This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.”

            “Aargh!” Vaggie hated how accurate it was.

            “That one.” Husk moved on to (Y/N), whose flowers flinched nervously. “Is sick and tired of being thought of as some innocent kid by everyone here and might go crazy if anyone tries to put that role onto them.”

            (Y/N) smiled sheepishly. Unfortunately, they really did feel like that.

            “And Niffty.” Husk made a face. “You don’t even wanna know what her deal is.”

            Angel cackled. “You weren’t kidding. Haha, wow! Kitten’s got claws! Meow~” He grabbed Husk’s face teasingly.

            “And you!” Husk pushed Angel back. “Don’t get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are.”

            “Oh, me? Fake?” challenged Angel. “Wow. I had no idea. Guess that’s why I’m an actor. Dumbass. And—” His phone went off, and Angel’s face fell before he grabbed it. “Hold that thought.” He walked a few paces away. “Hello? Uh, yeah, I’m-I’m…” His entire attitude had changed, growing nervous and hesitant, completely unlike the usual Angel Dust the hotel dealt with. “No, no, I just, I—No, I’m not, but, uh, yeah…I’ll be right there.”

            He turned off his phone and looked back at the group. (Y/N) furrowed their brow in concern as they saw a familiarly fake smile spread across his face. They had worn that smile themself. It had weighed more than a thousand tons on their shoulders.

            “Well, uh, looks like Val needs me for an, uh, emergency shoot,” said Angel, trying to seem excited and eager.

            “Uhuh, sure,” said Husk, seeing through it.

            “You know what?” snapped Angel. “Fuck you! I don’t give a shit what a drunk ass bartender thinks a’ me! So why don’t you just crawl back to whatever cave you came out of, porn critic.” He gave Husk the middle finger and walked towards the door.

            “Angel, you can’t leave yet!” said Charlie. “We haven’t finished our exercises for the day.”

            “I’m sure you’ll manage without me,” said Angel.

            I don’t think he can say no to Valentino, thought (Y/N), frowning.

            They knew Angel had a contract with Valentino, and they saw the exhaustion in him whenever he returned to the hotel. They knew that if he could, Angel would rest more often. But he couldn’t. And (Y/N) really wished they could do something about it. After all, if there was one thing they despised more than anything else in this whole Hell and Heaven and Earth and everything, it was those that took advantage of others. The very thought summoned a murderous rage (Y/N).

            They knew what it felt like to be used and abused.

            The roses on (Y/N)’s head quivered and wilted as they felt themself on the verge of really, truly remembering (reliving) what they had gone through in life, and (Y/N)’s chest tightened.

            “There isn’t much time left for the hotel to prove itself,” said Charlie, her words drawing (Y/N) out of their mind successfully.

            “Dollface, it’s my job,” said Angel forcefully. “I know you want to fix everything, but unless you can fix my boss, there’s nothing you can do.” He slammed the door shut and was gone.

            “Uuuuugh, why is this so haaaard?” groaned Charlie, curling up in front of the door. “What am I doing wrong?”

            “I don’t think Valentino wants Angel to be redeemed, even if it’s possible,” said (Y/N), frowning.

            “But I do,” said Charlie. “And I really believe in him! But he always has to go to work and can never really commit…What do I do?”

            “Well, I mean, you’re the princess of Hell,” said Vaggie.

            “So?” said Charlie.

            “So, you don’t really use the power that comes with that, which I love about you, but maybe you can…I don’t know, command a little more authority?” suggested Vaggie, smiling encouragingly.

            “But that’s so mean!” said Charlie.

            “I don’t know much about the Vees, but I’m sure they’d deserve it,” said (Y/N), and Husk nodded in firm agreement.

            “It’s not mean, exactly,” said Vaggie, trying to get through to Charlie in a way she’d understand. “It’s, uh, aggressive kindness!”

            Wow. (Y/N) and Husk looked at each other, unimpressed by that “persuasion.”

            “Okay!” Charlie brightened, apparently having been convinced by the idea of “aggressive kindness.” “I could be so aggressively kind to Angel’s boss that I convince to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!”

            “Sure, whatever gets you there, babe,” said Vaggie, smiling at Charlie as she walked out the door happily.

            “Is killing Overlords not on the table?” murmured (Y/N).

            “No,” said Husk. “At least, not for you.”

            “Fine, fine. I’ll do it another time,” said (Y/N).

            Husk shrugged. “As long as you know you’ll win, go for it.” He didn’t care if Valentino got what was coming to him.

            “Do not encourage them to kill people!” said Vaggie.

            “It’s not people. It would be Valentino,” said Husk, and (Y/N) nodded in agreement.

            Vaggie sighed, but she couldn’t disagree.

l

            When Angel returned, (Y/N)’s anger returned full force. He was clearly exhausted and uncomfortable, and whatever he had to film, it was long and, possibly (likely), painful.

            “Eugh, I need a drink,” said Angel, slumping across the bar counter. “The hardest you can make.”

            “Hm. You look like shit,” said Husk, putting a glass down and pouring a drink.

            Angel straightened and put on his overconfident act. “Pfft. Not possible. Just a long shoot, nothin’ new.”

            “Are you alright, Angel?” asked (Y/N), frowning.

            “Of course!” said Angel, but he quickly chugged the drink Husk had made him. He slammed the glass down. “I said a strong one.”

            “Excuse me,” scoffed Husk. “Didn’t realize this was a ‘drinking to forget’ kind of night.”

            “Oh, I forgot. You’re the wise old bartender who’s seen it all!” Angel spoke confidently, but the look on his face was clearly not. “Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink.”

            “Look, if you got a problem, you’re not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle,” said Husk. “I should know, I’ve been looking there a long time.”

            “Oh, sure, and where should I look, huh?” said Angel, scoffing. He wiggled his eyebrows. “In your bedroom, maybe? Under the covers? Maybe we can go and look together.”

            “Angel, we’re actually worried,” said (Y/N), walking over. “We want to make sure you’re okay and take care of yourself.”

            “I’m fine,” snapped Angel. “I don’t need any help.”

            “Cut the act,” said Husk. “We can both see through it. You’re just lying to yourself and being fake.”

            “Call me a fake one more time, motherfuckers!” Angel snapped, leaning forward towards (Y/N) and Husk angrily.

            “Angel—” began (Y/N), reaching out slightly.

            “Just leave me alone!” snapped Angel. He slapped their hand away. “Ya know what?! Ya’re all fucking lucky to be talkin’ to me! And you—” he glared at Husk “—would be lucky to fuck me! Ya know how much I’m worth?!” He was clearly spiraling. “Ya know how many people would kill to have Angel Dust come onto them?! Fuck you!” He spun on (Y/N), who flinched back. “And you! Just leave me alone! Stop trying the nice act on me! Acting like you’re innocent and nice when you’re just as much a sinner as us! Just fucking stop!”

            (Y/N) flinched back as Angel stormed out. Their chest constricted, and they were overwhelmed as words from their past came to the surface. (Y/N) stumbled back even as Vaggie came around the corner. They could vaguely hear Vaggie asking Husk what had happened, but everything was faraway, like (Y/N) was underwater.

            (Y/N) pulled away from the group, and as the edges of their vision blurred, they stumbled away, farther into the hotel.

            Away. Need to get away.

            (Y/N) collapsed in a darkened corner of the hotel.

            “Don’t act innocent. You’re a filthy sinner, and if you don’t start obeying me, you’re going straight to Hell.”

            (Y/N) curled up, putting their hands around their knees. Unbidden, roses and briars bloomed around them, creating a protective barrier that couldn’t hide (Y/N) from the words echoing in their mind.

            “I saw you in Church. You weren’t paying attention. Can’t you do anything right? Do you want to burn for all eternity?”

            (Y/N) squeezed their eyes shut and put their hands over their ears, but nothing could block out their memories.

            “You’ve brought this on yourself. You refuse to atone for your sins, so I must deliver you from yourself.”

            (Y/N) flinched, and phantom pain blossomed on their back.

            “You are a sinner! You bring sin into this household! You must atone!”

            (Y/N) curled farther in on themself.

            I’m fine. I’m free. None of them can hurt me again. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.

            “I’m fine. They can’t hurt me. I won. I won. I won.”

            “Sinner. Filthy. Dirty.”

            “No, no, no, you were the filthy one. You hurt me.” (Y/N) murmured. “They hurt me, and I punished them.”

            “Wrong. Mistake. Abomination.”

            “I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing.”

            “You have to atone.”

            “Can’t hurt me. Can’t hurt me. Can’t hurt me.”

            (Y/N) tried to breathe as their entire body ran hot, lungs too tight, the air too stuffy.

            And then something cool wrapped around them. (Y/N) tensed, but they were too exhausted to open their eyes, too scared to see the people they were so desperately trying to block out. So they just let the comforting temperature wrap around them, settling around them. It stilled their thoughts, delivering them from their own mental hell.

            (Y/N) let out a tired breath and held themself tightly. Whatever was settling around them felt like no enemy, and (Y/N) would take any bit of comfort they could find.

            They had never gotten any before.

l

            Alastor lurked within the shadows of the hotel, gazing over (Y/N)’s small, protective barrier. He loomed above, perfectly able to act as he wished, ready as ever to drive fear into all. Instead, Alastor let the shadows rise and settle around (Y/N)’s shoulders. Their breathing calmed, and Alastor pulled back farther into the shadows, satisfied.

            He could’ve frightened them. He could’ve driven them farther into their own madness. He could’ve pushed them and their magic to the brink to see if they had the strength to survive.

            But Alastor hadn’t. He’d heard the same words he’d spoken to himself so, so long ago. And he’d done what, perhaps, a different, faint version of himself would have wanted.

            Perhaps (Y/N) and he were not as different as he assumed.

            Instantly, Alastor retreated into the shadows. He would prefer to think over that new realization on his own. It presented quite a few considerations Alastor had so far avoided in his life.

l

            Much, much later in the evening, (Y/N) braved a return to the lobby to attempt to steal a drink before retreating to their room again.

            “Hey, kid?”

            (Y/N) froze and turned. Angel was standing across from them, rubbing his arm nervously.

            “Oh. Uh, hi.”

            “Listen, kid.” Angel stepped forward. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry. For earlier. I shouldn’t’ve said what I did. I was being stupid. You’re a good kid. And even if you’re in Hell, you’re betta than most of the sinners in the Hellhole.”

            “It’s okay,” said (Y/N), shifting uneasily. “You weren’t feeling well. I’m sorry for pushing.”

            “You, uh, cared,” said Angel. “It was nice of you. So thanks.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Angel smiled slightly. “Are we okay?”

            (Y/N) nodded. “We are.” Angel wasn’t who (Y/N) had escaped. He was their friend.

            And whoever had helped them was their friend, too.

Chapter Text

            “Wow, she might actually be losing it,” remarked (Y/N), crossing their arms as they and the rest of the hotel watched Charlie with her giant board of possible angel solutions. She had clearly not slept much and was driving herself up the wall panicking about Heaven coming back for extermination sooner than ever.

            “Don’t understand why it’s not working,” murmured Charlie. “Think, Charlie, think. Think, think, think, think, think. Trust falls….every single morning…”

            “Yikes,” said Angel.

            “Charlie, sweetie?” called Vaggie, concerned.

            “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, Charlie,” muttered the princess of Hell to herself.

            “You, uh? You good?” asked Vaggie.

            “Nope, no! Not really! Haha!” said Charlie deliriously. “I’ve been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn’t working! We’ve done trust falls. We’ve tried sharing our feelings. And at this rate…”

            “Maybe it’s time—” began Vaggie.

            “No!”

            “—to ask—”

            “Don’t say it!”

            “—your dad.”

            Charlie groaned and slumped over.

            “Charlie, I know you don’t want to, but we need every advantage we can get,” said Vaggie, supporting Charlie’s exhausted body.

            “He let the extermination happen to begin with,” said Charlie, annoyed. “They just had a meeting and said, ‘Go ahead and kill everyone!’ ” She stood suddenly. “Wait, that’s it.”

            “Kill everyone?” said Vaggie.

            Angel nodded, and (Y/N) legitimately considered it for a moment.

            “No!” said Charlie. “He could get me a meeting with Heaven.”

            “Didn’t we already try that?” said Vaggie.

            “Well, yeah, with Adam, he was an asshole,” huffed Charlie. “But he isn’t in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top.”

            “God?” asked (Y/N).

            “No one sees God,” said Vaggie, shaking her head.

            “There’s sure to be some angels that will listen,” said Charlie, pulling out her phone. She began to scroll and frowned, unsure of herself.

            “What’s the holdup?” asked Husk. “You got daddy issues?” Straight to the point as always.”

            “No, we just…have never been close,” said Charlie. “After he and Mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls…sometimes, but only if he’s bored or, like, needs me to do something.”

            “Daddy issues,” confirmed Husk, pleased with himself.

            “Well, I’d like to meet the big dick in charge,” said Angel, grinning.

            “Putting that description aside, I’m curious, too,” said (Y/N). They furrowed their brow. “I heard a lot about Hell and Satan and all of that growing up, so I want to see what was wrong.”

            “What if something was right?” said Husk.

            “Then I’ll go fuck myself, I guess,” said (Y/N), shrugging and putting on a bright smile.

            Really, they’d go and curl up and cry because how were they supposed to deal with their abusers (not protectors, they’d never protected (Y/N), they hurt them, they hurt then, they hurt them) if they were right?

            “The ultimate bad boy,” giggled Niffty. “I bet he’s scary.”

            “You can do this,” said Vaggie encouragingly, squeezing Charlie’s shoulder.

            Charlie straightened and took a deep breath. “Right. Right.” She walked a few paces away and called her father, Lucifer himself.

            The group tried to draw closer to listen in to the conversation, but Vaggie pushed them back to give the father and daughter a moment to speak privately (mostly so Charlie wouldn’t get nervous and could work things out for herself). A few minutes later, Charlie put her phone back in her pocket and turned towards everyone.

            “Well!” she said, trying to seem confident. “We have an hour until he gets here.”

            “Okay, people!” barked Vaggie.

            Everyone straightened formally, ready to listen to Vaggie (especially since last time they’d tried to avoid her she’d thrown them onto a battlefield).

            “Lucifer is on his way,” said Vaggie. “So we are going to get this place presentable, and we are all going to make an amazing impression. Vamonos!”

            Everyone ran for it. Niffty cleaned the hotel from top to bottom and baked cookies. Husk cleaned the bar. Pentious helped with signs and balloons. Angel put on makeup. (Y/N) let Charlie use the roses they created as decorations. Razzle and Dazzle lifted up a sign that said “Welcome, Daddy!” Alastor did nothing, but he did come down to watch in amusement.

            Finally, with not a second to lose, the hotel was prepared, and Charlie stood by the door taking deep breaths.

            “Okay, everyone, it’s showtime!” she said. She reached for the doorknob, and the door slammed open before she could touch it.

            “Charlie!” said Lucifer excitedly.

            “Hey, Da—”

            Lucifer grabbed Charlie in a tight hug. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! Haha!”

            (Y/N) blinked. He was…short. Combining that with his white outfit and energetic mannerisms, Lucifer seemed far less threatening than the tales on Earth told of him. (Y/N) was pleasantly surprised by the turnout. That being said, they weren’t going to let down their guard yet, but they kept a smile on their face.

            “It’s good to see you, too, Dad,” said Charlie awkwardly. Lucifer let go of her, and she gestured to the hotel. “Welcome! To the Hazbin Hotel!”

            Charlie’s cat-demon-pet strolled up Lucifer and greeted him by purring. Lucifer gasped and smiled, petting the cat.

            “Oh, hewwo, Keekee,” said Lucifer. “Razzle! Dazzle!” The goat demons flew up and let Lucifer scratch their chins. “Oh, look how much you haven’t grown! Still fun-sized. You taking care of my little girl? You better be.” He laughed brightly, returning to his “carefree” (nervously delirious) attitude. “Wow, this place sure looks…uh…” He looked around at the strange guests and workers. “Yeah. Uh-huh. It’s got a lot of character.” He noticed the front desk/bar. “Oh, what in the unholy Hell is that?!”

            “Just some of the renovations we had done,” said Alastor, stepping forward with his characteristic smile. “Adds a little bit of color, don’t you think?”

            “Charlie is always talking about rainbows,” said (Y/N), smiling helpfully.

            “Precisely!” said Alastor, grinning at them in return.

            “And you are?” asked Lucifer, looking dubiously at Alastor.

            “Alastor!” Said demon popped up from the shadows behind Lucifer. He grabbed and shook Lucifer’s cane. “Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter—” Alastor pressed his fingers together “—in real life.”

            “Who is this? Who is this now?” Lucifer glared at Alastor. “Are you the bellhop?”

            Alastor laughed mirthlessly. “No! I am the host of the hotel! You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.”

            “Hmm, nope!” said Lucifer. He chuckled and nudged Charlie. “I guess that’s why Charlie called it the ‘Hazbin Hotel!’ Hahaha!” The laugh was painfully forced.

            “Ha-ha-ha!” mocked Alastor. “It was actually my idea.”

            “Ha-ha-ha!” The fake laughs were flying between Lucifer and Alastor. “Well, it’s not very clever,” sneered Lucifer.

            “Ha ha!” Alastor leaned down towards Lucifer and narrowed his eyes. “Fuck you.”

            “Okay! Okay. Anyway,” said Charlie, pushing the pair apart. Clearly, they weren’t going to get along. “Um, Dad! Look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings!”

            “Lots of intimacy,” said Angel, grinning at Husk, who rolled his eyes.

            “Keep that to yourself,” said (Y/N), smiling brightly.

            “Without Alastor,” continued Charlie, which caused Lucifer’s face to fall, “We wouldn’t have been able to pretty it up this much! Oh, and (Y/N) made all of these flowers! Isn’t it nice?”

            (Y/N) gave a little wave in acknowledgement, slightly embarrassed by the attention. They were still unused to positive attention, creating a basis of nerves in every interaction.

            “Charlie has a very unique vision,” said Alastor, strolling up to her. “I’m happy to fulfill her bizarre requests.” He put his hand on her shoulder.

            “Oh, thank you, Alastor,” said Charlie, just seeing legitimate care in Alastor instead of him trying to further annoy Lucifer.

            “Quite an impressive young lady!” said Alastor, his smile sharp and calculating as he looked at Lucifer. “We’re all very proud of her!”

            Charlie’s eyes sparkled at the praise.

            Lucifer cleared his throat angrily. “Charlie, dear, why don’t you introduce me to your other friends?”

            “Oh, yes, of course,” said Charlie, taking him to the table the others were gathered around. First, she pulled Vaggie towards Lucifer. “This is Vaggie. She’s my girlfriend!” Vaggie smiled nervously but gazed fondly at Charlie.

            “Oh ho my golly!” said Lucifer excitedly (and just as awkwardly as Charlie acted occasionally). “You like girls? So do I, we have so much in common! Put er’ here, Maggie.” Lucifer pulled Vaggie (“Maggie”) into a tight hug before letting go. They both laughed awkwardly. “She’s so pretty,” said Lucifer encouragingly.

            “Uh, lovely to meet you, uh, sir,” said Vaggie.

            “And these are Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, and (Y/N), our guests!” said Charlie proudly.

            “Your Majesty!” Pentious bowed (and subsequently slammed his head into the table).

            “Heya, Short King,” flirted Angel.

            “Hello, sir,” said (Y/N), waving from where they were letting more flowers grow around the table.

            “Husk is our bartender, and Niffty is our housekeeper!” continued Charlie.

            Husk lifted his hand in a lazy wave. “Nice to meet you.”

            Niffty ran up Lucifer’s front and grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “Hello. I clean. Heheheheh.”

            Crash!

            Before anything weirder could happen, the chandelier of the lobby fell to the ground with a resounding boom. Everyone coughed and waved the dust away.

            Lucifer laughed and grinned. “Alright, then.” He tapped his cane, and music began to play. It appeared that a song was coming.

(Lucifer) “Looks like you could use some help,
From the big boss of Hell himself,
Check out Daddy’s glowing reviews on Yelp,
‘Five stars, flawless, greater than great!’
Oh, with the punch of a pentagram,
I wap bap boom alakazam!
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb,
But you get the family rate!”
(Lucifer and Charlie) “Thanks, Dad!”

            The scene changed to Lucifer and Charlie at a restaurant with Alastor pouring them a drink.

(Lucifer) “Who needs a busboy now that you’ve got the chef!”

            Alastor was knocked backwards and became the food in the frying pan, grinning in annoyance at Lucifer.

(Chorus) “Who-oh-oh!”
(Lucifer) “Michelin tasting menu,
Free a la carte!”

            Is this just to make a point to Alastor? thought (Y/N), entertained by the song. It was quite catchy.

(Lucifer) “I’ll rig the game for you,
Because I’m the ref,
Champagne fountains, caviar mountains,
That’s just the start!”

            However, while Lucifer was good, Alastor refused to back down, and he popped up behind Lucifer to steal the show.

(Alastor) “Who’s been here since day one?
Who’s been faithful as a nun?”

            (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh. They had never expected to see Alastor in a nun’s outfit.

(Alastor) “Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun,
Your executive producer.”
(Charlie (and (Y/N) to the side)) “That’s true!”
(Alastor) “I’m your guy, your day-to-day,
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier,
Remember when I fixed that clog today?”
(Niffty) “I was stuck, thank you, sir!”

            Charlie awed as Niffty was given a hug from Alastor.

(Charlie) “Oh, you!”
(Alastor) “I’m truly honored that we’ve built such a bond.”

            He spun Charlie around.

(Charlie) “Aww!”
(Alastor) “You’re like the child that I wish that I had.”

            For a moment, as he cupped Charlie’s cheek, he saw something else, but he pushed that to the side and focused on his persuasion via song.

(Lucifer) “Uh, what?”
(Alastor) “I care for you just like a daughter I spawned.”

            He patted her on the forehead and again forced some other, dangerously sentimental, thoughts away.

(Lucifer) “Hold on now!”
(Alastor) “It’s a little funny,
You could almost call me,
‘Dad!’”

            Lucifer glared indignantly, and in a brilliant move, he began to play the fiddle in response. Alastor grinned, let a piano fall on Lucifer, and played his own piece of music. Lucifer slipped out from beneath the piano and ruined the moment with an angrily long accordion note. All-in-all, the musical back and forth was…quite a show.

            However, Alastor wasn’t one to give up, so he returned to singing, still very much in the game.

(Alastor) “They say when you’re looking for assistance,
It’s smart to pick the path of least resistance.”

            Lucifer refused to give up, either, and, when it came to being his daughter’s favorite father figure, he was willing to give his all in his performance.

(Lucifer) “Others say that in a needy hour,
There’s no substitute for pure angelic power!
Who just so happens to also be your blood.”

            Alastor shoved Lucifer out of the way.

(Alastor) “Sadly there are a times a birth parent is a dud,
They say the family you choose is better.”

            (Y/N) could get behind that.

(Lucifer) “What a bunch of losers.”
(Alastor) “Can you butt out of my song?”
(Lucifer) “Your song? I started this!”
(Alastor) “I’m singing it, I’ll finish it!”
(Lucifer) “Oh, you tacky piece of—”

            The door of the Hazbin Hotel slammed open.

(???) “It’s me! Yes, it’s me!”

            A small demon in a flapper dress grinned at everyone.

(???) “I know you were all waiting for me,
I’m here, what a gas,
Took a while, but I’m present at last!
It’s me!”

            Who? (Y/N) furrowed their brow.

(???) “Mimzzzzyyyyy!”

Chapter Text

            The entire group at the hotel stared at the demon, Mimzy, in confusion. She had broken in during a tense (silly) confrontation (song) between Lucifer and Alastor, so her arrival had caught everyone’s attention.

            “Who?” said Lucifer, blinking.

            Mimzy frowned. “Didn’t you just hear me? Why is everybody gawkin’? Is it cuz I’m adorable?”

            “Mimzy!” said Alastor, grinning widely.

            “Alastor, sweetie, doll-face,” said Mimzy. “So good to see you!”

            Aha, so they know each other, thought (Y/N).

            “How you been? Good? Good!” said Mimzy.

            Alastor and her hugged, which shocked everyone since Alastor wasn’t one for physical touch initiated by others.

            “Listen, I was in the neighborhood,” said Mimzy conversationally, “I heard you were staying in this ritzy slob factory, and I figured I’d stop by, say hi! For old time’s sake.”

            (Y/N) cocked their head. For a moment, Mimzy had seemed uncomfortable, nervous. She was definitely lying about why she was there. But she didn’t seem much of a threat, and with Lucifer and Alastor in the hotel, she couldn’t try anything, could she?

            “Of course, sweetheart,” said Alastor, clearly in control of the situation. “Everyone is welcome here!”

            “Oh, how nice!” said Charlie. “So you two know each other?”

            “Oh, yeah, we go way back,” said Mimzy. “We ran in the same circles when we were alive.” She grinned conspiratorially. “You know, this one used to frequent the club where I used to perform. He’s the only one I knew who could pound whiskey like a sailor then keep up with me on the dance floor!”

            (Y/N) smiled at the idea and chuckled. It seemed the hotel patrons and staff knew even less than they thought about the enigmatic Radio Demon.

            “Oh, quite a talent, this gal,” said Alastor. “Ho, ho, you should have seen her in her heyday.”

            “Hey, watch it, tall, dark, and creepy,” said Mimzy. “I’m still in my prime!” Her eyes landed on Lucifer, and she gasped. “Oh, my stars! Is that Lucifer?” She shoved Pentious out of the way. “Move it!” She approached Lucifer and curtsied. “Pleased to meetcha, Your Highness.” She glared at Alastor. “Alastor, you gotta warn a girl when she’s in mixed company.”

            “Charmed, I’m sure,” said Lucifer, clearly not meaning it.

            “As much as I’d love to catch up, Charlie and I have a tour to continue,” said Alastor.

            “I’m sure Charlie can handle showing me around,” said Lucifer, still grouchy about the situation with Alastor.

            “Nonsense!” Alastor popped up before Lucifer could escape with Charlie. “We started the hotel together, and we’ll show it off together. Right, Charlie?”

            “Oh, right,” said Charlie, a little nervous because of the obvious friction between Lucifer and Alastor.

            “Why don’t you let the others help you settle in,” said Alastor to Mimzy. “And I’ll be back before you know it.” He walked off with Lucifer and Charlie, and the hotel group was left with Mimzy.

            “So,” she said, grinning. “Where can a girl get a drink around here?” She sauntered up to the bar and smirked at Husk. “My, my, is that Husker? Alastor still has you slinging hooch for him, I see.” She laughed. “Classic. How ya been, furball?”

            (Y/N) narrowed their eyes. They didn’t like the way she was speaking to Husk.

            “Good until five minutes ago,” muttered Husk.

            “Oh, don’t tell me you’re not happy to see me,” teased Mimzy. “You might hurt my feelins.” She giggled.

            Husk huffed and looked away. (Y/N) walked up to the counter and leaned over.

            “Need a hand with anything?” they asked.

            “Do you want to work?” scoffed Husk.

            “Not really,” said (Y/N). “But I thought you could use a hand. Maybe you can grab me some water?”

            “Finally giving up on getting an actual drink?” chuckled Husk.

            “Can’t in this hotel as long as Charlie’s around,” grumbled (Y/N). “And I’m not exactly going to go out to random clubs and bars in Hell by myself.”

            “That’s for the best, kid,” said Husk, handing them a glass of water.

            “Hey, Niffty, whatcha’ been up to, girlie?” asked Mimzy.

            “Fighting bugs!” chirped Niffty.

            “And, uh, how’s that goin’ for you?” said Mimzy dubiously.

            “They’re winning.” Niffty grinned darkly and pulled out a carving knife. “But not for long.”

            Husk finished Mimzy’s drink as Niffty ran off and slid it to her.

            “Uhuh, thanks, pussycat,” said Mimzy, taking a drink.

            “Oh, fuck you,” said Husk.

            Now, (Y/N) knew Husk was rough around the edges with everyone, but with this level on antipathy? They decided they couldn’t trust Mimzy.

            Said demon looked at (Y/N) and frowned. “Ya know, I recognize most of the people in this hotel from one thing or another, but you…I got no clue. Who are you?”

            “I’m (Y/N). I live at the hotel,” said (Y/N).

            “You actually believe in the redemption shit?” said Mimzy, laughing.

            (Y/N) decided to take a page out of Alastor’s book and smiled widely. “I believe in getting stronger, and being here is just the right place to do so.”

            Mimzy raised a brow and chuckled in disbelief. “In a hotel with washed up bartenders and bugs?”

            “In a hotel of people I like,” said (Y/N) brightly. Their smile turned a bit sharper, an attempt to mirror the look they’d seen on so many other demons’ faces as they intimidated lesser sinners. “And respect.” (Y/N) wouldn’t stand for their friends getting insulted. These were the first people in their life they could trust in any way.

            “Geez, what a cold kid,” said Mimzy. “What happened in the years I’ve been dead, are there no parties anymore? No fun?”

            (Y/N) rolled their eyes.

            “So, uh, you and Alastor are like what?” asked Angel, walking up. “Friends?”

            “Well, that’s your word, not mine, but I think it fits.” Mimzy proudly puffed up her hair.

            Everyone exchanged dubious looks and took sips of their drinks to avoid responding.

            “Why so surprised?” huffed Mimzy.

            “Well, just didn’t know he had any of those,” said Angel, shrugging. “Nicest thing I’ve ever seen him do for another person was help (Y/N) with their magic.”

            “That was for his own entertainment because I suck,” said (Y/N) brightly.

            “Still nicer than he is to me,” grumbled Angel. “And besides, he’s still a big, creepy mystery.” He looked at Mimzy. “What’s his deal?”

            Mimzy grinned. “Well, you probably heard the stories. He appeared in Hell suddenly, making a splash quicker than anyone had ever seen. At first, people wanted to dismiss him, but, soon, overlords started goin’ missing, and not small ones, neither. We’re talkin’ heavy hitters. No one knew what happened to ‘em until these strange radio broadcasts started going out. All you could hear was screams. Every time an overlord went missing, there’d be a new voice screaming in the broadcast. That’s when Alastor revealed himself as the Radio Demon, and anyone that would mess with him…Well, let’s just say his broadcasts never lacked new voices.

            “That’s the story most people know, but underneath it all…” Mimzy brightened, shifting the mood abruptly. “He’s a total sweetie! Put on some jazz and pour a couple fingers of rye, and he becomes a kitten.” Everyone stared. “Stop with the looks,” she chuckled. “He hasn’t done any of that in a while.” She held her drink out to the bar. “Can I get another one of these?” She received no response since Husk had walked off in the middle of her speech. “Oh, what the fuck. How am I supposed to get a drink?”

            “Have you tried pouring yourself one?” said (Y/N), grinning at Angel, who snorted.

            “Hey—”

            Bam!

            The entire hotel shook, and the group tensed.

            “What the hell?” cursed Angel as his drink spilled.

            “Mimzy, we know you’re in there you lousy bitch!” shouted a man from outside.

            So she’s not the trouble, but she brought trouble, thought (Y/N) distastefully.

            The group in the lobby peered outside to see shark demons with a battering ram attempting to break down the doors.

            “Oh, shit,” said Mimzy, ducking and covering her head.

            A portal opened in the lobby, and Vaggie, Charlie, and Lucifer stepped through. Lucifer closed his portal and looked around, almost bored (and not a little disappointed).

            “Que carajo?!” cried Vaggie.

            “What’s going on?” asked Charlie.

            “I maaaaay be in trouble with some loan shark’s,” admitted Mimzy. “I may or may not have borrowed fifty grand from—”

            Bam!

            “Eep!” Mimzy jumped behind the bar to hide.

            “You better come out!” shouted the Loan Shark.

            “And I may have also stolen a car…and crashed it…into the loan shark’s girlfriend.” Mimzy coughed awkwardly and then frowned. “But that bitch had it coming!”

            Boom! Crash! Bam!

            Piles of flaming wood were cannoned through the windows of the hotel, landing all around the group.

            “My windows!” cried Niffty.

            “We’re under siege, take cover!” cried Pentious.

            “Look out!” said Vaggie, jumping aside. “What the fuck?!”

            “Shit!” (Y/N) dodged as the flames ate at the lobby and licked at them, singing the flowers atop their head. “That’s it!”

            (Y/N) raised a hand, and briars ripped out of the ground outside of the hotel. They grabbed at the loan sharks, who yelped and dodged as best they could. (Y/N) stepped onto the sill of the broken windows.

            “Go the fuck away!” they spat.

            As roses and thorns thrashed at any sharks they could grab, (Y/N) just watched as blood was spilled. They didn’t care. These people were trying to break their home. (Y/N) wasn’t letting that happen.

            “Ya see, this is exactly what I’m talking about, Charlie,” sighed Lucifer. “You build something nice, you invite people in, you offer them everything, and they just bring violence and chaos to your doorstep. It doesn’t matter how well-intentioned you are, they’re always going to disappoint you.”

            “All of you, get to a safe distance!” said Vaggie. “(Y/N), stop tearing people apart, I’ll handle it!”

            “I’ve almost got them all,” snapped (Y/N) back. These people were hurting their family. They deserved whatever they got.

            “Fucking bitch!”

            The Loan Shark in charge fired at them, and (Y/N) ducked, wincing as several of their leaves and petals burned away. They held their head and stumbled back, the vines outside crushing the men in their grips in reaction to (Y/N)’s pain and alarm.

            “(Y/N)!” called Vaggie, lifting her spear to help them.

            “Leave it to me.”

            Everyone looked at Alastor in surprise, not having expected him to step in. However, they flinched at the sinister glint in his eyes because, despite his signature smile, the look promised agony for the shark demons outside. Attacking the hotel and burning (Y/N) (as surprising as it was, the patrons and staff of the hotel had to admit that (Y/N)’s injury seemed to get Alastor intercede) had sealed the sharks’ deaths.

            “It’s time I remind everyone why I am here.”

            As another round of fire sped towards (Y/N) and the hotel, shadows ripped up to catch the fireball, smothering it in an instant as the shark demons stepped back at the display of power.

            “Oh, finally, took ya long enough!” said Mimzy.

            “A reminder to all, not to mess with the Radio Demon!”

            Green light surrounded Alastor, and shadows lifted him into the air. Several tendrils crashed out to the law of the hotel and stabbed through the remaining shark demons, brutally killing them in an instant. Alastor floated outside, shadows covering himself and pushing (Y/N) back into the hotel as he leered over the lesser sinners. He laughed evilly as their screams rang out.

            “Are you alright, kid?” said Husk, looking at (Y/N)’s head as they backed up towards the bar.

            (Y/N) felt their head and winced. Apparently, losing the flowers was a legitimate injury for them. Blood came away with their hand. “I think I need some bandages…”

            “We’ll make sure ya get some,” said Angel. He squeezed (Y/N)’s shoulder. “Thanks for helping us.”

            “I wanted them to stop,” said (Y/N), smiling a tiny bit.

            “I will devour each and every one of you!”

            Outside the hotel, Alastor grew to a giant size, looming over the terrified, suffering shark demons. He cackled as they tried to run and escape his joyful torture of them.

            “Mhm, ya see?” Lucifer shook his head as blood splattered across the ground. “What I tell ya? Charlie, sinners are violent psychopaths, hellbent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. There’s really no point in trying.”

            “Dad, stop! (Y/N) and Alastor were both defending this hotel!” snapped Charlie, unwilling to hear Lucifer belittle the people she cared about. “He might be doing it in a more…sadistic way than I’d hoped.” She cringed as Alastor swallowed a shark whole. “But they both are doing it for me! How come they have faith in me, but my own father can’t?”

            “Ooh, drama,” said Angel, pulling popcorn out of God knows where.

            Alastor finished outside and shrank down to his regular size. “Oh, I missed getting to let off steam.”

            “Oh, Alastor, what a fantastic show!” chuckled Mimzy, walking out. She clapped. “Bravo, as always! Thanks for helpin’ lil’ ol’ me outta a tough spot, you’re always such a pal.” A piece of the hotel crashed to the ground, and she jumped before chuckling sheepishly. “Sorry about the mess, but I’m sure the lil’ bug can take care of it for ya.”

            “I think you should go Mimzy. Now.” Alastor’s smile never left, but his voice was sharp, warning.

            “Oh, pff, Alastor, you’re such a kidder, you!” Mimzy laughed his words off. “You are so funny!”

            “I mean it.” Alastor cut her off. “You deliberately brought danger to this place and the people within just to have me clean up your mess. I can’t have that here.”

            “But you love takin’ care a’ me?” said Mimzy, laughing nervously. Seeing no change, she shifted tactics and scoffed. “What? You don’t actually give a shit about this tacky place and the people livin’ in it, do ya? Come on. I know you.” She attempted to tease him. “You heartless son of a bitch.”

            Alastor pushed her back with his staff. “You are welcome if you actually want to give redemption a shot. But I think we both know that’s not really your style. So you need to leave.”

            Mimzy spluttered. “Fine! Who needs ya? Have fun with ya lil’ princess and ya lil’ kid and ya lil’ hotel!”

            Alastor’s eye twitched at the surprising phrasing, but he remained as intimidating and as collected as ever.

            “See if I care!” Mimzy gave him the finger and stalked off.

            Alastor was unimpressed by her attempt to frustrate him.

            Behind him, Angel, Husk, and Pentious nodded in satisfaction that the flapper demon was leaving. Behind them, Charlie was chasing down Lucifer to talk to him due to his continuingly disappointing attitude towards the hotel. However, Alastor brushed past them all (after summoning shadows to repair the hotel) and headed towards the actual rooms of the hotel.

            Alastor glanced at his shadow as he walked. It didn’t require his words to understand what he wanted, and it pointed down the hall. Alastor melted into the shadows, following his own.

            Emerging in a hotel room, Alastor glanced around. Undoubtedly, this was (Y/N)’s room. It was fairly bare, still quite hotel-like and impersonal, but flower petals littered the floor, and roses grew in a protective curtain around the bed.

            Alastor turned away from the room to face the bathroom. (Y/N) could be heard within, and Alastor approached. He peered through the crack in the door before making any move to enter.

            (Y/N) stood within the bathroom. Frowning, they twisted awkwardly in an attempt to properly see their burn injury. They attempted to reach up and put burn cream on their head, but the roses on their head flinched and wilted in pain, causing (Y/N) to wince as well.

            At that, Alastor found himself melting through the shadows and reforming behind (Y/N). “My, oh, my, this is quite an unfortunate display.”

            (Y/N) jumped. “Alastor?”

            “Who else?” chuckled Alastor. “Oho, my, what a burn you’ve got there.”

            “The loan shark got a hit on me while I was handling some of his men,” said (Y/N), focusing on trying to reach their wound again.

            “At least your training seems to have done some good,” said Alastor approvingly.

            “Really?” (Y/N) blinked at looked at Alastor in the mirror.

            “Yes, your use of magic is improving quite well,” said Alastor. “We’ll address defensive techniques next time.”

            (Y/N) nodded, hissing as a petal fell and touched their wound. They grimaced and gingerly removed it.

            “Until then, we should take care of that,” said Alastor, gesturing his staff to the injury. “I can’t have you walking around like that. The hotel needs to keep up a good appearance.”

            He snapped his fingers, and two tendrils of shadow lifted up. They picked up the burn cream and bandages. (Y/N) watched warily as they approached by the first apply the salve to their wound. They winced, but the tendrils were gentle, and as soon as the cream had absorbed, the second tendril placed a bandage overtop, careful to avoid disturbing any other roses blooming.

            Alastor looked at the shadows’ work and nodded in satisfaction. The tendrils disappeared, and he and (Y/N) were left alone.

            “Thank you,” said (Y/N), looking at the bandaging in the mirror.

            “Nonsense, you would have gotten it done in time, but your failure wasn’t entertaining enough to let continue,” said Alastor, grinning and waving a hand.

            “No, not for that.” (Y/N) turned to face him. “For helping me with the loan sharks when they hurt me.” They shrugged. “I know it was to show off in front of Lucifer, but it helped.”

            Alastor tilted his head, still grinning. “You seem to thank me a lot for helping you when you know I’m not an altruist.”

            “I guess I do,” said (Y/N). “But I was in a shitty position.”

            Alastor lightly tapped (Y/N)’s forehead with his microphone. “I couldn’t let my protégé get too burned.” His grin widened. “Do try not to get harmed in the future.”

            (Y/N) was surprised by the warning? Concern? Whatever it was, Alastor melted into the shadows before (Y/N) could respond to his face.

            (Y/N) smiled. “I’ll try.”

            They knew the shadows were listening.

l

            Alastor emerged in his room, the shadows carrying (Y/N)’s words to him. He looked out of the window over Pentagram City. Even in the night, the lights never shut off, always shining with life (well, death) and energy.

            However, so far removed from the city proper, the hotel sat on its own. It existed in a quieter space and left Alastor with just his thoughts.

            Unfortunately for him, those thoughts were not plots or strategies that night. No, they were over weakness—sentimentality that he was showing. It was pathetic, yet it was true. Yes, he had it as under control as he could have it, but the truth was also that he was having instances of weakness.

            It all started with (Y/N). First, the child allowed him to teach them, which was good for Alastor’s schemes for power. But then they had seen his motivations and still not questioned it, instead just thanking him. Alastor hadn’t been thanked for anything in years.

            And then Alastor had found that, despite his plans going astray, he was willing to continue teaching them. Why should he give strength to someone who could become his enemy? It was a foolish idea.

            But that, apparently, wasn’t the extent of Alastor’s foolishness. He had comforted the child. He had pathetically seen himself, young and afraid and tired, in the cowering child and allowed his shadows to calm them down. He had done what a young Alastor would have wanted for (Y/N).

            And now, Alastor had not only defended them when those idiotic shark demons attacked but ensured they were healing well. Alastor was familiar with his possessiveness when it came to the souls he controlled, but this was something else.

            It was protectiveness. It was sentiment. It was weakness.

            Alastor tsked. First he found a friend in Hell (dear Rosie) and now whatever (Y/N) was? What was happening to the Radio Demon?

            This was disgraceful.

Chapter Text

Warning: Valentino is very much Valentino in this chapter, even towards the MC. It is only a few sentences, but please use your discretion for what you feel comfortable reading. The MC does not get touched or hurt or approached, but they do get talked to.

            “Oh, fuck,” groaned Angel as he nearly fell into the hotel. He looked thoroughly exhausted from his work. Valentino was making him work harder and longer every day, and Angel just wanted to crash and have the rest of eternity off to sleep.

            “You look messy! What happened to you?” said Niffty.

            “It’s who happened to me,” huffed Angel. “And the answer is everyone. Twice. Val had me working sixteen hours straight on a fucking whim. The absolute dick bag.”

            “He sucks,” agreed (Y/N) as Angel threw himself onto the couch next to them.

            Boom!

            The wall (the same wall as usual) exploded. Everyone jumped and stared, ready for a fight.

            “What the fuck is with that wall?!” said Angel.

            “What up, hoes?!” said an Australian voice, and a woman walked in through the hole in the hotel’s wall.

            Angel’s mood brightened. “Holy shit, Cherri Bomb?! Long time no see, baby!”

            “Angie, ya bitch!” said Cherri in a very friendly manner. (Y/N) decided they liked her energy, and since Angel actually seemed happy to see her, they determined their feeling was right. “You been texting me depressing shit all day, figured we could tear shit up like old times. It’s been fuckin’ forever!” She tossed a bomb to Charlie. “Here, hold this.”

            “Ah! Oh my God, oh my God!” said Charlie.

            “Nope, gimme that.” Vaggie took it and threw it out the hole. It exploded in the distance (thankfully).

            “I love seeing ya, Cherri,” said Angel. “But I’m too tired. I need to pass out.”

            Cherri grabbed him before he could leave. “Oho, you can sleep when you’re double-dead, fuckhead. Come on, what you really need is a recharge, a reinvigoration, a re—”

            “Responsible night on the town!” finished Charlie, smiling. “That is a great idea! Hi, I’m Charlie.” She shook Cherri’s hand. “That’s my wall that you just blew up. It’s so nice to meet one of Angel’s friends. Aagh, he never brings anyone around!”

            Cherri snorted, but it wasn’t totally unfriendly. “Wonder why?”

            “Yeah, me too!” Charlie was blissfully ignorant to the tease. “Anyway, Angel and everyone else have been working so hard. I think they deserve to have a little fun.”

            “Wait, ‘they?’ ” said Cherri.

            “Yeah! Hi, everyone!” called Charlie, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Angel and his friend are taking you all out for a night of fun and relaxation.”

            “I don’t really think it’s going to be relaxing,” said (Y/N), but they were interested. This was another experience they’d never had in their life, so they wanted to try something new in death.

            “Great,” huffed Cherri.

            “Don’t worry, Cherri,” said Angel. “They’re not so bad.” He grinned at (Y/N). “You’re gonna like the kid.”

            “Yeah, but I’m only here for yo—” Charlie shoved money into Cherri’s hands to cover everyone. “Ooh! Never mind! Let’s go! Come on, kid, I’m gonna make your first time out the best time.”

            “Wait, are we sure we should let (Y/N) go—” Vaggie’s (rightful) concern was cut off as the portal to Heaven opened up in the lobby and Charlie squealed.

            “Bye, everyone!” said Charlie, grabbing Vaggie and pulling her through. She couldn’t wait another second.

            (Y/N) grinned. “Finally, I can try drinking.”

            “I’m keeping my eye on you,” said Husk.

            He needed to for two reasons. One, he liked (Y/N) and didn’t want them getting hurt. Two, he was certain Alastor would torture him if anyone happened to (Y/N) (which was an odd thought but Husk didn’t have the energy to really think through that, he just knew it was true.)

            The portal to Heaven disappeared, and Pentious appeared in the lobby. He froze as he saw Cherri and straightened in an attempt to seem confident.

            “Well, if it isn’t my archnemesis!” he said. “Have you come to meet your fate in battle, Cherri Bomb?”

            “Apparently, I’m going out with Angel, and I got to drag your sorry asses along,” said Cherri.

            Pentious brightened and slithered up to Cherri. “Oh, so, you and me are going out back for fun?” He tugged on his bowtie nervously. “I…I didn’t think this would ever happen. What? What do I do? What do I wear?” He put his hand on Cherri’s shoulder, and she grabbed it.

            “Don’t fucking touch me, you munted dickhead,” said Cherri, walking off.

            Pentious just blushed, staring at the hand she’d touched.

            Wow, that’s a pair I didn’t expect, thought (Y/N), despite having only met Cherri two minutes ago.

            “Come on, ya fucks! We’re heading out!” announced Cherri.

            It was time for a new experience. ((Y/N) hoped they enjoyed this one. They wanted to make some good memories in their afterlife).

l

            “Woo! Isn’t this place the fucking best?” cheered Cherri at the bar of the club.

            (Y/N) stared at the drink in their hand and downed it. They had discovered they liked the alcohol in Hell and decided a little indulgence couldn’t hurt. (Not too much, though. They could feel a headache coming on, and the last thing they needed was to hurt their poor roses. That being said, doing something that would have made them angry made (Y/N) happy). And, hey, they were with friends, so it couldn’t be too bad. Right?

            “I’ll admit, ‘Consent’ is a good name for a sex club,” said Husk.

            Never mind, they brought me to a sex club. (Y/N) sighed. Whatever. I’ll just stay over here.

            “Niffty, dear, what are you doing?” said Pentious, staring at Niffty as she swept the nightclub floor.

            “I’m sweeping. Ugh, look how icky it is in here,” complained Niffty.

            “That’s because we’re at a club, dear,” pointed at Pentious, not unkindly.

            “Oh! I thought the hotel looked different,” said Niffty, looking around properly.

            Pentious cleared his throat and looked at Cherri. Again, he attempted to seem cool. “Ms. Bomb, I-I’d like to buy you a drink,” he stammered.

            “Why?” Cherri grinned. “Didn’t you say we’re arch-rivals?”

            “Um…uh…because I’m buying everyone a drink!” A terrible excuse, but it worked.

            Everyone in the club cheered and rushed up to the bar.

            “Thanks, Sir Pentious!” said (Y/N).

            “Are you seriously into this, kid?” said Husk, raising a brow.

            “This tastes good,” said (Y/N), lifting their refilled glass.

            Husk sighed. “Vaggie and Charlie are gonna hate this.”

            “I did worse with the loan sharks,” they chirped.

            Husk gave another, long-suffering sigh.

            “I need a drink after today,” said Angel, sitting down beside them all tiredly. “You know, Val, he’s into this waterboarding shit now, I don’t know, it’s a kink.”

            “Sounds like torture,” said (Y/N).

            “It’s exhausting,” agreed Angel.

            “No, I meant literally.”

            “Angel, enough with the Val talk. He already ruined your day,” said Cherri. She squeezed Angel’s shoulder. “Don’t let him ruin your night, too.” She pulled out a few pills from her pocket. “Here, take one of these and you won’t be worrying about nothin’.”

            (Y/N) frowned. They weren’t certain that was the answer.

            “Here we go,” murmured Husk, rolling his eyes.

            “Oh, look, the drunk and the kid are judging us,” huffed Cherri.

            “I ain’t the one trying to get into Heaven,” said Husk. He looked at Angel. “Look, you want to fuck up all your progress? Be my guest.” He huffed, and his ears flattened.

            “I just don’t want you to feel worse about yourself after you come down,” said (Y/N). They knew Cherri was just doing what Cherri thought Angel wanted, but they wanted to make sure Angel was alright.

            “Buzzkills,” said Cherri. “Come on, Angie, let’s get fucked up! It’s been too long.”

            “I, uh, I don’t know.” Angel didn’t want to disappoint Husk or any of his other friends. And…they had a point. “It’s been a long night, and I don’t need to go too wild.”

            Husk smiled, not a little proudly, and took a sip of his drink. He kept an eye on (Y/N) in case they started having too much. He was a hopeless alcoholic, but he wasn’t letting the kid spiral into that.

            “Come on, bitch,” said Cherri encouragingly. “If you’ve really been working that hard, you deserve a little R and R, and some THC, or maybe PCP with DMT. Aw, fuck it, let’s see where the night takes us, huh?”

            “I…I guess,” said Angel, shrugging noncommittedly.

            “Cherri, I bought you a shot!” said Pentious, having finally gotten to paying for her.

            Cherri frowned at him, and Pentious panicked.

            “B-Because I bought everyone another shot! Hooray!” said Pentious.

            Angel downed a shot. “Aah…fuck it! Let’s do it!” He grinned at Cherri.

            Husk rolled his eyes. Suddenly, this night wasn’t that fun to him.

            Or (Y/N). “Be careful, Angel.”

            “He’s done it before!” said Cherri optimistically.

            “Yeah, that’s why I’m saying it,” muttered (Y/N), watching as Cherri and Angel grabbed another drink.

            The drinks kept rolling. ((Y/N) had decided to stop as soon as Cherri and Angel got going in case they needed help with anything. Yeah, pissing off the spirits of the dead…people-(Y/N)-didn’t-like-to think-about was great and all by drinking, but they weren’t going to just let their friends wander around).

            “Round twelve, motherfuckers!” cheered Cherri. “Heels are comin’ off!”

            “Oh, yeah, keep ‘em comin’!” said Angel. “Come on, right here, right to daddy!”

            “Oh, it’s wonderful to have friends!” said Pentious, laughing wildly (he was drunk, but he was still drinking to keep up and impress Cherri).

            “Everything’s spinny,” said Niffty, grinning as she tried to reach for another shot.

            “Ha, I think you’re done, tiny,” said Angel, lifting the shot away from her.

            “No! Gimme, gimme, gimme!” she pouted.

            “Oh, come on, bitch, she can handle a little more,” said Cherri.

            “She’s ten pounds and tiny,” said (Y/N). “And we don’t need her any more unhinged than normal.”

            “Shit, where’d she go?” said Angel, looking around. Niffty had made a run for it.

            “I’ll help you find her,” said (Y/N), standing. Husk could look after Pentious.

            It didn’t take a moment to spot Niffty, cleaning the nightclub by collecting everyone’s drinks in a garbage bag. The patrons were not pleased with it and growing restless.

            “Dirty, dirty, make it clean!” she said maniacally.

            “Dammit, Niffty,” said Angel.

            (Y/N) picked Niffty up before she could do more while Angel tried to placate the angry men.

            “Sorry, fellas, here, next one’s on me.” He put money down on the table and smiled while they began to fight.

            “Shit, Niffty, stop—Damn!” Niffty, seeing a supply closet, had squirmed out of (Y/N)’s hold and ran for the cleaning supplies within.

            “Shit, shit,” cursed Angel.

            “Angie, the fuck are you doin’?” asked Cherri, stepping in front while Niffty collected bleach and chlorine behind her. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, not playing nanny. Roses over here seem to has that down.”

            (Y/N) gave her the middle finger (playfully) while trying to keep an eye on Niffty.

            “Look, neither of ‘em are used to this scene,” said Angel. “I just don’t want ‘em to end up in the gutter like I used to.”

            (Y/N) looked at Angel. That was surprisingly heartfelt for him. Yes, he was always deep down a good person, but he usually hid it behind his hypersexuality and acting. This was actual care and honesty. (Y/N) nearly smiled. It was heartwarming and one of the reasons they really liked Angel.

            Not completely getting the idea, Cherri shrugged. “Whatever, nerd. Just catch up when you’re done.” She walked away.

            Angel grabbed Niffty from the supply closet. “Stop, you can’t take that.”

            (Y/N) put the chlorine and bleach away. “It’s not ours.” And you might poison people to clean them.

            Stressed and frustrated, Angel huffed. “God, Niff, why are you bein’ such a mess?”

            Niffty’s eyes widened. “I’m the mess?”

            “Oh, dear,” said (Y/N).

            Niffty wailed, and tears poured from her eye.

            “Oh, oh, shit!” said Angel, realizing he’d messed up. “Hey, hey, hey, calm down.”

            “You’re not a mess, Niffty,” said (Y/N), reaching up as best they could to pat Niffty’s back. “We’re all just being, uh, silly right now.”

            “Right, right,” said Angel, nodding furiously. “You’re not a mess. It’s fine, sssh. You, uh, wanna play with the kitty?” He hugged her, and (Y/N) patted her back.

            Niffty’s sobs subsided, and she hiccupped. “Yeah.”

            Angel and (Y/N) didn’t waste time putting Niffty back with Husk. She sat on his head, petting his fur, and Husk stared up.

            “The fuck is this?” said Husk.

            “She’s wasted,” said Angel, sighing.

            “Just go with it unless you want her to start crying or pouring bleach drinks for you,” said (Y/N) cheerfully.

            Husk huffed. “Fine, fine, whatever.” It wasn’t like he could stop Niffty now, and no one really wanted to see what angering her could do.

            “Aaah…” Pentious fell over from his…well, he’d lost count, but somewhere near his twentieth shot. “Hey, wow.” He looked at Cherri, hauled himself up, and slithered over to her.

            “Oh, boy, he’s got his confidence again,” said (Y/N). “Wonder what’ll go wrong this time.”

            “Maybe nothing will,” said Husk.

            He and (Y/N) exchanged a look and nearly burst out laughing. They both knew that poor Pentious was still too insecure to fully follow through if Cherri questioned anything.

            “Hey, so…I see the club has a sex room,” said Pentious. “So, I was thinking, maybe you’d want to, uhm…do a sex with me?”

            “Yikes, points for confidence, but minus several hundred for style,” said (Y/N).

            “I’m sorry, why would we have sex?” said Cherri, smirking.

            “Uh, uh, uhm…” Pentious shifted nervously.

            “Here it comes,” said Husk.

            “Because I’m having sex with everyone here!” declared Pentious.

            “Wow, he’s really crashing and burning on this one,” said (Y/N), almost impressed by Pentious’s ability to get himself into trouble (everyone was cheering and far too excited for Pentious to be free for quite a while). Sure enough, several people grabbed Pentious, and he was carried away for a long night into one of the sex rooms.

            Cherri laughed and walked back to the group. “You know, we can do this fucking shit every fucking night, Angie. You don’t have to spend all your off hours ‘working on yourself,’ you little bitch.”

            “The hotel isn’t his problem,” said Husk, holding Niffty over his shoulder. “It’s—”

            “Valentino,” said Angel angrily.

            “Exactly,” said Husk, and (Y/N) nodded fervently.

            “Yeah, that guy is a piece of shit,” said (Y/N).

            “No,” said Angel. He pointed to a side lounge. “Valentino.”

            The moth was demon was there, in the club. He lay back on a couch, two demons curled up next to him as he smoked and crooned proudly about himself. He smirked, clearly at home and in control at the club.

            (Y/N) had seen pictures of him (unfortunately) around Hell, but seeing him in person made them dislike him all the more. He reminded them of the men they’d seen on Earth who only looked at others as pawns, as objects to be used and thrown away. Disgusted, (Y/N) narrowed their eyes.

            “Yeah, I come here all the time. They know me,” said Valentino to the two demons currently with him. He smirked at one. “You’re gorgeous. Do you need a job? How many dicks can you suck? I could make you a star.”

            Angel shivered as Valentino spoke and looked at his friends. “Let’s get the fuck outta here. Ok, ok.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened. “Niffty’s gone.”

            Husk looked at his shoulder, and sure enough, the bug demon had disappeared. “Well, fuck.”

            “Shit, Niffty,” cursed (Y/N), spotting her running towards the lounge Valentino was sitting in.

            They moved as fast as they could, grabbing Niffty before she could get too close. Unfortunately (but when was the hotel’s luck ever good?), a clubber dancing bumped into (Y/N), and they and Niffty fell forward into the empty space in front of Valentino’s lounge.

            “Fuck, fuck!” Angel reached down and grabbed (Y/N) and Niffty, but it was too late, and Valentino had noticed him.

            “Holy shit, Angel Dust?” said Valentino. “What are you doing here, baby? You didn’t get enough dick today?”

            (Y/N) was disgusted just by his voice, and when Angel held Niffty behind him and pushed (Y/N) back with his other pair of arms, they didn’t resist at all.

            Valentino leaned forward, leering down at Angel, Niffty, and (Y/N). “Who are these chiquitas? You bringing me fresh meat?”

            (Y/N) felt bile rise in their throat, and they inched farther behind Angel.

            Niffty, instead, tried to lunge and bite Valentino, who instantly jerked back. “I just want a taste,” she said, grinning.

            “Eh, weird, but there’s a kink for that, I’m sure,” said Valentino. He tilted his head and regarded (Y/N) next, and they fought back a shudder, refusing to show weakness in front of him. “And that one looks sweet. I know a ton of clients with a thing for that~. A little young, but after a little time in Hell, eh, they’re close enough~”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and their stomach twisted uncomfortably at the implications of that statement. Angel protectively pushed them back, stood up, and glared at Valentino.

            “Fuck off, Val,” he snapped.

            “Excuse me?” said Valentino, narrowing his eyes.

            “I said fuck off!” shouted Angel.

            The club went silent, and everyone stared in shock at Angel.

            “I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain’t fucking with any of my friends!” said Angel, hands curled into fists.

            Valentino stood, towering over everyone. “You forget who you’re talking to?” He waved his cigarette, and the smoke collected into a chain. It wrapped around Angel’s wrist and pulled him to Valentino. “I own you!”

            Angel’s face fell, but his anger welled up again, and he glared, refusing to back down. “Yeah, you do, in the studio, and you can do anything you want to me there, just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want. So once again, fuck off!”

            Valentino raised his hand and swung at Angel.

            Snap!

            A briar wrapped around Valentino’s wrist. The thorns sunk into his skin, and he gritted his teeth at the sudden pain. His eyes narrowed, and he looked at where the vine came from. Everyone was silent and turned their gaze on (Y/N), whose hand was lifted. They had summoned the vine.

            “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” hissed Valentino, and the hotel gang’s eyes widened as (Y/N) was faced with Valentino’s complete fury.

            “Telling you to fuck off like Angel did,” said (Y/N), refusing to cower.

            Valentino’s eyes seemed to glow in the dim lights of the club. “You’re making quite the enemy, you fucking brat.”

            “I certainly don’t want you as a friend,” sneered (Y/N), letting the vine tighten around Valentino’s wrist.

            Valentino gritted his teeth and ripped it away with another hand. Standing at his full height, he glared at Angel. “Enjoy your night, bitch. I’m going to enjoy making you pay for it tomorrow.” He looked back at (Y/N). “And you…You better be watch your fucking back. You’re going to pay for that.” He turned, and his red wings/cloak swept around with him as he went back to his lounge, fuming.

            “Fucking dickhead,” muttered Cherri.

            “Fucking hell, kid, if he hadn’t been at the club and not been able to risk destroying it, he could’ve tried to kill you,” said Husk, looking at (Y/N).

            They crossed their arms. “I wasn’t going to let him hurt Angel. Not when he’s here with us. Plus he made me feel fucking gross.”

            Angel looked at (Y/N). “He deserved it. Only wish I could’ve been the one to hurt him.” And he wished he could’ve kept Valentino from speaking like that about (Y/N), but he knew (Y/N) had already seen that.

            “Maybe one day you will,” said (Y/N).

            “I hope so,” said Angel. His shoulders heaved as the adrenaline ran out. “Let’s go.”

            Husk patted his back. “Proud of you.”

            Angel smiled. “Thanks.”

            “And you, too, kid, even if it was fucking stupid,” said Husk. “Valentino has got a lot of pull.”

            “I’ve lived under enough people’s thumbs,” said (Y/N), their gaze darkening. “I’m not doing it anymore.”

            Angel and Husk exchanged a look but decided not to ask (Y/N) what that meant. They looked upset enough.

l

            “What have you done to Niffty?” said Alastor as the group returned to the hotel. He was grinning at all of their appearances.

            Niffty was holding her head as Husk carried her, Angel Dust was ready to pass out at this point, Pentious was miserable since he hadn’t gotten a chance to “do the sex” with Cherri, and (Y/N)’s anger had worn off to disgust at their experience with Valentino.

            “She drank too much,” said Angel, throwing himself down on the couch. “Don’t wake me. I’m sleeping here forever.”

            “Move over,” said Husk, putting Niffty down to rest.

            “My, my, I thought Charlie had instructed you to have a good time,” tutted Alastor in amusement.

            “We did until Valentino showed up,” groaned Angel. “The dick tried to get Niffty and (Y/N) to work for him.”

            Husk shivered as Alastor’s grin widened but turned sharp and deadly.

            “Did he now?” said Alastor.

            “And then the creep tried to hit Angel!” said (Y/N) angrily.

            “And the kid stupidly made Valentino angry by hurting him with their thorns,” said Husk. “He threatened them.” Husk was proud of them for interceding when Angel had nearly gotten hurt, but he was worried about what Valentino would do now that he knew their face and disliked them.

            “He deserved it,” said (Y/N) sourly.

            “Hell yeah,” said Angel. “He was being a fucking creep.” His friends were off limits, and (Y/N) was seventeen. Not eighteen. Not an adult. Nothing like that. Valentino was a fucking monster.

            “Well, if you have any further trouble with that lecherous demon, I’m sure a quick conversation with me will put an end to it,” said Alastor, his grin dangerously wide even as he tapped (Y/N) on the forehead with his staff with more fondness than any of the demons present were familiar with him expressing.

            “I hope I never see him again,” grumbled (Y/N), completely oblivious to how protective Alastor’s words were.

            The Radio Demon, however, was. Ah, well. It was the truth. He wouldn’t have such a disgusting demon getting near his protégé.

Chapter Text

            The portal to Heaven opened up again, and everyone looked at it expectantly. Charlie and Vaggie stepped through, one after the other. Instantly, everyone frowned. Charlie was refusing to look at Vaggie, and Vaggie looked uncomfortable and gazed at Charlie sorrowfully.

            “What the fuck happened you two?” asked Angel, as tactless as ever.

            “The, uh, meeting with Heaven didn’t go well,” said Vaggie quietly.

            “What?” said Husk, frowning.

            Charlie crossed her arms, looking down. “The extermination is still coming, and Adam is coming for the hotel first.”

            “He’s what?” said (Y/N), blinking.

            “And I just discovered I’ve been lied to,” said Charlie sadly.

            “Charlie—” Vaggie reached out.

            “You should have told me!” said Charlie.

            “Uh oh,” said Angel, looking between them.

            “I wasn’t sure how to,” said Vaggie.

            “You were an exorcist!” said Charlie. She turned away. “And you didn’t say anything to me.” She ran up the stairs before anything else could be said.

            Vaggie looked down sadly before glancing up. She cringed as she felt the weight of everyone’s eyes on her.

            “You were an exorcist?” said Husk, narrowing his eyes.

            “I was,” admitted Vaggie. “But I…I stopped. I couldn’t hurt someone, and I was punished for it.” She touched her missing eye for a moment. “I don’t regret it, though. The exorcists…they’re in the wrong.” She looked at the group. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone. I wasn’t sure how. But I swear, I’m here to protect you and help you. You’re my friends.”

            “…Okay.” (Y/N) nodded.

            “Okay?” repeated Vaggie.

            “I believe you. I don’t think you’d still be here if you didn’t really believe in Charlie and the hotel,” said (Y/N). “So I believe that you know you were in the wrong as an exorcist.”

            Husk shrugged and crossed his arms. “You’re intense and mean as fuck sometimes, but you’re not that bad.”

            “I agree!” said Pentious.

            “I guess you’re fine, toots,” said Angel. “And who hasn’t done some bad stuff? We’re in Hell for a reason.”

            Vaggie smiled slightly. She was still accepted.

            “So, like, where are your wings?” Niffty went straight to her own curiosity.

            Vaggie deadpanned. “Niffty, I don’t have—”

            “Did you ever think maybe she’s sensitive about her lack of wings, just like her lack of tits?” snickered Angel. He was right back to making fun of Vaggie.

            “Yeah. Where are your tits?” said Niffty, attempting to look down Vaggie’s shirt.

            Vaggie sighed, back to being annoyed by everyone. “Any other questions?”

            “I got one.” Husk had settled in a chair with a drink. “How come every time Charlie talks to Heaven we get in deeper and deeper shit?”

            “It’s not her fault,” said Vaggie. “Angels are just—”

            “Jerks?” suggested (Y/N).

            “—difficult,” said Vaggie. “But Charlie’s trying her best.”

            “That’s turning out real well right now,” muttered Husk.

            “And what is Miss Fearless Leader doing? Is she running away from the situation? Should we be doing that?” said Angel. “Or is it time for another ‘doomed-to-fail’ plan?”

            “She’s coming up with something, I’m sure,” said Vaggie. She frowned. “In our room. Alone.”

            No one noticed Alastor melt into the shadows.

            “What could she possibly be coming up with this time?” said Husk. “The exorcists are coming sooner than ever. They’re coming for us. There is no way to fix this.”

            “I’m sure there is,” said Vaggie. “We just haven’t found it yet.”

            “I have a question,” said (Y/N).

            “What?” said Angel.

            “Does no one ever fight the angels?” they asked, twirling a vine around their finger.

            “Angels can’t be harmed. They can give us our final deaths, and we can’t do shit to them,” said Angel, rolling his eyes.

            (Y/N) frowned. “So we’re just supposed to sit here and die?”

            “That’s what Heaven wants,” growled Husk.

            “That’s super shitty,” said (Y/N).

            “Life is shitty,” said Angel. “And the afterlife.”

            “At leassst our sssituation can’t get any worssse,” said Pentious.

            On cue, a green light enveloped the entire hotel. Voodoo symbols glowed on the roof, and magical energy hummed in the air, ominous and foreboding.

            “No, no!” shouted Vaggie worriedly, running upstairs towards her and Charlie’s room.

            (Y/N) didn’t waste a second and ran up after her, determined to understand what was going on. They arrived at the hotel room a moment after Vaggie. The green light had subsided, and Alastor was walking out with a self-satisfied grin.

            “Ah, (Y/N), perfect timing,” said Alastor. “You and I are running an errand with Charlie.”

            “What happened in there?” asked (Y/N), frowning.

            “Just a little deal-making,” said Alastor cheerfully. He tapped (Y/N)’s head with his cane lightly. “Now turn that frown upside-down. We’re never fully dressed without a smile, remember?”

            “Right, right,” said (Y/N), putting on a smile.

            “Good,” said Alastor, leading the way downstairs.

            “What errand are we running?” asked (Y/N).

            “Exorcists can be killed with angelic weapons,” said Alastor.

            I knew there had to be a way to fight back, thought (Y/N).

            “We need numbers to fight, so that’s what we’re going to get,” said Alastor. His grin widened and became genuine. “We’re visiting an old friend of mine.”

            (Y/N) was about to ask if this friend would cause trouble like Mimzy, but Charlie’s voice cut through, first.

            “We have a job to do.”

            Alastor and (Y/N) turned to see Charlie emerging from her room.

            She looked back at Vaggie. “You with us?” Charlie didn’t wait for an answer and turned away. “Are you ready, Alastor?”

            “Of course,” said Alastor. “And (Y/N) is coming with us.” He neglected to mention he had decided they were.

            “Let’s go,” said Charlie, nodding firmly.

            It was time to start the preparations for one of the biggest fights of their afterlives.

l

            (Y/N) glanced at the sign saying “Cannibal Town” as they walked with Charlie and Alastor in. They really shouldn’t be surprised, it was Hell, but they learned and saw new things every day in the afterlife.

            Speaking of learning new things, (Y/N) was learning about Charlie’s current relationship issues as she rambled.

            “Three years,” groaned Charlie. “Three years I’ve been sharing my life with her. And I tell her everything. My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits. What fucking deodorant I like. And she keeps something like this from me. Why would she lie for so long? Does she think I wouldn’t accept her? What about me, me, says un-understanding…misunderstanding? Disunder—wait, where are we?”

            “Cannibal Town!” said Alastor brightly. “There’s a friend of mine I think you two should meet.” He linked arms with Charlie and (Y/N) and escorted them towards an emporium.

            “In Cannibal Town? But it’s…” Charlie looked around and watched everyone going about their day with more decorum than many other places in the Pride Ring. “It’s…surprisingly nice here.”

            “I like how calm it is,” said (Y/N). Compared to so many other places, it really was nice.

            “Isn’t it, though?” agreed Alastor. “And it’s all thanks to a very special someone.” He pushed the doors of the emporium open, and the three stepped inside.

            “Well, who hasn’t thought about eating their first husband?” A charmingly dressed demon with skeletal features laughed lightly. “I certainly would have if he didn’t taste so bad!” She smiled at her customer. “I tell you what. You bring old tall, dark, and armless to me, and I’ll straighten them right out, okay, sweetie? Now, here’s my card, and—” She noticed Alastor. “Oh my stars. Do my eyes deceive me?” She smiled with genuine joy.

            Alastor waved, and (Y/N) noticed that he seemed truly pleased to see her.

            “Alastor? Alastor!” The woman ran up. “Where have you been?” She grabbed Alastor’s shoulders, and he smiled as she spun him around affectionately. “These halls really lost some of their sparkle without your lively presence and—” She noticed Charlie looking around. “Oh. Who’s this you brought with you? Come now, Alastor, she’s much to young for you,” she teased before laughing. “Oh, I’m just kidding. I know you’re an ace in the hole.”

            “A what now?” said Alastor, completely clueless.

            (Y/N) perked up. Alastor was asexual, like they were. That was…nice.

            The demoness woman saw them behind Alastor, and her smile widened. “And you brought another friend? Alastor, you’ve been so sociable!” She grinned at (Y/N). “You’re adorable! Look at those roses—can I touch?” she asked.

            “Uh, sure?” said (Y/N).

            The demoness gently traced a rose on (Y/N)’s head, and (Y/N) felt a smile appear on their face. She was soft and kind. “How sweet! Oh, I love roses.”

            (Y/N) really liked her energy. She felt comfortable to be around, calm and warm.

            “But where are your manners, Mister?” said the woman, putting her hands on her hips and looking at Alastor. “Introduce us, why don’t you?”

            “Ah, yes, Charlie, (Y/N), this is Rosie,” announced Alastor. “The most darling, delightful, and dangerous Overlord this side of the pentagram!”

            Rosie curtsied. “Oh, always such a charmer.”

            “And, Rosie, it’s my pleasure to introduce you first to Princess Charlie Morningstar—” Alastor pushed her forward “—daughter of Lucifer and heir to the throne of Hell!”

            “How do you do?” said Charlie nervously.

            “Well, well, isn’t this a regal surprise?” said Rosie, smiling. “And what about the little rose demon?”

            “This is (Y/N),” said Alastor. “My protégé.”

            “Hi,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “A protégé?” Rosie raised a brow, running through all of her thoughts and opinions on that before smiling. “How nice! Alastor needs to make more friends. Now, come in, come in.” She pulled (Y/N) and Charlie farther into the emporium. “Can I offer you something to eat? I’m sure I have a leg around here or something. Oh, what am I thinking, that’s too heavy. How about something lighter on the stomach? How about some nice pinky fingers?”

            “Um, no, no. Thank you, though,” said Charlie, staring at the pinky fingers.

            “I’m alright, thank you,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Oh, look at you two, so polite!” Rosie patted (Y/N) and Charlie on the head. “Alastor, you could learn a thing or two.” She pulled (Y/N) and Charlie to a sitting room. “Well, sit down, sit down. Tell Auntie Rosie what she can do for you.” Charlie sat down like a client, but before any business, Rosie grinned at Alastor. “You know, Alastor, I got a primo connect on a guy with about eight blocks of territory and not enough goons to run it. Prime pickings for a deal to be made.”

            “I appreciate the offer, but we’re here on business of another kind,” said Alastor, gesturing to Charlie.

            “Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” said Rosie. She picked up her teacup. “I’m a very busy woman.”

            “Well, as you know…” Charlie cleared her throat and broke down into panic. “The extermination is coming early. It’ll be here in a month. And they’re coming for my hotel and my friends first. And I-I-I—”

            “We need your help,” said (Y/N).

            “Your cannibals’ help, at least, to fend off the attack,” added Alastor.

            “Wow, when you ask a favor, you don’t start small, do you, Your Highness?” said Rosie. Charlie’s face fell, and Rosie smiled comfortingly. “Oh, now, don’t fret. I didn’t say I wouldn’t help, but I assume there’s more to this plan than a bunch of unarmed cannibals.”

            “Oh, your people will be far from helpless when we’re done with them,” said Alastor. His grin sharpened. “And by the end, they will be able to eat their fill.”

            “Well, in that case, sure. Why not?” chirped Rosie.

            “Really?” said Charlie, eyes wide.

            “Thank you,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “What can I say? I like your moxie, girl, and you’re just so sweet, darling,” said Rosie, smiling at Charlie and (Y/N). She grinned at Alastor, and the genuine friendship between the two was palpable. “And old Alastor has never done me wrong before.”

            “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” said Charlie.

            “Yes, thanks,” agreed (Y/N), smiling. They might have a chance as long as they got the cannibals completely on their side and armed them.

            (Y/N) had a chance to keep their family.

Chapter Text

            Rosie lifted a megaphone and marched right outside to give Cannibal Town her announcement. She had Charlie and (Y/N) under her arms and was quite pleased to be bringing her guests around her territory. Alastor walked behind, pleased with how his plans were turning out.

            “Cannibals and cannibettes!” called Rosie. “Assemble in the square!” She looked at Charlie. “Now, darling, you know I would do anything, anything for my clients, but I can’t exactly command all of Cannibal Town to follow someone else into battle.”

            At least she’s respectful, thought (Y/N).

            “Now, don’t get me wrong, they love carnage and bloodshed, but to get this group in line, you got to win ‘em over.” She spoke through her megaphone again as they arrived at the square. “Settle in!” The crowd had gathered. “Settle in! Important meeting.”

            Charlie cringed. “But how do I—”

            “With sparkle! Razzmatazz!” declared Rosie, and (Y/N) decided they liked her even more now. “And that oh-so-appealing moxie of yours.”

            “Shouldn’t be a problem!” said Alastor. He grinned at Charlie. “It’s not like you’ve ever failed to inspire before.”

            “You can do it, Charlie,” said (Y/N) encouragingly as they walked onto the dais.

            Charlie groaned anxiously.

            “But fair warning, this group sticks together,” said Rosie. “So in order to convince any of them, you’ll have to convince all of them.”

            “Yikes,” said (Y/N).

            Rosie huffed. “And there’s one in particular—”

            “Ugh, Susan,” said Alastor, rolling his eyes.

            “Susan,” agreed Rosie. “Who’s a bit of an, uh…” She considered.

            “Ornery old bitch?” suggested Alastor cheerfully.

            “That!” said Rosie. She leaned down to Charlie. “She’s tough, but win her over and the rest will be easy as pie.”

            “You’ve got this,” said (Y/N), giving Charlie a thumbs-up.

            “Ready?” said Rosie.

            “I guess…” said Charlie.

            “Everyone, we have a very special, very royal guest this evening!” announced Rosie. “Please put your bloody hands together for Princess Charlie!”

            She waved awkwardly from the microphone.

            Instantly, a cranky voice rang out. “Boo! Bring Rosie back!” The crowd parted to reveal an old cannibal in furs waving a walking stick around.

            “Susan?” said (Y/N), looking at Alastor and Rosie.

            “Susan,” they said simultaneously.

            Charlie coughed and accidentally hit the microphone. The feedback squealed, and the crowd cringed.

            “Sorry! Uh, okay,” said Charlie, stumbling over her words. “Uh, my name’s Charlie, and—”

            “Boo!” heckled Susan.

            “Well, I run this hotel with my partn—”

            “Get off the stage you blue-blood bitch!”

            “—well, someone, and—”

            “Boo!”

            “Wait, let me start over.”

            “We don’t give a shit about some hotel.”

            “Angels are coming to kill us all, and we need help defending our realm.”

            “Leave before I eat those big-ass eyes of yours!”

            “So, we, uh, we need your help—”

            “Boo! Get off.”

            This really isn’t going well, thought (Y/N), wincing at how awkward the situation was.

            “With your assistance, we can make a stand for—” tried Charlie.

            “Where’s the showmanship?” sneered Susan.

            “I…I have a dream!” Charlie tried to sing.

            “Where all the finesse? Fucking mediocre.”

            “Fuck you! You old bitch!” Charlie snapped and gave Susan the finger.

            The crowd gasped.

            “Okay!” Rosie rushed up to salvage the situation. She took Charlie by the shoulders and guided her away. “We’ll be back after a brief intermission.”

            “Well, I think that went well,” said Alastor, grinning.

            “For you, yeah, because you got entertainment,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “Precisely!” said Alastor.

            “Do you think Charlie can convince them all to follow her?” said (Y/N), looking out over the crowd of cannibals.

            “If she can entertain them enough,” said Alastor. “And Charlie is always quite amusing.”

            “I hope it works. I think if we have numbers, we have a chance against the angels.” (Y/N) narrowed their eyes. “And I really want a chance to fight the angels. I don’t like them.”

            “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of chances to kill them to your hearts content,” said Alastor, grinning widely. “Just make sure to practice defense techniques with your magic. We can’t have you getting killed, can we?”

            “I’d rather not,” laughed (Y/N), and Alastor smiled. (Y/N) looked at him. “And make sure to take care of yourself, too.”

            Alastor laughed. “I am the Radio Demon. It will take more than some angels to harm me.”

            “You’re strong, yeah,” said (Y/N). “But, still, I don’t want you to die.”

            Alastor’s smile froze, and he cocked his head. Instead of getting a reply, though, Rosie and Charlie returned to the square before more could be said.

            “You can do this,” said Rosie gently.

            Charlie looked at her nervously. Alastor held out his microphone, and Charlie’s eyes widened. (Y/N) nodded encouragingly, and Charlie squared her shoulders, holding the staff in front of her. She took a deep breath and began to sing.

(Charlie) “Have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it?

            “You mean like human flesh?” piped up Susan.

            “Eugh, sort of,” said Charlie, smiling awkwardly.

(Charlie) “It’s a feeling like a rumbling in your gut that you could finally be faced with a billion needy faces,
I guess what I mean to say is
For the first time in my life, I might have to be ready for this.”

            She glanced at the others. Rosie clapped and smiled, Alastor gave a thumbs-up, and (Y/N) nodded and grinned. Charlie’s confidence surged.

(Charlie) “Ready to be the one who’s leading from the front,
Gotta come into my own,
Gotta come into my throne~
Gotta take charge and defend my only home,
And although I kinda feel unsteady,
Now I need to be ready for this.”

            She stepped down from the dais and walked among the people of Cannibal Town.

(Charlie) “Have you ever felt like you’re willing to die to save the people of your city?”

            “By ‘die to do’ you mean use my teeth to rip flesh apart?” asked Susan.

            “That’s a start!” said Charlie, deciding to let Susan have her fun.

(Charlie) “’Cause right now we need a leader,
And it seems to me that
Destiny has picked me to be that,
If you’ll permit me.
So who’s with me?”

            She spun around and grinned.

(Charlie) “Wouldn’t it be super to see more of Hell?
Join up now if you like travel,
Come on boys hope in the saddle,
Lotta sights to see en route to my hotel,
Not to mention the camaraderie,
Yes, siree, you’ll form life-changing friendships
With folks along the way!”
(Alastor) “And feast on all the angels you can eat!”
(Charlie) “Okay…”

            However, the incentive of food instantly piqued the attention of the crowd. The cannibals were excited, eager to get a taste of the exorcists that had plagued them for so long.

(Cannibals) “It’s time now to act,
They’re on the attack!
When they move to strike,
We will fight biting back!”

            Charlie had done it. Alastor took back his microphone, and Rosie placed her own staff with a skull-head in Charlie’s hand to lead the cannibals.

(Cannibals) “We’ll follow your lead,
We’re eager to feed,
We’ll sharpen our teeth for the heavenly feast,
From this moment on, you can count on us,
To be resolute and ravenous!
Our appetites are whet, and we’re set to seize the day,
So I say, ‘Oh, hey!’ come join the flesh buffet!”
(Charlie) “Well, that’s a little violent,
Can we tone it down?”
(Rosie) “Oh, don’t be put off by their snarlin’
That’s enthusiasm, darlin’!”

            Charlie looked out over the ravenous cannibals as they retrieved weapons and grinned widely.

(Charlie) “Eh, they just seem a little murder-y right now.”
(Rosie) “Don’t worry, honey, that’s their thing,
Keep singing.”
(Charlie and Rosie) “We’re super-duper grateful to have you aboard!”
(Cannibals) “We can’t wait to taste an angel’s wings!”
(Charlie) “Oh, lord.”

            The crowd grabbed her and supported her above their shoulders, and Charlie looked out proudly, hands on her hips.

(Charlie) “For the first time in my life,
Maybe I can be ready for this,
I can be the marshal leading the parade,
I can come into my own,
And I think I’ve always known,
My destiny could never be postponed!
When Adam brings the battle here,
I must appear
Like I’m ready for this!”

            Rosie, Alastor, and (Y/N) grinned as they watched.

(Rosie) “They’re dancing along,
They’re singing her song!”

            She spun (Y/N) around.

(Alastor) “Surprised, why, I knew she could do it all along!”

            He spun (Y/N) around, and they laughed.

((Y/N)) “She’s bound to pass the test as Princess of Hell!”
((Y/N), Alastor, Rosie) “Like her daddy, she is madly power-fell!”

            Alastor spun Rosie around, and she grinned and held (Y/N)’s hands, swinging them up.

(Alastor) “She’s filled with potential that I could guide!”

            Rosie grabbed him and (Y/N) and pulled them close.

(Rosie) “I concur!”
(Rosie, Alastor, (Y/N)) “Stick with her,
You’ll be on the winning side!”
(All) “For the first time in our lives,
We know that we are ready for this!”
(Rosie) “We’ll show Heaven a fight they won’t forget!”
(All) “It’s to take a stand!”
(Charlie) “It’s time to lend a hand!”

            “Huzzah!” shouted the crowd.

(All) “Against all the angels and their deadly threat!
We cannot take it anymore,
The time has come to go to war,
Prepare to fight, we’re ready for thiiiiis!”
(Charlie) “I really hope that I’m ready for this.”

Chapter Text

            (Y/N) spun the spear around in their hands, letting themself feel the balance. They felt at home with it, ready to defend their friends against the angels that would be arriving tomorrow to try to destroy their souls. Narrowing their eyes, (Y/N) let their briars take the weapon from them. They refused to let the exorcists win. (Y/N) had trained as hard as they could for this—the fight to have an afterlife, to have an existence, to have a family.

            “Well, it seems everyone is coming along nicely,” said Rosie, overseeing her cannibals with approval. She herself would be leaving before the battle to protect more of her people in case the exorcists came for Cannibal Town at all, but she was there to help at the hotel for now.

            “Do you think we have a fighting chance?” said (Y/N), glancing at her.

            “Oh, yes,” said Rosie, grinning sharply. “If anyone can tear these angels apart, it is this group.”

            (Y/N) stood a little taller at that. “I’m ready to fight.”

            Rosie patted them on the shoulder. “Of course you are, sweetheart]! However…” Rosie raised a brow and looked at (Y/N)’s overalls. “Are you sure you wish to go into battle in that?”

            “My clothes?” asked (Y/N) in confusion.

            “Sweetheart, you’re about to be in the greatest fight or your life and afterlife,” said Rosie. “I just know that upstart Vox will be filming everything, and, of course, if you’re going to fight, you should look good doing it.” She pulled (Y/N) to her side. “We’re getting you new clothes.”

            “Is now really the time?” said (Y/N), looking around at everyone training.

            “Certainly,” said Rosie. “Come along, sweetheart. If we’re going into battle, we do it in style! Right, Alastor?”

            He was instantly by his (best and only) friend’s side. “It wouldn’t be a good show without style.”

            “I can’t believe you haven’t taken (Y/N) to our tailor yet,” tsked Rosie as she, (Y/N), and Alastor walked into the city.

            (Y/N) liked walking between them. Alastor was…interesting (intimidating), but they didn’t really mind him, and Rosie was possibly the nicest and warmest woman (Y/N) had ever met. Going shopping was a strange turn of events given the circumstances, but (Y/N) wasn’t opposed since they felt comfortable in their own skin with people for the first time in their life. They were going to explore who they were—clothes, magic, and all.

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            “Here we are!” said Rosie, guiding (Y/N) into a tailor shop. “This is the perfect place for new clothes. Alastor and I have been patrons of this shop since we arrived in Hell, haven’t we?”

            (Y/N) could have told them that. When they had walked in with the two overlords, the other customers had run out in fear, and the workers had immediately stood at the ready to assist them. Luckily, several seemed pleased to have the clientele, so not every experience with Rosie or Alastor had been bad. Unsurprisingly, they could be classy when going about their business.

            “Of course. They have a classier style than some of the modern…attire—” Alastor spoke as if he was calling it trash “—you find around these parts.”

            “It looks expensive,” said (Y/N), looking around at the lovely outfits, yes, but also well-made (which mean they cost money).

            “Auntie Rosie is treating you,” said Rosie proudly. “And if I don’t want to cover everything, I’ll just ask Alastor.” She winked. As his best friend, she could get away with that.

            (Y/N) smiled. “Alright.”

            “Then let’s begin!” Rosie became businesslike. As an Overlord and talented businesswoman, she took presentation seriously, and she was not about to let (Y/N)’s new, made-in-Hell clothes be anything less than excellent. “Alastor, what colors are we thinking?”

            “Red, of course,” said Alastor.

            Rosie nodded approvingly. “Bold, hellish, and it will harmonize with our outfits.”

            (Y/N) had a (pleasant) feeling that they were going to be going around with Rosie and Alastor far more often.

            “Can we get their measurements?” said Alastor, looking at a worker. It was not a request.

            The tailor walked up with his measuring tape, and (Y/N) frowned, stepping back.

            “I, uh, I don’t like to be touched,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms in an instinctive attempt to self-soothe.

            Rosie’s gaze softened. “Would you be comfortable with me doing your measurements, sweetheart?”

            (Y/N) looked at Rosie and gazed into her eyes. For a moment, they didn’t speak. Then, they nodded. (Y/N) would take a chance and trust Rosie—warm and comforting Rosie. They were sure she had her dark side—she was a cannibalistic overlord, after all—but (Y/N) didn’t really care about that. Other parts of who people were felt more important to them. Like Rosie being kind to them. Rosie being respectful.

            “Thank you, sweetheart,” said Rosie, taking the measuring tape from the worker. “Now, just stand still.” She stepped closer and held the measuring tape across (Y/N)’s shoulders, beginning the measurements. “Alastor, what are your opinions on style? (Y/N), your opinions are valid, too. Speak up if you have any ideas.”

            “I don’t like modern clothes,” said Alastor. “I think the style should be more timeless instead of cheap and temporarily ‘trendy’.”

            (Y/N) would have nodded in agreement, but Rosie was measuring their neck, so they decided to speak. “I want to feel put-together. Like I’m strong and I’m here to stay. I don’t want to be overlooked or considered a weak kid who has no idea what they’re doing, anymore.”

            Rosie and Alastor’s grins sharpened. As (Y/N) spoke, they grew more impassioned, their hidden feelings and thoughts that had undoubtedly led to the incident that sent them to Hell coming through. Rosie and Alastor respected that fire.

            “Oh, don’t worry,” said Alastor. “No one is going to say my protégé is weak if I have a say in it.”

            “Sweetheart, it’s time for you to really show Hell and Heaven who you are,” said Rosie, cupping (Y/N)’s cheek.

            “Now, smile!” said Alastor. “No matter what outfit you wear, you’re never fully dressed without one.”

            (Y/N) grinned.

l

            “Where the hell were you?” said Vaggie, hands on her hips when (Y/N) and Alastor returned to the hotel (Rosie had headed back to Cannibal Town).

            “Shopping,” said Alastor, his shadows holding up the bags.

            “You went shopping at a time like this?” said Vaggie.

            “I can’t let my protégé go into battle wearing those,” said Alastor, gesturing to (Y/N)’s overalls.

            (Y/N) shrugged and looked at Vaggie. “Rosie insisted.”

            Vaggie sighed. “Alright, alright. Come on, Charlie has a speech.”

            “Very Charlie-like,” said (Y/N), laughing and walking over to the gathering crowd.

            “Alastor, (Y/N), you’re back! Great timing!” said Charlie, not questioning their absence for a moment. “Hey, uh, Alastor, could I borrow your microphone again? I want to make sure everyone can hear me.” Alastor tossed the microphone to her, and Charlie grinned. “Thank you!” She walked on stage and looked out over the crowd.

            “I want to thank everyone for coming,” she began, smiling out at her people. “Even people who aren’t staying here yet…Cherri.”

            “Look, I can’t resist a fight, okay?” said Cherri, grinning. “Especially when I get to tag team with this fuckhead.” She hugged Angel.

            Charlie smiled and addressed the crowd at large again. “Tomorrow, the exorcist angels will face a Hell ready to defend itself and win!”

            “Yeah! Yeah, we will, tell ‘em baby!” cheered Vaggie.

            (Y/N) grinned. They were ready to fight for their home.

            “Yes! And we are-we are going to win!” declared Charlie. She coughed. “But, in case we don’t…I want you all to know that getting to know you has been the biggest honor of my life. Whatever redemption really means…I know you all tried. I have seen the good in all of you.”

            (Y/N) wasn’t too sure about going to Heaven if they were alright with killing sinners’ souls for sport, but they couldn’t help a smile at Charlie’s words. Becoming a better person was good.

            “And it’s…I’m just…I love you all so much,” said Charlie. “And…and live tonight however you want because—”

            “We’re all going to die!” Niffty cackled excitedly.

            Everyone stared at her.

            “Alright, let’s give it up for not dying!” said Vaggie, attempting to salvage the situation. “Love not dying.” She coughed. “Drinks?”

            That was an idea everyone could get behind.

l

            (Y/N) held their drink and smiled at the family they’d found. They were in Hell, yes, punished just like the…people on Earth had always told them they’d be. But they were happy. They were living how they wanted, and no one was judging them. They were accepted. In Hell, in the Hazbin Hotel, (Y/N) was home.

            “I mean, personally, I’m excited. It’s been a long time since I’ve stabbed someone and really meant it, you know what I mean?” said Vaggie, and the group laughed.

            “I’m excited to get to really see what I can do with my magic, really go all out, you know?” said (Y/N) excitedly, the roses on their head doubling and blooming wide.

            “Cheers, bitches!” said Cherri.

            “Yeah,” laughed Husk.

            “Here’s to us,” said Angel, clinking his glass with Husk’s.

            “Here’s to being alive today and not dying tomorrow!” declared Pentious.

            Everyone cheered and raised their glasses together—a family coming together.

            Above them, Alastor leaned on the banister of the stairs and regarded them from afar. “Ah, the celebratory night before a courageous last stand. It’s been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection.” He leaned his head on his hand. “Almost makes one sentimental, eh, Niffty?”

            “I really like them, Alastor,” said Niffty. “They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!”

            Alastor chuckled. “Ah, an enjoyable collective.”

            Niffty nodded vigorously. “(Y/N) even made me a stage and set!”

            Alastor’s familiarly manipulative grin morphed to a far different smile. His eyes landed on (Y/N) below. “I admit one could get accustomed.” However, as much as (Y/N) was Alastor’s protégé, he refused to think of anything else. Vulnerability would only get him into trouble. Alastor refused to lose any chance he had at power and freedom to sentiment. He couldn’t afford to.

            (Y/N) noticed him and waved.

            Alastor couldn’t help but smile slightly wider in response.

Chapter Text

            Morning arrived. (Y/N) stood under Hell’s red sky. Around them, their friends and the people of Cannibal Town stood with their weapons ready. It was time for the exorcists to arrive.

            (Y/N) flexed their hands, making sure their vines and briars were ready. The plants held angelic weaponry—ready to kill the angels who once wielded them. (Y/N) themself had a knife strapped to their side so that, if it came to it, they could fight one-on-one with an angel, too.

            They also proudly wore their new outfit, feeling like a true member of Hell in it. They wore a red dress with a proper collar and cuffs, and overtop, they had on a long black vest. Finally, they wore black boots. It was a simple outfit, but it was put-together, and (Y/N) felt like they fit with their friends. More importantly, (Y/N) felt strong and like themself. They felt ready to fight.

            In the skies above the Hazbin Hotel, a golden portal to Heaven opened up, and everyone tensed.

            “Here they come,” said Vaggie, standing next to Charlie. Both sported their own outfits for battle. “Get ready, everyone. We fight together!”

            “Come on, let’s go,” muttered Cherri, tossing her bombs to herself.

            “Let’s do this,” said (Y/N), narrowing their eyes and grinned.

            Angels dove through the portal.

            Vaggie raised her spear. “Now! For your souls!”

            Angels, cannibals, and hotel guests alike let out a war-cries and ran/flew towards each other.

            “Let’s fuck them up!” said Charlie.

            The groups clashed, and violence became the theme of the day. The exorcists, expecting to easily destroy the sinners’ souls, were shocked as their own golden blood was spilled. None of them were aware they could be hurt or killed, and the sinners used that to their advantage.

            A cackle from the roof of the hotel alerted everyone to Alastor’s presence. His magic swept over the hotel, and a shield of runes and shadows collected around the hotel. It kept the foolish exorcists in, trapped to be killed. Outside of the shield, shadows with angelic weaponry swung at the remaining exorcists (and Adam).

            Inside the shield, no one wasted time and immediately took advantage of the exorcists’ surprise at facing further resistance. (Except Charlie, who just discombobulated them and let the others finish them off). Cherri threw bombs, laced with angelic steel shrapnel, and tore the exorcists to bits. Husk took several down with his cards, and Niffty ran around stabbing them to ensure their death. Angel shot them with six different machine guns, strong as ever.

            “Come and get some!” cackled Angel.

            “Eat shrapnel, fuckers!” cheered Cherri.

            “All angelic weapons, fire at will!” Pentious had, of course, set up cannons and technology to take down angels. He had used his intelligence well, and the exorcists were falling.

            On their part, (Y/N) was making full use of their magic. Briars of thorns grabbed and pierced the skin of the angels, throwing them towards other vines or people with weapons to kill them. (Y/N) stood at the center of the growing vines, roses blooming as their strength grew. Their grin never left their face as they tore angels apart and slashed exorcists to death. Despite being on the ground, (Y/N) could feel every single one of their plants like additional limbs. They sensed them growing, dying, killing. The power was positively addictive.

            An exorcist dove through (Y/N)’s protective brambles. She raised her spear and let out an angry shout. Vines wrapped around her, stopping her in the air.

            “You know, I really don’t appreciate you trying to kill me,” said (Y/N), narrowing their eyes at her. “I didn’t get to enjoy myself in life. I had to always hold myself back.” They grinned. “So it’s fucking rude of you to interrupt me when I’m having a good time.” The vines sprouted thorns and roses, choking the angel. “Please leave,” chirped (Y/N). The vines slammed the exorcist down onto her own abandoned spear.

            (Y/N) looked at her dead body, and their grin didn’t leave. Their plants had already ended other lives, yes, but this…this was more of their own hand, own direct awareness. And they didn’t feel guilty. (Y/N) had killed again, and again, they felt like they’d done the right thing. (Y/N) stood straighter. They were leaving behind any guilt or shame that people had tried to tie to them in life.

            (Y/N) felt powerful.

            “Alright,” they said, grinning. Their plants lifted them off the ground, and they floated in their magic. “Who’s next?”

            The exorcists launched at them, and (Y/N) met with them equal ferocity.

            “Alastor’s shield is working!” said Charlie in relief.

            “Try to focus, sweetie,” said Vaggie, pirouetting and stabbing an exorcist. (She had learned more than a few techniques from Carmilla).

            “We might actually have a chance!” said Charlie.

            “Love the optimism,” said Vaggie, smiling. “Still trying to focus.”

            Wham!

            The entire shield shook as Adam slammed into it with a powerful punch from outside. Cracks of holy light splintered through the shield, and it shattered. The hotel was exposed once more.

            “Fuck,” cursed Angel.

            “Oh, no,” said Charlie.

            Adam dove to the roof of the hotel where Alastor still stood.

            “Alastor,” murmured (Y/N).

            “Focus, kid,” said Husk, throwing several cards into exorcists’ necks. “Alastor will put up a fight.”

            “Right, right,” said (Y/N), shaking their head and putting their frustration into their attacks.

            A giant flash of gold cut through the air, and everyone looked up to see Alastor being thrown, unprotected, across the roof. Far away, the On Air sign of his radio tower flickered and died.

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened. Alastor was injured. He’d been beaten. Their plants grabbed them and lifted them up, but Husk darted through the air on his own wings and pulled them back down.

            “If Alastor couldn’t beat him, stay here,” barked Husk. “Do not go running to get yourself killed, kid!”

            “But—”

            “We still need to fight!” said Angel.

            (Y/N)’s eyes narrowed, but they knew they had to keep fighting. And with how this was going…they’d get a chance to face Adam. Would that go well? Logic said no, but (Y/N) was angry and wanted to unleash that fury on the man so eager to hurt all their friends.

            “There are more coming on your right!” said Pentious from the balcony of the hotel where he was looking out for angels. “Get ready for them, Vagatha, (Y/N)!”

            “Not my name, but got it!” said Vaggie, lunging for the exorcists.

            (Y/N)’s vines, as furious as their master, lashed out at the angels, ripping them apart and stabbing through them viciously.

            “Sorry! Sorry!” said Charlie as she hit angels with her shield so cannibals (and Niffty) could finish them off.

            “Stop apologizing, they deserve it!” said (Y/N), their vines supporting them through the air and assisting them in dodging the exorcists. “Come here, you fucking bitches.”

            Angel and Husk were also still fighting as energetically as ever, though the fight was never-ending.

            “These fuckin’ angels won’t stop comin’,” huffed Husk.

            “Hah!” laughed Angel.

            Husk cracked a smile. “Okay, I walked into that one.”

            Angel grinned before turning on an exorcist attempting to kill one of the Egg Bois and shot her down.

            “You alright, squirt?” he asked.

            The Egg Boi hugged his leg. “I nearly scrambled myself.”

            “Get somewhere safe,” said Angel.

            Bam!

            Part of the hotel exploded, and people were set flying. When the dust settled, (Y/N)’s eyes narrowed. It was Adam, fighting with holy light.

            “Suck my holy light, fuckers! Yeah!” he cheered with glee.

            The angelic power was too much, and the demons were sent flying. (Y/N) winced as their plants were destroyed, feeling them cry out as they died.

            “We aren’t going to last unless we do something about him,” said Vaggie.

            “But what? Alastor was supposed to handle him!” said Charlie.

            Hearing them over his monitors, Pentious made a decision. Pulling Cherri to him, who was beside him, he dipped her.

            “I’m trying to fight here! Are you out of your fucking mind?” said Cherri.

            “Yes.” And Pentious took a chance and kissed her. “Miss Cherri Bomb, I love you,” he declared. “Remember me!” He slithered off to his most prized creation—his ship.

            Cherri blushed. “That was kind of hot.”

            Below, the battle continued to rage, though the tides had turned on the demons as Adam’s holy light threw them around. It was all they could do to avoid getting hit, let alone really deal damage to the exorcists.

            Then, the shadow of Pentious’s ship loomed over them. The hotel group stood, and their eyes widened.

            “Pentious…?” whispered Charlie.

            “That crazy motherfucker,” said Angel.

            “He’s going to die!” cursed Husk.

            “He’s doing it for us,” said (Y/N).

            Pentious’s ship went to fire, and Adam lifted his hand. Pentious’s shot and Adam’s holy light met midair, and the holy light pierced through Pentious’s attack and struck the ship. The entire thing exploded. The Egg Bois and Pentious were gone.

            “Oh, whoop. That could’ve been ugly,” chuckled Adam, sneering.

            “No!” screamed Charlie.

            Cherri covered her mouth in shock, and the rest of the Hazbin Hotel’s eyes widened in sadness. Pentious was dead, killed by Adam.

            “Fuck…” Angel hung his head. “You did good, buddy.”

            “Thank you for your sacrifice, Pentious,” murmured (Y/N).

            “No, no, no.” Charlie fell to her knees.

            “Charlie, I’m so sorry,” said Vaggie, holding Charlie.

            Charlie let out a growl and stood back up. “Razzle! Dazzle!”

Her voice had never been so angry. The two goat demons flew around her, and she rose into the air. Flames erupted around her. Horns extended from her forehead, and the entirety of her eyes turned red. A trident appeared in her hand, and Razzle and Dazzle grew to giant dragons. This was Charlie Morningstar, daughter of Lucifer, heir to the throne of Hell, in all her demonic glory.

            Charlie and Vaggie leapt onto the backs of the dragons, and Charlie pointed her trident up at Adam.

            “Let’s ride!” she declared.

            (Y/N) wasn’t about to wait around, this time. Adam had hurt Alastor and killed Pentious. They weren’t letting him do more. Their vines carried them up into the air, killing the angels in their way.

            Lute and Adam hovered above them, ready to face them. Lute dove at Vaggie and Dazzle and slashed through Dazzle’s throat. Vaggie let out a shout, and she and Dazzle fell towards the hotel. Lute pierced Dazzle again and sent them all crashing through the roof of the hotel. Vaggie didn’t waste anytime beginning a fight with Lute, and the pair fought all over the foyer of the hotel.

            “Vaggie!” In concern, Charlie dove down towards her girlfriend.

            “Charlie!” shouted (Y/N) in warning.

            Too late. “Surprise, bitch!” Adam appeared before Charlie and sent her flying with a powerful attack. “Your turn, you fucking brat!” shouted Adam, turning on (Y/N).

            Holy light shot at them, and (Y/N)’s briars tossed them onto the remains of the roof before they were chopped in half by the light. Landing hard, (Y/N) rolled to a stop and pushed themself back up as Adam landed on the roof.

            “You fucking sinners are so fucking stupid,” sneered Adam as he looked at them. “I’m Adam. The first man. Created by God. What makes you think you have anything on that?”

            “Yeah, well, for being created by God, you fucking suck, don’t you?” sneered (Y/N).

            Adam narrowed his eyes and sent several blasts of holy light at them. (Y/N) dodged, expertly using their plants to pull themself to safety each time.

            “Hold still, you little shit!” cursed Adam.

            “I thought you were the first man,” said (Y/N), refusing to stop moving. “But you have no style and only one move!”

            If they did, they were dead. They weren’t stupid; they couldn’t win this fight. They didn’t have that strength (yet, said a small voice in their mind, a whisper like the rustle of leaves). But that didn’t mean (Y/N) wouldn’t stall Adam for as long as it took Charlie to recover and for their friends to handle the other exorcists. (Y/N) wasn’t backing down.

            “No wonder everyone hates you,” sneered (Y/N).

            “I’m a favorite of God! I’m adored in Heaven!” shouted Adam.

            Ironically, his pride was his weakness. (Y/N) would use that. “Yeah, well, Earth doesn’t like you. You fucked up just like Eve, eating that apple,” said (Y/N). “I wonder why you’re not in Hell, too? You must have kissed a lot of ass to get out of that. Kind of pathetic. You got to Heaven, but you’re just as bad as all of us down here!”

            “I’m an angel! I’m better than you fucking sinners!” said Adam.

            “Watch it, pride is a deadly sin,” said (Y/N) with a wide grin. “Wouldn’t want that, would we, oh-so-heavenly-angel?”

            “Don’t act like you’re better than me, bitch,” said Adam. Another blast of heavenly light, and the explosion knocked (Y/N) sideways. “I punish you fuckers because you deserve it. I’m acting as God intended!”

            (Y/N)’s eyes turned red, and their pupils flashed into roses for a moment. Across their body, tattoos of leaves and vines glowed green. Their rose into the air, the roses of their hair blooming, thorns and brambles joining them. (Y/N)’s demon form began to emerge.

            “As God intended?” (Y/N)’s voice echoed, and the unheard voices of the trees and leaves and flowers, angry at human interference and destruction, furious at the abuse of humanity, flowed through their words. “Oh, yes, the infamous excuse of the righteous. When they harm others, when they abuse the unprotected, it is as God intended. I hate that excuse.” Their grin widened. “You're all just righteous cowards hiding that they’re the worst of humanity.” They cocked their head. “And I killed the fucking righteous cowards on Earth. So I think I’ll kill you, too.”

            For a moment, Adam stared as (Y/N)’s words cut to him, cut to his one fear: his inadequacy. Lilith had left him; Eve had left him. Then, as usual, Adam’s anger and desire to prove himself superior came to the forefront, and he glowed with angelic power.

            “Come at me, bitch,” sneered Adam. (Y/N)’s vines struck, and Adam laughed as he fired holy light into them. “Pathetic! What is that supposed to d—”

            Thwip!

            (Y/N) flipped by him, and the dagger in their hand slashed through his mask. Adam stumbled back, clutching his cheek as golden blood flowed. He had been injured. It wasn’t much, sure, but a sinner, a common mortal soul damned to Hell, had harmed him! Adam! The first man!

            He didn’t even bother speaking; his rage overtook him. Holy light exploded out from him. (Y/N) barely dodged it, and the plants on their body were singed, sending agony through their veins. They cried out, and as the roof exploded, (Y/N) was thrown over the side. They landed on the ground hard, groaning, barely surviving since their plants managed to catch them with the strength they had left. The light in their eyes and newfound tattoos faded, leaving them unprotected and injured on the ground.

            Adam stood on the side of the nearly-destroyed roof and aimed down at (Y/N) again. They stared up at him with narrowed eyes. This felt like their first death. But this time, they felt only satisfaction. They had found freedom briefly. They had found friends. They had found family. (Y/N) had even injured Adam. If this was their final death, then so be it.

            (Y/N) would die knowing they’d done the right thing.

            Before Adam could kill them, though, Charlie slammed into him. She had recovered her strength and immediately come to defend her friends. The Princess of Hell was there for her people, always.

            Unfortunately, as the fight went back and forth, it appeared that the first man’s strength as an angel was still more powerful than a demon’s. Adam slammed Charlie down, and as his exorcists surrounded her friends, he grinned and closed his hands around her throat.

            “This fight was cute n’ all, but it’s time to die with the rest of them,” sneered Adam.

            “Charlie!” screamed Vaggie.

            Thump!

            Adam cried out as a punch sent him flying. Charlie slumped forward, and a shorter man caught her.

            “Dad?” she gasped.

            Lucifer Morningstar, King of Hell, had arrived. He smiled at his daughter as he held her. “Sorry I wasn’t here sooner, sweetie.” He placed her on her feet, and they faced Adam as he crawled to his feet.

            “Okay, seriously?” he said, aggravated. “How many of you freaks do I have to fight?!”

            “Oh, I’m the only one that matters,” said Lucifer with a smirk. He rolled up his sleeves. “See, you messed with my daughter, and now I’m going to fuck you.”

            Silence.

            That could not have been said worse, thought (Y/N) blearily as their body tried to repair itself.

            “It’s fuck you ‘up,’ Dad,” whispered Charlie awkwardly.

            “Wait, what did I say?” said Lucifer, blinking.

            “Agh!” Angry, Adam grabbed Lucifer and slammed him through the wall of the roof.

            Lucifer transformed into a snake, escaped, and poofed back into his original form with three pairs of wings extended. He laughed at Adam as the man attacked and flew at him.

            “So, this is what you’ve been up to since Eden?” Lucifer chuckled. “Gott say, you really let yourself go, buddy.”

            “You, judgin’ me?! You’re the most hated being in all of creation!” sneered Adam, grabbing snake-Lucifer by the tail and throwing him.

            Lucifer transformed into a duck, flew away, and then became himself again. (He was showing off, angering Adam’s pride). “Well, your first wife didn’t seem to hate what I had to offer,” said Lucifer. He smirked. “Or the second, bow-chicka-wow-wow.”

            Adam grabbed him. “I’ll fuckin’ end you!”

            Lucifer began a horse and bucked him off. “Whoa, missed me!” He became himself and dodged a blast of holy light. “Hoohoo, not even close! Hehehe, nice try, douchebag!”

            “Hold still, you slippery fucker!” cursed Adam.

            He threw a giant blast of holy light at the hotel, and the entire thing exploded, sending Charlie falling towards the earth. Charlie let out a scream, and Lucifer dove towards her. He caught her and smiled softly at his daughter.

            “I got you,” he said.

            Charlie’s demon form flared as Adam cackled and prepared an attack since Lucifer was distracted. “Dad, look out!” she cried.

            Her arm turned large and demonic, glowing red. She caught Adam’s hand, stopping his attack.

            Adam’s eyes widened in shock. “Woah, wait, what the fuck?!”

            Lucifer’s eyes narrowed, he turned, and he grabbed Adam. With a tingle throw, Adam was sent hurtling towards the earth. He crashed into the ground, leaving a crater behind. His entire mask was shattered, and bruises littered his body as he looked up at Lucifer and Charlie.

            “You come at me and my daughter, don’t forget, you’re in my house, bitch!”

            Lucifer’s eyes glowed red, horns sprouted from his forehead, and flames hovered between them. This was the King of Hell with the Princess. Lucifer didn’t give Adam a chance to even feel fear, put Charlie down, and lunged at him. He punched Adam over and over, pummeling the first man into the ground. Lucifer raised his hands, and flames collecting between them. With a single move, he could kill Adam.

            “Whoa, whoa, Dad.” Charlie grabbed Lucifer’s shoulder. “He’s had enough.” She spoke gently, as kind and merciful as ever. Even in the face of the man who had hurt her friends and killed so many, Charlie refused to change her ways.

            Lucifer frowned, but he listened to his daughter. He stood straight and looked down at the beaten, bleeding angel. “Alright.” He sneered, allowing himself anger even if he wouldn’t kill Adam like he wanted to. He would try to do what his daughter would do. “How’s mercy taste, you little bitch?”

            Knowing Adam could do no more and couldn’t do anything against him, Lucifer turned away and walked back towards the gathering survivors of the sinners. The exorcists hovered a ways away, unsure if they could keep fighting and in shock at Adam’s defeat.

            “No,” groaned Adam, pushing himself out of the ditch he lay in. “You don’t get to end this.” He had to crawl, his wings hanging uselessly at his sides. “I’m fucking Adam!” He glared at Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggie, Cherri, Angel, Husk, and Niffty. The sinners just stared back, seeing him barefaced and as he was: just a man. “I’m the fucking man! And you’re just some fucking clowns or something!” Adam couldn’t take the even looks in all of the demons’ eyes. They didn’t see him an angel so far above them. They just saw a man, nothing special. Adam couldn’t take that. “I started everything on Earth! All of mankind came from these fucking nuts! You al should be worshipping me!” Looking over them, Adam felt the dangerous feeling of inferiority settle in as no fear shone in the eyes of the people united against him. “You ungrateful, disgusting, fucking losers—!”

            The shadow loomed over him, and everyone’s eyes widened. Adam whirled.

            Squelch!

            A knife pierced Adam’s stomach. It twisted, and Adam let out a strangled cry, eyes wide.

            “I hate false righteousness,” sneered (Y/N), pulling the knife from his stomach.

            He stumbled back and fell.

            “(Y/N)?” said Charlie, eyes wide. The rest of the hotel stared.

            Adam stared up at the plant that had carried (Y/N) to the battle. “Fucking…every…time.” The apple tree loomed over him like a sick joke.

Chapter Text

           “Noooo!” screamed Lute as Adam fell. She ran to Adam’s side, and (Y/N) backed off, narrowing their eyes in case she tried anything. “Sir! Stay with me, sir! Adam!” He was gone.

           “It’s over,” said Charlie, holding Vaggie to her side protectively.

           Lucifer loomed over Lute, and her eyes widened in fright. “Take your little friends and go home! Please.”

           Lute narrowed her eyes and picked up Adam’s halo. Furious at having no other choice, she glared at the demons before calling out to the exorcists. “Retreat. All exorcists fall back.”

           The angels rose into the air, fleeing back through the portal to heaven.

           Lucifer, pleased, turned to the hotel group. “So…who’s up for pancakes?”

           Everyone, bloody and tired, stared at him.

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            “Good evening, I’m Katie Killjoy,” said the news report later that night.

            “And I’m—”

            “No one gives a shit who you are, Tom,” said Katie. “Breaking news: extermination day is canceled! Charlie Morningstar managed to fend off the angelic attack with more than just nice words. In an unseen turn of events, our demonic head honcho Lucifer stepped in to save his daughter’s ass in the last moment. We’re also hearing reports that Adam, leader of the Angelic Legions, first man, and totally fuckable bad boy, has been slain by a filthy gardening demon or some shit like that. The kid said, quote, ‘I hate cameras, and TV here sucks, go away’ before threatening our crew! What an asshole! Anyway, congrats to Charlie and her crew for not being totally fucking useless for once.”

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            Charlie held Keekee as she looked over the rubble that used to be the Hazbin Hotel. They’d lost so much, so many people. “Oh, there, there, it’s…” She sighed. “It’s okay.” She tried to believe it herself, but it was difficult.

            Angel smiled at her as he held Fat Nuggets. Charlie managed to smile back and took a step towards him. She found herself in front of the “Happy First Week!” sign she’d made for Pentious. Her heart ached at his loss. Vaggie put her hands on Charlie’s shoulders comfortingly.

(Charlie) “He did it for us,
The ultimate sacrifice.
He gave me his trust,
And look how we pay the prince.”

            Tears gathered in her eyes. She had failed her friends. Because she hadn’t been strong enough, they had gotten hurt, killed.

(Charlie) “This bloodshed could have been avoided,
If I convinced heaven to work together.
I took a hotel, and I destroyed it,
I know I could have done better, better,
Instead of letting you down.”

            Lucifer put a hand on his daughter’s shoulder and smiled at her.

(Lucifer) “Come on little lady, why the frown?
In the last ten thousand years, you’re the first one to change this town,
You can do this,
Now I know it,
For your story has just begun,
You can’t quit now,
Hell, you owe it,
There’s still damage to be undone,
You’ve changed my mind,
You’ve touched their hearts.”

            Charlie looked around as her friends approached with a smile.

(Lucifer) “Found the good in souls gone bad,
The stage is wrecked, the crowd is gone,
But by God Charlie,
The show it must go on!”

            Her friends gathered around Charlie.

(Vaggie, Cherri, (Y/N), Angel, Husk, Niffty) “We can do this,
We can build it!
Best hotel that you’ve ever seen!
Twice the bedrooms,
We can fill it!”
(Lucifer) “With more sinners than you can dream!”
(Lucifer and Vaggie) “It starts with you!”
(Vaggie, Cherri, (Y/N), Lucifer, Angel, Husk, Niffty) “You know it’s true,
Fulfill your destiny!”

            They reached out their hands. Wiping her tears and smiling, Charlie stood and took her father’s hand as the group came together for a hug.

(Charlie) “So long as I’ve got all of you with me!”

            And so, the cleanup and work began. It was tough going, but everyone pitched in, and the hotel began to come together better than before.

(Niffty) “To build a hotel, I think we need some brick and lumber!”
(Lucifer) “Good thing we’re in Hell, check out this little magic number.”

            He snapped his fingers, and the supplies appeared.

(Angel) “Start with foundation.”
(Lucifer) “A remedial creation for me.”

            The foundation came together in a single spell.

(Niffty, Angel, Lucifer) “It’s as easy as can be!”

            Soon, the hotel was getting decorated, rooms ready to be stayed in.

(Charlie) “No time for cryin’,
We got a lot of work to do and,
We gotta try and make the best of what’s in ruins.”
(Vaggie) “New coat of paint!”
(Husk) “New lights across the marquee!”
((Y/N)) “With a little sorcery!”

            They waved a hand, and plants grew up around the hotel, decorating it with nature amongst the barren city that Pride usually was.

            Finally, the hotel was put back together, with a statue of Dazzle outside. Charlie smiled at the painting of Pentious and the Egg Bois going up in the foyer to honor his memory. The memories of who they lost would never be forgotten as a new era of the Hazbin Hotel approached.

(All) “We can do this!”
(Charlie) “We can do this!”
(All) “We’ll be better!”
(Charlie) “We’ll be better!”
(All) “Though redemption may take a while.”
(Charlie) “Though it may take a while.”
(All) “Wayward sinners, clear their ledger!”

            They came together for a hug, and a familiar face popped out of the shadows.

(Alastor) “And we’re doing it with a smile!”

            (Y/N) grinned. He was healed and back with them. He had survived, too.

(Charlie) “We’ll make a difference, wait and see.”
(Charlie and Vaggie) “We’re gonna do this, you and me.”
(All) “And then tomorrow it will be,
A fuckin’ happy day in Hell!”

            The Hazbin Hotel was open for business.

l

            (Y/N) walked through the hotel to the new wing dedicated to Alastor’s broadcasts. Obviously, it was placed on the opposite side from Lucifer’s apple-themed wing. They paused at the door of the radio and knocked.

            “Alastor?” they called out.

            The door was opened by a shadow, and (Y/N) stepped inside. Alastor was standing over the controls of the new radio, examining everything.

            “Do you like it?” asked (Y/N), slightly nervous.

           Yes, they had faced Adam, but this was…different. It was a different type of encounter. With a fight, (Y/N) knew what it felt like to suffer, to go through pain, so they could handle that. With friendship, (Y/N) had very little experience, so they weren’t sure how to deal with it.

           Alastor turned to face them. “It seems Charlie did a good job ensuring this was up to my standards. My broadcasts will be quality, as usual.”

           “Charlie didn’t make it. Well, she helped, but I, uh, I did it,” said (Y/N).

           Alastor paused, and his grin, unbidden, widened. “You did?”

           (Y/N) nodded. “I saw your tower was affected when Adam hurt you, so when we rebuilt the hotel, I made sure there was something for you to come back to.”

           “I hadn’t expected to have a broadcast tower at the hotel,” said Alastor.

           “Do you like it?” asked (Y/N).

           “I do,” said Alastor honestly.

           (Y/N) brightened. “I’m glad! And I’m glad you’re alright. Adam did a lot of damage to the hotel, killed Pentious, and hurt you pretty badly.”

           “It will take more than that to kill the Radio Demon,” said Alastor, but the unfortunate truth was that he had nearly died.

           “I faced him,” said (Y/N) suddenly.

           Alastor paused. “Oh?”

           “Yeah, I fought Adam. It didn’t go that well for me, either.” They grinned at him. “But I killed him. In the end, I killed him.” They stood proud in their strength and determination. Yes, (Y/N) had nearly fallen to Adam and Lucifer had really defeated him, but dealing the killing blow had given (Y/N) so much satisfaction.

           Alastor looked at (Y/N), and he cursed every part of him that still had some humanity since he felt something as they smiled at him. It wasn’t what he felt when Rosie laughed alongside him and teased him, but it held a familiar warmth. Although he had begun by seeing something in (Y/N) that reminded him of himself from oh-so long ago, Alastor couldn’t help but look at (Y/N) and just see them, now. It wasn’t them being like him, even if it still began there, but it was more.

           “I wouldn’t expect anything less of my protégé,” said Alastor, unable to keep the fondness completely out of his voice.

           Alastor was falling victim to all of the weaknesses he wanted to eliminate within himself.

           And (Y/N)? Well, the Nature Demon stood tall. They were growing into all the strength they had ever wished for.

Chapter Text

            “Angel! Husk! Vaggie! Alastor!” Charlie rounded the corner and ran towards her fellow adults in the hotel. “Disaster!”

            The others all looked at Charlie in confusion.

            “Oh, boy, what is it gonna be this time?” said Angel.

            “Nothing that I’m going to be a part of,” muttered Husk.

            The last time Charlie had looked this freaked out, she had learned that all the dances she knew from Earth were out of date and forced all of them to teach her the latest dances (only to then learn that Vaggie had died ten years before (Y/N), and (Y/N) wasn’t exposed to modern media so she was still behind).

            “Babe,” said Vaggie, grabbing Charlie by the shoulders to steady her. “Calm down. Tell us what’s wrong.”

            While Angel and Husk attempted to stand and sneak away, Alastor began to melt into the shadows.

            “It’s about (Y/N)!” said Charlie.

            Angel and Husk froze, and Alastor instantly reformed. Vaggie tensed.

            “What about (Y/N)?” said Alastor, tilting his head. His wide smile was frozen on his face, but Husk took a careful step back at the sharpness of the expression.

            “I was talking to them about the party my dad held for me last week because he learned that I liked girls and guys, and they looked confused! They had no idea it could be something celebrated!” said Charlie.

            “Babe, in most of our lives it wasn’t something people could talk about,” said Vaggie. “I mean, I died when LGBT people were starting to be able to marry.”

            “Yes, but (Y/N) thought people who were queer were in Hell because they were queer! They thought they were in Hell partly because of that,” said Charlie, anguished.

            “…They think that about themself?” said Angel, frowning and glancing at Husk.

            Husk sighed. “They have made some comments like that. I think they were raised religious and were pretty controlled.”

            “So (Y/N) thinks they’re a bad person?” said Angel. He frowned. “They’re like…the best of us outside of Charlie.”

            “They are in Hell for a reason,” said Alastor. He grinned. “Pretending they’re helpless doesn’t help them.”

            Husk scowled and rolled his eyes. “They’re strong, but they’re still a kid.”

            “They’re in Hell, but not for being queer!” said Charlie. She looked at Vaggie. “We need to make sure they know that!”

            “Hey, babe, relax.” Vaggie smiled and took Charlie’s hands. “If you’re that worried, we can talk to them.”

            “We have to do better than that,” said Charlie fiercely. Everyone exchanged looks. That meant they were about to be dragged into one of Charlie’s ideas.

            “Is it too late to escape?” muttered Husk.

            “Probably,” said Angel. He offered Husk a smile. “But it’s for (Y/N), so I can put up with it.”

l

            “Is everyone ready?” said Charlie, bouncing around.

            “After all the hours we put into decorating? We better be,” sighed Husk.

            The entire foyer was covered in rainbows and sparkles. In typical Charlie fashion, she had decided to go as dramatic as she could. She had also forced outfits or at least pins onto everyone in the hotel.

            Husk had a bowtie in pansexual colors, Angel Dust had a crop top that said “I <3 Gay People,” Vaggie had a dress with lesbian colors, and Charlie had a bisexual flag wrapped around herself. Charlie had tried to approach Alastor with an aroace pin, but Alastor had been confused, and, since no one wanted to be the one to explain to him what it meant, they had decided to back off. Finally, Charlie had gotten nonbinary and aroace flags for (Y/N). She was really excited to help (Y/N) be prouder in who they were. Seriously, she was vibrating in excitement.

            “We’re back!” said Rosie, who had taken (Y/N) out shopping as a ruse to have them leave the hotel (as soon as Charlie explained what she wanted to do for (Y/N), Rosie had been on board).

            “I feel like I’ve been through Hell,” groaned (Y/N), holding a bunch of bags from their excursion with Rosie.

            “It was for a good cause,” said Rosie, patting their roses affectionately. She took the bags and put them down. “Fashion and fun.”

            “Surprise!” Charlie threw confetti in the air and turned on the rainbow disco ball.

            (Y/N) stared at the decorations and their friends. A banner read “Happy Pride,” and everyone was dressed in fun outfits.

            “Um, what?” said (Y/N).

            “Welcome to our Pride Celebration!” said Charlie eagerly.

            “We’re already in Pride Ring,” said (Y/N), confused.

            “This is for being queer, kid,” said Angel, laughing.

            (Y/N) frowned. “Okay…”

            Husk rolled his eyes and got to the point so that (Y/N) didn’t keep beating themself up. “You’re allowed to be queer. Whatever shit your parents told you, that is not part of the reason you’re in Hell.”

            “It isn’t?” said (Y/N) uncertainly.

            “That would be silly nonsense!” said Alastor, laughing wildly. “The fact that you believed that is amusing! Honestly, if that was why people were in Hell, we’d be even more overcrowded than we are.”

            Vaggie winced at Alastor’s terrible explanation. “What he means is that we did other things to end up in Hell. None of them revolve around our gender or who we’re attracted to.”

            “So don’t think that about yourself!” said Charlie, hugging (Y/N). She flung the flags around their shoulders. “You don’t have to have a gender, and you don’t have to be into anyone, and that doesn’t make you a bad person!”

            “No, you’re in Hell because you killed people!” chirped Alastor.

            Angel winced, and Vaggie groaned.

            “Alastor…” said Charlie, coughing.

            Alastor waved a hand. “They know it’s true!”

            (Y/N) cleared their throat and nodded. “I’m here for a reason.” They smiled at the others. “But…I guess it’s not for being myself.”

            “There you go, little sprout,” said Rosie fondly, smiling. “Now, let’s go celebrate who you are.”

            (Y/N) smiled. They actually had a family now. They could be themself, and they didn’t have to feel guilty. Well, they still felt some shame, but religious guilt was hard to get rid of. (Y/N) could work on it, though. It would take time, but, hey, they were in Hell for eternity. They had nothing but time.

l

            (Y/N) smiled as their friends danced to music. They hung back, still slightly overwhelmed at everything, but they were happy. After their life, they had a lot of unhandled guilt regarding aspects of who they were and the…situation they lived in during their mortal life, but having this, having their friends. It helped (Y/N). It made them feel whole.

            (Y/N) wrapped the flags tighter around themself.

            “Not enjoying the party?” Alastor appeared beside them.

            (Y/N) smiled. “I am. I’m just taking a break from the energy. Charlie has a lot of it,” they chuckled.

            “Hm, yes, I don’t understand why she put this on, but it was entertaining to see everyone working so hard for some rainbows!” said Alastor.

            “It was nice of them,” said (Y/N). “I mean, I always thought I was strange in life for not feeling like I connected to the, uh, boxes people put me into. Gender and liking people and stuff.”

            “That stuff is all nonsense,” said Alastor. “Acting like anyone really wants to be around anyone or be anything is silly.” He laughed. “But my oh my is it amusing to watch people try to fit those roles when you can just…not.” He grinned.

            (Y/N) smiled slightly. Alastor had an interesting perspective on things, but he was supportive. He might be old-fashioned, but he wasn’t homophobic or transphobic.

            “I don’t like being pushed into roles,” agreed (Y/N).

            Alastor’s smile widened. “Good. I don’t want my protégé fitting a mold.”

            (Y/N) smiled again, and on the edges of the room, lavender flowers bloomed.

Chapter Text

            “We’re gonna dress up as scary stuff?” Angel looked at Charlie. “You do remember we’re in Hell, right?”

            “Yeah, but you don’t have to be scary! This is for fun,” said Charlie excitedly. “We’ll listen to fun music and eat candy, and it’ll be awesome.”

            “No thanks,” said Husk. “I don’t play dress up.”

            “Come on, I swear it’ll be fun,” said Charlie. “We’ll have music and dancing and food—”

            “I’ll do it,” said Vaggie, smiling.

            Charlie smiled. “Thanks, Babe.”

            “Is Halloween good for Hazbin Hotel and reforming sinners?” said (Y/N).

            “Of course,” said Charlie. “Instead of actually being scary and horrifying, we’re good!”

            “My parents always said Halloween was satanic, so it might not be good,” said (Y/N).

            “…Kid, your parents suck,” said Angel, looking at them. First Pride, now Halloween? They really did have a strict religious upbringing. He grinned at them. “Time for you to rebel some more from them.”

            “That’s really not what we’re going for, Angel,” said Vaggie.

            “(Y/N) is stuck in bad thinking. Aren’t you supposed to help with that?” said Angel.

            “Yes!” said Charlie firmly. She grinned. “We can have a good time without being satanic or demonic or whatever, and Halloween can be fun.”

            “Of course it can be!” Alastor appeared out of nowhere. “Why, Halloween was my favorite night to strike! The fear, the screams, what a fun evening!”

            “That’s really not—”

            Alastor ignored Vaggie and looked at (Y/N). “We must get you a proper costume. I’m sure Rosie is looking to dress you up again.”

            (Y/N) brightened. They liked Rosie. “You think she would help?”

            “Of course,” said Alastor, steering (Y/N) by the shoulders towards the doors. “I’ll take you to Cannibal Town and then organize the party.”

            “Thanks for your help, Alastor!” said Charlie, grinning.

            “I still think we should be concerned that he gives (Y/N) so much attention,” said Vaggie.

            “His only friend is a cannibal. This could be good for him, being around someone sweet like (Y/N),” said Charlie.

            “Or bad for (Y/N),” said Angel. He looked at Husk. “Do you know what he wants with them?”

            “He hasn’t gone for a deal yet, so I’m not sure,” said Husk.

            “I think it’s sweet,” said Charlie.

            “Alastor is still Alastor,” said Husk firmly. “He just…”

            “He’s weird; (Y/N)’s weird; we’re all weird,” said Angel.

            Husk gestured to Angel. “Yeah, whatever, that. Who can understand it?”

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            “Everything looks so good!” said Charlie excitedly. She wore a fake mustache and a striped grey and black suit (Gomez Addams).

            “It turned out well,” agreed Vaggie, wearing a form-fitting black dress (Morticia Addams).

            Charlie grinned and hugged Vaggie. “Thanks for setting it up.” She looked at Alastor. “And thank you for the music. I wish you’d worn a costume, though.”

            “I don’t have a need to,” said Alastor with his usual grin. “Costumes are silly.”

            “Not when they make someone look this good,” said Angel, posing by the bar. He wore a playboy bunny outfit.

            “Um, Angel, this was supposed to be fun—”

            “Charlie, Halloween parties are for people to dress up sexy,” said Angel. He winked. “I’m upholdin’ tradition.”

            “He’s not wrong,” said Vaggie. She had died in the twenty-first century, and that was still true.

            “Don’t expect much from me. I just threw on what I could find,” said Husk. He had on a purple and raspberry suit with voodoo runes written on cards. Vaggie felt like he reminded her of a character from a movie in New Orleans…But she couldn’t place her finger on t.

            “Can I clean yet?” said Niffty, bouncing up and down in her French maid costume (what else would she wear?).

            “The party has barely begun,” said Charlie, smiling. “And (Y/N) isn’t here.”

            Speaking of the young demon, the front door of the hotel opened, and (Y/N) walked in. Rosie had definitely enjoyed herself dressing them up.

            They wore a red beaded dress with tassels that swished as they moved. A feather was pinned gently amongst their red rose-hair, they wore black gloves, and they had on heels. Obviously, Rosie had taken great pride in dressing them up as a 1920s flapper. (And Rosie had done it because she knew her friend would enjoy seeing his protégé in his time period’s outfit. (Y/N) was an adorable teenager, in her opinion).

            “I’m back,” said (Y/N). They smiled. “Did Rosie and I do the costume right?”

            “You look so good!” said Charlie.

            “Nice, kid,” said Angel, grinning.

            “There’s only one thing wrong with it,” said Alastor.

            Everyone looked at him. Alastor snapped his finger, and the music playing over the radio switched to proper swing music from his era.

            “A dancer should have the right music,” said Alastor. And, with his usual energy, he pulled (Y/N) onto the dancefloor.

            (Y/N) smiled widely and tried to copy his movements to learn the dances properly.

            The other residents of the hotel watched. They were back at the question at hand: was Alastor rubbing off on (Y/N) or were they rubbing off on him? This was a normal Alastor thing to do (he’d pulled Charlie into who-knew-how-many dances at this point), but it was also more…genuine, perhaps, with (Y/N).

            And (Y/N), the kid with the terrible parents who thought they were nothing more than a sinner at times, had a giant smile on their face and a growing confidence when it came to facing all those around them, no matter how powerful.

Chapter Text

            “Celebrate Christmas? Toots, you know we’re in Hell, right?” said Angel, raising a brow. "We do Sinsmas. We're sinners."

            “Well, yeah, but that’s why Christmas is important,” said Charlie, beaming. “I mean, how could celebrating a holy holiday not help you all get into to Heaven? Plus, Sinsmas is a little...hellish. Christmas is good for us!"

            “Celebrating a holiday overrun by greed and commercialism would be more akin to sin, wouldn’t it?” said (Y/N) from where they perched at the bar with Husk.

            “Let me guess, your parents taught you that,” said Husk.

            (Y/N) looked at him. “Is that bad?”

            “Your parents were obsessed with sin,” said Husk, rolling his eyes.

            “I ended up in Hell,” pointed out (Y/N).

            “We have got to get you to stop thinking like those idiots,” said Angel. “Seriously, kid, you’re never going to have any fun always judging yourself.”

            “Besides, this is going to be about loving one another and family and joy!” said Charlie. “Not greed. There’s nothing bad about caring for one another.”

            “It’s not like we can go to double hell at this point,” said (Y/N), shrugging.

            “Not quite the spirit, but I’ll take it!” said Charlie.

            “We’re going to set up a Christmas tree and do a ‘Secret Santa’ gift exchange,” said Vaggie. “Everyone is participating.”

            “Where’s Strawberry Pimp, then?” said Angel.

            “Would you want to be the one to ask him to join this?” said (Y/N).

            “We could send you,” said Husk.

            “Why do I have to be the one who gets laughed at in their face?” said (Y/N).

            “I’m tempted to laugh right now at this idea,” said Angel.

            “(Y/N), can you help us with the tree?” said Charlie, having already procured a tree from somewhere. She was attempting to pull it into place.

            (Y/N) jumped down from the bar and raised a hand to help root the tree in place. It grew greener as they stepped closer.

            “You think Alastor would’ve said yes to the kid?” said Angel, looking at Husk. “He ain’t soft.”

            “No, he isn’t,” agreed Husk. “He would’ve still said no. But he wouldn’t have been mean to them.”

            “Ya think?” said Angel. He frowned. “I don’t want (Y/N) getting’ hurt ‘cause of him.”

            “We’re here, aren’t we?” said Husk. “We can take care of the kid, too, if Alastor stops training them and tries to use them.”

            “True,” said Angel, smiling as he watched (Y/N) grow mistletoe and holly for Charlie. “If anyone deserves redemption, it’s them. If it’s possible…I ain’t letting Alastor influence them into losing that chance.”

            Husk nodded firmly.

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            “Alright, time to reveal the presents!” said Charlie happily once the day of the party had arrived, the (attempt) at Christmas music was playing, and she had stuffed everyone into Christmas sweaters.

            “Oh, look, the Grinch is here,” said Vaggie as she spotted Alastor.

            “As hotelier, it is my duty to oversee all Hotel activities,” said Alastor with his usual smile.

            “Do you want to join in?” said Charlie, smiling.

            “I prefer to watch you all toil away at attempting to please one another with material gifts,” said Alastor. “It’s so hopeless I could laugh at loud!” He would.

            “Okay, let’s get on with this,” said Husk. If Alastor was going to spoil any joy he’d get out of this time with people he liked, then they might as well hurry it up.

            “I’ll go first!” said Charlie, excited as ever. “Niffty, I got you, and here’s your gift.”

            Niffty giggled happily (rapidly) and tore the present open like an animal. She cackled. “Yes!” It was brand-new cleaning supplies, and she barely took any time to toss a gift at Vaggie before running to start putting her gift to work.

            “Okay…I’m guessing this is for me,” said Vaggie, looking at the bag apprehensively. She opened it and breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t something dead (like bugs. Or a bird. Niffty seemed like the type to wrap that up as a gift). She pulled out a painting. It was a bit abstract, but it was clearly a bunch of dead exorcists from their battle at the hotel. “I mean, it’s cool.”

            “Not very Christmas-y,” said Charlie, wincing.

            “What did you expect for her?” snickered Angel. “At least it’s badass.”

            “Put it next to the Pentious portrait,” advised Husk. “Or burn it. It might be cursed.”

            “Right…” said Charlie.

            “Okay, well, I got you, babe,” said Vaggie, holding out a box.

            Eagerly, Charlie opened it and found a new brooch. “It’s so pretty! Thank you, Vaggie!” She hugged her girlfriend tightly, and Vaggie smiled and held her in return.

            “Alright, alright,” said Vaggie before Charlie started crying in gratefulness. “Someone else go before she becomes too emotional.”

            “Angel, this is for you,” said (Y/N), holding out a bag.

            “Thanks, kid,” said Angel, grinning and opening the bag. He let out an excited sound and pulled out a large stuffed animal shaped like a big pig. “It’s Fat Nuggets! I love it!”

            (Y/N) smiled. “I’m glad.” They really had tried to find something he’d like.

            “So cute,” said Charlie, nodding.

            “Husky, baby, I’ve got you a present,” said Angel, eager now that it was his turn. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Husk groaned (mostly pretending to be annoyed).

            However, he took the gift and opened it. He hesitated before unfolding the paper, expecting someone extremely sexual. Instead, he found a pack of cards. Surprised, he opened them and flipped through the cards. Each one was themed on stuff in their life and on people they knew. It was…personal. Husk smiled.

            “Thanks, Angel,” said Husk, completely honest.

            “No problem, Husk,” said Angel softly.

            Husk cleared his throat and held out a long box to (Y/N). “Here, kid, it’s your turn.”

            (Y/N) brightened. They hadn’t received a lot of gifts during their life, so this was exciting. They opened the box and found a long handle. Curiously, they pulled out a staff from the box. The baton was black with a red rose and fake thorns and vines at the top.

            “If you’re gonna be some goddammed powerful demon, you gotta look the part, and that means staffs, apparently,” said Husk, grinning.

            “I love it,” said (Y/N), twirling it around in their hands.

            “I’m glad,” said Husk.

            “Not quite finished, though,” said Alastor. He reached out and tapped the top of the staff so that it lit up with magic. “You’ve got to make it your own.”

            (Y/N) focused, and the rose blossomed into a real flower. They brightened and grinned at Alastor. “Thanks.”

            Husk and Angel glanced at one another as Alastor just grinned in return at (Y/N). Huh.

            “Merry Christmas, everyone!” said Charlie, happily pulled everyone near her into a smile.

            Merry Christmas indeed.

Chapter Text

Content Warning: Homophobia/transphobia, discussion of physical abuse

            (Y/N) walked along the sidewalk of the Pride Ring, rolling their eyes at the people standing in front of TVs. They were literally hypnotized, and no matter how much time they stood there and let their energy be sucked away for Vox’s profit, they always ended up back at the screens. (Y/N) was glad their phone was minimally accessible by the modern media Vox used to control people—a measure of security Vaggie pushed for, and Charlie, despite seeing the good in everyone, agreed with her on that point. So, (Y/N) kept their eyes away from the TV, remembering the people stuck there as a warning.

            Of course, (Y/N) wouldn’t really be tempted either way. They felt so…gross when they looked at the screens. They had glanced occasionally before they learned what Vox’s screens did, and it always left them with a headache. Once or twice, they felt wilted. (Y/N) didn’t enjoy it, so kept their eyes away from the cold light.

            (Y/N) lifted their head once they were away from the screens, checked the list they’d written down, and turned into a supermarket. Normally, they’d do their shopping in Cannibal Town—it was safer, and the fruit was as fresh as could be in Hell (until (Y/N) learned how to grow fruit, that was). However, Cannibal Town didn’t exactly sell the right type of meat for the Hazbin Hotel. Therefore, (Y/N) was running errands.

            They wandered through the aisles, grabbing the weird, hellish versions of chicken, beef, and pork. (Y/N) tossed it in a basket and went to pay. They saw some sinners staring at them, but (Y/N) focused on their errands instead of reacting. After their fight against Adam and his later death had been televised, (Y/N) had gotten plenty of stares. Some were afraid, some were in disbelief, some were in awe, and still others were condescending, unable to comprehend that a new sinner could be that strong.

            (Y/N) didn’t care. They’d been helping their friends—their family. So of course they’d fought as hard as they could. And Adam was the sort of “righteous” person that deserved to feel the consequences of his actions.

            (Y/N) bought the food—at a discount of fear, they suspected—and headed to the door. As they headed towards it, two demons—Victorian, at least, by the outfits—began to whisper.

            “I can’t believe how far society has degenerated,” said the woman in disgust. “Look at that dress! It’s so short.” What that meant was that it didn’t cover (Y/N)’s ankles, which was a horrendous sight to the woman. It wasn’t short by any means. “Revolting, honestly.”

            “It’s no wonder there are more sinners than ever,” said the man. “People look like they live in sin before they even make it here.”

            Whisper was perhaps an understatement. The words were clear and carried. (Y/N) slowed, knowing who they were talking away as people glanced at them warily.

            “And so many claim they’re not men or women? Or that being with men when they’re men wasn’t the sin that brought them here?” The woman scoffed.

            “Utterly ridiculous,” said the man. “We may have stole, but at least our lifestyles weren’t sins.”

            (Y/N) spun on their hell and looked at the man and woman. The cashiers in the store and everyone who recognized them froze. The man and woman were blissfully unaware, so they just smirked at the smaller demon—they had the advantage of being tall, insect-like demons.

            “Do you think you’re better than some sinners? You’re in Hell, just like the rest of us,” said (Y/N). “So who cares who’s with who or how they dress? The only one who cares are archaic demons like you who couldn’t hack it in life and can’t hack it here.”

            “Excuse me, young lady!” said the woman. “We were respected—”

            “Not a lady,” said (Y/N), and their eyes narrowed. A small flowerbox outside began to grow at a rapid rate. “And obviously not. If you were this-this judgmental when you’re as ‘bad’ as you think we are, then no one respected you. And no one respects you now.”

            They had and still struggled with bad thoughts about themself, their identity. They knew murder had brought them to Hell, but their identity…their parents had always forced them into a box (Y/N) couldn’t fit into. They had the exact thoughts of these people. They handled it with more force against (Y/N). But (Y/N) was getting better. They weren’t—they weren’t the sin. Their existence wasn’t wrong.

            “We barely stole. We didn’t live and wallow in sin as if it was something to be proud of,” said the man. “It’s a sickness, and if the Princess really wanted to save sinners, she’d get people like you, young man, out of that life of sin.” He stared at (Y/N)’s outfit. “Like getting men out of dresses for a start.”

            “Not a man,” said (Y/N). Another warning, and the people in the store were backing away.

            “You’re one of those?” said the woman.

            “And they think you can be saved?” The man looked at them like they were something rotten, and (Y/N)’s stomach turned over as they saw the looks in their mother and father’s eyes in this man’s. “The only way that could happen is if they beat the ugly queerness out of you.”

            (Y/N)’s throat constricted, and the phantom sensation of scars opening up on their back ran hot as the rest of their skin turned ice cold. The entire room turned dark, and sinners fled as they saw plants blotting out the windows and the sun.

            “Beat me?” (Y/N)’s voice was low, hoarse as they spoke through the lack of airflow pressing down on their lungs. “Beat me? You…You monsters. The reason you’re in Hell isn’t that you stole. It’s that you treat other people as things.” So many people here still did. Adam had done that to sinners. Valentino and his fucking contracts. Vox sucking people dry of energy. This was the real rot in Hell, the realest sinners. “I despise people like you.”

            A shower of glass punctuated their words, and vines shot through the window. They grabbed the man and woman, and they cried out as thorns torn through their skin. (Y/N) flicked a wrist, and the vines dragged them out of the store, screaming and kicking. They dragged them down into the flower bed of dirt until only their heads were exposed, like demented flowers.

            (Y/N) glared. “I’d kill you, but I can’t be bothered.” They stepped carefully over broken glass and stared down at the heads. “In the future, shut up. Your mouth got you into this problem, and if you keep running it, I will personally remove it.”

            They glanced back at the store where people were fearfully peeking out. (Y/N) pulled out some more money and tossed it back into the store. “For your window.”

            They walked away, feeling the gaze of people on their back. They swallowed. They knew it was fear. But was that what (Y/N) wanted? They had just—They had remembered—They couldn’t stand there and take it anymore. (Y/N) had lost it. It happened sometimes. More these days.

            But (Y/N) wasn’t ashamed of who they were. They couldn’t just stand there and let themself be shamed for something that wasn’t shameful. (Y/N) was who they were. No one could change that.

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            “Thanks for doing the shopping,” said Charlie, putting the food away.

            “No problem,” said (Y/N), sitting down. “Had to deal with some bigoted sinners.”

            Vaggie frowned. “What?” If (Y/N) had gotten bothered, she wasn’t letting them go out alone.

            “They just made some comments about queer people’s ‘lifestyles,’ ” said (Y/N).

            “Ugh,” said Angel Dust. “Those types are the worst.”

            “Are you okay?” asked Husk.

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N). “I buried them.”

            The four adults exchanged looks at (Y/N)’s matter-of-fact tone.

            “You what?” said Vaggie.

            “Dragged them into dirt.” (Y/N) waved their hand in the same motion. “Taught them a lesson.”

            “(Y/N), violence isn’t the answer,” said Charlie worriedly.

            “I didn’t kill them. And their heads are sticking out,” said (Y/N). “But they were saying—” beat the queerness out “—I couldn’t stand there and do nothing.”

            “Well, I think our sprout did the right thing!” said Alastor, appearing out of nowhere. “They exercised refrain but also didn’t roll over like a coward!”

            “Being kind isn’t being a coward,” argued Charlie.

            Alastor laughed, clearly disagreeing.

            “Listen, Charlie,” said (Y/N). “I’m sorry. Really. But some of what they were saying—the idea that you should beat the queerness—” they forced the words from their throat “—out of us—I couldn’t just…”

            Husk and Angel exchanged glances. (Y/N) never completely explained their situation in life. They knew (Y/N) had killed their parents, but they knew no other details. They had their suspicions of abuse, though, by the church, by their parents, for their identity, for standards no one could meet. It angered both men, and if they had a chance, they both personally wanted to teach (Y/N)’s parents a lesson for what they’d done to the innocent kid. They wouldn’t be in Hell if whatever had pushed them hadn’t happened. Husk and Angel didn’t doubt that their parents had been the catalyst. (Y/N)’s instincts didn’t lean towards harm unless their triggers appeared, and then it was fight or flight.

            Charlie seemed to come to the same realization, and she calmed. “It’s okay. Just…be careful. You’re a good kid, (Y/N). I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

            “Thanks,” said (Y/N).

            “Where did this happen?” asked Alastor.

            Everyone looked at him in surprise, and Angel and Husk exchanged glances.

            “Um, Alastor? What are you going to do?” said Charlie warily, though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She had to stop further violence from Hazbin Hotel guests, though. (But Alastor wasn’t technically a guest, so he didn’t care).

            “I want to see their heads sticking up!” laughed Alastor. “Squirming and wriggling like worms.” He clearly found the entire thing entertaining.

            Angel and Husk felt a little different. They still hadn’t figured out what Alastor’s around (Y/N) were, and it worried them. He had taught them to use their abilities, and (Y/N) had grown stronger because of it, but why did Alastor care? What game was he playing? It was doubtless that he had a game, an angle. Alastor couldn’t just care about the kid. Not this quickly, no way. Husk doubted Alastor was even capable of caring about another person without profiting from them. So what was he planning for (Y/N)?

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            Alastor stood over the pathetic insects—almost literally—in the dirt. They had managed to get their torso’s partly out of the earth, caked in mud. The sinners had all left the street as the Radio Demon approached, and now he and his prey were the only people left.

            “My, my,” said Alastor, his large smile not leaving his face. “Two plants trying to escape.”

            The sinners paled as they looked at Alastor. They recognized him.

            “We can’t have that, can we? You were freshly planted,” said Alastor.

            Shadows rose into the air, and screams filled the street a moment later. Come morning, the flower bed would have arms, legs, and heads sticking out of the ground, blood drying on the stumps of their limbs.