Chapter Text
I was sitting in my extremely sterile room that looks like a psych ward with cds when i heard the front door unlock. I walked downstair so see my super hot boyfriend - RIvers Cuomo - standing in the doorway with his guitar. "omg babe, I've missed you so much!!" I said. He walked up to me and kissed me with the force of a thousand weezer songs. god hes so hot. "as I pulled back i looked into his beautiful hot blue shining transfixing eyes and said "you're an incel, aren't you?" Rivers repied "of course, babe. you know this" and we passionately kissed for 57 minutes" i led him upsatirs to the super sterile bedroom with the cds, a wide smirk on my face. "we dont need girls babe, weve got eachother" i siad. rivers nodded. "and thats all we need. no lesbians who dont want us, just us forever and ever, amen" "While we were kissing and talking about how much we hate girls, the doorbell rang. "Rivers, hide in the closet RIGHT NOW" i quickly grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head, messing up my attractive curls as i ran down the stairs to the door. To my dismay, my boyfriend Robbie was at the door, waiting for me. As he entered the house, Rivers (who is a complete idiot) yells from upstairs "WHO IS IT?" Robbie ave me a look that felt like a thousand daggers" and then there was a knock at the door. i groaned and answered it and i saw my bf robbie?!?! "omg alex, who is that??" he shouted when he saw rivers (whos shirtless cuz hes so hot). "no one!! robbie please!" cried i. robbie looked super hurt. "How could you do this to me? after all weve been through? were done." and tahts how i, the nicest and bestest guy ever, got super traumatized by cavetown but its ok cuz weezer fixed it t