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He is going to scold him when he wakes up.
It was the only thought that was in Tsukishima's mind at the time, it had been the only one he had for what felt like an eternity now.
It was the only way to keep himself from thinking about the possibility of the younger man never opening his eyes…
…and it was all his fault.
They had gone to an important meeting in Tokyo, and Koito had wanted to go eat something after it, letting Tsukishima choose the place. He recalled there was a restaurant he remembered going to that sold good rice around the area, and so they went.
It was a cozy place, and Tsukishima was a bit surprised at how at home Koito seemed to be there. He laughed and said he had come a few times with classmates while he was in the academy, when they wanted to eat something better than what they were served there.
They spent the time chatting at the place; it was the most relaxing evening they had for quite some time.
Tsukishima should have known something would happen.
They were going back to an inn they were staying in before going back to Hokkaido. Tsukishima had to admit he was distracted, too comfortable to pay attention to his surroundings, which is why he didn’t notice a man approaching them from the alley nor the fact that he had a knife.
Koito did notice, and he moved him to the side, making a move to draw his sword, but the seconds he wasted moving Tsukishima made him too slow, and the man managed to stab Koito. The younger man didn’t react and kicked him away.
All that happened in the seconds it took Tsukishima to react and go for the man, using his strength to pin him to the ground and quickly knock him out. He looked up at Koito to ask if he was ok, and saw the younger man leaning against the wall, his hand on his abdomen, red with his own blood.
The knife had come out of his body when he kicked the man, and a lot of blood was coming out of the injury. Tsukishima got up instantly to inspect it, and while he did, Koito joked that they now had a similar wound, which Tsukishima didn’t find amusing; seeing the cut seemed deep, and the amount of blood he was losing wasn’t a good sight.
They had to go to a hospital, and Tsukishima decided the quickest way was to carry Koito; he could run like that, and when the younger man didn’t complain, he knew things were truly dire.
Koito lost consciousness the moment they arrived at the hospital and haven’t woken up ever since, the doctors told him the knife that had stabbed him had something that had infected the wound, and after their treatment, all they could do was wait for him to wake up.
If he ever did.
Four days had passed, and Koito didn’t show any sign of stirring.
If he had just been alert, this wouldn’t have happened. It was his fault, and there was nothing he could do to fix it. He was supposed to be there to help Koito, but at the end, he just stood there and let him get hurt; he let him down in every way.
He should have followed Tsurumi on that train; maybe if he had, Koito would have been with someone who could do his job properly, and Koito wouldn’t be dying on a bed in a hospital.
Staying by his side had been a mistake, and they were both paying the price of that choice.
After all, men like him don’t deserve a happy ending.