Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Iron is a very distinct smell, even from afar you can smell a hint of it, taste it even. Noel can feel his head about to explode as hot liquid oozes from his temple, the taste of hot iron visiting his cheek towards his lip and to his mouth.

Blood. He can taste his own blood.

Reaching out for something with his trembling hands, his mind tries to focus through the haziness, feeling his breath wavering unsteadily. Once Noel’s fingers touched the gun he gripped it tightly.

Who exactly will he shoot at? Noel is unable to stand from his kneeling form as the blood begins to take a massive effect on him rendering only a breathing ragdoll waiting to be killed. His fate however managed to be kind as heavy footsteps sounded around thin walls.

His ears feel the hollow echo of danger seeping through his heart as it continues to pump with all its weak strength that his body can currently take. 

A man, he guessed from the form of a heavily armed soldier, walked towards him in slow calculative steps, slow but dangerous, careful but deadly. It’s as if they’re scanning if he’s still alive. While he is for now, Noel can only move his eyelids as his fingers are too paralyzed to use the gun.

Will he actually die? Noel keeps thinking about any regrets he made before kicking the bucket. From all the things he could think of Noel can only name ones that were tame. Like from natural causes or car crashes, but being targeted by an organisation isn’t what he expected, especially when he never did anything that can offend anyone.

Retracing any steps he could miss from his journey, he finally opens his mouth as the man in the armour begins to point a pistol on his head.

Mustering out the words, it feels as if his body moved in an uncoordinated way instead of his mind just thinking of what he’s going to see.

With soft, pained breath Noel looks at death in the eyes for the first time before seeing the faded shadow of the soldier, already predicting what will happen in less than a second.

“Son…of a bitch..”

The sound of the gunshot is the only thing heard in the room.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Multiple seasons ago:

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? What’s your purpose in the world? Why specifically you out of all the sperms racing for life to be a newborn baby? Noel never really expected to have an answer that he feels sure with.

Sure, there is science and the whole theory thing with God picking you out of your million unborn siblings but really why are we here? He always thought the universe is something people thought was simple when they first heard of it, then there’s professionals or just people with common sense that know it’s much more wide and complicated than that.

It’s like the universe is alive or something, he doesn’t know.

A few weeks had passed and Noel had survived living on his own, no burning the stove, no used clothes scattered on the floor and definitely no clogged toilets, considering the time the restroom in his elementary school had a toilet that didn't clog waste and just let the sad shit float on the dirty water.

Noel did receive calls occasionally from his parents to let them know how well his stay was and it was decent at most. No dirty walls, floor or ceilings but the apartment is definitely not new at all as there were a lot of dust bunnies the time he moved in.

Cleaning a whole apartment isn’t Noel’s thing but who else would do it? Besides, it’s been a while since he has worked out so why not move his limbs for more than an hour? Sure his job will be half-assed but hey it’s his apartment now, no one’s gonna tell him what’s clean or not when everything will be marked by the new neighbour.

Speaking of a new neighbour, he feels like it’s time to explore every nook and cranny in his new home. Nothing too extravagant, he just wants to be familiar with where things will be once he unpack his bags. Surveying through the kitchen that stands beside the entrance by the door, he opens each closet before grimacing at the putrid smell of a rotten opened milk carton and a couple of expired food.

“Shit, do they even check everything before allowing me to stay here?”

Noel groans quietly as he picks up several containers and throws them into the trash bag. Highly unlikely they would, considering this apartment is cheap as fuck. And it’s solely the reason why he picks this place anyways.

A little bit of bad service but cheaper than what his parents would earn. Now he’s beginning to rethink his choices. Noel doesn’t have to stay in an apartment since his mom would allow him to stay as long as he gets a decent job to which he believes it’s too much coddling. And his dad hates it when his mom does that.

Washing his hands from the sticky substance of the expired materials he began to move the boxes in separate directions so as to not get blocked all the time when he needed to walk around. While he didn’t pack much of his stuff, mainly figures and souvenirs, most are just presents he received from his mom, new clothes, packed foods, and old picture frames.

Noel can picture this place being just like his old hideout which is a treehouse by his grandma’s yard, it has been a while since he has visited, especially when his friends and old classmates came to play some smash and shooter games. Maybe he can invite them again once he finishes settling in. And get a job. It was the very first thing in his list to do once he leaves his childhood home. 

He let out a sigh. Maybe he can find a job online later. Once Nigel finishes moving the boxes, a doorbell was heard from outside followed by knocking. 

“Yes?” Noel called out, wiping dust from his hands before going towards the door. He twisted the knob to open it. Maybe he forgot to grab one last box, once the door is fully opened Noel looks around expecting to be met by one of the staff only to see no one.

Huh, what the fuck.

Is someone pulling a prank on him already? Noel shrugs before quickly closing the door. Oh well. Seems like the neighbours are douchebags, nothing new, he’ll just learn to ignore them eventually.

Too tired to think about the strange knocking Noel didn’t notice a silhouette creeping up from the window curtains behind him.

Walking to his new room, Noel flopped to the soft mattress before groaning. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day, he knows it. Whatever God will give him or anyone observing this world, he wants them to know that he’ll be sleeping through it all.

He didn’t really expect for himself to be that tired as a headache finally formed. Noel can only let out a whimper as his body gave out the last energy he held a while ago from cleaning and moving the furniture in his new home.

Once he closed his eyes, Noel swore he saw something (or someone) peeking outside his room. After all that. He can only imagine that he’ll be dreaming for a long time.

————————————————

It could be the alarm clock.

Or a gust of wind. Pretty sure he didn’t place the clock on the desk yet and is still in the box laying in the corner.

His ears were the first to wake up as noises of murmuring were getting louder.

Is it just him or are there actually people in his room? Oh well, it was always like that at home, nothing foreign about that. Maybe if he pretends to ignore it and keeps sleeping they would stop messing with him and get out. He’ll make sure to check if they close the door this time.

Wait, who are these people anyway. And isn’t he supposed to be in his new apartment right now? So basically having people in his room is already a bad thing.

Noel let out a gasp as he forced a jolt to wake his drowsy body up.

”Fuck! You gave me a scare.”

An unfamiliar voice rang Noel’s ear as he turned to see a tall figure looming over him. Is that man seriously wearing a soldier outfit? Seriously? If his neighbours weren't rude minutes ago then this is just ridiculous.

What’s more ridiculous is that Noel notices how he’s not on his bed anymore. The fuck’s going on?

”We’re about to drop you two off so get your supplies ready, soldier.” The man barks out before walking out of Noel’s sight.

Is he getting kidnapped right now? No he doesn’t think so as he isn’t tied up except getting strapped in a seat belt on some kind of plane. Now how the fuck did this happen? Is he dreaming?

Looking down to place his aching head on his palm he suddenly feels rough leather instead of soft skin. Looking around he notices how his vision seems limited and.. quite like looking at a perspective of a recording camera. A nice quality at that. 

What is he wearing? Pretty sure he didn’t remember wearing an astronaut suit when he fell asleep. Definitely dreaming.

Before he could voice out his confusion, a voice piped up in front of him. He didn’t notice another person sitting on the other side of the plane- or flying vehicle he’s in.

”Hello! Pretty tired to be sleeping throughout the whole trip huh?” A voice of static ran in Noel’s ears, damn what a sound of quality.

A  man wearing heavy blue armour and helmet with an orange visor looks at him in an expectant manner. Noel figured out that’s basically what he’s wearing too considering his vision and his own breathing that reaches his ears.

So he’s definitely dreaming that he’s some kind of astronaut, noted. Sounds like it will be a fun adventure though he never had a want to be going around space, it’s quite the opposite. Or maybe he must be some kind of space warrior, that might explain the HUD helmet with the circles and the bars on the side of his vision.

”Um.. yeah.” Noel responds as he flinches by how weird and hollow his voice sounds. Quite realistic if you ask him, especially how his breath fogs the screen.

“You know, I tried sleeping but this pelican keeps moving around the air. I feel like my body would tumble over, you must be quite the deep sleeper.” The soldier guy comments in what seems like a joking manner.

Huh so that's what he’s in right now. Eh, a pelican’s still a plane. Noel stands by his words.

“So, what’s our mission.. sir?” Noel asks the blue soldier to which the soldier tilt his head staring at him before replying.

”What do you mean?”

“I mean.. where exactly are we going?”

Did Noel guess wrong on what this dream is supposed to put him in?

”Ohhh! We’re here to represent our team which is blue and eliminate the enemy which is.. the opposite of blue. Yeah.” The blue soldier said before introducing himself. “I’m Michael J. Caboose. How ‘bout you?”

Michael J- wait that name sounds familiar to Noel. To think of it, the guy’s appearance, or suit in the matter looks also similar. Where has he seen him before?

Blinking away his thoughts Noel quickly replies. “Noel Beav, nice to meet you.”

”Nice to meet you too! Though I heard we should use our last names, so call me Caboose!” Michael- er Caboose says as he leans in towards Nigel for a handshake to which he obliges if not for the sudden announcement of the soldier that woke him up.

“Hey! You two can continue your acquaintanceship when you’re already out! And hurry it up, I need to go back to command for a pickup!” 

“Okay!” Caboose calls back.

The handshake still stayed in place. Man is Caboose, quite a gripper. If it stays much longer his own Hand will become purple underneath the glove.

Once Caboose lets go he picks up a bag before the door to the back of the pelican opens. Noel, still wanting to play along with the space soldier shtick, picked a bag lying beside him and followed the soldier. 

Once they both stepped out to the field with the pelican already flying away, a beeping noise was heard on both their wrists. Nigel looked down to see a screen on the suit, damn. A screen on armour? It’s pretty clear this dream is based on futuristic things, imagine how badass that would be if it’s real. A hologram then rise from the screen letting out a text saying:

<Blood Gulch: Noel Beav 1400>

<Designed outpost: Alpha>  

Alpha? Blood Gulch? Is this what this place is called? What kind of place is called Blood Gulch, sounds quite badass but also sounds like it belongs in some action game, but unlike the cool name, Blood Gulch is just a canyon of nothing but the dull colour of sand and dead grass. The trees lost all of their leaves and lay as ornaments and anything that’s visitor worthy is nowhere to be seen.

The longer he looks around the moment he realises how small this canyon is if he were to stay here any longer. Damn what a boring place.

Noel raises his head to see Caboose and holy shit he hasn’t even noticed till now considering Caboose was sitting in the pelican that time. The blue soldier right in front of him must do some kind of sport because no way is a normal person built like that. 7 feet? No wait, that guy must be around 6 feet, he thinks.

Caboose, who didn’t notice Noel’s stare began to look around the area as if to find something. 

“What are you doing?”

“Finding the base.”

Noel raises a brow behind his helmet. “Base?”

Caboose stared at him before being cheerful again. “Right! You have temporary amnesia.”

Is that what he thinks? “I Don’t-“

“All I know about our job is that we’re blue and the enemies are red, and our main objective is to kill them all. There are also bases here for both teams.”

“Oh.” He kind of gets it. Kind of. “Wait, both bases are here? This place doesn’t seem big.”

“Does it matter?”

“I think so.” Noel hasn't seen the bases yet but it feels like it would be a footwalk towards the enemy location. Either way it just seems quite unfair and dumb to camp close to the enemy. “Won’t we be at a disadvantage?”

“I dunno. I’m just new here like you. Just signed up a few papers and dropped here by command with you.” Caboose said though something tells Noel he should stop asking more questions.

“Right.” Noel looks around and spots something in the far right of the field. Looks like some kind of building. Getting Caboose’s attention Noel called him as he gestured towards the building. “That’s the base right?”

He wonders how there could be enemy bases near each other in one area. It's like asking for a massive warzone. Though right now The place seemed peaceful, there could probably be a trap or some spies, anything Noel can think of that’s related to war stuff. 

Caboose turns to where he is pointing and leans his head as if to squint before shaking head. “That’s the red base. That is a base. But that’s not the base.”

What? “What do you mean- how do you know if that’s the red base?”

“There’s a sign that says ‘blues stay away’.”

Caboose says before pointing at a sign right beside the entrance, it’s really far away. Noel doesn’t know how that guy can even see or read that far but the sign is actually pretty big, written in red spray paint with a dead person which he guesses it’s a blue.

The sign looks very old like it was made years ago.

“So, if that’s the red base then our base must be on the other side.” Noel said as he saw another building right in the middle of his vision and way on the edge of the other side of the canyon. He then began to walk over there.

“Neat. My side or your side?”

Noel stops his tracks. “What?”

Caboose who was following him stopped as well looking at him “What?”

He wonders why the pelican just doesn’t drop the both of them in front of the base. While walking is no problem, walking around with the suits feels like being in a costume where your body has to do the heavy lifting. Pretty much the same feeling Noel felt when he tried a mascot suit for his cousin’s birthday party.

As they both reached towards the entrance of the blue base, Noel let his brain process how everything here is familiar to him. ‘Is it just me or are both bases just similar looking?’

It’s not really his fault if he’d get lost considering there isn’t really much distinct colour except the grey outline of the walls and ancient patterns.

“Those must be the other soldiers of our team!” 

Caboose’s loud voice brought Noel from his thoughts as he pointed at a mountain right beside the base and two armoured looking astronauts standing next to each other, at least one of them is standing, the other is kneeling while holding a rifle. Woah are they about to go into action?

Though he notices how different the colour of their armour is compared to his and Caboose that is wearing the similar blue scheme, not that he’s complaining, blue’s a cool colour but he prefers something much darker.

“I wonder what they’re talking about.” Noel says as he sees the two soldiers moving their heads while looking at each other, it’s hard to know if they’re actually talking but they are bobbing their heads so definitely talking?

“Probably discussing cool stuff about how to destroy the reds, or something like that.” Caboose shrugs his shoulders before cupping his hands over his helmet-mouth. 

“HEY! HI! HELLO! WE’RE YOU’RE NEW RECRUITS THAT ARRIVED JUST NOW!”

Noel winces at how loud Caboose’s voice can go and honestly with the two soldiers being way high up from the cliff and just minding their own business they looked like they just jumped from a sea of lava.

A ‘What the fuck!’ was heard from down here before the one holding the sniper rifle looked down at us.

MOTHER FU-! YOU’RE BLOWING OUR COVER!”

Oh ouch. What a nice impression on their teammates. The static voices from different soldiers still bothers his ears as it sounds like a radio getting tuned up after a hard fix. Though Noel understands the frustration of the man and how much concentration will be put as a sniper. He’d probably be mad too if he were to be jumped on especially by someone on the same team since he had experience from playing Shooting games.

“Um Church. I don’t think our cover even matters, we're not exactly hidden you know?” The teal? Cyan? Turquoise? Aqua coloured soldier points out to the enraged cobalt soldier. 

“Shut up Tucker.”

“Wow, didn't expect you to actually be pissy.”

“Oh I have been pissy from the start.” The cobalt soldier, Church, hissed. “It’s just right now this is my breaking point!”

The aqua soldier’s shoulder slumped as if rolling his eyes at this very moment. “I wonder why.”

“Oh let me tell you why. Imagine you were just sitting here the whole day, not bitching about chicks like you normally would, just watching the enemy and once the enemy finally talks about their devious plan, some crazy shithead manages to ruin that by YELLING AT THE LOOKOUT!!” Once Church explains to the aqua coloured soldier he then finishes his sentence looking at Noel and Caboose but specifically Caboose, Noel wonders why.

Or maybe not since they both are wearing the same coloured armour. “What I just said is sarcasm, I don’t need to hear you complain like a whiny bitch.”

“I know that.”

Tucker shook his head as he raised his finger. “Okay first of all, we were just sitting our asses the whole day, doing absolutely nothing. Since when does interesting things ever happen around here, even evil stuff like stealing candy is more exciting then what the reds are doing right now-”

Church cuts his teammate off. “But you don’t know what the reds are doing, isn't that why you keep asking me what they're up to?”

“Shut the fuck up dude.” The aqua soldier quickly shushes him. “Secondly, you have the fucking sniper rifle to see if anyone is coming to our base, and you were also screaming so basically you got double found out.”

“Double found out? Are you fucking serious Tucker?” Church stressed, wow he definitely seems like a sunny guy. “So what if I’m holding a sniper rifle, this baby is for long distance only, plus you are the lookout, the one who will let me know if there are things that bypass my vision to which you failed. It’s time to pack your bags soldier.” 

Tucker gave him the middle finger.

Both rookies just watch the soldiers argue with each other from below.

“So those are our seniors? Seems like they are fun to be around.” Noel comments sarcastically in a dry manner.

“Yeahh..” Caboose nods slowly. “Wonder if they like orange juice, that makes me feel a lot better.”

Noel chose to ignore that. “Hey, I lost count on how many times they just curse at each other. Should we try to stop them?”

“But aren’t they going to be mad at us?”

“Well it’s either that or all four of us will stay out here open to the eyes of the enemy.”

Caboose stares at him before agreeing. “Good point.”

Both rookies ran towards the side of the base to where The path way of the cliff was shown in the back. Reaching the edge of the cliff, they stop to catch their breath, for Noel’s case at least, Caboose looks fine as if he didn’t run at all. With a build like that Noel can see why.

Turning his focus towards the two bickering soldiers, Noel tries to get their attention. But of course it’s quite impossible when one soldier appears to be snarky and the other one is a smartass. Which describes who? Why not both.

“Um..” As soon as he tries to speak it feels like he’s been intentionally ignored.

“You know, it’s always with you Tucker.” The snarky teammate said.

“What did I do?” The smartass bites back. “I’m not the one being irritated all the time. I mean it when I said that you should try jacking off sometime. Works like a charm.”

“Because I’m not a bitch baby that tries to defend himself that he failed as a lookout. You’re lucky it’s just two useless rookies or our ass is dead by now. Yours first then mine!”

“Guys.” Noel tries another attempt to get in between. 

“At least I don’t miss any shots on that rifle! If you could just let me use it, that’s be fuckin’ great!”

Church scoffs. “Yeah right as if I’ll let that happen.”

“You’re not even good at it!”

“Hey Tucker. If I die one day from your stupidity, my ghost ass would never let you touch it, I’ll haunt the fucking rifle. If you ever try to use it, I’ll make sure the bullet hits straight to your face instead of the enemy.”

“Well why don’t you use something else you got to hit my face with?!” Tucker shot back before recoiling. “Wait, I take that back.”

“Yeah, not an insult buddy. That’s just poor, try hard behaviour.”

Noel turns to Caboose. “I give up.”

“Oh. That’s fast.” Caboose said in surprise before sounding worried. “What are we going to do now?”

“How about you try?”

“Me?” 

Noel shrugged as he suggested. “Why not. You’re way bigger than me, you can stop them. If they’re still trying to insult each other to death, try using physical force.”

“Wouldn’t that be-”

“Caboose!”

“Alright alright!” Caboose let out a sigh before slowly walking towards them. Noel took a step back to make sure. One of those guys holds a fucking rifle okay, there’s nothing else to do except to watch and be safe just in case the soldier accidentally fires in anger. 

Do people even die in their dreams?

As Tucker and Church are in their own screamfest, Caboose then tries to talk through the noise.

“Hello? Hello. Hellooooo-“

“WHAT?!” Both soldiers turn to look at him.

“Oh. Hello!” Caboose greets them eagerly. “My name is Caboose! The guy behind me is Beaver, we’re the Rookies added to your team.”

“Wait.” Noel, who was listening to Caboose’s introduction, began to pop out into view. “Caboose! That’s not my last name-“

“No shit you’re our rookies, you’re wearing blue armour.” Tucker said before walking towards Caboose and Noel, while he is wearing a helmet it’s still ridiculous to see the guy scratching the back of his head as if it’s gonna affect inside. “Sorry about that, it’s been a while since we interacted with other people except ourselves and the Reds.”

“Wait, so how long have you been here?” Noel asks. He looks around to see if there’s anybody else in this area only to see no one coming. Is it just Church and Tucker?

Tucker looks down before answering. “Um.. what day is it today?”

“Um..” Noel pauses before he can say anything, does real life count? “Saturday, I think.”

“Eh, around a couple of months, give or take, a year maybe.”

That long?! Here?! Noel knows he’s in a dream but that’s crazy. If it were him living in a canyon with no other entertainment except to fight a bunch of enemies, he’d definitely die from boredom. 

But they’re soldiers so it’s possible that their team must have been a lot of people before, unless it’s just them because that would still be fucking insane.

“Yeah it’s not as bad as you think except that there ain’t any chicks here.” Tucker drawls as he took Noel’s silence correctly. 

“So.. it’s just you guys and the enemies in a box canyon. Are there some new recruits whenever you kill any of them, is that why you’re still here?”

“The reds? Nah they’re the same people.”

“What? Then what have you guys been doing to them this whole time then?!”

Tucker Shrug. “Talking.”

“As in like a truce or?”

“Nope, just talking, trust me when I say that all of them are idiots.” The Aqua soldier said in a condescending manner. “Sure they're our enemies but they’re basically harmless… well most of the time but you guys got nothin’ to worry about.”

Noel is beginning to question what exactly is going on in this world. Is this even a dream? He’s not so sure anymore.

“So we’ll just stay here for how long until the war’s over?”

“Dunno. I hardly care for any of those.” Tucker waves his hand in a lazy manner. “I’m more of a lover than a fighter.”

Frustration swells through the blue armoured rookie’s nerves. “Then why the heck are you here?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions, rookie. Just so you know I don’t swing that way.”

“What..?”

Tucker’s comment surprised Noel in an unpleasant way before the rookie grimaced underneath his helmet. Now how did he even come up with that?!

The aqua coloured soldier shrugged, not affected whatsoever. “Just making sure dude. Since there aren’t any girls to fuck, it’s most likely that we’d all become gay.”

“…” Noel didn’t say anything. Pretty sure five years staying in Blood Gulch has infested that guy’s head. He’ll just ignore all of that and label them as being Tucker’s personality, that is his name right?

“Are you against gay people?”

“What? Now why’d you assume that?!”

“I dunno, just making sure dude.” Noel bites back, not sure if he’s trying to joke or not.

“I just prefer holes over poles.” Tucker said firmly. It took a silent moment before he spoke up once again. “Y’know, va-”

The rookie immediately cuts him off. “Okay I got it from your first sentence, no need to simplify!”

“Alright.” Tucker said before whispering. “Virgin.”

Noel felt the tinge of annoyance coming back. “Just show us around the goddamn base already.”

The Aqua soldier Shrug in response. “Eh sure. I didn’t do anything for the past 10 hours. Man, I really need to stretch my legs. I've been standing watching Church’s ass all day.”

As Tucker says that, he raised both his arms before dragging them back before spreading his legs to stretch his muscles. Sounds of bones cracking were heard and he let out a satisfying groan.

Jesus does his skin not ache from the rubbing on that armour? Ouch. Man, being a soldier sucks. Why doesn’t Noel’s dream change into something else? 

“Hold on, where’s Church?”

“I'm pretty sure it’s far away. I didn’t know there’s even a church near here, but you wouldn’t be asking me if you knew.” Noel replies. “I dunno man, I’m just new here.”

Tucker stared at Noel as if he said something weird. “I mean where is Church? The human! I’m not even religious!”

Oh right that’s the other guy’s last name isn’t it. What an odd name. Before Noel could answer Caboose did it for him which he doesn’t mind since he didn’t notice The sniper Guy leaving already just a few seconds ago.

“Oh he walked away, says he has to speak to Command.” Caboose said behind them.

“Wow. Is that douche seriously bailing on ambassador duty?” Tucker muttered as he began to walk down The cliff. “Follow me, it’ll be a quick tour since there’s nothing to see much in this cramped up canyon.”

“Cool. I can’t wait to see my room!” 

Tucker laughs dryly at Caboose’s enthusiasm. “Yeah.. prepare to be disappointed. Not sure if the beds were ever cleaned since the day we arrived here.”

Noel scrunched his face by the thought of a crusty, brown mattress. Great. When can he wake up now? Now that he thinks of it, he really felt like he’s actually wearing armour because damn the plates were messing with his muscles. And he can definitely feel the heat from the sun above them, shocker that he’s not sweating as much. Imagine if this armour has a cooler inside, now that would be epic.

The tour went quite more uneventfully than Noel hoped. Besides Tucker’s lacklustre tour guiding skills, there really is nothing memorable about the base, both in and out. The walls were rusty and the stuff in the building is very unkempt, his mom would go ballistic if she sees all this. The room is the size of a bathroom with only small space to move around, and the bathroom itself is.. Very lacking in equipment. No mirrors, a bucket with some water that has dirt particles, and dirty brush and old toothbrushes that are used for ages.

It’s pretty weird that it shows you have three toothbrushes instead of two so maybe a blue soldier here must have died? The dishevelled brush on the third toothbrush is much less untidy than the two so maybe. 

Tucker also shows a room where there are machines to help on taking off the suits, which makes sense since it’s very heavy and difficult to be taken off by one person. What surprises Noel is that each suit is specifically designed by their wearer. Wow, so much thought was put into his dream that maybe he can make a book out of this someday. He suddenly found an idea for a job, nice. 

But besides the unnecessary things Noel has in his mind, he began to rate the new home abode. All in all, everything in the base lacks hygiene. 0/10.

“And here’s our flag!” Tucker’s voice thankfully pulled him out of his own thoughts. 

Caboose stares at the flag for a while before asking. “What’s the flag for?”

That made the aqua soldier whip his head towards the rookie. “Are you seriously asking that? Didn't the command just explain this to you?”

“Um.. no?” The blue giant answered in a careful tone. “Is it a bad thing..?”

“Someone must not have paid attention, how bout you Rookie number 2?”

Noel blinked at the name, just by looking at Tucker’s visor directed towards him he can only guess. “Are you talking to me?”

“Um, yeah! Rookie Number 1.” Tucker pointed his thumb to Caboose then towards him. “Rookie Number 2. I’ll say your names once I remember them. And if I care enough to.”

Noel was about to say something snarky but stopped himself and instead tried to guess. “Is it because we’re presenting the Blue Team?”

“Beats me, I didn’t know either.” Tucker shrugged.

Okay what the fuck, he acts as if Caboose committed a felony but turns out he’s also just as bad. It’s weird how this dream is a bit out of his control, doesn’t dreams change normally based on the person’s mind? Definitely feels realistic. 

Back on the flag shtick, Noel was not at all amused. “You’re such a fucking douche. You know that right?”

“I know. Heard girls love a kind of guy like this.”

“My mom doesn’t.” Caboose pipes up.

“Really? That’s not what she told me last night.”

The giant grew quiet after that and Noel felt the need to take a step back. Doesn’t Tucker feel at least a sense of danger? He’s fucking quarter his size that dumb bitch.

“Don’t talk about my mom like that.” Instead of scolding Tucker, Caboose’s words had the same tone but held a bit of strain behind it. 

“Yeahh sorry. I never met your mom to say that.” The aqua soldier said immediately. Noel doesn’t think he noticed Caboose’s anger at all but apologised anyway. Nice to know he felt a bit of guilt. “Anyways. The flag, any questions? No? Nice.” 

“Wait.” 

Both Caboose and Tucker turn to Noel who raises his hand. “So about this mission-”

“Yes Rookie Number 2?” Tucker cut off asking.

“...Right.” Noel acknowledged before continuing. “About this mission. Have you guys ever come back home for a break? Coz y’know, observing this place. there’s rarely anything to do around here.”

Noel doesn’t know why he’s very curious about some soldiers he just met, especially when he felt a bit comfortable towards them which is weird because he’s not the type of person to warm up with someone for a day. It really feels like he’d known them from somewhere. But where?

Maybe he’s asking this because of how secluded and small this canyon is, so living here for a long time will definitely affect the way a person cares for themself. Unlike the house he used to live in with his family, there are his phone and console he could play when he’s bored. But in here just to fight a group of people to which Tucker mentioned hadn’t done anything to them and vice versa, that’s pretty unbelievable.

“Nope.” 

“Oh wait what?” Noel feels his mouth gaping. “Really?! Like at all?”

“Yeah, once you’re shipped in this place you stay in this place until the war’s over and well, a majority of people here are too lazy or too cautious to make a move.” Tucker explained. “Well.. for our case, I don’t know about the Reds.”

“Wow.. that’s crazy.”

“Well there are instances of a pickup but that’s if Command wants you to move to another Outpost.”

“Another outpost?” Caboose repeat.

“Yeah. Like Church, he once was stationed on another planet called Sidewinder, he said it’s very cold.”

“Oh. Why’d he move?” Noel asked in curiosity, how ironic for a seemingly cold person like Church stationed on a cold planet. Still don't know how to feel about his last name.

“Dunno, he didn’t tell me shit after that.” 

“What’s Sidewinder like?” 

Tucker turns to Caboose. “I just told you. It’s very cold.”

BEEEP

What’s that noise?

“Just cold?”

“Yes. Blood Gulch is very hot because it has sand and we have the sun staring at us from above. Sidewinder is cold because.. Well it’s cold, I have never been there before.”

Noel looked up, even from behind his visor, the sun can still stab his eyes. “Yeah holy shit, how did you guys stand on a cliff for hours? It must have been torturous.”

“Fuck yeah it is! Good thing we have coolers underneath the suit otherwise I’ll be a roasted Tucker.” 

“You guys should have brought water with you up there huh.”

“Yeahh.. We ran out of that three months ago.” 

“You fucking WHAT?!” Noel exclaimed. “THEN WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN DRINKING?!”

“You definitely do not want to know.” Tucker let out a sigh. “At least Command finally sends out a package together with the tank that will be delivered today. Imagine eating canned beans and wheat without choking on them, the ones we tried consuming didn’t help either.”

Yeah Noel will probably never sign up as a soldier for a job when he wakes up. He should really thank his dream for that one.

“Cool, we’re getting a tank?” At least he gets to see military equipment in this dream.

“Yeah. We should probably head to Church right now, he must be waiting for us.” Tucker walked past Noel before turning to Caboose who was.. Minding his own business. “Do you hear me Rookie Number 1? Let’s go!”

*BEEEEEEEP*

Seriously, is it just him or is something near us beeping? Could it be the enemy? Tucker didn’t seem wary at all, maybe it’s something unimportant.

“Oh- on it sir!” Caboose let his finger separate from a butterfly before walking behind, he then whispered to the shorter rookie. “Who’s Rookie Number 1 again?” 

Once the three soldiers went out of the base, Tucker turned his attention to the both of them. “So what have you guys learned on this tour?”

Noel bluntly listed with no hesitation. “There’s hardly any food and water left, only three rooms are available in the base and that the people here are all assholes.”

“And sidewinder is a very cold planet.” Caboose added. 

Tucker let out a nod. “Yeah. That’s right. Very proud of you.” 

As Tucker led them towards the front of the base. The tank was the first thing Noel saw and he immediately felt excited. Woah, there’s really a tank right in front of him, sure it’s just a dream but holy shit! It’s beautiful. Sometimes he forgot what to expect on seeing when militaries are supposed to have weapons like this. If only he can see it in real life.

“Tucker! What the fuck were you doing?!”

Beside the tank is a cobalt soldier placing both hands on his hips like an angry mom, his voice sounds pretty angry as well with an accusing tone.

“I’ve been calling you for the past few minutes!”

Tucker lays his head behind his arms lazily. “Oh, have you? My helmet must have been clogged or something.”

So that’s what the beeping was. How does he even ignore something as loud as that? It was echoing around the room a while ago like a ticking time bomb.

“Yeah I call bullshit.”

“Nevermind that, while you were getting the tank for us, I was just showing the rookies around the place.” He gestures his thumb towards them.

“They could have done the tour themselves.” Church said in a blunt tone. “You just don’t want to help me drag this thing here.”

A whistle was heard underneath the aqua’s helmet. “Daamn, you dragged a tank over here?”

“No, I was kidding. I can't do that, the pilot helped me. (Maybe Tex can, but I can’t really ask her to come all the way here to help me with something like this). “Church muttered the last sentence, probably meant to say it to himself but Noel can’t help but overhear it, though he can’t decipher much. “Also the packages for the water and food are here so you better help me drag them back to the base. It isn't really enough since we now have two more soldiers to feed so we need to find some leftover gravy and expired milk back in the storage room just in case they finally run out. I'm counting about 1-2 months.”

Noel feels himself about to throw up. Yeah, Tucker is right, he really doesn’t want to know what they have been drinking, wish he could turn back time to unhear it. 

“So now all the deliveries have arrived.” Tucker beckoned to the rookies who walked towards them. “What do we do now?”

“I dunno.” Church shrug. “Let’s just stare at this tank for now.”

“Sounds cool to me.” Caboose said before looking at the tank.

The three soldiers began to stare at the tank to which Noel can’t help but join. It just feels right.

.

.

.

A couple of minutes flies by maybe half an hour and they’re still standing in front of a tank just staring. That was until Caboose began to talk. Noel was uninterested since his rambles were more than five minutes, and five minutes is a maximum of him actually listening, now he’s just staring off to space. No one’s going to know since he’s wearing a helmet. 

“So I say to the guy, ‘how’re you gonna get the tank down to the planet?’ And he goes, ‘I’ll just put it on the ship’ and I go, ‘if you’ve got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead’?”

Suddenly Noel can’t help but overhear the one-sided conversation and think about Caboose’s words. He could have just said it’s stupid but somehow it sounded kind of cool instead.

Wait no- that doesn’t make sense does it? He doesn’t know, for hours on being here he felt that Caboose is just a tiny bit- if not dumb. Not the kind that doesn’t know how to comprehend words but the kind who thinks of creative stuff but then when it’s thought in a logical way it sounded very impossible and out of there.

“Hey kid.” Tucker who was silent together with him and Church finally spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“You’re ruining the moment. Shut up.”

Okay, maybe that’s a bit too harsh. Could have said something a bit more repressed.

“Oh. Okay.” Caboose said, looking down before replying in a cheerful tone. “You got it man!”

Nevermind. Noel guesses it’s because unlike those that have a mindset of awareness, Caboose just says a reaction of response towards a person’s words with no problems. He used to know people like that back at home, it’s not to bring down Caboose as a person, considering people like that are quite fun to hang out with.

“You know what?” Church who was silent throughout the staring thing began to speak up catching the attention of all of them. “I could blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing.”

Noel doesn’t know whether to laugh or feel creeped out by the first thing he says. Church is still staring at the tank after that. Wow, he was mesmerised as well but damn not that much, he feels quite anxious of the thought of actually riding it.

Tucker also is in the tank crushing zone as he pipes up. “You know what? Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece.”

“Um, what?”

Noel slowly looks at him with a warning gaze even though Tucker won’t probably notice. Why the heck is he saying as if women are like frozen chicken you can buy at the supermarket?

Church let out a snort. “Oh man, listen to you. What’re you gonna do with two chicks?”

To fuck them. After buying them in a local Walmart hundred blocks away. Noel sarcastically says in his head. He’s thinking about the chicken kind of chicks, not the women chicks of course, he respects ladies since he was taught to respect them from his mom, unlike the ‘lover’ himself apparently. 

“Church, women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up, the better it gets.”

“Now you’re just making it worse.” Noah whispered. We’re doomed. All men are officially doomed.

“Gee. I wonder why you never get laid. Like at all.” Church remarks.

Wait, he never? Now that’s straight up bullshit. 

“Oh shut up. How ‘bout you wise guy?” Tucker scoffs as he challenges the cobalt soldier.

“Yeah I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’ve uh..” Church began to sway with his words as if trying to find the right words to say. “I’ve actually got a girl back home.”

“Wait damn- really? Girlfriend or wife?” 

Instead of being irritated that Church got a girl, Tucker became curious.

“No, man, she’s just my girlfriend, ya know?” Church explains, somehow it’s pretty nice to hear him saying something from his past, felt a bit comforting. Again Noel doesn’t know why. “We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out.. Ah, you know how it works.”

“Oh.” Tucker didn’t let out any offensive joke and softly asked. “Well, you gonna marry her when you get back?”

As Church was about to respond, Caboose beat him to it by joining in on the conversation. “I’m not gonna get married. My dad always said, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’”

Noel can feel himself choke on air. Holy shit. Caboose no. No way he just said that. He notices a sudden shift of Church’s mood and doesn’t blame him unfortunately. The worse thing is that Caboose probably doesn't know what he said or what his dad means by that.

“You did not just say that.” Noel finally found the strength to say something and it’s not helping anything in the situation that dude brought himself into.

“Hey rookie..” Church slowly walks towards Caboose. Tucker, who was saying some offensive shit seconds ago slowly backs away a little bit. “Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?”

“No, I think he called her a slut!” Tucker sputters out.

“Way to make the situation better man.” Noel falsely congratulates the aqua soldier.

“I’ll tell you what noob, I could sit here all day and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a much more important job for you to do.”

Getting the memo right away from Church’s growing irritation, Noel feels like it’s time to defend the poor oblivious man who’s going to get hazed in return.

“I don’t think he’s saying that on purpose. It’s a quote man.”

“So what? You just don’t insult someone’s girlfriend like that, especially from one guy to another. Anyway the tasks’ something very important.”

“But that’s still coming from his dad-”

“Okay. You’re on with the task too.” Church said, using his head to gesture at him and Caboose. Alright, Noel can definitely see where this is going. How petty, he likes Church. He would do fuck a guy too if they insult his lover, if he has one. 

“Alright then..”

“Great!” Caboose said pretty eager for the job.

“See, we got this General.” Church said, turning his head to Tucker who immediately caught up.

“Right, the General guy-”

“-Who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I’m gonna have you do, is I’m gonna have you two go to the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by.”

“When is he coming by?” Caboose asked.

Tucker shrugged. “We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.”

A whole week?! Nevermind this task, he’s out! 

Even Caboose himself is picking something up from this. “You want us.. To stand at attention for a week?”

“You know, you don’t sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base, you’re gonna be right there with the flag.” Church tries to turn the guilt unto him. “Your twin doesn’t seem to complain much.”

Twins? Does Church mean him and Caboose?

“Woah woah we’re not twins, we just have the same coloured armour..” 

Caboose nods quickly. “Yeah standard issue blue. Isn’t that what you guys used to wear when you were rookies?”

“Oh.” Church feels slightly embarrassed but managed to hide it. “Well yeah but it’s been a while since we have rookies joining at the same time.”

“Well no offence but that armour is getting out of date why do you think I wore Captain Flower’s armour?” Tucker said.

“That’s just the colour idiot. The model is still the same. Anyways flag. Your job. Get to it.”

“You know, I still don’t get why the flag is so important.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Church turns to Tucker. “Can you believe this guy? What did training teach you?”

“No one told us about the flag, they just dropped us and dipped.” Noel said to them in hopes not to attack Caboose any longer. He doesn’t fully care about anyone here but come on who doesn’t feel slightly bad for the giant.

“It’s just important, okay? Trust us we’ve been here longer than you.” So he’s using that card. “So when the General comes by, the first thing he’s gonna want to do is inspect the flag.”

“Right.” Tucker, still playing along, follows Church’s lead.

“So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him.”

Oh they’re really choosing to fuck with them. There isn’t any General in their base nor did Tucker mention them during the tour so he knows it’s bullshit. Caboose, knowing him, is not aware of any of this. Noel let out a sigh, why is this dream still going? Is he in a coma or something? It feels like actual hours pass by.

Both Caboose and Noel stood their ground before Caboose began to turn around to where the flag was located. Suddenly just as the blue soldier was about to turn around and ask a question Noel began to drag him by the arm to save the misery.

“Let’s go Caboose, the others must be really busy.”

“Okay. But how will we know it’s the General when we see him?” Caboose asked.

“Oh um..” Knowing the plan of Church and Tucker he tries to make something up that’s quite believable. “Maybe he’s someone that doesn’t have the same armour colour we do.”

“Like how?”

“I don’t know he must stand out so probably not blue.”

Caboose nod. “Not blue. Got it. Let’s go, Beaver!”

“Not my last name but okay.”

Chapter Text

When something so stupid and weird starts from being so surreal then Noel feels like he must be either high or in a coma. He prefers either way because having the stickiness of the undersuit sticking his skin like glue felt much more torturing than the armour itself. While it is cool to feel protected, having his skin itch every five seconds and knowing he can’t scratch them is something that rises from his nightmares.

Sure it might be his own problem but it’s a problem nonetheless. He wasn’t so sure if removing the helmet can affect anything as Blood Gulch seems like any other canyon he sees on earth. The thought of the air being polluted by some alien virus made Noel want to keep the helmet on even if it’s just his lucidness talking. Noel’s common sense though thinks it doesn’t matter if he ever takes off his armour since no one gets hurt in their own dreams, unless it affects real life.

Noel thinks he could be in some coma. If it were any normal dream he could have woken up way earlier since he just has to force himself to wake up. The sun was literally killing him and the scratching didn't help at all, it made him think of the heat and the heat made his fingers twitch uncomfortably. His new partner, Caboose, either wasn’t fazed at all or didn’t notice, knowing him for a few hours he guessed the latter.

“Fuck.” Noel curses quietly as his head recoils from the buzzing of a nearby fly. Space fly exists apparently. He didn’t think flies in his dreams would be annoying as the ones in real life but here he is now.

It didn’t take even thirty seconds of standing beside a flag for him to be already bothered. Noel decides to keep standing silently as his hands move to catch the fly on instinct. It also didn’t take thirty seconds for him to be bored out of his mind.

Suddenly he hears the giant soldier beside him making popping noises out of his mouth repeatedly probably to entertain himself. Noel definitely would have fun if it’s himself to do it, Caboose just sounded similar to the fly at this point.

“So..” Caboose voices out. “Wanna play I spy?”

“No.. I don’t think I have the energy to play right now, sorry.” Noel replies in a similar fashion from the other suggestions Caboose asked.

“Oh. Okay.” The blue marine complied and the air around them went quiet again, but of course it didn’t stay that way for long. 

“You know what, I feel bored, hit me.”

Noel always seemed to have second thoughts and he applauded himself for it. There’s nothing here but grass, dirt and the base so this game would be easy for him considering he’s naturally bad at guessing things.

”Okay.” Caboose said before looking around. “I spy with my little eye something…brown.”

“Hm, dirt.”

“Yeahh, not even close.” 

“The cliff.”

“Hmm.. colder.”

He turns to Caboose. “Then what is it?”

“What? No more tries?”

Noel can only stare at him. 

“It’s a rock.” Caboose gestures towards a massive rock lying on the ground in front of them by the base’s walls. 

“Oh.” 

“I win!”

Noel bites back a groan. Weird enough how he wishes to wake up, his attention span can only last a millisecond, nothing is happening and time here passes by like actual hours. And.. does the rock have writings on it? Somehow it was covered in blue ink, aqua specifically, though he can’t make out the words from where he’s standing.

“Your turn!” 

“Alright. I spy with my little eye something.. Blue.”

“Oh! Is it you?”

“Nice try but no.”

“Okay okay. Is it me?”

“Nope.”

“Wow this is hard.” Noel can totally see rusty gears working in his head. Caboose then slowly points his gun towards the thing between them. “Wait. Is it the flag?”

“Yeah, good job.” 

“I’m good at this game.” Caboose said, sounding proud of himself. “Okay I spy-”

“Wait.” Noel turns his gun around, feeling something is lacking inside. He noticed this for a while, he used to go to a shooting range when he’s fifteen and while he isn’t a shooting expert, he can still remember the feeling. “This gun doesn’t seem loaded.”

“That’s because it’s not.” Caboose pointed out. “All the ammos are in the bag.”

“What? Then how are we supposed to guard the flag without any bullets?” Noel questioned.

“I don’t think the commander will be happy if we shoot him.”

“No but shouldn’t we be prepared? If we don’t have any ammo to intimidate the enemy then what’s the point of the gun?”

“..I think they’re just there.” Caboose said. “You know, like how player models were made. I always thought since we’re using the game models, the guns are just basically stuck in our hands forever.”

Noel learns not to question anything at this point. “I don’t think I follow.”

“Well my mind is a bit jumbled up right now sorry.” He said apologetically before talking again as if he was drifting off into space. “What are we talking about again?”

Noel sighs. “I’ll just go back to the base for the bags. I’m sure I can get us both ammos, same gun models right?”

“I think so?” 

“Alright then. Stay right here. If the commander asks where I am, you know what to say.”

The bigger marine nods in affirmation. “Got it.”

It took massive will power for Noel to ask if he’s sure but he doesn’t want to assume anything just because Caboose seemed out of it. For all he knows he doesn’t exactly know anyone in the canyon to assume what their personalities are. 

Walking away from the room, Noel can feel himself breath out the air he’s been holding for a while. For reasons unknown he can’t seem to wash away the uneasiness.

If he remembers well, he and Caboose left their bags in their respective rooms. Now where has Tucker said the room was located? Noel passes by a couple of the same old walls and doors, man does the base need rendering, he’s beginning to sound like someone he knows from a show he used to watch.

Pretty weird that the show felt so familiar to this dream. It’s been a while since he watched it. Aside from that this place is a fucking maze. Amazing how spacious it is underground but has the size of a gazebo on the surface. 

Well, a massive gazebo with no pretty design. 

Turning one last corner he finally spots two bags lying on the floor beside the beds. Luckily the bed isn’t as dirty as he feared it would be. Opening the bag he picks up the ammo of the standard guns they were given. 

—---------------------------------------------

Franklin Delano Donut was never one to be a soldier if anyone were to first look at him. Based on his hobbies and strange habits, no one would assume he would be signing up as a soldier at all, especially when it’s about living in a canyon for who knows how long.

He admits he never likes anything filthy or anti-hygienic. Call him feminine or whatever, that’s what his family always tells him and Franklin honestly didn’t mind since he was used to it by now. Though even if he loves fashion and romance novels, he was interested in joining the war and signing up to fight some aliens, not specifically fighting but just wanting to get out of his usual activities.

He was often compared to other males in his family, most didn’t really consider him a man and it made him quite frustrated. Sure he’s glad no one has complained about his preferences since many of his cousins signed up to the UNSC and his mom likes a son that doesn’t have scars on their skin for once (he hadn’t heard them in a while and it made his mom worried) he believes that they rarely think he’s ‘manly’ at all which isn’t really that fair considering he loves baseball, and horseplaying with his brothers, he just has additional stuff he likes to do that just so happens to be girly in society standards.

Franklin was one the youngest of the family and was babied a lot together with his younger cousins but it took a while for his mom or his dad to agree towards his application to the military. He wasn’t exactly skilled, sure he got a good arm but once an enemy were to be close to him, he’s a dead man. But his mom wholly believes he’ll be eaten alive the moment he steps foot in the battlefield.

And honestly since he’s now an adult, he strives to become someone respectable. Though he does admit signing up to the UNSC is pretty dumb on his part, he’s quite lucky that he was accepted. He’ll have to try his hardest not to show much of his ‘unnecessary habits’ to the army since he’s quite certain that no one wants to depend on a man who talks a lot and screams whenever there’s a spider on him.

It took a couple of months for him to stay on his first platoon and it didn’t really work in his favour, he failed to keep his mouth shut with his new teammate and how that teammate is dead, so are the others that went on the frontlines since Franklin volunteered to stay behind due to a lack of military training and expertise.

After a massacre to which took Franklin a while to get over, he was moved to another outpost, an actual outpost that consists of a much larger area for him to breathe, maybe he can finally showcase his throwing skills.

Once he met with the new members of Red Team, his thoughts towards them are rather.. judgmental to the point where he already got his first impression out of the window. Now he was asked to grab some Headlight fluid and Elbow grease for the Warthog (he assumes is the vehicle from the manual he read months ago), he’ll make sure not to fuck up this time.

On his way to buy the Headlight fluid he spots two people conversing with each other. He wasn’t exactly familiar with who is supposed to be in the battlefield so what he can guess is that they are people who sell any types of stuff.

“Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?”

What came out of the guy’s mouth though was the last thing he wanted to hear from being duped from his team a while ago.

“Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside- I.. I can’t be held responsible for what I’m gonna do to you! Where the fuck is the other guy? Isn’t he supposed to deal with you instead of me?!”

Franklin has no clue what’s going on but he’s definitely offended by the sudden outburst. “What did I do?” What other guy is he talking about?

“One..”

Is that guy seriously counting down?! For what?!

“Gimme a break.” Franklin muttered.

“Two!”

“Fine!” 

Walking towards another building where he believes is a place the items are placed, he goes in to only see one person just standing there. There was nothing inside the room except for a blue flag beside the soldier.

Looking around Franklin scrunches his face behind his helmet, god this place is no better. The walls really need a glow up. Once he stepped inside the blue armoured marine noticed him and greets pleasantly.

“Wow, you got here fast! I expect that you will arrive here in a week or so.”

“Why is everyone so freakin’ rude in this canyon?” Franklin asks in frustration, though he’s not sure who he’s telling this to. 

The man in the blue armour tilts his head. “I’m not, sir. What can I do for you?”

“Finally, someone with a little respect around here.” He huffed. 

“Yes sir! I assume you’re here because of this.” The shopkeeper gestured towards the flag beside him.

“Wait, is this all you have?” 

“Uh, yes sir. That’s it!”

He admits, the flag’s design is quite fierce with an aura of battle. Franklin likes it because it reminds him of a fantasy novel he read with a similar emblem but what kind of store doesn’t have anything but a flag? Are all the items out of stock?

“Shit. What about elbow grease?” Franklin asks again.

“Ummm..”

“Headlight fluid?”

The shopkeeper shakes his head. “No. All we have is this flag.” 

Seriously, where’s the manager? Though if he were to complain he’ll leave the blue armoured guy out of it, he’s just doing his job.

“Well, I can’t go back empty handed. I guess I’ll take that.” He’ll have to polish the cloth first because dust doesn’t fit right with the stylish symbol at all.

“Sure, that makes sense. I guess.” The shopkeeper only shrugs. 

“Oh right I don’t have any money with me is that-”

“You don’t have to. Sir! It’s all yours!” 

Franklin smiles at the offer as he takes the flag before frowning again. “Man, they’re gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this flag.”

Well they’ll just have to take it and suck it. No way is he gonna let them continue berating him like this, especially when he’ll be staying with them for how many months or years. Gripping the handle tightly, he walks out of the room before trying to find a way back.

Wait, does he even know where to go? Fuck.

—--------------------------------------------------

“Is this how you.. How do you-.” Noel tries to put the ammunition in the magazine just like he used to back then but he doesn’t remember how to do it anymore.

He tries shoving the ammo inside. Is he doing this correctly? Imagine being a soldier in the middle of a battle and someone doesn’t even know shit about loading a gun, how embarrassing is that? He’s very glad no one is here to see any of this.

He can imagine his father facepalming at the sight of his son doing such a shit job he’ll wish to ship him elsewhere. This is what the dream gets for putting an inexperienced dude in a fucking battlefield.

“I give up.” 

Noel will try not to embarrass his family further and place the ammo elsewhere in his strap and the extra one for Caboose. Is it evil to think that Caboose will be bad at this also just to make himself feel better? Yeah he is.

Maybe both of them can learn together, he remembers how to shoot. At least targets, real people will be difficult especially how this will be the first time he’ll take a life. The thought of it makes him feel uneasy, he’s really thankful none of this is real. And somehow that assurance felt more like a hopeful plea than an assurance at all.

Going back outside the base he carried the extra ammo to see three of his teammates standing together. Caboose is somehow with them, what’s happening over there. Stepping closer he can suddenly hear Church’s yell much clearer now.

Church? Yelling? Knowing him from a couple of hours ago, that isn't a very good sign.

Running towards them he asks. “Hey! Woah what’s going on?”

The yelling stopped. Tucker and Caboose who were silent during the whole scolding thing turned to look at him.

Church whose back was facing Noel’s face also turned towards him. “What’s going on? Oh I’ll tell you what’s going on! You left this guy- yeah this guy, alone to guard the flag. A flag to which I told you two to watch, and suddenly one of those soldiers in charge of watching the flag, I’m talking about you, left for SOME REASON and now that flag is stolen!”

Oh that guy’s definitely fuming, if his helmet is gone, Noel’s pretty sure his face would look so red. 

He shakes his head no he has to focus. Trying to keep his attention he asks to clarify. “Stolen by whom?”

“The Reds of course, who else is gonna to steal it?!” Church berates then gestures his head towards Caboose. “Nice going by the way, rookie.”

Noel blinked, definitely processing the information before snapping his neck to the bigger soldier. “You WHAT?!”

“You did say that the commander won’t look anything like us. Red is not blue.” Caboose reasoned out.

“Why did you listen to me?!” Noel shrieked. No way is Caboose pulling him into the radar too. Is this karma for thinking he’s bad at reloading a gun? “Also you know the Reds is our enemy right?”

Fortunately Tucker butts them in with news. “Hey guys, you might want to continue this blaming party some other time. I spotted the dude that got our flag, he’s running back to his base ASAP.”

“In a moment!” Church called out. Glancing at both him and Caboose for the last time, he walked beside Tucker. Following the aqua’s soldiers visor he also notices a dude with red armour holding the blue flag not too far away. “Oh this is just great. Thought I finally have some people smart enough to talk to here, turns out the rookies are also a bunch of idiots and now this happens. Man what an army.”

Tucker groaned. “Just shut up and check on the thief.”

“You know I don’t really understand what’s going on, I just know that I gave the commander our flag.” Caboose said to which Noel has to point out.

“It’s not the commander, figures out that there isn't any commander at all.”

“Oh.” Caboose froze. “So we’re doomed?”

“Doomed?” Church spoke up as he pulled out the sniper to check up on the red soldier. “Oh no, we’re not doomed. Next time he comes over, why don’t you just help him blow up the whole Goddamn base?”

“Are you talking to him, or to both of us?” Noel asks for clarification for some odd reason.

“If I remember correctly, you were the one leaving the flag without informing us. At least Caboose here let us know the flag was stolen right after the reds got it.”

“..Gotcha.”

Somehow it became a guilty pleasure that Noel really enjoys pissing Church off even if he just met him, that dude got a lot of sarcastic remarks up his sleeves it’s just a bit funny. It’s also amazing how Caboose isn’t mad at Church hazing him, for all he knows, it’s kind of his fault that the reds got their flag and that thought made it even funnier. 

Though it’s weird how amusing he finds Church to be since normally he would just be straight up annoyed like any other person. it really felt like he’s used to seeing him acting like that all the time. He just met the guy, mind you, but it really feels like he knows him before and acts like he’s someone he’s been with in the past. Noel feels frustrated because he can’t remember what makes that guy special than most assholes he met.

“Church I see him.” Tucker informed catching Church’s attention once again.

“Yeah I got it.” The cobalt soldier focuses his scope on the red soldier. “He’s sneaking around back behind the cliff.”

“He must be one smart son of a bitch.” Tucker comments.

“Why don’t you shoot him? He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry.” Noel suggests.

That somehow made Church’s shoulders go rigid. “Yeah. About that..”

“Should I tell him or you?” Tucker nods towards the cobalt soldier. 

“Oh shit Tucker look. Red armour, how cool is that?” Church squeaks in an abrupt manner.

“Church, you’re not really good at playing dumb.”

“No, I mean look. The one who’s holding our flag is literally wearing red armour. You know what that means.”

“Fuck. Their sergeant took it?”

“That makes sense.” Church moves his rifle as if to follow the enemy like binoculars, somehow he didn’t manage to shoot the guy yet. “Now we know how he got by our defences.”

What defences? Last time he remembered, there were only two guys left in the army minus him and Caboose, and that two guys seemed to be busy with each other that time.

“Uh you know, he got in the back door where you guys were standing.” Caboose pointed out.

“Yeah okay, let’s just take him out.”

“Roger that.” Church placed his finger on the trigger trying to find the right time to shoot. “Say good night Sarge.”

The moment he pulled the trigger, shots fired and holy shit was sniper shots always so loud?! 

“ BANG !” 

Noel jolted in impulse. The moment Church was about to shoot he should have kept a distance even if the shots were not towards him because damn his ears are ringing. It didn’t help that he did it four times. Wincing by the ringing pain it took a while to recover his senses before focusing on the target again who was shockingly still alive.

Holy shit, how bad of a sniper is Church to miss him four times? He took a couple steps back just in case he decides to shoot again. What’s weird is how none of them reacted the way Noel did and it felt a bit embarrassing when he’s supposed to be a soldier in this dream. When can he be a badass?

“You’re really not good with that thing.” Tucker commented unhelpfully. 

“Shut up.” Church growled.

“Oh great, now he’s taunting us. That’s just embarrassing.” The aqua soldier said as the enemy from afar flailed back and forth with the flag on his hold. That is quite embarrassing, imagine having the enemy to stop running for their life just to do that.

“That’s it.” Church let out an aggravated sigh before dropping the sniper rifle, switching towards the assault rifle. “You rookies stay right here, me and Tucker will head through the teleporter, we’ll cut him off the pass.”

As he orders them, Church walks towards the glowing portal.

“Oh we got a teleporter? Sweet.” Noel said in interest.

The cobalt soldier points his gun to the portal offering the aqua to get in first. “Tucker, you ready? Let’s go.”

“There is no way I’m going through that thing.” 

Church palmed his visor. “Tucker, we don’t have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn’t work?”

Tucker shrugged. “I don’t know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?”

“We already tested the teleporter, remember?”

“We threw rocks through it!”

“Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out of the other side, didn’t they?” 

“Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.” 

Well.. that is concerning. If it’s hot and covered in black stuff then does he mean soot? 

Church snorts. “Oh, so I guess that’s what this is all about then. You’re afraid of a little black stuff.”

“Yes I am. I am afraid of black stuff.”

He could have phrased that a little better. Noel can’t help but feel the irony that he missed, he wonders what.

The cobalt marine looked unamused. “Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you.” He then slowly raises his gun at the aqua soldier.

Tucker stares at the gun before looking back up with the same speed. “You wouldn’t.”

“You know, I look at this way, either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.” 

“He wouldn’t, would he?” Noel whispered to Caboose who’s also just watching.

“I feel like he would.” Caboose whispers back.

Tucker was silent for a few seconds before speaking up. “For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren’t people.”

“Duly noted. Now get in there.” 

“Crap.. Alright. One.. Two..” Tucker rushes into the teleporter and then disappears. 

They all follow their eyes towards the other teleporter that’s placed in the middle of the field waiting for him to reappear only to not see the aqua soldier. At least that’s what he thinks it’s the teleporter. Instead of the portal thing beside them, it’s some green small piece of metal on the ground. No one made a sound yet as they waited in anticipation one more time.

“Huh.. He didn’t come out of the other side.” Caboose stated the obvious.

“Great. You killed him.” Noel said blankly. He has no idea whether to be horrified that Tucker’s gone or unsurprised the teleporter didn’t work, he plans to use it a couple times later because who wouldn’t want to go back and forth with a teleporter, it’s every lazy person's dream.

“Yeah.” Church slowly turns towards them. “I’ve uh.. Decided I’m not gonna use the teleporter.”

“Wait but the rocks came out didn’t they? Did they come out immediately or does the teleporter just work on rocks?” Noel asks.

“No time to answer your question, rookie. Need to get the flag fast, this is becoming a solo mission now.” Church muttered as he jumped off the edge of the base and landed swiftly on his feet, he got to say that was impressive, too bad he’s scared of heights. “Stay here you two, I’ll be back with the flag!”

With that, Church ran off leaving Noel and Caboose behind to stand above the base.

“So..” Caboose turned to the shorter rookie. “Wanna continue to play I spy to pass the time?”

“I prefer we just watch Church in case he needs some help.”

“Oh, right.. We could do that.” Somehow he can hear the disappointment radiating off from Caboose’s voice.

Neither of them spoke a word after that, keeping an eye on Church as he chased the Red guy down. Noel wonders if there’s some radio thing between his team to know what they’re talking about, he’ll just have to tinker his helmet later, and by tinkering, asking them if there’s any manual as to not accidentally damage his helmet with his inexperienced ass.

And suddenly the watching duty became more boring than he expected it would be. Instead of witnessing Church doing some sick ass John Wick kind of action that he’s waiting for, he’s just watching the two enemies standing there and just talking. He’s aware how movies can’t be compared to real life since no one can do some dramatic effects for you whenever you do something but still.

“Man, I really want to know what’s going on over there.”

Noel is not the type to just overhear a conversation that’s not his business but that’s just how bored he is, it’s a feeling similar to having the urge to scratch your back while wearing a fancy suit. It’s also not helping that all he can see from here is just two coloured blobs in the distance.

Caboose hummed. “Will Church be mad if we use his sniper rifle?”

Both of them turn towards the said gun that’s still laying down in front of them.

“Actually why not. He’s shit at using that anyway.” Noel said as the bigger male picked up the rifle and faced it towards the two soldiers in the field. “What do you see?”

“Nothing much yet- oh wait shit.” 

“Now what do you see?” Noel asks in anticipation of Caboose's sudden reaction.

“Someone just appeared out of thin air. Like magic.” 

“What..?” Magic exists now? The fuck is going on in this dream. Noel asks again. “Who appeared?”

“I don’t know, they just appeared between Church and the red guy.” Caboose leaned on the scope. “His armour is really dark.”

“Dark.. you mean black?” When Noel received a ‘uh-huh’, he couldn't help but raise a brow. “It seems Tucker is not dead after all.”

“Oh.. the portal must be cooking him or something, I can see smoke coming out of him. It’s kind of cool looking, you think it hurts?”

“I don’t know. I can’t see shit, I’m not using the sniper rifle. I only see three figures bobbing their heads at each other.”

“Man, you don’t have to be mean about it.”

“Shut up.” 

Something dramatic must have happened because Church and Tucker didn’t attack the red soldier yet, from over here it looks more like a casual conversation than some retrieval mission.

“Wow, they’re really just standing there and talking.” Caboose muttered.

“What are they talking about?”

“How would I know? I can’t hear anything from here. Can you?”

“Well sorry for asking. I’m bored, okay?”

The bigger male just stayed quiet, keeping an eye out. Noel feels lucky he can still see them from far away because even with how small the canyon is for two enemy bases, it’s still relatively big. He was also glad that he didn’t anger Caboose too much. He’s bigger than anyone he ever seen. 

Suddenly, a faint sound of music was heard from the distance. A roaring of an engine followed as the enemy soldiers went closer towards Church and Tucker to aid the red that had their flag.

“Woah, they’ve got company.” Caboose yelped.

“I can see that!” Noel replied in alarm as their teammates tried to outrun the vehicle and hid towards the wall of a cliff to block the bullets heading their way.

The vehicle is so far away but it’s so damn loud. Pretty sure Griff and Simmons’s ears is going to explode from firing it in such a close range, Simmons especially since he is seen shooting towards the blues without pause. Noel knows it would for him- wait who did he just mention? Those names sound pretty familiar to him, he’s pretty sure those are the names of the ones who were attacking his teammates. How did he even know?

Before he could recall what he just said, Caboose spoke up.

“What do we do now?”

“Church asks us to stay here, we’re also rookies so it’s not going to make the situation better if we just go in there firing bullets at a-.. What is that anyway? A car? Jeep?”

“I don’t know.. Looks like a big cat.”

“What?” Noel glanced at Caboose incredulously. 

“What.”

“Did I just hear you comparing a vehicle to an animal?”

“But it does look like a cat.” Caboose said, still staring at the car with the sniper rifle.

“What kind of car looks like a big cat? That car has some kind of tusks on the front. What kind of cat has tusks?”

“Um.. Sabertooth.”

“..Okay fair.”

They both looked in front to where Tucker and Church were trapped behind the wall as the enemies continued wasting their bullets shooting at them.

“Let’s go save them?” Caboose asked.

“Yeah. We should.”

“But how do we do that while also not disobeying Church’s orders?”

“Screw that.” Noel looked around and spotted the tank parked behind them. He looked at Caboose who also eyes the tank. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah..” Caboose nods, still hesitant to go over there without any preparation. So much for making friends with his seniors, but he can’t have dead seniors for friends either.

“Come on, we’ll be fine.” Nudging the bigger soldier, Noel walked down towards the tank. “If our plan works out, Church is going to be commending us.”

“Wait, we have a plan?”

“Yeah, go over there and shoot the Saber-tooth thing.”

“That’s not a plan..”

“Got any better ideas?” Noel opens the canopy before hopping inside. Looking around he tries to find a button to turn it on. But the moment he sits down, the vehicle automatically activates.

“Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila.”

“What the fuck! Who said that-!” That voice suddenly surprises him. 

“Beaver the tank just talked!” Caboose said, also surprised.

“Thanks for the info Caboose!” Noel yelled as the tank started its engine. “What should I do?”

Somehow the tank talking didn’t manage to startle him any further. He was surprised but somehow that surprise quickly dissipates as if it’s normal.

“..The big tank is a lady this whole time?” Caboose asks as if it’s the biggest revelation of all time.

“Caboose!”

“I have no idea! Never drove a tank before!” Caboose yelled back.

“Fuck. Um.. I’ll see what I can do.” 

Try pressing buttons, Noel suggests to himself and does just that. Is this what the actual inside of the tank is like? He somehow doubts it, there’s a lot of buttons and most of the mechanics seem a bit impractical. And did he just see six pedals? What are each of them for? Front, back, left, right.. What next, up and down?

It could be his own stupidity or thoughts that distracted him about what he’s doing, like going auto when your brain is occupied by unnecessary things because he touched something that made him jolt. The hit impacts Noel’s brain and hissed as if he touched something seething hot.

The sound of bullets became louder from the background but he didn’t seem to care. He felt like he’s being struck by a thousand volts in a millisecond and experiencing the after effects. Noel’s mind whirled uncomfortably together with his stomach. 

Then suddenly his mind began to clear out and he felt fully awake, who wouldn’t after experiencing pain. Being heavily lucid didn’t manage to wake him up but that didn’t seem to bother him anymore as his eyes wandered around puzzled. Like a pile of memories shoved into his brain.

But Noel hasn’t managed to take it well. What’s going on? He swore he never been on a battlefield before nor was he ever a soldier, so why is he experiencing some kind of deja vu? All he knows is that he woke up in a pelican and first met Caboose- and he was pretty sure he knew a person named Caboose, at least that’s what he thinks. That confused him that time. He also felt he knew Church and Tucker from before but he swore he never talked to anyone named that.

It’s all so confusing. 

That was until it got to him, like a truck crashing into his face. ‘Oh.. Ohhh.. Oh shit. Fuck.’ He’s so goddamn stupid.

“Sheila!” Noel ordered the tank. “Open the canopy now!”

“Certainly!” The tank responded.

Once the canopy opened, he immediately went out in a spur moment. Oh fuck he almost signed his death warrant for a second there. 

“What’s going on? You don’t know how to drive?” Caboose ask Noel but he didn’t seem to hear his words as the words ‘what the fuck’ repeated all at once.

“This is so goddamn weird..” Noel muttered.

“What’s weird?” 

How did he not notice?! Did Sheila’s activation just suddenly make him remember? So many hints shoved towards his face and now’s the time he realised why everything is so familiar, he felt dumbstruck. He knew who Church, Tucker and Caboose were. 

Stupid. That’s what he is. Fuck! It’s so freaking obvious.

“Everything. This is supposed to be- You weren’t supposed to be real..”

Caboose tilts his head in an offended manner. “Excuse me?”

He’s been in the place for hours and hasn’t noticed anything weird is so crazy. No wonder Noel feels like he’d been here before, he never did because this dream is just so similar to the show he watched.

Noel shoves his face on his gloved hands. He felt like screaming. It’s the same feeling as forgetting your pet dog’s name, that’s how stupid he feels. It’s one of his favourite shows too.

Used to be at least.

“Caboose!” Noel placed both his hands on Caboose’s shoulders. “Imagine me being the team killer instead of you, I definitely dodged that bullet!”

When he says he placed both hands on Caboose’s shoulders, it’s more like hanging towards the edges of the blades considering he’s tall. He expected it would be that way based on the headcanons the fandom gave him but holy shit he’s almost as big as the hulk.

Caboose recoiled. “What are you talking about?”

“Man, this is so crazy..” An uneasy laugh escapes him before he lays his head down trying not to slap himself so hard for losing his cool in front of someone. “I’m definitely dreaming..”

Yeah right. If it is then he would already have woken up by now. 

“Okay you’re getting weird. Did the big tank lady do something to your brain? Should I call Command for a doctor?” Caboose shrugs Noel’s hands away from him, not showcasing any disgust, just confusion.

“No- I mean..” He really wants to grab his own hair but manages to force himself to calm down. “Caboose, hit me.”

“What? Why?!”

“I want to know if I’m hallucinating, just do it.” Noel said in a firm manner. 

Doing as he requested, Caboose punched him right in the center of his visor. If receiving it with a helmet already got the force knocked out of him, how much more without the helmet. Caboose’s strength is not one to pester with because he can feel his nose bend a little underneath.

“Fuck-!!” It’s real, it’s all definitely real. Noel hissed was audible and that made Caboose retract his fist.

“Sorry- you said punch, should I have done it softer?” The blue giant quickly came to his side, clearly regretful.

“No.. you’re good, thank you..” The shorter soldier squeaked, clutching the front of his helmet. “We should really save Church and Tucker. Sorry for wasting our time.. I’m just having a crisis right now.” It is a really hard pill to swallow. 

“It’s fine I guess. Don’t worry my sister was like that too sometimes, but I didn’t punch her since she would be really mad. ” Caboose said sincerely, bless him. “I’ll just take over the tank instead-”

“Wait.” Noel stopped him before he could climb up. 

Caboose stopped and turned to him curiously. “What?”

“We just found out there’s an AI in the tank, should we just let her take over and help the guys?”

“She’s an AI?” Caboose questions in a slow manner as if to comprehend what he’s saying. “So she’s not a tank who just happens to be a lady?” 

“No. I don’t think the tank was originally her body.” Noel said. Based on his own understanding from the show, an AI is a completely separate being, if she’s being removed and transferred then the tank would just be a normal tank.

“Oh.” Caboose pauses before speaking again. “By the way, what does the-”

“Artificial Intelligence.” Noel answered. “A for artificial and I for intelligence.”

“Got it.” Caboose nods before turning to Sheila. “Um.. Sheila?”

“Yes? What do you need me to do?” The AI asks in a polite manner.

“Um..” Caboose eyes at Noel before continuing. “We’d like to ask if you can help us? You see, our friends Church and Tucker are being attacked by mean people in a car that looks like a Saber-tooth. Is it alright if you.. You know, kill them for us?”

“Woah Caboose?” Noel gaped.

“What?”

Oh right, Noel remembered Caboose wasn’t as brain dead as the current Caboose he knew. He’s still used to hearing the character saying the word ‘kill’ to ‘sleep’ just like any innocent man child would. But he’s in a show apparently, how fucked is that?

Sheila’s barrel moved up and down as if she’s nodding. “Although I fully recommend I teach you the basics with the tutorial mode, I’m still happy to assist.”

The tank began to move slowly before going towards the middle of the field where Church’s death will take place. Noel watched the tank go anxiously, does he really need to stop him from dying? According to the plot he needs to die otherwise how else would the same things happen in the show.

It also would be easier if he knows what will be happening next and changing massive moments can disrupt anything. Yeah, Noel will just have to go with the flow, at least one minor thing changed and that is Caboose is not in the tank to be accused of shooting Church.

Watching Sheila go to save Church and Tucker, he and Caboose turn to glance at each other.

“She’s nice.” Caboose comments.

“Yeah okay, let’s go. Make sure to prepare extra ammo.” Noel said as he grabbed his gun.

“Got it. Let's stop the Saber-tooth.”

Noel’s smile grew stiff by Caboose’s words. He felt like he doomed himself, did he really just ruin the Puma joke? God he really sucks. He will surely apologise to the fans and the creators.

Rushing towards the field to catch up with the tank, Noel tries to recall what else is going to happen. He remembers about the whole future Church thing and the time travel fiasco. His death definitely was the whole starting point of everything so he needs to let it happen. Should he do something with the auto fire sequence?

Honestly he feels quite at peace now for the first time. Trying to remember how he finds everything here familiar hurts his brain for hours. Knowing he’s in a fictional world isn’t a good thing though because it made him question how reality actually works and that past scientists are somehow wrong. Now he’s thinking if there’s some kind of alternate universe or aliens observing them from above.

—--------------------------------------------

“Simmons!” 

Grif called out towards the maroon soldier who was still aiming the Warthog towards the wall where Church and Tucker are hiding behind.

When Simmons didn’t respond as he’s too focused on firing, none of the bullets hit the targets at all.

“SIMMONS!”

Grif called for him again, much louder than the last. This time, Simmons finally stopped firing and stepped out of the vehicle. 

The orange soldier sighed, ears still ringing by standing beside the firing warthog for minutes. “Man, that thing is loud.”

“...WHAT?” Simmons yelled, clearly affected by the loud noise of the shooting earlier. 

“Come on, let’s sneak around the back of the rock and get ‘em out.” Grif suggests.

“OKAY!”

That brought a wince on the orange soldier. “Keep it down! Jesus. Let’s go, before they figure out what’s going on.”

.

.

.

As they discussed this, the rest of the blues who were in hiding heard that the reds stopped firing. Church kneeled and leaned his head out of the rock to check before turning to Tucker who was standing, unlike the cobalt soldier he wasn’t at all afraid of the nearing death.

“Psst, hey.” Church whispered. “They stopped firing.”

Tucker looked down to him. “Why are you whispering?”

Church stayed silent before replying, still keeping the whisper. “I don’t know.”

Church cursed to himself. He could have planned more if it were to come to this sooner. They got a tank so why didn’t he use it? Maybe because he thought they’re only just handling Sarge, who happens to actually be the Red team’s rookie and ran off with their flag. Now the rest of the enemies came up and showed up with a new vehicle of their own. Now that’s pretty fucking unfair.

His only hope is for the rookies to come up with a plan themselves and put them out of this situation. Yes, he’s asking for help, it’s either that or death. But if they do come, they better bring the tank with them because he swears he will go ballistic if they show up with just their guns and nimble legs that couldn’t possibly outrun a car.

Captain Butch Flowers, or Cappy or whatever he wants to be called, would have planned something ahead. That man is a weird dude with an eccentric attitude, like that one kindergarten teacher that everybody loves, but he’s very professional in his own right. Maybe a bit too professional. He wonders what he will think of the blue team now that they’re in a tight case. His death would be all for nothing. Curse you heart attack.

.

.

.

Grif and Simmons went closer to the rock to plan how they’ll do a surprise attack. At least that’s what they’re planning on doing, the blues must have already known they’re out of the Warthog, the most likely thing they’ll be doing is getting ready for an attack once they are in close proximity.

Grif frowned underneath his helmet. “I don’t think we’re gonna be able to get around this way.”

“Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep?” Simmons asks.

“Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long.”

That brought the maroon soldier to huff. “At least the Warthog gives us a high chance of survival, who would ever feel safe towards a jeep like that? Also.. I had fun, thank you for asking.”

“That’s great Simmons.” Grif cuts off. “But let me repeat what I just said. You're shooting at rocks. It affects nothing.” 

“Well what has your plan gotten us, wise guy?”

As the two argue, they suddenly notice something standing right behind them. Turning around, they see the tank’s turret already facing them. And man is that tank huge, they definitely heard a sound but Grif thought it’s just the Warthog’s engine going crazy from Simmons abusing its power a moment ago.

“ Hoooly CRAP.” Grif was the first to speak between him and Simmons’ dumbfoundedness. “What in God’s name is that thing?”

The tank’s barrel was moving around, eyeing them, it didn’t shoot yet as it seemed to be scanning for new targets. It pointed to Grif then to Simmons.

“Don’t.. Move.” Simmons whisper yell. “That’s a scorpion tank! Their agility and size it is very deployable and has been proven many times in the battlefield to be deadly with a 90mm cannon-.”

“I swear Simmons.. If you dare do nerd talk on the verge of our death, I’d say I'd rather die right now.”

“Shut up, let me finish! Just like other tanks, this one is deadly to the point it will make you fly a hundred feet across the air-.. Literally!”

“If it’s that deadly then why is it just sitting there?” Grif asks.

“I don’t know! It’s better than it shooting at us.” Simmons said. “Quick, Let’s get back to the Warthog.”

As the two were busy staring at the tank, Noel and Caboose finally managed to catch up. The bigger male hopped right behind the massive vehicle, not as tired as the other rookie who was catching his breath. “Got here first!”

“..When did this.. *cough* became a race..?” Noel panted heavily, hands pushing his knees to support himself from collapsing.

“Oh we were racing?” Caboose asked. It’s amazing how much stamina that dude has. “I thought we were chasing Sheila.”

“Nevermind..” 

Sheila turns her barrel towards them. “Potential targets on sight.” She informed.

Noel looked up and spotted two of the characters he loved, mostly when they’re together right in front of him. Man in real life those guys look waaay different than the show version. The creators are using the game models when making them so their appearances would be very limited. 

Simmons looked much taller than how Noel saw him in the show, with a slim body build like an actual twig even under the bulky armour. Grif is the opposite with a much shorter build, still taller than Noel by an inch, with a chubby body type which makes sense of his character being lazy and hungry all the time. Those two are an example of a classic stereotypical tall and short buddy pair.

This could either be a dream come true if not for the stakes at hand.

“Beaver, do we tell her to shoot?” Caboose asks him in a low voice. “Church and Tucker are right behind them.”

“Yeah..” Noel glanced at the two reds who haven’t moved yet. Now that he thinks about it, he’ll stay still as well if a massive tank is aiming towards him. Turning towards Sheila he asks. “What are the controls over there Sheila?”

“The tank is equipped with an auto-fire sequence that can be activated once you allow me to disable it."

“Oh wait.. Really?” Noah asks, feeling a bit hopeful. “So no one has to get inside the tank to press the switch? You can do it for us?”

“Of course as it is too late for a tutorial at this moment, it is best for me to enable an auto-fire sequence to take down hostiles.” 

Noel sucked in a break. This really needs to happen, Church has to die. Grif and Simmons would probably be okay as long as this world follows the plot. Caboose isn’t riding the tank like in the original show but it doesn’t matter right?

“Okay do it.” He commanded. “Activate auto-fire.”

Sheila’s barrel twitch as if it’s been electrocuted before it was settled down, it took a second before she faced Grif and Simmons. “Auto-fire sequence activated.”

The two reds noticed more blue enemies arrived and they tense, they also noticed how the tank was still observing them.

“It seems like this is it, Simmons.” Grif said. “Nice knowing ya.”

“Yeah.. we’re heavily surrounded.” Simmons whimpered. “But we have time to run to the jeep if they’re somehow distracted, are you still up for it?”

“No.” The orange soldier said. “Can I say no?”

“What- Why?!”

“Running is tiring Simmons.”

“Well it’s either that or we die, and I haven’t completed my bucket list of making myself Sarge’s Number One soldier boy!” The maroon soldier cried out, his voice suddenly going higher.

That took a snort from the orange soldier. “What is this, an office job? You are such a kiss ass sometimes. Wait- always. You're a kiss ass always .”

“S-Shut up!” Simmons sputtered. “How about this, we do it on three then we start running.”

“Wait, on three or three then go?”

“On three. It’s always faster to go on three.”

“Okay, okay. On three.”

Noel is glad he remembers whose voices belong to whom because just seeing their heads bopping is already catching his attention, and imagining them moving their heads with no sounds is already looking really stupid.

“Acquiring targets.”

“Ready?” Simmons called on to Grif who was already stepping back quietly. “One..”

Grif immediately ran towards the jeep, not managing to let the maroon soldier be aware of his action. Because of the sudden movement, Sheila’s crosshair became attracted towards the orange as it locked on the jeep where he’s heading towards.

“Target Acquired.”

Noel slowly steps back. “This is going to be loud..” The sniper shots from a while ago made his ears explode, how much more a tank. He shouldn’t have come here in the field or anywhere near Sheila what was he thinking, this going to be such a bloody marathon.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit..” Grif panted out. The jeep was not too far away from the two earlier but because of his lack of exercise the past few weeks or at all, his lungs began to give out. Surely Simmons would understand, it’s every man to himself when it comes to being soldiers.

“Two..”

Noel sees Church getting out of the wall and chases after Griff. Fuck that’s right, he’s also heading towards the jeep. He was about to stop the cobalt soldier but managed to control himself, just let this go on smoothly he reminded himself. Any small thing can change this moment he doesn’t know what but it’s better to not find out.

“Three!” Simmons finished counting and quickly turned to see the orange soldier not near him anymore. “Oh, you backstabbing cockbite-.”

“Firing Main Cannon.”

“Move back move back!” Noel cried out to Caboose who took the signal and ran away from the tank. 

“BOOM!!”

The tank fired its bullet towards the jeep, making the vehicle fly back, rolling multiple times before hitting the ground standing lopsided. Fortunately Grif ducked ahead of time or he’ll roll with it. Though the noise alarmed everyone, especially those that expected it.

“Son of a bitch!” Simmons jerked violently, his armoured skin feeling the aftermath of the bullet rushing past him as if burning. It could be his dark side speaking but he’s quite disappointed to see Grif still alive.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Grif cries out, eyes balling at the Warthog’s condition.

“Son of a bitch!” Church began to run back to the wall where he was hiding initially, forgetting his whole plan on getting the jeep.

“Firing Main Cannon.” 

The two reds started to run away from the tank, as the massive vehicle repeated its words before shooting at them. Each shot made the ground shake and as the tank followed them, one of the shots managed to hit right beside the ground where Caboose was standing. 

“Ah-! Careful Careful!” Caboose moved away from the seared grass. 

“Shit. Auto fire, the tank is going crazy, we need to get out of her view asap!” 

Noel warned, feeling multiple dangers coming straight at him. He’s not a canon character of the show so he wonders if he’ll be gone forever when he dies. As Grif and Simmons flail around the battlefield, Noel guides Caboose to follow Church where the four blues will be safe temporarily.

Once Church met up with Tucker, Tucker motioned towards the broken down Warthog. “Hey dude the jeep blew up.” 

“No kidding, thanks for the update Tucker.” Church said dryly.

“Hey guys! Good to see you still alive!” Caboose greeted the two enthusiastically.

“What the- you two?!” Noel and Caboose quickly hid with them as Tucker and Church scooted over. “What are you two doing here? Didn’t I tell you to stay put?!”

“Don’t pretend you aren’t glad to see us.” The shorter rookie said. “It’s either this or let you guys die and we’re still newbies to replace your positions.”

“Well..” Church seems like he’s trying to find something to counterattack Noel’s words before muttering under his breath. “Okay fine! We do need help, just figured that using the tank would be a good plan right now to save our asses.” 

Each shot from the tank sent shivers over the blue’s spines. Glad they aren’t on the opposite side. 

“Say..” Church glanced over to the tank before going back to the rookies. “If you’re both here. Then who’s driving the tank?”

“Um..” Both Caboose and Noel stared at each other before facing Church.

“There’s no one there.”

“What do you mean there’s no one there?”

“There’s no one driving the tank.”

“WHAT?! How does that even make sense?! Who’s operating the damn thing then?”

“Well.. there’s not exactly no one in there. If the tank is driving itself and Sheila is a person who just so happens to be a tank then she’s someone right?” Caboose asked.

Noel opens his mouth to retort before pausing to think about it. “Maybe..? You have to remember that she’s an AI though, not actually a tank.”

“Did I hear a ‘she’?” Tucker perked up.

“What the fuck are you two talking about?!” Church yelled through the loud noises from the cannon. “Who’s she ?!”

“Tha tank.” Noel and Caboose answered at the same time.

Caboose then added. “Her name is Sheila.”

“The tank.. You mean the one that was shipped towards us by Command.”

“Yeah, what’s there to be confused about?” 

“And you’re saying it’s sentient.” Church snorted. “Yeah right.”

“You think it could be a ghost?” Tucker jokes. 

“Why are you bringing the supernatural into this?”

“We won’t know, it could be some lady who so happens to be a vengeful ghost and is possessing the tank, though I wonder if she’s still sentient if you catch my drift-”

Church groans. “Great now Tucker got himself a new kink, good going guys. And I thought him sexually assaulting some rock is already disturbing.”

Caboose faces towards Tucker. “Ew.”

“Hey- don’t tell them that!”

“What? They’ll know eventually.”

Weird foreshadowing but whatever. Noel shakes his head. “We realised that the tank that was delivered to our base has an AI, which is Sheila over there.” Actually F.I.L.S.S. but that part will be rundown in later episodes.

The ground made another massive earthquake. Small rains of rocks began to fall from the cliff and the others tried to avoid particles without being spotted. Looking over to the tank, it was suddenly near them which means it's still finding where Grif and Simmons are hiding.

“Seems like a nice uptown gal you see everyday.” Tucker quips. “I guess the tank really picks up chicks after all.”

It didn’t take a few minutes for the field to be already filled with burnt smeared grass. Noel has to admit, even when their life is currently in danger, watching the action unfold is like playing a video game due to his helmet having those HUD features.

“Wait wait wait. AI? As in Artificial Intelligence AI?” Church asks, perplexed. “Why would Command give us an AI?”

‘Because you’re here.’ Noel wasn’t so sure since it’s been a while since he watched the show but that was his own theory. He didn’t say it out loud though, instead he just shrugged.

“At least it’s going well for us.” Tucker remarks. Oh the irony. Suddenly the noise went to an abrupt pause and the air became peaceful again. “She stopped shooting, they must be dead already.”

“I don’t think..” 

Noel tries to press but stops, feeling quite unnerved from the sudden ‘what ifs’ in his mind. Fuck, what if minor changes affects the story as well?! If Caboose isn’t inside the tank then Sheila won’t be listening to anyone but the protocols, Grif and Simmons can’t outrun her for more than five minutes, and the Warthog is still damaged, they could as well be dead already. What will he do now that the story changes its course? He’ll be confused on what to do next.

“You wish Blues!”

The sound of Simmon’s yell erupted and the silence and relief filled Noel’s nerves. The four peeked to see the orange and maroon Spartans hiding behind the Warthog.

“Fuck. They’re not dead.” Church groans in annoyance. “Are we even sure that AI is useful at all? There’s a lot of ‘BAM! BAM!’ going on for minutes and it killed no one whatsoever!” 

“She’s in auto mode. We might need to guide her where they’re hiding.” Noel suggests. 

“Alright.” The cobalt soldier turns to the aqua soldier. “You do it.”

“Wha- why me?!” 

“I’ve already stepped foot outside of the rock, it’s your turn to do it.”

Tucker began to protest. “You’ve stepped out of the rock then stepped back in around ten seconds! Also, I went through the portal to which you’re a pussy on choosing not to so you’re still doing it.”

Church glances at Noel and Caboose, luckily Noel quickly speaks up in a split second.“We brought out the tank.”

“This is fucking bullshit!!” Church yells out. “Fine! I’ll tell her. But if I die, I’m hunting you guys.”

“You got it, Church!” Caboose chirps out.

The cobalt soldier let out a grumble before calling out to the Tank. “Hey! Computer lady! They’re over there, you missed them!”

The tank turns around to where Church is speaking and sees him flailing his hand, trying to point at the direction Grif and Simmons are currently hiding.

“Acquiring new targets.”

“Wait what did she say?” Tucker asks them from below. 

“Heey! Over there! The redss.. Are over.. There!” Church emphasises his words slowly still gesturing towards the jeep to which Sheila didn’t take account for and begins to find a new target to shoot. Sheila’s barrel moves slowly towards Church who didn’t notice yet since Simmons still has his attention throwing curses at him.

“Lay off you snitch!” Simmons yells out before ducking quickly to avoid Sheila’s attention. 

Church yelled back. “I ain’t a snitch if we’re from opposite teams, moron!” 

“Oh right..” Simmons answers back. “Lay off! Uh.. enemy!” The maroon soldier ducks down again.

“Smooth.” Griff comments beside him.

“Shut up, I don’t see you doing anything useful.” Simmons grumbled. “God, Sarge is going to kill me for damaging our new vehicle.”

“Why just you? Didn’t he ask both of us to watch over the Warthog?”

“Wait.. you’re right. If Sarge asks us who is responsible for the damage, I can always shift the blame on you since you know.. he hates you, and my reputation won’t be ruined! Thanks Grif!”

“Uh-huh.” Grif said in a bland tone, already used to Simmon’s kiss-assery. “No probs buddy.”

Back to the rock, Tucker began to tap Church’s hip with his knuckles still kneeling down. “Hey Church, Sheilas looking at you funny. I think she’s going to shoot you any second now.”

“What? Then how are we going to do this?!”

“I don’t know! Just go back down, your head is giving her a clear target!”

“Fuck!” Church steps back making Noel yelp in pain.

“You stepped on my hand, you dick!”

“Move over!” Church elbow hits Tucker on the head.

“Ack-! Stop moving!”

“If I do then I'll be screwed, idiot!”

“This wall is getting small for all of us.” 

“Thanks for stating the obvious Caboose.”

Noel leaned back to avoid getting his head hit from Church’s twisting and turning, getting him and Caboose with Church and Tucker is already botching the plan. If he just remembered how Caboose’s size is going to get them killed due to him hogging the space then he could have found another wall for them to hide, though the wall is made specifically for the plot so there’s nothing else to think of during their time running away from Sheila’s explosions.

Church then stopped arguing and froze, seeing the cobalt soldier quiet made Tucker silent as well as Sheila began a countdown to shoot.

“Firing Main Cannon.”

The announcement made Church groan quietly, still standing with the crosshair embedded towards him. “Oh.. son of a bitch.”

“Move!” Tucker cried out. The rest of the Blues ran out of the wall as soon as the first shot was fired.

*BOOM!!*

It could be some comedic moment or his life shining before his eyes but somehow Church hasn’t moved from his position when Sheila fires her cannon at him. Noel glances at the cobalt soldier’s shoulders slumping in defeat before feeling the shockwaves of the explosions forcing him to land harshly on the ground.

Noel grunted from the impact, he feels his body aching and wonders if it’s possible to bleed underneath the armour.

He turns around to where Church was standing and only finds a destroyed wall and burnt ground. The thing that caught Noel’s attention is the sign of blood. It’s already been expected but seeing a large pool of blood for the first time made him feel uneasy. 

Fuck, that’s a lot of blood. Church must be in massive pain right now. 

“Holy fuck!” Noel can Tucker’s voice from the ringing of his ears. “Church, are you okay?! Talk to me!-”

“Sheila! That was not nice!” Caboose healed immediately and scolded her.

Sheila hears Caboose and faces them with her barrel. “It’s already clear that the auto-fire sequence doesn’t have familiarity with friendly fire. It is after all, auto. The one who is safe from the auto-fire sequence is the rider to which no one is inside me currently.”

Bow chicka- no. Without wasting more time Noel commanded the tank before it could continue to shoot recklessly. “Um- Turn off the auto-fire sequence! Lock on towards the jeep!”

“Auto-fire Sequence deactivated.”

Caboose lifts Noel carefully. “Are you sure we shouldn’t power her down?”

“We’re still on the battlefield. At least she won’t be killing us anymore.” The shorter rookie reassures him. “Now go watch the tank and make sure it’s still shooting at the jeep.”

“Jeep?”

“Sabertooth.”

“You got it!” Caboose leans Noel on the wall for support before walking off, following Sheila heading her way towards the jeep that’s already empty due to Simmons and Grif abandoning it. 

Noel limped towards Church. After making his way around the burnt rocks he stared at Church’s current state in horror. In the show he looks like he’s in a sleeping position with less blood on his armour, right in front of Noel is a body with the left side blown off showing off Church’s insides. The armour was dented but the area near the hip was very exposed, the cannon took a toll on the burnt flesh. Fuck, Church is not having a good time right now.

It hurts just to hear his ragged breath and body still fighting its way to keep breathing. What's worse is that it isn’t Church’s actual body but another person’s. Noel won’t be able to remove that from his mind anytime soon. 

“You killed Church, you crazy tank!” Tucker yells out towards Sheila who’s still charging at the Warthog.

“Relax Tucker, I made sure she won’t do it again.” Noel shushed him. He’s somehow afraid of the sentient tank now that he sees how harmful a shot from her can give him, and having Tucker yell at an AI that’s controlling a machine will surely kill them all.

Before Tucker could bitch at him, Church’s cough got both of their attention. 

“Tucker.. T-Tucker..!”

“Church!” Tucker kneels down. “It’s going to be okay, man!”

“I don’t think he’s going to make it.” Noel said, staring at the massive hole at Church’s side.

“Don’t tell him that.” 

“He’s right..” Voice wavering, Church grunts out through the pain. “I-I’m not.. I’m not going to make it..”

The rest of the conversation was clogged and Noel had to close his eyes. Luckily the stench was faint enough to pass through the helmet so vomiting won’t be happening anytime soon. He really knows what’s going to happen but fuck, the dying body looks real, the smell is real, the pain from Church’s voice is real even if he wonders how it’s possible. Watching a person die and seeing pieces of burnt flesh on the ground isn’t easy to look at compared to movies, instead of just his eyes being affected, his whole body reacts un-accordingly.

The lightheadedness still stayed and his legs were unsteady but covering his senses helped in a way he believed the corpse wasn't real. It shouldn’t be. He wasn’t supposed to be here, he wasn’t trained to be a soldier. If not for his knowledge, he would already be lying on the ground, bloody and lifeless. The difference between him and Church though, is that Church will come back from the dead. 

Closing his eyes somehow made him sleepy. Noel felt the adrenaline leave his body and began to waver, somehow he didn’t collapse on his ass when someone slapped his shoulder.

“Hey, you good?”

Tucker’s voice was like an alarm clock. Noel opens his eyes to see the soot covered helmet staring right through him, hand still on his shoulder he feels the hard surface squeezing his muscles. Looking down he still finds Church lying down motionlessly, the fidgeting was nonexistent.

“I can’t really see what’s going on in there behind that helmet but you were silent the whole time.” Tucker said, retreating his hand.

“Oh..” Noel quietly responded. “Sorry.. I was- I didn’t really..”

“Take the gore too well?” Tucker finishes. “You’ll get used to it, rookie. A lot of people died here, why’d you think it’s just me and Church left?” 

He did recall there were other recruits from the Red and Blue team but they were mostly minor characters that died in a comedic way. Just thinking about it somehow made Noel’s guts sink. As one of the audience of the show he’ll just laugh at their deaths since it was made to be funny, basically harmless, but that feeling’s very opposing right now.

Swallowing the lump on his throat Noel pushes down his worries. “I’m surprised. The Reds don’t seem that smart.”

“I know right?! I feel like God is giving them luck or something! I mean our captain died from a heart attack. A heart attack ! Can you believe that?”

“Yeahh.. That sucks.” Somehow Tucker being dramatic made him loosen up. Rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward manner he gestured his head to the corpse. “So, he’s gone?”

“Yeah. Church’s gone.” The air became heavy once again. Even through the aqua soldier’s facade, it stayed. “Ah he’s an asshole anyway, that’s karma for him.”

“I didn’t really hear his last words. What’s his request?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Yeah it’s dumb enough for him to ask when the dying man’s last words were “Hurk!.. Bleh.” in the show. Leaving a last look at Church’s body, Noel followed Tucker on their way to Caboose. He’ll have to remind the guys to bury the corpse, it’s the least he can do. Walking down the hill they see the enemy base being attacked.

Caboose stood beside Sheila staring at the red base, hearing his teammate’s footsteps he turned to them cheerfully. “Hey guys! Um.. how’s Church?”

“Oh, he’s doing great. He’s currently crawling his way down here.”

“Dead. Church is dead.” Noel gave Tucker the stink eye.

“Oh.” 

“How the heck did the jeep go over there?” Noel asks, diverting their attention. “Wasn’t it destroyed?” 

It could just be him but it’s funny how the jeep looks perfectly parked as if it didn’t go out to the battlefield earlier. 

“Well Sheila was locked on to the jeep like you told her to and she kept shooting at it to the point it flew towards their base.” Caboose explained.

“How is that- you mean to tell me that the tank shot the jeep making it cartwheel and land exactly on their base as if it’s on target and somehow not in shambles and crashing them?” Tucker asked in disbelief. Honestly it would make more sense if the jeep was teleported over there.

The bigger soldier nods. “Yes.”

“Then ask her to unlock it. We can’t have the tank causing more trouble.”

“Last time Sheila unlocked it, she killed Church.”

“Ohh right..” That made Tucker silent for a moment. “Tell her to keep shooting at the jeep then.”

Noel was about to say why not power it down but Sheila being broken forwards to the events of Tex and Church. Sometimes plot is more important than common sense. There’s also a chance since Sheila is sentient, asking her to power down can make her feel sour especially when everyone’s putting the blame on her and not on the protocol.

If he remembered correctly, Sheila being destroyed will happen soon and before that he and the rest of the guys should already evacuate before she can explode. It’s been a while since Noel has watched the series but season 1 is pretty memorable from start to finish.

“Uh oh.” Tucker voiced out behind them. “You guys might want to start running. Like right now.”

Following the aqua (currently black) soldier’s gaze, Caboose and Noel look up to see a Pelican dropship looming from above. Fuck, Sarge. They all began to back up as missiles from underneath the plane began to drop, trying to get as far away from the incoming strike. This is going to be loud in the scariest way possible. 

“Sheila! Watch out!” Caboose cried out.

Sheila, being a tank in her current state, turns her turret at him as if to follow their retreating form. Unfortunately the tank’s movements weren't fast enough as the missiles hit fast from behind then right at her making all of them close their eyes and brace for impact. The explosion made Sheila land on her hatch, and just like a while ago to differentiate this experience from the show, the damage was clear and way more severe.

The way she hit the ground made the ground shake violently turning it into another earthquake, Noel has to duck down to steady himself. Many bruises are starting to form today and the last thing he wants is to die from a world he thought was fictional

Once the blues recovered from the blow, they all focus on Sheila, upside down and having sparks shooting out, her barrel twitching sporadically like she’s also about to explode. Noel prays that it won’t happen.

Then just like what she did in the show, Sheila began to malfunction and proceeded to slowly shut down.. “I’m scared Dave.. Will I dream? Daisy.. Daaa aiissyyyyy ..” Her voice became distorted and her last words grew unclear and elongated.

Now hearing that made Noel shiver. That scene still bothers him. And who is Dave? He’s only familiar with David, who is Agent Washington’s real name. Unless it’s some secret character he missed hearing about, he’ll just keep believing that it could be some random gag. 

“Sheeiilaaaa! Noooo!” Caboose laments loudly, roughly kneeling down in despair. “She’s a nice lady.. We could have been best friends..”

While hearing Caboose grieving, Noel felt the need to console him but didn’t. He wasn’t as sad since Sheila can be revived later. There’s also a slight precaution because he’s still scared of the tank, and Caboose is in close proximity to Sheila, who looks like she’s on the verge of exploding from how frantic the barrel is twitching from the impact. So all Noel can willingly do is stand a couple feet away behind the bigger male. 

“Yeah.. You can blame the Reds for that.”

“You don’t sound sad.” Noel points out towards Tucker who just shrugged.

“Why should I? She killed Church.” He replied as if it’s the most obvious thing ever. It is, but it’s Tucker we’re talking about. As if he noticed Noel’s look Tucker continues. “I might be a lover but I’m for sure never going out with a crazy chick, especially if she’s a murderer.”

Woah. It hasn’t been a day but Tucker is already experiencing some character development?! Noel thought that wouldn’t stop Tucker from going on in but he only knows his character in a surface area since he’s one of the many comedic relief in the show. Noel mentally smacks himself on the back of the head, he should really start reminding him that this is reality.

“Unless..” The reminder flew out of the window as Tucker began to contemplate. “I could be into that.. She still sucks for killing him though.”

“Hmm.” Noel’s lips formed a thin line as he nodded. 

Caboose then walked towards us still sniffling, he swiped his arm on his helmet as if to wipe snot. Noel patted his back softly, now this is the Caboose he knew. Trying to think of something to make the big guy better, he suggests.

“You can go back to the base now bro, for now we should think of a way on how to get our flag back.”

“Yeah..” Caboose said before taking one last look at Sheila. “I think we should bring her with us. This is not a safe place.”

“Didn’t she just explode not too long ago?” Tucker asks.

“Yes. But she’s a tank, we can fix her!” 

“I don't know shit about robots! You fix her!”

Somehow through that unintelligent mind of his, Caboose really showed an amount of feats of being good at engineering but that talent wasn’t used in season 1.

“Okay!” 

Caboose was silent after. “Let me guess.” Tucker speaks up. “You don’t know how.”

“Yes.” The Blue soldier said, shoulders drooping.

Either the plot must be really powerful or the creators haven’t implemented it on him yet. But that’s in the show, it could be different here. So Noel guessed for the sake of reason that Caboose may not remember due to past events. He truly believes that Caboose is some kind of Spartan due to being extremely tall and strong. Or maybe it’s really just God’s way of compensating.

“But I will still bring Sheila with us!” Caboose proclaimed.

“And how do we do that idiot? We can’t just hop in a broken down tank and drive to the base now can we?” Tucker sighs in irritation as his fingers pressed on The tip of his visor. Caboose is silent again before walking towards Sheila. “What are you doing? Come back!”

Ignoring Tucker’s calls, Caboose kneels down and places both his hands on the sharp edges of the metal before lifting his arms. The tank’s surface lets out a wild creaking noise as Caboose steps back letting it follow through his pulls. 

Noel’s mouth gapes at the sheer amount of strength. He literally knew but what the fuck. That is so fucking awesome, and scary. This feeling is similar to when Caboose shows the Blues and Reds Freckles. He can tell that Tucker is also both shocked and horrified. ‘Yeah keep calling him an idiot Tucker. Caboose might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s way smarter than his current version.’

“I.. will.. Bring back.. Sheila!’ Caboose huffed as he walked forward pulling Sheila with his one hand, it could be the armour aiding his skin because no way will he not have a nasty bruise on his fingers and palm. The grass was forcefully scraped off and the sound was as torturous as hearing a chalkboard screeching, and it was right near them so both his ears were dying. 

As Caboose left, Tucker and Noel stayed behind, either still in disbelief or willing to be far away from the horrendous noise. Noel feels Tucker’s stare looming behind that visor.

“I don’t know if we should be glad or doomed that we have someone in our team whose being able to lift a fucking tank.” 

“Yeah.. don’t ask me, I just met that guy.” 

“Uh-huh.” Tucker’s voice sounded doubtful. “You know what- remind me why we’re still keeping that tank?”

Noel answered simply. “She’s a powerful ally in our team.”

“But she killed Church?!” Damn, Tucker didn’t really care much about his death in the show so it really surprises him. 

“She’s on auto mode! All she can do is follow the protocol since no one was riding inside her.”

Like a flip of a switch Tucker’s reply was like an automatic implementation.

“Well I don’t mind riding to be inside-” Tucker immediately pauses remembering who he’s talking about. “..Okay, that was instinct.. “He gave an embarrassed fake cough. “So what do we do now?”

Noel can’t keep his smile from forming even though he should be annoyed. If it were Tucker in later seasons he would have gone Carolina all over his past self. Shows how Rooster Teeth wanted to mix seriousness in the comedy series to which he doesn’t mind at all, he loves Tucker but god is he such a douche with no game at all. Also Lopex would kill him if he hears that but he hasn’t met Sheila yet.

“I think we should bury Church’s body first.” 

Noel pointed his chin towards the corpse several feets away. Tucker tilted his head in a confused manner.

“Ehh.. nah. I’m kind of lazy.” Tucker notices the appalled look towards him and jeers. “What? Why do you seem surprised at my response?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you were against having Sheila back with us since she killed Church?!”

“I was and still am but why does it matter if he gets buried or not?”

“Because it’s the reasonable thing to do?” Noel said in slight disbelief by how nonchalant he was suddenly acting. In a show for gags sure it makes sense but in real life, It feels different. “When a fellow soldier dies, we either should ship them to their family or make a grave here.”

“But we don’t have digging equipment, unless we use our guns to shoot a grave it’s going to take a while.” 

Weird how they use the same lines before the moment actually happens. “Church will be pissed.”

“He’s dead, Rookie number 2. What’s he gonna do, hunt us?”

“Still unhonorable. Soldier’s code and all.” Noel points out.

“Well tell him he has to wait in hell until he’ll be buried six feet under the ground.” Tucker said in annoyance before walking away making Noel sigh. Does Tucker care about Church’s death or not?

“Got it. I’ll call Satan to pass the message.” 

Noel will probably have to call Command to get them some shovels. While it doesn’t change anything to the plot at all he can feel how disrespectful it would be to leave a body rotting underneath the sun and eaten by vultures especially when you're a “ghost” watching it decay. 

Though he’s kind of confused how the bases don’t have any digging equipment considering it could be used to plant bombs or make barricades. He understands that the Reds and Blues aren’t in a serious war compared to the Spartans and Freelancers, but it could help an image of make believe especially when they’re literally wearing combat armour that’s likely designed with insanely powerful life support tech, even by Mjolnir standards. Imagine having the Reds and Blues who aren’t at all superhumans (yet) to wear modified Mjolnir armour for a war that’s extremely pointless.

Noel doesn’t believe that he’s wearing actual Mjolnir armour based on the lore and he’s a normal human being so it’s quite unethical. But seriously how cool is it to have a temperature controller inside this thing. 

But back on topic, Noel knows now that everything is real he has to think things logically. It’s not just a show anymore, he’s in it. 

—-------------------------------------------

That cannon was like slow motion for Church when it was flying towards him, but the moment it hit him everything went by so damn fast. Next he knew, he’s laying on the ground, paralysed and in pain. It was a shameful thing to do as a soldier especially when it’s right in front of two newbies.

He also hates the fact that he won’t manage to visit his girl anymore. That sucks. How about his ex? Though does he miss her? Is he truly sad to leave her like that? Will she feel anything at all? He guesses not since she’s a bitch but they were together, at least that’s how he remembered it.

It’s time for him to leave that thought behind. At least he’s finally at peace. Or so he thought. It could be him being dead but his memories began to waver like an unstable television, flickering so rampantly. He wants it to stop. But it refuses to. It hurts like a bitch.

Next thing he knows that pain finally stopped and he found himself standing. He’s somehow still in the same place he was killed. The canyon, smeared grass, fresh smoke from the shots are all familiar to him. Suddenly he looks down and finds himself looking at a dead body. Currently a rotting body that looks like it’s been through some shit. From the perspective of its fresh form, the Church finds it very ugly.

Oh shit. That’s his body. 

Church wasn’t looking at illusions in hell. Somehow he didn’t wake up in hell at all. He’s still on the moon that he’s currently stationed on. Why is he still here? Why isn’t he passing away from the physical universe?

Church looked down to see his own body, not the rotting one, and found them transparent. The moment he looks at himself is when he realised that fate forces him to still stay in this bloody outpost. He shouted at the universe.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”