Archive of Our Own

They just had their first thirty-minute break for today. They were practicing the dance of their new title track. Jun plopped down on the cold surface—his back creating a semi-loud thud.

He watches the members disperse. Some decided to lay down on the ground—just like what he’s currently doing—while some are sitting while singing their hearts out, some are being silly by trying to dance weirdly, some are browsing their phones, some are looking at the oblivion while breathing loudly. Ugh, aren’t they tired? Where are they getting their energy from? Jun thought while looking at the members who were dancing and singing.

“Jun–hyung~” Seungkwan whines cutely while lying down next to him. Jun chuckles as he spreads his arms so that Seungkwan can lay on his arms.

“I’m so tired.” Seungkwan grunted. Jun laughs and mumbles a soft “Same,”

“Same, too.” Wonwoo said who suddenly appeared next to them and laid down beside Junhui. He’s now laying down in the middle of Wonwoo and Seungkwan. 

Suddenly, he became aware of his surroundings. And it’s not helping that Wonwoo decided to rest his left leg on top of Junhui’s right leg. He swallowed the lump on his throat and he wanted to groan and pull his hair out when he felt his heart beat faster.

Being a Seventeen member means having little to no personal boundaries. Everyone is clingy, everyone dotes on each other. Naturally, this should be normal. Just like how it’s normal for him to spread his arms when Seungkwan decided to lay down with him. Like how his heart was normal and not acting like crazy.

He doesn't get it, really. This has been happening for fucking years but he still doesn’t get it.

He doesn’t get why he’s okay with having skinship with other members. Why is his heart and his whole being is fine being in a close proximity with the other members but when it’s with Wonwoo… his nerves start to go wild.

He doesn’t know when it started. But he remembers bits of his memories when he starts to fidget because his nerves are acting as if he’s running a marathon—and it always involves a certain Seventeen member named Jeon Wonwoo.

☽

He doesn’t really remember when it was the first time. But one of his earliest memories was during their rookie days. 

Two weeks before their debut, the thirteen of them had their own little meeting. Without their CEO or managers. Just them. Just the thirteen of them.

They decided to set their own rules in order to protect their image, their friendship, and the group itself. They promised that during their rookie years, they won’t befriend anyone outside of their group. They wanted to solidify their already solid group. They want to make sure everyone is friends, everyone is close, everyone treats each other as family. They wanted to make sure that no one is being left out before they can be friends with other artists in the industry. And also, Cheol, being the best leader, wants to make sure that no one is being badly influenced to do anything. Being a rookie means you have a potential to be badly influenced by the seniors of the industry, and that’s what they want to avoid.

And because of that rule, the thirteen of them are stuck to each other—not that they are complaining. They’re all happy and more than willing to oblige with that rule.

So naturally as well, everyone became close. And Wonwoo and Jun became closer than before. They sit next to each other every interview, they have inside jokes that they whisper at each other on and off cam, they send each other funny videos or photos… they’re… best friends.

Being best friends means having skinship. Junhui understands that. He does skinship with the other members, he lets Seungkwan hug him, he dotes on Minghao and Hansol; he also sees it with other members. So… it’s normal.

He also does skinship with Wonwoo. They hug each other, they lay on each other’s shoulder when they sit together on the bus or van, Wonwoo bites him and he hits him playfully in return.

It was normal.

Not until that one night.

They just received their first music show win. All of them are on cloud nine. They’re all happy. It felt like a fever dream. But it happened. They were all crying and laughing the whole night. It was already three in the morning when they all started to sleep one by one.

But not Junhui. He still feels ecstatic. He still feels like his heart is about to burst out of happiness and pride. He’s proud. They’re still far, but they’re also getting closer to their dreams. Far but close.

He decided to stand up to go to their dorms’ balcony while tip-toeing to avoid waking up the members. They’re sleeping in the living room, with two mattresses as their bed. All of them are like sardines, trying to squeeze themselves. Good thing Jun decided to position himself in the corner, so it wasn’t that hard to stand up.

He felt the cold breeze touch his bare skin when he opened their balcony’s door. He giggled to himself and fished out his phone from his pocket to check their social media.

He smiled when he read their fans' congratulatory posts. He felt his heart swell. Until now, he still feels like their first win is a fever dream. He’s afraid that he will wake up tomorrow and will then meet with the reality that this happiness that he’s feeling is just nothing but a dream.

He was smiling while scrolling on his own when he heard the balcony’s door slide open.

He looked up and saw Wonwoo. He looks cute with his messy hair and glasses, Jun thought.

“What are you doing here all alone, Junnie?” Wonwoo asked, yawning, while sitting beside him.

Jun smiled at him and shook his head. ”Nothing. I just can’t sleep. How ‘bout you?”

Wonwoo shrugged his shoulders. “I was already sleeping but I got thirsty and when I stood up, I didn’t see you there so I looked for you. And here I am.”

“Ah…” Jun said, nodding. Okay. It’s totally normal for Wonwoo to look for him… right?

“I’m cold. Aren’t you cold?” Wonwoo said in a tiny voice that made Jun smile.

“Then go back inside.”

“And leave you here alone? Hell no.” Wonwoo snickered. Wonwoo leaned his head on Junhui’s shoulder and hugged his waist.

In return, Jun spread his arm and settled it on Wonwoo’s lanky shoulder, caressing it to ease his coldness. He felt Wonwoo’s breath on his shoulder.

“The moon is beautiful tonight, Junnie…” Wonwoo said, his lips touching Jun’s bare shoulder.

He looked up to the sky and frowned. “What do you mean? The moon is not visible tonight.”

Jun can feel Wonwoo vibrating as he laughs against his skin. The cold breeze and Wonwoo’s warm breath settled on his skin.

“That’s not what I mean, stupid.”

Jun’s heart started to go frantic. Suddenly, he remembered that Japanese saying. And his mind started to go blank and haywire. His palms started to sweat, his breathing started to hitch, and his heart was pounding so loud he felt like even the members who were sleeping inside could hear it.

That was one of the earliest instances when his whole being decided to not be normal around a certain Seventeen member named Jeon Wonwoo.

☽

Junhui’s eyes were still heavy when he was groggily woken up by the sound of Seventeen’s semi-hush and semi-loud whispers and giggles. How come he knows that it’s from Seventeen? Simple. Aside from him knowing them like the back of his hands, Mingyu’s puppy laugh and Dino’s contagious laugh is something you can not know.

He was about to scratch his eyes when he realized his right arm was numb because something or someone heavy was lying there. He slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw were the heads of Seventeen members looking down at him… or them.

He looked at the person who was sleeping peacefully in his arms, head leaning on his shoulders, and arms hugging his waist. His eyeglasses are almost being crushed because he slept sideways while wearing them. He shook his head at this man’s carelessness.

He heard Seungkwan squeal that’s why his attention went to him. “What?” Junhui asked.

Seungkwan, blushing, shook his head. “Nothing. I just hope you look at me like that,” he said in a teasing tone in which Junhui doesn’t understand that’s why he only answered him with his puzzled look.

All of them laughed.

“I’m going to make this as my wallpaper.” Mingyu said and showed Jun a photo of him and Wonwoo.

In the photo, Jun is sleeping while holding Wonwoo close to him. Wonwoo is leaning on his shoulders while hugging his waist, just like what he’s currently doing.

Junhui frowned. “For what?”

All of them sighed, exasperated. Minghao rolled his eyes. “Are you really an idiot, Jun-ge?” Minghao asked in their native language.

He was about to ask Minghao what he meant when Wonwoo moved closer to him and whispered in a sleepy voice, “Is the thirty-minute break done?”

Jun looked up to the members to ask them because he himself doesn’t know the answer since he just woke up as well.

“We only have four minutes left, Wonwoo. You better wake up.” Cheol answered.

Wonwoo groaned and hugged Jun tighter. “Two minutes…”

Junhui chuckles at his stubborn ass.

“Heh. You just want to hug—Aw!” Hoshi was cut off from what he was saying when Jihoon hit his head. All of them laughed, including Jun.

“Break is done. Gather here!” their choreographer shouted and they all stood up to gather in the center.

Junhui’s knees went weak when he heard Wonwoo say something to Mingyu.

“Mingyu, send me the photo.”

His subconscious is telling him that Wonwoo is asking Mingyu to send him their photo earlier… but his rational mind dismisses it. 

Because what would be the reason for Wonwoo to ask for it, right? 

Maybe Wonwoo was asking for a different photo. Right…?

☽

“Are you going to cook?” Wonwoo asked while they’re walking towards their designated car.

They just finished filming their dance choreography for Hit. It’s actually harder than their previous dance choreographies but Junhui feels overwhelmingly proud when he watches their performance. All of them did great. So because he’s happy and feels proud, he wants to cook for them.

Junhui hums as an answer to Wonwoo’s question. “Great! I missed your cooking,”

“I haven’t cooked in a while, have I?” Jun chuckles.

“Yeah. I mean, I love DK and Mingyu’s cooking. But, I missed your dishes.” Wonwoo said nonchalantly.

There it is again, Jun’s breath started to hitch again as a sudden wave of memory splashed through him.

It was during the Don't Wanna Cry era. There was a fansign event where Wonwoo boasted about Jun’s cooking skills to Carats.

Wonwoo said that he cooks delicious food. And at that time, not many knew that he cooks. So when a Carat asked him about it, he tried to play it cool by saying he cooks whatever and Wonwoo just comes over to bite. He doesn't cook just for Wonwoo. He cooks whenever, it just happens that when he cooks, Wonwoo is there.

☽

“Jun-hyung! Cook for me too! Why do I have to learn from Wonwoo-hyung’s fan sign that you always cook delicious food?!” Seungkwan whined while grabbing his arms.

Mingyu chuckles. “What? Jun-hyung cooks for all of us.”

“I know! But it’s been a while since we got busy! And Wonwoo-hyung acts as if he always receives it!” Seungkwan pouted.

Jun chuckles and he was about to intervene when Hoshi butt in. “Nah. It’s just Wonwoo trying to brag. Junnie denied it in another fan sign.”

He felt Wonwoo looked at him so he looked at him as well. Wonwoo frowned and glared his eyes and started to walk faster than them.

“Oh, look at him. Jeon Wonwoo is sulking!” Mingyu said and laughed annoyingly and even did a high-five with Hoshi.

Hoshi pushed him. “Go and console your best friend.” Hoshi said, emphasizing the word “best friend”.

“Huh? Why would I?” Jun asked, confused.

“Because you denied him!!!” Mingyu answered, over exaggerated.

Jun chuckles, “Denied what?”

Seungcheol, who was walking behind them, laughed and jokingly headlocked Mingyu. “He wouldn’t get it. Dummy.”

Mingyu sighed loudly, “Will this continue for years?! How can Wonwoo-hyung handle this?”

Vernon, who were walking with them silently earlier, says in sing song tone, “By the power of love~”

Jun shook his head, not understanding what they were saying. He didn’t pry, because that’s also one of the things that you get used to when you’re a Seventeen member. You don’t have to understand every craziness that they come up with.

He decided to walk faster and leave them behind, following Wonwoo who is now entering the car. He sat next to Wonwoo who just looked at him with a scowl and leaned his head onto the window.

“What’s wrong?” Jun asked, confused.

“Why did you have to disagree and deny? It’s true that you cook delicious food. And sometimes, it’s for me.” Wonwoo said in a hush voice, almost scowling.

Jun was taken aback. Is he really mad because of that? “Are you mad?”

It seems like it’s now Wonwoo’s turn to be taken aback. He sighed and pushed his glasses up to his nose and shook his head. ”It’s just… nevermind, Junnie. I’m just tired.”

Jun nodded and bit his lower lip. 

“I didn’t deny or disagree on anything… I just said that whenever I cook, you’re always there to take a bite. Which is the truth.” Jun said in a somber voice. 

“It’s fine, Jun-ah. I said, just don’t mind me, I’m just tired. Sorry. I understand.” Wonwoo said.

Jun nodded, even though he feels like Wonwoo is still sad or mad about something. He just doesn’t understand what’s to be mad about something so small? His heart twitched.

The other members entered the car, Joshua only looked at them, while Jeonghan who entered the car after Joshua looked at them while giggling. Wonwoo snickered and shook his head.

Then entered Minghao, who looked at them and sighed. “One day, I want to achieve that kind of patience, Wonu-hyung.”

Everyone burst out laughing, leaving Jun confused.

“Shut up.” Wonwoo gritted his teeth.

Jun just shook his head, another moment where he doesn’t have to understand their craziness.

He looked at Wonwoo who’s currently glaring at their friends. 

Maybe Wonwoo realized that he’s looking because he averted his gaze and looked at Junhui. Wonwoo smiled and leaned his head on Jun’s shoulder.

“Chill, Jun. I’m fine.”

Jun didn’t realize that his shoulders were tense until Wonwoo leaned his head and made him lay back. He sighed and hugged Wonwoo’s shoulder. 

☽

“Jun and Wonwoo are roommates.” Cheol said.

They’re in Japan right now for their Ode to You tour and they’re currently picking (or Cheol is picking) who will be roommates and who are not.

“But I want to be Jun-hyung’s roommate!” Seungkwan complained. “He’s always with Wonwoo-hyung!”

Hoshi hit Seungkwan’s head. “Let them be!”

Jun just averted his gaze and forced a laugh, trying to ignore how his heart starts to beat crazily again. 

This won’t be the first time that they’ll be roommates. Like what Seungkwan said, he and Wonwoo are almost always roommates during the tour. 

They even share the same bunk bed before, and sometimes, Wonwoo who’s sleeping on the upper bunk would squeeze himself and sleep with Junhui on the lower bunk.

It shouldn’t matter anymore. It should be normal at this point.

But fuck, why does his heart beat so fast as if it’s about to go out of his ribcage? Why does his palm start to sweat like waterfalls? 

And fuck, why does he only feel this with Wonwoo?

Will he ever find an answer for this? Or will this go on for more years?

“Are you just going to lie there and play games on your phone?” Wonwoo asked him; Wonwoo’s drying his hair with a towel.

Junhui bit his lip, “Why? Do you want to do anything?” he asked without looking at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo sighed. “I don’t know. Wanna watch a movie? Or walk outside? Or even eat?”

Eyes still glued on his phone, Junhui shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, Wonu-ya. I’m still tired because of our practice and it’s our concert tomorrow so I don’t really want to go outside. And I’m already full when we ate dinner earlier. And I don’t have a movie in mind.”

Wonwoo was silent after Jun said that. Jun prayed to God that Wonwoo would accept his lame ass excuse. Because who the fuck says no to food, right? He himself can’t even believe that he said that.

Wonwoo sighed again and walked towards the door. “I’m gonna go outside and ask the others if they want to do anything.”

Jun nodded. “Take care and enjoy.”

Wonwoo left the room and Junhui released a deep breath—something he didn’t realize he was holding.

He put down his phone on his bed and hit his own forehead. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Wen Junhui?!”

Jun sighed and bit his lower lip so hard he tasted blood. He felt a sharp pang on his chest when he remembered Wonwoo’s somber voice.

He’s avoiding Wonwoo. He’s ashamed to admit it. But yes, he does. 

The reason? He don’t fucking know.

Maybe he’s really tired from juggling group schedules and his solo. Yeah, that’s it. He’s tired. That’s why he’s avoiding Wonwoo.

Not because he’s becoming painfully confused on what’s happening with his nerves and his fucking heart whenever he’s in close proximity with Wonwoo.

I mean, this has been going on for years. He thought he’s already used to it.

Not until he heard Joshua talk about his current girl.

“I think she’s the one. She makes my heart go crazy whenever she’s near. My mind is always going haywire. I feel like this is really it.”

He’s confused. Because why would he feel the same way as Joshua’s feelings with his girl?

Like… is that even possible?

It’s not, right? Maybe he’s just tired. And maybe, maybe, maybe this is nothing. Wonwoo is his best friend. Yeah. This is nothing.

It was already past two in the morning when Wonwoo came back to their room.

“I already went out and drank with Dino and you’re still on your phone?” was Wonwoo’s first words when he entered the room.

Junhui got startled because he was already used to the silence and the noise from his phone  for the past hours. 

He was leaning his back against the headboard while playing a game on his phone. A pillow on top of his lap.

Junhui briefly looked at him before playing again. “Yeah. You’re drunk?”

Wonwoo mumbled a no and laid down on Junhui’s bed. Face and body facing the bed while his hands draped around Junhui’s lap, resting his biceps on top of the pillow.

Junhui stiffened, his body started to tense.

“I’m tired.” Wonwoo said in a muffled voice because his face is against the mattress.

Junhui fakes a chuckle. “Yeah, I can see that.”

They were silent for a while. Only the sound that you can hear from their room is coming from Jun’s phone—where his mobile game is left untouched, since he stopped playing when Wonwoo decided to mess with his system and hug him.

He sighed and messed up his own hair. Be still, Junhui. He said to himself.

He tried to remove Wonwoo’s hand so he could lay down, but Wonwoo tightened his hold on him.

“Stay.” Wonwoo murmured.

Junhui bit his lower lip.

Fuck the confusion. I’m sure there’s nothing. It’s normal. Because it’s Wonwoo.

Junhui said to himself, convincing himself while brushing Wonwoo’s hair.

☽

“Can’t believe we’re stuck here for a longer time.” Dino said after their zoom meeting with their staff and CEO.

It’s April 2020. It’s been almost a month since they got stuck at their dorms because of COVID. Good thing though, they’re on the same apartment floor or else they will die out of boredom.

Wonwoo, who was sitting next to him, sighed. “I hope this gets better.”

“Me too.” Jun murmured. Wonwoo looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“Let’s make sure that we won’t get sick, guys. It’ll be hard for all of us if one gets sick. Okay?” Cheol said.

“That’s right. And try to use this time to rest. I know we’ve been technically resting for a month, but rest. Just think of all the schedules that we need to catch up once this COVID thing is done.” Jeonghan added.

All of them nodded, agreeing with what the two oldest said.

“Anyway! Let’s eat! I’m hungry! What do you want to eat? I’ll cook,” Mingyu said while walking to the kitchen.

And just like that, the thirteen members dispersed. Some went back to their own dorms—since they have three dorms, and they’re currently at Cheol, Jeonghan, Mingyu, and Vernon’s—while some, like DK, followed Mingyu in the kitchen.

Jun looked at Wonwoo who decided to open the TV and put Netflix on. Jun sees the red bracelet on Wonwoo’s  right hand.

He smiled, he felt a warm tug on his chest.

It was the bracelet that his mother gave to the 96z early this year. This year is the year of the rat, 96z’s year. And his mom, gave them a red bracelet for good luck and to cast away the bad luck

He still remembered Hoshi, Woozi, and Wonwoo’s reaction when he gave it to them. And he still remembered how much his mother made sure that he would give those bracelets to them.

And he still remembered how warm his heart was when Wonwoo asked him to put it on him.

☽

“Make sure to give that to your friends, okay?” Junhui’s mom said to him for the nth time today.

Jun wanted to roll his eyes but he didn't want to get kicked on his butt so he just nodded—for the nth time as well.

“Yes, ma. I will. I already told them about the bracelet, they’re excited as well.”

Jun’s mom nodded. “That’s good to hear!”

“Yes, so no need to worry. I’ll give this to them.”

“You better be!” his mom threatened him, Jun just laughed at how adorable his mother is.

“This is from your mom?” Hoshi asked while sliding the bracelet in his hand.

Jun smiled and nodded. “Yep. Since this year is the year of the rat, our zodiac sign, she gave that to us for good luck and to cast away the bad luck.”

“Cool.” Woozi said and wore his.

“I’ll wear this everyday!” Hoshi said, wearing a wide smile while admiring the bracelet.

Jun looked at Wonwoo who still hadn't worn the bracelet. He’s just looking at it.

“You don’t like it?” Jun whispered.

Wonwoo looked at him and chuckled. “Are you insane? This is from your mother. Of course, I love it.”

Junhui felt relieved. He thought he didn’t like it because he was just quiet, unlike Hoshi who expressed his happiness and Woozi who said his thanks and was smiling widely.

Wonwoo gave the bracelet to him.

“Hmm?” Jun hummed, asking Wonwoo what he wanted to do.

“Put it on me.” Wonwoo said, in a hush and low voice.

“Oh… okay,” Jun said.

He took Wonwoo’s right hand and slid the red bracelet. 

“There.” Jun said and was about to let go of Wonwoo’s hand when Wonwoo tightened his grip on Junhui’s.

Jun’s heart raced. He looked at Wonwoo, eyes intensely looking at him. “Tell your mom my gratitude. I love it.”

Jun smiled. “I will.”

☽

“What do you want to watch?” Wonwoo asked, pulling Jun out of his trip to memory lane.

Jun shrugged. “I don’t really have anything on my mind now. And I don’t really have the energy to watch.”

Wonwoo leaned his head on his shoulder, Junhui sat straight and wrapped his arms around Wonwoo’s shoulder to make sure he’s comfortable.

“Yeah, me too. The meeting drained me. It lasted three hours, yet the conclusion is we’re still stuck here because of COVID.”

Jun chuckled. “Then why did you turn the TV on? I thought you wanted to watch something.”

“Nah. I don’t really have anything on my mind right now.” 

“Pfft. Let’s just eat. Do you want to eat anything?”

“Will you cook?” Wonwoo asked, his chin on his shoulder, Junhui can feel Wonwoo’s breath on his cheek, and if he moves, Wonwoo’s nose will touch his cheeks.

His heart beat fast again. He feels like he can’t breathe. He cleared his throat and looked at the kitchen, opposite of Wonwoo’s face.

“Mingyu and DK are already cooking. How about we go there and see what they’re cooking?” Jun was surprised how his voice didn’t stutter.

Wonwoo chuckled, his breath brushing Junhui’s face before pulling away.

“Fine. Let’s do that, Junnie.”

☽

“What happened?” Seungcheol was the first one to ask.

Jun and Minghao just got out of their meeting room. They had a meeting with their CEO and the other staff. They just had their contract renewal a few months ago and one of Jun and Minghao’s contract clause is to be given an ample amount of time where they can go back to China— to spend time with their family and to focus on their solo schedules.

It’s been a year since they last went home because of COVID. He misses his home and his family.

“We were given four months.” Minghao was the one who answered Cheol’s question.

The eleven members, who decided to wait in the practice room while they were having a meeting, had a mixed reaction.

“F-Four months? Like… four months there?” Dino asked.

Jun nodded. “Yes. Unlike before, when we have a schedule in China, we will come back here from time to time. But this time, we’ll stay there for four months to finish our solo schedules, and also spend time with our family.”

“Also, as much as we would love to go back and forth, we really can’t. It’ll be a hassle since we need to be quarantined every time we go to another country.” Minghao added.

“Right… the quarantine,” Seungkwan said in a low voice.

“And besides, Jun-hyung needs to film his drama.” Minghao said with a smile, trying to lift up the somber mood in the room.

“Right! Junnie has to film his drama. I can’t wait to watch it!” Hoshi said in a forced-lively voice.

Jun chuckled and shook his head. “Why do you guys act as if Minghao and I are not coming back? It’s just four months. Four months will come by quickly.”

Jeonghan pouted. “We’ve been together for years, Junnie. This will be the first time that you’ll be gone for this long.”

“Hannie’s right. I’ll feel very sad and incomplete for the next four months.” Joshua added. “I mean, it’s not that I’m not happy you’ll be able to see your family again. I understand how much you missed them because I missed my mom too. It’s just… four months is long.”

“I agree with Shua-hyung.” Mingyu said in a voice where you can almost hear his lips pouting. “I’m excited for Jun-hyung’s drama and I’m excited for every solo project Jun-hyung and Myungho will have… but I think I will really miss you. So, I’m sorry if I can’t really be happy…”

“Me too…” DK agreed with Mingyu.

He felt like someone was squeezing his heart. He feels warm and fuzzy. He blinked the tears that were trying to slip out of his eyes.

“You guys don’t have to apologize,” Minghao said, chuckling.

Cheol laughed and stood up. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s normal to feel sad because we will miss them, but that doesn’t mean we’re not happy for them. It’s okay to feel both emotions.”

“Right,” Hoshi added and stood up. He pointed at everyone. “Since Seventeen’s two main dancers are not going to be with us just during this comeback, and meaning half of my team is gone, I’m gonna make sure no one’s lacking! Jun and Minghao are always a very big part of our chereo!”

Everyone groaned. Jun and Minghao laughed, Jun feels sympathetic towards them already.

DK looked at them with puppy eyes. “Can you go back already? Imagining Hoshi-hyung being a dictator again makes me want to cry.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to be a center to any of our choreo. I don’t want to get scolded every second,” Vernon adds.

“Ugh. I’m tired already,” Woozi grunted, making everyone laugh.

And that’s it. They were able to lighten up the room, thanks to Hoshi.

But Jun’s eyes wandered to a certain member who hasn’t uttered a single word since they announced their news.

Jun looked at Wonwoo who was sitting next to Woozi. Wonwoo’s eyes were closed, leaning his head backwards.

Is he not going to say anything? Jun asked himself, and at the same time, Wonwoo opened his eyes and met Junhui’s.

Wonwoo gazed at him and heaved a deep sigh and wets his lower lip with his tongue. Wonwoo sighed again and looked away.

Junhui’s breath hitched.

He sighed and looked at Hoshi who called his name.

☽

It’s already past midnight when Jun’s phone rang.

He hissed. Of all the time that my phone has to ring, it really has to be when I decided to sleep?! Jun grunted. He wants to ignore it but his guts tells him he should answer it.

He sighed and took his phone from his nightstand, his eyes squinted when he saw the caller.

Wonwoo is calling…

Without hesitation, Jun answered the call. “Hello?”

Silence was the one who answered Junhui. He thought the call was dropped, but then he heard the other line heave a deep sigh.

“Junnie…” Wonwoo whispers, voice low.

“Wonu? Why did you call?” Jun asked, confused.

Wonwoo didn’t speak to him the whole time earlier. Even when they went out to eat hotpot, Wonwoo didn’t speak to him. He feels like Wonwoo was avoiding him and he doesn't see any reason why he would do that.

When they were picking cars, it was obvious that Wonwoo chose the car where Jun is not there.

When they were picking seats, they looked at each other for a while before Wonwoo avoided his gaze and sat far from him.

He can’t really see a reason why Wonwoo would avoid him. They were doing fine yesterday, during practice. Wonwoo even slept on Junhui’s lap during their break. So he’s confused.

“Did I wake you up?” Wonwoo’s voice pulled Jun from his reverie.

“No. Why did you call, Wonu?” Jun asked.

Wonwoo heaved a deep sigh. “I’m outside. Can I go into your room?”

Jun’s eyes widened and he stood up as fast as he could. “Where? In the living room? Did Dino or Vernon let you in?”

It would make sense if his two roommates let Wonwoo in.

“No. Outside the door. They didn’t know I’m coming.” Wonwoo answered.

“Okay. Wait for me,” Jun said as he walked towards his room’s door.

“I will.” Wonwoo said in a hushed tone.

Junhui ended the call and threw his phone on his bed. He walked out of his room and walked fast but tried his best to stay quiet in order to not wake Dino or Vernon up—although he knows Vernon will not wake up with just the sound of his footsteps. That kid will sleep through everything.

He opened the door and saw Wonwoo, leaning against the wall, hands in his pocket while bowing his head. He’s wearing a black puffer jacket, a beanie—Jun remembers he was the one who gave that to him, and a black jogging pants.

He looked up when he heard the door open. Wonwoo gave him a small smile.

They just stared at each other, not knowing how to approach the other.

Wonwoo sighed and went closer. “Can we go to your room?”

Junhui nodded. “O-Of course. Come,”

Wonwoo followed him to his room. They both sat down on his bed. They’re sitting close to each other, but not too close where they’re touching. 

They’re just sitting there. In silence.

Until Wonwoo decided to break the ice.

“When are you leaving?” 

Junhui was startled with Wonwoo’s question. He blinked twice and cleared his throat before answering. Jun and Minghao already told the members when they are leaving. 

So he doesn’t get why Wonwoo’s asking again.

“Next week.”

Wonwoo nodded and bit his lower lip.

“You’re coming back, right?” Wonwoo asked, his voice almost cracked. Wonwoo wants to chuckle at how he looks pathetic.

But Junhui doesn’t think so. He doesn’t even have a single clue why Wonwoo is here, and why Wonwoo is asking these questions.

“Of course, Wonwoo. We all renewed the contract. Of course, I’ll come back.”

“No,” Wonwoo shook his head. “I don’t want you to come back just because you’re Seventeen’s Jun… I want to make sure you’re coming back as my…” Wonwoo stuttered and hesitated before continuing, “I want to make sure you’ll come back as our Moon Junhui…”

Jun smiled and held Wonwoo’s hand that was fist into a ball. “Of course, Wonwoo. I’ll come back as your Moon Junhui,”

“I told you all, right? I renewed my contract because I love all of you. I’ll come back because I love all of you. I am not lying when I say you all make everything better, and easier.”

Wonwoo smiled and tightened his hold on Junhui’s hand. “I’ll hold onto that.”

Junhui chuckles. “Okay, sure.”

That night, Wonwoo and Jun slept on the same bed. Hugging each other, feeling each other's warmth without saying anything.

Because sometimes, silence is enough. 

☽

“Ya! Jun! How’s quarantine?” Jeonghan said in a surprisingly energetic voice.

Today is his second day of quarantine here in China. So of course, as of now, he’s doing fine. He’s using this time to rest.

“It’s still fine as of now.” Jun answered with a chuckle. His smile grew wider when Seungkwan and Joshua entered the frame.

“Junnie! I miss you!” Joshua said in a whining tone.

Jun chuckled. “I miss you too, hyung!”

“Ya! Moon Junnie!” Seungkwan pushed Jeonghan out of the way, and you can hear Jeonghan and Joshua’s giggle.

“What?” 

“Don’t what me! What do you mean you called Jeonghan-hyung and Shua-hyung yesterday but I didn’t receive a call?” Seungkwan pouted. “I thought you’re just dividing who you will call! But then! But then! You called Jeonghan-hyung again?! ”

Jeonghan, Joshua, and Jun bursted out laughing.

“Ya! Don’t laugh at me! I need a reasonable answer! Because the only reason I see is that you have favoritism!”

“No! I don’t have one! It’s just that I called Coups-hyung yesterday—he’s the first one that I called. I asked for your schedules, since I know he knows all of our schedules. He told me who will be busy and who will not.” Jun explained calmly, trying to appease his adorable dongsaeng.

“Tomorrow, Jeonghan-hyung has a schedule, so I’m planning to not call him tomorrow. I just don’t want to disturb any of you.” Jun adds.

“What? So if I’m busy the whole week, you won’t call me?!” Jun winced.

“I mean, I message everyday. On our group chat. And I try to message everyone individually.” 

Seungkwan pouted. “It’s still not enough! Try to call me!”

“Okay, okay, I will. Sorry,” Jun admits defeat.

“Good! I will be expecting you to call me at least once! Even if I won’t answer!” Seungkwan added.

Jun nods, “Okay. Okay.”

Joshua and Jeonghan laughed. “What are you? His boyfriend?!” Jeonghan exclaimed.

“What are you talking about? Can I not miss him?” Seungkwan glared at Jeonghan.

“And what do you mean boyfriend? If Wonu-hyung heard that—” Seungkwan covered his mouth while Jeonghan hit the back of his head.

“Huh? What’s with Wonwoo?” Jun asked, confused.

Joshua chuckled. “Nothing. Don’t mind Seungkwan. Have you contacted him?”

“I haven’t. He’s busy according to Coups-hyung. I think he’ll have some free time next week, so I might call then.”

The three of them gasped; Jun wants to laugh at how synchronized their gasps are.

“What?”

“How about a message?” Jeonghan asked.

“I did. I text everyone.” Jun.

Seungkwan shook his head and laughed out loud. “Ohhh, I’m going to brag about this! I’m going to brag later on our practice that I talked to Jun-hyung in a video call and that Jun-hyung will call me!” 

Seungkwan’s laugh sounds sinister, but what’s more sinister is the way the evil twins eyed each other and laughed as well.

“I don’t understand what you are all talking about.” Jun shook his head.

It was already Day 07 of Jun’s quarantine when he received a message from Wonwoo.

Wonwoo:

Are you awake?

Jun:

Yep. Why?

Wonwoo didn’t text back, instead, Jun received a call from him.

“Hey—” Jun was about to greet him when he noticed something wrong with Wonwoo.

His eyes look droopy and he is blushing, his cheeks are in a familiar blush.

“Jun-ah,” Wonwoo whispered. The camera is shaking and unsteady.

Wonwoo looks like he’s sitting on a sofa, there’s also laughter, bickering, and loud voices in the background. It seems Seventeen had a drink, and it looks like they’re in Wonwoo and Mingyu’s dorm.

“Are you drunk, Wonu?” Jun asked.

Wonwoo tsked. “You’re mean.”

“Huh?”

“I said you’re mean.” Wonwoo repeated.

“Why? What did I do?” Jun asked, confused on why Wonwoo is saying he’s mean.

He doesn't remember doing anything that will offend Wonwoo. He didn’t even bother him this week because he knew how busy he was.

He was doing a photoshoot with different magazines while having dance practice every night. He will only text him everyday to say goodluck for the day. That’s it. So he doesn’t understand.

“Let’s rephrase your question.” Wonwoo said and moved away the phone, Jun can now see his whole face. “What you didn’t do?”

“Huh?” This isn’t the first time that Jun got confused with what Wonwoo is saying.

Wonwoo hissed. “I have to be the one who will call? I really have to be the one who will reach out? Really? Really? Really, Junnie?”

“W-What?”

“I waited and waited and waited . For a week. I watch almost everyday how annoying Seungkwan and Hoshi are in bragging that you always call them? Especially Seungkwan?”

“Especially Seungkwan! He’s busier than I am! Than almost everyone of us! Yet, he receives a call. Every damn time.”

“You’re mean, Junnie.”

To say Jun is shocked is understatement. His mouth was wide open. He tried to speak but couldn't seem to utter a single word.

“What? Aren’t you going to say anything? Not even a sorry?” Wonwoo scowled.

“U-Uh… Wonwoo are you drunk? Do you want us to talk about this again when you’re sober?”

“I’m not drunk. Say something. Why didn’t you reach out to me?”

“You’re drunk. I’m going to call Mingyu and tell him to help you sober up. Maybe he can cook hangover soup—”

“I don’t need it. I’m not drunk. So Wen Junhui, stop being mean and answer me.” Wonwoo said in a louder voice, his face becoming redder.

Jun sighed and bit his lower lip. “I’m sorry,”

“I don’t need your apologies. I need to know the reason. This is unreasonable for me. A week without hearing your voice? You handled that? I even had to restrain myself and wait for you to call! But I still have to be the one to call!” Wonwoo lamented, his voice became louder.

Jun was silent. He didn’t know what to say. His heart beat louder, he felt like his heart was next to his ears.

“I hate it. I hate to be the one who will call you. Because I want to wait and see if you will reach out.” Wonwoo said in a hush. “But I know that I need to be the one who will call because between the two of us, you can handle it.”

“Between the two of us… you can tolerate not talking to me. And I can’t.” Wonwoo’s tone was bleak.

“No… it’s not that… it’s just… I knew you were busy. And I don’t want to disturb you. So I was waiting for you to have some free time, and then I’ll call.”

Wonwoo laughed sarcastically. “Really? But you call Seungkwan every day. He even tells me that even if he don’t answer, you still call.”

“So tell me, what’s our difference? Why can you call Seungkwan who is much busier than me? Why can you do it for him and not for me?”

Junhui heaved a deep sigh. “It’s because he told me I can do that. And he would prefer it if I do it because he misses me.”

“And what about me? I miss you too,” 

Jun’s eyes widened. He had to clasp his chest because it feels like his heart is about to go out of his ribcage.

“I’m sorry. I was just afraid that I’ll bother you since you’re busy.”

“Junnie, I’m never busy when it comes to you.”

Jun bit his lower lip and heaved a deep sigh, he felt like he’s suffocating.

“I’m sorry. I’ll call you from now on, even if you’ll not answer. Or I’ll just call our group chat so that I can call everyone.” Jun said, stammering. 

There’s a voice screaming at the back of his head. A powerful voice that is trying to seep out of his system. He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep sigh, in a desperate attempt to cast it away.

“Okay. Do that.” Wonwoo answered while nodding.

“Call the group chat. Don’t call them individually from now on.” Wonwoo added.

“O-Okay.” Jun said.

“I’ll not answer the group call, though.”

“What? Why?” 

“Or I’ll answer. When I’m in a good mood.” Wonwoo answered while nodding to himself.

“Why not? Why are you not gonna answer the call?”

Wonwoo smirked at him. “Because I want you to call me alone.”

“Oh.” Jun said, startled. He blinked his eyes a couple of times. “Okay.”

Wonwoo laughed, and that’s enough to make Jun smile and forget the worry that was sneaking at the back of his consciousness.

☽

“Junnie~ Myungho~ Annyeong~!”  Jeonghan was the first one to greet them.

He called their group chat and surprisingly, all of them were complete. Some of them were together so only one answered, like Jeonghan who answered the call but he’s being squeezed by DK and Seungkwan who was with him.

“How are you? I missed you!” Dino said.

Jun chuckled. “Today is my last day of filming.”

They all made happy noises. Some of them clapped, some were just making gibberish noises.

“Congrats! I can’t wait for the kissing scenes! I heard from Myungho there’s plenty!” Hoshi said in a loud voice.

“Yes! There’s plenty! I think, whenever I visit their taping, there’s always a kissing scene.” Minghao said teasingly.

“Is there a kissing scene later?” Mingyu asked. “I can’t wait to watch it!”

Jun’s face, neck, and ears are all red because they kept on talking about his kissing scenes.

“Why do you always ask for his kissing scenes? You don't even ask if he’s doing good. Or if he’s tired since it’s their last day of taping.” Wonwoo interrupts the members who are teasing him.

“Woah! Woah! Chill!” Cheol said while laughing.

“I am chill.” Wonwoo said. “It’s just irritating that you’ve been talking about kissing scene for the past minute, and you also always talk about it.”

Jeonghan laughed so loud. “Why not? It’ll be the first time that a member will have a kissing scene. For sure Carats will also talk about it.”

“Right,” Vernon agreed. “I bet they’ll gonna make a compilation of it.”

“And I’m gonna make sure to send it to our GC.” Joshua added that made everyone burst into laughter.

“All of you are annoying.” Wonwoo said, scowling.

“Hyung, why are you getting mad? Moon Junnie is not even mad! He’s just laughing! Right, Jun-hyung?” Seungkwan said.

Jun blinked, he don’t know what to say. It’s true that he’s not mad and not offended. He knew that one of Seventeen’s love language is teasing. And he knew the moment he accepted the role that he will receive endless teasings from them. Seventeen doesn’t know how to move on with their decade-old jokes.

“Uh, yes, I’m not mad. It’s fine.” Jun answered. He looked at Wonwoo who’s brows were frowning.

“See?! He’s not mad!” Seungkwan said.

“Who says Wonwoo is mad because he’s worried about Jun’s feelings? You know there’s other reason for that,” Jihoon said and laughed.

“Huh?” Jun asked, not sure if he understands it completely.

They all burst out of laughter while Wonwoo remained scowling and Jun is left confused.

“Junhui! Are you busy? Let’s take a picture!” Miaoyi went closer to him.

“Oh! You’re talking with your friends, sorry!” Miaoyi was about to leave when Jun pulled her wrist.

“No. It’s fine. I’ll introduce you them, even though you’ve met Minghao and it’s just a video call.” Jun said.

“Oh, I would love to!” She said and beamed.

Jun smiled and focused the camera to her. “Guys, this is Miaoyi,”

They all greeted her, Dino even tried his best to introduce himself in Mandarin.

“I’ll hang up now. Something came up,” Wonwoo said and ended the call.

“Eyy , Jeon Wonwoo. Tsk. Tsk. ” Mingyu said while shaking his head.

“Is he okay?” Jun asked, worried.

“He’s fine. Don’t mind him, he’s just trying to prevent being hurt.” Jihoon said meaningfully and laughed.

“Hurt? Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine! Don’t mind him! Maybe he’s hungry, or he wants to go to the toilet.” DK said while laughing.

That night, he had a dinner with Minghao. They also decided to drink to commemorate the ending of his shooting.

“Is Wonwoo okay?” Jun asked.

“Why do you ask?” 

Jun shrugged. “Ever since the group call earlier, I haven’t got the chance to talk to him. Usually, he will answer my call or reply.”

Minghao laughed. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Hmm…”

They were quiet for a while, Jun was still thinking if Wonwoo is doing fine.

“Jun-ge…” Minghao called.

“Hmm…”

“I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“You like boys, right?” Minghao asked directly.

Junhui chokes on the beer that he’s drinking.

“W-What kind of question is that?” Jun stuttered.

Minghao shrugged. “What’s wrong? I mean, we all knew about our sexual preferences before debut. We admitted it to each other.”

“Yeah, you knew. So why suddenly ask?”

“I just want to make sure again.”

“You’re weird.” Jun said and shook his head.

Minghao laughed. “Do you think you will like one of our members? Like, like romantically?”

Minghao’s question caught Jun off guard.

He had a goosebump when an image of a certain member flashed on his mind.

He looked away and coughed. He felt his ears blush. “I–I don’t think so,”

Minghao tsked and shook his head. “You’re blushing. And I can when you’re lying.”

“N-No, I’m telling the truth!”

Minghao shrugged. “Okay, fine. But I think Wonwoo-ge likes you.”

Jun sat straight and he felt like someone electrocuted him.

“Don’t joke around, Hao.”

“What do you mean by a joke? That man literally looks at you with stars and galaxies in his eyes! He always pays attention to you, he’s always clingy, you two have your own world!”

“No. He’s like that to everyone.”

“You think so? Then tell me this, why did he ask you to call him everyday?”

“W-What’s wrong with that? Seungkwan also asks me to do it.”

“Wanna know the difference?” Minghao laughed. “Seungkwan also asks me to call him everyday. But not Wonwoo-ge. He only messages me, we only call once a week. Unlike with how he is with you.”

“Let’s stop this conversation, Minghao. This is absurd.” Jun stood up and went to the bathroom.

He washed his face to freshen up and looked at himself in the mirror.

There’s no way Wonwoo likes him.

There’s no fucking way.

Why would Wonwoo like him, right? Those actions don't mean anything. Besides, he sees Jeonghan and Seungcheol be clingy towards each other on and off cam but Cheol will go and fuck other women and men around. Mingyu acts like Minghao is his world but has multiple girlfriends or flings. 

Actions don’t mean anything. And he doesn't want to assume because he knows that if he’s wrong, he’ll never be able to recuperate. He’ll be broken beyond repair. He knew to himself that it would be his destruction.

And he won’t entertain those words from Minghao.

So unless Wonwoo tells him outright, he will never assume. And he will never dare cross the thin line between friendship and… that.

☽☽☽

Minghao and Jun just finished their quarantine and now, Seventeen gave them a warm welcome by renting the whole floor of a hotel.

They were drinking until some of them passed out. 

Wonwoo decided to go back to his room. He actually wanted to stay and be with Junhui.

He missed him. He missed him so fucking much. He doesn’t even want to let go of him. But his social battery is draining and some of them are still energetic.

He’ll just wait for Junnie in their room since they're roommates.

It was already almost dawn when Jun went back to their room. Wonwoo was startled, he was already sleeping when he heard the room open, followed by Jun’s voice.

“Wonwoo?” 

Wonwoo stood up from the bed and went closer to Jun who was clearly drunk. He shook his head and held him so that he could support him while walking.

“You’re wasted, Junnie.”

“Wonu…” Jun clasped Wonwoo’s cheeks, he winced since Jun reeks of alcohol.

“I love you.” 

Wonwoo felt like his world stopped.

Is this happening? He whispered to himself. Is this it?

“Jun…”

“I love you. I love all the members. Coups-hyung, Jeonghan-hyung, Shua-hyung, Hoshi, Uji, Minghao, Seokmin, Mingyu, Seungkwannie, Hansol, Channie… I love all of them.”

Wonwoo’s shoulder dropped. Damn, right. You love everyone. Fuck that.

“Come, let’s get you washed up.” Wonwoo tried to pull Junhui but Junhui shook his head. 

Junhui hugged Wonwoo’s waist and he leaned his head on Wonwoo’s shoulder, resting his head at the crook of his neck.

“I love all of them, Wonu… but…”

“But my love for you is different. I love you.”

Wonwoo felt like someone was gripping his heart and at the same time caressing it. He felt his heart ache, but a good kind of ache. He didn’t know that was possible.

“I love you.”

Wonwoo smiled. Damn. Is this what it feels like to win? 

“I love you, Wonwoo. I feel like I will cry if I try to deny this any longer.”

Wonwoo smiled and held his face to make him look into his eyes. He felt a tug on his heart when he saw him pout. “You don’t have to cry, Junnie.”

“Okay.” Jun said.

“Good.”

“I love you, Wonu.”

Wonwoo laughed. “Damn, I have to order a hangover soup. I need to hear you say that while being sober.”

“Okay, go order.”

Wonwoo giggled at how cute he is. “Later. Let’s wash you up first.”

“Where’s my I love you too, first?”

Wonwoo laughed. His right hand held Jun’s waist, while the left caressed Jun’s right cheek. He leaned his forehead on Jun’s forehead.

“You have no fucking idea how much I waited for you to realize your feelings, Junnie. You don’t know how much I love you.”

Jun smiled widely. “I love you so much, too.”

“And I love you more.”

“No! I love you more!”

And that night, Wonwoo received a hundred I love yous from Jun.

Wonwoo smirked. He can’t wait to hear Jun say it while sober. And he can already imagine Jun trying to deny it.

I will not let you go, Wen Junhui.