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Pac, as Cellbit was starting to notice, clung to a lot of things. He’d noticed that before, to a different degree – the way Pac would cling to Cell when they fucked, the way he would keep clinging well after they were done, holding onto him like a stuffed animal and keeping him from leaving. The way he would cling to his actual stuffed animal, some ragged little cow that Felps had given him. Cellbit still rolled his eyes when he thought about that; he had confronted the guard about it, about why Pac was allowed to keep some of his personal items and why Felps was giving him gifts on top of it.
Felps had just sighed and shook his head and said, “He’s just a kid, Cellbit”. And that only made Cell scoff. ‘Just a kid’. Nobody had taken that pity on him; and Pac wasn’t a kid anyways! He was.. what, twenty-something!
…It mildly occurred to Cellbit that he didn’t actually know how old Pac was. He’d never really thought to ask. He knew Pac had to be at least eighteen, though, because he was in the prison at all.
Cell sighed and shook his head. He stared across the jail cell at Pac, curled up on the shitty excuse of a bed and clinging to that fucking cow. Cell scowled. Pac clung to anything - anyone - he could get his arms around.
He clung to Mike the worst, though. They were fucking inseparable when they were out of their cells during the day. For God’s sakes, Cell was pretty sure they probably pissed together.
And he absolutely wasn’t jealous about it. No way. He wasn’t jealous of how Pac clung so tightly to Mike’s arm, treating it like a lifeline that he couldn’t be separated from. He wasn’t jealous of how Mike stood between Pac and.. well, everything. Literally everything, and especially other people. Any time somebody got close to them, Mike would put himself in front of Pac like a fucking guard dog.
It was especially obvious when Cell got close, and it drove him a little insane. He couldn’t get Pac alone for even a second except at nights, when he could sneak his way into the cell.
Which is exactly what he was doing now. Sat in the corner, staring at Pac like a mouse he was trying to catch. A pretty fitting comparison, actually; Pac interested him, like.. well, like prey, obviously. In other ways, too, though. Cell was starting to realize, more and more, that he was rather interested in learning about Pac. About what made the younger man tick, what scared him. How somebody seemingly so cautious and shy and.. well, good, managed to end up here. And why he was so, fucking, clingy.
Cell’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of small, distressed whines. He jerked his head up to look at Pac; he had rolled over in his sleep, now facing Cellbit. The cow was laying on the floor next to the bed, clearly either having been dropped or accidentally pushed off with Pac’s movements.
What caught Cellbit’s eye, though, was the small glint of metal around Pac’s neck, something he had one hand wrapped around. The younger, still clearly fast asleep, looked distressed as he clung to the object. Another thing.
He’s having a nightmare, a small voice somewhere in Cellbit’s head chided. Check on him. Comfort him. Do something besides sit and stare at him.
Cell stayed still for a bit longer before he gave in. He slowly – quietly, as quietly as he could – crawled closer to the bed. He gave a small, awkward shushing noise as he picked the cow up off the floor. His nose scrunched a bit at all the dust it had managed to pick up, brushing it off before he tried to place it back in Pac’s arms.
As he did, he tried to get a closer peek at the thing around Pac’s neck. The younger let go of it when Cell put the cow in his arms, and Cell could see it clearly as it fell against the bed. It was a necklace, obviously, but..
..It was a cross. A fucking cross.
Suddenly, some of Pac’s little whiny comments made sense, and Cellbit couldn’t stop the sharp snort that came out of him.
“Huh–?” Pac jerked awake at the sound with a start. Cellbit backed away from the bed, but he couldn’t get himself into his little tunnel before Pac noticed him.
“..Cell?”
Shit.
Cellbit turned around, sitting himself on the floor. He stared up at Pac, putting on the best smug look he could manage right then. “..Oi, queridinho.”
“..What are you doing? What time is it..? ..How did you get in here..?” Pac rubbed his eyes, looking around the cell wearily.
..It was almost.. cute, Cell thought, the way Pac looked around like a child; only amplified by the cow clutched against his chest in his other arm.
Cell shrugged and shifted closer to the bed. “Eh.. probably midnight..” He tilted his head to the side, watching Pac for any sign of fear. The last thing he needed was for Pac to suddenly freak out and alert the guards. He decided not to answer the last question. ..Or the first one.
Thankfully, Pac didn’t press the last question. “..What are you doing..?”
Cellbit sighed. He looked around, trying to come up with some answer before he responded. “..You were making a lot of noise,” is all he said.
..Obviously, that wasn’t true, but.. hey, he was making noise at the end there.
Pac’s face screwed up into.. somewhere between a frown and a pout. Whatever it was, even Cellbit could tell it was a look of upset.
And, before he could catch himself, Cell asked, “..Are you alright?”
Normally he would never want to get himself dragged into someone else’s.. emotional.. bullshit, but.. something about Pac made him want to care.
Pac took a while to respond. When he finally did, he just nodded, and he wouldn’t look Cellbit in the face.
He was lying. Cellbit scowled. He hated when people lied to him. He shifted again suddenly, climbing onto the bed and sitting on his knees beside Pac, staring down at him.
When he spoke, though, his voice was nowhere near the angry, intimidating tone he was trying to muster. “What’s wrong?”
Pac flinched at the sudden movement and stared up at the older man. He still looked a bit startled, which made Cellbit give a small purr in satisfaction.
Nonetheless, Pac was quiet for a while still. He pushed himself to sit up on the bed, leaning his back against the cold stone wall. “..I was having a nightmare,” he says finally. Cellbit watched as he shifted the cow into one arm, and moved his other hand to cling once more onto the cross around his neck.
“..About that?” Cellbit asked. Pac looked up at him and tilted his head, giving the other a look of confusion.
“..The cross,” Cell prompted, nodding his head towards the necklace.
“..Oh,” Pac’s voice sounded small. He looked away from Cellbit, seeming to squirm under his gaze. Normally, that would spur Cell on, make him feel.. something. But..<
..Well, this wasn’t normal. And this time, Cellbit didn’t feel anything but.. guilty.
He cursed under his breath, both at himself for feeling that way and Pac for making him feel that way. Nonetheless, he shifted his demeanor. He relaxed, and moved to sit next to Pac on the bed. Pac made a small noise of surprise, but he didn’t look up.
“..What was it about?” Cellbit asked finally, his voice softer than he thought he could ever make it.
Pac sniffled. He shifted and hugged his cow tighter, and finally responded in a small whine. “..I want to go home.”
And that was it. Pac shattered, breaking into sobs. He turned to face Cellbit, wrapping his arms around the other’s torso and burying his face into his side as he cried.
Cellbit.. for once, didn’t have anything to say. He stayed silent, staring down at Pac, before he slowly wrapped his own arms around him.
..It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to touch – shit, Pac’s been all over him before, but that was different. That was.. well, fucking. This was.. vulnerable. Emotional. Pac wasn’t begging for release this time, he was begging for something Cellbit couldn’t even begin to dream of giving.
He was begging for escape. For home. For solace.
Cellbit stayed quiet for a bit longer, just.. awkwardly holding Pac and letting him cry. He didn’t say anything until Pac had calmed down, his sobs turning into weak gasps and sniffles.
“..What was it like?” He asked finally. He ran one hand along Pac’s back, biting back the small swell of pride he felt when Pac pressed closer to him.
Pac sniffled again, laying his head on Cellbit’s side. “..Cozy,” he mumbles after a bit. “Safe,” he paused and hummed and nuzzling his face against Cell. “The sisters were nice..”
"Sisters?” Cellbit echoed. He tilted his head to the side, looking down. “You have sisters?”
Pac giggled. He giggled, and Cell’s chest did.. something. He would unpack that later. Maybe. Pac looked up at him for a minute and gave a goofy smile, before he pressed his face back into Cellbit’s side. “No.. I don’t have any siblings. The sisters,” he repeated the phrase with emphasis. “The nuns.”
Oh. Duh. Cellbit nodded. He made a small noise to prompt Pac to keep talking.
“..It was a Catholic home,” Pac elaborated. “Me and Mikey grew up there.. The sisters took care of us most of the time.”
Cellbit nodded again. “Mhm?” He mumbled, starting to rub Pac’s side carefully. For once, he found himself actually concerned about leaving a mark on the other.
Pac smiled, nuzzling into Cellbit at the affection. He fell quiet for a while, much longer this time. Cell didn’t say anything; figuring Pac was trying to find the words – it was, after all, late as hell, and Pac struggled putting sentences together sometimes, anyways. Cellbit didn’t exactly have much to say himself regardless.
After a good five minutes, though, Cellbit nudged him lightly. “Pac?”
A small squeak was all that Cell got in response, and as he looked down at Pac, he realized the other had fallen asleep. Pac was pressed up into Cellbit’s side, as close as he could get, clinging to him as tight as he could possibly manage.
Cellbit sighed. He certainly was not going to be able to move without waking Pac up, so.. he just resigned himself to his fate. He shifted slowly, maneuvering the two to lay down. Pac mumbled in his sleep, wrapping his arms around Cellbit’s shoulder and only pulling him closer.
Cellbit settled himself into the bed, resting his own arm across Pac’s side. He closed his eyes, letting himself start to fall into sleep.
He certainly still didn’t understand why Pac had to cling to everything, but some part of him was happy that one of those things was him.