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“We’re cutting your hair, Rensuke,” Chigiri declared firmly, running his fingers through Rensuke’s hair.
“No. And don’t call me Rensuke.” Rensuke swatted Chigiri’s hand away, feeling his face burn with embarrassment.
“Why not, Cyborg Rensuke? That’s your name, isn’t it?” Chigiri taunted, and Rensuke can only feel his anger growing.
“Leave me alone. You can call me Kunigami, just like everyone else.”
Rensuke got to his feet and began walking back to his room. These ‘rest days’ between the end of the Neo Egoist League matches and whatever Ego had planned next for them was frankly torture. With Bastard Munchen, Rensuke had his own room-it had worked out that all the other Blue Lock boys had fit into rooming arrangements evenly except for him, and Noa’s idea was to keep the Blue Lockers and the Bastard Munchen U-20 team separate.
Fitting that I was alone, when I’m neither .
None of the members of the Neo Egoist Bastard Munchen really cared to bother him or bring him into practice. It was an earned solitary life for him, the living Blue Lock man, the monster hiding amongst men for them to rise up and defeat.
Except for when Chigiri and Bachira came to harass him that one time. Now, with everyone joined together, he was much more susceptible to Chigiri’s attention. Not that he understood the point.
“HA! Right where I want you.”
Rensuke groaned as he took the shower head to hose off his body.
“Go. Away,” Rensuke grunted.
“C’mon, you’ll feel so much better when I chop your hair back to normal,” Chigiri pleaded, popping up from behind Rensuke in the mirror and running his hands through Rensuke’s hair, pushing it every which way as an attempt to convince Rensuke or…whatever.
“Why are you touching me?” Rensuke grumbled, ignoring the fact that it felt nice to have someone touch him, especially in such a nice way. He wanted to melt into it, but he clenched his teeth and remembered his training in Wild Card.
Everything is a distraction to becoming the next Noel Noa.
But he’d already failed at that, hadn’t he?
“To get a feel for your hair, Rensuke.” The way Chigiri always sing-songed his given name made Rensuke feel…weird.
“A haircut isn’t going to undo what happened to me.”
“Yeah, yeah, Emo-gami. Nothing will, I get it. Maybe you have to realize that too. Sometimes you can just do things, you know?”
Of course Rensuke knew that in the literal sense. But ever since Wild Card…that really hadn’t been an option. Everything he did was to become the next Noel Noa, to be Ego’s perfect tool. He had failed at doing either of those well enough. Sure, he was still good at football, good enough to make it to the U20 World Cup team, but he wasn’t serving a purpose now. He wasn’t serving his own purpose of heroism, wasn’t serving Ego’s purpose…
“I feel like I’ve just been doing things for no reason for a while now,” Rensuke huffed out.
He stared at the two of them in the mirror, letting his heavy huff out fog up the mirror slightly. His hair was untamed and wild, just like him. Cutting it wouldn’t change him, but…maybe it would be a start to treating himself nicer. He wasn’t going to be getting rid of those eyebags any time soon anyways.
“Why do you want to do this anyways?” Rensuke added, glancing back at Chigiri, who’s eyes lit up. He seemed to know that Rensuke was submitting to his request, even before Rensuke had truly let on.
“Because I care about you, dumbass cyborg,” Chigiri replied bluntly. “Do you seriously not know that?”
His hands reached back into Rensuke’s hair, and Rensuke flinched at the suddenness, but didn’t stop him, as Chigiri tilted his head back and forth, trying to assess all angles in the mirror.
“I don’t know.”
“Ugh, Wild Card really brought out your worst attributes.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Chigiri shrugged. “You could never take a compliment before, but now you’re actively self-loathing. What happened to make you hate yourself so much, to make you think I wouldn’t care about you?”
Rensuke let out a long sigh.
“I watched you forget about me.”
“Huh? What the hell are you talking about?”
Rensuke didn’t know what to say. How did he explain what Ego showed him?
“Y’know what, stay right here. I’m gonna get my scissors.”
“Are we really gonna do this naked?” Rensuke called after Chigiri.
Of course, he made the mistake of getting a nice look at Chigiri’s beautiful, dripping wet, sleek, slender body. His hair was tossed over his shoulder, exposing his nape to Rensuke as well. Such an elegant, vulnerable place…
“Why not?” Chigiri responded, snapping Rensuke out of his horny reverie. “It’s a bonding experience, which you definitely need.”
“It’s…intimate. We’re not bathing or anything, we’re just doing something…normal,” Rensuke replied awkwardly, shifting on the stool he was on. “Besides, won’t we be in someone’s way?”
“There’s literally no one else here, dude.” He caught Chigiri’s blank stare behind him in the mirror and groaned, relenting himself to his fate. “Besides, there’s a mirror here. Really, what’s your problem? We’re not naked naked anyways.”
Though Chigiri was right, the tiny towel wrapped around his waist was leaving little to Rensuke’s imagination.
“It feels more vulnerable. I don’t know how that makes me feel,” Rensuke admitted, letting his head droop.
“Rensuke…” Chigiri trailed off. “I’ve got you right now. Can you trust that?”
Rensuke looked down at his feet. “Hmm, I guess I can trust you with my hair.”
Chigiri laughed at that, and Rensuke felt himself smirk a little. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard that laugh.
“Heyyy, you’re not moping for once!” Chigiri cheered, and Rensuke quickly ducked back down again, avoiding his eyes. “Head up if I’m gonna cut your hair.”
Rensuke allowed Chigiri to gently grab him by the sides of his head and have him look up straight at the mirror.
“Gonna start now, okay?” Chigiri explained, and Rensuke nodded slightly.
Chigiri began at his ends near his neck, which had grown out the most notably. He measured them out with his fingers then clipped away.
“When I’d cut my sister’s hair, and she’d cut mine, we’d use the time to talk to each other about stuff,” Chigiri explained. “I dunno if you ever cut your sisters’ hair or anything but-”
“I didn’t cut it, but I styled it,” Rensuke murmured. “I grew up playing with my elder sister’s hair, and by the time my younger sister was around I was nearly a pro.”
“Cute,” Chigiri giggled. “Sounds like you were a good brother then.”
“Yeah, I’d like to think so. I’d hate for them to see what I’ve become.”
He took a real look at the mirror-Chigiri had begun to start looking at the wildness at the top now. Tentatively, Rensuke moved his hand back to feel the back of his neck. It was shorter again, but not the same it had been before.
“I can shave it down again if you want after,” Chigiri hummed.
“Thanks,” Rensuke started. “But I dunno. I don’t think I wanna look the exact same as I did. I’d just feel even more like a shell.”
“Damn…” Chigiri trailed off, lowering his scissors. “I think you owe me a little explanation. As a trade for me cutting your hair.”
Rensuke tensed up. “You offered.”
Chigiri frowned. “Ugh, I know, but still. I just wanna know how you came back so different. And you said you watched me forget about you. What the hell does that mean?”
“I’ll tell you if you promise to not get mad and stick the scissors into my skull.”
Chigiri snorted at that. “I can’t promise I won’t get mad, but I’m not that kind of crazy bitch. The scissors will end up in the wall if anything.”
Rensuke shivered at that. While he never actively considered it, never liking the idea of using his horrible strength to hurt someone, especially someone he overall cared about like Chigiri, he knew he could take Chigiri in a fight if needed. But here, naked with his head in Chigiri’s scissored-wielding hands, he was at a clear disadvantage. He was like a caged animal. For all their biological weapons, once hurt by something they can’t understand, well:
“The last thing I want is to be hurt again.”
“Why would I hurt you?” Chigiri asked, eyes wide with concern and confusion.
“Why did any of this happen?” Rensuke grunted.
“Because Shidou’s a freak?” Chigiri supplied, but Rensuke shook his head.
“Not his fault I wasn’t good enough to beat him.”
“I-whatever, this isn’t the point. Just tell me at the very least why you think I forgot about you, while I cut some of this fluff off.” Rensuke groaned, but as Chigiri began to snip away at his hair, he figured he should relent.
“Ego knew we were close, from watching how people interacted. He made it sound like a reward for how well I was doing in Wild Card, and asked if I wanted to see one of my friends.”
“He did all this while getting us ready to play the Japan U-20 team?” Chigiri asked.
“No. Wild Card was weird. During what I guess was that point in time, we only saw Ego a few times. It was when I guess you guys all left he was more involved with us. He had video of the U-20 game.”
“I guess he showed you my performance,” Chigiri snorted, and Rensuke noticed his clenched teeth.
“You played well. And I’ve watched you since. He wouldn’t dare take you out now,” Rensuke replied simply.
“Ha, thanks,” Chigiri laughed. “But, I’m fine, really. Just don’t like to think about it that much.”
“Yeah. I wish I could’ve been there. I would’ve…”
Rensuke trailed off. It was foolish to admit such an emotional thing.
“You would’ve what?” Chigiri teased.
Wrong call around Chigiri. Of course.
“Does it matter?”
“It’s about me, isn’t it?”
“Fine. I would’ve comforted you.”
Chigiri’s eyes went wide. “You thought that even like this?”
“Yeah. So what?”
“I thought you wouldn’t is all. Hadn’t you seen me ‘forget about you’ by then?”
“Well, I dunno. As much as it stung, it couldn’t fully change how I felt about you.”
Chigiri snipped another clump of hair off and moved around to look Rensuke in the eyes, even pulling over another stool. “I’m done. Now tell me what the hell that means. You can’t just be saying this stuff now and then closing right back up.”
Rensuke regretted ever letting Chigiri cut his hair.
“I care about you a lot, okay. I do even now. But I think I care about you more than you care about me. Sure, you’re bothering me now, but you didn’t even think about me when I was gone, or care that I had been eliminated. Ego showed me the clips. When Bachira and Isagi asked if you would miss me, you said I was just another person gone and that’s just how things were in Blue Lock. Then I saw you getting closer with Nagi, Bachira, and Isagi. Closer than I ever had the chance to ever get with you. And you never spared me a thought,”
“Rensuke…” Chigiri’s eyes were sad, and Rensuke looked away, not wanting his pity. “C’mon…you don’t think Ego would fuck with what he showed you? Only show you things that would make you feel bad?”
“Of course I considered that. But at the same time, what he showed me was real all the same. Didn’t make it hurt any less.”
“Ask anyone you know how I reacted to not seeing you walk out that door. I was horrified, miserable. I didn’t understand how you didn’t make it through… make it back to me.” Chigiri stood up to emphasize his point. “Ego didn’t show you that. I had to tell Isagi and Bachira that’s how things were because even though I believed that we just had to move on for our own sanity, letting people know I missed you would’ve put a target on me. When we were able to hang out for that time after Blue Lock, I tried to find you, you know. I looked all over for your social media, but it was private and I couldn’t message you.”
“Hah, it wouldn’t have worked anyways,” Rensuke snarked.
Chigiri huffed, but he seemed calmer now. “Yeah, I know that now. I still would’ve tried like crazy though if I could’ve. You need to give me your number so we can avoid this in the future.”
“This doesn’t change anything y’know. I’m still a mess.”
“Oh right. You haven’t seen the final product!” Chigiri suddenly grinned and ducked back behind Rensuke to present his finished work. “Ta-da! The new Kunigami Rensuke!”
Rensuke looked at his new haircut. It was no longer as fluffy and untamed as it had grown out to be, but it wasn’t as close cut as parts of it had initially been either. Chigiri had also cut his bangs a bit shorter and pushed them aside to show his forehead.
“Isn’t the phrase ‘new and improved’?” Rensuke asked. “It’s nice though. A fresh start.”
“Well, improved makes it sound like you were bad before, and that’s just not true.”
Rensuke laughed a little. “Huh. Well, thanks…Hyoma.”