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The aftermath of the last battle was different from all the previous ones. Yes, they had defeated the three Death Drivers, but at what cost? This victory had left a bittersweet taste in all their souls.
The second his pedes had touched the ground, Isami had stumbled out of his cockpit, against Bravern's advices about his physical condition, and had fallen unceremoniously on the ground from exhaustion. It had scared the metcha - and everyone else - incredibly, but after some quick checks it was stated that Isami hadn't suffered any serious damages, apparently , so he was unconsciously took to the med-bay to rest and do more deep exams in the bat of an eye- or optic in Bravern's case.
He had initially thought about offering to help for whatever the humans would have needed, but the growing knot in his abdomen compartments - where he used to have a stomach - made him reconsider it.
Isami wasn't the only one left strained by the fight after all.
Bravern left the humans to mourn their fallen comrades and went to meditate somewhere else, away from their prying eyes and ears; since he had become 'Bravern' he hadn't got the opportunity to spend some time alone with himself, to take a moment to understand who he was now.
It all had been so fast and his mind had got sucked in the torrent of events and new emotions.
Never he would have imagined how great the feeling of being rode, of having his soul connected to the one of a pilot - his pilot -, would have been. From Cunus he had known the sensation a power source, Lulu, could provide; but it was nothing compared to what Isami sparked in him even by just standing at his side.
It was addicting. And the notion of it made his internals twist on themselves in an unpleasant way; Bravern was sure that, if it was physically possible, he would have puked.
The more time passed the more it was hard to separate from his Isami; he felt so empty when he wasn't with him.
The human part of his soul, Smith , was afraid he was slowly - or rather say quickly - descending in a dangerous spiral of obsession for his companion.
What if he reached a point where letting Isami get out of him would bacome unbearable?
What if he completely lost his mind over him? What if he reached the point of imprisoning him inside his cockpit, never letting him go?
No . Nononono. It would never happen, he was in full controll of himself; he just needed to learn who he was again, the solution to this problem would have come as a consequence.
There was so much he still didn't know about himself.
Like, what was he now?
The union of a human soul and a Death Driver's, that was simple; but what did it implicate? It wasn't the desire of death to fuel him - and for this he was grateful -, but the desire to protect every life form.
No, he wasn't a human but neither a Death Driver, he was something in between, something new and it scared him; to know there probably wasn't anyone else like him out there, nobody that could relate to his experience or help him understand.
It felt lonely.
Bravern couldn't tell anybody who he really was, too complicated, too difficult, too-
He just couldn't, even if he yearned for a way to vent out all of his torments.
Maybe, after all of this, he could have told Isami, but right now it was better for everyone if he kept his mouth shut about the topic.
After all of this. He hadn't even thought about what was going to happen to him once the Death Drivers were completely defeated!
Will Isami still be his pilot?
Will he even have a good reason to?
The two of them haven't become close enough to think about a future together yet, Bravern was unfortunately conscious of it; trying to rush things between them hadn't been the best course of action maybe, but how could have he stopped himself? He was given a second chance to be with Isami and he did not intend to waste a second of it.
If he could have just told him the truth all of this would have been so much easier, but it would have also complicated things increasingly.
All of this was causing him an helmache.
What would have he said anyway?
"Hey, all this time I've not been completely honest with you and the others. I'm actually Smith, so you don't have to mourn him, because I'm right here! The only thing is that I'm not totally Smith as I'm not totally Cunus- what? oh yeah, I forgot this little particular, hehehe. You see I'm actually the result of the union between Smith's soul and Cunus' soul! But that is not the point! The point is that I'm here Isami, I'm still alive! I'm just an alien robot now and someone else- "
See? Too complicated. Waiting was the best option, no matter how much it would have hurt.
Maybe it was better if he thought about more important things: a new problem he had now was how they'd resolve the war.
Bravern had catapulted himself headstrong and with impatience in every battle until that moment, but now he was blind about what the future reserved like everyone else; from now on he needed to be more careful, to ponder his every move, there had already been too many casualties and he couldn't permit for more soldiers to die.
He didn't know what habilities the remaining Death Drivers had.
The last three they fought were strong opponents and if it wasn't for Cunus losing her mind - or so had said Pessimism - they would have probably lost.
A mental image of his abdomen cut half open and Isami's body covered in blood popped in his mind.
Bravern immediately banished the thought.
He was a hero! It was his duty to see everything in an optimistic light! No need to overthink what could or could have not happened. It was past, it didn't matter anymore.
Isami was not going to die. Bravern wouldn't let it happen.
He had transcended space and time just for him, their souls were tied to each other, all he desired was to protect him and never part away from him; nothing would ever happen to Isami under his watch.
Bravern would maintain their promise.
They would save Earth together.
Bravern kept ruminating until he was ordered to head back to base.