Chapter Text
When Eunchae was 9, she met Yunjin for the first time. She remembers how her ears rang when her 12 year-old sister had brought her new friend over for the first time. She remembers how Yunjin smiled at her and how Chaewon took Yunjin’s hand up the stairs. She remembers her sister yelling from the top of the stairs and how she heard a new set of footsteps running towards the room at the end of the hallway above her head.
“Don’t bother us, Eunchae! Stay downstairs! Mom put food in the fridge!”
Eunchae remembers sitting down and eating slowly, savoring the food her mom had made the night before. When she finished, she plopped herself onto the couch and turned on the television. She tried really, really hard to not get bored, just for her sister. But sadly, it ended with her lying upside down on the couch, her head hanging off the edge of the cushion. She sat up and sighed.
Eunchae remembers creeping up the stairs and walking slowly towards the door at the end of the hallway, slightly ajar. She remembers hearing her sister and her friend giggle before sneaking a glance towards the door. Chaewon got up from her spot on her bed beside Yunjin and abruptly walked towards the door, opening it so she could see Eunchae fully.
“I thought I told you to stay downstairs.”
“I’m bored.”
“And I’m not.”
“But I am.”
“We’re busy, Eunchae. Go watch TV downstairs or something. Did you eat?”
Eunchae remembers how Yunjin’s head popped out from behind Chaewon, looking at her and listening in on the conversation intently.
“Yeah, but…”
“But?”
“I don’t know, I’m bored.”
Eunchae remembers how badly she hoped her sister would invite her in to meet her new friend. Yunjin looked interesting, she seemed nice, and she was very pretty.
“And what do you want me to do about that?”
(Eunchae believes these responses were pretty tame compared to the “I literally don’t care. Go watch TV or whatever you do downstairs.” responses she usually gets.)
“Chaewon?”
She remembers how her sister turned her head back and hummed. She remembers how she thought this was the nicest her sister had ever acted around anyone, ever.
“I think she just wants to join us.”
“What?”
Eunchae doesn’t remember how she ended up in Chaewon’s room, sitting beside Yunjin. She does, however, remember how much fun she had that day, how much she had smiled, and how much her sister had laughed, even at the worst jokes Yunjin had cracked. Yunjin’s energy was infectious and anyone who had known Chaewon for most of her life would know that she never laughed that hard.
(Yunjin had said some dad jokes , as she called them, which, Eunchae thinks, if she were to say to Chaewon, would most definitely get her kicked out of the room.)
Eunchae learned a few things about Yunjin, apart from her name:
- She just recently moved to Korea from America, recently being two weeks ago.
- She’s really good at English. Like freakishly good at English.
- Yunjin was loud. Eunchae was 50% sure she saw her neighbors covering their ears whenever Yunjin laughed.
- She’s very pretty. How did her sister, Chaewon, of all people, become friends with this girl?
- She’s very sweet. Maybe Eunchae was biased, but who just gives away all her snacks to her friend’s 9 year-old sister she barely knows? Yunjin does.
Eunchae remembers talking to her sister after Yunjin had left.
“She’s very pretty.”
“I know, Eunchae. You told her, like, 18 times during the two hours she was here.”
“I’m not wrong! She’s sweet too. How’d you guys become friends anyway? She’s way too pretty for you.”
“I swear to God—“
She remembers screaming and running from her sister, fearing for her life.
When Eunchae was 10, she complained to herself about just how much her sister had talked about Yunjin, since she’d be murdered and laying in her own blood if she ever expressed these thoughts to Chaewon. Yunjin this, Yunjin that, it was getting tiring. And annoying. But Chaewon being friends with Yunjin also had a few perks of its own, too.
“Yunjin brought snacks from America,” Chaewon told Eunchae, who was sitting across from her at the dining table, as she put her phone down. Their mom was working a night shift today, so it was just Chaewon and Eunchae alone. “Do you want some?”
Eunchae remembers thanking the gods above for the way Yunjin affected her sister. Ever since they’d become friends, Chaewon grew a teensy bit nicer every passing day.
Eunchae grinned. “Please! What’d she bring? Did she bring candy? Chocolate? I’ll take anything!”
Chaewon headed upstairs to retrieve the snacks from her room. When she returned, she laid out all the snacks on the dining table. Eunchae’s eyes shimmered.
“These”—Chaewon said, pointing to a yellow bag—“are potato chips. I saved them for you. She brought other things too, in case you wanted anything else.”
“Really?! She thought of me?!”
“I mean—“
“Must suck to have a friend who likes your sister better than you.”
“Eunchae! God, you’re annoying…”
After their bickering had stopped, Chaewon continued to explain each snack to her. When she was done, Eunchae grabbed the potato chips immediately and popped them open. She grabbed a chip from the bag and took a bite.
“Good?”
Eunchae nodded vigorously and Chaewon laughed.
“When is she coming over again?”
Chaewon scoffed. “Why? ‘Cause you want more snacks?”
“Yes! I mean, no! I wanna thank her. These chips are so good…” Eunchae muttered.
“I’ll ask her later.” Eunchae nodded as she ate another chip. Chaewon eyed the pack of mini burger gummies that were on the dining table and spoke up again. “If you don’t hurry up and eat those burger gummies, I’ll eat them for you.”
“No!”
The next morning, Chaewon had woken up in a suspiciously good mood. She hummed as she made breakfast for Eunchae and her mom. Eunchae had first caught sight of this suspicious activity when she walked down the stairs, hearing pots and plates clanging as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
She remembers how Chaewon turned her head when she heard Eunchae’s footsteps on the stairs and how Chaewon greeted her “Good morning!” which was very , very unusual.
“Why are you in such a good mood today? And please don’t burn the eggs.”
“Hey! Don’t be so quick to judge! Why would I burn the eggs? God, I hate 10 year-olds…” Okay, maybe her sister wasn’t in that good of a mood.
Eunchae took a seat at the dining table. “You didn't answer my question. And you’re, like, 3 years older than me.”
“Shh, shut up. Guess what?”
“What?”
“You’re supposed to guess what I’m talking about, stupid. What? ” She said the last What? in a high-pitched voice as if to mimic Eunchae.
(Eunchae found this very rude. She considered telling on Chaewon to her mom, but decided to be a little bit generous today.)
“I take everything I said back. You’re worse today. You’re in a bad mood, not a good one. Hopefully I don’t piss you off today…” Eunchae muttered the last sentence to herself and frowned as Chaewon flipped the eggs on the pan over.
She hummed while continuing to make the eggs as Eunchae waited for a response. After a few minutes of crackling and plates and utensils clinking together, Chaewon finally gave a response. “Yunjin’s transferring to my school.”
What? “What?”
Chaewon grinned as she set their breakfast onto the table. “Yeah. Next year. She told me her parents liked that she finally made a friend and that it was time for her to make a few more. Don’t you know what this means, Eunchae? Yunjin’s—”
“You’re joking. Now you’re never gonna shut up about her.”
“What? Anyway, I was gonna say it means that you’ll see her more often, before you so rudely cut me off.” The eldest rolled her eyes. “Also, I thought you liked it when I mentioned Yunjin?”
“I mean… sometimes…? It’s getting annoying now. Like you’re always ‘Yunjin this!’ or ‘Yunjin that!” It’s almost like you’re dating her or something.”
“What are you… What? Nevermind.” Chaewon gave her little sister a weird look and shook her head. “10 year-olds these days…”
“You’re literally 13! You cannot be talking. You can’t even drive yet.”
“Yeah, whatever you say…”
(That exact sentence meant that her sister was in a good mood today. Normally, Eunchae would be running up to her mom’s room, screaming for help. “Moooommmm!! Help! Chaewon’s gonna kill me!!!” )
When Eunchae was 11, she overheard Chaewon and her new friend (to Eunchae’s surprise), Kim Minji, talking in Chaewon’s room.
(Minji was also very pretty. Eunchae wondered how Chaewon was becoming friends with all these pretty girls. Was Chaewon also pretty? Eunchae would’ve said yes any other day, but Chaewon stole her gummies this morning before school, claiming them to be hers even though Eunchae had clearly walked home with them in hand a few days ago!)
Eunchae didn’t want to get caught eavesdropping by her older sister (God knows what’ll happen), so she sat in her room, next to the slightly-opened door, hoping to hear the conversation next door.
“…know…likes her too?”
Eunchae cursed her ears and scooted over closer to the door, leaning her head over to the opening. Why was Minji’s voice so quiet?
“Isn’t that, like, the fourth guy? They’re all average looking too… None of them would look good with her. Do they really think they stand a chance?”
Eunchae could tell her sister was pissed. Her voice was loud, it was as if she didn’t know (or care) that her sister was literally in the room next to hers. Eunchae leaned closer, hoping to hear Minji’s response.
“The first guy was kinda nice though. The flowers and the notes were cute…”
“Yeah, okay. Go date him instead if he was so nice.”
“Why are you so pissed? What did these guys even do to you?”
“I don’t know, maybe, just maybe , Yunjin deserves better? I don’t know if that’s ever crossed your mind, Minji.”
“You’re making it sound like you wanna date her instead…”
( Yes, Minji! Tell her! Tell her! Eunchae wanted to say. If her sister thought these guys were that bad for Yunjin, why doesn’t she just go date her instead? And this angle works wonders for eavesdropping , she thought, too. Maybe she’d write about it later, if she ever wanted to eavesdrop on her sister’s conversations again.)
“I don’t. You’re, like, the second person who’s told me that.”
“The first is?”
“Eunchae.”
“Eunchae’s right.”
“Fuck off, Minji.”
(Eunchae was definitely gonna tell on Chaewon for that. After she ate the new snacks Yunjin had brought over a few days prior. “ Eunchae!! I brought you snacks! Y’know those potato chips you like?” )
After Minji had left, the potato chips from Yunjin she had eaten gave Eunchae enough courage to voice her own thoughts about the situation surrounding Chaewon and this weird need to protect Yunjin from all these guys.
Eunchae sat at the dining table and waited for Chaewon to head downstairs. Once she saw a familiar face at the pantry grabbing a snack, she shot her shot.
“Minji was right,” Eunchae said, grabbing a chip from the bag in front of her.
“Huh? Right about what?”
“You wanting to date Yunjin.”
Chaewon groaned. “Eunchae, I’m too tired for this. Let it go. I do not want to date Yunjin.”
“Uh-huh… What happened to always being all over her whenever she’s here? And why are you criticizing all these guys that like her so much? Would you treat her better? What’d the guys even do that was so bad anyway? Besides—“
“Shut up! The letter literally said ‘Hey. I like you. Wanna date?’ Is that not a bad confession?” Chaewon reasoned.
(Darn. Chaewon was right about this one.)
“Oh. Yeah, I mean that is kinda bad. Anyway—“
“Anyway? You have more to say?”
“…Mom would be okay with you being gay, y’know.”
(Eunchae fears she hit the spot with that one. She also fears the nails on her coffin will be hit, too.)
“Eunchae! God, for an 11 year-old you really are something!” Surprisingly, her sister stomped over to the stairs and headed up.
“I’m surprised you didn’t try to kill me today!” Eunchae yells to her.
“Oh, fuck off!”
(That was the last straw. Eunchae was definitely gonna tell on her.)
“If you were to date Yunjin, I’d be okay with it. She’s, like, the sweetest person ever. And she’s really pretty. Doesn’t she know how to play the guitar too? She could write you songs… Isn’t that romantic?”
“Holy shit… Do you wanna date her or something? Actually, you just want her snacks.”
“Yeah… Please date her.”
“No.”
When Eunchae was 12, she got Minji’s phone number. Not in a weird way, of course, but rather to discuss Chaewon and her problem(s).
(Chaewon’s problems quite literally all involved Yunjin, which made Eunchae laugh when she thought about it. How could Chaewon be so blind?)
minji
is this eunchae?
eunchae
yeah
can we talk abt chaewon
minji
yea
does chaewon act weird around yunjin or what
bc shes always extra giggly around her at school
dont tell me that doesnt mean anything
omg i cant believe im discussing this with a twelve uear old
eunchae
LITERALLY
WHENEVER YUNJINS AT MY HOUSE SHES ALWAYS SO NICE
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
minji
NO LITERALLY
AND WHATS GOING ON WITH THE GUYS??
THEY WERENT EVEN THAT BAD BTW
IT WAS ONE NOTE
eunchae
yeah minji im gonna have to side with chaewon on this one
that note WAS pretty bad…
minji
I MEAN…
it was okay
eunchae
WDYM OKAY
HE SAID I LIKE UOU CAN WE DATE AND VALLED IT A DAY
THATS NOT OKAY
wait minji
minji
LMFAOOO
what
eunchae
is my sister gay
i think shes gay
ive been trying ti tell her that mom literally wouldnt care but i dont think she believes me
minji
💀💀
ask her urself
(And so she did. She will . If she just put her phone down and gathered up the courage to knock on her sister’s door.)
Eunchae thought that this was a very, very bad idea. Despite herself, she creeped towards Chaewon’s room. No light was peeking out from under the crack of her door, so Eunchae assumed she was asleep.
She felt kinda bad. She knocked on the door anyway.
“What? It’s open, come in.”
“It’s Eunchae.”
“Oh. Don’t come in.”
Too late, Eunchae thought as she opened the door to Chaewon’s room and found her older sister scrolling through her phone in the dark, her phone screen illuminating her face.
“Why is it so dark in here? Are you, like, a vampire or something?” Eunchae looked around and stifled a giggle.
“It’s like 10 PM. Of course it’s gonna be dark, dumbass.”
“Don’t make me call mom. She’s still awake.”
“Don’t lie. No she isn’t. You wouldn’t tell on me anyway. You know I'm your only connection to Yunjin.”
Eunchae has had enough of the Yunjin talk today, so she decides to try to put an end to it. Keyword: try.
“Yeah, okay.” Eunchae paused. “Can I ask you something?”
“Like what? You have five minutes.”
“No, this is serious. I’m being serious right now. Serious as in “ don’t give me a timer” serious.”
That made Chaewon get up from her position and reach for the lamp on her nightstand beside her bed. “What is it, Eunchae?”
Eunchae breathed in very deep and held her breath. Chaewon watched her intently before the younger of the two asked, “Are you gay?”
Now this, this made Chaewon freeze up. “…Why’re you asking?”
Eunchae saw the way her sister genuinely shrunk and became quieter and her heart broke. Just a little bit. She still doesn’t forgive her for taking her gummies constantly, though.
“I just wanted to know. It’s okay if you are, y’know. I wouldn’t see you any differently. You’re still my sister,” she reassured her. Eunchae saw Chaewon’s eyes tear up and this time, her heart actually ached for her sister. She looked at Chaewon and frowned before walking over and sitting beside her on her bed. She gave her a small hug before nudging her to let her know she can talk, without any judgement.
“I— I don’t… I don’t even know anymore. It’s all just so, so confusing and—“
Eunchae had never seen her sister cry before. Not even during their dad’s funeral. It was a rare occasion. Due to this, Eunchae had absolutely no idea how to comfort her. This only made the situation worse.
She decided to give her another hug and let Chaewon’s tears run freely onto her favourite shirt, her head on Eunchae’s shoulder.
( She’s lucky I feel bad right now, Eunchae thought. Because if she hadn’t she would’ve never let Chaewon touch her shirt, let alone cry into it.)
Once Chaewon calmed down a bit, she spoke up with her head down, not making eye contact with the younger of the two. “Um, I think like both.”
“Both?”
“Guys and girls.” She sniffled.
“Oh.” Eunchae paused to think. “Is it Yunjin?”
Chaewon finally looked up to make eye contact with her sister and let out a sound in between a sigh and a groan. “What? I swear Eunchae, I literally just cried into your shoulder and came out to you and the first thing you ask me is if it’s Yunjin.”
Eunchae giggles, trying to lighten the mood. “Is it though?”
“No. You and Minji are the same person, I swear.”
“Then how’d you know?”
“Stop asking questions!” Chaewon slapped Eunchae’s shoulder.
After Eunchae stopped asking Chaewon questions and had returned to her room, she texted Minji.
eunchae
ummmm soooo
it went kinda
minji
kinda what
you took a long time so im gonna assume it went well??
eunchae
i mean yeah????
she cried
minji
aww
i asked her when she was gonna come out to you and how she was gonna do it and i was like
“do u think ur gonna cry”
and she was like
“no probably not its eunchae”
eunchae
HAHAHSH
i felt kinda bad but then i remembered how she stole my gummies
minji
LMFAOOO
so whatd she say?
howd it go 😭
eunchae
no joke i was so nervous
idk why i was nervous
anyways
i was like
can i talk to u abt smt
and she was like
yeah sure what is it
and i took a deep breath and i was like
are u gay
and she froze up and asked me why i was asking
and i told her that i just wanted to know and that if she was i wouldnt view her any differently
i think that was the part that made her cry
minji
awwww
dont ever let her tell u she hates u
bc she’d do anything for u
she loves u very much
eunchae
😭😭
(Eunchae found that kinda hard to believe, but she went with it.)
eunchae
then she cried into the shoulder of my shirt
then she stopped after a few minutes and was like
i think i like both
and i was confused so i was like
both?
and she said
girls and guys
and i was like
oh
is it yunjin
💀💀
minji
LMFAOAOAO
i wouldve said the same thing tbh
no but seriously whats going on with her and yunjin its concerning atp
eunchae
HAHAHHA IKR
(Eunchae likes to think that their relationship got better after that. Chaewon never stole her gummies again, after all.)
When Eunchae was 13, Yunjin came over during the summer before Chaewon’s first year of high school. But the aura Eunchae remembers getting from Chaewon was not good. When Yunjin arrived, the usual came through, the hugs, the “I got you snacks!” , the intense glares Chaewon gave Yunjin…
(Wait… The intense glares Chaewon gave Yunjin?)
It was safe to say that Chaewon was acting really weird around Yunjin. When has she not, though? But today was extra weird. When Chaewon grabbed Yunjin’s elbow and practically dragged her upstairs was when Eunchae knew shit was about to go down.
(Can she swear? She doesn’t know yet. But if Chaewon can, why can’t she?)
Eunchae silently followed them upstairs when she heard the door to Chaewon’s room close. She creeped into her room and got into position.
(Position… AKA the ‘perfect eavesdropping position’ or PEP for short. The PEP™ was when Eunchae left her door slightly open, leaned against the nearest wall, and craned her head the closest it could go to the opening of the door without being seen. To her, this was the perfect plan. The PEP™. Terms and conditions apply. Not sold in stores .)
With her head in position, the plan began.
“What’s…On…?”
“You don’t have to whisper, Yunjin. She’s downstairs.”
(Now that made Eunchae feel kinda bad. Chaewon trusted Eunchae enough to think she wouldn’t dare eavesdrop on her. But it’s okay.)
“What’s wrong, Chaewon? You’ve practically been shooting daggers out of your eyes since I stepped foot into your house…” Yunjin laughed.
“Don’t try to make this funny.”
Yunjin laughed. Again. Bad move. “Now you’re really scaring me.”
(In Yunjin’s defense, Chaewon did sound kinda scary.)
“Sorry… I just—“
“You can tell me anything.” Yunjin paused. “Minji told me about, um, this. She thinks something went on between us and… To be honest, I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. You’ve been acting so cold recently and you’ve been ignoring my texts. I asked you if you wanted to hang out last week and you only replied today. Did I do something wrong? If I made you feel a certain way I—“
“Yunjin, you just…” She heard her sister sigh. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”
“Chae…”
( Nicknames???? Eunchae wanted to text Minji—AKA gossip twin on her messages—about this right now, but she couldn’t miss this part of the conversation.)
She heard her sister sniffle. Silence came after that, but Eunchae thinks they hugged. Yunjin spoke up first.
“Don’t apologize for what you’re feeling. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Chaewon’s response was a bit muffled. Maybe by Yunjin’s shirt. “I just feel like we haven’t been spending any time together lately. I just… I feel like you’re always with someone else apart from me… and I just— I feel like we’re drifting apart.”
(Wow, her sister was clingy. And blind. How could she not see what was laid out right in front of her? They practically fought like a couple too.)
“Hey… Don’t cry. I’m sorry, Chaewon. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”
“It’s not your fault, Yunjin. I’ve just been…” Her sister sighed again. “I don’t know. I don’t wanna make you feel suffocated. Fuck.”
“No, Chaewon, you're not. Why would you? Just… If you ever feel like this again, just call me. Or text me. Whatever works for you. I don’t want that to happen to us ever again.”
Eunchae shut her door. She really felt like she was intruding in on a private conversation. She was pretty sure they’d kiss in a few minutes. And she sure didn’t wanna hear that.
She took out her phone and typed a text to Minji out.
eunchae
holy shit i just heard the juiciest convo in my life
gossip twin
hey dont swear
im telling your sister
anyways
tell me abt it ☺️
Yunjin left their house pretty late, which was very suspicious. But Eunchae didn’t question it. Whatever her sister did in her room was her sister’s business.
(Even if there was some weird activity going on in there, Eunchae wouldn’t dare tell their mom.)
Eunchae sits at the dining table when Chaewon heads back downstairs after she had a friend over, which was a very familiar environment. This usually indicated an interesting conversation coming up.
The sisters made eye contact as Chaewon walked over to the pantry. Eunchae spoke first.
“So…”
“So…?” Chaewon rummaged through the snack drawer.
“Did you guys kiss?”
Chaewon stopped rummaging and her ears turned red. “No!? God, what is wrong with you.”
“Seriously, I didn’t know you were that clingy. ‘ Oh, Yunjin… You never hang out with me, your girlfriend… You always hang out with Minji or something… What about me…? I thought you loved me..?’ ” Eunchae said the last few parts in a high-pitched, damsel in distress type of tone.
Chaewon turned even redder. “Eunchae, I swear! You get worse as you get older!”