…and Sector E is in lockdown, because, apparently, Doctor Time Space and the Continuums is getting a reboot.
How do they even come up with these things?!
In the background, Numbuh Infinity was droning on about something, something, blah, blah.
“Numbuh 274!”
“Huh? What?”
Infinity adjusts his sunglasses, “ Did you hear a single word of what I just said?”
Chad looks him in the eye, at least where he assumes Infinity has eyes. Can’t be too careful with the guy, “Of course I did. You said something about some lousy spy we’ve got.”
Infinity groaned, “Not lousy, 274! Good! Too good! Too smart! Noticing troubling things kind of good! Asking inconvenient questions kind of smart!”
Numbuh 274 looks at him and then looks at the towers of paperwork that are on his desk. “Can’t you handle it?“
“I cannot do anything that might compromise my position!” says Infinity and slams a beige folder on the desk. One of the towers topples over. When Chad glares at him, he has the decency to look embarrassed.
Chad sighs and says, “Alright, I’ll have a look, but unless I determine for myself that it’s as much of a problem as you claim it is, I’m not gonna do anything about it. Fair?”
Numbuh Infinity gives him a long look, “Fair enough.”
“Great!” Chad grins, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.”
Infinity’s “problem“ turned out to be someone called Numbuh 362.
Rachel T. McKenzie, Intelligence division. She graduated the Arctic base training programme a year after him. She seems familiar and he thinks he worked with her at least once, but he can’t really remember.
Before he can go past the first page, a siren starts blaring.
He turned on his com, “Main deck! Status report! What’s going on?” ‘Please be something that gets me out of here. Please be something that gets me out of here. Please be someth—’
“Sir! Yessir! The monthly candy shipment is under attack from Stickybeard!“ came the answer.
Chad wanted to cry out of happiness, “Prep my ship and tell them I’m on my way!”
“Sir, we can ha—”
“Now! Main deck!” Goodbye paperwork, hello action!
“Yessir!” He shoved 362′s file in a drawer, between some reports that he’s putting off looking at.
It’s a full week until he picked it back up. He hadn't even meant to, but Numbuh 65.3 had been nagging him over those reports and her folder had been in the pile with them. And really, when faced with the choice of going over reports or anything else, it’s pretty much a no-brainer.
When he got to a photo from training, Chad finally realized why he had trouble remembering her. The last time they actually worked together, face to face, was on Numbuh 9′s big chicken pox mission. Between then and now, she had broken her nose. After that he had seen her around, but never made the connection.
Under "training" was included a little note saying that her record for the stealth course was still standing. He frowned at that. He never really cared for stealth, it just wasn’t his style, but he had set the previous one. It bothered him that it only stayed for a year. Only a little, though. Capable operatives were a good thing for the K.N.D.
After the training summary was medical history—nothing about the nose, that surprised him. And then there was a brief overview of her life outside of the K.N.D.
It was a very brief overview, pretty much the only information there was her grades, that she liked Rainbow Monkeys and Doctor Time Space—he wondered if maybe she could find common language with Sector E, since he has had less-than-stellar luck on the subject, and they were still in lockdown—and that she had a younger brother with K.N.D. aspirations. No mention of any extracurricular activities or school clubs.
He thought of football practice, and violin lessons, and the buhjillion other things his parents make him do and he envied her.
The rest was bound together, starting with a table of contents which listed all of her missions and if she got any accolades for them, followed by printouts of mission reports from the girl herself. They were written in a neat, concise tone. Boy, he’d kill to have more operatives send in reports like this.
All in all, he really couldn’t see why Numbuh Infinity was making such a fuss. Everything on her record indicated a thorough, perceptive, observant child. She even had good ice-cream sharing stats.
Numbuh 274 put the folder down and stared into empty air.
The Galactic Kids Next Door were a ginormous interstellar organization. But they were still an organization consisting solely of kids. Kids had short attention spans. Kids couldn’t sit still very well. Kids told extravagant lies and tall tales and thought they’re believable. Kids, if not held down by the threat of broccoli, tended to stop working and call it good enough.
No wonder Infinity was making a fuss! A thorough, perceptive, observant kid, who was also a super stealthy spy? And seemed to have a healthy dose of common sense? Zero’s boogers! This girl was dangerous!
It takes a bit of cajoling, but he makes sure that all of her reports go to him first.
And when she sends in a note to Moonbase that the Decommissioning squad should be notified of her undercover operation as Numbuh 206, he makes sure that it never arrives.
After that, it’s really not hard to get her to accept a position in Global Command. Someone needs to make sure such oversights don’t happen again.
The fact that it makes Numbuh Infinity fume (“Why did you bring her closer to us, you idiot!“), that’s just a bonus.
G.K.N.D. or not, nobody tells him how to run his organization.
Numbuh 362 took to Global Command like a fish to water. It wasn’t actually a surprise. Chad was right, she does, in fact, have common sense. In a place like the K.N.D., common sense is such a rare thing, it’s pretty much a fast-pass to even more responsibilities.
He was even sort of prepared for Numbuh 86 to literally float from pride and happiness. The girl admired 362 a nearly unhealthy amount.
What he wasn’t prepared for, he didn’t even notice, until one day Numbuh 65.3 came in with a new stack of paperwork, looked at the already-there-paperwork, then at the expression on 274′s face, and said, “Um, if it’s too much, I can just give them to Numbuh 362?”
Chad blinked, “What?”
Herbert shrugged, “Well, she is second in command, right?”
Chad looked at him, then looked at the papers in 65.3′s hands and simply nodded.
Sometime later Rachel came in, also with a stack of papers, but a considerably smaller one, and found Chad staring into empty air.
“Is everything alright, Sir?“ she asked.
Numbuh 274 blinked then focused his gaze on her, “Herbert says you’re second in command.“
362 raised an eyebrow and put her finger on a dotted line on one of the papers, “Yes? You were the one that named me, Sir.“
“When did I do that?“ he signed next to her finger.
She shrugged, pointed to another dotted line, “A few days ago? I can pull up the paperwork if you wa—“
Chad dropped his pen, “NO! Nononono! No extra paperwork! I believe you!“
Rachel raised her eyebrow again, but her lips were twitching, “If you say so, Sir.“
They are sitting at the bar counter.
A multi sector mission has worked out great, way better than anyone hoped, and since Moonbase coordinated it, he felt that it would be OK to take a sort-of break, a sort-of victory party. Everyone worked so hard, he’s proud of his kids.
If he’s on his eighth or tenth or, ok, twelfth soda, it’s allowed, right?
Anyhow, they’re sitting at the bar counter. He doesn’t really remember how they got there, but he has the feeling that something hilarious happened just a second ago. He does remember leaning on Numbuh 362 and telling her that he needs to sit down. The bar was the closest, but he’s not really sure how good of an idea the tall chairs were.
Chad puts his face down on the counter-top. It’s sticky. It’s also cool, so he can’t bring himself to mind. He’s trying to figure out how to drink more of his soda without moving his face.
“Maybe you should lay it off a bit?” Chad turns his head to the right and looks at Rachel.
She isn’t looking at him, but straight ahead, giving him a good view of her profile.
“Hey, Rachel.” She blinks. He’s never used her first name before.
“Yessir?” she says.
Numbuh 274 makes a face,“Nooooo, Racheeeel,“ turns so that his forehead is on the counter again. “You can’t call me siiir right noooow,“ his head feels fuzzy. “I look pathetic!“ Chad whines, “You can’t call someone this pathetic ‘siiir’.“
He looks at her again, waits for her to answer. “Weeeell,“ she says, “you only look a little pathetic, Numbuh 274.“ He grins at that and it’s so goofy she can’t help but smile back.
“Heeey, Racheeel,“ he tries again.
“Yes… Numbuh 274?“ Chad thrusts his finger up and pokes her in the cheek.
“What happened to your nose?“
Under his finger, Chad feels her cheek twitch, and then sees her mouth turn downward.
“Numbuh 362?” he blinks, “What’s wrong?”
Rachel looks away from him, turns her whole body to the right, “I… I don’t like talking about it.“
Chad blinks again, ”Why? Was it during a mission? I mean, it wasn’t on your file so I assumed it happened outside of the Ki—“
Suddenly, she turns to face him fully and looks him straight in the eye.
“If I tell you,” she said, “then you have to tell me something, too.”
Chad gets his head off of the counter and leans towards her, ”Anything.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“I,“ she starts, stops, closes her mouth, then looks around, as if to make sure no one else is listening. He notices that her ears have gone red. All of that makes him want to know more than ever.
Finally, she takes a deep breath and says, “I tripped.“
Chad gapes at her, “You tripped?“
Rachel puts her hands over her face and nods.
“That’s it?!“
Now she’s glaring at him, “What do you mean ‘that’s it’?!“
“Well, I mean, the way you acted, I thought it would be something, you know,“ he rubs the back of his neck, “…embarrassing?“
“It is embarrassing!” her voice raises in pitch, but not in volume. “I’m supposed to be the K.N.D.’s best spy! What kind of spy trips over their own feet and breaks their nose!“
She looks like a blonde tomato, so Chad starts laughing. “Stop laughing! It’s not funny!“
“It is!“
“Is not!“
“Is too.”
She grabs him by the collar and pulls him so that they’re nose to nose, “Is. Not.“
Even on the biggest sugar rush he’s ever been on, Chad knows better than to push her past a certain point. “OK, OK, I won’t laugh any more.” She lets him go, but his face twitches for another few minutes.
Once he’s fully regained control of himself, at least as fully as he can in his current state, he asks, ”Well?“
“'Well' what?“
“Well, you said that you were going to ask me something in return.”
“Oh.” Rachel straightens up in her seat, “You can’t lie.“
“I promised, so I won’t.”
“Alright.“ She turns towards him again and, ”Why did you actually transfer me to Moonbase?“
His soda-addled brain screeches to a halt, “What?“
“Why did you actually transfer me out of the Intelligence department, out of the field, and to Moonbase?”
Chad blinks at her owlishly a few times, “Why?”
She looks taken aback by the question, “Er… because… I mean, because…“
She can’t seem to find the words so he cuts her off, “Because what? Do you want to go back? ‘cause I can send you back, if that’s it.”
Chad regrets saying that the moment it’s out of his mouth. It was a dangerous thing to say, what if she actually does want to go back into spying, what if she really leaves, he’s actually gotten used to not having to do everything himself, to having someone to rely on to make sure that the K.N.D. does not, in fact, self-destruct should he take a nap break or drink too much soda, and he should not have said that!
But Rachel goes red again and looks down at her drink, “I… I think I’m doing good work here.”
“You are,” he tries to pass the relieved exhale off as a snort, “So don’t worry about it.”
And he should’ve dropped it there, it would’ve all been a-OK if only he had changed the subject. Instead, he looks her in the eye and says, “Besides, you know why you were transferred! We needed someone from Intelligence to make sure that a mess like your inf-’
‘Bang!‘ goes the counter once she slams her palm against it.
“You said you weren’t gonna lie!“
Chad frowns, he wasn’t expecting that. “Excuse me?” he says.
Rachel takes a deep breath, “You make unblinking eye contact with whoever it is you are talking to, when you lie.”
And he just stares at her with his mouth open for a while, because what do you say to that?
“What?” Oh, yeah, right, that’s an option. A real intelligent and smooth one Chad, a real intelligent and smooth one.
Still, she looks down again, and her face goes even more red, and the next thing she says is a lot quieter, “Er, I mean, everyone has tells, you know? And, uh,” and now she’s a tomato again, “I, uh, know you well enough, and I’ve been paying attention, you are my boss, after all, and I mean, I am a spy, so, really I couldn’t help it, it comes naturally and—”
But Chad doesn’t get to hear what else, because at that point she needs to grab him to stop him from falling out of his chair from laughter. Zero’s snotty sleeves, she figured out his tells? His own parents don’t know, Numbuh Infinity doesn’t know when he’s lying! And all of them have known him for a lot longer then her.
Numbuh 362’s actually terrifying, isn’t she? And she doesn’t even know it. He laughs harder at the irony.
When he calms down enough to sit up straight again, Rachel’s giving him a worried look. But he feels great. Better than he has felt in a while, even.
“OK, you want the real reason?” Chad says and leans towards her a bit.
“Yes!” she leans in as well.
“You sure?”
“Yes!“ she’s nodding her head now.
”Really sure?”
Nodding faster, leaning closer, “Yes! Yes!“
“First, you have to promise not to get angry.”
She backs away a little, confused, “What?”
He leans back too, “I’m not telling, unless you promise not to get angry.”
“What? Why? That sounds so ominous!”
“Is that a no?” he raises his eyebrow for effect.
“No! No, I mean,” her face turns blank, but there’s laughter in her eyes, “OK, I promise I’m not gonna get angry, just tell me!”
He pats her head, and tells a truth, “Because, McKenzie, I don’t like the words “The Best” thrown around about other kids.”
Chad would never betray the G.K.N.D., it’s not in his nature. When he commits to something, he commits all the way. “Call it a character flaw,” he shrugs.
While he sees her face go white with shock, then red, then purple, he passes out before she manages to say anything.
When he wakes up in the Moonbase hospital, he doesn’t remember much of the party, but he makes sure to thank Numbuh 362 for dragging his sugar overdosed butt to get help that wouldn’t mock him too much.
If after the initial rage, Rachel carries his confession in her heart like a cup of hot coco during arctic training, no one needs to know. After all, it’s not everyday that Numbuh 274 says he’s jealous of you. Besides, when she said that she thinks she’s doing something meaningful on Moonbase, she meant it.
Still, while she files that revelation of his character away for further contemplation, she decides to ask him about it again at some point, preferably when he’s on another sugar-high. Lying by omission is still lying and she knows him more than enough to tell.
“Aw, come on, Numbuh 362! You could definitely use some actual, fresh, Earth air!”
“Numbuh 60, I would hardly call the Arctic base’s ventilation fresh air.”
“Weeeell”, Patton looks kinda sheepish on the grainy live-feed, “maybe not, but it’s still Earth air!” he reaches for the screen as if he was trying to grab her and shake her through the monitors. “Come on, Rachel! You hardly ever come down to Earth anymore!”
“Well, that’s becau—”
“And these new cadets, they think that if they can’t see you, then you can’t see them, and call that espionage!” Rachel had forgotten exactly how whiny Patton can be when he wants to.
“Patton I’m suuuuper busy and I’m sure you can handle them you—”
“But we hardly ever hang out anymore!” he’s giving her his best ‘pity-poor-little-me’ look. He knows she’s a sucker for that look.
Rachel can’t do much more than sigh and say, “Okay, I’ll as—”
“Wooo!” Numbuh 60 nearly knocks the camera over when he raises his arms in triumph.
“…as I was saying, I’ll talk to Numbuh 274 and see if it would be OK to take a few days to—”
“Huh? Talk to 274?” Numbuh 60 frowns, “I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. He’s the one who told me to ask you.”
“He told me to ask you! I should have noticed that something stinks, as if you go around telling people to distract your second in command with stupid crud!” Rachel put her hand on Patton’s shoulder.
She had to be strong, her kids needed her strong, now more than ever.
“Hey, hey, Numbuh 60, don’t be silly,” her voice was soft, “you couldn’t have known. Besides, there’s nothing stupid about trying to give the new cadets the best possible training! That’s why you’re there, on Arctic base. Those kids should always be your top priority! It’s not your fault that some jerk abused your sense of duty.”
Numbuh 60 looked at her with bleary eyes, then smacked his head back against the counter and mumbled something.
“Huh?”
“I said”, he raised his head a bit and looked at all the fancy, colorful soda bottles on the other side of the bar, “I said, that he wasn’t just some jerk. I admired him! I cared what he thinks!” Patton’s voice broke a bit, “I was really happy when he took an interest in the cadets!” he seemed to shrink in on himself, ”I was really happy…”
Rachel didn’t really have anything to say to that, so she just rubbed his back, and hoped he wouldn’t look at her until her eyes dried.
It wasn’t actually all that hard to get every single second of footage of Chad two months leading up to the Moonbase incident. It was even less hard to convince everyone involved that she did not, in fact, do that. Rachel supposes it’s the perks of knowing nearly everyone in Intelligence, and everyone in Intelligence being used to calling her “Sir“.
Because it didn’t add up. Because when she went home, between the Arctic and Moonbase, just to get a change of clothes, on her desk, looking all innocent, like it didn’t cause the world to fall apart, was an invitation to Chad’s 13th birthday party.
Rachel knew that she should set it on fire, or use it as target practice, or even simply throw it away.
Instead, she looked at the clock, got up, closed the door to her room and turned on the CD player. If she’s quick about it, she has just enough time for a good cry. There will be time on the trip to the Moon for her to make herself presentable. So, already sniffling, she opened the envelope, gently, carefully took out the yellow paper and— stared.
The biggest reason the K.N.D. has trouble training spies, aside from children’s natural inability to be still or quiet, much less both at the same time, is that it’s very hard for most kids to grasp the concept of paying attention to something.
Rachel excelled at it. It was the reason the Kids Next Door recruited her. Looking at something and picking out the important bits to file away for later came naturally to her. As if her mind had these neatly labelled drawers, and an even neater system for calling back the right information at the right moment.
Right now, that information was: This is Numbuh 274′s handwriting.
So she doesn’t have her cry. What she does have is a few very important calls to make, and some very, very uncomfortable theories.
“I mean, sure you can but why?” says Numbuh 86.
“I gave him something, I just want it back, that’s all.” It makes her uncomfortable to lie to Fanny, but she doesn’t want to upset anyone until she’s sure that she’s not on a wild goose chase.
“Ooh-kay Numbuh 362,” she gives her a once-over, “I have to go now, but call me if ya need any help. Or just ask 99, he’ll be right outside the door.”
“Thank you, Fanny“
Fanny gives an odd quirk of her lips, “You know I’ll always have your back.“
She pats Rachel’s shoulder and leaves her in a room full of carelessly packed boxes.
Rachel gets to work. She needs a sample of his handwriting, and once she compares it, she needs to figure out how to get samples of his parents’. After all, it’s entirely possible that they have really similar ones, and that wouldn’t prove anything really. But if they have really different…
If along the way she puts aside a thing or two that really only one person cares about, well, no one needs to know.
Getting a sample from his dad was simple: he works in an office. Sneak in. Wait until he leaves desk. Take a few pictures. Sneak out.
It’s not a match.
His mom, on the other hand, is a housewife, and for a while Rachel has no idea what to do. Then her eyes fall on the yellow invitation. It’s gotten a bit crumpled from how much she’s been messing with it, but it’s still perfectly readable. Even if it weren’t, she knows it by heart. The party was supposed to be tomorrow.
It’s the best chance she’s gonna get, so she calls Hendry Middle School to check when the football team has practice, “‘cause, like, I totally promised my boyfriend that I’m gonna go watch, and he, like, told me five times when it is, but I’m totally such an airhead, I keep forgetting and I can’t ask him, ‘cause, the fact that I still don’t remember would totally, like, hurt his feelings! So you gotta tell me, like, my love life depends on it!”
Apparently, when she’s not being a villain, Mrs. Dickson is actually tolerable company. She’s floored when, an hour before football practice is over, Rachel shows up at her doorstep, and even more so when Rachel shows her the invitation.
“I had no idea!” She cried, “I mean I know he’s at that age, but he can’t just say that he doesn’t want a party, and then go and invite people behind our backs!“
Rachel tries her hardest to pay attention to what Mrs. Dickson says after that, but she can’t, she really can’t, not after that bomb.
She can smile and nod, though, and when Mrs. Dickson plops her down on the sofa, and gives her a photo album (”Chad-dear’s first day as a boy scout!”) she can let out the appropriate sounds.
Each photo has a handwritten caption, and the writing looks nothing like the one on the invitation.
By the time Chad walks into the room, she has narrowed down the number of possible explanations, and, really, there’s only one thing she actually needs to ask him.
She’s in his house. Rachel T. McKenzie in his house, sitting in his living room and his mother is showing her a photo album. Chad has never wanted the earth to swallow him up whole more in his life.
“Oh! Hello, Chad-dear, I didn’t hear you come in!” his mother says, “I was just telling Rachel about your violin concert! You never mentioned that you have such charming ‘friends’.” If Rachel notices the extremely, awfully theatrical wink his mother gives him she didn’t show it. She just smiles at his mother and says, “Aw, shucks, Mrs. Dickson, that’s a bit much!”
While his jaw is still on the floor, his mother has already said something along the lines of “No, no, I mean it!” and then, “But, oh! As much as I’d like to stay and chat, I really do have to run to the store. Chad, there’s sandwiches on the kitchen counter if you get hungry, and juice in the fridge, I’ll be back in an hour or two, and Chad-dear?” here she grabs him by the chin and turns his head to face her. “We’ll talk about you making parties behind our backs when your father comes home.”
Chad doesn’t have time to be shocked. Well, more shocked, because the second his mother turns her back, Rachel has a M.U.S.K.E.T. pointed at his head.
She brings her finger to her lips: ’shhh’.
He can hear his mother humming in the hallway, probably looking for her car keys, can hear her go “Aha!” and open the door, can hear her when she says, ”Bye, kids! Have fuuun!”
“Thank you, Mrs. Dickson! We will!” answers Rachel brightly, then doesn’t move a muscle until they hear the car starting up.
“You can’t be here!” Chad explodes, frantically trying to divert the conversation from the track he thinks it’s gonna go down before it even starts. “Under Kid-Teen trea—”
“Kid-Teen treaty of ‘94, section 2.1.1,″ she cuts him off, “all households are neutral territory and any breach of neutrality will be severely sanctioned. I am aware. But, since this is also technically an adult villain lair, it’s actually fair game. Now sit down. And hands where I can see them.” She still has the gun on him, doesn’t point at the furniture, doesn’t look at anything other than him.
He sits in the nearest armchair and wonders how he’s going to get out of this one.
“Are you a traitor to the Kids Next Door?”
Chad feels grateful that he’s sitting, “What?”
“Are. You. A. Traitor. To. The. Kids. Next. Door.” Rachel repeats, enunciating every word like a punch.
“I tried to send the Moonbase into the Sun!”
“It’s a yes or no question, Numbuh 274.”
“Well isn’t it kinda obvi—” aaaaand there’s a mustard stain on his mother’s furniture.
“Yes. Or. No.”
Chad huffs, crosses his arms, looks her straight in the eye and says, “Yes. Yes I am.” his voice is wavering, because even though it’s not true, will never be true, it still hurts to say it. “Is that why you came? To ask me that? Of all the stupid, carele—” he cuts himself off before he says something dangerous. “You brats are all gonna get yourselves killed without me.”
“No.“ Rachel says, “I rather think we’ll be fine. As hard as it may be for you to believe, Chad, the K.N.D. has managed without you before, and will manage now.”
He wants to jump to his feet and punch something, but the M.U.S.K.E.T. is still on him and he’s already in enough trouble with one mustard stain.
“You know what? Fine! That’s just fine! I don’t wanna have anything to do with you stupid brats anymore! I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! ALL OF YOU SNOTTY NOSED, UNGRATEFUL, SELFISH—” by the time he’s done yelling he feels like he swallowed sandpaper, his eyes sting, and really, it actually is out of rage.
But more then that, he feels so exhausted. He has no idea how he’s going to keep this double agent thing up, and he’s only just started.
Throughout his breakdown, Numbuh 362 just calmly watches him and keeps her gun steady.
Then she puts it down.
Chad knows he should be jumping up and going at her, but he only blinks in surprise. He watches her put the gun into her bag and hears her mumble something like “too intense eye contact”.
She looks back at him and says, “Happy birthday, Numbuh 274. I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I really hope it’s worth it.”
Rachel’s opening the front door to leave and he’s so quiet, she’s pretty sure he didn’t mean for her to hear: “Yeah, I hope so, too.”
She is sitting at a desk. The Soopreme Leader’s desk. Her desk. That is in her office. Which is on her Moonbase. She wasn’t surprised when they picked her. She was the obvious choice. She was already helping run the place and, besides, she actually wanted the job. Still… The Kids Next Door is a huge organization. There are hundreds of treehouses and thousands of operatives and now, they were all counting on her. They were officially her kids.
“Congratulations, Numbuh 362.″ After years of dealing with loud, rude, excitable children, Numbuh Infinity’s calm, polite voice sets her teeth on edge.
“Thank you, Numbuh Infinity.” She pauses, looks him up and down, “Is there something you need?”
Infinity smiles, “Actually…” he places something on the desk. It’s a beige folder, not thick, but not thin either. On the cover it said: ‘T.N.D.-overview’.
Rachel raises an eyebrow and looks at Infinity expectantly. “Please, have a look.“ He’s still smiling, ”I am in no hurry.“
She opens it and starts reading.
Besides being calm and polite, Numbuh Infinity is also patient. He takes a seat and watches Rachel go through the folder. By the end of the first page, her expression has gone from amicably neutral to carefully blank. Around page five, her knuckles have gone white but, on page seventeen, she loosened her grip. When she finishes, she closes the folder, taps it gently on the sides to better arrange the papers and puts it down.
“Who knows about this?” Her expression is still blank and her body language merely speaks of polite interest but Infinity is very grateful for having a desk between them.
“Besides the Soopreme Leader, me, and the agents involved?” She nods. “Only the head of Decommissioning”
Rachel closes her eyes and breathes out through her nose. Fanny actually kept a secret from her. A big secret at that. She’s proud of her for her commitment to the K.N.D. but, at the same time, ouch.
”And it says here that they’re picked for” she leafs through the papers,”‘their loyalty to the K.N.D.’ and ‘dedication to the fight against adult tyranny’?”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“Then, tell me, Numbuh Infinity, these loyal, dedicated, passionate operatives,” she takes a deep breath, ”why do you hate them?”
Numbuh Infinity looks just about ready to fall over from surprise, ”Pardon?”
Rachel can feel her voice rising, ”These wonderful, committed, loyal operatives! Why! Do! You! HATE THEM!?” She’s leaning over the desk now and Numbuh Infinity is trying to sink into his chair.
“What on Earth are you saying? I don’t ha—“
“OH REALLY?! WELL YOU SURE FOOLED ME, NUMBUH INFINITY!“ She’s shouting at top volume now, but it doesn’t matter. Her office is soundproof. “YOU WALTZ IN HERE WITH THAT SMUG, POLITE FACE OF YOURS AND GIVE ME THIS…THIS…THIS CRUD!“ She picks up the folder and throws it at him. “AND YOU LOOK SO PLEASED WITH YOURSELF! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!“
Infinity looks like he’s about to cry. “I don’t understa—“
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND?! HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?“ She actually made it over the desk, and has now picked Infinity up by the collar. “YOU TOOK THESE, THESE, THESE KIDS! WONDERFUL KIDS! LOYAL KIDS! TALENTED KIDS! MY KIDS! AND THEN YOU MADE THEM MISERABLE!“
“Wha—“
“BECAUSE! THEY EITHER HAVE TO PRETEND THAT THEY ARE DECOMMISSIONED OR THAT THEY ARE A TRAITOR! EITHER WAY THEY LOSE ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS!“
Numbuh Infinity’s eyes go wide and he starts to say something, but Rachel cuts him off, “AND ANY NEW FRIENDS THEY MIGHT MAKE, WELL, THEY CAN’T REALLY BE FRIENDS, NOW CAN THEY? HARD TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU’RE SPILLING ALL OF THEIR SECRETS BEHIND THEIR BACK, RIGHT?!”
She wants nothing more than to break his face in, but Infinity is shaking, has his eyes shut tightly, is scared. 362 lets go of him and leans on the desk behind her. Takes a deep breath. Then another one. And another.
Finally, she says, ”Just… Just go. I’ll call for you when I’m capable of discussing this.”
He didn’t need to be told twice.
It was here that Numbuh Infinity decided that 362 is definitely unsuited for the G.K.N.D. It was a shame, really, her skills would’ve been of enormous use. But he couldn’t afford to take someone that, should the time to make difficult decisions come, would pick Earth without a second thought.
His mother is at baking-club and his father’s at work. He’s reading a book when the doorbell rings. And rings again. And again. By the time he gets up, whoever is on the other side was clearly just leaning on it.
“WHAT?” he yanks the door open.
“Numbuh 274, list—” Rachel McKenzie starts and then hurriedly puts her boot between the door and the doorframe. “Ow.”
“What are you doing here? What the crud are you doing at all?” Chad pushes the door with all he’s got.
“No, wait I just—”
“Just nothing! You already got me grounded for a month and—”
“A month?! How?! Is it because of the invites?”
“Inv— No, you stupid kid! Because of the mustard!” What are her boots made of?!
“Mustard?! What mustard?!”
“The mustard you shot at my mother’s armchair! Now, GO! AWAY!”
Instead, she manages to get her arm up to her shoulder through the gap, “Look. Just, just hear me out. Please? Just five minutes. And then I’m gone.”
He’s leaning on the door, watching her arm flail uselessly. “Please, Chad?” her voice is very quiet, “Just five minutes.”
The door swings back too suddenly and Rachel literally falls in, right on her face. “You’ve got two.”
She gets up, “You got grounded for a month over a mustard stain?“
“Minute and 30 seconds.”
Rachel doesn’t even blink, “What did you tell them about the invitation?”
Chad glares at her, but still he says, “That you’re gullible and that someone thought it would be funny to prank you like that.”
“Hm.”
“Fifty seconds”
Rachel just sighs and pulls something out of her pocket, “Just wanted to give you this.” She held out an envelope to him, ”Call it a belated birthday present.”
Chad eyed it suspiciously.
“It won’t explode,” she waved it around a bit, “I promise.”
When he doesn’t make a move to take it, Rachel sighs and lowers her arm. At least, she tries to lower her arm. Chad’s grabbed her by the sleeve of her jacket. She raises an eyebrow at him, but he’s looking at the envelope.
“It won’t explode?”
“No, Chad. It won’t explode.” He snatches it out of her hand, and then all but throws her out. Rachel flinches at the slam of the door, has half a mind to turn around and kick his moody, teenage butt. Instead, she sighs again and makes her way to the nearest K.N.D. shuttle dock. She’s done all she could, the rest was up to him.
Chad doesn’t open the envelope for a while. He goes back to his book. Does his homework. Calls Cavallero to complain about said homework. Helps his mother with the groceries. Wishes he could play video games. Calls Cavallero to complain about not being able to play video games. Has dinner with his parents. Washes the dishes. Convinces his parents to let him use the internet to find a job. Calls Cavallero to complain about how you can’t do anything interesting to earn money while you’re thirteen. Reads some more. Gets a call from Cavallero for him to complain about his homework. Wishes he could play video games again. Takes a shower. Brushes his teeth. Puts on his pajamas. Lies in bed and stares at the ceiling for a while. Wishes goodnight to his parents. Turns off the lights. Stares at the ceiling some more. Listens for his parents to stop talking and the tell-tale click of them turning off their lamps.
After that, he waits another fifteen minutes.
Then, he grabs a flashlight, grabs the envelope, and climbs entirely under the covers. It’s plain white and there’s nothing written on it. She didn’t even glue it closed, just tucked the flap in. For some reason, that makes him smile. He takes the flashlight between his head and shoulder, untucks the flap and slowly pulls out the contents. One’s a photo, and his throat closes and his eyes water. It’s from that stupid party. The one he nearly fell into a sugar coma at. The one he barely remembers.
But he remembers when they took the photo.
Numbuh 10 suggested it. “After all”, she reasoned, “when are we next gonna be all in the same place?”
He was on soda five or six. Not enough to not be able to stand, but enough for everything to be pink and wobbly and make him think that that was the best idea ever. Then he remembers how someone said: ”But only if we do it right!”
Doing it right turned out to be more complicated than anyone thought possible.
Firstly, they had to set up a camera far enough to get them all, and then they had to set it so that it takes the photo on it’s own, since no one was to be left out.
Secondly, it meant getting everyone arranged according to rank.
And, boy, were there some fights over who’s more important. They had a “Most Impressive Bruise” pageant the day after. A few people lost some teeth. But it didn’t bother him. Everyone knew that he goes in the middle. And everyone knew that Numbuh 362 goes just to his right. So while utter chaos reigned around them, they stood in pleasant, companionable silence.
By the time everyone else settled, his fifth or sixth drink had turned into the eighth or ninth and he had to lean on Rachel to not fall over.
Then it turned out that the camera has been taking pictures every few seconds since they mounted it on the railing. Still, to give everyone an opportunity to put their best face forward, and because he couldn’t, Rachel counted down. So everyone stood at some semblance of attention, plastered a smile on their face and, naturally, the next day, when the pictures were printed out, absolutely no one took that one.
(It went on the Big K.N.D. Photo Wall, for all future generations to see.)
Chad picked one from somewhere round the end of the fighting. Most of the kids had settled and were talking to the person next to them. Talking people made goofy faces.
In the center of the frame, he was in the middle of saying something, his mouth eternally stuck enunciating the letter “R”, but that was besides the point. He had started swaying on his feet, so he had just slung his arm around Rachel. And if you didn’t know her well, she looked appropriately annoyed. But Chad did know her well, at least, he did then, and he could tell, by the way her ears were red and her eyes crinkled, that she was having fun. At that moment, Rachel having fun was the most important thing in the world.
He flipped the photo on it’s back and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He was sure that it was thrown out of airlock, as per procedure for all traitor operatives’ things. He had no idea how Rachel managed to save it.
The other thing in the envelope was a folded piece of paper.
When he opened it, it had on it a phone number and:
‘If you ever need someone to talk to, remember, when it comes to espionage, I’m the best there is.’
Chad folded the note and put it, and the photo, back into the envelope. He put the envelope under his mattress. Then, for the first time in a while, he wasn’t miserable about the fact that he has to get up in the morning.
He just might take her up on that offer.
He never gets the chance.