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Elliot’s head met his desk as he took in a deep breath. He was burning both ends of his candle trying to just figure out a location. It was past midnight, that’s all he knew. He felt a hand on his shoulder and instantly jerked up.
“Go home.” Elliot scrubbed his hands over his face, taking in a quick sniff while he widened his eyes to get the sleep out of them and shook his head.
“I’ve almost got it cap. I’ll get a few hours in the crib.”
“Your partner went home and so should you.” His partner. Elliot vividly remembered a small remark from Olivia about going home. When was the last time you saw your kids for more than a few seconds? It was somewhat a joke. Of course Elliot wasn’t just staying at work and abandoning his family. He went home. Not enough but he went home. Home didn’t have to deal with three rape-homicides and Elliot was driving himself insane just trying to find the location of where the bastard was hiding. He definitely wasn’t hiding at the Stabler home.
“The faster I figure out where he is, the faster we get him off the street. That isn’t happening if I go home.” Cragen looked at Elliot in silence for a few seconds.
“Go home.” He repeated himself like a broken record everyday but nobody in the department really ever listened. “That’s an order Elliot.” He lingered for a second before he walked away, surely to advise someone else to go home. Elliot closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He let out a quiet groan, drew in a deep breath through his nose and let himself feel the aches in his back. An office cot would do him no good. He stood up, grabbed his stuff off his desk and then his coat and slung it over his arm as he walked out.
The air was cold but not freezing. Not that he could really feel it through his button up anyway. His eyes always wandered as he drove, scanning around even in the dark for anything out of place. Anything that would require him to do his job. He was always working. Elliot Stabler was a man that prioritized the protection of his family over anything else and he’d kill himself if they could potentially get hurt because of something he overlooked. So he kept himself on the job more than he could see his kids sometimes. It was all for them anyways. He ran that excuse through his head whenever he didn’t go home.
“You’re early,” he heard Kathy tiredly mumble when Elliot sat down on the edge of their bed. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. His body was so stiff and starched.
“You should be sleeping.”
“You should too.” Elliot let out a small breath and pulled off his shoes. He knew better than to argue. There was nothing for him to rightfully argue.
“Well what can I say, tough case.”
“What about?”
“Nothing I should tell you about right before bed.” Elliot pulled off the rest of his clothes until he was in his underwear and put his clothes in a laundry hamper that was in the corner of their room. His eyes darted towards their window and then he recounted to himself if he had really checked if everything was locked. He shut the curtains.
“Elliot,” Kathy started. He looked back at her and started to quietly get under the covers. “Nothing’ll happen if our curtains are open. Everything’s locked, we’re okay.” She turned to face him in bed, the sheets rustling in the quiet as they fell into a soft silence. He could feel her eyes on his. The dark couldn’t erase years of knowing the layout of each other’s faces.
“I know.” Elliot’s voice was quiet. Kathy reached out and gently held his face in her hand. He closed his eyes and his body finally relaxed and he could feel the aches all over his body. There was a bruise on his ribs that, no matter how light, the covers irritated. He was so close to nabbing the guy but one misstep left him with empty hands and a bruise. Maybe he should’ve stayed at his desk. But it wouldn’t have been fair to Kathy. Or maybe it would have been. His constant crossroad was whether or not a missed night with his family was worth it if it meant he got another creep that could hurt them off the streets. He wouldn’t burden Kathy with asking that ever.
“Get some sleep,” Kathy whispered, removing her hand and kissing his cheek before she settled back beside him. Her arm went around him, avoiding where he was turning purple as if she knew. Maybe she had somehow. Elliot pulled Kathy into his arms, the warmth of her distracting him.
He’d surely try his best.