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It wasn’t any different from last year. Sitting in the empty kitchen staring at the uneaten cupcake sitting on top of the table with a candle on top of it. His family once again has forgotten about his birthday. He sigh, It was foolish for him to hope that something will be different this years. Every year never once his family was there for him. Not once had they given him a congratulation. It was so unfair for him, that he was always there whenever his family was celebrating their birthday, laughing and eating together in one table like an actual family. But when it comes to him, they never do the same.
It was so unfair.
He sigh again reaching for the lighter on the table to light up the candle on his cupcake. He knows why they are acting like this. It wasn’t a secret for him. But he never understand it. It wasn’t his fault. It was never his fault and yet they keep staring at him as if he was the problem. He light the candle and stare at it once again. His family only excuses that they were busy, that they have something to do as if he wasn’t important to them.
Because he wasn’t.
People always say to make a wish before blowing the candle. But he has enough making wishes that never come true. He can hear the door opening and the sound of his family coming his way as he blow the candle out. The sound die down the moment they set their eyes at him. Sitting in a chair with a cupcake on the table. It was quite a sad sight.
His oldest brother was the first one to speak up “Hey…” he called out slowly, approaching him.
“Don’t.” He simply said, He know what they were going to say. That they were sorry for missing his birthday again this year. That they promise will remembered it next year.
Liar.
“It’s…” he sigh feeling tired from being treated this way by his own family. “Forget it” he shakes his head, getting up from his seat while taking the cupcake and walk to his bedroom.
“Wait-“ his father stopped before he interrupt him off.
“What?! What do you want to say to me?” He snapped at him, facing his whole family. “I know what you are going to say dad, it’s been template for all of you at this point.” He shouted at them. Some of them looking away feeling guilty while others share the same expressions as him.
“That’s not fair, you know that we-“ His second oldest brother had tried to argue but he was having none of it. “You what!? You don’t think I don't know?” He argued back
“It’s not fair for me too…” he whispered through the silence.
He want this feeling to stop, wanting to feel like apart of the family. Not just someone who happened to be in the family.
“You keep forgetting my birthday every year…” He continued, finally having enough of the treatment from his family. “I want all of us to celebrate it together like family...” He said.
“You think It’s easy?” He heard his third brother finally spoke up after being silent through the whole time.
“Don’t-“ He hear his father tried stopping his brother but he didn’t listen and continue on.
“You think we can just ignore what today is?” He heard his brother voice full of venom.
“It just for one day, Why can’t you just for once-“ He wanted to scream to his family but his brother beat him to it.
“Because you are the constant reminder that our mother is dead!” He shouted to him. Finally the word comes out. The word he has expecting one of them would say the moment he start complaining about this. It wasn’t fair for them to blame him for something he didn’t know about.
No one said anything, not even his father tried to stopped them. His frustration only grow more and he clenched the fist beside him. “You think I wanted this? You think I ask for all of this?” He shouted, eyes getting red as the tears start forming. “I never even know my own mother and yet all of you blame-“ He didn’t even finish before he was pushed hard buy his brother making him stumbled backward almost making him fall down to the floor “Don’t talk like you know anything”.
“That’s enough” He heard his oldest brother finally tried to break them off.
“I’m tired living like this” He sobbed wiping the tears that are starting to form in his eyes. Before any of his family opened his mouth to say something. He turned around running to upstair to his bedroom. Locking it even though he know no one will come to check up on him. He went to his bed and lay on it as he let the tear flowing. His eyes start to grow more heavy and before he knows It he start to drifted of to sleep.
He wakes up some time later noticing that from the window it had gotten darker outside. He sigh staring at the ceiling of his room remembering this afternoon event. God he was so tired of this, of everything, just wanting to end all of this. The thought of running away also crossed his mind many times. But he has been so afraid of what will come next? He haven’t graduate from high school yet.
He sigh feels his stomach grumbling from not eating since the afternoon. How long was he asleep for? And yet no one bother to wake him up or check him. He get off from the bed and silently make his way to the kitchen grabbing something for him to eat. He decided to make himself a sandwich thinking that might help his stomach. He was in the middle of eating before he heard a footstep growing closer revealing his oldest brother. He jumped from the sight of his older bother came in to his view.
“What are you doing up so late?” His brother had asked, sounding tired.
“I’m hungry” he replied biting another piece of his sandwich. His brother only nodded “Right, yeah…”.
They went back to being silent before he can heard his brother start to sigh “Listen...” he simply said and he was internally groaning, not having the energy to deal with this. “We really are sorry, It’s just…. It’s a bit hard to ignore it” His brother tried to explained as if that makes it any better.
“It hurt you know” He finally said after being silent.
“That I’m always there for all of your birthday” He said looking down at the table, “And yet all of you never did the same for me” He whispered. His brother only looked down, guilt plastered on his face.
“I’m tired living like this...” He continued finally finishing his sandwich and makes his way to the drawer, taking some food he can take back to his room.
“I’m sorry” his brother only whispered. He closed the top drawer when he finally get everything he think he needed and start making his way back to his room walking past his brother.
He stopped at the middle of the stair, looking back to where his brother is still standing and called him. “I wish things could have been different” He said. “I love you, Even if you were rarely there for me, you still make an effort to be there” He smiled softly toward his brother who can't smiled back at him hearing the compliments
“But I don’t know if you could say the same to me.” He whispered at the silent night. HIs brother opened his mouth only to closed it again looking like wanting to say something but immediately decided against it. He only smiled at the proof he needed.
“Goodbye” He simply said before turning around heading to his room with the food in his arms. Leaving his brother alone in the kitchen. He closed the door behind him and make his way to grab his bag and stuffed the food inside as well some clothes.
He can’t believe that he will be doing this. To finally running away from here. The thought was scary but he doesn't care. He has enough. He walked toward his window and opening it up as the cold air of the night hitting him. He climbed out of his window, stopping himself to look back at his room once more. The only place he can call his sanctuary, where nothing can disturb him here. He doesn’t know if he will miss it.
He finally turn away from the sight of his room and jumped down, making his way to the bus stop. He walked along the side of the pavement and set his eyes at the bus stop. He sit at the chair and waited for the bus to arrive. He doesn’t even know if there is one going to arrive at this hour. It was late but not late enough for one to appear. After a long wait he can see the headlight coming closer from a far.
When it came to full stop he stood at where the door is and get inside as the door opened. He greet the bus driver with a simple nod before finding himself a seat. He looked around noticing some people are still boarding the bus. He went to find a seat near the window and sit at it as the bus continue moving. He stares outside of the window as a dawning of realization finally came over him.
He was running away
Running away with no exact destination. He can’t help but feel fear at the thought of that alone.
He might regret his choice later, but for now... he just want to be away from his family.