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Lily Evans has secret .
Lily Evans has a secret she hasn’t told anyone.
She doesn’t know exactly how it happened. She doesn’t know why she let this happen. How could she be so silly? She never thought she would get feelings for anyone in Hogwarts, she was too busy focusing on her classes, making sure she got top marks in her exams. She especially thought she would never get feelings for him.
It happened when she would go to the quidditch stands to watch Marlene practice. She enjoyed the wind her hair and the cheers from the Gryffindor team. She would bring a book with her and read in the stands or talk to Remus when he would come to watch Sirius. Sitting there watching her friend fly circles around everyone else and hit bludgers with a bat with more force than anyone. That was until she caught herself not watching her friend anymore. She was watching James Potter.
Watching instruct his teammates what to do and helping the younger students whenever they struggled, encouraging them that they can do it. The wind would mess up his already messy hair and he would stick his tongue out just a little bit when he was really concentrating. This was her favourite thing she noticed about him. He had a goofy grin that would make an appearance when Marlene or Sirius would make a joke. His glasses would go wonky after flying for too long and he would try and tame his hair but it would never work.
Get a grip. She would say to herself when she caught herself watching him for just a little too long. It wasn’t news to anyone that James had a reputation of trying to get Lily’s attention or go on a date with him. It was obviously all some joke he had with Sirius she thought. But now she has fallen for it and doesn’t know what to do. Because how could she fancy James Potter? The James potter who would strut around the castle like he owns it. The James Potter who disturbed classes and pulled pranks. The James Potter who would hex Slytherins. But then, he is also the James Potter who would hex Slytherins if they picking on a younger student or a muggleborn. The James Potter who took in his best friend after his family disowned him. The James Potter who stand outside classes waiting to collect homework for Remus when he was ill. The James Potter who would move the heavens and earth it would make his friends happy. The James potter who would put everyone else’s happiness before his own. How could she not fancy James Potter?
She knew she had to tell Marlene and Mary but she didn’t want to. They would just make fun of her for falling for it, for being so naive. But then again, who better to talk to than James’ childhood best friend Marlene, she would know if he has genuine feelings or if it was just a big joke. And who better to ask than Mary, the girl that plucked up the courage to announce to the world her feelings for the Black heir Regulus, knowing the backlash that would come from it from the other Slytherins. Out of everyone in Hogwarts Lily is glad to Marlene and Mary to have as her best friends.
It was getting close to curfew by now and Lily was still in the quidditch stands after the Gryffindor team had left. She walked down the steps looking at the sunset across the black lake. She loved Hogwarts scenery, she could sit out here forever and just take it all in. waling up the Gryffindor common room she could already here laughter coming from inside, there was always laughter in their common room which is why she loved it so much. Walking inside she realised the laughter was because Sirius performed a spell on James causing him to floating around the room performing an Irish Jig.
“Oi, Evans”
“Having fun up there Potter?” she said as she looked up at him with a smile forming. She could always rely on the Marauders to put a smile on her face. She looked at Remus who was laughing in the chair next to the fire “What did he do to deserve this then?”
“He said Sirius wasn’t Effie’s least favourite son.” Remus managed to scrape out in between laughing. Sirius was still holding his wand towards James making sure the hex is still in place.
“Don’t even think about helping him Evans, he is staying up there until he retracts his statement.”
“Don't worry Black you can keep up there as long as you like, maybe it will stop his pestering me.” She said with smile on her face walking towards the girl dormitory.
She was getting nervous now. She had never had feelings for anyone before. Sure she found people attractive but having feelings for someone? Never. How was she supposed to bring this up to her friends? Would they think she’s silly for fancying James?
She walked into her dorm fiddling with the end of her robes. She looked into the dorm and Marlene was sat with her legs crossed on her bed. She had taken her blonde curly hair out of a ponytail and let it fall down to just below her shoulders. She had Dorcas’ quidditch shirt on with tartan pyjama paints while she was lighting the cigarette in her mouth with her wand, listening to her David Bowie album. Across from Marlene was Mary led on her front reading a piece of paper with French on that Regulus was teaching her. Her brows knotted together as she tried to pronounce the words and then let out a sigh showing she had enough. She loved her friends and how they would show off their love for their significant other no matter what anyone else thought of them. Because people had a lot to say about a muggleborn dating the Black heir and Marlene dating another girl. But this never stopped her friends being proud of them and showing it to the world.
Lily took in a deep breath, plucking up her courage to admit her secret.
“I have something I need to talk to you about.” She announced to her friends. They both looked up at her with a confused face and then at each other. Marlene and Mary could always talk to each other without using words just by the expression on their faces. “I fancy James and I have done for a while now. I know it’s silly and that I have fallen for his joke but I need you two to help me.”
Marlene had a shit eating grin on her face whilst Mary was trying to hold in a laugh. She knew that they would act like this, she shouldn’t have told them. She was about to tell them to let their laughs out but Marlene spoke first.
“You don’t think James’ feelings for you are actually a joke right?”
“Well of course I do, it’s obvious.”
“For someone so smart you are a bit bloody stupid.”
“Oh don’t be mean Marls, what she is trying to say is that James’ feelings for you are not a joke.” Mary spoke up sitting up on her bed now brushing her fingers through her tight curls.
“What do you mean not a joke?” Lily was getting really nervous now. Did James really like her? No. why would he? Lily with her ginger hair and freckles all over her face and arms. Lily who ignored him for years because her was arrogant. Lily who was a goody goody and always concentrated in class. Lily who would defend Snape ignoring what anyone had to say about him until she learned. Lily who was shy and quiet. There is no way James Potter fancied Lily Evans.
“James will never shut up about you. He is always talking about how pretty you are reading your book, concentrating on it with your tongue out a bit to show you really are concentrating on when you’re up in the quidditch stand during practice. He is always saying something about how pretty or smart you are and what he would do for just a little bit of your attention. Asking me if you talk about him and if he actually has a chance with you.” Marlene stated as she was stubbing out her cigarette on the window ledge.
“Marlene this isn’t a joke you can’t just say things like that.” Lily mumbled as she was looking down at her shoes, embarrassed.
“She isn’t joking Lily, Reg tells me all the time how James is always taking about when the boys are together, and when he’s not talking about you he is staring at you with awe all over his face, I’ve seen it.” She looked over to marry as she said this, she could not believe anything coming out of her friend’s mouth. She though it was a joke all these years.
“What do I do? Will he still want me after all this time? After I have ignored him every time he has asked me out?” Lily sighed as she led on her bed staring at the ceiling.
“Lily of course James still want you. He is obsessed with you, you’re everything he has ever wanted and more, and trust me I know because he tells me all the time.” Marlene stated with a soft smile on her face, Lilly could trust Marlene and she knew but it all just felt surreal. She couldn’t believe it.
James Potter fancies Lily Evans.
Lily Evans fancies James Potter.
Mary spoke up next, “I think you should tell him how you fell lils, because the worse he can say is no, and James will not say no.”
She led there taking it all in. Should she tell him? It would definitely help her stop thinking about him all time, it would take that weight off her chest that’s been there for months now. What would she even say to him? Would he just laugh at her and walk away leaving her alone? Alone. She hated the thought of that. Marlene had come over and led on the bed with her with their hands intertwined.
“You should go tell him.”
She turned to look at Marlene and she knew she was right. It was fair to her nor James to keep these feelings a secret. So she stood up plucking up her courage and started heading towards the common room. Remus and James were the only ones in there now as it was getting late, they were cleaning up after what looks like a game of chess gone wrong. The little pieces were all over the room no doubt from Sirius after Remus beat him again. The step creaked as she walked down announcing her presence to them both. James had his goofy grin on his face and Remus with his shy smile looking at her.
“James can I speak to you please? Alone.” Remus looked at them both and nodded at James before going up to the boy’s dormitory. She was getting really nervous now fiddling with the end of her robes again.
“Are you okay Lily?” James asked with a concerned face.
God. Why did he have to care so much for everyone?
“I need to tell you something which is kind of hard for me to say so you please just let me say it?” she looked at him as he nodded and she took in a deep breath before the words came spilling out of her mouth, “Right so urm, I have kind of realised these past few months that I have feelings for you and I am not expecting anything from you, I just need to tell you so it is off my mind. I know you’re always asking me out and well I thought it was all just a big joke because why would you fancy me?” she let out a little laugh before carrying on, “And well I guess, I don’t know really what happened but after watching you care for all your friends I realised who you are and I liked it so I just thought I should let you know how I feel.” She was looking into his eyes now.
And he just stood there with no expression on his face staring at her.
“I don’t believe you.”
“What do you mean you don’t bloody believe me?”
“I swear to merlin if Marlene put you up to this because I put her in a time out during practice I will kill her.”
“Marlene has not put me up to anything!” she could feel her face getting red. How bloody stupid could Potter be?
“I don’t believe you.”
God how is one person so infuriating? How could he not believe her after everything she just said? She stood there studying his face. His glasses were wonky and hair sticking up in every direction possible. She noticed something new, he had a chip in his front tooth, it was cute. She had never stood this close to him before studying his face. God was he gorgeous. She had to make him believe her and there was only way how. She plucked up her courage and stood on her tiptoes holding his face in her hands.
They stared at each other for a few seconds before she leaned in and kissed him.
She realised this was everything she ever needed. Their lips brushing against one another, sending tingles all down her spine. This was everything she ever wanted. He moved his hands to hips pulling her closer so there wasn’t a gap between them and their bodies fit perfectly together. It was like her body knew what to do before she did and it was amazing. Sure she had kisses before but nothing could beat this.
She pulled away after what felt like forever staring up at him, “Believe me now Potter?”
“I don’t know you might need to prove it to me again,” he said as he was staring down at her with those big brown eyes she loved. He pulled in again picking her up walking towards the couch in common room laying her down gently.
“You just have to ask nicely.”