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Tammy frolicks through her dreams of sugar and softness and all that is good.
Except for the dreams filled with teeth and dimness and all that is horrifying.
She doesn't like those dreams.
She cries to her dad in the mornings and then at the creche, she buries herself in games of house with Cal and fanciful plays of morals and child ingenuity alongside Anemone and Marz and Sol.
(Once Tammy came crying and said too much and all of the other kids scrunched their faces and were so sad and scared)
(Except Dys who blinked and gave her an odd look)
(Tammy hates that she made her friends cry)
Then the wormhole arrives and Tammy sobs. She knows but doesn't know and knows and and and -
crack crack crack
It takes two weeks for Tammy to wake up. Her dreams had been blurry and dark and while she cried a bit waking up, it had...been nice, in a dark way.
She doesn't tell her dad. He fussed enough about her healed concussion and broken arm.
(Her arm clicks for the rest of her life. No. Lives. The break is something she does not escape)
Tammy settles in as best she can. She ignores Vertumna, even as she watches Cal become besotted with the dirt, as her other friends and former playmates find their niche, and she throws herself caring for the little ones in the creche.
Except Sol is listless and wandering, and something twists in Tammy. Something clicks in her dreams.
(Tammy dreams of hunger and broken walls)
(Tammy dreams of spongey dirt)
Sol has always listened with a soft smile to everyone of the colony. They even held Tammy's hand after a nightmare when Tonin was beyond the walls.
Tammy goes to Sol and away from listening ears, tells them what's been happening. How the dreams feel real. How she's sure they will all be hungry soon.
Sol listens with wide eyes, and then tells Tammy to meet them outside the walls in a couple of days. Sol knows someone who can help.
(Tammy dreams of silhouettes that are human-not-human and she begins to understand)
Tammy finds the pipe Dys and Sol have been using. Dys scoffs at her, but hurries away. Sol is not there, but Tammy crawls out and waits.
And waits.
And waits until a human-not-human silhouette appears.
Tammy is afraid but she's not and -
And the dreams click and whir -
And Tammy-not-Tammy recognizes but doesn't and -
Sol is not here.
The Vertumnan without a name is. And Tammy listens.
The planet has existed before humans and will exist long after and right now, her colony's very existence hangs in the balance.
There are plans for how to deal with the new neighbors from the Vertumnans.
And so begins Tammy's adventure.
She seeks out the Vertumnan when she can, occasionally being caught by her father who wonders at her newfound bravery. He doesn't want to encourage her to be so terrified of the world again, but he doesn't want her wandering outside.
And so Tammy wanders.
She follows Dys' shadow to the edge of the wild. She slips away from Cal's sight on the farm.
And Sol? Sol helps her.
Sol meets the Vertumnan, remarks how different they are, but they seem nice. And only a little less cryptic than Sol's good Vertumnan friend.
(Tammy will one day and could now and shall never meet Sym, all on the choices and dreams and only once does she say the name before the meeting)
(And only once since landing does Sol give her a bewildered look)
And so it begins. Tammy learns of the fauna and planet.
The colony struggles.
Tammy learns pieces of the planet's long history.
The colony is attacked.
Tammy's gives an offer.
(In the distance, another ship grows closer and closer)
During the fifth Glow since landfall, the colony is under siege like never before. Sol is with Tammy in the creche, protecting the little ones.
Sol is injured. Tammy remembers the offer.
"Come away with the little ones. We don't all hate you."
Here lies Tammy's most important choice.
She knows in her bones that if she calls for her friend, calls for help in her quietest voice, they can be whisked away.
But she could bandage Sol, and keep the children away from the worst of the destruction.
The creche shakes.
If Tammy chooses the colony, she will never see her friend again. She will be injured, and she and Sol will awake to a new colony and a new rule.
(She will hate and love the Helios in turns - they can protect them but they are smothering them and she misses her friend)
But if she calls her friend...
She whispers and hums and begins a lullaby for the little ones. She holds Sol in her lap, pressing against the wounds. The children gather.
And then they are gone. The colony does not find them.
The Array grows and learns as the childrrn grow and learn.
Stratos dies. Helios perishes.
Humans learn to be Vertumnan, or they become a Gardener too.
Tammy and Sol and the little children marching amongst the pollen - what a lullaby for an AI.