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Reki had been looking forward to this day.
It wasn't going to be anything out of the ordinary, but he'd still planned it a week prior; Langa would come to his house after school to spend the night, they'd hang out for a few hours, and when it was late enough so they wouldn't get caught, they could sneak off to S in time to watch Joe and Cherry race.
All in all, it was a typical S night to Reki. That fact not doing anything to diminish the excitement he still felt about going to Crazy Rock, even after all this time. He really liked the place, and it was rare to not spot him there when he knew the gates would be open.
Unfortunately, today was different.
As soon as Reki woke up that morning, he felt exhausted.
He'd been constantly waking up throughout the night, unable to get comfortable. No matter how hard he tried, he always felt this dull ache on his back. It was a similar pain to how his legs felt after a few days of intense skating, but he couldn't really remember doing anything that would put too much strain on his back. So, besides being sleep deprived, he was also frustrated at not knowing the cause of his discomfort.
And of course, Langa picked up on it immediately when they met up in the morning, but chose not to comment on it. At least, not while they were at school. He only gave him worried glances the whole day, glances which Reki kept reflecting with a smile.
It isn't until they're alone in Reki's room hours later that Langa finally decides to bring it up. As soon as the door's closed, Langa approaches him, gently holding him by the arms, and asks, "Are you okay, Reki?"
Reki smiles weakly up at him. "Yeah, just tired. Didn't sleep too well." He pats him lightly on the chest and makes his way over to the bed, plopping onto it with a heavy sigh.
Langa follows, sitting down by his side. "We could skip S and just hang out here," Langa suggests, his hand playing with Reki's hair.
"I don't wanna miss the race, though..."
"I'll ask Miya to send us videos." Langa musses up Reki's hair before laying down next to him. "I'm sure they'll annoy each other into racing again."
Reki laughs softly into his boyfriend's side and brings him closer with a hug. "Yeah, you're right, dude." Lower, he says, "Thinking about getting up is tiring me out, anyway."
So they stay like that, huddled close to each other talking about inconsequential things.
It's good.
Langa's presence always manages to soothe Reki, and this time is no exception, because without noticing, he falls asleep. The persistent discomfort temporarily forgotten thanks to his boyfriend's calming ministrations and voice.
Later, Reki wakes up to the smell of food and an empty bed. He's confused for a few seconds, wondering where Langa went. But almost as soon as the thought had appeared in his mind, he feels the bed dip next to him. Looking up, he can see that Langa is holding a tray with food for the both of them.
Reki wants to kiss the boy senseless from how sweet he could be.
After they're done eating, Reki's feeling significantly better than before; he's slightly more alert and can barely feel the pain that littered his body just hours prior.
Even so, he's still too tired to really move away from his bed. Not that he'd want to right now, too comfortable sitting against the wall with Langa hugging him from behind, his chin over Reki's shoulder so they could both watch the videos Miya sent of S.
And while this wasn't the original plan for the day, Reki still felt content to spend it with Langa. Even if all they're doing is lazying around.
So it's no surprise when around 1 AM Reki can feel Langa gradually lean more heavily on him, his arms falling slack on Reki's lap. He realizes that he doesn't know if Langa slept along with him earlier, or if he just stayed awake the whole time.
Pausing the video, he pats Langa gently on the head to get his attention, it tilting to look at Reki through sleepy eyes.
"Tired?" he asks him.
All he gets in response is a hum and a face nuzzled on his neck. Reki leans his head on Langa's and suggests, "We can go to bed if you want."
He feels Langa's head shaking in denial, his hand moving towards Reki's phone to resume the recording of the race. Still with his face buried in Reki's neck, he groggily says, "...No, I'm still watching."
Reki can't hide the slight shiver that Langa's breath on his skin causes. Even so, he laughs, a little shakily, at the obvious lie. Bonking his head lightly on Langa's, he replies, "Liar."
Apparently, his reaction did not go unnoticed by Langa, who starts kissing up his neck. "Yeah." Reki can feel the smile on his skin as he continues rising higher.
It's not until Langa reaches just below his ear that he speaks up, "L-langa?" Reki wasn't complaining about the affection, but he was admittedly caught a bit off guard by Langa's sudden course of action.
Langa stops kissing him, but doesn't move from his current position. "...Too much?"
"No, just– uhh–" Reki adjusts his grip on the phone that had started slipping from his hands, video still playing. "Distracting."
He's not even graced with any type of response this time, Langa seemingly taking his words as a go ahead to not stop what he was previously doing.
Reki truly has no objections to this. He laughs, "Asshole," dropping his phone somewhere on the bed to turn around to straddle Langa's hips, giving up on being able to watch anymore videos for the moment.
The change in positions effectively puts an end to Langa's onslaught of kisses. He takes the opportunity to ask, amused, "Weren't you about to fall asleep?"
The bastard just smirks at him, his eyes full of mirth, and responds, "Found something better to do."
Reki stares at him for a second, before shaking his head in fond exasperation, a smile etched onto his face. "You're impossible."
"And you're beautiful." Langa doesn't even give him a chance to deny the statement, kissing him straight on the lips like he had been starved for it, wrapping his arms around Reki's waist to pull him even closer.
Reki lets him have this one, melting into the embrace and burying his hands in Langa's hair.
He finds himself getting lost in the moment; the softness of the hair strands between his fingers, the way Langa's mouth moves against his, the speed at which his heart is racing, mirrored by the one below him, the hands sneaking beneath his shirt going up his back–
Everything stops suddenly.
A bit dazed, Reki opens his eyes only to come face to face with a spooked looking Langa. He's about to ask what happened when he registers where Langa's hands are resting.
Oh.
Now he understands the pain and discomfort he'd been feeling.
He forgot about the scars.
They'd been hurting the whole day because of the sudden decrease in temperature. Reki feels dumb for not noticing earlier.
Normally, not being reminded of them would be a good thing in Reki's book. But at this moment, it made him let his guard down and not stop Langa from touching his back, because...
He'd never told Langa about them.
It's not that Reki is ashamed of them, or even thinks Langa would be disgusted. Not really.
He just can't bear to have Langa's eyes, so full of pity and guilt, directed at him.
Reki honestly just wants to forget about them and move on.
He does forget about the scars most days, made easy due to the fact he can't see his back all that much in his day-to-day life. He can easily ignore them.
But whenever Langa slips an arm around him, puts his hand on the small of his back, leans against him from behind to rest his chin on his shoulder, sleeps over and unknowingly nestles against the place most scarred–
Reki is reminded.
Reminded of the fear that consumed him during the race. Of the deafening adrenaline that coursed through his veins. Of when it eventually faded and all he was left with was a searing pain in his back. Of the sound of his choked down sobs while tending to his wounds alone in the bathroom at 4 AM, trying not to wake up any of his family.
And reminded of what Adam did to him–to them–in the form of a mark permanently etched into his back.
So, Reki simply did his best to avoid showing his back to Langa, and also the conversation that would follow, altogether since that day.
He's also putting off showing it to his family as much as he can, but he knows they'll find out sooner or later. He just hopes that he can get away with saying it's really bad road rash.
He's not too confident on that, but he'll get there when he gets there.
Right now, he's more concerned with the way Langa is looking at him, all wide-eyed panic and concern, his hands burning an imprint where they had started tracing along the length of the scars.
Reki quickly backs up and grabs Langa's arms, pulling them away from him. Avoiding looking at Langa's face, he quietly says, "Please don't freak out."
He feels terrible.
"But, Reki, what–"
The panic he can hear in Langa's voice is the exact thing he wanted to avoid all this time. "It's not new."
"Then when?"
"When I raced Adam in the tournament."
Reki turns his face just in time to see the realization dawn on Langa's face. It doesn't last long before a worried expression fully settles in its place. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I mean, there wasn't much we could have done about it, Langa. What's the use in worrying about a little injury when you had to focus on your own race against Adam?"
Langa doesn't seem happy with his response, a frown coming over his face. He sits up more steadily against the wall, dislodging Reki farther down his lap. "A little injury? What if you got an infection, Reki? We could've gone to the hospital, or even just my mom!"
"And how would we explain it to her? Ah, so sorry to bother you at 4 AM Nanako-san, but could you please help me? I got really hurt when I raced this murderous guy down a cliff earlier."
With a heavy sigh, Langa buries his face in Reki's shirt. Hugging him closer, careful not to touch the place he now knows is covered in scars, he quietly says, "You should have still told me."
Reki hugs him back, slumping against him. "I know, I just– I didn't see the point in worrying you. Honest."
Langa doesn't respond to that. Reki doesn't push him to.
A silence stretches between them, Reki lost on what to say to dissolve the weird mood he accidentally caused. This really wasn't where he thought the night was going.
Suddenly, Reki feels Langa tighten the hug, a very quiet, "I'm sorry," spoken into his shirt.
"Huh?" Reki says, confused, because, if anyone should be saying sorry right now, it should be him. "For what?"
"I feel like if I'd never broken our promise–"
Reki doesn't let him finish. "No, stop that. I forgave you, and you forgave me." He moves back so he can cup Langa's face in his hands and look him in the eyes. "Me racing Adam had nothing to do with it." Leaning down, he kisses Langa before ending with, "You had nothing to do with it. I knew what I was getting myself into."
Even if Reki's actions managed to chase away the tenseness in his frame, Langa still looked pained. "...It was brutal, Reki."
He can imagine, if watching that gruesome scene through those big screens conveyed even half of what he felt in that moment. Reki lets out a sigh. "I know. Sorry you had to see it."
Langa, seemingly out of nowhere, seems to gain some energy back; he's suddenly ramrod straight, grabbing onto Reki's shoulders and looking at him intensely. "No. I would never leave you there to race Adam alone." His expression falls slightly, a somewhat dejected expression reflected in his frown. "I just wish I could've done something so you didn't get hurt like this."
Reki gives him a small smile. He feels lucky to have someone who cares so much about him in his life, even if they both know there wasn't much Langa could've done in this particular scenario. His heart still fills with renewed affection for this boy that so clearly wishes he could protect Reki from any harm possible.
He caresses Langa's cheek before kissing him softly, hopefully conveying even just a tiny bit of his feelings towards him.
When they separate, he says, "I'm sorry I kept this from you. I should have known it would've worried you more discovering them like this." Another quick peck for good measure. "I'll be better. Promise"
Langa hesitantly nods at first, but then, more surely, says, "Okay."
Reki's smile widens. "Okay."
They stare at each other for a bit, but Reki can see that Langa is clearly still debating with himself over something.
"What's on your mind, dude."
"Let me help with it?"
Reki will never get over Langa's ability to catch him off guard. "Huh?"
"You haven't been sleeping well because of the pain from the scars, right? Would a massage help?"
Reki can't help letting out a shocked laugh. "You know how to?"
Langa looks sheepish when he says, "My dad taught me a bit to loosen sore muscles after practice. It's not the same, but it should help."
God, Reki loves his boyfriend.
He's feeling okay at the moment, though. And as tempting as a massage is, it's getting pretty late. Langa was just about to fall asleep before they got carried away, too. "I'll take you up on that offer another day. I think you should sleep for now."
Reki receives a pout in response, but it quickly transforms into a yawn, betraying Langa's actual tiredness. "Reki..."
Laughing, Reki insists, "Yeah, we're sleeping." He lays down on the bed, dragging Langa along with him.
When they're comfortably snuggled under the blankets, Langa quietly speaks into his place nestled in Reki's neck, "You did look really cool on that race though."
Reki sighs in fond exasperation, and gives him a kiss on the top of his head. "Have you ever seen yourself racing?"
Langa hums. "Yeah, but I prefer looking at you."
Reki blows a bit of air into Langa's hair, just to annoy him. He succeeds, based on the huff Langa exhales. "You're such a sap."
Chuckling, Langa responds, "I love you."
It still takes Reki's breath away to hear Langa say it, despite it being far from the first time he's spoken those words to him.
"I love you too, you dork. Now go to sleep. I'm taking you out tomorrow as an apology."
Reki feels the smile form on Langa's lips where they're still resting next to his collarbones. "Okay. It's a date."
Laying here, after all is said and done, Reki can sense a weight that he didn't know existed lift from his shoulders. It feels good to finally tell Langa about this.
He should've known. Langa makes everything easier. Reki's past self should have relied on him more, should have known that Langa would hate for him to suffer alone.
He trusts Langa. With his whole being.
Reki will make sure to never forget that fact again.