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Janis sat at the kitchen island, taking deep breaths, Karen’s hand on her back. She’d been having a fun time with Regina, but it seemed to Janis like there were three million kids in the basement and she’d needed to escape, if only for a few moments. Kyle’s parents were elsewhere, so with just Janis and Karen in the room, the kitchen was eerily silent. But the quiet was good and Janis felt her mind slowing down.
Then Regina hurried in. She walked right up to Janis, a huge smile on her face. Janis grinned back. Most people, she wouldn’t let this near her, but Regina was different. Her and Regina got close all the time, cuddling and whispering, lips close to one another’s faces. So Janis didn’t suspect anything when Regina’s lips levelled with hers. And then Regina kissed her. Regina kissed her and Janis was so surprised and confused that she didn’t do anything about it at first. Just stood there. And then she pulled away.
Regina blinked, as if surprised by her own actions. She backed away a bit and Janis followed her. And then Regina got close again, her breath tickling Janis’ nose. Her heart thudded in her chest. She was so confused, because. Well Regina was straight, right? But in that moment, none of those thoughts were coherent enough for her to do anything about. So Janis just laughed, “What? Do you want another one?” There was no way Regina would do it again.
And Regina kissed her again. And Janis would be lying if she said she didn’t like it a little bit. It was Regina George, for god’s sake. The kiss lasted longer this time. Regina seemed to really want it, as if she was hungry for more. And Janis couldn’t cope with that. So she pulled away. As soon as they broke away, Regina practically ran from the room. Janis swallowed, chest tight.
Janis wiped her mouth and turned to Karen, a bit helplessly.
Karen frowned and whispered, “Are you okay?”
Janis just nodded. And then, “She wasn’t even good. She kept biting me.”
“Oh,” was all Karen said.
“Janis, can I talk to you?”
Janis, who had been about to enter the bathroom, turned to see the surprisingly remorseful face of Regina George.
“Um, okay.”
Next thing she knew, Janis was being dragged into the bathroom. Regina locked the door.
“I’m so sorry JanJan. I feel so bad. I took your first kiss,” Regina’s lip quivered.
“It’s okay,” Janis smiled, “You’re my friend. I don’t mind.”
“But I feel so guilty JanJan,” a tear rolled down Regina’s cheek.
Janis shook her head, “Don’t. It’s fine.”
Regina kept crying, “Janis, did I assault you?”
“No,” replied Janis, surprised, “No, no. Of course not.”
Regina sniffed, “Hug?”
Janis smiled and opened her arms. Regina felt familiar and safe, but there was something else now, something wrong. Something Janis couldn’t quite place. But Regina was straight. She hadn’t wanted to kiss Janis. Nothing was different. So Janis just buried her face in Regina’s hair, taking in the familiar smell.
Regina texted Janis later that night;
reggie 💖: ly janjan. gn 💕
janjan 💖: lyt reg. gn ❤️
And Janis fell asleep with a smile on her face.
So imagine her surprise, when she walked through the school halls the next day and no one spoke to her. No one even looked at her. They just hurried past, staring at the floor. Damian approached her with a troubled expression. “Damian, what’s going on?” asked Janis in a small voice.
Damian looked across the hall, to where Regina was standing, whispering to Gretchen and Karen, “I think you better ask her that question.”
Janis approached Regina, twisting her hands nervously. But Janis didn’t even need to ask. Because as soon as she got close enough she heard her, “And I knew she would let me kiss her. Because she’s like, totally obsessed with me. She even sends me red hearts when she texts.”
Janis stared, horrified. All she managed was a strangled whisper, “Regina?”
Regina stared back at her, a cold expression on her face. Gretchen seemed to be agreeing with Regina, but then again she always did. Karen had a kind of troubled expression on her face, like she didn’t really believe what Regina was saying. Janis hoped she didn’t. She’d witnessed it.
“Everyone come and say hello to Sissy Lez,” said Regina, proudly placing ‘Sissy Lez’ on the table in front of her as she slid into her seat and got her English books out. Janis felt bile rise in her throat as she stared at the plushie. The plushie with the pride pin on it. The pride pin that Janis had given Regina when she’d come out. Janis breathed out shakily and looked away.
“Come on everyone, pet Sissy Lez, please. Isn’t she just sooo cute?” Why was she doing this? Why would she not stuff the plushie away in the closet, like Janis had done with hers, along with everything else that was associated with Regina.
“Come on, Kyle,” prompted Regina, as her new boyfriend walked past.
Kyle glanced at Janis sideways, “Regina…just leave it.” He sounded tired. He almost smiled apologetically at Janis. Almost. Instead he kind of just smiled sadly at the floor.
Regina went about like that for months, always placing the plushie at the front of her desk and drawing attention to it. Everyone got tired of it, even the teachers, who would watch it warily as it sat there. But no one stopped giving it its due attention. Somehow, Regina had managed to make everyone scared of her.
The name ‘Sissy Lez’ had been bothering Janis for months and she finally realised why, one fateful chemistry lesson. Regina had forced someone to come up and say hello to the plushie. “Isn’t she so cute?” asked Regina, “I’m literally obsessed with her.” The cogs in Janis’ brain began to turn as soon as Regina said that. Obsessed. Sissy Lez. Sissy. Obsessed. Sissy Lez. Obsessed Lesbian. Oh fuck no.
Face burning, Janis turned on Regina, practically growling “What the actual fuck, Regina? You already ruined our friendship for a smelly as fuck boy and now you’re going around making everyone greet the obsessed lesbian! It seems more like you’re the one obsessed with me, to be honest. And you put that pin on the plushie yourself, don’t you fucking forget.” Before Regina could even sneer her reply, Janis grabbed the burning Bunsen burner from Regina’s desk, where she’d been doing a practical with Kyle. And she set that cursed plushie on fire.
Safe to say, Janis was expelled. For the rest of that year and the following summer, Janis’ parents enrolled her in extensive therapy. And if Janis was honest with herself, she really needed it. But she wasn’t. Honest with herself. So she kicked and screamed and still went. And the only people who ever knew the true story apart from those thousands of therapists were Damian and Karen. And they never told anyone and they never talked about it. Until Cady…
Until Cady, every time Damian brought it up, Janis would bitterly tell him that it was Regina’s choice if she wanted to keep on pretending. And for three years Regina did. Keep on pretending.