Work Text:
“You are awful when intoxicated,” Y’shtola sighed. She shook her head and took another sip of the wine in her glass.
“I’m certain I haven’t the slightest in what you’re referring to.” Thancred shrugged his shoulders, setting down his tankard onto the wooden table the group currently sat around.
They had all successfully returned to their own bodies just a few days prior. The scions saw fit to having a little celebration of sorts. Except Alisaie and Alphinaud of course. They may have technically aged a year, but they still weren’t old enough to partake in alcohol. So they were given a fancy fruit juice to drink instead. Much to Alisaie’s disappointment.
Thancred, seemingly having a blast, had decided to regale the group with his conquest in the First. His female conquest.
A subject change was definitely in order.
“There is something that hath always bothered me.”
Urianger wobbled ever so slightly in his chair. His hand was wrapped firmly around his own tankard and his words slurred slightly together. It was surprising that such a large man could barely hold his liquor. But then, the man rarely if ever drank. Usually convinced by Thancred to join the group.
All eyes were now silently on him; curious as to what the scholar might say.
He took another gulp of his drink before fixing his blurring gaze across the table onto a certain blue haired hero.
“Where didst thou gain thy moniker?”
Glowing blue eyes blinked in mild confusion, a bit uncertain as to what the Elezen was asking. Before he could even mumble a confused reply, Y’shtola perked up at the question.
“Yes,” she said. A small smile graced her lips at this. “I admit I too am quite curious as to the answer.”
The sudden slamming of a mug onto the large table drew attention away from the obviously confused hero and onto a red head that had recently joined their little family.
“What’s it matter?” He slurred heavily. Apparently, even though the Crystal Exarch was accustomed to alcohol, the body of a one G’raha Tia was very much not. And as such, he was as drunk as Urianger. “He’s a hero! His name is completely irrelevant!”
Various head shakes and sighs consumed the group around the table. A certain dragoon, not taking part in the little drinking party, stood off to the side, leaning heavily against the wall. He scoffed at G’raha’s drunkenness and spoke up himself.
“You have to admit, it’s not a common name for an Au Ra.”
“But it is intriguing,” Alisaie added.
Alphinaud decided to chime in. “I’ve often wondered how it came into existence. After all, it doesn’t follow any traditional Au Ra naming conventions we’ve encountered throughout our journey in Othard.”
Resigned to his fate, the tanned hero sighed heavily and lowered his gaze to the half full tankard sitting just in front of him. “That’s because I’m not from Othard at all.”
“Oh?” It seemed he had gained Y’shtola’s full attention at this point. “Do tell.”
“I’d rather not,” he grumbled in reply. Taking a swig of his drink, he continued to keep his glowing blue eyes focused on the mug. “It’s a pretty stupid story.”
“Come now,” Thancred said. He leaned against the table, resting his chin on his balled up fist as he fixed the hero in place. “Grimmy Cakes is such a unique name.”
The Au Ra groaned heavily as he allowed his head to roll back to stare at the ceiling above. They clearly weren’t about to let this go. Another heavier sigh, and he returned his gaze to the table’s curious occupants. He resisted the urge to cross his arms petulantly. Instead, he figured he’d get this over with. Quickly.
“I’m apparently from Thavnair.”
Various colored eyebrows shot up at that admission. Estinien however looked unsurprised. Course not much surprised the dragoon.
“And what’s that mean?” Alisaie snapped lightly. “How are you apparently from a place? Either you are or you aren’t.”
Instead of Grimmy answering her brash questions, G’raha did in his place. “You’re an orphan.”
He nodded, his small braid bouncing lightly with the move. It’s not something he liked to discuss very often and preferred to keep secret. People tended to look at him differently the moment they discovered the truth. He didn’t want nor need anyone’s pity. He was just like everyone else. So what if he didn’t have traditional parents like-
His thoughts were abruptly cut off by a nudge at his side. A quick glance revealed Alphinaud had bumped him in order to bring him out of his reverie. The blunet gave a small smile at the young Elezen.
“I was apparently stowed away on a fisherman’s boat when I was just a babe.” His hands wrapped around the mostly empty tankard on the table and his gaze fell to stare deeply into the contents. “I obviously don’t remember it, but Sajadeen, the fisherman that found me, said he found me hidden among a crate of expensive fabrics headed for Eorzean markets. So he felt that their intent was to send me to one of the three major cities here.”
“An obvious conclusion,” Y’shtola said. “However I can’t fathom why they would do such a thing in the first place.” His gaze finally lifted to meet hers. “Thavnair has a treaty of sorts with Garlemald. I imagine there isn’t any in-fighting either.”
“Food was Sajadeen’s guess,” Grimmy replied. “He surmised that I likely came from the small fishing village of Akyaali.”
“Small is one way to put it,” Estinien scoffed. He had recently traversed the entire island, so naturally he was well acquainted with its layout. A few curious stares reached him and he elaborated. “There were maybe four, or five huts altogether. Very close knit village. However I don’t recall seeing any Au Ra, let alone any that resembled you. Mostly Arkasodara and a few Hyur here and there.”
Grimmy chuckled lightly at this. “I’m 23 years of age Estinien. A lot can happen in that time.” His birth parents were likely deceased. An idea he accepted as fact long ago. It wasn’t entirely unheard of for fishermen to die at sea.
“Alright then,” Alisaie said. “It still doesn’t explain your unusual name. I may not know much about the area, but I’m fairly certain Grimmy doesn’t follow Thavnairian naming conventions.”
A sigh. “It does not.” The hero lowered his gaze to his drink once more. He had hoped to distract them enough that they would forget their original objective. Damn Alisaie and her persistence.
“Come now!” G’raha smiled. He had just chugged the rest of his drink and was looking awfully happy about all this. “It honestly can’t be that bad of a story.”
Oh but it was.
The Au Ra’s shoulders drooped. They definitely were not going to let this go anytime soon.
“Sajadeen raised me for a short while,” he continued. All eyes were on him once more, curiosity piqued at what he would possibly say next. “When I was around five or six, he brought me to Eorzea. From there I was essentially passed off to another fisherman in Limsa. Sajadeen was getting older and wanted to retire as it were. So he felt then was as good a time as any to dump me elsewhere.”
His head suddenly lifted and tilted back so that he could stare mindlessly at the ceiling as he spoke. “That fisherman wasn’t exactly the best father figure. Swynahrm was his name. He was a dirty, perverted, drunkard. Most days were filled with hard work, but come night, it was a party every time with his small crew. Drinking, music, and dancing. That’s what I had to look forward to every day the sun went down and the moon shone bright in the sky. It quickly became exhausting.”
Grimmy suddenly groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face before turning his gaze back to the group still listening to his story intently.
“And then one night…”
“Swynahrm,” the young Auri boy said as he approached the large Roegadyn. The man was currently two tankards deep into his drinking that night. “Where do you want these?” The boy held a few empty buckets in his small arms. He couldn’t have been more than ten years of age.
“Boy,” the Roegadyn slurred. “Can’t ya see the work is done? It’s time to sit back, relax, enjoy a drink or two!”
The boy’s face scrunched up at the thought of drinking something that smelled awful on its best day. “I’m way too young to be drinking,” he said instead.
“Ah bollocks,” the man swore. “We’re out at sea! The law doesn’t apply out here!”
“I don’t think that’s how it works…” The child mumbled.
“Honestly boss,” an equally drunk Hyur suddenly chimed in. “Kid really needs a name.” Various shouts echoed the statement around him. “It’s been a few years now. We really can’t keep calling him kid or boy.”
“I s’pose yer all right.” Swynahrm sat for a moment, then two, chin clasped in deep thought. “How ‘bout Merlzirn?”
The boy’s face immediately scrunched up into his usual grimace. It had become something of a trademark at this point with how often he did it and how often it was typically directed at the fisherman.
“Why ya always makin’ that face?” the Hyur from before asked.
“Wassit called again?” the fisherman wondered aloud. “A gri… grim… grimmy…”
“It’s a grimace boss!” This time a Lalafell spoke up.
“Right a grimace.” And then Swynahrm suddenly sat upright and smiled brightly at the Au Ra child. “That’s it then! From here on we’ll call you Grimmy!”
“Please gods no,” the boy sighed heavily.
But that was it. His name had been decided for him.
“No,” Y’shtola all but laughed, highly amused.
The blunet nodded just before draining the rest of his mug and slamming it down, a tad harshly, onto the wooden table. “No matter how much I protested, they kept calling me that. For years . By then, it had stuck and I found myself referring to that as my name.”
“So then Cakes?” Thancred pressed. He was quite clearly amused with this outcome and knew the hero’s last name likely also had a ridiculous reason behind it too.
At this Grimmy actually growled. “I’m not good at coming up with stuff on the spot okay.”
“Wait,” Alisaie said. Choking back a laugh, she continued. “So then you gave yourself-”
“I panicked alright!?” he snapped, anger rising. “It was right after I arrived in Gridania. I hadn’t even registered with the Lancer’s guild yet for training. I was hounded to go register as an adventurer with Miounne. When she asked for a full name I panicked. I didn’t have a last name so I blurted the first thing I saw.”
“And that just so happened to be Cakes?” Estinien wasn’t even trying to hide his pure glee with the warrior’s tale.
“There was a small Elezen girl two tables over indulging herself,” he bit out. “I’d like to see you come up with some amazing and heroic name in seconds.”
The dragoon looked a bit sheepish at that, knowing he too would flounder just as their hero had.
With the tale now told, the group fell silent. It was ridiculous and painful and gods he wished Urianger had simply kept his drunken mouth shut. But it was too late to turn back.
“I had forgotten when we first met you were studying to be a dragoon,” Alphinaud mused aloud.
Grimmy could have laughed at the more than obvious subject change. More than anything though, he was grateful for it. Leave it to the younger boy to keep his dignity intact.
“Oh that’s right!” Y’shtola perked up. “I remember you being rather awful at it. So much healing needed.”
The Au Ra’s cheeks flushed at this. Of course she would tease him at each and every turn. She clearly delighted in torturing him.
“I don’t remember asking you for pointers.” He eyed the Miqo’te and decided to press her back. “Not that you’d be able to give any of course. Too busy staying out of the thick of it casting your silly little magicks.”
Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly at the warrior. “As I recall, those silly magicks kept you alive on more than one occasion.”
“Children please,” G’raha interjected. Which earned him a couple dark glares, but the man paid it no mind. “Doesn’t matter what he studied initially. His current profession is the important one. And I daresay he excels at it.”
“Must be his Thavnairian blood,” Alisaie added. Her tone was much too cheery.
But it was true. Some months ago, before this whole journey into the First, Grimmy had found himself in Limsa. He couldn’t really remember why exactly he was there, but he stumbled across Nashmeira and Troupe Falsiam. He had been entranced by their skill and demanded she teach him. She was reluctant at first, but agreed after his persistence. And ever since then he’d been honing his skills as a dancer.
Alisaie was likely right in that it was his blood that gave him a strong aptitude for the job. He had picked up the skills so easily and so quickly that even Mistress Nashmeira was impressed. Course, she was under the impression that he was from Eorzea and not Thavnair where the job had originated from.
“As amusing as this all is.” Urianger pulled the Au Ra from his quiet musings. Grimmy watched as he swayed slightly when he lifted a single finger into the air. “Tis our duty to keep this tale a well guarded secret.”
“I agree,” Thancred added. “It would do us no good for the whole of the Eorzea to discover their beloved warrior of light is named after a drunken man’s slurred speech.”
“Yes, I imagine his public image would fall drastically should such a thing occur.” Y’shtola’s words may have been kind, but the smile on her face was anything but. She had no interest in the hero saving face. She clearly wanted to keep such an entertaining story all to herself.
“You’re all the worst,” the blunet groaned softly. He buried his embarrassed face in his hands. He couldn’t find the strength to make eye contact with any of them.
“Don’t worry, Grimmy ,” Alphinaud said. He over-enunciated his name to the point he was clearly having a laugh about it all. “Your awful secret is safe with us.”
Even Alphinaud! The one person he felt he could count on in all of this, was openly harassing him. Grimmy groaned louder as he tried desperately to bury his face ever deeper into his large hands. It was no use however.
“I, for one, like the name Grimmy.”
This caused the hero’s glowing blue eyes to peek out above the tips of his fingers. G’raha… Perhaps he did have one comrade on his side after all. Before he could say anything to the red head, a very drunk Elezen decided his two gil were very much needed in that moment.
“I’d expect no less,” he said. “After all, back in the First thou didst say-”
But he wasn’t given the chance to finish as Alisaie’s juice was suddenly flung into the man’s face. Urianger sat for a moment, dumbfounded at what just took place. G’raha was on his feet, still clutching the glass tightly.
“I was still drinking that,” Alisaie growled.
G’raha paid her no mind and instead set the glass back down and walked around the table. He none too gently grabbed Urianger’s arm and began tugging at it to get him to stand. When he did, he led the Elezen away from the table and toward the washroom likely to clean him up.
“Oh I’m so sorry,” G’raha blatantly lied as he led him away. “My hand just slipped all of sudden.”
The rest of the room was quite confused by the sudden, bizarre behavior of the Miqo’te. Well except Thancred and Y’shtola. They wore knowing looks and went back to their drinks.
“Well that was entertaining,” she said, sipping at her wine in the process.
“He should know better,” Thancred sighed. “Urianger is awful at keeping secrets after a drink or two.” Grimmy voiced everyone’s obvious confusion, but the Hyuran man shrugged it off. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually.”
“Fine, be cryptic,” Grimmy mumbled under his breath.
He lifted his tankard to his lips only to come up empty. Right, he had chugged the rest divulging his life’s ultimate secret. Looks like he’d need some more. He reached across the table for the pitcher of ale and poured himself another glass.
“This is your fault.” Alisaie appeared to still be sulking. Her angry gaze met his and the hero actually felt himself shrink away ever so slightly. “Get me more."
A nod later and he was out of his seat to retrieve more juice for the prickly Elezen.
At least with this they had finally dropped the topic of his name. He had no doubts this was far from the last of the teasing, but for now, he could go back to enjoying his drinks with the others. Until he inevitably drank too much and wanted to fight the sun in the morning. But that was a problem for future Grimmy.
