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It was like any other night in the city. I was sitting on the roof of a building like I always did, waiting for crime. And as usual, I was feeling lonely. While the cool night breeze was hitting my mask, I felt chills and shivered, but that couldn’t pull me out of my deep thoughts. I was thinking about how many mistakes I’ve made, and how many people I have lost because of my mistakes. This was how most of my nights went.
It had already been 5 months since Gwen died, and every time I think about it, I blame myself. I knew I should’ve made sure she got to safety, but I didn’t do that. Instead, I allowed her to stay, and that caused her to die. Not only did I have to watch my girlfriend die, but I broke a promise in the process. When Captain Stacy died, I promised him that I would stay away from Gwen, for her own safety. And I tried many times, but I couldn't leave her for good. Every time I broke things off with her, I would end up crawling right back to her. I was selfish, and she lost her life because of that.
Of course, she was not the only person I lost. My parents left at an early age and the plane crash took their lives. There was nothing I could have done to prevent that one, but there was a family member I lost that I easily could have prevented the death of: Ben. I still miss him every day, and so does May. Seeing her miss him every day hurts so much, especially knowing I could have stopped it. If only I-
My thoughts were cut off as I saw a streak of white hair shining bright in the moonlight pass by below, and I instantly knew who it was. The Black Cat was running across a rooftop, with a bag of most likely stolen diamonds or money over her shoulder. I got up, let out a sigh, and shot a web, beginning to web swing behind her.
Black Cat was… interesting. She was drop-dead gorgeous. She had a perfect body and an incredibly beautiful face. She was also awfully flirty. I truthfully can’t tell if she does it to distract me and get away or if she genuinely has a crush on me. I know it’s probably the former, but even if it was the latter, things wouldn’t be so easy. It’s not like I can just date her. She is a criminal after all. Even if she wasn’t, I would still have to keep her away because, with my line of work, I am learning it is best to keep others away, for their safety. Losing Gwen taught me that if you love something, you do truly have to let it go. After all, if I let her go, she would still be living, making the world a better place.
I’ve been running into Black Cat for about a month and a half now, once or twice a week. Every encounter was the same. I’d catch her, she would flirt with me, and then get away. I was quite frankly getting sick and tired of it. This was mostly because I would love to act on her offers, but I know I can’t. She doesn’t quit easily with her advances either. She’s relentless with her seduction tactics. She will get close and press her body against mine, making sure I can feel her breasts. She also breathes so closely to my face that I can feel the warmth of her breath, even through the fabric of my mask. Her outfit was something to behold. It perfectly showed off her figure, from both her front and back sides. She was also funny, kind (kinda, she doesn’t hurt anyone), and genuinely fun to be around. As long as I didn’t think about love and the sad fact that as Spider-Man I can't have that, I enjoy chasing her.
Obviously, I caught her. She always learns from her past mistakes and proves to be more of a challenge the next time we meet, but I’m always able to prevail. The thing with her I have learned is that webbing her up is no good because she will escape before the cops arrive, and I also don’t need to do that to get her to stay in place. All I need to do is talk to her. So, that’s what I did.
“Wow, you caught me again Spider. Are you sure you’re not gonna web me up this time?” she asked in her trademark seductive tone.
“We both know you’d just get away before the cops show up.”
She got close to me and ran a finger along my jawline as she said “Why leave me for the cops when you can bring me to your place.” Her eyes were filled with lust.
Not even a minute into the conversation she was already flirting with me. I am beginning to think the point is to get me all flustered and since she knows it works, she continues to do so. I’m so tired of it. It just feels like God is teasing me by showing me something I’ll never be able to have. Like always, I will try to diffuse the situation because I need to be responsible, and like most times, it will probably just end with a smoke bomb exploding in my face and me coughing up a storm as she escapes.
I used my hand to remove hers from my jaw (softly, of course, I am a gentleman after all). “Ha ha, very funny Cat.” I said as dryly as possible, hoping she would maybe stop. This, of course, would end up backfiring on me. This just made things worse.
“I know you enjoy our chases just as much as I do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t participate in them. You can tell me that you're addicted to that rush of adrenaline just like I am. And I know you definitely don’t mind getting to see this pretty face and beautiful body.” She then got all up in my personal space and placed both her hands on my chest. As she did this, she whispered into my ear “I know you want me, just admit it.”
She was correct about basically everything she said, but I know that I can’t be with her. However, being this close to her made me want to be selfish and take her for myself. But I can’t, for her own safety. I’ve learned that the hard way.
I took a step back to separate us and said “I’m uhhh, just doing my job of keeping the city safe, someone has to pick up the NYPD’s slack, y’know.” I tried to play it cool but was not succeeding well. I was already having trouble coming up with what to say, and the temperature in my mask suddenly felt like a tropical beach from the bullets I was sweating.
She approached again, but this time she slowly walked around me as she spoke. “I can see right through you Spider. I know you can feel your loneliness float away and your body stiffen up when you catch me.” Now standing behind me, she grabbed my shoulders and put her face close to mine. She looked down and then back at my face with a smug smirk as she said “I know a certain part is always stiff, like right now.”
I can’t even lie, she was right. I was as hard as a rock. This happens so often when I’m around her that I don’t even realize when it’s happening anymore. I hate that she knows how she makes me feel, and I am angry at my body every time it betrays me and shows her my cravings.
I stepped away after I awkwardly looked down at my crotch. I could feel my body temperature rise. But, I had to keep myself composed, so I told her “Like I said, I’m just trying to protect the city.”
I waited for her response but all she did was laugh. After a few moments, she said “How noble and selfless of you.” in a sarcastic tone. It was very clear that she was mocking me. She then continued. “How does it feel to be so lonely while you save the entire city? she asked in her teasing tone.
This question kind of surprised me. It completely hit me harder than I expected. Because of this question, I was now wrestling with my emotions again like I do every other night. I was suddenly feeling even bluer than I did before.
Another big problem I faced with my emotions was that I had none to vent to about them. I can’t let May know I’m Spider-Man, she would freak out and worry about me even more than she already does. So I always have to bury these feelings deep inside.
I didn’t want her to know she was correct, so I said “Well, I’m not all alone.” This was technically not a lie, but at the same time it was.
Her ears perked up and a surprised look now formed on her face. “Oh really? Who is the lucky girl?” She was very clearly interested, and probably jealous at the thought of someone else having me. Luckily for her, that jealousy was about to go away.
I could have lied, but I truthfully told her “No, I’m not talking about a relationship like that. What I meant was that I do still have my aunt. I still live with her, so I’m not all alone, y’know.”
The look on her face was a bit different now, it showed some confusion. Usually, she oozes confidence, but now, not so much. When she talked about being lonely, she was referring to not having a romantic partner, but now she was probably starting to realize that I don’t have much of a family anymore.
She became less teasing and more serious as she said “That’s sweet, but you are still single. Why’s that?”
“I’m too busy for love.”
She took this opportunity to return to teasing me and said “Busy guy? Huh, here I was thinking I had you all to myself. I’m surprised, you seem more like the type of guy to settle down with a girl instead of having fun with many.”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m talking about fighting crime.” I was slightly annoyed that she would think that that’s the type of guy I am.
“Calm down Spider, I’m just teasing you. You don’t seem like that type of guy. But tell me, why don’t you want to have a relationship?” She clearly wanted to know the reasons why I remained single.
“It’s too dangerous, I know from experience.” I said as I looked down at my feet. My mind was beginning to fill with the image of Gwen’s lifeless carcass.
“What happened? Had a bad experience? Still suffering from a bad heartbreak, and now you’re questioning everything you thought you knew about love?” She didn’t ask in a sarcastic tone. She genuinely looked curious about why I was so adamant about being alone.
Maybe it was because I couldn’t tell anyone about how it happened. After all, no one knew I was Spider-Man, but I ended up explaining to her how it occurred. I figured maybe being able to vent and get it off my chest would make me feel a little better, and Cat was truthfully the only one I could vent to. “It was a terrible experience, but not a breakup. The last girl I dated, well, I couldn’t save. She ended up… dying in my arms” I said as I fought back tears.
Her eyes widened. She looked shocked. “I’m sorry to hear that. What happened? Were you fighting a villain and she was close by?” There was a surprising amount of sincerity in her voice.
“Yeah. I was fighting my best friend who turned evil in a clock tower and he dropped her. I tried to save her, but I was too late.”
The fun and games were over. She looked sad as I told her this. She felt bad for me, I could see it in her eyes. Soon her hand was on my shoulder, in an attempt to comfort me.
She spoke softly. “It’s not your fault Spider, you-“
I cut her off as I said “It was my job to save her, and I failed. I’m a failure.”
Her facial expression grew sadder as she heard how I felt about myself. “Spider, just because you couldn’t save her doesn’t mean you failed. You tried your best to save her, I know you did. Just because you didn’t succeed doesn’t mean you failed. And don’t you ever call yourself a failure. You’ve done more good for this city than anyone else has or probably ever will.”
I kept my monotone and looked into her warm eyes. “I appreciate the kind words, but I shouldn’t have even been with her. Her dad was the police captain and he died saving me. In his final breath, he made me promise to keep her out of my business. But we wound up continuing to date, and that made her a target and eventually got her killed, so I broke my promise and failed them both.”
“Did she know she was dating Spider-Man?”
“Yeah, she knew.” I mumbled.
“Then you have to cut yourself some slack. She knew what she was getting herself into by dating a superhero, So you shouldn’t put all the blame on yourself. It’s really not your fault.” she told me in her sweet voice.
“I-I wish I could believe that, but… I can’t. If I just kept my promise and stopped seeing her she would’ve been ok”
She placed her right hand on my cheek. Her eyes grew even softer, more inviting. Her voice was more compassionate as she said “You need to stop blaming yourself. You can’t keep yourself hung up on the past and think about what you could’ve done differently. That’s no way to live.”
‘I- *sigh*” I walked away from her and turned around to sit on the ledge of the building. “You can go Cat,-” I knew this would be a long night, one consumed by the classic feud of me vs my emotions, and that’s a battle I tend to take alone. I would hate to make her deal with my problems, so I figured there was no point in her staying to witness it.
She took a seat next to me and placed her arm around my upper body. “No, you need someone to listen to you right now.” She looked at me with a welcoming smile. She wanted me to open up. She wanted to listen. She wanted to… be there for me?
The tears that had been forming in my eyes were now about to begin flowing, like water from a dam with a whole it. Maybe it was because I hadn’t been able to vent about all of this to anyone, or just the look of compassion on her face, but I took my mask off and buried my face into her shoulder and cried. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this job. But, I have to, I realized when I took my 5-month break how much this city needs me. It’s just… this job is so hard. Everyone I've ever cared about is gone. My parents, my best friend, my girlfriend, my uncle Ben. The only person I have left is my aunt, and with the amount of work she’s taking to keep us afloat, I’m worried something will happen to her."
She caressed the back of my head as she said “Of course you can keep going, you’re Spider-Man. There’s no one else that can do the things you do. You’ve been through so much, but you keep getting up, and that’s not going to stop. And you’re not all alone. You still have your aunt, and… I’ll always be here for you” Cat could tell that I’ve been holding this all back for so long, and she really wanted to help me to get it all out.
Her words were nice, and I probably did need her, but I’m a danger. I don’t want her life to end up like Gwen’s because she decided to date an idiotic superhero, one that still hasn’t learned how to be responsible. “I-I don't want you here, I care too much about you, and if you are with me... I'll probably end up losing you too.” I said into her suit between whimpers.
I could hear the surprise in her tone. “So that’s why you never accept my offers, because you’re afraid of losing me? You won’t lose me. I can handle myself, so you don’t have to worry about anything bad happening to me. And I still have all 9 lives left.” she told me, joking at the end. She was holding my head with one hand while rubbing my back in circular motions with her other to put me at ease.
I smiled slightly at her joke but still was unsure. I wanted to believe her, but I still felt like I shouldn’t risk it. When I thought about putting her in danger, the water in my eyes continued and I couldn’t come up with a response.
She continued to try to make me feel better as she said “You’ve saved so many people, you can’t keep thinking about the few you didn’t even if they were close to you. And it’s time someone saves you. I can save you from this lonely world you live in, I can be the one to help you, and show you that you can love again.”
She probably finally felt my tears on her latex suit, because she said “Here, let me get those for you” as she pulled me out of her shoulder. In doing this, she saw my face. She saw my ruffled brown hair, my jawline with a few scars from my latest supervillain encounter, and the enormous bags under my eyes from all the restless nights of crying in my bed. She already understood the toll my job as Spider-Man has taken on me from what I said, but now with my face visible, she understood it even more.
Her eyes were wide and her mouth opened up, ready to let out a gasp. “Oh my god, you look so young. How old are you?” she asked.
“19” I responded quietly. I would have tried to conceal my face before she could see it, but at this point, it wouldn’t make sense to. I’ve already been so vulnerable with her, and I was starting to feel a bit better.
The shock became more evident on her face. She couldn’t believe my age. I can’t blame her, who would’ve thought the hero saving this city would just be a teen? She definitely didn’t. She probably expected a guy in his mid-twenties, with a beard even. Not a teen. But judging by the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes, she didn’t seem disappointed. I assume she didn’t mind that I was presumably younger than her, or the boyish good looks I had.
She looked happy as she wiped the tears from under my eyes and then brought my head close to her chest. She held me tight, but in a comforting way as she told me “You’re so young. No one should ever have to experience the horrible things you have, especially at your age. But you have, and you never gave up, so why should you now? And I know it can get tough. I um, I lost my father when I was young, but that hasn’t stopped me. I was able to keep going, so I know you can too, and I’ll be here to get you through it all.”
“So you- you really will be here for me? You wanna… help, me?” I asked with a shaky voice as I looked up at her.
She took me out of her chest and brought me into a kiss. A slow, passionate, loving kiss. I could truly feel the love coming from her as our tongues intertwined. One of her hands caressed the side of my face while the other was playing with my hair during the kiss.
All of this was very unexpected. I didn’t plan on opening up to anyone about all the trauma I faced because I never thought I would be able to love as Spider-Man. And I definitely didn’t think the flirty cat burglar I’ve been crushing on would be so caring. I thought if I was lucky, we could have a friends-with-benefits type of relationship, but nothing serious. I guess this black cat brought good luck since I was able to finally open up about my emotions and find a lover.
After we pulled away, she smiled at me and answered my question with her words, even though I knew what she would say because of her actions. “Yeah. I’ll always be here for you. I really care about you. Our chases are always the highlights of my week, and I wouldn’t flirt with you so much if I didn’t want you.”
“I care about you too, like I said. I was just scared to pursue you because of, well-”
“I know. But now you know that you have nothing to worry about.” She stopped to fix a stray hair of mine and then continued. “It’s kinda funny, the first night you caught me I was hoping we’d end up together, but I wanted you to keep the mask on for a little while since I was initially drawn to you because of the mystery of who could be under it, But now that I got to see your cute face, it’s gonna be hard for me to see you with the mask on.”
“Well, you still don’t know who I am.” I pointed out.
“All I’m missing is a name, care to share it?” she asked.
“My name’s Peter Parker, what about you?”
She smiled. “I’m Felicia Hardy.”
“Do I get to see you without your mask?” I asked.
Before she could answer, we both heard sirens approaching. She stood up and spoke. “Those are probably for me. You wanna get out of here, head to my place, maybe? You’ll be able to see me maskless there.”
I put my mask back on and also took a vertical base as I said “Lead the way.” and offered her my hand.
She grabbed it and swung us over to her penthouse. She didn’t even bother to bring the bag of contraband back with her since she had her hands on something more valuable. It didn’t take long for us to land on the balcony of her luxurious abode. She unlocked the door as I followed. After it was opened, I entered behind her and removed my mask.
We were in the kitchen. She took her mask off and then opened the door to her bedroom. She grabbed my hand and pulled me in, then pinned me against the wall as she laid kisses along my neck. Then she gave me an ardent kiss on the lips, so intense we were both gasping for air.
Once she was done having her fun with me against the wall, she threw me onto the bed and got on top of me, and played with me the same way she did when I was under her power. However this time it wouldn’t last long, as I would soon flip our positions. As I was now on top, I treated her the same way she had treated me.
Our kisses only grew in intensity, and our makeout session would be filled with us swapping positions and breathing heavily as our tongues dueled within each other's mouths. Trails of warm saliva would constantly be dripping down each other’s necks from the sucking of them. By the end of the session, we would both be gasping for air as we lay on the bed.
I would look over at the alarm clock and see it was 11:15. It was late, and May was probably getting worried. So, I got ready to go back home. I turned back to Felicia and said “I uh, should probably get going now. I don’t want my aunt to worry about me.”
She gave me a small kiss on my nose and asked “OK, same time tomorrow, or will I have to go to your doorstep to find you?”
“How are you gonna find where I live?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow.
I have my ways, but you never answered my question.”
“Same rooftop tomorrow night around 7 is good for me.” I give her one last kiss and then get going. I was about to walk onto the balcony, but then I remembered something. “Hey, uh, I just remembered I promised my aunt I’d get her some eggs while I was out. Do you think I could uh, take a dozen from you?” I stood there awkwardly, as I was a bit embarrassed that I actually asked her that.
She laughed and nodded her head from side to side, probably surprised I asked for eggs after a hookup. She then walked to her fridge and retrieved a dozen for me. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” she jokingly told me as she placed them in my hand. Before she let me leave with the eggs, she gave me one last kiss on the lips.
I thanked her and swung away. When I got home, I changed into normal clothing on the roof and entered the front door. May was waiting and I gave her the eggs as I promised her I would. When she asked why I was out all night, I said that I was spending time with a new girl I met. Since she knew how upset I was after Gwen’s passing, she didn’t get mad at me for being out with a girl so late.
Once I was in bed, I lay awake, thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her my name, or even vent about what's been going on in my life, and most likely shouldn’t have kissed her multiple times, but I was very happy with how my night ended. As a matter of fact, this was the happiest I’ve been since before Gwen’s death.
After all, Felicia and I could possibly work out. The feelings we had were mutual, and she was caring. She almost seemed like the perfect girl. Almost. There was one small problem I’d eventually have to face with Felicia, that being our philosophies not matching. But I can face that hurdle at another time. Something nice has finally happened to me, and there’s no point in possibly ruining that.