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“It’s a bookstore with a cafe.”
“ No, it’s a cafe with a bookstore.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not what the manager said.”
“You misheard him.”
“I didn’t! We went to the cafe with a bookstore last week. That’s what you’re thinking of.”
“No, I’m pretty sure last week was the movie theater.”
Barnaby sighed, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter. We need to stop accepting every interview request that comes our way. I’m starting to lose my mind keeping track of all of them.”
“You’re telling me,” Kotetsu muttered. “I can’t do laundry fast enough to keep up.”
“Is that why you insist on being in-costume so often during those dreadful things?” Nathan called out from the other side of the room. “Darling, I could always lend you something if you’re in a pinch. Unless they’re not your chic?”
“Nah. I like ‘em just fine on looks,” Kotetsu replied, “But whatever material you use itches the hell out of me. Not sure I’d make much of a pleasant interviewee if I walked out on stage in hives.”
Nathan frowned. “Aw, shame. I know just the little number that would be divine on you. We could match!”
Kotetsu shrugged. “If it’s cotton or something, I’ll consider it.”
“Latex, sadly.”
“Ah, well. Thanks for offerin’.” Kotetsu took his day bag out of his locker, slinging it over his shoulder. “Anyway, I’ll be fine. As far as clothes go, I’ve got some t-shirts, slacks, and a decent enough jacket to fall back on. Can’t look this good all the time.”
Barnaby tapped at his phone, skimming over a series of browser tabs he’d isolated with potential clothing options for the next month. He was grateful for having a separate budget from Hero TV for these sorts of things. He made it a habit to pass over any out-of-season outfits to local charity outlets, buying new ones on the network’s dime. He only had so much closet space, after all, and he was certain those in need of clothing didn’t care much for fashion rules, so it was a win-win. “What a loss for the world.”
“Hey!”
“I will admit…” Barnaby smirked, leaning against his locker. “It’s not like you’re un fashionable. But something tells me you didn’t pick that wardrobe yourself.”
Kotetsu grimaced, slumping slightly. “Y’got me there. Kaede’s the fashionista of the family, to tell the truth. She could be less rude about it, but you know how kids are.”
“GOD, NO! DON’T WEAR A WAIST BAG AT YOUR WAIST, DAD!”
“THEN WHY THE HELL IS IT CALLED A WAIST BAG?!”
“Still, I at least pull casual off without it costin’ an arm and a leg, compared to a certain someone I know.”
Barnaby raised an eyebrow, his gaze shifting slightly from the phone, his finger hovering over the “purchase” button on one of his tabs. “And just what would that mean?”
“You tell me, Mr. Fashion-Forward.” Kotetsu approached, slinging an arm around Barnaby as he raised his pointer finger. “What with the shiny necklace, the low-cut shirt ‘n jacket combo, the freakin’ belt!”
“What’s wrong with the belt?”
“Nothing,” Kotetsu replied, “But I can count the number of people who can pull off a belt with that many holes in it on one hand. Not to mention the specs. Probably custom-made—”
“All glasses are custom-made, Kotetsu,” Antonio called out from the other side of the room.
“The frames , Tonio!” Kotetsu grumbled something that sounded very similar to the word “smartass,” but Barnaby chose not to call attention to it. “Anyway, you ever see anyone else walkin’ around with something like those?”
Barnaby shrugged. “Geometrics are a bit of a recent trend.”
“See! Mr. Trendsetter, right here.” Patting Barnaby’s shoulder, Kotetsu stepped away, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You look top of the line from head to toe, with every little piece meticulously put into place. That works for your looks, and you can afford it. Me? I can probably toss on a Your Superhero Studies t-shirt and some jeans and make it work.”
Barnaby stared at Kotetsu for a moment, confusion taking hold. “What in the world is… nevermind that. So you’re saying you can pull off ‘relaxed.’”
“Exactly!”
“It’s not un true. You have a laissez-faire aura to you.”
“Sure I do, whatever that is.”
“And you’re implying I can’t pull that off as well?”
Kotetsu blinked, raising an eyebrow. “No? That’s not what I said.”
Barnaby crossed his arms. “You literally just said you could make a cartoon t-shirt look good.”
“Bunny, I’m just sayin’ we have different vibes and tax brackets, that’s not a big deal.”
“I’m sure I can do ‘casual’ just as well as you can.”
“One-hundred percent, Bunny,” Kotetsu agreed. “I’m just saying your kinda casual may differ from mine. Like, for you, if you took that jacket off? That’s casual enough.”
“It’s sounding a lot like you’re saying I can’t do real casual, like you presumably.”
“That’s not what—Bunny, you’re putting words in my mouth here!”
Karina peered up from her book as Kotetsu and Barnaby’s voices began to rise in volume. She glanced at the others to gauge their reactions
Nathan rolled their eyes, their attention more directed toward the nail polish they were applying.
Antonio was suspiciously focused on his phone.
Pao-Lin was watching like it was her favorite soap opera.
Keith looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.
Ivan was inching slowly toward the door.
Do I always have to be the adult around here?
“Don’t you two have an interview to prepare for?” Karina asked, loudly. Kotetsu and Barnaby, each having been mid-reach toward the other’s collar, frozen in place.
“...right.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Kotetsu shook his head, turning toward the door. “I’m headin’ out; cool your head a bit, Bunny. If you really want to talk shop, we can do it later. Hey, Ivan, hold that for me, wouldja?”
“S-sure thing.”
As Kotetsu left, Barnaby looked back down at his phone tabs. He had an outfit prepared to order, with same-day pick-up at a local boutique.
His finger hovered over the “save for later” option.
Karina sighed, settling her chin into her hand. “Don’t let the old man get to you, Barnaby. His fashion advice is about as good as a twelve-year-old’s, if his own kid has to make him look presentable… eurgh.”
“Right.”
“...Barnaby?” Keith asked, cautiously, as Barnaby stared intensely at his phone. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. I have to go, too; I need to check out a few places on my way home.”
“...define places, hun,” Nathan asked, eyes narrowing.
Barnaby was out the door before the other hero had finished asking.
“Not to your taste, sir?” the attendant asked, watching as Barnaby returned from the dressing room, a bundle in his arms.
The hero grimaced as he gently put back the neatly folded dress clothes into their proper places. “It’s not that. I’m just… looking for something different, that’s all.”
The man rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “We do have some new colors in for that line, though we haven’t put them up for sale yet. Perhaps I could—”
“No, please. You don’t have to go that far.”
“As you wish, sir.”
The attendant walked away, making his way toward another customer. Barnaby sighed, sparing a look at a nearby mannequin. The thing was dressed to the nines, in a spiffy sportcoat, a matching tie and hat, neatly-pressed slacks…
Normally, he’d have been more interested in the man’s offer. Hot-off-the-assembly line clothes from Bakugo and Co. ? He’d be walking out of the store with bags stuffed to the brim any other day. However…
“You look top of the line from head to toe, with every little piece meticulously put into place.”
…that’s not what he needed right now.
“Attention, shoppers!” Barnaby jumped at the sound of the intercom, snapped from his thoughts. “Be sure to check out some of our latest additions! For the special someone in your life, why not show them you care with a diamond ring from Alear’s? Be sure to stop by Marco’s Phoenix for a quick bite; their famous chicken tenders won’t eat themselves!”
Barnaby tuned out the announcer’s ramblings, slowly shuffling through the labyrinthine racks of ties and cufflinks and toward the store’s exit. Maybe if I look online…
“...and if you’re looking to impress with the way you dress—”
He paused. “Hm?”
“—if you want to look cool as ice with styles so hot that even Fire Emblem wouldn’t be able to take the heat, check out—”
“—Cold Thesis, your one-stop-shop for modern style, thanks for stopping by.”
“Right.” Barnaby took in the… “ambiance” of the store.
The first thing he noticed were the belts. Belts as far as the eye could see. Studded, designer, buckles adorned with characters he only vaguely recognized from the few times the break room television at Hero TV wasn’t just showing more Hero TV…
It was a bit disorienting.
A quick glance at least assured Barnaby that he didn’t suddenly stumble into Belts Incorporated; the store had t-shirts of varying sizes, the former situated underneath massive signboards showcasing the designs within. So many cartoon characters, and I don’t recognize any of them… or are they video game characters? I couldn’t tell the difference if I tried. There were other shirts available; button ups, crew-necks, and… Is that a lace-up? Maybe I should get that for Nathan. I have been stumped for a birthday gift…
Turning his attention to the back of the store, he spotted a few pairs of pants in outlandish colors ( Hot pink? Lime green? I suppose someone wants to wear those if they’re for sale…) , alongside accessories like collars, necklaces, and wristbands.
This wasn’t what he was used to shopping for.
But, if this was “modern” fashion, beggars couldn’t be choosers.
A brown-haired clerk approached, holding a clipboard in her hand. A manager, perhaps? “See anything that catches your eye, sir—” She paused, her eyes widening. “Wait. Aren’t you that Bunny dude!?”
Barnaby bristled. “Barnaby Brooks Jr., yes.”
The woman gasped, her clipboard slipping from her grip and clattering to the floor “Oh, wow . I mean… an actual hero, here! In our store!”
Barnaby held up his hands, grateful that he appeared to be the only one in the store at the moment. “I appreciate it, but I’m trying to be discreet.”
“O-oh, right! Of course! Naturally!” The clerk mimed zipping her lips, her fingers flicking away an invisible key.
“Thank you…” Barnaby adjusted his glasses as he looked at the woman’s name tag. “Chloe?”
“Yep, that’s me!” Clearing her throat, clipboard long forgotten, Chloe clasped her hands together. “S-so, how can I help you today?”
“I’m looking to change up my style. I was hoping to get something a little more casual than…” He gestured at his current outfit. “This.”
“I-I see!” The clerk nodded, looking Barnaby up and down. “Well, I can think of a few things…baggy or tight-fitting?”
“The latter, if possible.”
“Colors?”
“I usually go for brighter primary colors, but I’m open for suggestions.”
“Okay…okay, I think I have a starting line.” Maneuvering past the blonde, she stopped before one of the shirt racks. “Any fandoms?”
“...fan…doms?”
The woman tilted her head. “You know, like… do you like anime, or any particular bands…?”
“I don’t usually have the time,” Barnaby admitted. “But if the clothes look good, I’m open to wearing them.”
“Oh! Well, in that case…” Chloe grabbed a shirt from the bottom rung of the shelf, muttering to herself. “With those shoulders and muscles, probably an XL…” She quickly grabbed a few other articles of clothing, including some pants and accessories, as she made her way across the store. Barnaby watched her with a level of fascination; not even the Bakugo’s staff moved with that kind of speed. Is she a NEXT, perhaps? After a moment, Chloe reappeared in front of him, a large stack of clothes in her arms. “Dressing room is in the back, if you’d like to try before you buy.”
“Thank you.” Taking the stack, Barnaby traversed the store floor, carefully entering the dressing room and letting the door slam shut. Okay…let’s see what we have here…
An hour later, with a more streamlined stack than the one he’d entered with, Barnaby exited the dressing room.
“How do you like them?”
“They’re perfect . ”
“Where the hell is he?” Kotetsu checked his watch. Sure, the cafe wouldn’t be open for another hour, but early was late in showbiz. Or was it late that was early? Too many idioms , Kotetsu mused. Either way… “I expected he’d be here long before me.”
“Don’t worry, darling; you know how he can be about his looks.” Nathan flipped a page in their book, not bothering to look up from their entertainment. “Or at least, you do now . ”
“Keep rubbin’ it in, why don’t you?” Kotetsu felt bad enough after the earful he got from Karina about how he acted toward Bunny, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. A difference in opinion is good now and again, even if said difference was misinterpreted as ‘you look like shit.’ Bunny’s a big boy, he can figure out what I meant.
The dressing room door opened, and Kotetsu’s mouth opened in parallel.
Unlike the door, Koetsu’s mouth remained ajar.
“Hello, Kotetsu. I see you’re ready… for…” Barnaby blinked. “What’s wrong?”
“Huh.” Nathan glanced upward. “Well, something must have left you speechle—”
A loud crack came from the book’s spine as Nathan took in the sight.
A tight-fitting t-shirt, adorned with multiple languages’ worth of sentences surrounding… wolves? Plural? Howling at the moon? The damned thing was busier than rush hour in downtown Stern Bild.
A belt around his waist, a belt around his sleeve, and a belt around his torso.
Ripped jeans— no, ripped was far too generous; “ torn like they had been scratched up by a dozen cats in unison” would be more appropriate.
…the socks and shoes were tasteful. Dark socks and purple sneakers. The effect was immediately ruined by the mismatched neon laces.
“Dear God, a chain wallet!? ”
Barnaby nodded, fiddling with the metal links. “Yes. It seemed appropriate. It is fashion-forward and practical.”
Kotetsu wheeled around, grabbing a nearby water bottle as tiny bursts of air erupted from his lungs. “S-sorry,” he managed, “C-cough.” Definitely a cough, and definitely not laughter.
“You should cut down on fried foods, Kotetsu.”
“Honey, as much as I agree, we have a bigger issue here.” Nathan dropped the book, stomping over to Barnaby as if possessed by a furious specter. “What the hell do you call this?”
“...my look.” Barnaby leveled a smug smirk at Kotetsu, who suddenly began chugging his water bottle. “It seems that a certain someone doesn’t have an opinion this time, hm?”
“This is not your look,” Nathan groused, placing firm hands on Barnaby’s shoulders. “This is an affront to fashion.”
“This is casual.”
“This is upsetting , Barnaby.”
Turning back to face Barnaby, Kotetsu crossed his arms. “It’s… not what I’d expect out of you, that’s for sure. I mean… it fits?”
“Physically, perhaps,” Nathan muttered, stepping back.
“Still, you didn’t have to go this far. You got a brand to uphold, right? I think this might be a little much to debut all at once.” I’d know. Last time I wore a shirt like that, Kaede wouldn’t stop telling me about all the memes that spawned…
Barnaby’s smirk fell to a neutral line. “Oh? So now that I’m not wearing what you want to see, you have an issue.”
Ah, Hell, I was hoping to avoid this. “No, it’s… well, people might…”
“Might what? ”
“They might talk about it.”
“Isn’t that the point?”
Nathan sighed. “Boys, boys. I have some spare suits I can give both of you, if you just—”
“Why is this such a big deal to you, Bunny?” Kotetsu sniped, clenching his fists. “It’s just freaking clothes.”
“Then you shouldn’t have an issue.” Turning away, Barnaby scowled (not that he’d let the other two see that, mind). “We have an interview to prepare for. Waste all the time you want here if you must.”
“Bunny, wait—”
Barnaby made his exit, allowing the door the slam on the way out.
Kotetsu groaned, slamming a hand into his forehead. “Is this really the time for him to finally act his age for once?”
“Says the man who needs to act his . ”
Growling, Kotetsu turned to Nathan. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Nathan leveled a cold stare at their fellow Hero. “He was looking for validation , you know.”
“Why?” Kotetsu raised an eyebrow. “He’s not that much of an egotist.”
“Kotetsu, you— listen. He wanted to hear, from someone whose style and flair he admires— even if he’s not going to say it to your face,” Nathan added, on Kotetsu’s skeptical look, “That he was fashionable. That he looked nice.”
“...” Kotetsu closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I hate that you’re right.”
“You admit it, at least. So.” Nathan stood up, staring up at the ever-so-slightly shorter Kotetsu. “What are you going to do about it?”
Kotetsu stared back, before his lips twisted into a manic grin. “You still got that sequin?”
“I never leave home without it, honey.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Barnaby Brooks Jr.!”
Barnaby walked onto the small stage, a perfectly practiced, artificial smile on his face as he glanced at the assembled crowd. Kotetsu hadn’t come to the green room earlier, and Nathan was being cagey about where he was. On top of that, the crowd was… silent. Not that he minded; it was less ear-splitting than the usual cheers.
The stares were new, though.
“Say, that’s one heck of a look, Mr. Brooks!” The announcer called out, grinning ear to ear. “Where’d you get it?”
“Cold Thesis,” Barnaby answered, honestly. A few chuckles rippled through the crowd.
“...you’re serious?” The announcer raised an eyebrow. “Figured you were more of a Bakugo ’s guy.”
“Trying something new.”
More snickers. Barnaby couldn’t help the frown that formed on his face, a shiver running down his spine. “What? What’s the matter?”
“Well, it’s just, that’s not really what we expect from—” A young man in a staff shirt ran up to the announcer, whispering something in his ear. “Oh! Well, we’ve just got word that our other guests are ready to rumble! Please welcome Wild Tiger, and our panel moderator, Fireeeeeeeeeee Emblemmmmmm!”
A smattering of applause rang through the room… followed by no shortage of gasps.
Barnaby spared a look at his partner, and felt his own jaw drop.
Standing there, in a full sequin suit jacket (with every scale shining like it had been polished with only the finest cloth), a gaudy purple button-up, and hot pink slacks, was Kotetsu. Cheerily, he waved at Barnaby. “Hey there, Bunny! Sorry for the wait.”
“What is that?!”
Kotetsu pulled at the suit as he sat next to Barnaby, Nathan making their way to their own seat at a small desk. “I got some real nasty stains thanks to a wayward cup’a Joe. Had to make do.”
Whispers echoed through the masses.
“Was this intentional?”
“Dude, I didn’t realize sequins were in right now.”
“I mean, the chain wallet is kinda rad, don’t you think?”
“I didn’t know Barnaby was a Wolfword fan!”
“Well,” the announcer drawled, “Looks like I need to take some fashion tips from the experts. Taking a detour to Cold Thesis after this!” More chuckles and outright laughter billowed from the crowd, though it felt far more… sincere, Barnaby noticed.
Whispering to Kotetsu, he asked, “What really happened to your clothes?”
“Well, I figured, if you can do casual…” Kotetsu smirked, giving his partner a gentle pat on the back. “I can try for something swanky. I can see the appeal, actually. Outside of the hives, anyway, but that’s what the button-up is for.” More softly, and with a lowered head, he added, “I’m sorry for raggin’ on ya. Didn’t realize your look was that important to you.”
“...well, I didn’t realize it was until you started making me think about it.” Barnaby looked down at his own outfit, a small smile on his face. “It is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.”
Kotetsu snickered. “Hey, it works. Maybe ridiculous is a good look for ya.”
“Could be.”
“If you’re all done, boys?” Nathan cleared their throat, taking out a stack of paper. “The good ladies and gentlemen whipped up some lovely questions for you today, and I’d hate to keep them waiting.”
“Go for it, pal.”
“Yes, by all means.”
Nathan nodded. “First, a personal request: burn that t-shirt.”
“Never.”
“Well, can’t blame a gal for trying.”