Chapter Text
Oh how B.J. hated today! He hadn’t slept much the night before, visions of the war in Korea continually invading his initially peaceful dreams. Despite his attempts to focus his attention on everything else…. Anything else!
Standing with her parents, he wished he could escape the next chapter of his life. But there was no way to stop this. Or at least put it on hold…somehow. If only long enough to see his little girl genuinely smile, actually recognize him, take her first….
“Darling,” broke into his thoughts. Peg, beside him, squeezed his hand. As if she were life itself, he held tight to her. In a few more hours this lovely lady, through no fault of her own, would become a single parent of a brand new baby girl. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it!
Tick Tick Tick. The precious minutes of family time ebbing away starts today. Travis Air Force Base? Step one. Not the way he’d planned to start his family. Certainly not the way to grow one.
Five weeks training at Fort Sam Houston. Then on to Korea. Assigned to a MASH unit where he would care for the wounded. He’d just begun to hear a few horror stories. For who the hell knows how long?!
But he was even more afraid of what he’d miss while he was away. ‘Boys don’t cry.’ His father’s voice boomed in his head as the in-laws jabbered to the baby, promising to take good care of his little family.
In private, Mr. Hayden assured his son-in-law that if anything happened to him while he was overseas, his wife and daughter would be well taken care of.
Drawing no comfort from that thought, he nearly choked on a proper thank you, offering only a tolerant closed lipped smile.
He stole a quick glance at his wristwatch, that ominously ticking time bomb, and grimaced when their glances met over it. His lady. In his head. And forever in his heart. Soon he would be in a strange land far away from his loved ones.
She would be home with her parents, trying to get that precious little bundle asleep after a very busy day. A day which was not only busy for the adults, but heartbreaking. While they all hoped that B.J. would come back relatively unscathed, they knew none of them would ever be the same as they were that day.
She placed the sleeping infant in his arms, giving him a kiss and whispering in his ear. He offered a small smile, desperately trying to manifest calm strength.
Her parents had reminded her many times that she should make the most of the time he had now. No one had to state the obvious: the unsettling possibility that he may not come home.
She enveloped her little family with a loving smile, and squeezed his shoulder. Then she was gone, deciding he needed alone time with his infant.
“Baby…” He kissed the tiny infant’s forehead with more force than needed, as if trying to imprint her with so much love that no matter what happened she’d never be able to forget him.
Wiping away tears with the back of his hand, he wished Erin would awake if only for a minute. If they could be a family just for a moment. If she could just hear her father’s voice one more time.
“Honey…Erin, promise me you won’t grow up. Angel, Daddy has a lifetime of songs he wants to sing you, stories to tell you…and smiles he aches to give you… but I have to go away just for a….a…. to help people…. Oh….I’ll miss you my sweet baby….. I love you.”
Miss Erin slept soundly, without a care, a blissful milky smile on her lips.
Somewhat disheartened, her father struggled to remind himself she was only a baby, entitled to infantile innocence. He glanced at his watch. Oh why couldn’t time stand still….?! “Don’t forget me, baby girl...” it was a heartfelt plea.
“Come on now, Billy, you spend some adult time…. with your lady….” His father-in-law insisted.
”Leave her be, Honey.” Mrs. Hayden’s touch on B.J.’s shoulder gently brought him regretfully back to the present. He regarded her with misty eyes.
”None of that, now, Boy, you get yourself out there and spend some proper time with Mama. I’ll take good care of our precious princess. Come to Grand Daddy, Sweety.”
B.J. couldn’t resist one more kiss before surrendering the little bundle to her grandfather. Aww! If that damn plane could just be late!’ As he turned to walk away, he stopped and imagined the baby taking her first step ….He could see his wife by his side. He imagined Erin falling down, Peg brushing her off, kissing the boo boo as he caressed her.
‘I have to be there… He never wanted it more. Gotta catch her when she falls….wipe her tears…cheer her on!’ He wanted to so badly he could taste it.
”None of that, B.J. Hunnicutt…. “ The grandmother was reading his mind. “Erin’s in slumberland, not paying the slightest bit of attention to you, me, or anybody. You heard what I said.” His mother-in-law insisted.
He now threw a glance at his gorgeous lady, whose head was on her father’s shoulder, tears in her eyes. The thought that he’d caused that pain was almost unbearable. None of this was his fault. Surely she understood that. But it didn’t matter. She’d certainly make it without him. But for how long? His heart hurt. He could never abandon his girls. How could he ever live without them?
“Excuse me, Pa…. Can I steal your little girl away for a few minutes?”
”Git in here and take her, Boy. She’s gonna miss you something awful.”
”Not half as much as I already miss her.” He was losing the battle to show strength and composure.
Floyd Hayden stepped back. His son-in-law stepped in: grabbing Peg and kissing her rather hard. She pulled him closer barely affording him the space to breathe. For a moment he paused, almost embarrassed by the force he’d used. Aww… what the hell…. they were young once, too. And truthfully, who could say when or if they’d ever see each other again? Who would help her raise Erin?
Barely conscious of the grandparents quietly making their way to the snack bar with their princess, Mr. and Mrs. Hunnicutt did their best to make a few memories they could hold in their hearts when everything around them would be falling apart.
Although B.J. did his best to give all of himself entirely to the moment, the minutes ticked away in his head and in his heart. If that damn plane could just be late he’d be elated. But he doubted the military would ever allow such a thing.