Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Clown, despite his name, really hated the circus. In his defense, being forced to sumersault through rings of fire and trapeze over fifty feet with no netting was terrifying. Sure, he‘d been doing this since he was eight, but ten years doesn‘t make the danger not there. He sighed, the outfit he always had to wear always far too tight. He would give almost anything to make his own adjustments. He adjusted the mask on his face, the only compromise he could get on the outfit. Clown didn’t like the idea of people seeing his face and for some reason his boss had been completely on board. He supposed he got lucky in that department. 

The act was the same as it always was: the ringmaster announced him in a way seemingly creative but he had done it enough that Clown was sick. Clown backflips onto the platform, a smile painted only on his mask. He looked at the terrain ahead. It was an easy one today. A simple obstacle course. Naturally Clown made a show of making it to the end. He swung through rings. A round of cheers. He did an excessive amount of flips and somersaults. A round of cheers. His foot slipped and a spike of pain went through his leg but he caught himself playing it off with another flip. Another round of cheers. 

The course was over and he made a show of dancing into the back of the circus, away from the eyes of the circus. He limped to the backstage, trying to shake off the pain while cursing himself out for the slip up. Croslen would definitely notice the mistake. This wasn‘t going to go well. He reached his room that he shared with his siblings. He opened the door and made his way to the chair. Kab was the only one in the room, Rasplin was working concessions and Mid was working lights. The girl with blue hair made her way to where Clown was sitting.

“Clown what’s up?” She asked. The man rubbed at his ankle. Shit, sprained. He took off his mask and put on a small pained smile.

“Nothing cottontail, I just had a slip up on the platform.” She frowned, Kab was thirteen; naive, not stupid. 

“Your bullshitting dickhead.” Clown frowned at the words.

“Watch your language Kab, but she’s right. Clown I saw that slip, how bad is it?” His twin asked, walking into the room. Her third eye was visible at the moment, she was relaxed enough to do so. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun and rose gold sunglasses covered her first two eyes. Clown winced at the eyebags. One thing he did his best to help was Mid, she was flexible but not nearly to Clown’s level. He had managed to get Croslen to go easy on her, strapping her with the position of lights director and leaving her alone for the most part. Rasplin walked in covered soda, alcohol, and a very strong smell of popcorn. He sighed.

“I’m gonna shower. Mid, can you interrogate him quietly?” She nodded and the fourteen year old slunk into the bathroom while Mid knelt to Clown’s eye level. 

“Sprained, twisted, or broken?” She asked immediately, examining the ankle. Clown sighed it was going to be a hassle to get Mid to stop pestering so he relented.

“Sprained.”

“Okay, it could be worse.” She replied, immediately beginning her work on treating the injury. She grabbed the leg. “Kab, grab me some ice and the first aid kit.” The girl nodded glancing worriedly at her brother before grabbing the requested items from their small kitchenette. Nothing was ever cooked there, dinner was provided but it did add space to store things. The ice pack was cold against his skin. Clown felt an elastic bandage being pressed onto the injury and a makeshift cast holding the injury in place. “You are so lucky that tomorrow is a Monday.” His twin remarked. He nodded, the circus was closed Monday through Wednesday and he wasn’t old enough to work in the other business the circus hosted. He never wanted to be old enough to do that. He checked the clock. 

8:00 pm

Shit. Croslen was always here at exactly 8:15 pm. In ten minutes he’d be at the hall, Rasplin was out of the shower and finished changing. Thankfully Mid had finished patching him up. Kab sat off to the side. He put on a tight smile. 

“Thanks guys, why don’t you go grab dinner and pick me up some yeah? Eat down there though.” Mid eyed him suspiciously, she was about to say something. Kab and Rasplin’s stomachs rumbled simultaneously. They looked away sheepishly. Mid sighed. 

“Fine.” She relented, a worried expression was placed on her features. “Be careful please?” She knew what was coming. Clown didn’t respond. That was enough to answer. Mid left, eyes narrowed. Kab and Rasplin followed, confusion written on their faces. They didn’t know why Clown always kicked them out after a show but it was definitely something they’d pried before with fruitless efforts. Clown glanced back at the clock.

8:08 pm

He took in a deep breath, preparing himself for what was about to occur. Absentmindedly he massaged his ankle breathing slowly. He felt his emotions fade to the back of his mind. A blank expression overtaking his face. No one could see it behind the mask, thankfully. 

8:15 pm

A knock. Right on time. Clown took a breath as Croslen entered the room, tossing the door open. Briefly, the acrobat winced but not for his ankle. The man turned to him. Pink hair tossed up in a half-bun. His smile seemed genuine. Clown knew better. He always knew better. 

“So that was certainly a performance~” he drawled. Clown tensed, oh god this was already going south. 

“Look, Cros, I’m sorry. I had a slip up and the audience didn’t even notice. It was fin-” His boss had him choked up against a wall. He couldn’t breathe, Croslen knew that. He struggled against his hold until Croslen took his mask off. The porcelain was carelessly discarded into the chair he was sitting in not even a moment before. 

“You know we don’t accept fine here.” He spat. “We expect a minimum of perfection.” Clown was hyperventilating, the last time Croslen had been this mad Mid hadn’t found him until two days later. Barely . Fear riddled his body in a way only Croslen could do. He knew that. Of course he knew that. 

“I-” He was cut off by a punch square across his jaw. Clown had thankfully not bitten his tongue this time. The only thing that came out was spit rather than blood. He wished it was neither. 

“Did I say you could talk yet, Wretch?” It was a question. Clown shook his head silently. He shook off the emotion. Locked it in a box. It was fine, he was fine. Croslen wouldn’t replace him, Clown was his best performer. The man smiled cruelly.

“Good.” He said curtly. His grip loosened a bit, Clown took in small gulps of air until he was harshly slammed back to the wall and the oxygen was stolen from him once more. “Now, if you ever fuck up that badly again, I’ll take your fucking kidney, turn those little rats into my next art piece, and bring that talentless bitch into our other buisness.” Clown couldn’t hide the emotion in his eyes. The fear and anger at what he had threatened to do to his precious siblings. No, what he promised he would do to his precious siblings. 

“And you’ll do nothing about it.” Clown looked away. He had lost the game. He nodded silently and Croslen released him. “Fix that leg up, before I take it away from you.” He finished before taking a deep breath and walking out a moment later. Clown was panting, frantically searching for his mask. He grasped it and ran into their bathroom. He was hyperventilating. He gripped the sink marble and glanced at himself in the mirror.

He looked like shit. 

His hair was messy, his face had a giant bruise and he was a bright red from loss of oxygen. He sighed, getting in the shower a moment later. After he had dried and changed he put his mask back on. It covered the bruise nicely. He limped out of the bathroom and sat on his bunk. He heard the door open and Kab, Rasplin, and Mid came in. Mid was carrying a plate of food. He watched them, Kab had climbed to her bunk and began talking at Clown, Mid eyed him warily, and Rasplin stared with his brow furrowed. He was trying to click into place what was going on. Clown responded to Kab until Mid made her go to bed. She huffed, annoyed, but still did so. She and Mid were asleep soon after, but not before Mid gave him a look that told him; ‘we’re talking about this later’. Rasplin was still awake. Still watching Clown. 

“Who was in here?” He prodded. Clown glanced at him, eyes tired. He would never tell Rasplin he was keeping him up though. He could muster a half excuse surely.

“Croslen was doing a debrief from the show, what to improve on, you know?” He wasn’t technically lying. Just… not telling the truth. He didn’t mention Croslen’s threat. He would never reveal that to any of them. No matter how many times they asked. Rasplin didn’t like that answer. 

“Why are you wearing your mask?” 

“I’m fine, little crow.” Rasplin sat on the bed, cogs turning in his brain. He seemed to finally realize Clown wasn’t going to tell him and sighed. Briefly, Clown thought about the similarities between Rasplin and an old man. He gave his attention back to the fourteen year old. 

“Be more careful.” Was all he could respond with. Rasplin had hidden his concern behind expertly crafted arrogance but Clown saw through it. He always did. He nodded, not touching Rasplin so as to not make the boy uncomfortable. The silence seeped in.

“Alright, goodnight asshole.” He stood, moving to his bunk. Clown smiled behind his porcelain decoration.

“Goodnight little crow.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Clownpierce right?” Clown sat up stock still. He faced a man with dark hair. He wore a red jacket with a wolf embroidered on the back. His eyes were a deep red and Clown spotted fangs. The next thing he noticed was that he didn’t have his mask. Shit .

“Who the hell are you and how did you get in here?” His tone was threatening as he took a look around the room. Kab, Rasplin, and Mid were gone. His eyes frantically searched for them.

“Relax Spotlight,” Clown’s eyebrows raised at the nickname. “They’re fine, this is like a dream.” He explained. 

“Okay then I’m going back to sleep.” The man sighed, exasperated.

“What if I said I could get you out of this?” Clown’s eyes widened at that. He quickly hid his surprise and fixed the man with a glare. He knew how these kinds of deals went. He’d made deals with the devil (A.N. Croslen is not actually the devil but he might as well be). 

“What’s the catch?” The man scratched his neck. Looking like he was about to deliver some bad news. Ah, here it was.

“Funny story, you kinda need to believe h that gods exist.” Clown blinked.

“So you want me to go from circus slave to cultist.” He stated, it wasn’t a question. The man blinked before putting his hands up defensively and stuttering out protests. Clown resisted the urge to laugh. Even if this guy was a cultist he was still pretty nice… and a bit dorky.

“No! I just- shit I’m not good at these…” The man held out his hand, Clown tensed. Shaking hands was not his favorite thing. This stranger seemed to notice his discomfort and put his hand down before continuing. “My name is Lycan and I am a Primordial Force of war, wilderness, and loyalty.” Clown blinked violently. He burst into laughter.

“Yeah okay-” He coughed out. Lycan frowned.

“How can I prove that to you?” He seemed very serious, Clown couldn’t help but be intrigued. He figured this man was probably something magical if he was visiting him in a dream. But a primordial force?! Ridiculous. Clown wasn’t stupid. Though he supposed a ‘primordial of wilderness’ could summon some dogs right?

“Summon a bunch of wolves.” Lycan’s eyes lit up. He seemed excited. 

“I knew you were gonna say that!” Clown’s eyes widened as Lycan’s body shifted. Fluffy ears sprouted from his head and a tail appeared. The fangs were sharper. More animal . The man howled, Clown flinched at the volume but was quickly distracted by the shadowy creatures rising from the ground. Wolves molded themselves together and scurried up to him. Licking his face.

“What the-” Clown laughed, the dogs swarmed him. Lycan let out a short whistle and the dogs meshed back into the ground. 

“Funny,” the man remarked, “They only like my incarnates.” His grin was full of smugness. Clown closed his jaw from where it had opened abruptly. Lycan met his gaze. “Guess that’s you.” Clown stayed silent, watching this- this deity closely. The wolf man had a serious expression now. “Look Spotlight, things are going to get messy soon. When that happens—and you’ll know when that happens— call my name and I will get you and your siblings out of this hellhole.” He explained. 

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Chapter Text

Another day, another act. Clown hadn’t made any mistakes since that night a month ago and he planned to continue his streak. He hated how he was bent under Croslen’s will like a broken straw but those threats. Those promises were an all too real reality for him. He also hadn’t forgotten about Lycan’s warning and he kept wondering when that day would come. 

He flipped onto the platform, a smile only present on the mask, and waved to the audience. Ahead of him was a trapeze course. Crap, Croslen was really testing him. He took graceful steps towards his main obstacle. Clown gave himself some momentum before latching onto the first bar. He swung in a purposeful manner, the whole act being more like a dance than anything else. He used his current momentum to spring to the next bar. He felt the bar twist when he landed. Shit . Clown lost his momentum, left dangling above a one hundred foot drop. The spotlight was heavy on him but he definitely felt it dim and the other lights got more attention. 

Thanks Mid . He thought. Think. Think. Think! There it was! An idea. It was risky but it might work.

Clown propelled himself upward. He was standing on the trapeze. The crowd oohed and ahhed. He raised his hands as if to say ‘you see? It’s all part of the show!’ He swung on the trapeze and launched himself across onto the final trapeze, not sparing himself even a second of reprieve before jumping to the other end of the platform. 

He waved to the audience and ran off stage. His wrist ached but he didn’t care about that. He texted the group chat between himself and his siblings.

clown car: proof of life?

mid kid behavior sent an image in one point five. The image depicts a bright green eye widened and the rest of her forehead. You can barely see her regular eyes.

floppy sent an image. It depicts herself with an eyebrow raised, bunny ears slightly messy from running water to all of the performers. 

Rasplin didn’t respond. Clown panicked. What if Croslen had gotten to him? He was too late. Nononononono-

rasplin deez nutz sent an image. It depicts the boy in his usual costume, a liquid spilled on it once again. Annoyance was scrawled on his expression.

rasplin deez nutz: sorry, an asshole spilled his beer on me >:(

floppy: I don’t think that gets across the vibe you want dumbass

mid kid behavior: Kab, if Rasplin wants to use his strange emoticons we do not judge him for it. 

mid kid behavior: seriously tho dude that looks kinda goofy

rasplin deez nutz: rude.

Clown let out a sigh of relief. Everyone was okay. Everything was okay for now.

For now. 

That didn’t bode well. Clown slowly made his way to the cafe. His phone read eight o’clock. He surely had time. He walked in, grabbed his dinner and sat in the corner. He didn’t eat the food, not here. People on the crew didn’t like the performers much, something about better treatment. He didn’t blame them, most of the other performers were huge dickheads really. An announcement was given through the speakers.

Will Clown Pierce please come to my office? I have something for you.

Croslen’s voice sent shivers down his spine. When Clown got up he could feel looks of jealousy pouring into his back. Better jealous than informed, he supposed. His hand shook when he tried to open the door. His breath hitched, what exactly was waiting for him? 

“Pierce? Come in darling~” Clown shivered. He took a breath and opened the door, adjusting his mask on his face. He walked in and forced himself not to gasp. Mid, Rasplin, and Kab were all there. They were all chained. Mid was growling, eyes narrowed at Croslen. Her third eye wasn’t visible but Clown was sure it would be glaring with the other two. Rasplin was putting up a brave front, Clown knew he was scared. Kab’s mouth was taped shut and it was clear that she had been cussing out whoever had dragged them here. A hint of pride flashed through him.

“Clown must I remind you of our little… compromise?” Croslen asked, pink hair swaying as his head moved. Clown shook his head, his emotions veiled behind his mask. Croslen hummed. “Good, I have a circus to run and you broke your side of the deal. Can’t have people thinking I’m a softy!” He said cheerily, Clown’s blood ran cold. His mouth ran.

“Cros, I promise it won’t happen again. I’ll work more, I’ll take more acts-” a laughter filled the room, it was humorless and cold. Clown narrowed his eyes. Croslen had a knife in his hands and was walking over to Rasplin.

No.  

“You really did forget didn’t you? I told you Clown… too many slip ups and we all get clumsy.” He wasn’t fast enough for what happened next. His eyes widened as a scream erupted from Rasplin. Croslen had dropped the knife into his leg. Carelessly. Like he was expendable. Clown rushed forward and Croslen surged in front of him pinning him to the wall. Mid was screaming behind him and Kab was crying, entire body seething with hate. Clown’s eyes held fear like he’d never felt before. 

“I always keep my end of the deal Clown. Now stay quiet or they’re next.” He seethed, a clicking alerted Clown to handcuffs being tightened around his wrists. He stopped his voice. Though he did writhe against the bindings and watched as Croslen grabbed the knife out of Rasp’s leg and the boy cried out again. The sadist made his way back to Clown. Clown was glaring, body rigid with resentment.

Croslen stood in front of him now. His eyes scanned up and down Clown’s frame as if searching for something. Clown couldn’t figure out what it was until Croslen had ripped his mask off. He dropped it to the floor and Clown heard a sickening crack. It wasn’t broken but it would take a lot of glue to fix he was sure. 

“Now,” He laughed, “How much can you bleed?” Clown couldn’t hide the way his eyes widened. The pain he let out as the knife was plunged into his side. The agony as Croslen took his time removing the promised appendage. Tears ran down his face and despite the torture, the knife, and all odds, he forced himself not to scream. Croslen wanted him to scream. He wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. He bit his cheek. Hard. Croslen was not pleased. Distantly, he heard Mid screaming, begging for it to stop. All of his siblings were yelling, crying over him. That wasn’t right. 

He met eyes with the psychopath as he pulled the kidney out. Clown was coughing blood and stars he wanted to throw up. That was so gross. What could he do? Think… 

Croslen looked more displeased and he walked over to Mid. She leaned away from him as he grabbed her cheek. Clown rested his head, looking at the floor bitterly.

“I’m not sure you’ll even sell well, Cyclops.” Mid growled at the nickname and spit at him. Croslen stepped back, a disgusted noise leaving his mouth. “Take her away.” He grit out, smiling. Clown looked back up. He snarled.

“Don’t. Touch. Her.” He spat. His breath was shallow. Croslen watched him. He laughed heartily.

“What will you do?” It was taunting, everyone knew it. Clown took it seriously. What could he do? He was confined, if he could just break out. God he wished for fangs like Lycan’s right about now…

Wait.

Lycan!

The conversation rang in his head.

“Look Spotlight, things are going to get messy soon. When that happens—and you’ll know when that happens— call my name and I will get you and your siblings out of this hellhole.”

This had to be the moment he was talking about.

Call my name.

Clown smirked. He had the upper hand now. It was his turn to win against Satan himself. It was time… to end a war.

“Oh I can’t do anything,” he drawled, “but my buddy can. Say hi Lycan.” He said the name with enough venom to make a snake jealous. A haze overtook him and urges of violence washed in. He felt himself take a metaphorical back seat and someone appeared next to him. Lycan was in his mind, controlling him in a way. He laughed menacingly. 

“Hi.” 

Clown felt phoenix-like wings sprout from him, the fire felt nice against his clothes. A warm blanket on a cold night. His eyes glowed a deep red. Croslen took some steps back reaching frantically behind him. Clown stalked forward. Croslen gripped a gun and smirked. He quickly aimed it at Kab and Clown pulled a full stop, hesitating. Kab wasn‘t looking at the gun. She was looking at him.

“Get him Clown!” She yelled over the silence. Clown didn’t move. Croslen chuckled. 

“He won’t move. Not for you.” Clown glared at Croslen, newly grown fangs flashing. Lycan was looking at him, waiting for something. He wasn’t nervous, he was smiling. Something wasn’t right here. 

“Serves you right, jerk.” Clown glanced at Lycan who had whispered in his head. The man giggled. “Sorry, that’s not for Kab, it's for a friend of mine.” Clown rolled his eyes and returned his vision to the front. Lycan looked back as well, growling.

“I won’t move for you either pissbaby.” Lycan spat in reply through Clown’s mouth, eyes fully narrowed. “I’m stalling for time.” Croslen’s eyes widened. His mouth moved.

“What-” he was cut off by a spear to the back of his neck. His breath hitched. Clown watched the figure that had trapped Croslen. The boy had bright multi-color feathers. His brown hair fell messily on his head and he wore an eye-catching amount of teal. There was a hatred burned into his expression when he faced Croslen that made Clown curious. 

“Hope you don’t mind, you have your backup, I have mine.” Clown was smirking, he took more control of his body and Lycan allowed him, sensing his intentions. Clown walked up to the terrified Croslen and snatched the gun from. Distantly he felt some tension leave his body. He stored the gun in his pocket and took his time releasing Kab, Rasp, and Mid right in front of him. The spear armed boy was smirking. Clown told his siblings to wait outside, they followed his order knowing this was not a point of argument. Mid kept looking back. He returned his gaze to Croslen, then to the boy. His wings vanished. 

“So what’s your name stranger?” He asked casually, as if he didn’t hold his abusive boss’s life in his hands. Clown had never met this boy but something told him if Clown asked him to put his spear to use, he would be inclined to do so. 

“Parrot.” He replied.

“Fitting.”

“So I’ve been told.” Parrot seemed to drain of tension, his eyes returned to Croslen briefly. The man looked between the two incredulously.

“So Parrot, how the hell did you get in the circus manager’s office?” The avian laughed.

“I’m assuming Lycan explained Primordials?” Clown nodded, eyebrow raised. “I’m an incarnate too. And a world hopper.” Clown’s eyes widened.

“So you can go from one world to the next?”

“If I need to. Like how I needed to help you and Lycan.”

“You have like a radar for that or…?” He held out the last word. Parrot laughed.

“Kinda I guess.” Parrot glanced down and pointed to Clown’s stomach. “Do you need some help with that ?” 

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Clown narrowed his eyes at Croslen. Parrot was matching his expression. The boy didn’t look at Clown when he spoke next.

“Do you want me to kill him?” He asked, face not changing. Clown thought it over. He made his decision.

“No.” Parrot shoved Croslen to the ground. Clown looked at the wall of weapons. A transleucent scythe caught his gaze. He held his hands out and the scythe became real. Red and black and silver laced the handle and Clown marveled. Parrot was unsurprised. Clown watched Croslen with disdain, walking menacingly toward the man. 

“I’d say It’s nothing personal but we both know that’s a lie.” He spat. Before Croslen could respond, Clown sliced the scythe into his stomach. He was dying now. The gash was a mortal wound, he wasn’t going to heal. Clown flipped him off. Stars above, that felt good. Parrot didn’t flinch at the death. He turned to the boy. 

“Ready to go?”

“Go where?”

“Not here.” Clown held his breath. His eyes left Croslen’s limp body. His shoulders slightly untensed, Clown sighed.

“Yeah.” They left, Clown’s entire life left behind in that wretched body. It was freeing.

“Clown?” Mid questioned her eyes furrowed at the sight of blood on him. Clown’s adrenaline was starting to wear off and his injury was very much making itself known. 

“Don’t worry, most of it’s not mine.” Her expression remained worried, scanning him for injuries other than the gaping elephant in the room. 

“We need to get you to a hospital.” She stated, rushing forward. Clown shook his head. Something told him he wasn’t getting out of this one. Parrot frowned. Clown felt something tug at his insides. 

“No need. This should stop the bleeding.” Parrot replied, making small finger motions. He was right. The blood had stopped flowing out. He stared confusedly. “I have a contact that can help us out, follow me.” The brunette opened a portal. Which wow, that was something Clown didn’t think he’d see. Sure he’d seen his share of nether portals but never one like this. The portal glowed a light teal, comforting almost. The four looked at each other, they had nothing to lose and Parrot had helped them. Maybe they could trust him. Lycan was absent from Clown at the moment but a voice told him to follow. To hell with it. 

They followed him inside. 

ParrotX2 joined the game

Midmisticx joined the game

ClownPierce joined the game

Kaboodle joined the game

Rasplin joined the game

The portal effects made him want to lurch but he was pretty sure if he did, his guts would go with him. They arrived on a plains biome. Strange structures had been crafted, towers, among us, upside down T’s…? Oh wait that was a dick okay. Parrot leaned him up against a rock, Clown felt his breathing gradually become more shallow. Mid’s shouting was quieter.

“…ird brain… losin…im!” More words—and swears— were said on his twin’s side. A pink portal opened which somehow silenced his sister. A woman with black hair and a kind smile met his eyes. A tingling was in his gut and suddenly he was regaining control of his body. His vision sharpened once more and he watched this strange woman somehow heal his wound. 

He wasn’t going to die?

That shouldn’t be real.

Clown always did like the taste of the impossible.

The four stuck around after that. Met a woman named Katherine—the one who healed him— and Parrot invited them to stay on his server. There was a divide. Mid wanted to, she had met some people already that she’d befriended and Clown was not opposed to staying either. Kab and Rasplin disagreed. 

Kab had seen the portals Parrot had made and became interested. The brunette informed her that it was a world hopping power that she could gain if she became an admin. Kab’s eyes lit up at that, Clown could see she had already made up her mind. Parrot informed her more about admin abilities and Kab was in love. Anyone could see it. He offered to give them all a semi-restricted ability to world hop and everyone agreed, Kab saying she was going to start up a server and become an admin. Parrot smiled at that. Clown was proud of her, he was sure Mid and Rasp were as well. 

Speaking of the boy, he also wanted to leave. Taking an interest in the idea of joining servers when Parrot had mentioned it. The younger of the four spent a few days saying goodbyes and promising to video chat and visit at least once a week. It was a quadruple pinkie promise that none of them intended to break. Mid cried when they left. Clown did too, he tried to hide it. Parrot walked up to him, handing him a repaired familiar mask. 

“Figured you might want this.” Clown nodded gratefully, shifting it back onto his face. The smile was comforting this time. 

This time he was free.