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John hated this part.
He hated calling his brothers and telling them one of them wouldn't be home for dinner that night, and maybe, they never would be. It would never get easier and, honestly, John hoped it never did. He never wanted to stop caring for them, he never wanted to get to the point where calls like this were read out in scripted lines, words empty and uncaring before turning to the next potentially life-threatening danger he was about to send his brothers into.
But he had to admit, it was easier when he was calling about Scott.
Scott was his older brother, the eldest in fact, and although John was sure his hair was going grey from the stunts he had pulled over the years, he knew that Scott knew how to get out of whichever situation he had found himself in. It stung when he had to tell the youngest two that their eldest brother may not come home, but the pair have never, not even for a moment, lost faith. Scott was able to pull of the most death defying acts and come out of with old a bruised upper arm and a scrap or two.
It seemed stupid to Gordon and Alan that Scott would one day never come home, after all, he always had before. Scott, on the other hand, would smile, ruff Alans hair, and give John the 'one-day' look. The eldest tracy, after years of facing down the worst disasters the world had to offer, usually occupied by the worst people, he had long since lost his faith in everything ending up okay in the end. Scott was perfectly aware that one he wouldn't come home and yet again, it would fall to John to tell the rest.
Which is why he hated when it was the other way around.
John signed as he swiped away another report showing the same thing; Alan's, and Kayos, chance of survival was dropping by the second. It would do no one any good to put it off any longer. The more time passed, the worse the situation became, which meant it was time to call Scott. He had called Scott exactly 3 times to inform him of one of their brother possible impending doom, Twice for Vigil and once for Gordon, but he had never called for Alan and he had never felt more lost for words than he did in this moment.
John wasn't the best when it came to human interaction, he knew that too, but he would have to be blind, deaf and on Neptune to miss that way Scott treated Alan. Not so much like he was made of glass, but more in the way that Scott knew he wasn't going to be able to protect him forever. It was going to be the worst call of his life.
"This is Thunderbird Five calling Thunderbird One. Are you receiving?"
Scotts voice, strained with god only knows how many lives he's saving right now, instantly replied. The standard greeting of "Thunderbird One responding. Whats the situation Thunderbird Five?" was nearly cut off by a shout and a curse from Scott as something cracked in the background.
John couldn't tell Scott like this, while the weight of more lives than just Alans potential rested on his shoulders. A short swipe with his left hand quickly rectified the situation as the alert the the GDF, drafted a few hours before, was pinged off to the Colonel. Thankfully, Scott was currently on an Earth quack rescue no more then half an hour flight from the GDF headquarters, there would be no excuse for delays today.
"GDF reinforcements have been sent to your location, Thunderbird One."
A grunt of displeasure echoed down the com for a second and then;
"Negative, Thunderbird Five, I can manage just fine here."
John winced, he couldn't say he partially liked the GDF getting involved either. But there was no time for that now.
"This isn't optional Thunderbird One. We have another situation."
A groan and something that sounded suspiciously like Scott throwing his head back in exhaustion.
"FAB. What's the situation?"
Johns throat closed over, this was the part when he was meant to tell Scott that Alan probably wasn't coming home and that Kayo was with him. This was where he was meant to initiate Protocol Broken Bird, sending the Island and the 'birds into lockdown. But fuck. Fuck.
There really was no other word for it. It was an unfair, unkind and frankly, fucking horrible, situation. Alan, his baby brother, who wasn't even seventeen yet. And it fell on Johns shoulders to tell his brothers that their youngest wasn't coming home tonight all the while he was the one that had sent him up there.
"Thunderbird Five? What's the situation?"
Fuck the entire fucking situation.
Johns voice cracked in his throat, twisting up out of his mouth as he addressed his eldest brother. Dread clawed at his stomach as the figures to his right slowly decreased along with Alan’s remaining time.
"I... 'otty... It's bad."
The childhood nickname slipped past his lips before he could stop it, long forgotten memories attached from a time where John struggled with his S's and C's, only ever pulled out to embarrass the pair on birthdays. It wasn't something that happened anymore, and hadn't happened in years.
Scott had hated it.
A deep sigh, and John felt heart sink deeper inside his chest. Scott still hated it, he knew, but the thing he hated more was nicknames in the middle of a rescue. It was both unprofessional and distracting, according to the eldest, and it was a sure fire way to shut down any potential incredibly important conversation that might need to happen. Scott was notorious for hanging up on people who annoyed him.
In other words, it was the last thing John needed when trying to tell Scott his baby brother may die today.
Another crack echoed over the coms as the silence stretched between the brothers. There was no true way to salvage this situation, especially not if Scott decided to just hang up. Although Thunderbird Five could easily bypass an unanswered com, using that power would only help John dig his littler hole even deeper. He had to hope that Scott would hear something in his voice, anything, and respond.
And then finally the com came to life again as Scotts far calmer tone spoke softly down the line.
"What do you need Johnny?"
Voice cracking over the com, John gave a final order to Thunderbird One.
"Just... Go home."