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Taking a deep breath, Adam stepped into the dining room, in which he found various Hotel residents busying themselves with their own tasks. Still, he was not the last to arrive, even despite his crisis. He labelled Angel, Cherri and Alastor to be the only ones missing. Lucifer was helping Charlie with something, but he wasn't sure what from across the room and he tried not to look too hard.
He neatened his robes and went to sit in his ascribed place he'd been given when the dining system was set up. They'd been having communal dinner in the Hotel not long after Adam was taken in, he assumed it was for some bonding thing, but the exact reason was never specified. Or it was and he'd just forgotten, or wasn't listening in the first place.
Worst of all, the seating arrangements had evidently been set up by someone who very much enjoys chaos, as he was positioned with Alastor to his left and Lucifer to his right. This was now a problem for an entirely different reason than it had been originally. Opposite his was Husk's place, which he didn't mind too much since he found Husk to be the most agreeable.
The chairs were far grander than they needed to be, all of them having high backs and took a great deal of strength to move. They were almost off putting, forming some sort of wall around the table, which Adam was reluctant to sit at on the best of days.
He had decided while walking down the stairs that he wouldn't speak unless asked a question over dinner, lest his voice failed him and gave away his recent mad infatuation with Lucifer. This policy didn't prevent his face betraying him, considering his close proximity to the Devil. Initially, he'd thought Lucifer's naturally rosy cheeks were stupid, but he later came to find them cute, and he was now seeing the advantage of them in the face of embarrassment.
Awaiting the arrival of the others, he sat at the table, rapidly bouncing his leg, either out of impatience or nervousness. Husk was the second to sit, having poured everyone's drinks, some alcoholic some not, followed by Angel and Cherri, who had recently entered the room together.
Alastor did not arrive at all before the food was brought out, a common occurrence. Soon enough, Nifty, Charlie, Vaggie and Lucifer emerged from the kitchen, each holding a silver tray stacked with food for the group. The general consensus was that the food looked delicious, but Adam thought otherwise, still being adjusted to Heaven's five star dishes. Lucifer sat down beside him, giving him a friendly smile. His return was awkward and stiff, yet he thought he pulled it off.
"Good evening everybody," Charlie began, her hyperbolic radiance already showing, "thank you, Nifty, for preparing this meal so graciously for us, your efforts are appreciated, what have we got today?"
Adam looked over to Nifty, who was barely visible above the table, but perfectly audible as she giggled and rasped out, "meat."
"There we go, meat for dinner, how nutritious. Let's eat up," she chose to ignore the possible implications of Nifty's answer, instead beckoning for everyone to begin eating. Adam always hated her little speech before meals, he considered them to resemble saying grace far too much for his liking.
They had no particular order to getting the food, mostly just a disorganised scramble for something that resembled a meal, throwing it into a pile on their plate, but at least they used cutlery. Adam himself never got much, he feared if he did it would only end up in the toilet later. His stomach was not acclimatised to the colourful pallets of Hell.
He tried his best to ignore how Lucifer's arm brushed against his when he reached over for the salt.
"I apologise for the tardiness, I was caught up in business," Adam inwardly groaned, sinking into his chair when he heard the static voice behind him. It was overly recognisable and frankly grating after only a short while, and yet its worst crime was belonging to the shit eating Radio Demon himself. His only consolation as he sat beside him was that he could also see Lucifer gritting his teeth out the corner of his eye. "My! Is this venison? You know me well, my dear Nifty."
He patted her on the head while the others had the sinking realisation of what they were eating. Shaking down any feelings of disgust he was having at the food, Adam put a bite in his mouth, trying not to taste it before he swallowed.
"Sooo, how was everyone's day?" Charlie asked, being less than subtle in diverting attention from Alastor's dietary habits, "Dad, I haven't seen you hardly since this morning, what have you been up to?"
"Oh, you know, nothing much, chillaxing mostly," it was not a lie, just an understatement. Adam's eyes remained firmly on his plate, however grotesque the picture. He feared his body's reaction to looking at Lucifer, even though he'd kill to do so more often.
"Adam?"
"Hm?" He forced himself to look at the princess.
"Have you done anything today?"
"I practiced my guitar a bit," he had picked up on Lucifer's reluctance to give the full truth, and decided to follow suit. He could not suffer mentioning Lucifer's name out loud, his uneasiness already seeping through his voice. He nibbled some of his food.
Why could he not have realised his attraction after dinner, or in the morning, where he had time to process it properly without seeming a goon?
The table fell into silence. Adam could feel that his presence was draining, and didn't too much mind the silence, as it was considerably easier than conversation. It was understandable why they'd be reluctant to talk around him, since he had tried to exterminate them every year for millenniums, he'd probably hold a grudge too. In fact, he did hold a grudge, since they had actually been successful in killing him. At least he had the decency to fail with his task.
Still, it was a lonely existence for him. Only three people ever actively made conversation with him: Lucifer, Charlie and
"So Adam, have you made any friends yet?" That patronising pig, Alastor. Adam glared at him taking a polite bite of his venison. What the fuck was he supposed to respond to that? Say yes and have everyone else deny that he even knew their name, or say no and look like a fucking loser.
"The fuck do you want to know for?" Nice one. He considered his aversion successful.
"I wouldn't want you to be all alone, its a long afterlife for that," Adam wished more than anything he could wipe the smug grin off the demon's face, "and now you've been cast aside by the one institution you thought you could trust..."
Before he’d even finished talking, Adam felt like storming off, like dramatically standing up and knocking the chair over. He understood now why the chairs were so heavy. Since he became powerless, this bitch did everything he could to remind him of it. He reassured himself that it was just his getting back at him for beating his ass so badly at the last extermination, but his words still stung, and they still got under his skin. A hand sat on his shoulder, its light touch sending a shiver through him.
"Leave him be," Lucifer spoke firmly. Adam flushed, but hoped he could conceal this with his anger. After all, he had no need to feel there was anything in the act, chances are Lucifer was also riled by Alastor's comment, or was simply playing the bigger man for Charlie.
"What? I'm only stating a fact."
"You know what you've done."
"So, Angel, what have you done today?" Charlie quickly changed topic, a direction that everyone was thankful for. Lucifer resumed his meal. Despite the rules, Adam leaned on the table, trying his best to hide the colour of his face while barely listening to Angel's reply.
That absolute shit, rubbing it into his face that he was an outsider. He bet, even though he had lost his power, status and wings, there were loads of things he was better than Alastor at. For example, he was willing to stake his existence that he could get loads more girls than him. He was the First Man, the chicks always dig that. It was his one brag and he had used it to high heaven in Heaven, although he couldn't be sure it worked here. Maybe not then. And for once in his existence, he had his eyes set more on quality than quantity.
"Are you okay, you got pretty worked up there," Lucifer whispered to him, his warm breath passing gently over his cheek. Adam could only bring himself to nod in return. This was humiliating; first his pride is shattered by the fucking Radio Demon, and now Lucifer's face is too close to him for comfort. He had to force his eyes to zone out before he got lost staring at his features, or just straight up kissed him, here at the dinner table, in front of everyone.
He put his hand on Adam's knee, "if you ever need anyone to talk to, I probably know the best what to say."
Adam largely and forcefully smiled, moving Lucifer's arm back to his own side of the table before he did something stupid, "I think I'll be fine."
"If you insist," the pair went back to their food, Adam paying attention to the taste of the carrots, hoping to distract himself from the rest of this whole situation. His eyes remained glued to his plate, tuning out the main conversation.
He had found himself in a unique predicament that only he could get himself into. The facts laid out simply were that he had feelings for the King of Hell, who more than likely, due to a multitude of disagreements regarding divine policy over the years, did not return said feelings, and despite having the highest body count in Heaven and Hell combined, Adam did not know how to change that. His affections were unfamiliar territory, different, although not entirely separate from lust. These were much more sincere, a longing for emotional and physical connection.
His wants, rather anomalously, extended further than a simple carnal desire. He wanted to understand Lucifer, to have himself be understood in return, every facet of him explored in detail, to have a connection that came from the soul. Their pasts both united and divided them. While having been opposing forces for thousands of years, they shared many experiences and hardships. They knew they had the power to tear each other down, but they were yet to try building each other up again.
Despite all this, only pride stood in his way, his inability to ask for help and admit his need for genuine and meaningful interactions. It humiliated him that he felt a desire to depend on someone other than himself. He was the only person in existence for some time, he should know better than anyone how to deal with things alone, to need another was a weakness. If asking for help got him closer to what he wanted, he was sure he'd live alone for the rest of his time in yearning and regret.
Love was fucking embarrassing.
He had been chewing on his carrots for an awful long time. Forcing them down, he glanced up, involuntarily meeting the eyes of Husk. He looked at him knowingly, a small smirk across his face. Adam simply glared back, hoping to disprove any of his suspicions with a look.
Shit, he cursed to himself. Even if it was only Husk with a fleeting suspicion of Adam's affection, the whole situation dramatically shifted.
It was embarrassing for him to have feelings for the King of Hell, and it was embarrassing for him to ever think about confessing those feelings, but it was miles more embarrassing for someone else to know about them and see he was too pussy to do anything about it.
He found himself here caught in a trap, being a slave to his own pride.