Chapter Text
I would like to firstly apologise to Sparkle. While digging my own grave.
Yes this is the middle of the Choose Your Own Adventure. Let’s do this.
Wielding two spoons, Black Swan attempts to fork Sparkle. She does her best to sprint away, but is blocked off by Tighnari. At this point, you
(Help Sparkle/Shoot Sparkle)
Anyway, you fail miserably and the scene continues to play out.
Dr Ratio sneezes, and two gigantic yellow pillars fly through the skies like two flocks of birds. They are blocked off by a diamond, causing them to diverge and hit two identical clock towers. Seele brings an rpg and gives it to you.
“Aim well. There will be heavy consequences for missing, trailblazer.”
Heavy? Hah, as if. We can break the rules of reality if we want to. They were definitely made to be broken. Except the trashcan protection act.
Raising your hand, you order a glass of Vodka from Bronie, before dumping it into a nearby trashcan, who appears pleased at this exchange.
Sushang picks up a pair of chopsticks, and attempts to pick one of the combatants up.
(Shout to Sushang, Pick Up Black Swan/Tighnari/Sparkle)
If you’re clever, you will know that your action didn’t change the story. Sushang misses and picks up Dr. Ratio. Using the height advantage, he topples a cauldron of soup and causes it to spill onto the floor. It scalds and badly burns Tighnari and Sparkle.
Cocolia begins to cough. Hurry up and use your rpg!
Oh right, we have an rpg.
Just as all hope seemed lost, Raiden Mei threw her cheese grater, missing Sparkle by a tenth of an inch and boxing her and Tighnari within.
Within the cheese grater, sounds of tussling could be heard. Then the Rejok arrives.
The Rejok sets fire to the set, burning everyone in the combat scene except Black Swan and Ratio (who Sushang released and fell into the hot soup), Tighnari and Sparkle. The water content of the soup kept them from burning while Black Swan levitated to safety.
At this point, Natasha arrives at the scene and thinking Cocolia is harming Seele, fires a cannon at her, causing the first minor character death (since this is the first released chapter although it is not the first chapter). Bronya, mistaking Natasha’s actions as attacking Seele due to the angle she was watching the events unfold, sends project bunny 0019 and ended up slicing Natasha’s head off.
At this point, you have a loaded rpg.
Just as Seele was about to avenge Natasha, a Nokia Bronie synthesised blocked her attack.
The sounds of tussling came to an end as the cheese grater flew off. They weren’t tussling! Sparkle and Tighnari had been working together to shoot the cheese grater off of them because they were burning alive in the hot soup together.
Senti begins scooping up the soup to sell to simps.
I regret writing this. I have killed off half the characters I need to develop the story and also added random kitchen utensils to the lore, I can already taste my own pain. This will be a positive and uplifting story.
Okay fine use the rpg. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
(Fire at the soup spill/Senti/the cafe/Bronya/don’t fire)