Work Text:
That evening, Pied Piper was more hectic than usual. Jared straightened his shirt for the third time, while Richard went around cleaning up the mess (who knew a house filled mainly with bachelors could accumulate so many snack wrappers?). Dinesh, Gilfoyle and Carla tried to be as presentable as possible and Erlich went on and on about how important this meeting was.
"This is CloudConnect, the biggest cloud service provider in the world. If we get this contract, Pied Piper would go straight through the roof. Then, the moon and whichever planets are in our way, right until we knock the sun out of place and we become the new sun."
"If we hit the sun, won’t we just get burnt?" Richard asked, ever so seriously.
"The point is, Richard, we can't screw this one up and we shall do whatever it takes to succeed."
The doorbell rang and Erlich jumped to get the door. "Welcome to Pied Piper, Mr. Westley."
"Just Ben, please." The man stepped into the house. "So this is where the magic happens, eh?"
"Yes!" Jared smiled excitedly. "All of these, it's magical, right?"
"It is." The man looked around. "It reminds me of when I’d just started CloudConnect."
"Is that why you asked to meet us here, instead of at your office?" Jared asked.
"Yes, it's very nostalgic," he then cocked his head. "I think I saw you at Techcrunch. You were the guy running around in the background, weren’t you? The gofer?"
"Well, you could call it that, although I prefer to say I take care of the management of everything..."
"I find how spirited you are... charming."
The rest of the team stared at the two of them while Jared smiled goofily, pleased.
"What is your name?"
"Jared. Donald. Dunn. I mean, you can call me Jared."
"Jared. Pleasure to meet you.," Ben smiled.
There was a period of uncomfortable silence for people who weren't Ben or Jared, before Erlich coughed and introduced himself and the rest of the company. Richard then took over, explaining the ways Middleout compression could be used in the CloudConnect system to make it more efficient. All in all it was a productive meeting.
"Alright, I'll take this to my team to further analyse. And Jared," Ben put his hand on his knees. "Would you like to discuss this further over a dinner?"
Jared looked confused. "Just me? Shouldn't you be discussing this with Richard? He's the CEO."
"I'm sure you can discuss it just fine, Jared." Erlich butted in. "You're the manager of everything. If anyone can discuss any parttopic of Pied Piper, it’s you." Erlich looked hard at him, trying to telepathically convey that Jared should accept Ben’s invitation.
Jared wasn't sure why Erlich was staring at him with bulging eyes, but he said, "Sure, I'd love to, Ben."
"Great!" Ben beamed. "I'll pick you up after work tomorrow at, around 6;, is that okay?"
"Sure."
"Alright. I'll take my leave now." Ben stood up.
"Oh, let me walk you to your car," Jared stood too.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Gilfoyle said, "Well, that was painful."
"He’s even worse than Richard at taking hints," Dinesh agreed.
"It was like watching those Korean dramas my girlfriend is crazy about. The girl is all doe-eyed staring at the male lead but completely oblivious about how he feels about her," Carla said.
"You have a girlfriend?" Erlich asked, trying to sound as casual as possible, while Dinesh and Gilfoyle muttered something about a bet.
"What the heck are you guys talking about, actually?" Richard asked at the same time.
"That guy is obviously crushing on Jared. Well, it’s obvious to everyone but Jared. And you, obviously," Erlich explained.
"What!?" then he realised something. "Wait. You're not saying we use this guy's feelings for Jared to get this contract, right?"
"Of course not, Richard. We're selling CloudConnect our Middleout compression technology. But if the CloudConnect president banging Jared will help smooth the way to that sale, then I say we all should help make it happen."
"Banging..." Richard eyes were open wide. "That is... This can't be ethical. It'll probably break some rules in the employer-employee handbook Jared carries around. It'll probably break some actual law!"
"Who's to say we aren't helping him?" Erlich said. "When else is Jared going to get the chance to hook up with the president of an industry-leading company? No offense, Richard, even if you're the president of this company, you're way out of that guy’s league."
Richard shook his head. "Is Jared even gay?"
Jared walked into the room and Gilfoyle shouted, "Jared, are you gay?" All eyes were on Jared, except Richard's, who was too busy staring (somewhat) angrily at Gilfoyle.
"Well, I prefer to say gender doesn't really concern me when I'm falling in love with someone."
Erlich gave Richard a stare that said it was the end of discussion. The shorter man cowered.
That night Richard stewed in guilt.
He gazed at the ceiling thinking of that Julia Roberts' movie and how it compared to Jared's current situation. What if it turns out like Pretty Woman, Richard thought. What if it was like the original script of Pretty Woman, where the rich guy dumps the hooker in the end? What if...
Richard had to talk to Jared.
He sneaked through Noah's backyard to his guest house, which Jared was "renting". From outside the door he could hear Jared sleep-talking in German. "Jared?" He knocked the door, but Jared continued his rant. Richard let himself in, making a mental note to tell Jared about locking his door. The guesthouse was just a small bedroom, so Richard walked to Jared's bed and tried to wake him up.
"Jared?" he shook him.
"Undichwerddeinekehledrchschneiden!" Jared suddenly sat up. Richard screamed and fell on his butt.
"Richard?" Jared asked half awake. "What are you doing here? Is there a fire?"
"You don't have to go with that CloudConnect guy if you don't want to!"
"What?"
"That guy. He probably just wants to, uh, get in your pants. You don't have to sleep with him to smooth this contract negotiation."
Jared tried to process all that was going on in this dream; it was getting more and more bizarre. He decided to wake up, but then realized that he was already awake. So it wasn't a dream.
"Care to explain?" Jared turned on the bedside lamp.
"That CloudConnect president. He was asking you on a date."
Jared was quiet for a moment before saying, "Oh. It makes sense now."
"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Richard added.
"Well. He seems like a nice guy. I want to go on a date with him."
"Oh."
"Is that all?"
"I... Yes, that is all. Good night, Jared." Richard said as he stood up and left the room, all the while convincing himself that everything was going to be okay.
-----
It was when Jared was eating his cereal in the kitchen the next morning that he remembered that conversation with Richard that might or might not have been a dream. Something about the president of CloudConnect wanting to get in his pants...
"Richard," Jared called as the man entered the kitchen, "this might sound weird, but did you break into my room last night?"
"I didn't break into your room. Well, not technically, anyway. It was unlocked- which you should fix, by the way. But otherwise yeah, I did go into your room last night. Um. I'm sorry?"
"Were we talking about the CloudConnect president?"
"Yes. Once again, you don't have to go on a date with him if you don't want to. We'll still get this contract. Hopefully."
As Richard left the kitchen, Jared stewed on the fact that he was going to go on a date.
His heart beat a little faster, and a little smile was plastered on his face throughout the day.
Six o'clock couldn't come fast enough, and as the hour approached, it was Erlich who fussed over him, talking about how important this was for the company, and how Jared should do "Whatever it takes!". Richard sat in the background, looking at them while biting his nails. Jared couldn't make out if Richard wanted to stop Erlich from talking, wanted to stop him from going, or was just having a bowel problem. He decided to leave him be.
At 6 o'clock there was a knock on the door. Jared quickly opened it pushed Ben back as he got out, just before Erlich could finish his shouts of "encouragement".
“Sorry,” Jared said, “they are a bit… excited about this date.”
Jared then realised what he said.
“Just to make sure, is this a date?” he asked Ben.
“Yes, it is,” the man answered, smiling. Jared smiled too.
They went to a small diner near CloudConnect’s headquarters. Jared noticed that there were many people with CloudConnect logos on their clothing greeting Ben by name.
“They serve the best burger in Palo Alto,” Ben said. “I eat here all the time.”
“You seem close to your employees,” Jared commented.
“Well, I don’t think of them as employees. More like family.”
“I feel like that with Pied Piper too,” Jared said.
“Aren’t we the lucky ones?”
“Yes,” Jared grinned. They talked some more about Pied Piper, CyberConnect and their lives. Before they realised it, hours had passed. After dinner they drove back to the Hacker Hostel.
“I really enjoyed tonight, Jared.” Ben said. “Would you like to go on a date with me again?”
“I’d love to,” Jared answered.
At that moment, Jared realised, he was feeling that feeling again. The feeling of being like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere took her shopping.
Jared was in love.
He took Ben’s hand and Ben kissed him and he knew, with all his heart, that this was going to be the beginning of something wonderful.