Work Text:
Leo glanced away for just a moment. Just a moment, but—
—That was enough.
By the time he looked back, Ooji was laughing loudly, triumphant, even as Izumi had tackled him to the ground. Arashi was kneeling next to him, mouth in a grim line. Ritsu was crouching down, muttering soft curses, next to...
Next to...
Tsukasa lay limp on the stage. His eyes were shut, and perhaps he could've been mistaken for being asleep if it wasn't for the pained expression on his face. He let out a soft noise as Ritsu pressed down harder on his chest, turning his face away.
"Tsukipi, rip off some of the cloth from the bottom of your outfit and give it to me." Ritsu's voice was tense and strained.
"Ah? Huh..." Leo's head was spinning.
"Tsukipi."
"Right!" Leo scrambled to follow Ritsu's instructions, tearing off some of the transparent cloth and passing it over. It felt like a waste, kinda, given how many people had put effort into making these.
But then again—
Leo glanced over and immediately regretted it, turning his head against the sickening nausea crawling up his throat.
—Then again, their king was more important.
Tsukasa Suou lay on the stage, his blood spilling out and soaking into the wooden supports, and Leo Tsukinaga stood there and felt his world turn upside down.
--------
They waited outside the operating room, all four of them—knights without a leader, praying anxiously that he'd be okay. Izumi was pacing around the room in frustration, while Leo's leg was jittering in his attempt to stay still. Arashi kept glancing between the door and the three of them, and even Ritsu looked weirdly awake for this time of day.
Leo wanted to get up and start singing or something, break the tension. But he felt too numb to do anything. It was like his heart had frozen in his chest, seeing Suo splayed there on the ground, red splattered over him.
Leo had always liked red, because that was Suo's color. He didn't know if he'd be able to keep liking it anymore.
How long would it take for the doctor to come out and tell them Suo was gonna be okay? Because that was what they were gonna tell them, right? Suo had to be okay, or else Leo didn't know what he'd do.
If it scars or doesn't heal right...can he even be an idol anymore? Naru had said that, worried, before Izumi had hushed her in a rush. Of course he could be, how couldn't he? Their princesses would have to accept him, and he'd heal fine anyways—he was their king, after all. There was no other choice!
Sena had sounded scared too, though. Leo could tell that much, after all these months.
He sighed, leaning onto the closest person, who turned out to be Naru.
"Naru..." His voice was deflated, but Arashi didn't pay much attention to that as she stroked his hair.
"What is it, Leo-kun?"
"Is it my fault? That Suo got hurt?"
"Of course it isn't—" She began.
"It's my fault," Ritsu interjected, voice more bitter than Leo had ever heard it. "I was the one who got too into playing the villain and provoked that guy too much," Ritsu nearly hissed when referring to Ooji, "So it's because of me he went for Suuchan. Even though Suuchan was trying to handle the situation, still..."
"Yeah, it's your fault. Both yours and Leo-kun's." Where Ritsu's voice was dripping with self hatred, Izumi's was nearly emotionless. He turned towards the two of them, striding up to them where they were sitting.
"Izumi-chan, calm down—" Arashi began.
"How do you expect me to calm down?! When because of these idiots, Kasa-kun is getting surgery done, and we don't even know what's going to happen to him. What if he dies in that operating room, all because the two of you decided to go abandon Knights and deal with some other group's problem?! Do you think I care about any of those guys anymore, after they're why Kasa-kun is here too? If you'd just stayed with Knights it would've been fine! But now everything's a mess because you had to go interfere with other people!" Izumi's voice cracked near the end, and he turned away abruptly. Not fast enough to hide the tears from Leo, though.
He felt empty. Right, Sena was right as always. It was Leo's fault, because Leo had been stupid and thought everything would work out fine, because he'd told Suo he wouldn't think of him as invincible anymore and went and did it anyways.
If he'd just listened, then this wouldn't have happened, maybe. But he couldn't just ignore the ex-chess members and their former juniors, could he? They were all people, too, all with their own dreams and things they loved—Leo had to atone for what they'd done and let their dreams bloom, so everything wouldn't get soaked up by blood again.
But. Suo was the one lying in a puddle of blood instead.
Then...huh? Did he go wrong from the beginning? But could he really abandon those guys? They were innocent too, after all, and he loved them too. He couldn't have just left them, right, not when he could've helped?
But Suo hadn't left them. He'd tried to help them too, just without abandoning anything. Where Leo had wanted this to be a fixed match, for the people he loved to give up their name of Knights—even if it was a wound they could have survived, Tsukasa had refused to let Knights bear it. Because even if it was just a name, it was a name he'd come to cherish, a place he wanted to protect.
So Tsukasa had reasoned with them, one by one, till it was just Ooji and Ryuji left on stage. But still...no matter how much Tsukasa reasoned with him, having faith in his former junior and being willing to raise him up again, Ooji was too overwhelmed by hatred. That type of terrible, choking thing had clawed into him and caused him to lash out at Tsukasa.
But...who'd been the one to plant that thing inside him? Who'd told him it was fine if he just took over Knights?
"You're right, Sena. It was my fault that Suo got hurt." Leo could barely hear himself over the rushing of blood into his ears, but it didn't matter.
"Leo-kun—"
"I'm gonna get a drink." He shook off Arashi's comforting hand—he didn't deserve it, anyways. Not after all of this was his fault.
No. He'd said it was because he'd thought Suo was too strong, not backing him up right, but the real mistake had always been thinking of him as weak. Leo had gone behind his back to do lots of stuff, thinking it'd be better if he just dealt with all those matters without putting an extra burden on Suo.
He still remembered barging into Suo's room at the end of SS Prelims, after all. Their competition had finally wrapped up, and Leo had rushed over, excited to be with Knights again and show them the new music he'd created. And instead he'd found Suo alone, dull and empty eyed, rotting away in a room. Leo couldn't stand it, the way he seemed so broken, the pain practically pulsing off of him.
It was too familiar. So familiar that Leo had had to block out the thoughts under the prelims were over, just to get through it. But he'd thought plenty plenty once it was done, turning that image over and over and over in his mind.
So basically, it was Leo's fault. Then too. Because Leo had made a promise to Suo that he'd come and save him if it ever got too much, that he'd scoop him up and put him in a safe place no matter who protested.
And even though he'd meant it, turns out Leo was a liar anyways. Because while Suo was suffering Leo hadn't even known, because he'd been far away, too far to save him. So the crown had weighed too heavy on his still small head, and it had broken.
Leo pulled out some coins from his pockets. He'd forgotten he'd had them stashed there, but it was a good thing, wasn't it? At least now he could actually get a drink to get back—he wouldn't be a liar again.
He stared at the machine, until his vision blurred. Just looking and looking, unable to figure out what he was searching for. No: Leo slapped his hands against his cheeks, forcing himself to focus. He inputted a number by sheer instinct, and leaned to scoop up what he'd gotten, only to stop and stare.
Strawberry milk.
He'd meant to get coffee, but...this was probably better, anyways.
Leo ripped open the plastic on the straw with his teeth and then shoved it into the carton, sucking it vigorously. The taste was sweet—too sweet, actually. How did Suo stand this kind of stuff?
...He kept drinking.
But...now that Leo thought about it, Suo had kept moving anyways, hadn't he? Leo was the one who couldn't, who'd been paralyzed by the fear, so he'd shoved Suo away and tried to handle the whole thing himself. He'd pushed too hard into making Suo the king, keeping his distance and all, that he'd decided to lean back the other direction, making decisions he had no right too.
He could still remember how hurt Suo's expression had been, when Leo had refused to come back to Knights after joining King Slayers. Suo had pleaded with him, being willing to even give up the crown if that was enough to bring him back.
Suo had called himself weak.
And Leo had agreed, both internally and aloud. Because he'd decided already, that the Suo who wanted to protect the things he cared about without hurting those he'd loved...was weak.
That was why he'd messed up, huh? Even though Suo could always understand him, Leo was the one who'd gotten lost along the way.
It really was his fault. Leo's hand clenched around the carton, then he looked down in horror, immediately relaxing his grip. He paused for a moment, checking around his costume and frowning at the lack of pockets, before tucking it inside the belt of the coat...thing.
There was probably a fancier word for it. Maybe he could ask Suo, when he got better.
When Leo finally returned to the room, the mood was grim. Izumi had finally settled down on one of the hard seats, but his eyes were shadowed and he stared fixedly at the ground. He looked up briefly just to see that it was Leo entering before looking back down, eyes glaring at nothing.
Ritsu was murmuring something under his breath, though Leo couldn't make it out. The look on his face was enough to give him a hint that it was some sort of curse, though.
Leo almost wanted to speak up, to tell him not to hate Ooji so much. After all, Ooji had just been driven by the pure love for his brother, who'd in turn been broken because of his own pure love.
But then Leo remembered Tsukasa's broken body on the ground. And he fell silent.
And Arashi...her hands were clasped together in a mimicry of prayer, eyes squeezed tight. If Leo listened closely, he could tell she was whispering something too..."please, please, Tsukasa-chan..."
He couldn't bear to look at her any longer. Instead, he took a seat in the middle of the three of them and just stared sightlessly into the empty air, the four original Knights holding their own lonely vigils for the one who had brought them back together.
Leo wasn't sure how much longer it took until the door finally opened. It took a while, he thought, or maybe that was just his imagination from how tense he'd gotten, just waiting. He looked up at the nurse who exited, both hopeful and scared.
For a moment, as she began speaking, his ears roared, the pulse of his blood whiting out her words.
What if it'd been bad enough that Suo couldn't have been saved?
How could he live on, in that sort of world?
But in a moment, the rush faded, and he was able to make out her words.
"—No lasting complications, and he's awake as well. He is able to take visitors, but only one at a time, so please decide on who will go first."
"I'll go," Leo spoke up quickly before anyone else could, his voice hoarse.
"Leo-k—!" Izumi's voice faltered when Leo actually turned to face him, though Leo didn't know exactly why. He didn't care, though. He needed to see Suo. He needed to apologize, even if he knew he definitely shouldn't be forgiven.
With no further protests, Leo followed the nurse out of the room. He'd thought they'd be going in through the double doors, but instead they took a strangely convulted route until they finally arrived at a white door. The nurse knocked once, waiting, and opened the door up when no answer came.
And there he was.
Suo, looking tired, but speaking clearly with another nurse inside the room. Leo could barely breathe as he felt a symphony stir inside him, the chords of a broken melody finally awakening, at just the sight of Suo's serious face, talking and moving.
"Go on," the nurse urged him. He realized he'd just been standing there, staring, and he stumbled in. But he couldn't get himself to move any further.
Not until Suo looked over at him, a gentle, curious smile blooming across his lips. "Leo-san? What are you doing?"
"Suo," His name spilled out of Leo's lips without prompting, but he couldn't make himself continue on any further. Luckily, Tsukasa carried on the conversation himself.
"Why are you carrying around a carton of...strawberry milk? Could that be for me?" Excitement sparkled in Tsukasa's eyes, making him look younger and more innocent than he usually did.
"Sorry, Suo, I already drank it..." Leo felt worse than he already did, crushing Tsukasa's hopes like that. He should've ran and gotten another carton, or not drunk this one in the first place...
"Ah? Then I'm not certain why you still have it in your possession, but actually, it seems I am meant to avoid such foods for at least a day while I continue to heal. How vexing." A light pout settled on Tsukasa's lips, and yet it was far better than the disappointment or anger Leo had been anticipating.
But... "Suo. Shouldn't you be angry?"
"Angry? At Ooji-kun, do you mean? I am, a bit, but there's no point in indulging in such thoughts at this point. After all, it seems I will recover smoothly, and is that not enough?"
Of course it wasn't enough, not when Suo had been hurt, when his blood had indelibly marked such an important stage for them.
But that wasn't what Leo had meant.
"No. I mean, Suo, I messed up, didn't I? Shouldn't you be angry? It's my fault, isn't it?" Leo looked up at Suo reluctantly, cowed by his fear, and yet what he saw was contrary to his expectations.
Suo was still smiling, gently.
"It's not your fault, Leo-san. Though you oughtn't have done all that you did, you repented and rejoined us, didn't you? Then it's all been forgiven, and regardless, nothing has occurred. So please, forget it."
"But—" Leo's voice cracked and he stopped on that single word, suddenly exhausted. He looked up at Suo pleadingly instead, hoping that what he meant could somehow be conveyed through the force of their expressions instead, when words had failed him once again.
"Do not worry. Even I have stumbled, and even so, all of you accepted me, didn't you? So though you may have made errors, so have all of us. As long as we are still able to come together, as long as we remain Knights, the rest is unnecessary to dwell upon."
As long as we remain Knights...
Right. It was because of Tsukasa that they could still stay Knights, even when Leo had tried to sacrifice that name for the sake of his own quest of atonement.
Even though it was no longer his name to sacrifice...
Leo looked up at Tsukasa, the former king meeting eyes with his successor.
And Leo knelt down, onto the cold, hard tile, bringing a hand to his chest.
"Suo. I told you if it came down to it I'd let you run to a safe place, didn't I? But I get it now. Even if it gets difficult, you won't run away and leave us behind."
"So instead, let me promise you this. I won't leave you alone, alright? If you're stuck in your own thoughts or you're facing a huge crisis, just call out to me and I'll come, no matter where I am."
"That's my oath, from a knight to a king. Will you accept it, Suo?"
"Of course." Tsukasa's voice was gentle, but his smile was wider than Leo had ever seen it, overflowing with joy.
And even though Leo was bad with people and things like this, that was enough.
He could tell, somehow, this time—he'd made the right choice.
And now that he had, he'd never go back on it again.