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Charlotte layed down on her bed, passing her blunt to me. I look down at her blowing the smoke out of her mouth and closing her eyes. After a while, she peeked through the corner of her eyes and sticked out her tongue at me. “Got a staring problem?” I didn’t realize thats not how long you look at a friend. I laugh it off and pass the blunt back while i lay down next to her. We turn on our sides to look at each other, but Charlotte bursts out laughing almost immediately. “DUDE YOU SHOULD SEE HOW FUCKING RED YOUR EYES ARE” She screams, rolling around on the bed. “Shut up. So are yours.” I laugh back at her. “Yeah whatever.”
I blow smoke out of my mouth and stare at her face. I know this is my moment. Somewhere in my body I knew it’d be horribly selfish but the overwhelming amount of ecstasy filling my body is screaming louder volumes. I wish she’d know how long ive wanted to just touch her face. Charlotte shuffled around uncomfortably and pulled out her phone.
“Charlotte?”
She looked up from her phone. “Yeah?”
“Can I tell you something?”
I am ready to do it. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and my palms are getting sweatier. I reassure myself I want to go through with this.
“Yeah. I wanna tell you something too.”
My heart skips a beat.
“You know… I’m not the best with words or anything like that.” She pauses and sighs. “I just wanted to let you know I really appreciate you being my friend. I just feel like I don’t tell you that enough.”
She turns to look at me. It’s taking everything in my body to not start crying right here. I can’t help but let a tear roll down my cheek. I really fucking hope she didn’t notice.
“What were you gonna say?”
I try to say something but I can’t get a word out of my throat. It’s like I got frozen in time.
“Uhm.”
I sit up and look back into her eyes, the sunlight hits her eyes just right to make me start crying.
“Did I say something wrong?” She says, with panic in her voice. She crawls over and sits next to me, putting her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry if I did. I really didn’t mean to—“
“No, you didn’t.” I wipe my tears away and force a smile onto my face. “I really appreciate you saying that.”