Chapter Text
From finishing a hardcore mission, Mo Ran decided he should celebrate it by drinking. Of course not inside their sect, but outside instead, with Shi Mei and Xue Meng.
“Hey, Mo Ran. Why are we going to drink again?” Xue Meng asked.
“Because, we won! We finished the hard task with ease!” Answered by Mo Ran.
When they arrived, Mo Ran instantly ordered the shop’s strongest wine and became drunk after finishing the bottle.
Xue Meng left early because he had to train early the next day, so only Shi Mei and Mo Ran were left behind.
“A-ran, you’re drunk already. Let’s go back now.” Shi Mei tried to coax the drunk boy.
But before Mo Ran could answer, Xue Meng came back.. But with their Shizun? Just when Chu Wanning was about to get angry, Mo Ran said.
“Oh, Shi Mei how are you this kind? It’s cute.” And at once, Chu Wanning’s movement stopped. It seemed like he was lost in his own thoughts.
Mo Ran? Yeah, he likes Shi Mei. Not Chu Wanning. He’s cute and innocent. Unlike Shi Mei, he’s distant, cold and abusive. Why would Mo Ran care for him? Wait. Didn’t Mo Ran hate him for the punishments he had received from Chu Wanning? That’s right. Mo Ran does hate Chu Wanning.
“Mo Ran, why are you drunk?” Their Shizun asked instead of hitting him.
“Oh? Shizun, why are you here? Are you going to ruin this ripened chance for me once more?” Drunk Mo Ran glared at him.
It hurts, it really does. Seeing your loved one loving another person instead of you. Sacrificing everything yet that person is still the one he cares about. The pain is really intolerable but can be hidden at the same time.
Mo Ran should not waste this chance, it was only right of Chu Wanning to leave. Leave them to be together, alone. Together.
Chu Wanning left with no other words leaving his three disciples alone, away from him. He just had to go back and lock himself up in his room to work on his robot rather than giving attention to those who doesn’t really need him anymore.
“Shizun?..” Mo Ran got a little sober and looked for Chu Wanning.
“Congratulations Mo Ran, you successfully chased out Shizun from punishing you today for drinking. Congrats. Really.” Xue Meng then took his leave.
“Shizun, left?” Mo Ran asked.
“Yes, he did. When you said about ruining another chance. What was that about A-Ran?” Shi Mei was curious.
“Ah- Shi Mei, do you like someone right now?”
“Yes, I do. I guess.”
“Do I know him?”
“Oh yes you do.”
“Is it me?”
“You? No. It’s someone else.”
Mo Ran felt the world cave in. Shi Mei likes someone? And it’s not Mo Ran? Is it Xue Meng? It couldn’t possibly be.
So why does Shi Mei act so intimate with him? Why? Is it really just his kindness? ...or pity?
Mo Ran couldn’t take it any longer, so he ran, ran away from where he got drunk. Far from anyone he knew. No one should see him this vulnerable, no one should...
He still has to pick up pieces of his broken heart and straighten his thoughts in this half-drunk half-sober state. Nothing else would matter unless someone tries to help him and comforts him. Only Shi Mei could do that, only Shi Mei did.
He finally stops to catch his breath yet he is far from the village but somehow close to the sect. He walked a few more meters as he heard water splashes, it seems like there’s a river nearby and someone or something was currently playing there.
The moment he arrives was the moment his breath was taken away from him. It was his Shizun, taking a bath? Playing in the water?
He tries to come closer but he was also afraid that he’ll interrupt this little moment of peace his Shizun had. This was the first time he had actually seen his Shizun act so....immaturely?
The longer he watched, the more he was amazed, the more he unconsciously calm down. His heart was slowly being fixed with the view he was inwardly enjoying. But all good things come to an end. Chu Wanning leaves the river and went back to his own pavilion.
———
The next morning, Mo Ran got the worst hangover he had ever experienced. The splitting headache plus the secret rejection was filling his poor mind. Not to mention he was a little bit of injured from the former mission but he managed it and told the two he’ll take care of it himself.
And so, he tend to the wound and went out for the not so late breakfast he’ll be having.
After the breakfast, he went to the Red Lotus Pavilion, of course to explain to his Shizun to pardon his punishment as he is still injured.
He knocked, knocked and knocked but no one answered. Did his Shizun feel attacked to his words last night? Did he go to a mission? Did he announce he’ll be in seclusion once more? Those weren’t impossible but still, he knocked until Xue Meng came.
“You dog! What are you doing here?”
“I-i was just knocking, is there a problem?”
“Of course there is! Didn’t we all agree for a joint training today this week?”
Mo Ran was dumbfounded. The door wasn’t answered because Chu Wanning was waiting for him on the training grounds!
“I forgot..”
“We all expected you to forget, so the training was rescheduled for tomorrow.”.
Mo Ran was relieved so he said his thanks and went back to his room to take a well-deserved rest.
———
The next day was the most tiring. Although yesterday was a blast, today was... Exhausting. Instead of being whipped as always, he was tasked to clean the Red Lotus Pavilion in and out. For drinking. JUST for drinking. He was mad but was happy he didn’t acquire more injuries to add to his list.
The next place he was going to clean was the library, where Chu Wanning was busying himself through the afternoon.
“Shizun, do you like someone?” That was it. The question was the last thing he would’ve asked but it was also the first thing he thought about.
"Even if I do, does that matter? I'm cruel and old anyways." It seemed like his Shizun was avoiding the yes or no question.
Old? His face detests that. "Of course it matters! Shizun, don't you want a family with the person you'll love someday?" Mo Ran pushes questions more, step by step, walking closer to the older man. "Family.. I am already content with what I have right now. And besides, he hates me" The final words seemed to slip from Chu Wanning's mouth in a whisper, thankfully for Mo Ran, he got close enough to hear it.
He hates Shizun? HE?
Mo Ran realizes that his Shizun might be a cutsleeve yet the person he loves hates him. But who would even love a cold-hearted man? Such a waste for his ethereal beauty, it takes people's breath away– his body is cool to touch, and his scent–But why is Mo Ran even thinking of this? He's just. Just a disciple of Chu Wanning, nothing else, nothing more.
"Shizun, do you perhaps like a Man?" The question slipped out and Mo Ran felt like it was the end of his world. Why the fuck did I say that?!
"Does it matter if a person likes the same sex rather than the opposite? As controversial as it is, I have no problem with it." Chu Wanning replies, waiting for Mo Ran's voice to continue. Why wait when I can just leave.
"Thank you for your time Shizun. I'll continue my cleaning now." Mo Ran bows as he leaves the section and goes to another corner. Mo Ran also became busy, but not because of the punishment, but because of his Shizun's words. How painful must it be to know that the man you love hates you? But can he even feel pain?
A few hours passes by and Mo Ran finishes, he says his farewell and goes back to his room to rest, hopefully. The next thing he knew was that sleep was calling out to him, so he closes his eyes and welcomes.. A dream?