Work Text:
Little Things
As if transporting into another world after dying wasn't enough. Somehow, Satou Kazuma found himself inside a world that is within another world by a push of a button. To make matters more contrived, this world was exactly like his first world. Inception could eat its heart out.
And the more Kazuma was in this school, the more he was reminded why he became a shut-in recluse in the first place. Although, the complete lack of preppy girls with an overinflated ego made it slightly less bad than the last time.
If only Aqua didn't end up being ten times worse than all of them combined.
Needless to say, Kazuma had a quick rebuttal for Aqua, a good punch on the top of her head set her straight. He was given quite a few disgusted looks from how he handled the situation.
Contrary to popular belief, he didn't hate women. He believed that men and women should be treated like equals. To summarize, Kazuma wasn't one to pick fights, but he was more than willing to accept any challenge from any gender.
For now, Kazuma just wanted to relax. He sat on the bench on a hill that overlooked the entire school's track field. The moment of silence, along with the view and lunch was absolutely therapeutic.
"Satou Kazuma, isn't it?"
"Eh?" Kazuma turned around, clearly annoyed at whoever was interrupting his tranquility. His feelings slightly changed when he saw it was their class leader, a silver haired half elf named Emilia.
He didn't know much about the girl. She was pretty and kind, and the folk in her world didn't like her very much. Apparently, people there saw her as a big, bad witch. That was about it. He voted for her as class representative, but it was mostly just to spite Aqua.
"Yeah, I'm Kazuma. That's my name. Don't wear it out." His shoulders were sagged down while he drank his prune juice.
"That's a relief." Emilia placed a hand on her chest, fortunate that she did not embarrass herself. "I have so many names I need to remember now and I'm not quite sure if I got the gist of it yet."
"Well, I'm Kazuma and the three girls with me are called useless, useless and even more useless. There. I saved you a lot of time."
She looked a bit shocked but asked anyways. "They must be quite troublesome. I've watched you all arguing earlier."
"Lady, you don't know the half of it!" He could only close his eyes, wishing that he maxed out on luck earlier, so he didn't end up like this.
"I see..." Emilia said, holding her lunch bento box. "If Kazuma-san wants to, I'll be more than willing to lend an ear."
He raised an eyebrow, wondering what her intentions are. "Sure, help yourself out. Break a leg."
"Break a leg?" Emilia donned her head sideways, looking completely bewildered. Him and Subaru have an odd way of speaking. Funny enough, they both dressed the same, albeit with green instead of black and orange tracksuit. "Why would I need to break my leg?"
"No, it's a figure of speech. I don't mean it literally! It's-" He moved away to make space for Emilia on the bench. "Here."
She sat beside Kazuma. "I think I have some notion on what you meant Kazuma, so let's chew through the fat and break many legs."
Kazuma gave her a weird look. "...Let's just chat."
Emilia nodded and smiled. "Right. That's what I said."
She opened her bento box to see what Puck had made for her while attentively listening to Kazuma's story.
"Not really much could have been said about me when I was still alive. It was an uneventful but a peaceful life. I wouldn't trade it for the world. One day, a video game came out, so I decided to take my lazy ass out..."
And so, Kazuma told her all about his misadventures. From how he had met the Goddess of Water Aqua up until the first Demon King Generals' death and how they had accumulated so much debt. Of course, he left out some minor details like him being a pervert and especially regarding his real death. He still found it hard to believe his parents laughed when he wetted himself. Aqua was definitely messing with him.
"Should I go talk to Aqua for you?" She placed her hands on her hips. Emilia felt like it was her responsibility since she was the class representative.
"No, trust me. I tried many times." It was mostly his fists that did the talking. Kazuma dismissively waved his hand. "Do yourself a favor. Don't ever argue with Aqua. She'll drag you down to her intelligence skill level, then beat you with experience."
Emilia looked distressed. "But I don't want you to suffer Kazuma. It's my duty to make sure everyone here has fun."
"Trust me, my life hasn't been fun in the slightest! You ever tried sleeping in a stable? Let me rephrase that, you ever tried to sleep in a stable while Aqua snores and kicks you awake? The place smells like shit and there's even a cold draft that comes in!"
"Well..." She couldn't say she had. Emilia was grateful for her tree house in the frozen forest. The house was cozy and with enough wood and kindling, she was more than willing to stay there forever.
On a related note. "Aqua is a lot like those crystals in the Elior Forrest. They're in a harsh place but they still shine."
There's no way anyone could be this naive. Heck, Aqua could probably bamboozle her into joining the Axis Church.
"Come on, Emilia. You probably think everything is just some Fairy Tale and all people have good in them!"
"That's not true!" Emilia raised her hands in defense. "I know people can be evil. The problem is that some good people mean well, they just don't end up doing well."
Emilia looked down at her swaying feet, she lamented her own shortcomings and failures.
'I didn't think of it like that...' Upon this realization, Kazuma stared up at the sky, simply spotting clouds. Aqua wasn't really equipped for the circumstances he threw her in. "When you're given the bad cards, we've been dealt with what can you do really."
She knew the answer to this. Emilia pumped up her fists. "You do what you can."
Emilia smiled at Kazuma. "Puck says the real friends are the ones who stay with you during dark times! You fight a lot, but you all stayed together no matter what, right?"
"Well, if you put it that way..." He wasn't convinced yet.
"Instead of asking what Aqua did wrong, Kazuma should ask: What did Aqua do right!?" Emilia encouraged him on.
She lost him there. "Sorry, can't think of anything."
Emilia furrowed her eyebrows. His insincerity frustrated her. Kazuma immediately had that response. "Dummy, you didn't even give it some thought!"
Kazuma groaned, rolling his eyes. Maybe he'll humor the half elf. "Fine! Okay! God, you're worse than my mom!"
He looked away. "...Aqua has a nice smile."
"Mhmm! Go on!" Emilia's face was beaming.
Kazuma groaned. This girl was seriously pushing her luck. "She's a great drinking buddy. The pubs would be dull without her and all her useless, stupid antics. She held my hair when I threw up rainbows."
"...when I thought I was going to die again, she let me rest my head on her lap, which was very warm in the cold."
"Her damage might be a mixed bag, but she's a great healer. Aqua can also purify anything. It's great when you're stuck in a swamp for days and thirsty."
"Megumin's attack is absolutely devastating. She can take down foes in one shot. She has a nice smile too. I feel like I can take on the Demon King with my start up gear for her. Lalatina is an absolute beast and it's crazy how much hit points she can take. It's also fun to tease her."
"If I had to be stuck with a group of idiots, I'm glad it's with them."
Maybe she was right. Maybe there was a silver lining to everything.
He couldn't believe he was confiding this to a girl he barely knew. Kazuma hoped that the half elf leader was satisfied with the answer now. "Did I pass?"
"With flying colours!" Emilia winked. "Through thick and thin, friends always stay together."
Kazuma took a quick glance at Emilia's bento box. It had a variety of things. Suddenly, he heard a growling noise. Opening up like that to someone left him with an empty stomach.
"Uh, what do you have to eat?"
"Peach plum rice ball! They're very yummy!" Emilia closed her eyes trying to savor the deliciousness. It was the perfect combination of sweet, salty and sour. "And you, Kazuma?"
He took a sip from his bendy straw. "I had potato chips earlier. That's about it really."
"Oh no, that won't do at all!" Emilia waggled her index finger. "You're a growing boy like Subaru, Kazuma. You need a nutritious meal!"
"Well, I prefer to sleep late in the mornings and Darkness carries me to school, so I never really have the time to prepare lunch."
Emilia took the onigiri and passed it to Kazuma. The act of kindness surprised the neet to such a degree that he almost fell over the bench. He tore open the empty bag of potato chips and allowed the half elf to place it on top.
Her generosity didn't end there. She also gave him four omelet rolls and a sweet red bean bun for dessert.
He just looked at it. In his Gods filled world, people were ironically Godless. Kazuma waited for the half elf to give her stipulation for being so charitable. Only she never did. Emilia continued to eat her portion of food, singing about what an amazing father the grey-haired spirit Puck is.
Kazuma let his skepticism pass, grabbing the food and eating it. It was true what they said about home cooking being the best. It just filled that void where junk food failed. Neither of the two said anything else until the school bell rang.
Emilia stood up and did her stretching exercise. Ready to tackle the rest of the day with a full stomach and a lot of energy. "I hope we can become the best of friends, Kazuma!"
Kazuma merely nodded. "Sure."
"One more thing." Emilia said. "Puck."
On cue a floating cat with an overly long tail and a golden earing appeared out of thin air. "Yes, Lia. Is something the matter? Is this guy bothering you?"
Puck puffed out his chest, trying to appear bigger than his usual size. He glared at Kazuma, who only raised his eyebrow at the spirit's intimidating technique.
"Don't be silly Puck. I just want to borrow your bag really quick!" Emilia took Puck's tiny purple handbag that was slung on his furry shoulder. She took something out and walked to Kazuma.
Emilia took his wrist and placed that item on his palm. She then closed his hand with her hand. "I know it's not much, but please use this to help with your outstanding debt!"
Emilia patted Kazuma's chestnut colour hair. "You're a good guy, Kazuma."
She went on her merry way, accompanied by her Puck, leaving Kazuma completely stunned. In his hand was a single 100-yen coin. She was right but yet that small gesture filled him with such plethora of emotions. He nearly broke down, bawling like a baby.
"Emilia really is an angel!"
Kazuma walked into the classroom in an infinitely better mood then when he walked out before lunch break. Aqua, Megumin and Darkness were surprised by this revelation. He sat down in front of them and said nothing about the fight they had. Aqua was expecting to be beaten over the head. Darkness was disappointed, wishing she was the one to endure such excruciating pain in her stead.
Aqua and Megumin gave each other concerned glances, wondering what shifted the tides.
"Kazuma, is it okay if I sit next you? I kind of-sort of forgot my textbook at home." Viktoriya said. The blue-eyed beauty smiled nervously, hoping Tanya Degurechaff wouldn't hear her. She'd no doubt court martial her subordinate.
He shrugged. "Okay but History isn't my strongest subject so I can't help."
The military uniform dressed girl was beyond ecstatic to hear. "No worries. It just so happens that it's right up my alley! I will help you!"
Viktoriya explained it in simpler terms. Kazuma was listening to the potato lover. The two were getting along well, too well. This was annoying Aqua who always relished in the hiki neets suffering. It didn't help that it was transpiring right in front of her, almost as if he was rubbing it in her face.
Aqua's arms hung over her desk. The blue haired goddess brain had long stopped working before the class even began. "Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma."
Despite her best attempt, Kazuma went on to discuss the work with Viktroyia.
Megumin crossed her arms. The crimson mage had a scowl look. "Kazuma is ignoring us. I guess he's too good for us now!"
"One second Visha." Kazuma sighed, finally turning his attention towards his party members. "Yes, I'm Kazuma and no I am not ignoring any of you. You're interrupting us and it is rude."
It was done in such a formal way; it caught them off guard.
"Are they friends of yours Kazuma?" Viktoriya smiled.
Kazuma clicked his pen. "Yeah, and they're my party members. There's Aqua, she's a Goddess of water. She can heal you. Megumin's our demolition expert. Blonde one over there is Darkness. She's a great diversion tactician."
Aqua slammed her knuckle. "What happened to the old Kazuma? What did you do to him!?"
"Uh, what do you mean?" He had a poker face.
"You didn't even call me useless just now." Was she that conditioned to it? Kazuma wondered.
"What's your ploy?" Megumin didn't trust him. For all she knew he was planning on using his Steal magic on her.
At the opposite side of the classroom, Emilia sat with her group. The half elf had a bright smile, going from one pointy ear to the next. A warm red blush was on her cheeks. Kazuma smiled at the sight of her.
"A new friend told me to appreciate the little things about you guys." Maybe this was the beginning of a new Kazuma.
"That's not the only thing that's little." Aqua had a smug face, placing a hand condescendingly over her mouth.
Viktoriya was puzzled. "What do you mean, Aqua-sama?"
"Oh, he didn't tell you about his Excalibur?" The goddess was having the time of her life.
Kazuma blinked. 'Don't you dare you useless goddess!'
In short, "Kazuma has a tiny..."
'This...bitch.'
The door of Class 2 slide open. He was beyond furious. Kazuma stormed out, grabbing a hold of Emilia's hand. He dragged the worried half elf with him.
"Wait Kazuma. Where are we going?" Emilia asked. She followed him regardless, not as if she had a choice.
"Out of here! I am through! We're finding that big red button and going back to my world! You're coming with me and we're going to defeat the Demon King!"
"You're upset and rightfully so. Just think this through for a bit, Kazuma." Emilia said more calmly, trying to reason with him. He was too mad to listen.
"Oh, believe me. I gave it plenty of thought! Hard to have any regrets when you're full of them!" Kazuma gnawed on his teeth. His entire face was red from fury. The two continued down the hallway.
Kazuma went on a rampage. "Out of the way Bell! You're not even supposed to be here. Go back to your own show!"
A white-haired boy and his twin tail black haired goddess gave Kazuma and Emilia odd looks. The latter tried to apologize on the formers behalf while she was being pulled away. The duo simply shrugged and went on their merry way.
All of a sudden, Kazuma's walk came to a halt, as if an anchor stopped him in his place. Subaru finally caught up to them, holding onto Emilia's other hand.
"Emilia-tan is mine!" Subaru called out the other recluse. "Find your own goddess."
Kazuma tried to pull Emilia back to him. "I have one. She's broken. You can have it. In fact, have all three. I want Emilia instead. She's nice!"
Subaru pulled Emilia towards him. "That's right. My goddess Emilia is nice to everyone. She don't know you little bro!"
"Everyone, can't we all get along and be friends?!" Emilia was caught between a rock and a hard place.
"It? It?! How dare you resort to such blasphemy Kazuma! I am a goddess, and you will address me as such! You meanie! You hikki neet!"
With Kazuma completely defenseless, Aqua ran towards him and wrapped her fingers around his neck to strangle him. She cried hysterically. Kazuma refused to let go of Emilia as the tug of war game between him and Subaru went on.
Megumin joined the battle, swinging her staff. She overheard everything. "How dare you insult me like that Kazuma! I thought we had something special! I'll show you. I might not be allowed to use my explosion magic in school, but that doesn't mean I am out of options."
Instead, Megumin used her magic staff as a melee weapon, whacking him on his head repeatedly.
Darkness smiled and blushed brightly. "Kazuma, were you really willing to throw me away like yesterday's trash for a girl you just met!? How callous of you!"
She wished she was in his position to receive such brutal physical punishment, then again; Emilia's placement looked pretty alluring as well. Darkness started hyperventilating, almost fainting on the spot.
The entire class walked up to see what the commotion was in the middle of the hallway. It was difficult to keep track of everything. It looked like absolute chaos.
Ram brushed it off. Just boys being boys. "Kazuma, if it makes you feel any better, Barasu has a small Excalibur too. I've seen it before."
Finally, the fight broke, giving Emilia breathing room. Now she had the problem of breaking two separate battles, the one within her own camp and Kazuma's group. Subaru was blushing excessively while Darkness watched with absolutely glee.
Being class representative wasn't easy. "Please stop fighting!"
Eventually, the school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Everyone in their respective groups went their own way. Since she instigated this entire thing, Aqua received the harshest punishment. She stood in the hallway, holding two buckets filled with water. One was conveniently placed on her head too.
Ram didn't get away with her part in this feud either. She was assigned to cleaning duties for an entire week. Emilia also gave her stern lecture. The half elf apologized profusely after for being so cross.
Ram was sweeping the classroom floor. The demon could hear the goddess crying remorsefully outside. It made her wonder, was she repentant for any of her actions today? The answer would be obvious. Ram smiled. "Worth it."
This was her finest Barasu bashing session yet.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading!
Aidan.