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“I can’t do it,” you stated.
“You’ve done it before,” Tony replied.
You gnashed your teeth together, tired of the semi-accusing glares from Tony and Clint. They were supposed to be the ones that supported you—the ones that had kindly welcomed you easily into the Avengers. And yet there they were, looking at you like you were the most useless thing in the world.
Tony held up a finger. “Just one little bubble and we can all go home.”
“One of us is home,” you said, a little too bitterly. You didn’t know why you felt so betrayed at finding out Clint had a family—a wife and kids—but you did. Somehow you liked the idea of everyone as a lone wolf because that was how you’d always felt. But you were beginning to realize that the Avengers were all humans too, more or less. Tony had Pepper, Thor had Jane, and now Clint had a wife and two kids with a third on the way. It only made you more agitated with everything else that had happened.
“Problem?” Natasha asked. She leaned against the porch railing, far too at home here on Clint’s little ranch. She’d known about Clint’s other life already, but didn’t seem any happier at letting everyone in on the secret.
“Yes,” you told her, crossing your arms. “I’m tired. And freezing.”
Natasha arched a brow at you. You challenged, “What? Don’t believe me? Want me to go into a coma again just to prove my quote-unquote skills?”
You were more frustrated with yourself, and you knew she knew that. She was probably the only person there that knew that—Tony was too busy trying to make you create a barrier and you were too busy avoiding Clint to even think about what he thought. You looked away from all of them, feeling even more guilty.
“You don’t have any equipment here,” you finally said to Tony, “so you can’t measure the field anyway.”
“I just want to make sure your brain is doing what it’s supposed to,” he replied. “That witch did a number on all of us and—”
“I can control my electromagnetic field,” you interrupted, “my brain has never done what it’s supposed to. So I just—I just need a break!” You threw your arms to your sides and spun on your heel, heading for anywhere else. There wasn’t much of anywhere to go, but even out in the field seemed like a better option.
No footsteps followed your own on the soft grass. Maybe Natasha had told Tony and Clint not to follow, or maybe the fact that you couldn’t hear anyone was because she had been the one to follow. You glanced over your shoulder just in case and found they had all disappeared into the house, the only evidence they’d even been there was the screen door swinging shut.
You took a shaky breath and sat down beside a large pile of wood. You inhaled again, this time a little more balanced, and began to count your breaths. When you hit the count of fifteen someone said, “Mind if I join you?”
You opened your eyes, unaware you’d closed them. Steve was standing before you in nothing more than a tee-shirt and pants, hands in his pockets. You shrugged at him, “Free country. Usually.”
Steve sat down beside you and hooked his elbows around his knees, drawing them towards his chest. He looked out at the field before you while you studied the grass, attempting to feel out the individual blades. It was distant, but you could feel them on the edge of your mind, soft and fragile.
“Why’d they send you?” you asked.
“Apparently I’m good at giving pep talks,” he said with a chuckle. When you didn’t laugh he cleared his throat. “You should have said you couldn’t create a barrier—I wouldn’t have let you go in if I’d known—”
“It’s only temporary,” you said quickly. You head whipped up to face him. “And when I went in I could create a barrier—I did create one before that bolt of…whatever hit you.” There was a pause. You picked at a single blade of grass before shaking your head. “I can’t do anything if I can’t create barriers. I’m useless to you guys now. For now.” You couldn’t help but add the correction in yourself.
“You just did too much, too soon,” Steve suggested. “We’ll figure this out.” And with that line he set a heavy hand on your shoulder and stood. Dragging his fingers off of you, he offered you his hand and you took it, standing.
Despite his reassuring nod you knew what he was saying. You were grounded.