Chapter Text
One thing was known for certain about Min Yoongi, and that was: when it came to dares, he did not play.
His friends found this out back when he was but a mere fifth grader and they had dared him to jump out of the treehouse in Hoseok’s backyard. Yoongi one upped them and jumped straight off of the roof of Hoseok’s house with nothing more than scuffed knuckles and bleeding knees. Soon, as the boys would grow older, small dares like this didn't entertain them that much and they changed the whole scene in middle school. Because while Yoongi was in seventh grade, Seokjin got a girlfriend and the other boys decided that they wanted to have girlfriends too. So by the time Seokjin was in high school and Yoongi was in eighth grade, the dares changed from eating strange things to harassing their crushes and pursuing the prettiest girls in school. Yoongi didn't really like it. He much preferred sitting in Jimin’s basement playing video games and sharing popcorn with him until his parents called to take him home.
Then one day, his friends had finally convinced the girls in their class to play truth or dare with them while the substitute walked out of the room. Yoongi expected the usual, ‘I dare Yoongi to run down the hallway after school with no shoes on’ or ‘I dare Yoongi to jump on so and so’s back’. But he was wrong; way off. In that game it almost seems that Yoongi isn't about to get a single dare, and it confuses him so much. Instead the girls seemed more interested with Hoseok and Namjoon who, Yoongi decided, were better looking than him in many ways.
“Yoongi!” A short blonde girl with bright pink lip gloss shouts. He blinks in her general direction. Her face turns pink and she licks her lips.
“Yoongi and Sara have to kiss!” Hoseok says wildly. Sara slyly turns around and reapplies her glittery lip gloss (that was sure to leave a print).
Yoongi had heard stories about Seokjin kissing his girlfriend at football games and such and in each one he remembers that Seokjin said it always felt so good, so right. This was not what Yoongi felt. What he felt was disgust and he wasn't sure why. Sara was the prettiest girl in school and he didn't feel a single ounce of joy. No pride from kissing someone before Hoseok. No joy from not getting caught.
Instead he felt guilty. Guilty for kissing her, or rather for kissing her. Looking back as a senior in high school, Yoongi could easily identify how he felt during the kiss, and it was even easier for him to describe the feelings he would develop after the kiss. Throughout the rest of the game Yoongi spaced out trying to identify the strange feeling he was suddenly being faced with. Thankfully, before the guilt eats him even more, the bell rings and it it’s time for lunch.
“So, Yoongi~” Taehyung speaks with a greasy voice that he only uses when he was trying to talk about something no one wanted to hear.
Yoongi does his signature side glance to confirm that he's paying attention and Taehyung continues.
“You and Sara, huh?” He's smirking. Kim Taehyung is smirking and Yoongi doesn't like it and he wants him to stop. Yoongi looks at Taehyung, glares at him even. Now Namjoon and Jimin are looking over at the two and Yoongi just wishes girls never existed because kissing them seriously sucks and if he had to do it again he would throw up all over Taehyung’s dumb bowl cut. Jimin scrunches his nose.
“Sara? You mean that one blonde girl with the teeth?” Jimin then impersonates a bunny rabbit and Hoseok points out how much he looks like Jungkook. They all laugh then stop suddenly remembering how Jungkook always found out when they were making fun of him.
Yoongi let himself glance to Jimin while he had laughed staring for a haphazardly long time at his smile, and how he was still missing one of his back teeth which had yet to grow in. Yoongi stared at his hair and how long it looked, trying to decide how he would describe it if he was an author. Probably like looking at the soils of… Yoongi thought hard for a moment. Africa; like looking deeply into an untainted coffee bean; like… A perfectly brown marshmallow. Yoongi decided he liked the marshmallow and soils of Africa simile the most and made a mental note to write it in his journal later.
“But seriously, Yoongi what did she taste like?” Taehyung asks suddenly, breaking Yoongi away from his warm brown poetry. The eldest of the group scrunches his nose. Who cares what she tasted like-- were you supposed to care what people tasted like?
“She tasted like,” Yoongi licks his lips, “wax. And an arts and crafts project.”
Jimin rolled his eyes, letting out a tiny sigh. The other boys however almost jumped over the table to sit next to Yoongi.
“What type of arts and crafts project?” Taehyung.
“Mm, describe the wax,” Hoseok.
“Did ya’ get to third base?” Namjoon.
“What does her hair smell like up close?” Namjoon again.
“What's third base?” Taehyung.
Yoongi inhaled a massive amount of air before exhaling it all in an extremely rude matter. The boys stop, sitting back comfortably hoping they looked cool for Sara to notice them. They began to finish their lunch silently, even Taehyung and Jimin (who are never silent).
Jimin picks at his flattened chicken sandwich in disappointment, and Yoongi wonders why his food always looked a little bit less… Edible than theirs. So, he slides his round sandwich over to Jimin. He had lost his appetite a long time ago. Jimin mumbles a thanks before he digs in and the abandoned sandwich appears to shake in tears (or maybe it's woken up by then because, honestly, who really knows what's in those sandwiches).
+
Yes, Yoongi hated girls. They made everything so complicated. He didn't expect to grow up and be hot. That was a given. He didn't expect that girls would think he was hot. He really didn't like this at all. And here he was standing in front of the first poster of the year to be hung about the dance, surrounded by (yuck) girls. The girls all stared at him openly, some of them licking their lips and tossing their hair away from their v-line shirts to show him their chests, while others took a less confident approach of staring at him from afar with dreamy looks on their faces. Yoongi debates on whether or not he should formally come out to this large annoying group. He decides not to because: girls make everything so complicated. Ever since he could do his chores with no help he had known it.
Why did his mom give him weird impossible chores while his father gave him extra easy normal ones? Because moms are girls, so they're complicated by default.
A tall senior with long brown hair that Yoongi recognizes as Sophia taps his shoulder. And the moment that Yoongi had been dreading comes out.
“Wanna go together?” She asks trying to be casual. Yoongi could see her ears already a bright pink and she was biting the inside of her cheek far too hard to be considered comfortable. He shakes his head and mutters ‘no thanks,’ before walking away.
Sophie cries right then and there in the middle of the hallway. Yoongi quickens his pace because he can feel them coming and it makes his skin crawl. He said no, not go fuck yourself. Always making things extra complicated. Yoongi stops as he reaches his class and drops into his seat in the back sinking as low as he could.
“Lemme guess, the date of the dance was posted coincidentally next to your locker?” Taehyung whispers.
“You don't even know,” Yoongi pulls his hood over his eyes and just sits there, just like that. He hated how the boy had been assigned to this class which was for juniors when he was only a sophomore. Stupid ass Taehyung, being smart and shit. Taehyung usually told him that he was the stupid ass for having to repeat his sophomore year in the first place. Yoongi didn't give a shit (or a fuck for that matter) what Taehyung had to say because those teachers were hard as balls and two of them had been fired so Taehyung had no right to tell him shit.
“Why don't you just tell everyone already?” Taehyung, poor stupid Taehyung. He just didn't get it.
“If I came out then my plan wouldn't work.”
“What plan?” He squints at Yoongi, since when did Yoongi have plans?
Yoongi just sighs, and Taehyung desperately wants to ask more questions but the bell rings and Yoongi is now officially in airplane mode for the next hour. So Taehyung shrugs and sits down taking out his supplies.
At lunch Yoongi receives his first dare in what feels like years. He's dared to get a date to the dance. Given that he's only really come out to Taehyung (on accident) and Hoseok (while most likely high) they were mostly all expecting a girl. And Yoongi doesn't like girls. So he's stuck. His choices are:
1 Don't go to the dance (chicken out)
2 Bring a girl (be a sellout)
3 Bring a boy and spontaneously come out (ruin your plan)
4 Go to the dance without a date (pussy out)
There was a distinct difference between chickening out and pussying out that Yoongi points out in his mind.
Chicken out (v.)
1-To be a complete loser but wallow in self pity, no one will know the truth.
[2 (n.)-Getting Chinese takeout but forgetting what you ordered (‘it's usually chicken’ Seokjin would say; ‘it tastes a little like chicken,’ Hoseok would say)]
Pussy out (v.)
1- To chicken out in front of everyone = you're a loser = your secret plan is once again ruined. Also no one likes a pussy. (At least not Yoongi.)
So he's stuck in a huge hole with no fucking ladder and what type of an idiot digs a hole with no way to get out? Oh yeah, me. Yoongi has been in the closet for so long he's certain that the ‘closet’ he's in is as big as Hannah Montana’s and twice as lonely since he's 87% sure that he's Mitchell Musso and Hannah (his best friend) will never love him back. Wait, he thinks. After he found out Miley didn't like him like that what did he do?
He got on Phineas and Ferb and got the tattletale sister, Candice. But who at this school was the tattletale sister? Maybe the Thai kid with the name he always forgot? He was a major tattle. Or maybe Jungkook; kid was a kiss ass and a tattle. The whole package! Yoongi says in a commercial announcer voice in his head. He didn't know if Jungkook was even into guys, especially since he probably didn't even know that it was a thing. Jungkook had always been really innocent (although Yoongi literally hadn't spoken to him since he had started high school). He'd make a decision later.
Later that day, Yoongi finds out that the Thai kid has a girlfriend. So he goes to find Jungkook.
“Hoseok!” Yoongi throws a pebble at the back of the boy's head.
“Fuck me right in the assho-- Yoongi!” Hoseok grins widely after his short lived recovery.
“Hey dork, does Jungkook go to our school?”
Hoseok makes a funny face, a face he reserved for idiots who make idiotic remarks that he solely made behind their backs.
“Yea, he's a freshman remember?” Yoongi squints, he thought Jungkook was still a seventh grader. Not that he was considering taking a seventh grader to prom (although it was still a possibility).
“He sits on the other side of the cafeteria from us, probably embarrassed of us, I guess.” Hoseok scratches his eyelid, and continues walking home. Yoongi grabs him by the neck.
“Ow!” Hoseok howls. Yoongi lets go of his neck and pats it awkwardly as a sorry.
“You live nearby him right?” Hoseok rubs his neck, letting the question sink in. He readjusts his snap back messing up his hair a little in the back.
“Yea, why?”
“I wanted to ask him a favor.”
“Yoongi, --” Hoseok begins.
“Does he, er, like-- you know?” Yoongi is suddenly freaking out, he hadn't considering Jungkook being straight since he made the decision to ask him. He really should've thought this through because now he's on his way to Hoseok’s house aka two houses down from Jungkook’s and He Is Not Ready For Any Of This.
“Yoongi, I'm not gonna lie… It surprised me at first too but, um… watch out for him.” Hoseok looks a bit weary and exhausted all of a sudden.
“Wait, so he does..? …’nt..?”
“Oh he's gay alright, he's just-- hey kookie!” Hoseok smiles to the new face.
Yoongi is in awe.
Jungkook has purple hair, of all colors purple, and it looks good? Not to mention his smile, holy shit his smile. Yoongi is speechless. This Was Not The Fifth Grade Kookie He Remembered. He was only in his first year in high school, and Yoongi is certain that there's a law stating that you're not allowed to be this cute in high school in general.
Jungkook winks at Yoongi suddenly while he speaks with Hoseok and gives a sly grin that screamed sin. Yoongi suddenly knows what Hoseok wanted to say.
Jungkook is a player, and it's written all over his face. His hot face, Yoongi corrects, he's really hot.
If Yoongi could somehow pinpoint this moment he would, and he would label it:
Where, when and how I fucked up.