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Minji sits silently, arms resting against the wooden table and her head hangs low. Her eyes looked rather lifeless and her mind clouded with sadness, fighting back the tears that’s about to come out.
She went to the bathroom and there, she stood right in front of the sink and stared into her own reflection in the mirror. Minji looked defeated, miserable even. She doesn’t recognize the reflection of her own face. She hates her .
“… Who the hell are you…?” Minji murmured. “Who… Am I ?”
Minji doesn’t understand herself. Not when she doesn’t recognize her own face; nor her mind and heart. She’s alive, but at the same time, she’s already dead inside. It feels hollow. Maybe it’s wrong for her to keep on living while a certain face’s smile keeps haunting her, that certainly doesn’t feel right .
Her ears perked up at the voice of her phone ringing throughout the whole room. She quickly left the bathroom and took a look at the caller; ‘AGENT DELLA/HANDONG’ . She accepted the phone call, turned on the loudspeaker and she spoke, “… Minji here.”
“Minji? Oh, thank God, you picked up the phone. Where are you?”
“I’m at home. Why? Is there a task for me?” Minji asked
“No, not at all. I just called to check you up, because… Well, you know, what happened between you and…,” A brief pause from the other side of the phone. Handong let out a sigh, she then continued, “… You and Bora. After that incident .”
Minji’s heart stings when she hears her name. It always hurts whenever Minji hears it, no matter how many times has passed, no matter how many days have gone, right after she lost everything—the half part of her heart. As if it’s like rubbing salt over an open wound.
“Minji? Are you there?”
She didn't say anything and remained silent. Tears shone in her eyes, expression went agonized as the sadness inside her mind washed over her. Minji’s shoulders drooped as a heavy exhale escaped her mouth.
“Minji?”
“Yeah?” Minji answered
“I can go there if you need some company, I’ll bring some food.”
“I’m sorry, Handong, but I think I need some space right now. But I do appreciate your concerns and your offer” Minji denied
“Ah, okay, I see. Just give me a call if you need someone to listen to you, okay? See you soon, Minji.”
“… Yeah, thanks, Handong. I’ll see you soon” Minji murmured. She ended the phone call and placed her phone at the table, pressing her hand against her cheek.
She glanced over a photo frame at the table. What’s inside is a picture of her and Bora—her girlfriend. Tears started to roll down her cheeks as she mourned the latter. Minji extended her arm and brought the photo frame closer to her and sobbed, “… I miss you .”
_____________________
That time, that place, is where everything started.
The halls were filled with soon-to-be-agents attending the graduation ceremony. Months after months of training had passed, there were ups and downs during those times but they managed to get over it. And at last, they’re about to become the agents.
Minji sits with her arms crossed in front of her chest, waiting for the ceremony to start anytime soon. The halls filled with chatters there and there but it doesn’t bother Minji that much, she just couldn’t wait for the ceremony to start so she can go back home quickly.
“Excuse me, is the seat next to you empty?”
She jerked her head in the direction of someone’s voice. Her eyesight caught a woman, average height, small face, probably the same age as her. Minji replied, “It’s empty. Feel free to take a seat here.”
“Thanks!,” the latter nodded, she sat down and let out a sigh. “It’s pretty lively today, huh? Looks like we’re about to become real agents isn’t it?”
“Come to think of it, you’re right. It’s never been this lively before, I guess it’s because we’re about to become real agents” Minji added
The other woman reached out her hand towards Minji. “My name’s Bora. Kim Bora.” She introduced. “What’s your name?”
“It’s Minji.” Minji smiles, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you, Bora.”
Bora nods. “Nice to meet you too” Bora replied.
_____________________
In the dining room, a table was made for two, and there’s Minji sitting down by herself. She stares at the empty seat in front of her.
Her smile, her face, her laughter, her voice—everything that once filled the other side of the seat remains as a memory. It feels empty, but at the same time, it’s as if Bora is still there with Minji. She tried to grasp those haunting memories back but she knows that once everything’s gone, they’re gone . And that’s the end.
There were days where Minji accidentally cooked for two. Bora, dinner’s ready! Minji called, nothing but silence answered her back then. Her presence wasn’t there, but Minji swore that she’s still there and then reality hits her. It’s just Minji and herself.
Nevertheless, Minji put down the plate. She devours the food with empty feeling knowing that the other plate would stay full, with no one to eat them, a certain someone to praise her cooking as they talked about things. Even after Minji finished her food, the other plate just stayed there.
Minji took the plate, and she put it into the refrigerator. She knows that Bora would like it, but it's a shame that Bora could no longer taste it.
Minji switched the lights off, got on the bed and tugged herself into the blanket.
She turned herself and stared at the wall across her bed right at the usual position where Bora would usually sleep. She reached out her arm, trying to embrace the warmth that once was there. Something about that one made her feel hollow.
Where were the hips that Minji’s arms used to rest on? The arms that used to hug Minji’s body when she couldn’t sleep? The hands that used to cup Minji’s cheeks while they’re saying ‘good morning’ to each other? The warmth that Minji seeks when she feels cold?
Where did they go?
Her mind told her to let things go, but her heart tells her otherwise. Maybe it’s cruel to think that she should let the past go and try to live in the present, without the other. And perhaps it’s too selfish for Minji to think that she could grasp something that got away and taken from her.
Lines formed between Minji’s eyebrows. Her eyes flutter closed as her shoulder droops.
Minji murmured, “… Good night, Bora.”
________________
Minji’s boots made a solid sound against the floor as she walked through the busy halls, and her footsteps stopped right in front of a room. Her hand curled into a fist and she knocked on the door.
Minji pressed the intercom and said, “Agent Lily, code Emerald seventeen.”
The door opened and Minji stepped in. There, both the boss and Bora have been waiting for her to come. She immediately stood by Bora’s side.
“I have a mission for both of you to finish,” the boss opened. He pulled out a picture and showed it to both agents. He added, “He’s been lurking out there and hurting the innocents. Police had lost track of him but I believe both of you can find him, finish him off and you’ll do justice for the innocents.”
“Yes, sir” both Bora and Minji replied
“Good luck, agents.”
::::
It’s getting late and the street lights have started to lighten up, faint buzz from neon signs and the muffled sound of rain droplets hitting the water puddle on the pavement accompanied Minji and Bora who have been watching over the streets from the car.
“It’s raining cats and dogs, huh? How are we even supposed to spot our target? Using our sixth sense’s vision?” Bora’s shoulders drooped, a small exhale escaped her mouth as she leaned her head onto the window.
“There’s nothing we can do about the weather. It’s not like we were asking for the rain to come though” Minji said
Bora scoffed, “But we are in the middle of a mission looking for someone. The rain isn’t helping while it’s decreasing our sight, and the headlamp isn’t much of a help either.” She tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. “God, I wish I was born with ultra vision so I can see past the heavy rain, the wall or something to make my life and job easier.”
Minji stares at Bora, studying her side face figure carefully. Street lamps from the outside cast a shadow on her face, making her look even more beautiful. She could admire her for hours if only they weren’t on a mission though.
“Were you always this beautiful…?” Minji purrs
“Did you just say something?” Bora asked, face turning into Minji’s direction.
Minji clears her throat. “No, I just talked to myself” she lied
“Is that so? ‘Cause, I swear to God I heard you saying something. But if you don’t want to tell me then that’s okay I guess.” Bora said. “Also, can I ask you something, Minji?”
“What?” Minji said
“If… Well, if something happens to me in this mission…,” Bora paused, she brought her hand and scratched her cheek with her finger. “… Are you… Going to protect me…?”
Minji arches her eyebrow as she carefully thinks about Bora’s question. Bora’s cheeks are taken on a red hue when she catches Minji’s expression. “W-w-wait!! I’m just kidding! Please don’t even bother with the question!” Bora said. Palms against her face, Bora cursed to herself under her breath, ‘Goddamnit Kim Bora! Why are you so stupid!?’
“Well, of course I would.”
Bora peeks through her fingers, she glanced at Minji. “Of course… What?” She asked.
“You asked me if I’m going to protect you, should anything happen to you during the mission, right?” Minji added, “You’re my partner, Bora. It is my duty to protect you.”
She swore she’s about to scream her lungs out the moment Minji said it, but Bora composes herself and tries not to think about it too much. All though for some reason she finds it really cute to think that Minji would protect her.
“Well then… I guess it’s my duty to protect you as well.” Bora expressed. “Partners protect each other, right?”
“Partners protech each other” Minji repeated
Bora’s heart stuttered as Minji repeated her words. Maybe she kinda exaggerated that but Bora knows that’s what both her and Minji had to do; protecting each other as partners.
“Alright then, time to go back to find our target!” Bora said
“Yeah, back to the mission” Minji smiles
___________________
Rain pours down along with thunders and lightning streak spreads over the now darkened clouds.
Minji just stands there, right at the opposite side of the street where she had her first mission with Bora. The streets are lively with faces and cars passing by her.
She remembers everything. How hard the rain was pouring was, the way she blurted out saying that she would protect Bora, then waiting for hours, every minute of it. Now that she’s at the opposite of it, it almost feels like Minji waits for a familiar face to show up.
But then again, it’s just another piece of memories. Something that couldn’t be relived again.
Minji walks away from her spot, walking through the rain with her eyes dampened and a heavy heart. It’s painful. It shatters her mind when she recalls the memories of what happened on the other side of the road.
___________________
At times, Bora would stay at Minji’s apartment so they could go to the headquarters together. It was initiated by Minji at first and Bora agreed.
There, by the bed, both of them lay down while facing each other. Bora had fallen asleep, but Minji’s still awake and gazing at Bora’s face while she listens to Bora’s small snores.
She brought her hand and caressed Bora’s cheeks and brushing her hair gently and softly so she won’t wake Bora up.
Her arm then gets lower and wraps itself on Bora’s back, palm against Bora’s back feeling the rise and fall as she breathes. It’s a wonderful feeling, something small but Minji feels alive, blessed, grateful even. Something about Bora makes everything feel fine.
Bora’s eyes fluttered open. She whines a little and catches Minji’s face with her blurred out vision. Bora asked her, “Minji? You’re not asleep yet?”
“I can’t sleep at all. I don’t know why.” Minji lightly shook her head. “So I decided to stare at you.”
The smaller woman gave Minji a soft smile. “Well, wanna talk about stuff? You might fall asleep while we’re talking” Bora initiated.
“Sounds good,” Minji agreed. “Alright, what should we talk about?”
Bora arches her eyebrow as she thinks about what they should talk about. “How about… What do you think of me?” She asked.
“What do I think about you?,” Minji closes her eyes for a second. “Hmm… You’re lovely, you’re kind, and you always take great care of those who are close to you. Like a mother, perhaps?”
“Are you taking this seriously? Or were you trying to flirt with me?” Bora huffs playfully.
“I’m serious, you know?” Minji uttered. “You’re so lovely that I couldn’t help but to stare at you.”
Bora shook her head lightly, bringing a hand to cup Minji’s face. She chuckles, “Stop it will you? You’re going to make me flustered.”
“Should I tell you how much you really mean to me?” Minji raised an eyebrow, the side of her lip went upward.
The smaller woman lightly swung her arm, Minji laughed and brushed her fingers onto Bora’s hair petting her. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop now.”
“You better stop being so cute and all. You’re going to kill me” Bora joked
“Well, make me” Minji challenged
Both of them laughed together, foreheads touching each other as they shook their heads. “God, you beat me right there” Bora admitted.
“I did,” Minji asserted. “Look at you now. All red, looks like you really are flustered huh.”
“Oh, shut up!”
___________________
“Agent Alice has betrayed us.”
Minji went staggered as the boss told her.
“Agent Alice is… What…?” Minji whispered
“She has betrayed us. One of our agents found her working for someone else, we weren’t sure who but it looks like she’s here to sell us out.” The boss added, “You know that we don’t tolerate those who betrayed us, Agent Lily. Once you betray our trust, you are considered both traitor and dead. No excuses, no toleration.”
She stood rooted to her ground. Bora betrayed her? Betrayed them all? Is this some kind of a joke?
“No… No way . There’s no way,” her face twisted. “There’s no way that Agent Alice had betrayed us! She– she’s—! It’s impossible!”
“Agent Lily, I understand that it might sound unbelievable to you. But unfortunately, it is true and she has killed one of our witnesses. And I won’t let her kill another one.”
He slides a piece of paper towards Minji, and there, a picture of Bora was labeled with “ TARGET ” on it. The boss scrutinized, “You know what you gotta do, agent. This is your mission.”
Minji’s shoulders shift slightly with every heavy breath she takes. Every memory she could think of washed over her mind, crashing with one another, with Bora’s face distorted and became unfamiliar to her. She wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t.
“I take it that you have understood your mission.” The boss’ voice grew cold. “Now, go ahead and finish what you need to finish. Before agent Alice could get you, or anyone else you know.”
Agonized expression overtook her expression. Minji’s heart went cold, her mind had stopped thinking, the lights had left her eyes. She lowered her head trying to hide the tears that collected in her eyelashes. Minji’s lips quivered.
“.... Yes, boss.”
___________________
Heavy panting escapes Bora’s lips as she walks with an arm leaning against the wall to support herself. She hung her head and hissed each time the wound stings, a small shit.. escaped her.
Bora lost her balance and fell down in a swoon. She leaned against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut, cursing under her breath, “Oh, God …”
Breathe in, breathe out. Breath in, breath out —Bora commanded herself. Blood spread into Bora’s palm, her body shivering from the cold. A familiar face came to her mind all of a sudden, as if she’s there to comfort her. Why all of a sudden?
Footsteps echoed and drew closer to her. The agent pointed his gun towards Bora’s head, steadying his aim.
“This is it, agent Alice.” He added. “Goodbye.”
Another footsteps draw near. A loud gunshot followed with a thud right next to Bora’s body. She knew that she would come. “You didn’t have to do that, you know…” Bora snorted.
Minji stood there, staring at Bora with a deadpan expression. She noticed the trail of smeared red pooling in between Bora’s fingers.
“You look miserable” Minji said in a hushed tone.
“No shit.” Bora growled, huffing at Minji’s statement. “If I looked miserable, then what are you? Awful?”
She doesn’t respond. No, Minji does know that she looked awful, even though she tried not to. Minji knew this would come, she knew that everything would meet its end, but it never crossed her thoughts that she’s the one to end everything she cherishes—Kim Bora.
“Bora… I don’t understand… Why did you have to betray us ?” Minji’s expression dulled. “After all we’ve been through together, those nights we’ve spent together, do they mean nothing to you?”
“I’m sorry…,” Bora locked her gaze with Minji. She saw the mixed emotions right through her and she quite understood. “I understand that you were hurt. I do know that you hate this, too. Shameful I might be to admit this, I wish that you didn’t have to do this. But… Things are supposed to end like this. We both know that.”
“It wasn’t supposed to end like this ,” sadness clouded Minji’s features. “It wasn’t supposed to end like this! I can’t— I don’t want to lose you!!” Minji’s tears broke, she began to bawl and cried out her emotions.
Bora shook her head lightly. “No, Minji, it was supposed to end like this . ” — no, you were right. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. But it has to, so you won’t be burdened by your thoughts, by our love. “I’m sorry that it has to end like this.”
“That’s a lie! There are other ways to deal with this! It doesn’t have to end like this,” Minji’s lips trembled. “Just— Just tell me what can I do to make you stay! What can I do, so you don’t have to die, so I can make you stay! Tell me!”
“There’s nothing you can do about this , Minji.” Bora enraged. “Don’t you understand? You can’t let someone who had betrayed you live, to be near . You have to end me. It’s your job and you know that !”
Minji froze and stared with wide eyes, unable to find any words to say. Bora was right, she was meant to end her, not to save her and keep her alive. Thoughts over thoughts washed over her brain, trying to find which one she had to listen to—betray everyone and stay with Bora like she wanted, or; finish her task and carry the burden for the rest of her life. So much to think about, little tikes were given.
She had decided. Minji slowly aims her gun at Bora, her expression dulled up. Bora quickly understands that Minji had her own resolve.
“.... Any last words or wishes?” Minji implored.
“Can you give me a kiss?” Bora asked
Minji nods, she then kneels down to Bora’s level. Bora pulls her closer, leans in to kiss Minji.
Bora stares at Minji’s eyes. She cupped her face and stroked her cheeks, reassuring that it’s going to be okay.
“Don’t give me that look. It’s going to be fine, you will get through it” Bora reassures.
“And what if it’s not going to be fine?” Minji questioned
“You’ll be fine… I believe in you.”
Minji falls silent. Tears silently fell from the corner of her eyes again.
Bora glanced towards Minji, muttering, “... I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you, too” Minji purred
She steadied her aim, putting her finger on the trigger. Minji scrunched up her face–sorrowful even. Her fingers slowly pull the trigger.
Bang!!!
Bora’s eyes slowly closing down. It doesn't hurt, it’s not cold despite the rain, it’s…. Warm. She glanced over Minji and she could feel a small smile formed on her lips. She then understands.
That dying in her arms isn’t as fearful as she thought.
Her head hangs low as Bora breathes her last breath. Minji finds herself shaking. “....Bora…?” She murmured, reaching out her arms and pulled Bora’s body closer.
Minji softly kissed Bora’s forehead, then she rested her chin on top of Bora’s head. Tears collected in her eyelashes and falls, she hugged Bora’s body and began sobbing uncontrollably. Bora’s name escaped through Minji’s mouth loudly, drowned by the thunder, mourning over her love—their love.
the end.