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Julie accepted she had a crush on Luke almost immediately. It was never really a secret, Flynn guessed the same day Julie realized she had feelings for him. She was almost positive he liked her too. He kept dropping hints and staring at her wistfully from across the studio. It was safe to say the boys were right in their assessment of Luke’s feelings towards Julie. She acted like she didn’t notice, and he acted like he didn’t notice her antics either. She was always getting a little too close during their duets and making flirtatious jokes about their “chemistry”. It was clear both singers wanted the other to know how they felt without having to say it aloud. Saying it aloud meant they were admitting that they couldn’t be together.
Luke’s love language was touch, the boys knew that from how physical he was with them and Julie caught on quickly by observation. And with things the way they were, the whole “he’s a ghost and therefore can’t be touched” thing, Julie knew she couldn’t give that to him. And it pained her to see him upset about anything, so she decided a relationship between them simply wouldn’t work out.
Regardless, they continued their flirtation and bantering, hoping to find a semblance of physicality in the other. They’d even begun to share sort of a routine. At night, when Reggie and Alex were out to pass the time and Julie’s family was asleep, Luke would poof into Julie’s room where she would be waiting on her bed. She would greet him with a smile and he’d plop down beside her. Sometimes they watched a movie or Luke helped her with her homework. “Helping” usually consisted of Luke pretending to know the answer, actually remembering the answer, telling her the answer, and then ending with him doing the entire assignment. Julie would of course have to go back and correct his numerous errors, but she didn’t mind. She liked spending time with him and the extra homework practice was sometimes helpful. But mostly, they sat together and talked. About everything and anything. Julie talked about her mom passing away, then Luke talked about his mom. They talked about hobbies, and Julie found Luke didn’t have many outside of music. Julie didn’t mind hearing Luke go on and on about music though. The way his eyes sparkled when he talked about his passion made Julie’s entire body fill with warmth and butterflies. Really big butterflies.
They went into deeper topics too, like when Julie timidly asked Luke what it was like to die. He did tell her, but he got emotional. He described how he watched life leave his friends’ eyes, ignoring the tears streaming down his cheeks. He told her about the feeling of knowing you were about to die all while his voice quivered and his body shook. Julie cut him off, afraid he would have some sort of anxiety attack. She then realized she was also crying. She really hoped death wasn’t as scary for her mom and she also wished the boys never had to endure that either, especially Luke. Her Luke. All Julie wanted was to reach out and hug him, so she substituted him for a pillow and hugged it instead. Luke figured out what she was doing and embraced himself to return the gesture.
Day by day Julie was certain she fell more and more in love with him. Especially when he started staying in her room until she fell asleep, whispering nonsense until she drifted off.
Julie had heard so much about Luke’s mom from his stories of her, and after Alex and Reggie brought her to Luke’s parents’ home on his birthday, she couldn’t stop thinking about how much she wanted to ease his pain. So, she decided she would bring Luke’s parents “Unsaid Emily”. As she was about to ring the doorbell, Luke appeared beside her.
“Luke!” She exclaimed
“What are you doing here?” He asked, suspicion creeping through his voice
“OK look” Julie rushed to explain, “I… I just hated hearing you talk so much about missing your parents, and I.. I wanted to meet them. Tell them about the things I found of yours in the garage”
He stepped closer, “Without asking?”
She gathered her thoughts as he searched her dark chocolate eyes, “I’m sorry, it was wrong. But I’m worried about you”
He stepped back, “You don’t have to be”
She continued, “I get it. I know how hard it is when you want to speak to someone you love and can’t. I feel that way every day”
His gaze drifted back to hers, “I don’t even know what I’d say to her, even if she could hear me.”
“Yes, you do. You’ve already said it”
Luke furrowed his brow, tilting his head ever so slightly.
“Trust me” she replied, absolutely melting Luke with the way she looked at him.
He stepped to the doorbell and rang it with his ringed fingers. The door opened to Luke’s dad and Julie explained her cause. He invited her inside, and the elderly couple began reading the song. Luke instinctively started singing the lyrics, flashing back to the night when he sped away on his bike. He recalled regretfully writing the song in the garage and testing its sound on his acoustic guitar. He remembered spying on his parents through the bushes outside their house and practicing the song with the band. The full band. They all had solemn expressions, knowing the song was so vulnerable to Luke. He could almost hear how they harmonized with him on the vocals. Then the horrifying image of a police car pulling up to his parents’ home to tell them about the death of their runaway son consumed his mind. In his imagined recreation, his mother immediately broke down in tears while he stood across the room helplessly. He could barely hear the sound of himself singing over the imaginary sobs. He found himself back in the present, tears streaming down his face while watching his mom, who was also crying.
Julie heard the turmoil Luke was experiencing behind her but forced herself to ignore it so as to not come off as a crazy person to Luke’s parents. It was excruciating to not turn around and embrace him, wipe away his tears, and soothe him until he stopped sing-crying. She felt herself tearing up too, biting her tongue to avoid whirling around and doing something stupid.
While Julie told his parents about how lucky Luke was to find his purpose and spend his life fulfilling it, she heard Luke poof away. She said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t be mad at her, before making her way back to her house.
Once back at the Molina house, Julie found Luke leaning against a pillar on her front porch and fidgeting with his blue rabbit’s foot.
“Hey” she called, walking up to him
“Hey” he replied
“I’m sorry for overstepping” she apologized preemptively
“No, I…” he began, “I just had to leave. That was…”
She remembered how emotional Luke got when talking about his and his bandmates' death and cut him off, “You don’t have to say anything”
“Yeah, I do.” He stepped closer to her, which gave Julie some reassurance that he was in the right headspace to be discussing this, “Uh… I didn’t have many regrets in my life except for running out on my parents. Especially my mom, so… thank you.”
“I hate seeing you so upset Luke, and I just wanted to give you some closure. You were there for me those nights I missed my mom, and I wanted to do something to thank you” She smiled gently
He licked his lips and held out his hand, “That was perfect” he whispered.
She released her grasp on her own fist and moved to grasp Luke’s outstretched hand. When her hand passed right through, he curled his fingers back into his palm. She pressed her lips together and turned away from him, disappointed even though she knew how this would end. She couldn’t even look at him, knowing how badly she wanted to touch him. Just hold him in her arms…
He sighed, equally as frustrated. “This is an interesting little relationship you and I have,” he murmured, raising his eyebrows before catching her gaze.
She couldn’t stop herself from looking at him anymore and smiled at his remark, chuckling lightly.
He looked back at her, memorizing every feature of her side profile.
“Julie,” he swallowed hard, “I don’t think I can keep ignoring this anymore”
She looked at him, horrified that he had acknowledged it. Her eyes pleaded for him to stop, just shut up right then and there. End it before any real damage had been done.
“I know how I feel about you, and I’m pretty sure you feel the same”
Julie tensed. This she needed him just stop. She wasn’t ready to face this. Face a life where she knew Luke loved her back and she couldn’t do anything about it. Face a life where she is a disappointment to Luke, where she can’t make him happy and only fills him with perpetual and unquenchable yearning. But it was too late now. She looked back out to her front yard and barely nodded. Luke probably wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t watching her every move.
He dipped his head in front of hers to look her in the eye again. She smiled sadly at him, wishing she could reach out and touch his cheek. He leaned as close as he possibly could to her without phasing through.
“I’d really like to kiss you right now” he whispered, his eyes trained on her lips.
Julie imagined being able to feel his breath. “Me too” she squeaked, “I know what it’s like when you want to be with someone you love but can’t.” She saw tears pool in his blue-green eyes.
He sucked in a breath, pulling away from her. “I need to go” he whispered
“Okay” she replied, scanning his face one more time
He poofed away, leaving her wounded and devastated. Was it really too much to ask just to let her kiss him? If Luke and music were all she wanted in life, why couldn’t she get Luke and music? She threw her face into her hands and leaned against the railing as she groaned in frustration. She texted Flynn an “SOS” text and then fled to her bedroom.
Luke was just as depressed about the whole situation. He stormed past Alex and Reggie and sat in solitude in the loft for the rest of the night. The jolts seemed to only get worse when he was sad. The boys tried to get his mind off of whatever was bothering him, but he shooed them away. He didn’t visit Julie’s room that night. He didn’t feel up to it, and he knew Julie wasn’t really feeling it either.
Flynn did her best to comfort Julie, but Julie was inconsolable. She ended up sobbing into Flynn’s chest the whole evening. The next morning was particularly gruesome for Julie. She forced herself out of bed, drank an ungodly amount of coffee, and put on her comfortable clothes. Needless to say, Flynn was incredibly concerned when she saw Julie in homeroom.
“Julie, should I call Dr. Turner? You don’t look too hot, I know those are your depression pants.”
Julie glanced down at her faded blue sweatpants that were originally full-length but were now capris. Yeah, maybe they had a few coffee stains and grease stains and little unexplainable holes but they were comfy, okay!
“Why would he do it, Flynn!? Why would he ever bring it up!? He knew it would only lead to pain for us both yet he did it anyway!” Julie exclaimed, ignoring Flynn's comment on her outfit
“Babes, boys are stupid sometimes. You can’t expect much from them, especially decades-old teenage boys”
“I thought Luke was different… that he actually thought things through before diving into them. He really seems that way”
“If you really think that, then maybe he did have a reason…”
“No. No, you’re right. He’s just stupid like the rest of them”
“It’ll be okay- just give it time. Plus, now you can focus on living guys…” Flynn smiled at the boy walking into the room.
“Hey Julie,” Nick waved, taking his seat in front of Julie.
Flynn raised her eyebrow, nudging Julie in the side.
“Not the time” Julie hissed
“Sorry?” Nick spun around in his seat
“Oh! Not you! So sorry. I was… I was talking to Flynn” Julie rushed
Nick smiled and scrunched his eyebrows together, hesitantly turning back to the front of the room.
“Well anyway, come with me. I know how to cheer you up” Flynn exclaimed.
Flynn bounced out of her seat and offered her hand to Julie. She dragged her into the girl’s bathroom, whipping out a bag of watermelon Sour Patch Kids and sitting on the bathroom floor. Julie sighed, trying to forget about how disgusting the deceivingly clean-looking floor probably was and sliding down the wall next to Flynn. Flynn held out the candy bag and Julie took a generous handful. It was going to be a long day.
/~/
“Dude you can’t just not tell her!” Reggie insisted, staring at the miserable Luke beside him
“I don’t think you should have told her anything in the first place, but now you owe her this!” Alex exclaimed
“I had to tell her, Alex! These jolts could end us today and I couldn’t be destroyed without her knowing how I feel! I just couldn’t let that happen…” Luke tried to hide his sobs in his hands, but his bandmates knew him too well.
“I think she did know, Luke” Alex responded, taking a gentler tone this time
“Well now she definitely does and she doesn’t seem too thrilled about it” Reggie blurted. Alex shot him a look over their hunched-over friend.
“Anyway,” Alex continued, “you need to tell her about the jolts. If we have any hope of crossing over, we need her.”
Luke groaned into his hands.
“I get you don’t really want to see her right now, but I don’t think any of us wants our soul destroyed”
“Alex is right” Reggie answered, patting Luke on the shoulder
“Can’t Alex do it?” Luke sniffed into his palms
Alex sighed, “I guess so.”
That night when Julie got home from school, Alex appeared in her room, knocking on the wall even though he was already inside.
“Julie?” He called softly. When he saw her curled up on her bed playing with the threads on her really really… loved sweatpants, he did his best to mask his reaction.
“Hey,” Julie muttered, kicking her abandoned homework off the bed to make room for Alex.
“You okay?” Alex asked, tentatively sitting down next to her.
“What do you think?”
“Yeah… okay” he gulped. Why in the world did he agree to this? “So, I can see you’re not doing well, but unfortunately I have more bad news…” he grimaced
“Well that’s fucking delightful” Julie snapped
Alex inhaled, “So this mysterious ghost dude basically put a curse on all of us and now he’s been giving us these really powerful jolts to try and force us to join his band and if we don’t he’ll destroy our souls BUT if we cross over then we won’t be destroyed and will go to heaven or whatever but we really need your help because we need to find our unfinished business and we think that it’s playing the Orpheum because we were about to do that before we died but we can’t really perform without you and I’m really sorry we ever talked to Caleb the evil ghost guy and we never meant to hurt you or drag you into this but this is where we are now and also Luke was supposed to tell you this but its too upset about the whole other thing so yeah sorry.” Alex spoke so quickly that his entire speech could be considered a word.
Julie replied with a very bitter, “That’s just great” and ordered Alex out of her room. Alex nodded, reminding her he was there if she ever needed to talk. She knew it wasn’t Alex’s fault, but she didn’t want to see any dead musicians right now.
After Alex filled him in on how the talk went with Julie, Luke only hated himself more. He probably shouldn’t have said anything, to Caleb or Julie, because now the whole band was in shambles and he could be blamed for all of it. He was the leader of the band, it was a democracy, but as the most passionate member and lead singer Luke made most of the executive decisions. He was the only one who could take responsibility for agreeing to meet Caleb. His job is to protect his band and he’d failed once with the street dogs and now when jeopardized his best friends’ lives, or afterlives, once again. And of course, he was to blame for hurting Julie. He allowed himself to be selfish and hurt Julie in the process. He should’ve known how much it would hurt them both, but what else could he do? He needed her to know. But Alex was probably right, it was selfish of him to bring it up when he and Julie could never be together. He could only hope that someday she would forgive him.
That someday came sooner than Luke thought, and while Luke might not have been fully forgiven, Julie seemed to have forgotten about the situation. She visited the garage late that night and a passionate pep talk later, the band was almost back to normal. They had their sights set on the Orpheum. Julie and Luke kept themselves busy enough with the mission that they hardly had time to dwell on their “interesting little relationship”. But the heartbreak was still there, like a dark cloud chasing them both around. Needless to say, their nighttime meetings ceased and they avoided talking to each other alone. It hurt too much.
/~/
They had just played the Orpheum. Overcome with the adrenaline of the performance and the crowd of cheering fans, Julie forgot that the band had crossed over. It wasn’t until she got home and visited the studio to reminisce that it all came back to her. It hit her like a semi-truck as she looked around the now seemingly lifeless studio.
“I know I already said this, but thank you guys” she called into the empty garage
She heard a weak, “You’re welcome” and her heart stopped. What the fuck? She turned the lights on to find her boys in a pile on the floor, coughing and groaning.
“Why… why are you here?! I… I thought…” she exclaimed as the boys were struck by another jolt, “No… no! I thought you crossed over! Why didn’t you cross over?”
“I guess playing the Orpheum wasn’t our unfinished business” Alex replied
“Point Caleb,” Reggie remarked
Luke made genuine eye contact with Julie for the first time since that night on her porch. “We wanted you to think that we crossed over, so we pretended to” he explained, “We just… We had nowhere else to go”
Julie desperately tried to convince the band to save themselves and join Caleb, but they refused. Luke walked up to her, tears pouring from his eyes.
“No music is worth making, Julie, if we’re not making it with you” he replied passionately. Julie sniffled, studying how the lakes of his irises seemingly spilled into reality. “No regrets” he whispered finally, taking a shallow breath
Julie reached forward, pulling him into her arms and sobbing into his neck. “I love you guys” she sniffled. Suddenly, she realized that she just touched Luke. She pulled back and stared at the yellow glow radiating from his whole body.
“How can I feel you?” She asked, the weight of the world on her words
“I… I… I don’t know” he replied, struggling to keep up with this new development
She gasped, cupping his face in her hands as he brushed away her tears. Julie wasn’t exactly sure what was happening, but she was touching him. He felt so warm under her palms, so real. Luke was in total shock. He could actually touch that radiant skin he hadn’t been able to get off his mind since he first laid eyes on her.
They were brought out of their moment when Julie called for Alex and Reggie to join in. They shared a magical group hug, causing all the boys to glow and their stamps to float away.
“I think the band’s back” Luke managed, beaming at Julie and only Julie
Per Alex’s request, they shared one more hug, bouncing up and down excitedly. Then, Alex poofed away to search for Willie, and Reggie finally took a hint, poofing out also, leaving Julie and Luke alone.
“Jules.. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just thought I didn’t have much time left and needed you to know how I felt. I know that’s selfish, and I’m really, really sorry. Please don’t hate me…”
“Luke, how could I ever hate you? Sure, I was a little bit mad when you… confessed… but I can’t stay mad at you now. This is what I’ve wanted all this time, just the chance to feel your skin against mine, I…” Julie trailed off
A single tear dripped down Julie’s cheek and Luke kissed the bead of salt off her skin. He pulled away and smiled, “Our interesting little relationship just got a little bit more interesting." He raised his hand to hold her jaw.
“Yeah,” Julie grinned, biting her lip. She wrapped her arms around Luke’s neck, pulling him down to her height. They beamed uncontrollably at each other, eyes fixated on the other. Luke inched closer to her in hopes she’d meet him halfway. She obviously did so, finally connecting their lips. Luke hummed in surprise at the warmth rushing through his veins causing Julie to breathily giggle into his mouth. He entangled his calloused fingers in her curls and refused to let her go. When she broke off, he followed her lips, eliciting yet another giggle from Julie. He chuckled also, his smile dominating his face.
“Finally” she sighed, her eyes twinkling
“Yeah,” he whispered in reply, “finally.”