Chapter Text
Two bros chillin in a hot tub
pads
heyyyyyyyy
reg asked for your number
wdy want me to say
prong
lmao why didn’t he just ask me
pads
idk man reg is weird
prong
ofc u can give him my number
y does he want it tho?
pads
james, do u honestly think he told me anything?
he doesn’t tell me shit ;-;
prong
L
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[New Message from: (917) 884-2090]
(917) 884-2090
hey it’s regulus
Save contact as: Baby black 🤪
Confirm
james
I gathered
sirius said u wanted my number?
Baby black 🤪
yeah
i’m doing this project where i have to write about someone from the perspective of another person
and i picked my brother through your eyes
james
mhm mhm sure
totally
Baby black 🤪
???
tf?
james
you’re funny baby black
it’s ok to say u find me incredibly attractive and wanted my number, i won’t be offended 😜
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Slytherin sour skittles
reg
someone fucking shoot me
pandabear
oh my god how did u already say something stupid to him
cassy
am i missing something?
who tf is regulus texting???
JAMES??
bart
LMAO THERES NO WAY
REG DID U ACTUALLY ASK FOR HIS NUMBER????
reg
killllll meeeeeeee
[screenshot: James’ text message reading “it’s ok to say u find me incredibly attractive and wanted my number, i won’t be offended 😜”]
barty’s bitch
💀
aint no way
cassy
i thought he was supposed to be stupid
damn he caught on fast
pandabear
pls tell me u haven’t left him on read for ten minutes reg
reg
…
pandabear
men i swear
i can’t w u
just text something back!
reg
BUT WHAT
WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY???
bart
just tell him yes
and that u want him to kiss you
and you can also tell him about that picture…
reg
OH MY GOD BARTY
IM LEAVING THE GROUP CHAT
cassy
OH NO YOU FUCKING DONT YOU HORNY BITCH
— — —
— — —
Baby black chat
Baby black 🤪
i did not consent to that chat name
Baby black 🤪 changed the chat name to: Sirius is annoying
James
oh come on he’s not that bad
Baby black 🤪
you only say that cause u don’t live w him
trust me on this one
James
i literally live with him
he's my actual roomate
Baby black 🤪
oh trust me I have it so much worse
James
ok fine
(don't tell him i said that tho)
Baby black 🤪
yeah yeah your secret’s safe with me or whatever
James
:)))))))
— — —
— — —
Slytherin sour skittles
reg
OK
I DIDNT FUCK IT UP
barty’s bitch
*slow claps in the background*
congrats?
reg
oh fuck u evan
mr. called-me-at-three-in-the-fucking-morning-to-ask-what-to-write-barty
bart
omg wait evan did u really
barty’s bitch
um
no
you didn’t see that
cassy
this chat gives me a headache
you fucking lovesick gays
reg
oh don’t even start w me meadowes
cassy
try me black
reg
would you like to see the screenshots i have from three weeks ago?
right after your date with mckinnon?
cassy
jesus ok you’ve made your point
i need new friends
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Gryffindor Baddies
lilypad
hot take: having a single room is fucking lonely
moony
nooooo lily
give me five minutes i’ve got cheap wine and sirius’ netflix
lilypad
god what would i do without u?
wormtail
um
you do have the rest of us too yk?
just? putting that out there?
moony
she just likes me better than the rest of u :)
prongs
i mean tbh who doesn’t (i would literally marry you)
padfoot
huh?
we’re marrying moony?
where can i sign up
marls
kinda gay ngl
padfoot
oh shut up mckinnon the amount u drool over your girlfriend is sickening
marls
yeah but have u seen my girlfriend???
moony
she’s got u there black
padfoot
u literally like men???
prongs
sirius you’d have to be actually blind to not find dorcas attractive
marls
oi back away from my girlfriend boys
lilypad
remus u almost here
I need something to do besides watch this trainwreck of a gc
moony
almost there
prongs
oh padfoot regulus texted me btw
marls
you’re texting regulus black?
why???
prongs
idk some english major thing
he needs to do a “descriptive writing project” whatever that means
marls
that’s…also kinda gay
padfoot
dude
wormtail
*eats popcorn*
this is getting interesting