Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sam raps his knuckles on the doorframe, leaning into it. “Howdy, Sheriff.”

Dean looks up from his desk with a knowing look, sighing and gathering the papers strewn about the desk. “Hilarious. Anything?”

“Nothing. Colt’s as helpful as ever, no word from Cass, and I don’t think they’re gonna be putting up cell towers any time soon.” He watches Dean stand up and straighten the files before dropping them into a desk drawer unceremoniously.

“Great. Y’know I’m gettin’ tired of this sheriff shit, Sam. Movies never said anything about fuckin’ paperwork.” He steps around his desk, boots thumping against the dusty wood floor as he steps past Sam and knocks their shoulders together in passing.

Sam just smiles at the contact, following after him. “Thought you liked reading?”

“Bite me.” Dean tips his hat to a passing resident as he exits the building, a tight lipped courteous smile stretching his lips for a brief second before his mouth twists itself into a scowl again. He glances behind him briefly to make sure Sam’s still following before crossing the street and making his way to the stables where their horses are tied.

Sam pats his shoulder and passes as they enter, thanking the stable hand and climbing up onto his horse. “Could take a break, you know. I mean, we’ve been stuck here for what, almost a year now? Nothing’s happened.”

Dean climbs up onto his own horse, letting Sam take the lead this time as they exit and canter down the road towards the outskirts of town. “That’s what I’m worried about, Sammy. When has nothing ever been good?”

Sam breathes out a sigh, knowing Dean’s right but more than a little tired of his complaining. “Just think about it, yeah? Can take the day off tomorrow, go for a hike or something.”

Dean looks at Sam’s back as he speaks, studying the curve of his arms through his shirt, the bounce of his hips as he rides the way Dean taught him to. “Yeah.” He swallows, clearing his throat quickly. “I’ll think about it.”

They’re home before he has time to think about the feeling that’s twisting his guts into a knot, quickly dismounting his horse and patting her nose as he leads her to the area behind the large farmhouse that they’d fixed up just for the horses. “There you go, Baby. Good girl.”

Sam follows after him, shaking his head. “Still can’t believe you named a horse after your car.”

“Right, and Snuffles is any better?”

“He already had a name! You know it’s all he’ll respond to!”

Dean waves him off, checking that the horses have enough water and food before pushing past Sam yet again and heading up to the front porch.

Sam follows after him, watching him close and boring holes in the back of his head with his eyes.

“What?” Dean says, not looking up from where he’s struggling to slot the key into the lock.

Sam starts, blinking. “What?”

“You’re staring at me, what’s the matter?”

“How the hell–”

“Been around you all my life, Sam. Come on, spit it out.” Dean finally gets the door unlocked and holds it open for Sam as he enters, hanging his hat and jacket by the door and sitting on the steps to wrestle off his boots.

“S’nothin’. Just.. Glad you’re here.”

Dean rolls his eyes, smirking at Sam’s sentimentality and clapping a hand against his shoulder as he passes him and heads for the kitchen. “Nowhere else to go, Sammy.” The way he says it sounds almost alien to him, something in his tone twisting the meaning of the words. He quickly steps out of view before Sam has time to question him, pulling a bottle down from the cabinet along with two glasses.

Sam catches it, rolls it over in his head like a marble. He kicks his shoes off, following after Dean and watching him from the doorway. “Thought you hated that stuff.”

Dean shrugs, filling his glass and downing it in the same movement before screwing up his face and shaking it off. “Eugh. Not many options when it comes to getting drunk around here. Hammered or barely tipsy and nowhere in between.”

Sam’s mesmerized by him as he does it yet again, watching the way Dean swallows closely before snapping himself out of it and making a face. He crosses the kitchen and grabs the glass Dean had filled for him, swallowing the amber liquid and making the same face as Dean as it burns it’s way down. “Blech.. Nasty shit.”

“Uh-huh. Another?”

“Sure.”

They stand there for a bit, leaning against the counter and eventually abandoning the glasses in favor of just passing the bottle back and forth. Dean thinks about how gorgeous Sam looks when he clumsily spills alcohol down the side of his mouth. Sam thinks about how each pass of the bottle is an indirect kiss shared between them. Neither of them speak.

When the bottle runs dry, Dean staggers away from the counter to discard the bottle, spell momentarily broken. “Fuck. Think my organs are on fire.”

“Nasty shit.” Sam repeats, straightening himself up against the counter as he sucks in a deep breath. “Thought about taking time off?”

“Thinking about it. You coming with?”

“Yeah.” Always, he wants to say. Wherever you go.

“Good.” He steps back up to Sam, looking him over with an unreadable expression. “Good, good..”

“Dean?” Sam looks him over, blinking when Dean lifts a hand to push Sam’s hair out of his face. “Hey, you okay?” His voice comes out softer this time, both in tone and volume.

“Sammy, what are we doing?” Dean’s voice comes out shaky and he hates himself for it. He’s supposed to be the strong one, cracking jokes and being everything but serious, but now? He wonders how he ever cracked jokes to begin with.

“Surviving, Dean. Like always. You know that.” Sam says softly, not moving as Dean looks over his face with a pained pathetic expression and suddenly slumps against his chest.

“I know.. God, I know.” He hooks his arms around Sam, balling his hands into fists against his back and gripping onto his shirt like he might disappear. “I don’t think I can keep doing this, Sam. What if we never get out of here?”

Sam’s stunned for a second, not used to hearing Dean’s fear so close to the surface, laid out where he can see it. He sucks in a breath, squeezing Dean tight. “It’ll be okay. We’ll.. We’ll get through it. Just gotta have faith in Cass, right?”

Dean leans back to look at him, an expression on his face that Sam hasn’t seen in ages, never wants to see again. He’s scared, really scared, pleading for something with his eyes that not even he knows.

Sam’s closing the gap before he even realizes he’s moved, pressing a kiss to Dean’s lips like his life depends on it. He tastes the sickening burn of the alcohol on Dean’s lips mixed with a sweetness that’s only Dean’s and suddenly Dean has his fingers tangled in his hair and his tongue in his mouth and nothing’s ever felt more right.

Sam leans into him more, tongues and teeth clashing together in a display of pure need, desperation coloring the air around them in a haze. He’s suddenly aware of everything, the feel of Dean’s breath ghosting against his face, the friction of the two of them pressing so close their bones might meld together, the sound of their hearts hammering in their chests.

“Sammy.. God, Sammy..” Dean whispers, pulling him closer to him still and savoring the taste of him like he might vanish if they stop.

“Dean..” Sam mumbles the word against his lips, breaking the kiss for air and huffing out softly as he looks him over. “Could you be happy here? With me?”

Dean looks at him as if he’s seeing him for the first time, his senses suddenly overflowing all at once. The heat of Sam’s body, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, the scent of shitty alcohol and sweat and something uniquely Sam.. Something about all of it shocks him to his core. He brings his hands up to hold the sides of Sam’s face without even processing that his hands are moving, holding onto him tight. “Yeah.. ‘Course I could.” He speaks softly, afraid talking any louder might shatter the air around them, pull him from what’s surely just a dream.

Sam presses his hands over Dean’s, leaning in to kiss his forehead before pressing his own against it. “Know you’re not really the domestic life kind of guy, but..”

Dean can’t help but laugh, leaning into him with a grin Sam hasn’t seen from him in ages. “Yeah, right. Really have set up our perfect little picket fence haven up here, haven’t we?”

“Mhm.” Sam’s smiling too, keeping a hold on Dean’s hands as he steps back a bit. “Get a dog and a marriage license in here and it just might be perfect.”

“Marriage, huh? That even legal yet? Ignoring the other.. Obvious issue.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “You’re the sheriff, you tell me.”

Dean blinks, glancing back down at the badge still pinned to his chest like he’d forgotten it even existed. “Right, yeah.. Think you owe me a couple date nights before we start talkin’ about marriage though, huh?”

“I’ll think about it.” He steps away, keeping contact with his fingers as long as possible. “You go on up, I’ll check the lines.”

“‘Kay. Don’t take too long.”

Sam shoos him off towards the steps, going to check the salt lines at the doors and windows. He follows up after Dean once he’s doubly sure that none of them have been broken, pushing open Dean’s bedroom door and poking his head in. “Dean?”

“Yours.” Dean calls from down the hallway, his voice muffled by the shirt he’s trying to haul over his head.

Sam follows the sound of his voice to his own bedroom, stepping into the doorway just in time for Dean to toss the shirt at his head. “Right, nice. Thanks for that.”

“Always welcome, Sammy. Hurry up.” He tosses the rest of his clothes to the floor, kicking them to a corner of the room and flopping onto Sam’s bed unceremoniously.

Sam follows suit, adding his own clothes to the pile and crawling up next to Dean before squeezing him in close.

“Better not crush me to death, asshole. I’ll come back and haunt you.” He mumbles the words into Sam’s shoulder, burying his face in it.

“Mhm.. Whatever you say.”

Dean passes out cold in a matter of minutes, the sound of Sam’s heartbeat acting as a lullaby. The last thing he thinks of before sleep claims him is how perfect this feels.

Sam listens to his breathing a while, rubbing a thumb over his back gently. He knows Dean's more tired than he wants anyone to know, even him. He's always taken care of Sam even when he couldn't take care of himself, even when the world was falling apart around the both of them in both a literal and metaphorical sense. Dean's strong, sure, but he shouldn't have to run himself ragged the way he's been doing. Sam takes a deep breath, kissing Dean's head as he closes his eyes.

"Gonna take care of you now, Dean.. Mark my words." He whispers the words into the empty room, the shadows around them bearing witness to his promise as he leans into Dean and finally dozes off.

Chapter Text

Dean stirs first the next morning, squinting at the beam of sunlight filtering through the window that might’ve been beautiful had it not been shining directly into his eyes. He buries his face into Sam’s chest without processing the notion, going completely still as Sam lets out a sleepy groan and pulls him closer. “Uh, Sammy?”

“Mm.. Hm?”

Dean sighs, knowing by the tone of Sam’s voice that he’s not even remotely amongst the living yet. “Sam.” He brings his hands up to squish Sam’s cheeks, pinching til Sam makes a face and swats at his hands aimlessly.

“What, what? I’m up..” Sam shoves one of his hands away with a yawn, moving to roll over and go right back to sleep before processing that his legs are tangled with Dean’s and snapping his eyes open. “Oh.. Hey.” His voice comes out soft, his hand moving to cup Dean’s cheek of its own accord. “Gotta be dreaming.”

“‘Fraid not, handsome. Know I always picked on you for having bad taste in the ladies but this has gotta be a new low.” Dean’s smiling as he says it, a natural, easy smile that hasn’t come to him in some time now.

Sam smiles right back at him, shaking his head. “Can’t be serious for one second, can you?”

“You’d just love that, wouldn’t you?” He leans in and presses their lips together, snaking his arms around Sam’s neck and holding him close by the back of his head. He kisses him lazily, running his fingers through his hair and pressing them over his scalp.

Sam leans into him and melts, pressing his hand flat against the small of Dean’s back. “Mm.. Breakfast?”

“What, in a hurry to get away from me?” Dean doesn’t mean it at all, a telltale smirk on his face.

“Shut up. Need to get packed up so we can head out. And you’ve gotta head into town and let them know we’ll be gone for a bit.”

“Ordering me around.” He swings his legs over the side of the bed, watching Sam cross the room to dig through the dresser. He’s quiet for a minute, studying the curve of Sam’s back. “Hey.”

“Hm?”

“You’re really okay with all this?”

“Y’know if I had any doubts about this you wouldn’t be sitting on my bed right now.”

“Sammy.”

Sam looks at him as soon as he catches the tone in his voice. “Sorry. Say what you need to.”

“This life. Us, together, our house and our horses. That dog you keep askin’ for if we can find one. Is this really what you want?”

“Dean.” He crosses the room again, setting their clothes next to him on the bed as he sits down and takes Dean’s hand. He squeezes it tight, meeting his eyes. “I want this. For both of us, more than anything. You of all people deserve this life. Ben and Lisa, that was.. You were happy. And I just had to come in and ruin things.”

Dean scoffs, keeping a hold on his hand still. “Right, like I didn’t do the exact same shit to you. Stole your future, Sammy. My fault you’re even sitting in this damn mess right now.”

“Enough, Dean. I’m a grown man, I can make my own choices. if I didn’t want to be here I wouldn’t be. Hell, I could be in another state by now. Not like we have to be next to each other for Cass to do his zapping thing.”

“Sam–” Dean’s voice is shaking again and it just breaks Sam’s heart into pieces.

“Stop. Just.. stop, okay? I don’t blame you for anything. I’m not doing this because I think I have to, or because we’re stuck here, or for whatever dumb reason your brain can come up with.” He takes Dean’s other hand, lacing their fingers together and kissing his knuckles. “I’ve wanted a life like this for as long as I can remember. And I want it with you. If we go back home tomorrow,, I’ll still want you. Nobody else.”

Dean takes a breath, keeping his eyes on Sam. He wants to get down on his knees and beg, plead for Sam to promise he’ll stay. He hates that part of himself, the one that’s been clinging to Sam like a scared little kid ever since he first left for college. The truth of the matter is Dean will always blame himself for that, no matter how many times Sam swears it isn’t his fault. It keeps him up at night still, the thought that Sam could be some big time lawyer by now, living with Jess and 2.5 kids had he not shown up that night to haul him off on a job. He looks into Sam’s eyes and sees he’s telling the truth and nothing but. He swallows and squeezes his hands. “Yeah. Okay. Good.”

“Dean, I mean it.”

“I know you do. I know.” He leans in, kissing Sam on the mouth. “I just want you to be happy, Sammy.”

“I am happy. Right here with you.”

“I love you.” Dean spits the words out without thinking, almost shocked at himself. He’s never really been one to say it first, never been one to say it often either. Life or death situations, last goodbyes, end of the world.. Never like this. He’s scared by how much he means it.

“I love you too.” Sam knows just how important this is, to both of them. Knows how hard it is for Dean to say those words. He makes a note to say it enough for both of them. “More than anything.”

Dean smiles, pulling his hands away and patting Sam’s shoulder as he stands and clears his throat. “Right, enough girly talk. Got work to do.” He grabs the clothes Sam picked out for him and turns his back to pull them on.

“Ha. Whatever you say, Sheriff.” Sam pulls his own clothes on, kissing Dean’s cheek as he heads downstairs to dig through the kitchen for something to eat. “Grab some supplies while you’re out, see if Elkins has anything good for the road.”

“Yeah, got it. How’s food looking?” Dean pulls his boots on, pinning his badge to his shirt and heading in the kitchen to grab a drink.

“Could stand to get more meat. Try to catch something while we’re out.”

“Got it. We’ll get the horses loaded up when I get back, you just pack up everything we already have.”

“On it.” Sam grabs Dean’s arm as he turns for the door, pulling him in to kiss him on the mouth. “Be safe.”

“Yeah. I will.” Dean smiles, grabbing his jacket and hat before hurrying out the door.

Chapter Text

Dean ties Baby to a post around the back entrance of the saloon where he usually does on supply runs, rubbing her nose gently and patting her side as he steps away from her. “Be back in a second, pretty girl.” He pulls open the back door, rapping his knuckles on the frame as he steps inside. “You in, old man?”

Elkins scoffs, looking up from the crates he’s organizing. “Old man? Is that how you greet me?”

“Not satisfied with anything, are you?” Dean saunters over to one of the open crates on the floor, pulling out a few bottles of the stuff he knows both him and Sam can actually stand to drink. “How’s business been?”

“‘Bout the usual. Heading off somewhere?” Elkins takes the bottles from him, moving to wrap them up out of habit.

“Mhm. Heading out of town for a day or two with the missus. Been nagging me to take a break for a while now.” He follows after Elkins as he heads into the main area and behind the bar counter.

“Mhm? You finally say something?”

“What do you mean?” Dean takes the glass Elkins sets in front of him, knocking it back and swallowing hard.

“Doesn’t take a genius to see there’s something going on there, Sheriff. Two of you bicker like an old married couple. Would know, my wife and I used to be the same way.”

“That obvious, huh?” Dean watches him fill the glass again, sipping at it lazily this time. “He uh.. Said something last night. About wanting to marry me. Don’t know if it was him or the alcohol talking.”

“Did he now?” Elkins packs the bottles into a bag, pulling a bag of salt out from behind the counter and dropping it in as well. “And?”

Dean shakes his head. “Told him he owes me a few dates first.”

Elkins cracks a smile, looking him over amusedly. “Really? Did you mean it?”

“‘Course I didn’t mean it.” He finishes off his glass, setting it upside down on top of the bar. “I mean.. Hell, I’ve known the guy all my life. Been through everything together, it’s just.. I’m not sure if I could go through with it.”

Elkins watches him, sighing tiredly before leaning against the bar. “Listen, kid.. Time’s not gonna wait for you to be sure. Now that Sam of yours, he just might. But do you really want to keep him waiting til you’re both rotting in the ground?”

Dean looks him over, mulling the words over. “..No. No, I don’t.”

“Good man.” Elkins pats his shoulder, taking the glass and setting it behind the counter to be cleaned. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

“Right, thanks.” Dean clears his throat, following Elkins out the back door. He climbs up onto Baby, watching Elkins untie her lead from the post. “Really. Appreciate it.”

“Ah, it’s not a problem, son.” He hands the bag up to Dean, waiting for him to get it situated before digging into his pocket. “Want you to take this.”

Dean blinks, staring at the ring in his hand. It’s a plain metal band, worn on the edges. “Ah, I can’t–”

“Wasn’t asking. You take this and you ask that boy to marry you. And don’t y’all come back til it’s done, you got it?”

Dean smiles, taking the ring from him and stuffing it in his pocket. “Yes sir.” He tips his hat to him, riding off back towards the house.

Chapter Text

They’d moved into the farmhouse a couple weeks after they’d gotten stranded in the past. Elkins let them board in the rooms above the saloon for a period of time before he had to turn them out so the girls could continue their business upstairs. Elkins had done a lot for them, as squirrelly as the man had seemed when they’d first arrived. Suppose saving the town from a deranged murderer changes people’s hearts.

The house had belonged to a sizable family living on the outskirts of town, a group of rich folks who’d moved out that way for freedom or new beginnings or whatever the hell it was they were chasing. A nasty poltergeist had taken over the house and run the whole family screaming into town. It was an easy enough job for Sam and Dean to deal with but, naturally, after watching their family member get his head twisted clean around, they weren’t too thrilled about coming back home. They’d signed the house over to Sam and Dean as a thank you, leaving most of their possessions behind.

Dean considered it a marvelous stroke of luck considering how shit they’d had it recently. Sam had bitched about how it didn’t feel right to steal a family’s home away from them (along with a whole heap of other shit Dean had ignored) but after a night on an actual comfortable bed, he’d shut up.

It was odd at first, getting used to a regular life. As regular as life could be without indoor plumbing and toothbrushes at least. They had plenty of experience hunting things, so gathering food was no problem and there were hardly any jobs in town besides the occasional cursed or possessed object brought through by traders. It was a peaceful life, something they still weren’t used to, something they weren’t sure they even deserved.

Dean’s been rolling all of this over in his mind the entire time he’s been riding back home, only snapping out of his thoughts when a rabbit runs across the path and startles Baby. “Woahhh, it’s okay.. Just a bunny, pretty girl. Not scared of a little bunny, are you?” She seems to calm down at his words, shaking her head almost in response. “That’s right, you’ve got it. Let’s get home to Sammy, yeah?”

Sam looks up as he comes up the path, a grin splitting his face as he waves to Dean. Dean smiles back, bringing Baby to a stop next to him and climbing off of her. “Miss me?”

“Something like that.” Sam rests a hand against his side, leaning down a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “Get anything good?”

“Alcohol, a pound of salt, good stuff. Sure Elkins threw some stuff in there while I was busy having my morning drink.”

“Uh-huh. Forgot breakfast.” Sam holds out a piece of jerky, shoving one in his own mouth before putting the bag back into Snuffles’ saddlebags.

“Filling. See if we can find any deer this time, I don’t think rabbits are gonna keep cutting it.” He shoves it in his mouth anyways, moving to pack his share of things onto Baby. “Didn’t forget anything, did you?”

“Not that I’m aware of.” He watches Dean, looking him over. “Damn beautiful, you know that?”

Dean looks at him with an eyebrow raised, an amused little smile on his face. “You feelin’ okay, Sammy?”

“Fine. Perfect, actually.” He takes Dean’s hand, pulling him in close and pressing their lips together gently.

Dean leans up into him, running his fingers into his hair with a content little hum. “Miss me that much?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Sam murmurs, leaning in to trail kisses up Dean’s neck.

Dean’s breath stutters a second and he moves to lean his head back, gripping Sam’s hair tight as his teeth graze his neck. “Woah, woah, hey.. Easy, tiger.”

Sam pulls back with the expression of a kicked puppy. “Too far?”

“No, no.. Later. Have to get on the road so we can make it in time to set up camp. Can have me to yourself then, yeah?” Dean kisses him again, holding it a minute longer before pulling back.

Sam’s expression quickly changes to a relieved smile and he nods, patting Dean’s side. “Let’s get going, then.” He steps away from him, moving to climb up onto Snuffles’ back.

Dean shakes his head with a smirk, climbing up onto Baby behind him. “Put some pep in your step, huh, Romeo?”

“You ever shut up?” Sam leads the way down the path, towards the woods.

“Nah.” Dean follows after him, falling into step next to him as the path widens.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”