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“Goodnight and goodbye, Doumeki-kun”
“Goodnight. Take care.” Doumeki said to Kohane-chan and Oba-san. He waved and watched them walk down the street. When they disappeared around a corner, he trudged back to the house, feeling just a little tired.
It had been the fifteenth birthday Watanuki had celebrated since inheriting the shop and Oba-san wanted to make it extra special. Fifteen years as the shop owner and Watanuki was showing signs of having mastered the ins and outs of the business. The food had been wonderful and Watanuki had opened one of the special sake bottles from the store room. Watanuki had looked like he really enjoyed the celebration.
But for Doumeki, it was another knife through his heart. It was one more reminder of a year gone by without anything happening between them. He wasn’t going to force anything to happen. No. He was not that kind of man and he loved Watanuki too much to do anything that would deny him entrance to the shop forever.
Some nights, he thought about Yuuko and all that she had said about Hitsuzen. There were no coincidences. So was all this waiting and hoping (and hinting) some part of a great plan? On those nights, he would sleep with a bitter feeling. Hitsuzen aside, Watanuki surely wasn’t so dense.
Surely, Watanuki had realized by now why he had kept coming back to shop every time that he could. Surely Watanuki the shop keeper knew. How could he not when it was a wish that Doumeki whispered every night?
He sighed as he took off his shoes at the front door. He wasn’t given to moping, especially not like a lovesick dog. It was only on Watanuki’s birthday that he ever felt this morose. He walked to the veranda where Watanuki was sitting with a half empty bottle of sake and an empty glass beside him.
Doumeki’s eyes narrowed. That bottle had been full when he had walked Kohane-chan and Oba-san to the gate.
Watanuki must have heard him making his way across the room because he turned and smiled. When Doumeki sat down beside him, Watanuki pushed the bottle of sake and the glass to one side and moved closer.
“This is not like me at all.” Watanuki whispered in a self-deprecating voice. “Not like me at all.”
Doumeki stared at Watanuki. He was flushed and his eyes were slightly watery. Those were not good signs.
“I have never felt like this. For once I’m lost for words.” Watanuki sighed and gazed at out at the garden.
“Watanuki.” He said.
Suddenly Watanuki frowned, “Shut it, Doumeki.”
“You’re drunk.” He pointed out though he was unsure of it.
“Shut up. Just let me talk for once.” Watanuki snapped
Now it was Doumeki’s turn to frown. Where did Watanuki get that idea that he never once had a word in? Of the two of them, he was the more talkative. Then the frowned deepened. Sure, Watanuki talked a lot but he hadn’t once said the words Doumeki wanted to hear…words Doumeki waited for because then it meant that there was no way he was forcing Watanuki at all when he’d kiss him for the first time.
He studied Watanuki who continued to frown at the garden. Seconds later, the frown softened and Watanuki turned his gaze to his hands which gripped his knees, “I’ve never thought I’d know the kind of love you’ve shown me.”
Doumeki’s eyes widened just the barest of a fraction. Did he just hear that correctly? His mind did backtracks, repeating the words Watanuki over and over again like a broken record. He wasn’t saying what he was saying, was he? But the pinkish tint in Watanuki’s cheeks that grew deeper by the second told him the truth.
Watanuki was confessing something.
Then something jumped into Doumeki’s mind. A memory or a shard of a dream, he couldn’t say. In it, Watanuki was whispering something about it not being the right time…But it had definitely been something close to a confession. And Watanuki had definitely kissed him then but not on the lips.
Now seeing Watanuki uttering lines like ‘Now, no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I see your face appearing’ and ‘I can’t work it out at all, whatever made you choose me’ while a half empty bottle of sake lay nearby brought mixed feelings in Doumeki.
First of them was irritation. Why should there be any other reason for Doumeki to choose Watanuki other than the fact that he was Watanuki? There was also no need for Watanuki to get drunk and to blabber. A small gesture would have been fine. Doumeki would have understood immediately and it would have saved Watanuki the obvious discomfort. Then again, Doumeki felt great appreciation for the effort Watanuki was putting into it. It was obvious Watanuki had carefully chosen his words so that each one underscored the meaning he wanted Doumeki to understand.
And so Doumeki continued to stare, just a little afraid that if he spoke too soon, Watanuki would stop and he would never know where the confession might have led to.
“…those times you look at me as though you couldn’t bear to lose me. I should have known then…”
Watanuki paused and Doumeki chose this time to say what was in his heart. But all that came out was: “Watanuki, you’re drunk.”
Watanuki’s head snapped in his direction, “Idiot, that’s not the point. The point is I—”
And no words came out. Doumeki raised a brow, You what, Watanuki?
A miserable look came over Watanuki’s face. He opened and closed his mouth several times. Still, nothing but air came out. Glumly, he tilted his head downwards. Then slowly, he reached out, took Doumeki’s hand and pressed his cheek against his palm.
Compared to all that Watanuki had said, this brought home the message, like an arrow hitting the bull’s eye.
Doumeki drew Watanuki close until they were inches away. This was the closest he had gotten to Watanuki and he could see unmistakably in Watanuki’s eyes the very emotions that were roiling inside of him now.
“You could have just kissed me if it pained you so much to talk about it that you had to get drunk.” Doumeki whispered.
“Idiot.” Watanuki replied as he leaned in and kissed Doumeki deeply and slowly.
Hitsuzen, Doumeki thought. Finally.