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His eyes glanced up at her, observing her shocked but worried face, before drifting across his teammates, who were all staring at him with a mix of determination and fear in their eyes, and he made a decision.
It was a decision that was hard to make; it was one that he would likely regret; it was one that he had been berated for previously, but it was the only thing to save them all. It was the only thing to guarantee their safe return, and guarantee his descent into his long-craved death.
He stared up towards the entrance back into the overworld, before he looked back down at his hands, a ball of energy forming in his palm, that energy surrounding his teammates, an attempt to teleport them to the surface.
Yelan looked down at her hands, and then her legs, confused as to why the energy had surrounded her — and then, it hit, her head snapping up, a feeling of dread filling her heart. Fear and panic shot through her veins as she looked at him, realizing what exactly the elemental energy surrounding her meant; he was trying to save everyone… He was trying to save everyone except himself.
Her eyes were wide and stricken with fear as she stared at him for a moment, just barely observing the way he could not even bear to look at her, eyes fixed on the device in front of him, fingers tightening around the ball of energy.
There was no hesitation in her movement at all, no – she broke free of the energy, grabbing him and pulling him towards her with a shrill cry, in hopes of her teleporting to the surface with him in her arms, but all it did was distract him enough to send everybody else off except the two of them.
He tried to break free of her tight grasp, the same fear she felt now flooding his brain, realizing what she had done, “No, no, no, Yelan–”
The surface beneath them began to crack even more as she held onto his wriggling body, adrenaline coursing through her veins, and she shook her head, eyes stricken with fear, “If you go down, so do I,”
“No, that’s not right, oh god,”
They could hear the cracks spreading through the surface, and finally, it shattered, their bodies beginning the descent back down into the underground, Xiao’s panicked yell filling the air around them.
In what was supposed to be his peaceful last moments, he was full of fear and regret, body curling around hers, holding her close to him, trying his best to protect her from the inevitable hit to the ground — though, it was clearly to no use. They would die together. And it was of her own accord.
Yelan… Felt no fear. Nothing at all. In fact, it seemed as if her mind finally seemed to quiet, faced with her death — a death she had craved for so long. A thrill she had seeked for so long. As his body curled around hers, arms pulling her closer, flipping their bodies so he was the one on the bottom, she felt nothing; she felt no fear, no regret, and if anything, the only semblance of emotion she felt was betrayal, but it was pushed to the back of her mind. At least, this way, they’d be dying together, and she would not have to live with the loss of another comrade; she would not have to live with more guilt; the guilt that she could not save another once again.
Her legs tangled with his, arms wrapping around him, bodies close together — in their last moments, it was bittersweet. It was something close to a romantic interaction, at least in her mind; bodies tangled together, faces close, arms intimately wrapped around the other; she found peace. Peace in her last moments with him, tangled together, dying together, their souls left to rest in the presence of the other.
“Yelan,” He just barely whispered, “Why?”
She could not respond. There was nothing to respond with — her act of attempting to go down with him was nothing short of selfish and unwarranted, and perhaps, she was trying to save them both by grabbing him, thinking that if he was in the energy with her, they would teleport to the surface together, but alas, things do not always work the way she wants them to.
Time seemed to slow. She could only watch how the fear drained from his eyes, and he accepted what was happening, understanding that there was no saving for either of them. That there would be no happy ending, no miracle; they were to die, and they would die together. He met her eyes, lips slightly parted, and he pulled her in as close as he could, as though he were embracing her, and she made a split second decision. A decision that she had been aching to make since the minute she laid eyes upon him.
Closing the distance between them, their lips connected, a bittersweet kiss to share during their death, and there was no hesitation in his reciprocation, none at all; it was a slow and tender kiss, almost too tender for what was happening in the current moment, but nonetheless, it was sweet. Intimately connected, legs tangled together, arms wrapped around each other, their bodies descending fast towards the underground; but it all didn’t matter.
Perhaps it was a bit selfish of her, to kiss him like this in their last moments, to kiss him like they had been lovers, like they had been anything but comrades, teammates; however, she just could not help herself. If anything, it was a dying wish — to kiss him with all her might — let him know how she truly feels.
She disconnected herself from his lips, a look of pure adoration filling her face, peace spreading throughout her mind, and in her last moments, she could only apologize, aware of how she brought them both down, and he could only hold her tight, trying his best to brace her from the impact of the fall.
And it happened — the moment they hit the ground, bodies slamming against the dirt, bones cracking and twisting, blood spilling out from broken skin; the pain spread through her body, as it did his, but there was no shrill cry of pain and anguish from him; it seemed the impact had killed him instantly. And though she was due for death as well, the life slipping from her eyes, seeing his dead body cradled in her arms made her want to vomit, and she let go of him, just barely scooting away from him, body lurching forward and bloodied bile coming up from her stomach, heaving as she violently gagged.
Her limbs ached, broken and twisted, her head spinning and pulsing from the impact of the fall, and she could feel the life slipping out of her, staring at his peaceful face, how he had accepted his death, and once again, she crawled over to him, curling up against him, the tears finally slipping from her dulled eyes, gripping his cold, dead hands, and finally, she let go, the darkness taking over her vision, her pulse stopping.
There was no saving for either of them, no; they had died together, clutching each other, sharing a bittersweet kiss, a romantic interaction that seemed unfit for their situation; but none of it mattered. The act of a sacrifice to save everyone had gone wrong, but it had gone wrong in the best possible way.
She had finally gotten what she wanted, the sweet release of death, the release of her guilt, finally feeling at peace as she was faced with her grueling death; he had finally gotten what he wanted, without having to directly inflict it upon himself, without the psychological effects of going insane, and even though he may carry the guilt of her death over to the afterlife, he understands that she had accepted her inevitable death long before he had met her.
In their last moments, they did not bother to think about the teams’ reaction, no — they didn't want to think about Yanfei’s sorrowed scream, how she fell to her knees, sobbing over the loss of her dearest friends; they did not want to think about Lumine’s stoic reaction, realizing she once again has been faced with the loss of her comrade and close friend; they did not want to think about Shinobu, and how it would affect her; they did not want to think about anything but their incoming death.
They did not want to think about anything except themselves, and the satisfaction they were to receive from this pain, and perhaps it made them selfish to be delighted in such a way — perhaps it made her a hypocrite finding peace in her suicide, after berating him for suggesting his; perhaps they were equally as fucked up as the other, and hated to admit it.
Xiao and Yelan were not to be found. They were to rot, deep below the surface, having died in each others’ arms, in an act of saving the others in exchange for their own lives, perhaps with a hint of selfishness added in — they were not to be found.
Perhaps the only thing that would remain of them is their skeletons, bones tangled together, showing a bittersweet attempt at continuing in the next life together, souls intertwined and left to rest together, connecting them for the next life and the many more that may follow.