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English
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Part 22 of The Blood Gulch Archives
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Published:
2024-03-27
Completed:
2024-03-27
Words:
690
Chapters:
4/4
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13
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Grifball - Tex

Summary:

[TEXAS]
Hey, Church, I need to have a word with you and the others.

[CHURCH]
Does it have to be all the others? I can only tolerate so much stupidity in an enclosed space, you know.

Chapter 1: Opening

Chapter Text

[Click]

 

[TEXAS]

Hey, Church, I need to have a word with you and the others.

 

[CHURCH]

Does it have to be all the others? I can only tolerate so much stupidity in an enclosed space, you know.

 

[TEXAS]

I mean, you’ve been doing a pretty good job of it your whole life.

 

[CHURCH]

(Sarcastically) Haha. Church is stupid. Wow. Original.

 

[TEXAS]

Church, now.

 

[CHURCH]

Fine.

 

(Over a speaker)

 

Listen up, dumbasses. Tex wants to speak to us, and because I don’t really feel like getting my balls kicked in, I’d appreciate it if you could come. Thanks.

 

[Click]

Chapter 2: Meeting

Chapter Text

[Click]

 

[TUCKER]

So, what’s this about?

 

[TEXAS]

The Archives.

 

[GRIF]

Wow! The Archives! The place we’re in! You don’t say!

 

(Kicking noise)

 

Ow! My balls!

 

(Cheering in the background, probably SARGE)

 

[TEXAS]

Any more smartasses?

 

[SIMMONS]

…is he okay?

 

[TEXAS]

He’ll live.

 

[LOPEZ]

No me gusta esto. Probablemente todos estemos a punto de morir. [I don't like this. We're probably all about to die.]

 

[SARGE]

I agree, Lopez! We should never listen to a dirty BLUE! But…she did just kick Grif in the nuts, so…

 

[CHURCH]

So you’ll shut up?

 

[SARGE]

Yes, because this day must be savoured! Any day Grif experiences agony is a great day for the rest of the world!

 

[TUCKER]

The REDs have so many issues.

 

[SIMMONS]

Really, Mister ‘gave birth’?

 

[TUCKER]

Hey! Don’t bring family into this!

 

[DONUT]

Yeah Simmons, that’s not very nice.

 

[TEXAS]

Everyone shut up!

This is actually fucking important, you cockbites, so just shut up and listen.

 

(Silence)

 

Thank you. You all need to quit, right now.

 

(A load of confused yelling)

 

Look, it’s dangerous. I have a friend that’s been investigating this place, Church, you’ve met her.

 

[CHURCH]

Connecticut, right?

 

[TEXAS]

Yeah. And…look, I can’t explain it all, especially not here, but you’re all in danger. Contrary to popular belief, I actually don’t want you assholes to die. 

 

[CABOOSE]

We can all agree that a little bit of dying isn’t that bad for anyone.

 

[TUCKER]

Shut up, you team killing fuckt–

 

[LOPEZ]

DESMONETIZACIÓN! [DEMONETISATION!]

 

[TEXAS]

Look, you all need to quit right now. I can’t fucking believe I’m saying this, but I can’t let you get hurt.

 

(Lots of teasing ‘aww’s)

 

That being said, I won’t hesitate to kick ass…and nuts, if you don’t all shut the fuck up.

 

(Silence)

 

So, are you all gonna, or what?

 

[DONUT]

Well…I would, but–

 

[CABOOSE]

We have this thing…

 

[LOPEZ]

Ni siquiera me pagan, pero no me molesta irme. [I don't even get paid, but can't be bothered to leave.]

 

[CHURCH]

Yeah, we’re gonna go.

 

[CABOOSE]

Bye Tex!

 

(Footsteps, getting farther away)

 

[TEXAS]

(Sounding like she’s about to kill just about everyone, then kick their dead bodies, just for good measure) Anyone else?

 

[SARGE]

Yeah, I–uh…have a thing.

 

[GRIF]

Yeah, a shame, but we’re all busy. 

 

[SIMMONS]

Real busy.

 

[TUCKER]

It sucks, but duty call–

 

(Literally everyone but TEXAS yelling in pain)

(Gun clicks)

 

[SARGE]

Dagnabbit, my shotgun’s empty. So close. So. Close.

 

[GRIF]

Sarge! She was gonna use it to kill me!

 

[SARGE]

Oh, I know.

 

[SIMMONS]

Sarge!

 

(Energy sword ignites)

 

[TUCKER]

Alright, that’s it, come here.

 

(Even more sounds of the actual shit being beaten out of the others)

 

[Click]

Chapter 3: Aftermath

Chapter Text

[Click]

 

[TUCKER]

Tex! Wait!

 

[TEXAS]

(Still prepared to commit homicide) What do you want?

 

[TUCKER]

We know. About all of it.

 

[TEXAS]

Then why. The fuck. Didn’t you help.

 

[TUCKER]

Because we’re trying to get the Director locked up. He’s been targeting your group, he hurt Church, and we can’t let him get away with it. We can’t just run.

 

[TEXAS]

I’m–who knows about this?

 

[TUCKER]

Everyone but Church.

We’re trying to protect him.

 

[TEXAS]

You should’ve helped. I might’ve been able to get him to quit.

 

[TUCKER]

Just kidnap him. He’ll understand.

 

[TEXAS]

I doubt he will, but that does sound like fun.

 

[TUCKER]

Well, good luck, Tex.

 

[TEXAS]

…Yeah, you too.

 

[Click]

Chapter 4

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

[Click]

 

[TEXAS]

Church…

 

[CHURCH]

If you’re here to spew more crazy bullshit, I’m not interested.

 

[TEXAS]

I'm sorry.

 

[CHURCH]

Tex! What are you-

 

(Muffled yelling)

 

[TEXAS]

It’s for your own good.

 

[Click]

 

Notes:

Sooo, I'm actually kinda running out of pre-written fics, bc I'm taking a break from writing them, so it's gonna go back to weekly for a while, until I destroy this writer's block. Sorry about that :(

Question for today: Would you rather be a blood gulch sim trooper or top 10 freelancer?

For me, I'd actually go with the sim trooper. As much as I'd hate being used as a live training dummy, I'd much rather not have to deal with Wyoming, thanks (all joking aside, most of the freelancers died so nah, I'd rather be a blue)

Series this work belongs to: