Chapter Text
a hard knock followed by many softer ones against your apartment door pulls your attention away from the pages of your book. you might have been upset at the hour this visitor decided to stop by, late into the night long after the sun had set when only silver moonlight and golden flickers of flames are left to light your room, but if it was who you thought and wished it to be you could hardly find it in yourself to be angry. not when your heart longed to see him on his way home from the tavern and you wonder if somehow, in the tangle of your souls, he had heard your call for him.
the story you had been reading was once again hidden within the bound parchment as you lay it closed on your nightstand with the bookmark your knight had gifted you holding your place. sliding from the warm sheets of your bed and into the cooling evening air you don’t waste a moment hurrying to the door and can’t help but chuckle at his cute drunken pleas for you to let him in.
“snowdrop, have you gone off without me?” he pouts while you unlock the door, a hint of.. actual sadness in his tone that you hadn’t expected to hear and question if you had imagined it in the first place.
“my sleuthing knight says as if he wouldn’t have already known had i ‘gone off,’” you smile and tease, opening the door to your beloved bathed in moonlight and resting against the doorframe looking as beautiful as an archon; hand crafted by celestia itself and smelling of sweet wine but still you felt that melancholy in the air around him. even through his soft skin and deep azure eyes he couldn’t hide what he normally kept so tucked away from others, not from you. “and there is nowhere i am going without you my love.”
without thinking your hand reaches for him, the pads of your fingers brushing along the tanned and heated skin of his cheek, his uncovered eye softening under your touch. even intoxicated he’s quick to react, his hand grabbing yours and skilled fingers curling into your palm before using his strength to pull you close, your cheek resting against his exposed chest, his other arm wrapped around your middle to keep you pressed so tightly against him. the suddenness of it steals your breath and has you clinging to him for stability.
“you also said you wouldn’t keep me waiting but here i was all alone in the cold,” he whispers quietly; almost as if you weren’t meant to hear it, like he had wanted to say more or perhaps something he couldn’t quite voice. he squeezes you hard, letting go of your hand and resting it against his chest so he can pull you closer into him, not even letting the wind between you.
you can feel the hard thumping of a heart, can hear it in your ears but there was no telling if it belonged to you or him.
“kae..”
with his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck that familiar flirty tone returns to him but his grip on you doesn’t lessen even a little. “aren’t you going to invite me in, dove?”
even though it’s only for a few moments you hate to part from him and he seems just as reluctant to let you go but with a loving smile that has his chest skipping far too many beats, melting the worries that he draped around his heart like frozen rain, you lead him by the hand through the door, down the hall and into the place kaeya had found himself constantly wanting to be; the room that held your trinkets, your favorite books, the blanket thats fibers lingered with your familiar scent and reminded of him of home.
he doesn’t speak a word as he follows at your heels, nor as he sits on the edge of your bed and begins to take off his boots. you watch with soft eyes, taking in your every inch of handsome knight, thinking about how he looks and smells like the normal kaeya you saw everyday, the kaeya he showed most people but still you couldn’t help that feeling that tugged at your soul and told you something was wrong or how badly you ached to take away every bit of his worries, his uncertainties.
resting on your shins you take a place next to him and stop his movements with a light tug to his sleeve, your fingers barely holding onto the fabric but he was always so focused on you the lightest of touches from you would have been enough to have his full attention.
“is everything okay?” you ask, your tender eyes full of love, your tone unwavering even though you’re unsure if he will let you in and allow you to share his burdens. you know it wasn’t like him to speak out his weakness, though you wouldn’t call them that but it would never stop you from offering to help in any way you can.
“now, now, you don’t need to worry about me doll,” he avoids your question with a smile and a bat of thick dark lashes that might have worked as they intended had you not been so determined to remind him that he was not alone in this world and never would be again.
“that doesn’t answer my question, you know.”
he gazes into your eyes and you swear you see the unease within him vanish the longer he looks at you, the closer it becomes to nothing being between you as he closes the distance. chilled fingers half goved reach out for you and still without answering your question he guides you into his lap with a quiet ‘come here’, your legs straddling his, his arms around your waist. once again he buries his face into the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he hesitates to speak.
“.. everything is fine now,” he whispers and you can hear the truth behind his words, feel the way his body untenses under your touch. you feel his hands slide under your shirt to feel your bare skin against his hands and you lean into him to provide him with every bit of you. “can i.. just hold you for a while?”
“of course you can. you never need to ask,” you reply, your heart feeling as though it might burst right out of your chest at the shyness he hardly showed to anyone. you held him tighter then, the smell of his shampoo filling your senses, your nose tickling against his soft blue locks.
your chest immediately blossoms with heat when you feel the upward tug of your shirt and even though you aren’t entirely sure why he was undressing you when he asked such an innocent request, you easily follow his movements and lift your arms to let him take your oversized shirt off of you.
“what ar-”
before you can say anything more his face is pressed against your exposed chest, the intoxicated heat of his cheeks making you feel like you might be seconds away from melting but his cold fingers sinking into the soft flesh of your back keep you from slipping from his grasp, freezing you in this moment and his next words, muffled against your skin like a child trying to subtly ask for help even though it is desperately needed, bends you to his will.
“.. want to be closer to you..”
without asking or saying anything more, with loving and chaste touches, sweet kisses and fluttering eyes, you help each other out of your remaining clothes. your hands gently mapping out the scars on his skin as you unfasten the belts of his outfit, let your fingers slide against him when guiding off his shirt. his lips place the evidence of his love, his need, for you onto each place he uncovers, his skilled and calloused hands running over every dip and curve of your body until you’re both bare and your bodies are pressed impossible close under your duvet.
skin to skin. heart to heart. breaths as one.
his hands and lips never wander or ask for more than the feeling of your skin and they never once leave you. he doesn’t show any signs of wanting to share what weighed so heavily on him tonight but you didn’t need to know to give him every ounce of your deviation or truth of your feeling for him and you do just that, as you wanted to for the rest of your life.
each moment that passes, the night growing darker, he returned to his smiling, teasing, slightly tipsy self and it isn’t long before you’re sharing giggles, deep kisses filled with the taste of the wine he drank at the tavern tonight and reminders of your love for one another until your words become slow, your breath fanning against him becomes deep and you drift to sleep in his arms.
the peaceful rise and fall of your chest, the warmth of your skin against his without a single barrier between you. the way you hold him, the smile on your sleeping lips. all of it solidifies in his weary mind that it truly wasn’t a lie when he told you everything was okay and without warning your sleeping visage begins to pull him into a sweet dreamland of a future filled with your boundless love for one another, a love that tonight he so deeply felt he didn’t deserve and nearly convinced himself it was slipping right through his fingers until he saw you smile at him, heard you call him yours.
in a tired voice he whispers against the crown of your head and closes his eyes, letting the last of his anxieties go, “as long as you are by my side it will always be okay..”