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"Have you even thought about what you're going to say to your mother? I've got a feeling she'll be... very surprised to see you again."
"Dex, my mum is a slave, she... for all I know she could have been dead for years, so no, I haven't really thought about it. I... none of this is thought out, and if I did, I'd turn around because I'm too freaked out to think about what I was doing."
"You didn't even tell Obi-Wan you were leaving, did you?" Dex understood by deduction, running a hand over his face at the Jedi's grimace. "Ani..."
"I know!" The blond man let go immediately, his eyes fixed on the horizon in front of him. "I just... at first I didn't think it would go this far! I was so pissed off and frustrated and tired, I went outside but before I realised it I was in front of your restaurant and... and... I realised I really didn't want to go back."
"He must be completely panicked."
"Hng, I doubt that, he's such a good Jedi, you know? He never loses his temper."
"Even if he's level-headed, he's obviously worried about you."
"More worried about the trouble I might be causing."
"Anakin Skywalker! Do you hear yourself? Stop lying to yourself and talking this nonsense, Obi-Wan may not be able to admit to himself that he cares about you but I know better, and if you really think about it, you already know it too."
"Do you really think so?" The young man asked back, looking extremely doubtful. "You don't know him like I do, Dex, he's... he's not evil, of course, but he's... very focused on being a good Jedi. If he was really worried about me, then he's not exactly showing it well."
"Maybe he doesn't know how to talk to you."
"He's had several years to make progress," the Padawan pointed out, looking terribly tired when the anger and sadness were gone. "He's the adult, isn't he supposed to be the one making the most effort to understand me and adapt? I left everything to be a Jedi, and I'm trying really hard. Sometimes I just feel like he wants to crush and silence everything that makes me, well, me, to turn me into the perfect, silent, submissive, obedient Jedi that he thinks he is."
And obviously, as a former child slave, he would abhor the very idea if it was not well steered toward him.
"So it was an argument that started it all," he finally chooses to say to get back to the beginning of it all. "Now do you want to tell me about it or do you want me to ask Obi-Wan while I reassure him that you didn't get bumped off in a dark alley?"
"That's just stupid."
"I'm used to it with the two of you."
The little punch he received on the arm might as well have been a mosquito bite, since it was so weak, but Dex said nothing. Anakin had a certain image of himself, he felt he always had to be strong, he would not like to hear that.
After several minutes that made him think about whether or not to abandon his interrogation and try again later, Anakin spoke.
"I was demonstrating my lightsaber skills yesterday. I was fighting droids, two of them, and I was trying to repeat as best I could the movements of the Sith that Obi-Wan fought at Theed’s palace... Er, do you know anything about the Sith?"
"Absolutely not, what is it?"
"It's a... to cut a long story short, they're evil people, and they master the Force. Like the Jedi."
"They must be really dangerous then. Do they have lightsabers as well?"
"Yes, the only special thing about them is that they have red blades, ours can come in just about any colour, most are blue and green but the Temple Guards have yellow ones, I've seen a few purple ones and Master Koon has an orange one."
"What colour is yours again?"
"Blue, like Obi-Wan."
"Does the colour have a symbolic meaning?" Dex asked with interest.
Obi-Wan was always a bit secretive about these things, so Dex did not ask so as not to make him uncomfortable, but it was terribly tempting for his curiosity.
When you were at the heart of a network based on information, knowledge was power, it was an instinct at that point to find out, even when he was not going to do anything with the information.
"It shows a lot about our personality and the kind of connection we have with the Force," Anakin explained slowly. "It's... sorry, it's the first time I’m explaining this to a non-Jedi, so... lightsabers have an essential component, a special crystal that we fetch when we create our weapon. Amongst many crystals, we look for the one that will have a particular resonance with us. Sometimes, when we feel that it no longer resonates with us, we look for another one. Some people have more than one. It all depends on what you prioritise. For example, some people use violence more readily than others, others only use it if there's no other choice, and others just won't use it. It's a bit of a reflection of the personality and philosophy of its owner."
"Sounds exciting," the Besalisk commented quietly, having noticed the boy's enthusiasm as he became more comfortable introducing Jedi culture.
"Yeah, it's... it's really cool. There are different types of Jedi, not everyone's completely the same... well, ideally."
The end was mumbled, letting Dex know that it was time to change the subject.
"So you were trying to mimic the movements of some sort of evil Jedi?
"No! That's not... that's not the case," the other muttered, looking away.
Gods above and gods below, was it as difficult as all that to worm things out of all the teenagers, or was Anakin an exception? Luckily for Dex it was literally his second job to get information or he would never have the patience to insist. He carefully stretched his back and shoulders. This was going to be sport.
"So what was it?"
"Nothing."
"It's clearly not nothing, so why are you acting like this?"
"I said it was nothing! Why do you even care?! It's not like what I really wanted to do really mattered!"
Dex blinked slowly, surprised and confused by the explosion which even seemed to have surprised Anakin who looked straight ahead, swallowing very visibly.
"Why are you saying it doesn't matter? You know it does."
"Is that so?" The boy murmured in a small voice. "Because that's the feeling I get. I'm doing my best, you know? I've always done my best, everyone keeps telling me more or less explicitly that I'm a Chosen One called to do great things, that I'm powerful, loved by the Force, and yet all they do is criticise me. I was behind everyone else, I've worked hard to make up for my backwardness and my shortcomings and I'm really proud of myself for the level I've reached in such a short time, but they don't like me to have pride. They say it's arrogance, but I'm just... I mean, I am better than them. Factually. I swear!"
"I believe you, you certainly seem enough of a smart, attentive and resourceful kid to pull it off."
The surprise and vulnerability that flashed briefly on the small human's face made Dex frown. What the hell had happened? He could not be the first person to give him that kind of compliment, could he?
"Nobody's telling me that," the Jedi continued more calmly, his eyes never leaving Dex's, as if searching for something. "I'm not stupid, I hear enough lectures about the importance of humility and the dangers of arrogance, it's like they're trying to hit me with a sign that says it and... it just... it really hurts, you know? They don't care if it is a performance acquired through effort, time and hard work, they don't care that I'm a perfectionist and that I try to be the best I can be so that they can be proud of me, it's never good enough for them and yesterday was the last straw."
"Because they didn't like you using that style?"
"Not really, although yes, obviously they didn't like it. I mean, the Jedi teach and practice fencing in seven styles of movement called Forms. The one I learned from Obi-Wan's words is violent and typical of the Sith, something we haven't really learned for centuries, so I wanted to push myself and show them, impress them. We didn't even have time to get there, there were other Padawans and they laughed at me. They called me 'slave', and I just... it made my blood boil, I used the Force to lift their lightsabers and turn them on, threatening them with it, and... Well, I bet you can imagine what Obi-Wan or the Master of the Jedi Order thought of that. I apologised immediately, but Obi-Wan shouted at me anyway and he... he wasn't listening! What right did they have to laugh at me? I hadn't done anything to provoke them, they were just being cruel for the sake of being cruel, but I'm the only one who's been argued with and punished. I felt so humiliated... and I still do."
Keeping an eye out, Dex leaned in to pull the boy into a loose embrace. There was nothing worse than being forced to hug someone when you were absolutely not in the mood, so it was better to leave it like that, a proposition.
"Wow. I wasn't expecting that," he admitted, at a loss for words.
He had expected more from Obi-Wan, his Jedi friend had always given the impression of being responsible and capable, he had certainly been able to get back on his feet after several hard blows... but maybe deep down he never did. Maybe always having to abandon people he cared about had made him fragile, maybe he was too broken to healthily love someone who had as much love to give as he needed to receive and had such a big heart. Maybe Obi-Wan was too far into denial and his good Jedi masks to realise what he was doing, or maybe he just preferred to ignore it, preferring the comfort of habit to the dangers of the unknown.
It was still disappointing, because deep down Anakin was right. He had been failed perhaps at every opportunity, every day for years by the one he had implicitly hoped would be his new family. Obi-Wan was what, thirty today? No decent person would accuse a teenager of being responsible for the bad parenting of someone that age. Children just were not responsible for the mistakes of adults, even though they often found themselves the victims of them.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"You're not responsible," Anakin whispered. "And you don't have to hug me, I'm not a child anymore."
"Physical contact is a comfort to Besalisk at any age," he replied calmly, smiling as he felt Anakin cling to him in return.
He was definitely going to have to pay attention to this reunion and what happened next.