Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When I walk into the psychology classroom on the first day of school, I catch the teacher chatting with some other students about how some of our classmates will be from Onett High. He explains that with more and more people interested in PSI after the war on Gigyas, the people at Onett High wanted their students to have an opportunity to take an advanced psychology class. And given that their school is small enough not to have one, they decided to bus the kids over to Twoson High so they can participate in our program.

I barely hear the words. Classmates from Onett means that after five years of near radio silence between us, there’s a good chance I’ll see…

Before I can even finish the thought, Ness strides in through the open door. His striped t-shirt, blue shorts, and red baseball cap are near identical to what he wore on our adventure. But his body, now over six feet tall with his baby fat having solidified into muscle, reminds me how much the passage of time has widened the chasm between us. How we can never go back to our whimsical little adventure fighting UFOs and dinosaurs alike with common household objects. That was a child’s world that we can never return to.

Ness’s gaze falls on me first, and he offers a little wave accompanied by a warm smile. Like he doesn’t even see the ripped jeans, skull earrings, and blue streaks in my hair that mark me as someone for reputable boys to avoid. Like he doesn’t remember how I stopped replying to his calls, letters, and emails.

Like he really hasn’t changed at all.

“Hey,” Ness says to the teacher. “You must be Mr. Kelly. I know we’re supposed to wait until class starts to chat about this, but thanks for letting me and the others from Onett join your little party here. I’m ready to learn about how this slab of meat between my ears actually works.”

“Nice to meet you, Ness,” Mr. Kelly says. “Your bus made good time. The driver didn’t speed, did they?”

Ness scratches the back of his head, grin turning sheepish. “Ah, I was lazy and decided to teleport over. The others should be arriving-”

A phone call in the back of class cuts Ness off. Mr. Kelly heads over to answer it, his body stiffening after a few seconds with the phone to his ear.

“Repeat that,” he says. “The bus is being blocked by a Starman?”

All the chatter in the room dies in an instant. Most of the students here know at least one person who was in Onett when Giygas took control of the area near the end of our journey. I remember blinds closed, doors barred shut, and hearing stories later about frightened children and pets on edge. If this is a prank call, it’s in such poor taste that not even the edgiest troublemaker students will back them up on it.

“Where is this?” Ness says.

Mr. Kelly looks up at Ness and blinks. “What?”

“You heard me. Where’s the Starman?”

“Near the entrance to Twoson. But-”

“Thanks.” Ness turns my way. “Let’s go, Paula.”

I freeze. This isn’t supposed to be how it goes. I avoided Ness for nearly five years and never even gave him a reason. Why is he acting like I didn’t burn every last bridge between us?

Deep breaths, Paula. Your silly drama can wait until after these people are safe.

“Right.”

Even getting out that single word feels like trying to move a boulder with my breath. Ness offers a quick nod and darts out of the classroom. I run after to see him sprinting down the hall towards the front entrance. One of the teachers offers a halfhearted “hey!” which does nothing to slow him down. I remind myself that this is a crisis and shove down my anxiety at breaking the rules.

Looks like I still need Ness to hold my hand at everything, even getting into trouble.

I nearly slip as I try to match his pace, and by the time we’re out in the front courtyard I’m already gasping for air.

“Like running to first base,” Ness says. Turning to me, “I almost dropped and slid once I was close to the door. In case you weren’t already convinced that baseball is ruining my brain.”

Being winded is all that stops me from snapping at him to get a move on, and when I open my mouth he begins manifesting teleportation PSI. Wait, did he make that little comment so I could catch my breath?

“Teleport β.”

The world starts to spin as my legs move on their own, running in circles behind Ness. As the scenery blurs, I recall our adventure and remember Ness’s little remarks to lighten the mood whenever Poo was hard on himself for not keeping up with us or one of Jeff’s inventions fell apart. The compassion his jokes and shoulder pats provided were what kept us going during our hardest moments.

It was why, even as a kid who didn’t know what romance was supposed to feel like, I knew I loved him.

And that leadership is in him still.

#

When the world rematerializes around us, Ness is off before I can even get my bearings. I glance his way and see a bus turned on its side on the Twoson side of the road connecting it to Onett, and standing in front of it is a Starman.

A real, honest to god Starman. The last drop of security I didn’t even know I was holding onto evaporates in an instant. For the last five years, I was convinced that at least there was no more threat to Eagleland with Giygas gone. That no matter how uncomfortable it was to feel the eyes of the public judging me, at least it was a pain that couldn’t hurt anyone else.

And with my safety goes with hesitation. If the people in the bus are in danger, nothing else matters.

I dash after Ness as he hurls himself at the Starman. Ness tackles the alien to the ground, the creature’s body fluid yet arthritic as its tentacle-like arms tangle with him. The Starman fires off a beam that looked like it was aimed at the bus, but with Ness knocking it to the ground the laser fires off into the sky. A blast of psychic energy sends Ness flying off the Starman’s body, landing on the road several feet away.

“You.”

My hands go to my temples, and a full second passes before I register the pain. Like a headache, but like my brain is chafing against the skull keeping it in. The psychic energy of the telepathic thought is so fierce that I wonder if my mind is about to explode.

“You and he are children of the stars as well. Free yourself.”

A series of unhelpful questions fly through my mind. Is this how Starmen communicate? Why did the ones during our adventure never use this telepathy? What is it asking me to free myself from? I shake the questions out of my head and enter a meditative focus state that lets me use PSI. Starmen are enemies to be defeated rather than creatures to parley with, especially ones set on attacking civilians.

“Starstorm Ω.”

Sure enough, I see meteors of raw psychic energy falling from the sky. Not only directed at Ness, but at the bus as well. Typically I don’t have the time to react to an enemy’s PSI once they start manifesting it, but with the telepathic heads up my mind and lips are already in motion to respond.

“PSI Shield Ω.”

A glassy rainbow sheen covers Ness and the bus, and I can see it coating my outstretched hand as well. As the energy meteors approach, solid enough to send vibrations down my spine through the air but lighter than a feather, they steer away from us.

Right towards the Starman.

Several explosions go off, and when the dust clears nothing remains. I look around to make sure it hasn’t teleported to a new attack location, and then run over to the spot where it was standing. No remains left behind. Does that mean it managed to escape? Starmen aren’t supposed to use their teleportation to flee, but then again I’ve also never had one use telepathy to communicate. With Giygas gone, is it possible that the scattered remains of the Starman army are acting of their own accord?

And now that I think back on it, the Starstorm it used wasn’t aimed at me. Like it actually viewed me as something to converse with rather than attack.

Chatter from the direction of the bus interrupts my thoughts, and I glance over to see Ness helping people out of the emergency ceiling door. A few bumps and bruises, but it doesn’t look like anyone’s seriously injured.

But it isn’t the way he offers a hand to whoever’s exiting that keeps my gaze on him. He jokes with each one of them about making sure they have all their organs in the right place or how they can convince their parents that a near death experience should allow them more TV time and fewer chores to recover. And what starts out as a tense line of people walking out of a near tragedy ends with a group of classmates laughing together about their shared experience.

Along with the bus driver, the last one out is a kid I recognize as Picky Minch, Pokey’s younger brother. I… don’t want to think much about Pokey after his role in kidnapping me and how he fought alongside Gigyas in the Cave of the Past, but I do remember Ness saying that Picky is the nicer of the two.

“I can’t believe I got to see you beat that Starman in action,” Picky says, looking up at Ness in awe. “Is this what it was like on your adventures?”

“More or less.” Ness uses Lifeup PSI to heal a bruise on Picky’s arm. “But if you want to be impressed by one of us, it should be Paula. She reflected that Starstorm all on her own.”

That’s when their gazes all go over to me, and their excited chatter is replaced by awkward silence. It has to be a weird experience for them to be saved by someone who’s essentially a celebrity that ruined her image with the public. It doesn’t surprise me that Ness lives under a rock, but he can’t possibly have missed that development.

The silence is broken when some authorities arrive at the situation to take stock, and while the other kids chat with them Ness takes the opportunity to slink back over to me.

“Looks like we’re still a good team,” he says. “I distract them by charging in like a bull, and you do the actual work. Still golden after all these years.”

How do I respond to that? It was almost comforting to tell myself that by cutting Ness out of my life, I was leaving this behind. If I had known he wasn’t mad at me for ignoring him…

“And in a way,” he says, “This is lucky for me.”

“Lucky? When all of these people nearly got hurt?”

Ness wags a finger, his grin dispelling any illusion of real disapproval. “But they didn’t. And now I know that you still kick ass.”

The fact that I ever kicked ass in the first place is news to me. I remember being a fragile little flower he had to protect and resuscitate whenever I got knocked out. It’s not a great sign that even by the end of our adventure, I went down about as quickly as a literal teddy bear. An oversized teddy bear that was larger than me, but still.

“Jeff called me last night,” Ness says. “He didn’t want to bother you, but I thought we should pass it along. Tony went missing a few days ago, and apparently nobody has heard from Dr. Andonuts either. I don’t think the Starman showing up today was a coincidence.”

“That… makes sense.”

Ness nods, pushing past the hesitation in my voice. “Do you want to head up to Winters with me and investigate? If there are more Starmen running around, we could really use the firepower.”

Another adventure. It’s a possibility I yearned for on lonely nights, and one I never let myself linger on. Time and time again, I told myself that I can’t go back to being one of the chosen four, and that I don’t want to even if I could.

But now it’s real. And…

“Paula?” Ness frowns. “Are you all right?”

I force myself to take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” I say, “But I don’t think I can join you.”

Then for the first time since he walked into the doors of the psychology classroom, he does what I expect and frowns at me. Whatever illusion there was of us returning to what we had five years ago has vanished at last.

Chapter Text

“What’s going on?” Ness asks.

While the question is expected, the concern in his voice is not. While I work through what it means, Ness gathers himself. His gaze turns analytic as he regards my face, and I fidget with the end of my sleeve.

“Listen,” Ness says. “I know you well enough to say that you’re not the type of person to ignore a friend in trouble. Talk to me, Paula. What’s happening?”

“Oh, right. I only need to have a casual chat with the person I’ve been avoiding for years.”

After the words come out, I know they’re the wrong ones. And when I see the look of hurt in Ness’s eyes, I avert my gaze.

“That was on purpose?” he says. “I figured…” quiet, and then a sigh. “No, I guess I always suspected that you didn’t want to see me. But my point still stands. Tony and Dr. Andonuts are in danger, and I don’t believe for a second that you’d abandon them if you had any other choice.”

That’s it? I admit to trying to cut my best friend out of my life, and all he does is try to get us back on topic? I take a deep breath and shove down what part of this counterproductive guilt I can. Ness is right that our own interpersonal awkwardness is nothing compared to the lives of our friends. I owe him more than I can possibly give, but right now I can start with the truth.

“Apple Kid has also gone missing,” I say. “I promised his mouse friend I’d talk to them about it after school today. You should head over to Winters on your own and see if Jeff has any leads on Tony and Dr. Andonuts. We’ll be more efficient if we split up.”

Ness furrows his brow. “Tony, Dr. Andonuts, and now Apple Kid. Remember how they were all kidnapped by Starmen before?”

And with the Starmen back… I look into Ness’s eyes and see the conclusion he’s drawing. I linger on his gaze for a little too long before pulling myself away. In a way, his compassion is harder to handle than the anger I expected. But now isn’t the time to get lost in romantic dreams and self-pity.

“If you’re going after Apple Kid,” Ness says, “There could be more Starmen lurking around. And it turns out we still make a good team. I want to come with you.”

“Jeff needs you more than I do,” I say. “If it’s Starmen we’re worried about, I can handle them fine on my own with PSI shields. You’re right that we can’t wait to save Tony and Dr. Andonuts. That means we need to split up.”

The words roll off my tongue more smoothly than I expect, but Ness’s raised eyebrow tell me he isn’t convinced.

“You don’t think I can handle it?” I say.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for any one of us to be going out on our own,” he says, words measured. “And you did already admit that you’re trying to avoid me, so I’m worried you won’t ask for help even if you needed it.”

Awkward silence. I want to dig in my heels and argue that I’m only thinking about rescuing our friends, but I can’t make the words come out.

“Still,” Ness says, “You’re right that we shouldn’t waste time. I thought we could chill at school and take this step by step, but seeing a Starman on the street changes things. I can see how you think splitting up makes sense.”

Right. Regardless of the chasm between me and Ness, we can still think clearly enough to be strategic. If PSI taught us anything, it’s the ability to concentrate on a task. When all of my anxiety falls away, the crystalline focus will keep me from letting my silly emotions ruin everything. I refused to let Giygas and his Starmen hurt the people I care about, and I’ll stay true to that until my dying breath.

“But,” Ness says. “If you get into trouble, you call out to me telepathically like you did in the Happy Happy village. Can you promise me that?”

I grimace. Every time I used my telepathy before, it was when I was helpless and needed to be saved. At the Happy Happy village, in Threed when calling to Jeff, and even in the Cave of the Past when we were on our last legs against Giygas. I won’t let myself sink down to that ever again.

“Paula?”

“All right,” I say. “I promise.”

Ness’s shoulders relax, and the easy grin returns to his face.

“Then go out there and kick some Starman ass for me,” he says.

#

Despite everything, a part of me does worry about getting in trouble for skipping the rest of the school day. Funny how I cultivated my appearance to look like a troublemaker once I got criticism for no longer acting like a prim rose, but my heart still races when I so much as think about challenging authority.

I can’t even stop myself from casting nervous glances while I walk around town, but I make it to Apple Kid’s house without issue. When I knock on the door I hear the mouse tell me to come inside, and once I do I have to step around the pile of nuts and bolts piled up near the doorway to get through. I even helped Apple Kid clean up his house as thanks for his inventions saving the day more than once, but it looks like chaos is its natural state.

The mouse skitters back and forth, weaving around the clutter. And while I’m no expert on mouse behavior, it’s hard to interpret their hunched back as anything other than anxiety.

“Thank goodness, Paula,” the mouse says. “I don’t know who else I’d turn to. Please, you have to get Apple Kid back.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Let’s slow down and go over what happened.”

The mouse scurries up a chair before regarding me. “There’s not much to say. He said that he needed to free himself, and then he left and hasn’t come back. This was a couple days ago.”

Apple Kid being preoccupied for multiple days isn’t surprising, but the bit about freeing himself is almost verbatim what that Starman told me to do. And given that the other people who went missing were victims of Starman kidnapping, I can’t shove that concern aside in good conscience.

“Did you see where he went?” I ask.

The mouse nods. “Towards Peaceful Rest Valley.”

I frown. There’s nothing that way except the town that the Happy Happyists used to run. I haven’t heard anything in the news about their cult reforming, but I also should be keeping tabs on the situation. Mr. Carpainter was under Giygas’s influence, but it’s not like cults stopped existing once we defeated otherworldly evil.

Besides, I haven’t been back there since the adventure ended. Facing the town and people that captured me and forced me to call out for Ness could be what I need to prove that I don’t need to be saved any longer.

“Thanks,” I say. “I’ll check if anyone that way has seen him. Sit tight here, okay?”

The mouse clasps their paws together and thanks me. The reverence reminds me of how people saw me before and during our adventure. I was a pretty little angel to soothe their needs, but it turns out what people wanted was a symbol rather than a real person who makes her own decisions.

A part of me still wants to be that proper, high-class girl who was able to unite the hearts and minds of Eagleland with pretty words. And the other part of myself can only regard that past Paula as a weak little damsel who taught girls around Eagleland that their only hope was waiting for a hero to rescue them.

Damned either way, I guess. But working out what to do with my emotions can wait until after Apple Kid is safe.

#

Turns out that when it’s not infested with monsters, Peaceful Rest Valley actually lives up to its name. I still find myself tensing and watching for UFOs and exploding trees that incapacitated me multiple times on the way back to Twoson, but all that I see is the pristine background of glassy streams and stationary greenery.

By the time I roll into the village with the former Happy Happyists, I’m feeling better about myself. Sure, I didn’t have to do any fights, but a couple years ago I’m not sure if I could have faced down the backdrop of my old scars like this. In fact, I’m confident enough that I head straight over to Mr. Carpainter’s house and knock on the door. He opens it and lurches back in surprise when he sees me.

“Paula.” His voice is uneasy. “And all alone, too. I’m sorry for what happened between us during your adventure.”

My eye twitches at the part about being alone. Is it really so unthinkable that I’m capable of adventuring without Ness to hold my hand every step of the way?

“I’m not here to bring up something that happened five years ago,” I say. “No use holding grudges against everyone who was manipulated by Giygas.”

His posture relaxes. “Still, I bear some responsibility for that mess. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Have you seen a teenage boy about my age walking through the village? Brown hair, rosy cheeks, kind of spacey, on the short and stout side?” I pause. “Probably was asking for food.”

“Minus the food part, we did see someone matching that description. We asked what he was doing out here, but he ignored us and walked into the cave towards the east. We sent some people after him when we didn’t see him come out, but a Starman appeared and we had to pull back before it noticed us.”

Wait. That cave contains…

“Lilliput Steps,” I say.

Mr. Carpainter blinks. “Sorry, what was that?”

“One of the sanctuaries Ness and I visited to gather the Eight Melodies. Why is Apple Kid there?”

And a Starman as well. The fact that Giygas’s former minions are once again putting up defenses around the sanctuaries can’t be a good sign.

“Looks like I know where to go,” I say. “Thanks for the help.”

Mr. Carpainter inquires if there’s anything else he can do to help, but after I assure him that I’m fine on my own he lets me go. And I am fine on my own. Ness needed to heal me and shoulder physical attacks aimed my way during our adventure, but now the only enemy combatants we know about are Starmen. My PSI shield can keep me safe from them.

For once, this is a challenge I can face.

#

I head through the cave towards Lilliput Steps, getting lost more times than I care to admit. But on the bright side, I don’t see any hostile creatures. It’s almost disappointing that there aren’t any Starmen for me to fight, but I decide to count my blessings at not needing to expend psychic energy.

And right at the exit to the sanctuary, I see Apple Kid floating a foot above the ground, his legs crossed in a meditative position. His eyes are closed at first, and when they open purple wisps stream out of where his irises and pupils should be. The psionic energy floats up and up until it phases into the ceiling of the cave.

“Paula. I knew you were going to come. The others didn’t understand when I tried to tell them, but you’re different.”

I rub my temples. Same telepathy as the Starman that was attacking the bus. I don’t know what’s come over Apple Kid, but I can’t imagine freaking out will get him back to his old self. I should act like everything’s normal and give him the space to think through this himself.

“Your mouse friend is worried about you,” I say. “Let’s get out of this cave and we can talk about what happened to you once we’re home.”

“That’s it. They’re all… worried. Agonized by what they cannot control. I was the same way. Struggling for scraps, living in the shadow of Orange Kid. They all loved him, you know. And I was a dirty little rat mucking around in my pen.”

“Listen,” I say. “I get that. But-”

“I know you do, Paula. You understand the weight of the world being against you. Standing helpless as you play the role of a pawn in another’s game.”

I take a step back. Was that a lucky guess, or does Apple Kid’s newfound telepathy let him pilfer through my mind for insecurities?

“I’ve found a better way. Let me show you.”

Apple Kid’s feelings start bleeding into my mind. I feel a calm so sharp it’s like diving into frigid water, and my arm hairs stand on end in response. It’s the emotion of knowing that I could soar into the sky and never fall down. I could watch the world burn and not even understand why it should shake me. In this state, I’m…

The sensation ends as suddenly as it starts, and I gasp while sinking to my knees. After the dose of extreme calm, the anxiety in my stomach is like having a flashlight shone on my face right after I wake up and my eyes haven’t adjusted to sunlight.

How have I lived this way for so long? Being myself is unbearable.

“Tranquility.”

“What?” I manage to get out.

“That is what I am offering, Paula. Let go of all the desires and worries that drag you down. Become untethered.”

It’s disturbing how tempting the offer is. If I accept, I won’t even be capable of regretting it later.

“No,” I say. “Don’t get me wrong, I want anxiety to leave me alone. But that doesn’t mean I have to let go of everything.”

“And what exactly will you do instead? Go back to parents who nearly kicked you out of their house for getting a tattoo? Run crying to your boyfriend like you did the last time you were here?”

“Ness isn’t my…” I take a deep breath. “The Starmen did this to you, didn’t they? It’s obvious that this isn’t you.”

It is obvious, but at the same time I doubt that the insecurity he mentioned is an outright lie. In a way, it’s scarier how the Starman influence has twisted Apple Kid’s desires rather than overriding them entirely.

“Then you still require persuasion. So be it. Freeze α.”

Only when the cold burns against my skin do I process what’s happening. I’m entering a fight with no healer against a foe I don’t know how to knock sense into without injuring. If I don’t figure out what to do within mere seconds, I’m toast.

Chapter Text

I’m able to get my bearings and put up a PSI Shield α before Apple Kid’s next freeze attack. Since when was he able to attack with elemental PSI? But then again, the levitating and purple wisps streaming out of his eyes should have been a giveaway.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I say. “But I’ll knock some sense into you if I have to.”

“You can’t hurt me, Paula. Nobody can. Not anymore. This world is a marble in beautiful playground of the cosmos. Not even you can tear that down.”

So much for diplomacy. When we had to fight people influenced by Giygas, we were always able to pacify them without inflicting serious injury. That doesn’t guarantee it’s the same with Apple Kid now, but I don’t know if I can hold back.

“Freeze Ω.”

Ice crystallizes around him, and when Apple Kid breaks through I see cold burns all over his skin, raw and blistering. In fact, he barely looks conscious. I flinch, taking a step back. He’s going to need medical attention after this because of me, and I can’t afford to push any further. But he’s still as hostile as ever.

Apple Kid unleashes a thunder PSI attack, and the glossy rainbow sheen over my body fading confirms that he depleted my PSI shield. I put up another one, and the good news is that I’m in no danger of depleting my psychic energy anytime soon. I may not be able to go on the offensive without hurting Apple Kid, but there shouldn’t be anything he can do to-

That’s when he throws an apple at me.

I’m so surprised by it that I freeze, and only after pain knocks me to my ground and leaves my ears ringing do I process that the apple exploded. I scramble back to my feet to see him levitating with another pair of apple bombs in hand. During our adventure, Ness started a challenge of seeing who could dodge a bomb thrown at us. None of us managed the feat even once. I have no healing, and my defensive PSI only protects me from enemy PSI rather than physical attacks. I need to retreat before-

Apple Kid throws the two apple bombs and follows up with thunder PSI to break my shield once again. I stagger back, coughing from the smoke. Apple Kid levitates towards me, raising his hand to the sky.

“There is no need to fear, Paula. Once you accept your place among the children of the stars, you will never feel pain again. With your power, nobody will be able to make you feel worthless.”

The psychic energy streaming from his eyes intensifies, and I scramble to put a PSI shield back on. Only when I go through the motions and say the words, nothing happens. I repeat the phrase to no avail, hearing the desperation in my own voice.

Was Apple Kid able to break my concentration with his powers and stop me from using PSI? Or…

Or did I let it slip all on my own?

At this point, I have a single card left to play. I swore to myself that I was going to see this through myself, and even now a part of me wants to face my fate instead of crying out to be saved yet again. After all, what’s the point of being rescued over and over again if I can never learn to be better and accomplish anything on my own?

What shuts those thoughts down is remembering the concern on Ness’s face when I said I couldn’t join him in Winters. Even if I don’t have the strength to live for myself, I can’t fall here and leave him wracked with guilt for letting me go.

So I open my mind and call out to Ness.

When I reached out to him before during our adventures, the telepathy vibrated the words though my mind. I knew the message had been sent and received. Now, there’s nothing. I can’t heal myself, I don’t have the concentration to summon a PSI shield, and I can’t even call a knight in shining armor to save me.

It’s doomed.

“Starstorm Ω.”

Instead of raining down from above, the meteors of psychic energy coalesce behind Apple Kid and begin flying towards me. No way to outrun, no way to hide. I avert my gaze and wait for the pain to come.

When I do, I hear sprinting footsteps behind me.

I look over my shoulder to see Ness barreling towards me. Before I can shout a warning about the Starstorm, he throws himself in front of me and absorbs the impact of the meteors, arms braced and posture unyielding in the face of the full energy barrage. A grunt is the only indication that he felt pain at all.

“Lifeup Ω.”

After the words leave Ness’s mouth, the throbbing sensation vanishes and my ringing ears quiet. As his own bruises from the Starstorm fade, he takes a step towards Apple Kid.

Who promptly falls to the ground unconscious.

“Okay, that’s not fair,” I say. “All you need to do is run over and your presence makes him give up.”

“To me it looks more like he ran out of juice,” Ness says. He frowns, examining Apple Kid’s unconscious body. “I’m not sure that filling his body with psychic energy is a good idea after what we just saw, so I’m going to hold back on healing for now. Can you head back to the village and get some medics? I’ll wait here in case he looks bad enough that I need to give Lifeup a try.”

Or in case he wakes up and becomes a threat, which Ness doesn’t seem to think I can handle. And, well, there is direct proof of that. So I shove down my bitterness and nod.

If I have to mope like a little kid, I can at least spare Ness from seeing it.

#

I’m able to get some nurses from the village over to the cave, and they perform first aid and take Apple Kid back for further treatment. He comes as they’re carrying him out on a stretcher, devoid of the psychic influence that made him attack us. Ness tries asking him what he remembers, but he’s too out of it to answer. We decide to stick around for a bit in case he becomes dangerous again, so we sit on a bench outside the house where he's being treated and watch how it goes through a window.

“I didn’t get a chance to ask,” I say. “How did you find me? I tried calling out, but I could tell the telepathy didn’t work.”

“Oh, it was easy.” Ness’s resting smile breaks into a half-grin. “I followed you. Not directly, but the mouse and Carpainter were easy enough to chat with.”

I bite the inside of my lip so that I don’t say anything stupid. He never believed in me to handle the situation, and he was right to doubt my abilities.

“What about Tony and Dr. Andonuts?” I say.

“Well, I can play your game and act like I made the choice for practical reasons,” he says. “I could say that it was better to follow the clearest lead and update Jeff once we resolved situation. But the truth is that I was worried about you going off on your own.”

“Of course.”

I can’t keep the resentment out of my voice. Ness pauses, his smile dropping off his face as he regards me.

“Sorry,” I say. “That’s not fair, and I should be thanking you for saving me. And really, I do appreciate it. It’s just…”

I take a deep breath, and in the since that follows Ness motions for me to continue.

“I hate that I can’t do anything without you,” I say.

“What?” Ness furrows his brow, frowning. “We all need each other, Paula. Without any one of us on our adventure, everything falls apart.”

“It’s different,” I say. “You took down the Sharks and made your way to Giant’s Step all by yourself. Jeff and Poo had adventures of their own before joining us.”

“I think all Poo did was meditate on top of some cliff,” Ness says. “He came to us with no combat experience, remember?”

“That’s still more than what I did. Do you remember how I even needed you to walk me home after we defeated Giygas? I spent every second of my adventure with you watching over me, and I wanted to do something without your help just this once.”

“Well,” Ness says, “I remember me walking you home as you being nice and making an excuse to spend more time with a friend.” He pauses. “But I never realized you didn’t ever had the chance to be alone during our adventure. The last five years are making more sense now.”

I nod. “I didn’t want to be someone who ran crying back to you at the first sign of danger. I wanted to handle something on my own, even if it was only the public turning against me. And after a while, I felt too awkward to reach out to you again.”

“And I bet it was nice to get some time to yourself,” Ness says. “Thanks for putting up with me all that time during our adventure, Paula. I still cringe every few days when I think about how I tried to play leader as a 12-year-old with no life experience, and you were always sweet about letting me take charge.”

Ness is… also embarrassed about who he was as a preteen? I mean, I guess that’s a common experience, but given how little his personality has changed I figured he had a smooth and painless transition into adolescence.   

“I missed you a lot, actually,” I say. “When the news outlets were talking about how I went off the deep end because I dyed some streaks of my hair blue, I kept thinking about the way you could make us feel better about anything. Like when Jeff and I were grumpy after the Master Belch fight and you were eager to explain how good of a story fighting a barf monster was going to be. It was hard not having that.”

“Funny,” Ness says. “Whenever I thought about that comment, I figured that was the moment I killed the last small possibility of ever being cool and mature enough to impress you.”

I blink. Ness was… trying to impress me during our adventure? I glance over to see his expression turning melancholy.

“And I missed you too,” he says. “It’s funny how I can be surrounded by friends with Onett, and still feel like something’s lost. They could never capture what we had.”

Does Ness mean me and him or the four of us as a group? He doesn’t elaborate, and we sit in silence for several minutes. Eventually, we see Apple Kid talking with the nurses and leaving the house. Ness waves him over when he hesitates, which prompts him to approach us.

“The nurses said you saved me,” he says. “Thanks, Ness.”

“Thank Paula,” Ness says. “All I did was swoop in at the end to steal credit.”

“Telling him to thank me,” I say, “Is the opposite of stealing credit, Ness.”

Ness winks at me, cheesy but in an earnest way that makes me fight down a laugh. For this crystalline second, we’re old friends again.

“Right,” Apple Kid says. “Thank you too, Paula. I’ve been trying to remember what happened in case it’s helpful for you, and…”

He sucks in a breath of air, and then sighs.

“I don’t have much,” he says. “But I was able to hang onto two points. First is that everything was… calm. Like looking at a big blue lake that got wider and wider the longer I stared at it, and eventually that’s all there was.”

“Weird,” Ness says, frowning. “Giygas was supposed to bring out the worst in humanity. You know, entitled women on shopping sprees and corrupt cops. Not turn people into monks.”

That’s confirmation enough that the Starman and Apple Kid weren’t communicating with Ness telepathically like they were with me. Because while Apple Kid’s description is strange to Ness, I already know it far too well.

“And the second point?” I say.

“I had PSI.” A quick pause. “Which you already knew, obviously, but there’s more to it. I’ve had minor PSI developing for the last few months. You know, being able to bend a spoon with telekinesis kind of thing. My powers pulled me towards the cave where you found me. But now I can’t feel that call, and my telekinesis doesn’t work anymore. I think my powers are all gone.”

I exchange a glance with Ness. He’s mentioned before that PSI is supposed to show up in childhood. Apparently, he even saw a memory in Magicant of himself as a baby where he moved a milk bottle with telekinesis. And while we sought out the sanctuaries to collect the Eight Melodies, our PSI was never drawing us there.

“If you think you’re all back to normal,” Ness says, “I’ll try healing you. But let me know if you feel any of that old sensation returning, okay?”

Apple Kid nods, and Ness pats him on the shoulder with Lifeup PSI. After a few seconds, Apple Kid’s shoulders relax.

“Nothing,” he says. “I really am okay again.”

“Glad to hear it,” Ness says. “And you’ve been more helpful than you know.”

Apple Kid hesitates. “Really?”

“Some of our other friends have gone missing too,” Ness says. “Now we know that we need to check the sanctuaries and be ready for them to use PSI.”

He turns to me, his eyes asking the question I knew was coming. Will I join him in finding Tony and Dr. Andonuts? And while I don’t enjoy seeing Ness on edge, the vulnerability in his gaze does make me feel better. When he says that none of us should be going out on our own, it isn’t an excuse for him to doubt my skills. He’s scared of facing this on his own too.

Now that Apple Kid’s safe and I know that Ness doesn’t hate me, I’ve run out of the excuses I used to run away and feel sorry for myself. I take a deep breath. It’s for the best that my hand is forced and I can’t wallow in self-pity any longer.

“If Tony and Dr. Andonuts went missing from Winters,” I say, “That means we’re heading to Rainy Circle, right? Let’s go together.”

Even with the nervousness in his expression before, I’m surprised to see relief wash over his face now. That should silence the whispers in my mind that say he sees me as nothing more than a burden.

Chapter Text

Apple Kid assures us that he’s well enough to get back to Twoson on his own, and while I want to walk him back I’m also not sure if we can wait to head after Tony and Dr. Andonuts now that Starmen are involved. So we decide to let Apple Kid go, and Ness says he’ll teleport us back to Onett so he can stock up.

Onett. It’s been so long.

And when we appear there after Ness starts his teleportation PSI, it looks like nothing’s changed at all. Same big library, green fields, and Ness’s favorite burger joint. Well, I guess I don’t know if it’s his favorite anymore. I’m almost tempted to ask, but Ness takes off straight towards his house without dallying. Guess I’ll have to live with the oddness of not knowing my friend as well as I used to.

We walk up to Ness’s house, and after unlocking the door he strides in. The silence that fills the air feels wrong, and it takes me a second to put my finger on it.

No King.

I walk in after Ness and glance around, and sure enough there’s no sign of the dog. That’s when I remember how old King already was when I met him, and Ness even mentioned that King was older than him. Given that Ness is seventeen now and big dogs rarely make it past fifteen, King must be…

I gnaw on the inside of my lip. An irrational part of me is annoyed that Ness didn’t tell me, but of course he couldn’t have when I was the one who cut him out of my life. I thought that facing my life without Ness was making me strong, but now I can’t shake the feeling that I missed five years of my best friend’s life out of useless self-pity.

“Hey mom.”

I glance over to see Ness’s mom getting up from the couch where some soap opera I don’t recognize is playing on the TV. The expression she regards Ness with is loving but stern.

“I got a call saying that there was a Starman attack,” she says, “And that after you ran out of school to help with it, you disappeared and didn’t tell anyone where you were going.”

“Huh.” Ness scratches the back of his head. “I guess I didn’t.”

“I don’t expect you to swing by and let me know every time you need to visit somewhere from your adventure,” she says, “But at least tell someone where you’re going, okay sweetie?”

Ness’s mom pauses, turns off the TV, and then turns back to him.

“Even better,” she says, “You could let me get you a cell phone so you can call to let me know how you’re doing. Tracy says that’s what people your age are using to keep in touch with boyfriends and girlfriends, so you’ll want one before long anyways. They’re pretty nifty, you know. My BlackBerry even has a keyboard and lets me use email.”

“A lot of the places we go are off the grid anyways,” Ness says. “Sorry if I worried you, mom. Paula and I have to head over to Winters, so I’m going to get packed. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

Ness heads past his mom and leaps up the stairs an astonishing three at a time. Must be nice having long legs.

“Paula.”

The authority in her voice and face vanishes when she turns to me, her sweet smile taking me back to when Ness first introduced me to her. Even compared to Ness, she really hasn’t changed at all.

“It’s good to see you again,” she says. “I was worried something awkward happened between you and Ness when he stopped talking about you as often. But when you came up in conversation, his face still lights up every time.”

Given how warm he’s been to me, that shouldn’t surprise me. Every new piece of information I learn about Ness makes my decision to avoid him look even sillier.

“And I don’t think I ever said this,” she continues, “So I’ll do it now. Thank you for watching my son’s back out there, Paula. I know that if you weren’t there, there’s no chance he’d have made it through.”

I want to deny the claim, but then I remember how I was the one who was able to break through Giygas by praying and reaching people all around the world. I’m still conflicted about that moment after how the public turned against me, but I can at least be glad that it got me and my friends out alive.

“In my mind,” she says, “You saved my son’s life. If you ever need anything at all, please ask.”

Ness’s mom must know what happened to my public image, and even now in her proper red dress and yellow earrings she can look past my punk-lite outfit and treat me with kindness. How much support was out there in the world if I only put in the effort to look?

“And of course,” she says, “It makes me happy to see that you and Ness still get along. Did you know that a couple years after your adventure when I saw a bunch of girls chatting him up and trying to impress him, he told me after the fact that he was only interested in you?”

That’s the moment when Ness flies down the stairs with a full backpack and winter jackets in hand. The way he shoots a glance at his mom tells me he caught that last part.

“Got all of your embarrassing stories about me out of your system, mom?” he says.

“Embarrassing? I thought it was sweet. I just wanted to make sure Paula knew how you felt about her, since boys your age are… you know.”

“No, I don’t know,” Ness says, crossing his arms.

She waves a hand in dismissal. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to share that, sweetie. I won’t embarrass you further. I hope you and Paula have a nice trip to Winters.”

Ness grunts, and then turns to me with one of the winter coats outstretched.

“This is an old one of mine,” he says. “You okay wearing it?”

I nod and take it from him. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re not planning to stick to t-shirt and shorts in the snow like last time.”

Ness glances at his mom, and then back at me.

“I may or may not have gotten chewed out for that,” he says.

“Your father gave you thousands of dollars in spending money for that adventure,” his mom says. “You could have at least bought yourself a nice jacket.”

Now doesn’t sound like a great time to mention that I stuck to my dress as well. In our defense, we were never in Winters for that long.

“Call me if you need anything, sweetie,” his mom says. “And Tracy still can get you premium delivery on Escargo Express, so take advantage of that if you need to resupply on the road. Love you.”

“Yeah,” Ness says. “Love you too.”

After all these years, I had almost forgotten what the unconditional love of a parent is supposed to look like. When Ness walks out, I do my best to swallow my jealousy and head after him.

“I hope it wasn’t awkward that I left you alone with my mom,” Ness says.

“No, it was good to see her again.” I pause. “Did you really say that you only wanted to date me?”

Heat rises in his cheeks. “That was three years ago, and I said it to get her off my case. Don’t worry, I’m not dumb enough to start coming onto you after learning that you’ve been avoiding me for five years.”

I play the words in my head several times to make sure I’m not misinterpreting him. It’s clear he wants to drop the subject, but nowhere in there does he say that he’s no longer interested in me. What am I supposed to do with that?

The question lingers in my mind as we teleport off to Winters.

#

As soon as the cold wind hits me, I throw on the coat Ness gave me. Yeah, I have no idea how we withstood this in our usual clothes five years ago. Ness heads over to the boarding school, the gate closed as usual.

“Does Jeff even live here anymore?” I say.

“Yeah, they teach up though high school. He worked with Dr. Andonuts for a while but decided to head back to school to get a wider range of education.”

Now I feel silly for asking. Of course Ness and Jeff have been keeping each other updated on their lives after I cut both of them off.

“Now,” Ness says. “You okay heading in there on your own and grabbing Jeff?”

I blink. “Why alone? Why me?”

“I can do it if you want,” Ness says. “But I think one of us is going to help the other over the gate, and I feel bad about leaving you out in the cold.” A pause. “And using you as a stepping stool when I weigh 200 pounds.”

I’m about to protest when a shiver runs through my body. After rubbing my arms, I glance over to see that Ness looks unfazed by the cold. Yeah, if I stay out here too much longer I’m going to start having to use PSI Fire to warm myself up.

“All right,” I say. “Any idea what part of the building Jeff is in?”

Ness shakes his head. “I’m sure the students will know if you ask around.”

Right. A part of me still prefers the cold to the combination of social anxiety and fear of breaking rules, but I do owe Jeff after ignoring him for years. Besides, while the area’s supposed to be peaceful now Ness has a better chance at holding out solo against a monster attack than I do.

After I confirm that I’m ready, Ness gets on his hands and knees to give me a boost up to the top of the brick wall. I slide down on the other side and drop into the snow, which is already starting to soak my sneakers. Lovely.

Putting that aside, I head into the school and ask around for Jeff. Nobody’s seen him recently, but I get pointed to the classroom of a student teacher named Maxwell Labs who apparently works closely with him. I go into the room to see a college-age redhead guy in a lab coat standing over a lab bench with chemicals in flasks.

“Um,” I say. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, this assay isn’t time sensitive.” He turns around, pausing as he regards me through lab goggles. “You’re Paula, right? Jeff’s friend?”

Well, I’m glad that it sounds like Jeff still sees me as a friend. I nod, and his face lights up.

“My name’s Max,” he says. “I went here with Jeff, actually, and now I help out with teaching when I have time. You have no idea how hard it is to design labs so robust that not even grade school students can mess them up.”

“Um, nice to meet you. I’m looking for Jeff.”

“Right.” Max’s brow furrows. “Actually, he’s been gone since this morning.”

I blink. “What?”

“Yeah, didn’t leave a note or anything. I thought it was odd, especially since students aren’t supposed to leave school grounds, but I figured Jeff can take care of himself.”

“And Tony’s also missing.”

Max hesitates, and then nods. “The staff told the students here that he was visiting family, but obviously they weren’t fooling Jeff. Maybe Jeff went out looking for him?”

It is possible that Jeff didn’t realize the danger of venturing out alone, given that as of this morning none of us knew that Starmen were on the loose again. If Jeff encountered one of them…

“I have an idea of where Tony might be,” I say. “And if Jeff came to the same conclusion as we did, he’ll have went the same way. Ness and I will see if we can find him.”

Max’s shoulders relax. “Thanks. I can rest a little easier knowing that you’re on the case.” A pause. “Oh, how did you get into the building in the first place? The gate is supposed to be locked.”

I debate making up some excuse before sighing. “Ness helped me over the wall.”

“Sounds like great minds think alike, then.”

Huh. Is that an established thing people to do to get in and out of here? Seems like a bad idea when there’s no easy way to go the other direction.

Ah.

“I guess I do need help getting out, then,” I say.

“That’s why I asked. I’m staff now, so I can let you out with a key.”

“And it’s okay for you to do that?”

“I like your eye for lab safety. It’s true that I need to be careful leaving this assay here unattended, but don’t worry. I labelled all my flasks and I’ll lock the door to this room so students can’t mess with it.”

I was more worried about him getting into trouble with his superiors for aiding a trespasser, but I guess if he’s not concerned for himself I have no reason to fret on his behalf.

Max tosses his disposable gloves in the trash, takes off his lab coat and goggles, and leads me out into the front courtyard. Ness waves us hello, apparently also unconcerned with the potential trouble of me trespassing, and Max unlocks the door for us. Ness and I thank him, but it’s clear that he’s itching to get back to his lab so we don’t hold him up for any longer.

I update Ness on the situation, and he furrows his brow in thought.

“If he had gone out looking for Tony, he should have called me first to let me know what he was up to,” Ness says. “Plus, I bet he’d have asked Max for the gate key. Which we know he didn’t, considering that Max doesn’t know for sure where he went.”

Good points that I hadn’t considered. Where does that leave us?

“Still, I like your thinking,” he says. “Jeff’s a smart cookie. If we know that the sanctuaries are important, he’ll already be two steps ahead of us. I say we head to Rainy Circle and see if we can find him there. If there’s some explanation for his weird behavior, we won’t find it by waiting here.”

Right. We may be down an ally, but we should be fine to handle Starmen on our own. And as we set off town towards Lake Tess, it sinks in for the first time.

I’m on another adventure with Ness. All of the excitement, fear, friendship, and pain that I tried to escape from but felt empty without is coming back.

This time, I’ll prove myself.

Chapter Text

The good news is that during our trek down to Lake Tess, no monsters attack us. The bad news hits us once we arrive, looking out at the half-frozen lake on a shore devoid of the Tessie-watcher tents I remember from our journey.

“Doesn’t look like we can get Tessie to help us through this ice,” Ness says.

I glance up at him. “I don’t suppose you learned how to teleport to the lab in the last five years?”

“Hey.” Ness throws his hands up in surrender. “Poo couldn’t figure that one out either. It’s like the laws of the universe want to make our lives more annoying than necessary.”

Annoying is putting it mildly. With our path blocked, we have no way of making it to the Rainy Circle sanctuary. We don’t have any concrete proof that anyone we’re looking for is there, but it looks like we’ll have to abandon our best lead.

Unless. The way Ness is studying the ice tells me the same idea occurred to him. We both stand in silence for minutes, and eventually he’s the one to speak up.

“We could walk across the ice,” he says.

I let out a sigh. “All right.”

“Look, I really am sorry that I can’t teleport anywhere else in Winters. I’m sure you remember me complaining about it back during our adventure, and it bothers me as much now.”

“Honestly,” I say, looking out at where the water merges with the pale blue sky, “This is exciting.”

Ness’s eyes flit towards me. “Really?”

“Compared to news stations picking apart my appearance and telling all of Eagleland? This is real. I know what it means to win and lose. And…”

And I’m doing it with the person who’s been occupying my thoughts for the past five years. Someone I gave up ever being good enough for. Someone I cut out of my life without ever telling him why. Someone who still smiles at me after it all.

“Good.” Ness’s shoulders relax. “Let’s do this, then.”

Ness steps out onto the ice. I wince in anticipation at each step he takes on the thin ice, but it doesn’t break. I follow out after him, sliding and losing my balance as soon as I do. I fall forward, but instead of hitting the ice a strong arm scoops me up around my chest and sets me upright.

I come face to face with Ness, his hands steadying my shoulders.

“You all right?” he says.

“Um. Yeah.” I pause. “Thanks.”

“Why don’t you hold my hand? I went ice skating with Jeff and learned how to steady myself with telekinesis by pushing on the ice. Should work even with sneakers on.”

I can tell he’s trying to make me feel less awkward with that last bit. All these years and he’s still a pro at moving on from the embarrassing mishaps that come with adventuring.

“Right,” I say.

Ness grabs onto my hand, his grip strong enough that I barely even register the chill of his skin. He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze before leading me out on the ice. I continue slipping and falling, but Ness pulls me up each time before I hit the ground. Eventually I get tired of tripping over my own two feet and get close to Ness so he can hold my waist and keep me from teetering in the first place.

As I press myself closer into his side, I tell myself it’s because his large frame shields me from the frigid wind. I almost believe it.

We continue moving forward on the frozen lake, and before long we draw near the far shore. I was so worried about falling through the ice, but it looks like we’re almost in the-

“Why do you resist?”

I tense up, glancing around. “Do you hear that, Ness?”

“Why do you attach yourself to another? The ties that bind you to him are chains. Let go and transcend.”

All right, that’s the same telepathy I got from the Starman in Twoson and Apple Kid. This time when I look around I remember to glance up and see a Starman floating above us.

“Answer, Paula. Will you join us?”

I begin concentrating on a Freeze PSI to catch this thing off-guard and blast it.

“Your intentions are clear. Starstorm Ω.”

Shit. Time to change my approach.

“PSI Shield Ω.”

A protective sheen covers me and Ness, and only once the energy meteors start falling do I realize my mistake.

They’re not aimed at us.

Water erupts from the lake as meteors slam into the ground around us. I feel my feet leave the ground, and it takes me a second to realize that Ness has scooped me up and is running forward. Some of the meteors do draw near us and reflect back at the Starman, and it poofs out of existence as explosions sound overhead.

Looking down at the ice, I see cracks running through as the energy meteors upend more and more of the frozen sheet. Ness steps on one while running towards the shore, and I see the ice part.

Oh no.

Numbing cold hits my skin first, and then my lungs. As I blink my eyes open and struggle to see in the blurry water, I realize that I swallowed some of it. That decreases the time I have to mere seconds. I’ve never been a strong swimmer, but I at least know how to float. All I have to do is get to the top and-

My head hits against ice.

That’s when the panic sets in. If I can get back to the hole Ness and I fell in, I know I can get out. But with my eyes stinging from lakewater and my lungs screaming for air, all I can do is flail.

Looking up through the ice, I see a figure above.

Vibrations pulse through the water, familiar and comforting. Wait. I know this sensation. This is Ness’s PK Rockin. If I can feel it in my spine, that must means he used it on-

The ice shatters, and I surface. I cough and gasp for air, my lungs unable to take enough water in or expel enough out. An iron grip around my wrist pulls me up, and as I rise out of the water I see Ness standing on a tiny patch of ice surrounded by water and the shattered remains of the frozen sheet that his PK Rockin tore apart. He’s also soaked, but somehow his baseball cap and backpack are still on.

Ness looks up, and I follow his gaze to see the Starman floating back in the sky. How are we ever going to fight this thing if it can weave in and out of the battlefield as it wishes? It may look like a regular Starman, but this thing is shaping up to be more dangerous than entire legions of aliens we fought in Stonehenge.

“Time to go,” Ness says. “Teleport α.”

With what little breath I have, I let out a cry of alarm. Teleport α is going to send us rocketing forward, and all that’s around is frigid water.

But instead of falling back into the lake, Ness wraps an arm around me and jumps as we burst forward. The momentum allows us to clear the several yards of water in front of us, and we land back on solid ice. We continue accelerating towards the shore, the world around me becoming a blur.

And then as soon as we step on solid land, Ness steers us straight into a rock shelf. He twists so it’s the far side of his body that slams into the barrier, absorbing the blow and leaving me unscathed. Ness lets out a grunt and drops me.

Only then as I scramble to my feet do I realize that Ness ran into terrain on purpose to interrupt the teleport. The burst speed from teleport let us escape to dry land, but he hasn’t given up on making it to Rainy Circle.

“Into the cave,” Ness says. “If it follows, we’ll at least see it coming.”

Right. Ness runs up into a nearby cave entrance, and I follow. Ness waits at the entrance once inside, looking out for signs of the Starman. After I bolt in after him and a few seconds pass, his shoulders relax.

“I think it’s gone for now.”

I take the opportunity to look around, and I notice that the rocks inside the cave are organized in a neat path. Oh, this must be the maze Brick Road made that Jeff mentioned traversing before getting the Sky Runner to meet us. Good thing he reminded us to bring the Pencil Eraser so we could bypass it when we came here as a group.

“All right,” Ness says. “Clothes off.”

I blink, then look back at him. “What?”

“We’ll freeze unless we take off our wet clothes and warm up.” He pauses. “Or we could teleport out to Summers, but we’ll have to cross the lake again once we get back.”

And there’s every chance that Starman might attack us again if we do. I get where he’s coming from, but…

“Do we have to take all of our clothes off?” I say.

“Underwear can probably stay on.” He pauses. “We can leave if you want.”

That’s when my adrenaline wears off and the cold hits me in full. My teeth start chattering, and my fingers are trembling.  

“Yeah,” Ness says. “I shouldn’t force you through this. Let’s go somewhere warm and-”

“No. I’m not giving up now.”

I begin stripping down to my underwear, too cold to even be embarrassed. Ness does the same, and I use a steady stream of psychic energy to form a small fire so we can warm up. The good news is that creating warmth requires a lot less effort than setting scorching flames on enemies, so I barely notice the hit to my energy reserve.

Once we warm up, the situation sets in. I’m nearly naked, and so is Ness. We’re both sitting on a grimy cave floor, and our clothes are a sopping mess over in a corner. I don’t mean to stare at Ness, but with us huddling close to my mini-flame artificial heater there’s not much else in my field of vision.

And honestly, there’s not that much new. I could already see the strength in his arms and legs from when he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. But it’s different when I see how his limbs flow into the rest of his body. How the strength projected by his good posture permeates throughout his whole body.

He really is the spitting image of a hero.

“Bet I look weird without my cap, huh?” Ness says. “I’m terrified to look in a mirror.”

Okay, there is that too. Maybe that’s the bigger factor causing me to reassess how he looks. There’s just so much… hair on his head when it’s not being covered up by a baseball cap.

Ness does a better job than I do of not leering, but when his gaze falls on my upper arm I remember what’s there. I look down at my tattoo of ice, fire, and lightning symbols transposed over each other. It’s so high up that it’s basically on my shoulder, hidden whenever I wear so much as a t-shirt.

“You have thoughts on it?” I say.

Ness hesitates. “Looks cool.”

“That’s all?”

He shrugs. “I’m sure the tattoo artist did a great job but I’m also not going to lie and act like I have an eye for that sort of thing.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” I press a finger to the tattoo. “After I got it, my dad said you called him wanting to tell me how to make better life decisions.”

“Paula.” He frowns at me. “I’m your friend. I assumed it was obvious that I told him whatever was going to get him to hand you the phone.”

I blink. It should have been obvious. Of course Ness isn’t scandalized that I got a nice little symbol of my PSI inked out on my skin. So why did I never stop to question what was going on when my father told me that?

“Is that why you avoided me for five years?” Ness says. “You thought I was going to chew you out for living your own life?”

And now the guilt of being so stupid is a burning sensation in my stomach.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I should have trusted you. I don’t even know why I didn’t.”

Ness’s expression softens.

“I hated the way they treated you on TV,” he says. “News stations and talk shows filling time by ranting about how getting a tattoo makes you a bad influence on kids or some other bullshit.”

Silence follows. Ness sighs, and then shakes his head.

“So much about this world makes me angry. Every week I think about that scandal a few years ago where Onett’s mayor Pirkle took advantage of his aide. How the news made it out as an ‘affair’ and broadcasted to the whole damn country how this young woman is a slut instead of focusing on the way Pirkle abused his power over someone vulnerable.”

I stay quiet. That story lives in my mind as well.

“Then there’s the incident where someone leaked Venus’s nudes on the internet, and for some reason she’s the one who comes under fire from it.” Ness clenches his jaw. “And in both cases, it wasn’t only the media hounding them. I’m sure you heard about this too.”

I frown. Another detail about those stories did stick with me.

“I remember,” I say, “That even their closest friends turned on them. Other young women who could have been targeted and hurt in the same way, but decided that it had to be the victim’s fault even when it was their friend under fire.”

Ness nods. “So I don’t blame you for hiding from me when I could have done the same. That’s the world we live in.”

Is… that why I ran away?

“And,” Ness says. “It’s not like I can judge anyone else for not wanting their friends to see them at their lowest moments.”

His expression turns dark and his gaze goes to the ground. What does he mean by that? I give up racking my brains when I realize he could be referring to any event in his life that I missed in the last five years.

“But,” Ness says, looking up at me. “I hope you know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I’ll fight for you. No questions asked, no strings attached.”

The weight in his words are so staggering that I fumble through processing the implications. All I manage in reply is a numb nod.

“Now,” he says, grin returning to his face. “How about we use some of that heat you can conjure to dry our clothes so we can get out of this cave and save our friends?”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. Compared to working through my own emotions, conjuring miracles with my mind alone is downright trivial.

“Sounds like a plan,” I say.

Chapter Text

As I dry our clothes with Fire PSI while Ness levitates them with telekinesis after wringing them out, I realize that the events on the lake were what I feared the most after seeing Ness again. He was the one holding me up—as in literally holding and carrying me—every step of the way.

And it wasn’t so bad. Nothing like mortal danger to make all of my silly insecurities melt away. Sure, all I did was keep us from being ravaged by a Starstorm, but that’s something Ness couldn’t have done on his own. We do make a good team.

Before long, our clothes are still damp and cold but wearable without giving us hypothermia. I’m itching to no longer be nearly naked in this grimy cave, so I barely even mind the chill of getting my shirt and pants back on. Our jackets barely seem any drier, so we tie them around our waists and resolve to generate our own heat by moving quickly.

We head out of the puzzle dungeon and back into the open air of Winters, keeping a jogging pace. It’s a short jaunt until we get to the cave leading to the Rainy Circle, and once again there are no monsters to slow our progress.

When we draw near the sanctuary, Ness slows us down. He heads up the series of climbing ropes first, and I follow behind. The extra weight I pack from growing makes the climb harder than I remember, though Ness doesn’t seem to struggle at all despite having a good seventy pounds on me. I remind myself it’s not a competition.

Ness reaches the top, and I see him tense.

“What you got there, Tony?”

So Tony is here. I pull myself up after Ness to see not only a levitating Tony by the sanctuary’s entrance, but an unconscious Jeff as well.

“Why are you here, Paula?”

“We’re going to get you back, Tony.”

Tony’s eyes flash open, the same purple wisps streaming out that I saw from Apple Kid. He stretches a hand out towards Jeff, and I stiffen in unison with Ness.

“This is what you are missing. Let go of all that binds you to this world, Paula, and join us up in the stars. It’s beautiful, being able to hurt someone I love without feeling anything.”

“Ness,” I say. “He’s serious about hurting Jeff. We need to-”

“Flash α.”

Blinding light fills the dark cave for an instant. As usual, I don’t get hit with the brunt of it and I’m fine save for a few spots in my vision, while Tony’s hands go to his eyes. Ness lunges forward, grabbing Tony out of the air and throwing him to the ground.

“Starstorm Ω.”

That trick again. As before, his thoughts leaking into mine give me the time to put up a PSI shield Σ that protects all of us without reflecting the PSI back at Tony. That includes covering Jeff, whom the Starstorm is also aimed at.

“Come on, Tony,” Ness says. “This is Jeff you’re attacking. I know you don’t want to do this.”

In response, Tony only gets up and begins levitating again. Ness grunts and darts over to Jeff, using Healing γ in an attempt to resuscitate him. Once, twice, three times, and Jeff is still on the ground. I know that the power isn’t perfect at getting downed people back on their feet, but three misses in a row is terrible luck. Unless…

“I think he’s out for the fight,” I say. “Let’s focus on Tony.”

Ness grunts in affirmation, and when we turn back Tony has pulled out some of Jeff’s bottle rockets. He fires them off, and only after I dart away do I realize where they’re aimed.

At Jeff once again.

The bottle rockets slam into Jeff, and Ness kneels next to him to pump Lifeup PSI into his body. Becoming more resilient over the course of our adventure also means that we don’t drop instantly from fatal attacks, so Ness can heal him from even the largest hits. But the reverse is also true. The healing doesn’t take effect immediately, so a repeated barrage of bottle rockets like what Tony’s unleashing can overwhelm Jeff regardless of how much power Ness has for Lifeup PSI.

“We need to go on the offensive,” Ness says.

And by we he means me, given that he’s occupied with healing Jeff. I want to slow Tony down rather than inflicting real harm, but I don’t have access to Ness’s support PSI repertoire. I fire off a couple of weak PSI Freezes to see if I can solidify him, which only makes him look worse for wear and doesn’t slow down his bottle rocket barrage at all.

“We were able to wait out Apple Kid,” I say. “Could we do the same here?”

Ness grimaces as another bottle rocket hits Jeff. “He’s not looking good, Paula.”

But there has to be a way. And now that I think about it, there’s something nagging at me about how we pacified Apple Kid. Did he really lose the psychic powers possessing him after a certain amount of time in battle? Wouldn’t make more sense if…

If he returned to normal after using up all of his PSI energy.

I take a deep breath and take a step towards Tony as he prepares to set off another bottle rocket. It’s a good thing that Ness brought me along instead of listening to me and searching for Jeff on his own. Because the secret to turning Tony back to normal is something that between the two of us, only I can force.

“PSI Magnet.”

I extend my hand, drawing in his PSI energy, and the effect is instant. Tony falls to the ground and starts hugging his arms. The wisps coming from his eyes begin the flicker.

“Please, not my serenity. I can’t go back to being myself. Don’t you understand, Paula?”

In a way, I do. And I know that whatever Tony became is a far worse fate than the most ravaging self-hatred. I continue drawing energy from him, and after a few seconds the light from his eyes fades entirely. Tony slumps over and falls on the ground.

When I glance back at Ness, I see Jeff’s eyes flicker open.

“Ness?” his voice is slurred. “Did you… save me?”

“It was a team effort,” Ness says. “Make sure to thank Paula for getting Tony back to normal.”

“Paula.” Jeff stands, wobbly, and Ness has to steady him. “Tony. What… happened?”

Ness launches into a quick explanation, and to Jeff’s credit he seems fully lucid after listening to Ness for a couple of minutes.

“He appeared in the school courtyard at night,” Jeff says. “I thought I could reach out for him, since… you know. Thanks for fixing my mistake.”

“Anything for an old friend.” Ness turns to me. “Right, Paula?”

“Of course,” I say. “We should be able to get Tony up as well now that he doesn’t have any PSI energy left in him.”

Jeff nods. “That’s what my observations led me to believe as well. With their PSI drained, the thralls should be back to their normal selves.”

I exchange a glance with Ness. It looks like Jeff has a head start on understanding this phenomenon, and we should compare notes once we make sure everyone’s okay. Ness heads over to Tony and uses Healing PSI, who perks up and looks fully alert within seconds.

“Jeff?” Tony glances around until his eyes meet Jeff’s. “Thank god you’re okay. I…”

Tony runs over and throws Jeff into a hug. Then he starts running a hand through Jeff’s hair and kissing him. The motions are smooth and natural enough to tell me that this isn’t close to the first time they’ve kissed.

“I remember bits and pieces,” Tony says. “I’m so sorry, Jeff. I can’t believe I…”

“It’s not your fault,” Jeff says. “You weren’t in control. And I think you might be embarrassing us.”

That’s when I realize I’m tense and staring at the two of them. Of course Jeff’s my friend and I don’t judge him for being close with another guy, but I’ve never seen two boys kissing each other before. I don’t want to say anything offensive, but I also know that staring and looking uncomfortable doesn’t give off the best impression either.

“Isn’t it funny,” Ness says, glancing my way, “That even though we all returned to our lands as heroes, only Jeff was able to get a date? The two of us and Poo need to ask for tips.”

Jeff rolls his eyes at Ness. “You say that like you’re not turning down multiple girls a week.”

“Actually, nobody’s shown any interest in me in about a year.”

“Because you already said no to every girl your age in Onett,” Jeff says. “You’re about to get a lot more eyelashes batted your way now that you spend part of your school day in Twoson.”

And just like that, Ness turned the conversation away from my own awkwardness around Jeff’s romance life. Ness continues to downplay his popularity, which gets a laugh out of Tony.

“Let’s head back to school before we waste more hours of our life arguing in this cave, all right?” Tony says.

The rest of us agree, and only then does the fatigue start to sink in. It’s been a long day, and getting back into a warm building sounds like a dream come true right now.

#

Ness is able to teleport us back to the boarding school without issue, and he even gets Max to allow me and him to stick around even though we’re not supposed to be on school grounds without prior approval. And once we head over to an unused study room, Ness jumps straight into business.

“Jeff, were you able to figure out where your father ended up?”

“Damn,” Tony says, following the word up with a whistle. “You really don’t ever get tired, do you? Everyone else looks exhausted.”

“If Dr. Andonuts is in danger,” Ness says, “Then we can’t afford to twiddle our thumbs.”

“I agree with Tony, actually,” Jeff said. “I’m not in much of a state to fight, and you two also look beat. The PSI progression takes months, so I can’t see drastic shifts over the course of a night. Unless…” he shakes his head. “Never mind. We can talk about the details tomorrow when we’re at full strength.”

Ness leans back in his chair, frowning. “If you’re sure.”

“I am,” Jeff says. “But if you’re worried, I’ll say that I do know where we can head out to find my father tomorrow morning. Before disappearing, he was last seen in Saturn Valley.”

Which means that he should be in the sanctuary closest to there, which is…

“Milky Well,” I say.

Ness groans. “Are we going to fight more of those mushrooms? If one of them infects me again, I’m going to use Hypnosis on myself and make you two go on without me.”

“Go ahead,” Jeff says. “The mushroom will make you do the opposite, so you’ll actually use Hypnosis on the enemies and help us out.”

Only at the end of the sentence does Jeff crack a ghost of a smile. I remember Jeff being confident, but he was always lost in the world of his inventions. The way he’s tuned into the conversation now makes his presence steady and calming rather than fickle.

“So how do we get together tomorrow?” I say.

“We could sleep over at my house like old times,” Ness says. “I do want Jeff to catch us up about what he’s learned.”

“I can do that,” Jeff says. “I may not be up for a fight, but I like the sound of my own voice enough that I should be able to stay awake while I talk about what’s going on.”

Ness gives his shoulder an affectionate shake. “You’re going to make a great professor one day, Jeff.” Turning to Tony, “You okay if I steal your boyfriend for a bit? I know Jeff and I are technically exes, but I promise I’m not trying to sabotage your relationship.”

“Wait,” I say. “Back up. You and Jeff are what?”

Jeff sighs, rubbing his temples. “We had a hard time adjusting to normal life and tried a long-distance relationship. Didn’t even last a month.”

Ness is… interested in guys? Once again, I don’t want to judge but my brain also doesn’t know what to make of that information.

“Well, I can’t blame anyone with a pulse for being interested in Jeff,” Tony says. “And I’m not so bad of a boyfriend that I’ll try to stop him from rescuing his father because another cute guy is there.”

“Aw, no need to flatter me,” Ness says, grinning. “But while we’re at it, you’re not so hard on the eyes yourself.”

“I’m starting to wonder if bringing you two into the same room was a mistake,” Jeff says. Turning to me, “You okay camping out at Ness’s place, Paula?”

“You think your mom will be okay with you bringing a girl over?” I ask Ness.

“If it’s you, then yeah. What about your parents?”

…Good question.

“They barely give me the time of day anyways. Getting on the same page so we have the best chance at rescuing Dr. Andonuts is more important than my parents raising a stink.”

Jeff raises an eyebrow at that, but Ness offers a quick nod and moves the conversation along so that we don’t linger on the point. He’s familiar enough with them to know that their actions don’t have much of a rhyme or reason to begin with, so there’s no point in trying to appease them.

Still, staying at Ness’s house again after five years is going to be a strange experience. Odd that I’m more nervous about that than risking my life to save Dr. Andonuts.  

Chapter Text

Resting proves to be an even better decision than I realize once we teleport to Onett and I can barely make the quarter-mile walk back to Ness’s house. His mom lights up when she sees the three of us, and pulls Ness into a hug in the doorway.

“You look like you could use a steak dinner,” she says. “You’re lucky the store had some when I went out after you left. Good thing you’re back tonight so we don’t have to freeze it.”

She releases Ness, studying the still-damp jacket and grime on his face.

“You’ll have to tell me what happened in Winters later,” she says. “I’m proud of you for being so strong and thoughtful, but you do need to take care of yourself when you’re on the road, okay sweetie?”

“Mom, I swear you’re fretting over me more now than during our adventure.”

“I’m always going to worry about you. It’s what mothers do.” She looks past Ness and beams at us. “And it’s been so long, Jeff. I’ll stop talking your ears off and let you rest. You all look exhausted.”

“Is it okay if they stay the night?” Ness says. “We have planning to do for tomorrow.”

“Of course, sweetie. Just remember the talk your father and I gave you when you turned thirteen about-”

His cheeks redden. “Paula and I aren’t like that, and we’re definitely not going to try anything when Jeff’s right there in the same room as us.”

“All right, all right. Just making sure.”

Ness’ mom heads into the kitchen and starts the steak, and Jeff shoots a smirk at Ness.

“That was some mental image you forced onto us,” Jeff says. “Me just sitting there while you and Paula-”

“We’re not talking about this unless you want me interrogating you about your love life with Tony.”

“Go ahead.” A mischievous twinkle appears in Jeff’s eye. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

Ness shakes his head, grumbles, and walks into the house. When Jeff and I follow him in and get situated, Ness wastes no time pulling out extra towels and offering for us to shower. Jeff and I go first while Ness catches up with Tracy, and we hang out in his room when he goes next. The room has a few new baseball posters and figurines, but other than that it’s exactly as I remember it.

“Since we can’t chat strategy until Ness is out,” I say, turning to Jeff, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure. I wasn’t kidding with Ness about being an open book.”

“Um, it is a little related to that. Were you and Ness… really dating?”

“Depends if you consider long-distance dating real or not, and if you consider a relationship consisting of exactly twenty days real.”

“So he’s also…”

Jeff motions for me to finish.

“He’s gay?” I ask.

“Nope.”

I blink. “But you said…”

“He’s bi. Honestly, I’m a little surprised he shared that given how as of yesterday he hadn’t spoke to you in five years. Guess he still trusts you that much.”

Him talking about his stint with Jeff means he trusts me? I frown.

“Think about it,” Jeff says. “Sure, there are some people who are openly queer, but the large majority of people don’t want us to exist. At least not without hiding who we are in  public. Have you looked up polls on whether people support gay marriage? It’s not a lot.”

Jeff looks out the window, and then back at me.

“So imagine that the hero of Onett who led the charge against Giygas and drew the awe of little kids around the world is revealed to be interested in boys. In a world where homosexuality was in the manual of mental disorders right next to pedophilia not too long ago, how do you think parents will react to that?”

“They’ll make sure he can never exist in public again,” I say. “They’ll chase him away to the ends of the earth if they have to.”

I clasp my hands together. I can see him being surrounded by adults who are watching and salivating at the chance to drag out every little detail of his life and beat it to death for their own satisfaction. I won’t let that happen to him too, no matter what it takes.

“And right this second,” Jeff says. “You could run out right now and give some second-rate talk show a juicy story.”

I flinch. “You think I’d do that to Ness?”

“I don’t. And he doesn’t even consider it as a possibility. Like I said, he trusts you.”

Well, that does put things into perspective.

“Right,” I say. “Thanks for making me realize that. How should I support him? I’m not used to…”

“Yeah, queerness isn’t exactly mainstream. Ness says he thinks it will get better by as early as the 2010s and 2020s, but I’m not holding my breath. Treat him like you always have, and know that letting you in about his sexuality is a big gesture. He hasn’t even told his family yet, so don’t mention it around them.”

I blink. I’m not sure what I did to earn a level of trust he doesn’t even have with his loving mother.

“And actually,” Jeff says, “If you really want to make his day you could confess your feelings to him.”

I jerk my head towards him. “What?”

Jeff shrugs. “It’s not really any of my business, but it’s obvious that you two like each other. I’m about as dense as a cinderblock so I was there with Tony too, and once we both got it out we felt silly for not talking about it sooner. I’ll leave it at that, and I won’t bug you about it again.”

I bite my lip. Jeff’s right about almost everything, but now’s a bad time to be messing around with romance. Our top priority should be saving people under alien influence, not getting all gushy with our emotions.

But then again, it was our first adventure that drew us together, and it was our bonds that held us firm against Giygas. It seems silly to act like the fate of the world relies on a seventeen-year-old girl making a love confession, but it’s also not like that’s a stranger idea than facing down aliens and the incarnation of evil again.

Ness’s mom calls us down for dinner, interrupting my thoughts. Ness gets out of the shower in time to join us, and my stomach growls when Ness’s mom sets down a plate with a huge slab of steak in front of me. Ness digs in and scarfs down his food at an almost uncomfortable speed, to the point that his mom even reminds him to chew before swallowing. Still, it makes me feel better about how ravenously I dig into the meal.

“So,” Tracy says, looking around. “Poo didn’t get the invite or what?”

“After being told that teleporting in willy-nilly could start a diplomatic crisis about border customs,” Ness says, “I decided to leave the Dalaam palace phone a voicemail this time. I’m hoping he gets back to us soon.”

“Well, sounds like you know what you’re doing,” Tracy says. “Another adventure means more steak dinners for me when you swing by, so keep up the good work, big bro. And don’t die out there.”

“That’s the plan.”

The rest of dinner is pleasantly uneventful, and after we clean up the three of us head back into Ness’s room to plan out tomorrow.

“All right,” Ness says, turning to Jeff. “What has that big brain of yours cooked up?”

“Tony tells me that I focus on technical details and nobody can understand what I talk about,” Jeff says, “So I decided to condense my findings into three main points that are the most relevant for our mission. First, it looks like you already figured out that PSI Magnet is a good tool against the thralls.”

Which is yet another reason that I hope Poo gets back to Ness soon. Given how close our scrapes have been so far, we could really use someone who can both heal and use PSI Magnet.

“And in testing with Poo,” Jeff says, “I was able to uncover some interesting findings. People who gained new PSI recently like Tony are especially susceptible to it. I think it’s because most creatures will naturally resist PSI Magnet and keep it from draining all of their energy, but the overflowing power I saw in Tony meant that he couldn’t do that. Incidentally, that power kept coming back when it wasn’t fully depleted, so we’ll need to drain our targets in a single fight.”

All right. So going forward, PSI Magnet will be even more useful than it has been. I’ll take any piece of good news I can get at this point.

“I was curious if PSI Magnet creates an actual magnetic field for PSI,” Jeff continues. “And with Tony, I found that it behaves as an electrostatic field instead.” He pauses. “Or a gravitational one, if you prefer. At least, according to Newton’s Theory of Gravity, which I know isn’t fully accurate.”

“Well, that makes our math easier,” Ness says. After a second, his eyes widen. “Wait, if the strength of this uncapped PSI Magnet is proportional to the square distance from the target, you’re saying…”

“Exactly,” Jeff says.

I look between them. “That sounded like gibberish.”

“Sorry,” Ness says. “The gist is that against someone possessed, closing the distance to them by half makes your PSI Magnet four times stronger. Get three quarters of the way there and it’s sixteen times stronger. You see what this means?”

“If I get close enough,” I say, “I can drain all their power almost instantly?”

Jeff nods. “All that power flooding into you at once could be dangerous, so watch how you feel. But that’s our key for dealing with thralls without having to stall out their Starstorm PSI.”

“Great.” I glance over to Ness. “And where did you learn about this stuff? Jeff giving you private lessons?”

Ness balks in mock offense. “This is standard high school physics, Paula.”

“Well, it’s advanced high school physics,” Jeff says. “But yes, quite possible for a grade student to grasp. Onto point two. The sanctuaries are a source of incredible psionic power, and the thralls seem to be channeling them towards something. That’s part of why I wanted us to rest now. We can’t go around to all the sanctuaries in a day, and the threat doesn’t stop until we make sure all of them are safe.”

Okay, so we’re in for more of an adventure than I was expecting. But doesn’t that mean…

“We know about Dr. Andonuts going missing,” I say. “Who’s guarding the other sanctuaries?”

“That gets onto point three. I’m not sure if all of them are being manned by thralls right this second, but my father isn’t the only person with a connection to the Starmen who disappeared recently. Did you know that we’re not the first people to deal with Starmen and Giygas?”

I exchange a glance with Ness. This is the first I’ve heard of it, and it looks like he’s as surprised by this as I am.

“Well, I’m not sure whether it was Giygas exactly,” Jeff says, “But Starmen definitely. They attacked another part of the world about ten years before setting their sights on us, and were defeated by a group of kids like us. Among those kids were two PSI-users. A boy named Ninten and a girl named Ana.”

More PSI-users? If they’ve had a decade longer than us to work with their powers, I bet I could learn some nifty tricks. And beyond that, there are so few PSI-users out there that any other psychic is one step away from being found family.

“Both Ninten and Ana are missing,” Jeff says. “We have to consider the possibility that they’re thralls, and that the Starmen will go after you two as well. Yet another reason why I wanted us rested before trying anything else. Fighting experienced psychics is going to be a challenge no matter how you slice it, and trying to take them on without full resources is asking to get ass-whooped.”

“That… does make sense,” I say. “The Starman and thralls we’ve faced have been using telepathy to try and convince me to join their side.”

Ness sits up straight, frowning at me. “I haven’t heard anything from them. Why are they only talking to you?”

Because I’m the weak link. None of us say it, but I bet that’s the thought that passed through their minds as well.

“The point is that you both need to watch out,” Jeff says. “Now, that’s all I have. We have a big day tomorrow, so shall we turn in early?”

Neither of us argue with that, and as we begin setting up to go to bed Ness points out that not all of us can fit comfortably in his bed anymore. Looking at it now, it makes me wonder how the three of us ever used to share it. Good thing Poo was more comfortable sleeping on harder surfaces to begin with and was happy wrapped in a sheet on the ground.

“You and I both sleep like rocks,” Jeff says to Ness, “So it should be one of us in a sleeping bag. And since it doesn’t make sense to kick you out of your own bed, you and Paula can take it.”

Right, I do remember having to shake both of them awake because they slept through hotel alarm clocks even at blazing siren level. If Jeff’s happy taking a sleeping bag then I won’t complain, and his face betrays nothing when I glance his way. He doesn’t strike me as the type of person who’s invested in matchmaking, and he did say that it’s not his business if Ness and I get together. I can trust that this is a practical decision on his part.

Ness also doesn’t put up a fight, so a few minutes later the two of us are settled underneath the covers of his bed. It’s strange to think about how naturally we all jumped into hotel beds together during our adventure without even stopping to think through the implications. Contrast that to the awkwardness of sharing a bed with Ness now, knowing that this could be a scandal if someone snapped a picture of us.

That being said, the fact that Ness is asleep and snoring softly within three minutes does alleviate some of the tension. Hard to get weirded out when the other person isn’t even conscious, after all. And after closing my eyes, I begin to drift off almost immediately as well. I’m all too happy to let sleep take me, and soon I’m off into a deep slumber.

Until I wake up to the sound of screaming.

Chapter Text

Despite jolting awake from the noise, I remain frozen. I search the murky outlines within Ness’s room for a sign of danger. And after finding no malice in the shadows, I glance over at Ness to see him sitting up straight, panting. He shakes his head and hops out of bed, heading for the hallway. His footsteps are quiet, but there’s no fear in the way he regards the door.

Not danger, then, but a nightmare.

After Ness walks out into the hallway, I consider what to do. Glancing at the ground reveals that Jeff is still snoozing away. Really wasn’t kidding about sleeping like a rock, huh.

I hear the toilet flushing and the faucet running from the nearby bathroom, which dispels the more colorful anxieties about how Ness is handling the panic. Soon after the door opens and Ness slides in. When he sees me, his body stiffens.

“Shit,” he says. “Did I wake you up?”

I open my mouth to deny it before realizing how transparent of a lie that is. There aren’t many other explanations for waking up in the middle of the night after someone jolts awake screaming.

“Sorry, Paula.” Ness shakes his head. “Shit.”

“It’s…” all right? I can’t say that for him. “I’m fine. I was worried about you.”

Ness settles back into bed, and even though I’m on the opposite side I can feel the mattress slope towards him as it sinks from his weight. I had forgotten how much I had missed feeling his presence as I fall asleep.

“I’m all right,” Ness says. “It’s just a nightmare.”

“I may not have Jeff’s big brain,” I say, “But I did figure that part out.”

After the words come out I worry that I’m making things worse, but when I study Ness in the hazy darkness I see him smiling in response.

“Guess I wasn’t exactly hiding it.” Ness flops onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. “I thought I had it under control. But of course the nightmares show up when I’m with other people who need their rest.” He pauses, then glances over at Jeff. “Well, I’m glad one of you is sleeping through it.”

The nightmares are regular? I don’t remember Ness having them on our journey together. Ness studies me, and even through the dark I can tell that my expression hides no secrets from him.

“I know,” Ness says, “I didn’t exactly have ‘be more of a crybaby at age 17 than 12 on my bingo card either.’”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking.”

“Right, I shouldn’t put words in your mouth,” Ness says. “It’s hard enough answering to myself for only getting weaker over the past five years. I don’t need to pretend like you’re putting pressure on me too.”

“Having nightmares doesn’t make you weak,” I say. After a pause, “Do you want to talk about them?”

“Not really.”

Silence lingers between us. Eventually, Ness lets out a sigh.

“Thanks for the offer, Paula. Really, I do appreciate it. But this isn’t your problem, and even if it were then we should focus on getting sleep instead of having me whine and whimper about how scared I am.”

It’s not my place to push further if Ness doesn’t want to talk about, but something about that response doesn’t sit right with me. Ness talking about his fears isn’t “whining” any more than it was when we chatted about my tattoo back in the cave.

So as Ness pulls his arms under the covers, I scoot closer to him. He hesitates, and I push past the way it looks like he’s about to pull away from me.

“I can back off if you want,” I say, “But I want you to know that I’m here and that I’ll chase the nightmares away whenever they come.”

His posture relaxes. “Thank you. I… don’t mind you being close. But really, I’m fine.”

I snuggle up close to him and throw an arm over his chest, feeling its rise and fall as he breathes. With how I like to sleep on my side and his weight pulling me closer, it’s hard not to fall into his strong body entirely.

“I’m sorry.” Ness’s voice is shaky. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. You shouldn’t have to tuck me in like you’re my mom.”

“Don’t think about that,” I say. “I’m here, and I’m not leaving. Get some sleep and we’ll face the world together in the morning.”

Ness gulps and nods. And then we fall asleep together under the starlight filtering in through his windows.

#

Ness is back to his chipper self by the morning, and it isn’t until he shoots me a thankful glance at breakfast that I’m certain he even remembers the nightmare. If he doesn’t want to bring it up, I suppose it’s not any of my business.

After Ness’s mom hugs him on the way out, which he claims she’s doing to embarrass him in front of me and Jeff, we’re off and out to Saturn Valley. It may have been five years since I’ve been, but I remember the strange cylindrical houses and pale green grass like I live there.

Jeff chats up the Mr. Saturns lounging about, and only then do I remember that Jeff stayed with Dr. Andonuts after our adventure to work with them on developing… sciency stuff. I don’t think I ever heard the details. Still, it’s cute how happy they are to see Jeff, and they’re able to confirm that Dr. Andonuts is in the direction of Milky Well.

“All right,” Ness says, taking a deep breath. “Time to face the mushrooms.”

“Why do you think they’ll even be there?” I ask. “We haven’t run into any of Giygas’s minions except for that one Starman.”

“You can never be too careful where the Ramblin Evil Mushrooms are concerned,” Ness says. Shaking his head in mock disappointment, “I have failed as a leader by not instilling that wisdom in you.”

“I think the ones we fought here were the Struttin Evil Mushrooms, actually,” Jeff says.

Ness shoots Jeff a flat look, who cracks a smile after multiple seconds of pressure. Ness grins back at him, and the three of us head out the far end of Saturn Valley towards the sanctuary.

It’s good to be back here with friends.

Lo and behold, we don’t encounter any mushrooms or enemies on our way to Milky Well. Not that the foes we faced here five years ago should even present much of a threat to us at our current strength. And while I expect that the lack of enemies means that Ness will stop talking about the mushrooms, I am proven wrong. It’s only after several minutes of back and forth between him and Jeff that I realize how Jeff is looking less tense than when we arrived.

Right. While we all want to save Dr. Andonuts, this mission has special importance for Jeff. Even though I’m sick of hearing them argue about the evil mushrooms, I’m glad that Ness is keeping a pulse on how Jeff’s doing.

And as we enter the final cave and approach the sanctuary, they at least have the good sense to quiet down. And when we peek around the corner to the exit that leads to Milky Well, we see Dr. Andonuts levitating above the ground.

Except unlike the other thralls, the ends of his fingers transition into tiny grey Starman arm-tentacles where his fingernails should be.

“Why do you resist serenity, Paula? You of all people should know how this is necessary for us.”

A vision flashes in my mind. I’m seeing through the eyes of Dr. Andonuts, staring down a group of four kids ready to enter the Time Distorter. He warns them that they may never return to their bodies, but that doesn’t dissuade them. Ness rallies the other kids together, and they all agree. No hesitation, no regrets.

Right then, a thought passes through the mind of Dr. Andonuts. That his machine is being used to send children off to what could be their graves. The baby face and sweet smile of Ness, the serene poise of Paula, the steady acceptance of Poo, and the even resolve of Jeff. His own son.

He wonders how he will live with himself if they do not return. And he decides that if he thinks about it for too long, he will change his mind on allowing them to fight Giygas. So instead, he tells them to enter.

I return to my own mind, recognizing the empathic emotion flowing from Dr. Andonuts into me as self-hatred. It lingers for several seconds. She and the others—no, I and the others—looked so young through his eyes. How often did Dr. Andonuts return to that moment in the years after we defeated Gigyas?  

“Do you blame me for wanting to escape myself, Paula? Do you look down on me?”

No, I don’t. Not after what I’ve done.

“All right,” Ness says. “I don’t think he’s seen us. We should try to get Paula as close as we can before-”

Calm. Sharp, cold, ecstatic. For a second, my thoughts and body are not my own. I am a raindrop in a river, being carried with the current. I have no control, no responsibilities.

I simply am.

“Paula?”

Even Ness’s voice sounds distant, and only after processing the confusion in his voice do I realize that I’ve stepped out towards Dr. Andonuts.

“Let’s move,” Jeff says. “Get his attention on us and the influence will break.”

He darts out from behind the cavern wall and whips out a laser gun, firing it at Dr. Andonuts. As Dr. Andonuts reels, the calm releases its hold on me. Once again, the sensation of my own thoughts and feelings returning is like getting socked in the stomach. How do I live with this much anxiety in my day-to-day life?

Ness barrels towards Dr. Andonuts, and I take the hint and run after. Dr. Andonuts fires beam attacks from his Starman-tentacle fingers. First I see them slam into Ness, who flies back and tumbles on the ground, and then my vision goes red and I slam onto the cave floor. I gasp and stumble to my feet, the pain fading when Ness darts over and uses Lifeup PSI to heal me.

“How do we get close when he can bat us away with those lasers?” Ness shouts in Jeff’s direction. “Any big brain ideas?”

“You know I was never the battle strategist.” Jeff peeks out from the cavern wall, and then ducks behind it to avoid beam attacks aimed at him. “I don’t spy any PSI weaknesses, but he looks healthy enough. Let’s throw some attacks his way and charge when he’s reeling.”

Ness nods. “I have an idea. Paula, stay behind me. Jeff, try to slow him down.”

He takes off back towards Dr. Andonuts, and I do my best to keep up while my lungs start screaming for air. When Dr. Andonuts raises his hands to unleash more beam attacks, Ness halts and I nearly run into his back.

“At my side,” Ness says. “Make sure my body’s shielding you, but don’t stand behind me.”

Easier said than done, but I do as I’m told and run around to Ness’s side. A thought passes through my mind about how it must look like I’m clinging onto him like some scared damsel, but in the heat of the battle it’s easy to discard the self-conscious attitude.

Dr. Andonuts levels his tentacle-fingers at Ness and fires beams from them.

“Shield β.”

Ness covers himself in a jagged, blocky sheen of rainbow right before the beams hit him. They still connect and send him flying back past me, but in addition to not throwing him as far the beams also reflect back at Dr. Andonuts and send him staggering. This causes him to fall to the ground, and a blob of green, sticky ooze flies from Jeff’s direction and binds Dr. Andonuts to the ground.

Three cheers for Jeff’s slime generator still working after all these years. Time to finish this.

I sprint towards Dr. Andonuts, pushing my body as far as I can. The attack that Ness reflected gives me a couple second head start, but Dr. Andonuts soon shakes off the pain. He’s looking bad enough that we won’t be able to try that maneuver again without risking a serious injury on his part, so I need to make this chance count.

Dr. Andonuts raises his hand to fire more beams. Right as his tentacle fingers start to glow, I reach out.

“PSI Magnet.”

As I say the words, I’m able to grab onto his hand. Power floods into my veins, faster and stronger than I’m used to. My vision flashes white, and when I come to I’m on my hands and knees panting. I glance over at Dr. Andonuts, who is also on the ground and unconscious. The good news is that his Starman-like features have vanished, leaving him as the same elderly man I remember.

“You okay?”

I glance over to see Ness offering a hand. I take it, and once again the smoothness and ease at which he pulls me up leaves me impressed by his strength. I let go and create a crackle of psychic energy. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Seems like the burst of energy isn’t affecting my powers,” I say, “And I don’t feel any different.”

“I believe your body expelled the excess energy as a defense mechanism,” Jeff says. “It’s not ideal to rely on the technique, but if you don’t feel any different then I don’t see a reason to worry right now.”

Jeff glances down at the unconscious body of Dr. Andonuts. Even with Tony, Jeff’s affection was reserved, so it shouldn’t surprise me how analytical he looks now.

“I was worried about this,” Jeff says. “My father looks all right, but it’s clear what the purpose of taking over his consciousness was. And to think that this started five years ago in Stonehenge.”

Right, the grey-tentacle fingers we saw during the fight can only mean one thing. Before we intervened, Dr. Andonuts was in the process of becoming a Starman.  

Chapter Text

Ness is able to resuscitate Dr. Andonuts without issue, and we begin leading him back to Saturn Valley. He’s a bit groggy at first, but after a few minutes halts and regards Ness.

“Young Ness,” Dr. Andonuts says, “Is that you? When did you get so tall?”

“It’s been five years, doc,” Ness says. “You didn’t think I was still going to look like a preteen, do you?”

“Begs the question of why you still dress like one,” Jeff mutters.

“Shush.” Ness glances at Jeff and presses a finger to his lip. Turning back to Dr. Andonuts, “It’s good to see you again after all these years. I did mean to check in before this, but I guess I’m too forgetful without your son around to set me straight.”

“Likewise.” Dr. Andonuts nods. “It is good to make your acquaintance once again. And you as well, Miss Paula.”

Funny how him calling me that during our adventure made me feel dignified. Now, I can only hear it as well-meaning but slightly condescending. We continue our journey back to Saturn Valley, and upon arriving we sit Dr. Andonuts down by the hot springs and update him on what’s happened.

“Ah, yes,” Dr. Andonuts says. “I was wondering why those Starmen kidnapped us all those years back. Truth be told, I suspected something of the sort was behind my newfound psychic powers. Hrm, I did get the contact information of everyone who was captured.”

Jeff blinks. “That’s a surprising amount of foresight coming from you, dad.”

“My, my, you are developing an attitude after all.” Dr. Andonuts twirls the end of his mustache. “No matter. Their numbers should be in my notes… somewhere.”

“And there’s the kicker,” Jeff says. “I’ll help you look through your records so we can check up on the others. Hopefully your notes are only at the astonishingly disorganized state I saw them last instead of the horrifyingly disorganized state in your Winters lab.”

Ness whistles. “When did you get so ruthless, man?”

Jeff pushes up his glasses. “I believe this behavior is expected for a teenager in the midst of their rebellious phase such as myself. Now, dad, before I devote hours of my life to staring at your messy handwriting, we should address how you were turning into a Starman.”

“Yes, yes,” Dr. Andonuts says. “Concerning indeed. But it’s not altogether surprising, is it? Knowledge of PSI was originally taken from Starmen by some fellow named George near the start of the 20^th century.”

“But Ness and I never started turning into Starmen,” I say.

“Astute observation. It appears that PSI is not indicative of Starman influence, but the other way around. We never did figure out why they actually wanted to conquer Earth to begin with, did we?”

I exchange a glance. Is he saying that Giygas’s endgame was turning us all into Starmen using PSI? We couldn’t comprehend much by confronting the entity itself, so that guess is as good as any.

“And now five years later,” Jeff says, “Transformations are starting. Why now?”

“I’d like to know the answer as well, my boy. Suffice to say that it is progressing, and that we should drain the powers from the others to prevent the situation from escalating further.”

“So let me get this straight,” Ness says. “We have to big brain scientists who independently figured out that the abduction victims from five years ago started developing psychic powers, and neither of them realized it was a red flag until they started being possessed?”

Jeff shrugs. “Curiosity killed the cat and all.”

“That’s not nearly a good enough reason.” Ness turns to me. “Back me up, Paula.”

All eyes go to me. Oh boy.

“At least we know now,” I say. “Let’s make sure the others who got taken to Stonehenge five years ago are okay first. We can worry about being more careful in the future later.”

“My, my,” Dr. Andonuts says to Ness. “Your lady friend does have quite a good head on her shoulders.”

“And you had to go and make us look bad by sounding condescending,” Jeff says. “I take it back, Ness. Genius scientists are actually all idiots and shouldn’t be trusted. Happy?”

“When am I not?” Ness says, giving Jeff’s shoulder an affectionate shake.

“Anyways,” Jeff says, “It sounds like we have our plan. My father and I look through his notes, and while I undergo that cruel and unusual punishment you two hang out. Don’t teleport out of town, since we might need to grab you at any time.”

“You sure you don’t want help?” I say.

“Unless you figured out how to use telepathy on pen ink, I think my father’s notes will be indecipherable.”

“Well,” Ness says, “I have no interest in reading through info that is denser than school textbooks, so have fun.”

“I will be experiencing quite the opposite, thanks,” Jeff says.

I pause, but Ness’s smile in combination with Jeff’s light tone confirms that there’s no passive-aggression behind the words. I guess this is Jeff’s sense of humor now. Once again, it strikes me how little I know the personalities of my friends after the past five years. I’m left to mourn what could have been, fun trips with Ness’s teleport and friendly chatter under the stars. Jeff even mentioned seeing Poo recently, making me even more reclusive than the literal monk.

“Hey Paula,” Ness says. “What do you want to do?”

I blink, and then look around at the Mr. Saturns strolling about. It doesn’t look like we’re bursting with options for activities.

“How about we stroll around the village?” Ness says. “We can make our own fun.”

That sounds like what parents say to get kids off the computer, but it’s not like I have any better ideas. We head through the cave in the middle of the village up to the higher level, where I can see the pink hot spring and the path back to Milky Well.

“We could relax in the spring,” Ness says. Then, sizing me up, “Actually, we shouldn’t go in with our clothes in case Jeff needs us soon and you got pretty squeamish the last time we were in our underwear. So maybe not.”

“Well excuse me,” I say. “Mixed-sex springs aren’t standard anywhere in the country, you know. But sure, I’m the weird one.”

After a bout of silence, a feeling of dread sinks through me.

“Wait,” I say. “Was that offensive?”

Ness blinks. “Offensive?”

“I mean, since you’re into… boys and girls, I guess mixed or single sex doesn’t matter for that angle either way. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Paula.” Ness looks like he’s about to burst into laughter. “You should look into writing for comedy shows. That would be the funniest thing for someone to get offended by.”

I scowl. “Stop making fun of me. I’m still learning about…” what did Jeff call it, again? “Queerness. Or is that not something I’m supposed to say when I’m not like you and him?”

“You can say it. Some people get annoyed, but I don’t think there’s any harm in using the word itself. And sorry for poking fun. Why don’t we move on and see what’s left of Master Belch’s factory for old time’s sake? I bet the smell has finally cleared out after five years.”

I let out a sigh. Even dealing with Master Belch again sounds better than embarrassing myself around discussions of Ness’s identity. At least he’s not judging me for my awkwardness with the topic.

Ness whistles to himself as he leads the way into the factory, but the sound stops a few steps in. When he tenses, I step around and ready my PSI for a potential ambush. But instead of an enemy, what awaits us inside is a lone, stationary object.

The Phase Distorter.

My main reaction is finding it strange how small it looks now that I’ve grown. Sure, Mr.-Saturn-shaped machine is still larger than me, but instead of towering over us it looks like I could barely fit inside. And when I glance over at Ness, the expression in his eyes is unmistakable.

Haunted.

“Um,” Ness says. “Do you want to look inside the factory? It was only an idea, and I could really go either way.”

“Ness, you’re terrible at acting like this doesn’t bother you.”

I grimace after the words come out. In contrast to Ness who can always talk his way around awkward subjects to liven up the mood, I had to go about and phrase my comment in a way that sounds like an accusation.

“Guess you’re right,” Ness says.

Silence. Ness doesn’t move.

“So let’s head out, then,” I say.

Ness nods and follows me out. Even when we enter the sunlight of Saturn Valley, his face looks pale. An entire minute passes without either of us talking, which only reinforces how bad I am at talking things through when he’s not guiding me through it.

All right, Paula. You can at least try to support your friend.

“What do you need right now?” I ask.

“I need…” Ness glances around. “To climb that ladder.”

He points at one of the random ladders scattered around the village, this one standing several stories tall and not leading to anything. I never understood what the point of them was, but I remember that they supported our weight well enough when Ness apparently needed to check each one to make sure there wasn’t a hidden item chest at the top.

“Oh,” I say. “Um. Want company?”

“If you don’t mind indulging me, then sure.”

Ness heads over and starts climbing, and I head up after him. So much nicer than the rope we scaled on our way to the Rainy Circle. When I reach the top, there’s barely enough room for both of us to sit on the highest rung. My side is pressed against his, and I grab onto the railing side behind his back as the wind whips past us. Ness reaches behind my back to do the same, and it feels almost like we’re holding each other.

“Sorry about that,” Ness says. “And I bet blurting out that I needed to climb a ladder made me look like a little kid.”

“I… definitely wasn’t expecting something so straightforward when I asked what you needed.”

Ness laughs. “Well, at least it’s not like you were ever going to think I was cool to begin with. I mean, after making everyone put delisauce on rock candy and then lick it off in the middle of battles because Jeff said it was the best way to improve our combat capabilities-”

“Okay, but that one did work. I was amazed it made us stronger without the rock candy disappearing.”

“-And then there was me rooting around in trash cans while everyone else watched.”

“Oh my god, the trash burgers.” I give him a nudge with my elbow. “That was disgusting. Don’t remind me of that.”

Ness grins. “That’s the point, Paula. There’s not much I can do to make myself look worse than what you’ve already seen.” His expression sobers. “So do I have such a hard time letting you see me when I’m weak?”

As I grasp for the right words, I follow Ness’s gaze out into the distance. From here we can see over the cave into Saturn Valley, all the way out to Grapefruit Falls. And across the lake, I can make out Threed. When I squint, I swear I can even see Twoson further out. The world is so far away, like it can’t hurt us here.

The wind whips past us, and Ness takes off his cap to hold it between his knees. His hair ruffles in the breeze, and his expression softens. It’s like…

Like a natural version of that serenity I felt from the Starman and thralls.

“I’m sorry,” Ness says. “You were so open with me about the past five years, and here I am being all bullheaded. Even when it’s obvious.”

I think back to the Phase Distorter, and then to Ness screaming himself awake last night.

“Giygas?” I say.

He nods. “How often do you think about him?”

“So little that it feels weird. I kept myself up at night thinking about bad press I got for dyeing my hair, but what happened with Giygas never fazed me after it was over.”

“Makes sense. I was helpless against Giygas. Trying to resist the flash attacks and using Healing PSI on anyone who fell unconscious, but not doing it as well as Poo. And then you were the one who broke through and saved us.”

By being desperate and calling to be saved. Funny how I feel so conflicted about what should be my proudest moment.

“At least I did more than Jeff,” Ness says. “So at least I can feel better by putting someone else down. Healthy coping mechanism, don’t you think?”

“Paula.”

As I look out into the distance, space seems to bend. My vision zooms forward by miles, even though I know my body is still back in Saturn Valley with Ness. With a bird’s eye view, I fly over Threed and Twoson, and Onett passes by to my right. There’s only one place this can be taking me. And when my vision flies over a cave system and focuses on an outside area with a massive humanoid footprint, I know I’m right.

Giant’s Step.

And there, floating above the sanctuary, is the Starman. It looks like any other Starman, so I can’t say for sure that it’s the one who attacked in Twoson and Winters. But the voice in my head is the same, and I can’t shake the feeling of familiarity.

“I see. You will come to me when you are ready to face your fate. I await your presence.”

My view zooms back out, like my soul is flying back into my body. The jarring transition leaves me stiff, nauseous. I feel myself begin to lurch.

“Paula?” Ness’s voice sounds distant. “You don’t look good. What’s-”

And then I fall.  

Chapter Text

The ground rises to meet me as I plummet. Right as I open my mouth to scream, a force clamps down around my ankle. I jerk to a halt, dangling a few feet off the ground.

“You want to do me a favor and grab onto the ladder?”

After hearing the strained voice, I look up past my feet to see Ness, one hand around my ankle and the other on a ladder rung. The way his arms are strained means that I can see the full tension in his flexed muscles, and it looks like his tight-fitting t-shirt might actually rip under the pressure like when cartoon characters flex.

“Paula?”

“Right. Sorry.”

I reach for the ladder and grab onto a rung. I climb up bar by bar, Ness keeping his hold on me until I’m nearly upright again. We climb down, and once on the ground Ness rubs his hands together and winces. I study his palms and don’t see any signs of blistering, at least.

Ness reaches for the brim of his cap, and only then do I process that it isn’t there. He tenses and glances around, and the relief that washes over him when he spots it a few paces away looks genuine. He runs over, shakes the dirt out, and places it back on his head with a deep sigh.

“I’m scandalized that you saw me without the cap again,” Ness says. “It’s like being naked. You’re the squeamish one, so I was counting on you to point it out.”

I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at him, and only after I catch the twinkle in his eye do I realize he’s diffused the tension in the air yet again. But this time, I’m not going to hide my experiences.

“Sorry about the fall,” I say. “You know how I mentioned that the Starman and thralls have been using telepathy to talk with me? I saw that Starman by Giant’s Step and it was talking to me.”

Ness frowns. “That doesn’t sound good. I know we’re not supposed to bug the dynamic Andonuts duo,” He breaks a smile upon catching the glance I shoot at his way in response to the name, “But we could see if they have any ideas.”

I nod. There is a part of me that wants to spend more time with Ness alone, but we should address this sooner rather than later. But before that…

“One last thing,” I say. “Remember when you were talking about how I’ll never see you as cool after I spent a lot of time around you while you were twelve?”

“You mean three minutes ago? My memory’s not that bad, Paula.”

“Well, you were right.”

Ness huffs, crossing his arms. “And after I saved you from a nasty fall, too. I see how it is.”

“I’m not done.”

Ness’s comedic indignance breaks, and I see a glint of unease behind it. I’m not sure I ever realized how much of his heart Ness offered me, and he knows I could shatter it right here and now.

“I’m glad that you’re not cool,” I say. “I’m glad that I’m not some girl from Onett who sees only the hero that she’ll never be good enough for. I’m glad that I get to see the real you, delisauce-covered rock candy and all. Thanks for having my back, Ness. During our adventure and now. And I wouldn’t trade the time we spent together for anything in the world.”

“So I’m hearing,” Ness says, “That my trash burgers were actually a good thing that helped break the ice between us.”

I shoot him a flat look, which only makes his grin widen. After a second, the energy in his expression fades to a quieter warmth in his eyes and smile.

“Sorry,” he says. “I couldn’t resist. Thanks, Paula. That means more to me than you know. Even after our chat in that horrible puzzle dungeon in Winters, I was still worried you hated me.”

“What?” I furrow my brow. “Why would I hate you?”

“I never claimed my worries made sense, Paula. If I were normal then I wouldn’t be picking hamburgers out of trash cans.”

I let out a sigh at that, and Ness breaks into a laugh.

“Last time I’ll joke about it, I promise,” he says. “But seriously. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. Now let’s see what the smart people have to say about what happened to you.”

Couldn’t ask for a better friend. Was Jeff wrong about Ness liking me, or does he still not realize my feelings for him? I mull over the question as we walk back to the building Dr. Andonuts is staying in, and upon entering Ness has to pull me back so I don’t slip on all the papers scattered across the floor.

“Uh, sorry about that,” Jeff says. “Good news is that we actually found what we were looking for, somehow. I don’t suppose you prayed for us and got a good result, Paula?”

I blink. I know he’s making a joke about the random effects that came from my prayers during our adventure, but I can’t remember the last time I’ve prayed at all.

“And there’s that.”

Dr. Andonuts’s voice. I glance over to see him putting down the phone and turning to us. “All of the others who got abducted report no sign of psychic powers. I don’t think they were hiding anything from me, but I suppose that isn’t out of the question.”

“Good news,” Jeff says, “Though it means we need a new lead about where to go next.”

Ness exchanges a glance with me, and I nod. He informs Jeff and Dr. Andonuts about what happened up on the ladder, including my fall.

“Oh, dear,” Dr. Andonuts says. “Are you quite all right, Miss Paula?”

“We’re both fine,” Ness says, “Aside from my cap getting a little banged up.”

Jeff studies the hat. “Is that the same one from five years ago? You need a new one anyways.”

“All I can say,” Ness replies, “Is that some of us didn’t go and get a big head after the adventure ended, so my cap still fits.”

Jeff snorts. “That wasn’t the worst comeback. You might have a chance as a third-rate comedian after all.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Ness winks at him. “Always nice to know my friends believe in me.”

“Not to interrupt your little moment,” I say, “But what do you two think about the Starman and what it’s doing to me?”

Jeff’s hand goes to his chin, and the focus in the gaze behind his thick glasses makes him look like a professor even at age seventeen.

“I have a hypothesis,” he says. “This Starman has more powerful PSI than we’ve seen from any of its kind, it’s speaking to Paula in a human-like manner, and we know that some people started to turn into Starmen. Combine that with the fact that all the people who were taken to Stonehenge are accounted for, where does that leave us?”

“They could have captured someone else and turned them into a Starman,” I say. “Someone like…”

When I meet Jeff’s gaze, I know we’ve arrived at the same answer.

“The missing psychics who fought Starmen before,” Jeff says. “Ninten and Ana. What if the Starmen already forced their transformations? It could explain why this one is powerful enough to use telepathy on someone miles away.”

“Okay,” Ness says, “But then why have we only seen one? And I don’t know how much the human speech matters. We’ve been able to talk with Starmen in English before.”

“Like I said, it’s a working hypothesis. But it’s guarding a sanctuary like the other thralls were. Either way we’ll have to take it on, and we should prepare for the worst and assume that we’re dealing with a powerful psychic here.”

The room goes quiet. Another question lingers in the air that nobody has dared to ask. If this Starman is able to tap into my mind, am I a liability? Right now, the point is moot. My PSI Magnet is the only reliable tool we have for dealing with this thing. If the Starman tries to influence my mind again, Ness and Jeff will have to distract it long enough for me to get close and drain its power.

Or there could be another way out.

“If we’re really against a master psychic,” I say, “We need all the help we can get. I don’t suppose you two have another way of getting into contact with Poo?”

Ness shoots Jeff a questioning look, who responds with a curt shake of his head.

“He could have called my home phone back for all I know,” Ness says. “I can check and leave him another voicemail. It’s better than nothing.”

Jeff and I both hesitate before nodding, but in the end it’s not like we have better ideas. At least now we have a plan.

To Onett, then.

#

After Ness teleports us to Onett, Jeff says he wants to check out the nearby stores for junk parts while Ness makes the call. I’m hesitant to let him go after the last time he went off somewhere on his own we found him unconscious in a cave, but he should be safe walking around in Onett.

Besides, it’s me that the Starman wants, not Jeff.

Ness and I make our way back to his house, and when Ness enters I see Tracy at the kitchen table doing homework. With all the chaos that’s happened, it takes me a second to remember that today is a Saturday.

“How is Dr. Oldnuts doing?” Tracy asks, not looking up from her worksheet.

“Better than ever,” Ness says. “Mom’s out?”

“Running errands. She’ll be sad when I tell her she missed you. I need to find my own monthlong adventure so that she spoils me whenever I’m around.”

“You do that,” Ness says. “You didn’t happen to get a call from Dalaam this morning, did you?”

Tracy scrunches up her nose. “Who do I look like to you, someone who answers phone calls? Check the voicemail yourself.”

The fact that Ness is unfazed by Tracy’s attitude tells me that this is normal behavior for her. I was always jealous of Ness for having a younger sibling, but now I’m starting to wonder if I dodged a bullet.

Ness heads over to check the phone, and once he’s out of the dining room Tracy finally looks up and studies me.

“Thanks for keeping him alive, Paula. I’d rather our mom doesn’t find out how helpless he is on his own.”

“Actually, he’s been doing most of the keeping us alive.”

Tracy snorts. “He had better pull his weight after leading you all into danger time after time.” She pauses, setting down her pencil. “You know that he likes you, right?”

I blink. “Jeff mentioned that, yeah.”

“Cool. Just making sure.”

She goes back to her worksheet.

“Um,” I say. “Did Ness tell you that?”

“That he likes you?” Tracy looks up at me, raising an eyebrow. “He may be desperate where girls are concerned. I might even go so far as to call him a lost cause. But even he’s not going to tell his little sister about his crushes and look for approval or advice.”

“I… suppose he wouldn’t.”

Tracy finishes a problem, circles the answer, and flips the page over.

“Tracy?” I say.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Is Ness… doing all right? I mean, after his journey, did he have a hard time going back to a normal life?”

“Ness wouldn’t know a hard time until it socked him in the face,” Tracy says. “He was happy to finally be the popular kid. Always in a mood so good that it was kind of annoying.”

That does match up with how I saw him act towards the other Onett students who were in that bus we protected. I hadn’t realized until seeing him again how much of that camaraderie was a learned skill.

“And he wasn’t, like, depressed?” I say.

“No.” She studies me. “What are you getting at?”

“Hey hey.”

I nearly jump upon hearing Ness’s voice from behind. He walks into the dining room, glancing down at Tracy’s worksheet.

“How’s algebra?”

“It’s quite literally child’s play. Don’t you have better things to be doing?”

Ness laughs, unfazed. “We’re waiting for Jeff anyways. What were you two talking about?”

“You,” Tracy says.

For a second I’m worried she’s going to relay what I was asking about, but she doesn’t elaborate.

“All good things, I hope?” Ness says.

Tracy snorts. “You wish. All your fangirls stroke your ego enough already. You definitely don’t need any more praise from me and Paula.”

“They’re not fangirls, Tracy. We’re all classmates who chat with each other because there’s not much to do in this town.”

“Yeah, yeah, and your favorite food isn’t steak.” She sighs and looks up at Ness. “As much as hearing your voice makes doing homework annoying enough to be a challenge, don’t you have better ways to kill time before Jeff gets back?”

As if on cue, the doorbell rings. Ness leads me over, glancing back at Tracy to shake his head with an amused smile on his face.

“Thanks for bearing with her,” Ness says. “She means well, even if she’s… getting used to being a teenager.”

“You’re a patient older brother,” I say.

“Eh, she’s also pretty nice for a little sister. Getting roasted is about as bad as it gets. None of the kicking beneath the table or stealing my stuff or fake crying to get me in trouble with mom that normally comes with the territory.”

If this is the standard for nice younger sibling, then maybe I did luck out. Still, it was good to chat with Tracy and confirm that she hasn’t seen any of the vulnerability Ness shared with me. I want to tell him that he can always be open with me about that kind of thing, but I’m not someone who can direct conversations in the way that he can. So in the end, I stay silent as Ness opens the door and reveals Jeff in the doorway.

“Got some good parts,” Jeff says. “Nothing that will help us now, but could be useful down the road. How’d things go on your end?”

“I got a royal advisor from Dalaam saying that Poo isn’t available,” Ness says. “I asked him to pass along my message but didn’t get the feeling he’ll do it. I think we’re on our own for a while.”

Jeff sighs. “Figures. Any last stops before Giant’s Step?”

We look around, and none of us come up with anything else we need to prepare. I take a deep breath. Time to face this Starman who’s been pestering us on its own turf.

Chapter Text

We make our way west of Onett and arrive at a cave that Ness immediately proceeds to get lost in by heading into the first offshoot tunnel he sees.

“Hey,” Ness says, “You two need to start pulling your weight and telling me when I’m going the wrong direction. Jeff, where did that big brain of yours go?”

Jeff raises an eyebrow. “It’s currently recalling that only one of us has been here before. And I’ll give you a hint. That one person isn’t me our Paula.”

Ness blinks. “Right. I…” he shakes his head. “Right.”

I study his expression as it turns wistful.

“Ness?” I say. “You all right?”

“Hm?” The energy returns to his face. “No, I’m not all right. I just looked like a dumbass in front of my friends.”

“And here I was thinking you’d be used to the feeling,” Jeff mutters.

“I heard that.” Ness adjusts his cap. “Not all who wander are lost, you know. You both need to learn how to be patient.”

“Trust me,” Jeff says, “I’m exercising quite a bit of patience at this moment.”

At this point I cross my arms and tell them both to get a move on, which Ness is happy enough to do. It feels like every other conversation he gets all quiet before joking around and acting like it didn’t happen, and unlike the previous times I have no idea what’s on his mind now. I’ll have to check in on him afterwards and see what’s on his mind.

Traversing through the cave is more annoying than I expect, with several sets of ropes to climb. Eventually, I give up trying to reach the top with any sort of grace, flopping on the ground and panting when I make it up.

“We’re going to whip you back into shape,” Ness says, grinning as he offers a hand. “Don’t worry. Healing PSI can help the muscle soreness if you push yourself too far.”

I let Ness pull me up, and I see Jeff halt and regard him.

“Is that how you put on muscle?” Jeff says.

Ness puts his hands on his hips. “It’s not cheating. I do the exercise like anyone else. And Poo said I shouldn’t over rely on it or it will mess up my body like steroids, so I’m being careful.”

“My only conclusion,” I say, “Is that this place is a death trap. Why are people even allowed to come in here?”

“Actually, they aren’t,” Ness says. “I had to get special approval by fighting a tank.”

I exchange a glance with Jeff. I’m still not sold on Ness’s story about Frank Fly pulling out an actual military-grade tank on him, but Ness has been sticking to that story for five years and I don’t think I’ve heard him tell an outright lie about our adventure before.

When I look back at Ness, I see that once again he appears lost in thought.

“What was it like,” I say, “To go through this on your own?”

Ness looks startled, but recovers with a trademark cheesy smile so quickly that I start to wonder if I imagined it.

“I was too dumb of a kid to realize the danger,” he says. “If I fall from any of those ropes, I die alone in this cave. But I heard the prophecy from Buzz Buzz and trusted it to keep me safe. It was all I could think about.”

“That,” Jeff says, raising an eyebrow. “Is concerningly on brand.”

Part of me wants to dig further, but I’ve delayed us for long enough. And after a few more grueling rope climbs, we reach the exit to the sanctuary. This time, there’s nobody standing in front of it, but if I’m right the Starman should be outside. I let Ness lead the way, and the three of us step out into the light of Giant’s Step.

“Welcome, child of the stars.”

I look up to see the Starman hovering out of reach above us. Jeff raises his gun towards it, but I hold up a hand.

“You’ve been going after me,” I say. “Why? What makes me a child of the stars?”

“You are us. Your PSI proves it.”

“Ness has PSI too. Why do you only talk with me?”

“The mistress wants to heal you. Our serenity can save you.”

Mistress? As I ponder the words, calm starts to creep in at the edge of my mind. My peripheral vision goes blurry, and my heartbeat slows from a frantic pounding to a steady thump.

“Jeff,” The word sounds distant in my ears. “Shoot it.”

A blast of energy fires from Jeff’s gun, causing the Starman to teleport a few feet away and avoid it. The calm fades in the millisecond it warps, and I gasp for air as my emotions return.

“Very well, Paula. I will let you struggle until your flame burns itself out.”

The next second, several Starmen appear in a ring around us. I put up a PSI Shield Ω in anticipating of the incoming Starstorm, but instead of letting loose with powerful PSI they fire beam attacks at us.

The battlefield descends into chaos. Jeff pulls out his heavy bazooka and starts firing, and when I glance over at Ness I see him charging at one with a baseball bat. I didn’t even know the two of them had their hard-hitting equipment at the ready, but I guess you don’t live through an adventure like us without learning to prepare.

Ness brings his bat down onto one of the Starmen, the force of impact sending the alien skidding back. When he whirls around to bash another, I see the look of fire in his eyes I recognize so well from our adventure. Even at age 12, there was a perverse beauty to the destruction caused by his raw strength. Now that he’s packed on a foot of height and eighty pounds of muscle, he looks like he could bulldoze this entire place to rubble with that baseball bat alone.

I tear my gaze away from him and dart out through the opening created in the Starman line by Ness’s assault. I whirl around to see Jeff following behind, and the Starmen that were attacking him now go for Ness. No matter how much Ness reminds me of a charging rhino, he can’t take all six enemies on at once. When the Starmen surround him, I get an idea.

“Ness!” I shout. “To us.”

Ness doesn’t hesitate, darting towards us and shoulder checking a Starman on his way out. Sure enough, the aliens turn to us as they begin to advance.

All nice and lined up.

“Fire Ω.”

I extend a hand forward, willing the ground in front of me to erupt. A wall of flames bursts up from the ground, the inferno blazing brightly enough that I can feel the heat even here several yards away. When the power ends and I lower my hand, all that’s left are six remains of defeated Starmen.

“Nice one, Paula.” Ness grins, his eyes alight with battle thrill. “Like knocking down a line of Fobbies.”

“You take pleasure in destruction. In forcing your will on the world. That cannot last. Eventually, you will grow weary and fall.”

I look up to see that the original Starman is still there, floating out of melee reach. It raises its tentacles up to the sky, and another wave of Starmen appear.

“Shit,” Ness says. “How long’s it going to keep doing that?”

“We’ll have to take the flying one out,” Jeff says. “Ness, you try to keep the ones on the ground busy.”

Right as he says that, beams fly from the new wave of Starmen, sending me and Jeff staggering back while Ness rushes forward. Jeff aims his bazooka at the flying Starman, his explosions clipping it even as it warps around, while Ness enters a brawl with the ones on the ground. I fire my PSI at both, trying to keep Ness from getting overwhelmed while making progress with our main target.

The fight becomes chaotic as beams fly around amidst Jeff’s explosions and my PSI. I weave Freeze, Fire, and Thunder in to keep them at bay. Adrenaline rushes through me as I call glaciers, infernos, and the sky itself to split and rain down lightning. This is what I made a name of myself for five years ago, and now I have a chance to prove my mettle.

But with each Starman that we take out on the ground, two more take its place. Ness has to pause and heal more often, which results in him betting blasted with entire barrages of beams. And while we are making progress against the floating Starman who appears to be their leader, something about the situation doesn’t feel right. What if there really is a person behind that alien body? Will we kill them when we take out the Starman?

“What do you think you are accomplishing? We can create more husks as Giygas did. It does not matter how many of them you take out.”

Husks. It really does seem like the Starman floating around and taunting me is a different creature than the mindless creatures that match up with the Starmen from our adventures. Time for a test.

I run towards the group of Starmen where Ness is bashing away at them with his baseball bat. I get close enough that Ness swirls around, nearly hitting me.

“Paula?” he says. “What are you-”

No time to indulge him in talk.

“PSI Magnet Ω.”

I drain in the psychic power from all the Starmen around, and sure enough it’s like I remember from our adventure. I get a bit of energy from each one, but not nearly the same burst I got from Dr. Andonuts. In fact, as I attune myself to the psychic power flowing into my veins, the only one more substantial than the others is coming from up towards the sky.

A number of beam attacks hit me at once, and my vision goes red with pain. Shit, I need to-

“Lifeup γ.”

A hand falls onto my shoulder, and a healing light washes over me. I glance over to see Ness shooting me a concerned look. I nod in thanks and head back over to where Jeff is.

“What was that?” Jeff says. “If you’re that low on PSI energy, I have-”

“The one in the sky is a thrall,” I say. “I’m sure of it. That means there’s a person in there. I need to get close and drain its power.”

Jeff hesitates. “I don’t think it’s coming down on its own. Focus your PSI on it. We can knock it out of the sky together.”

I shake my head. “I can’t risk hurting the person.”

“Okay, but what are our other options?”

The Starman in the sky looks like it’s about to attack Ness, so Jeff swaps to its gun and fires a beam its way. The Starman teleports to avoid the shot, but its own attack windup is also interrupted. I narrow my gaze at it. When I focus my thoughts, I can feel its intentions. I knew where it was going to teleport right before it did.

Now if only I could get up into the air…

An idea forms in my head. This is possibly the stupidest way I could die, but the fact that I have Ness around to heal me up makes it slightly less of a death sentence than otherwise.

And I’m not about to leave another person trapped as a Starman.

“If you attach one of your bottle rockets to me,” I say, “Can it carry me up?”

“Paula.” Jeff shoots an incredulous look. “Remember, those things explode.”

“Can it handle my weight?”

Jeff pauses. “Yes. And I can control the direction, but when I’m remote all I can do is activate it.”

So he has to set the direction before putting it on me. I can work with that.

“Great. Put one on me and have it go straight up.”

“Paula, please think about what you’re saying.”

“Trust me, Jeff.”

Jeff narrows his eyes, but to my surprise he whips out a bottle rocket and ties it to me.

“You had better know what you’re doing,” he says.

“Keep firing at the Starman in the sky. And when I shout, activate the bottle rocket.”

He regards me with a skeptical look, but does glance back at the Starman and fire. I run closer to the main battle area, making sure to steer clear of where Ness is brawling with the never-ending waves of Starmen. The one in the sky warps around whenever Jeff shoots at it, and when I attune to its thoughts I can see where it plans to go next. I head to the spot right below its next destination.

Jeff raises his gun to fire another shot.

“Now!” I say right as he pulls the trigger.

Jeff squeezes something in his hand, and a force jerks me up. My feet leave the ground, and I rocket into the sky. Sure enough, the Starman teleports away from Jeff’s laser beam.

Right into my path.

“PSI Magnet.”

I grab onto the Starman’s leg as I activate the power. And in the same manner as with Dr. Andonuts, my vision flashes white as power floods into my body. When I regain my senses, I’m falling.

Knowing this was coming doesn’t stop me from letting out a scream.

Which doesn’t stop until a force breaks my fall, knocking the wind out of me. For a second I’m scared that the lack of pain means I hit solid ground and got injured enough for my body to shut off my pain sense entirely.

Then I see Ness’s face, and I realize I’m in his arms.

“That was stupid,” Ness says, “Even by my standards.”

“But it worked.”

Or did it? When I glance around, I can’t see the person that the Starman should be.

“Boing!”

A Mr. Saturn hops off me, and that’s when Ness sets me down on my feet. I look down at the little creature, blinking several times until it sinks in.

“The Starman was actually a Mr. Saturn?” I say.

“Well,” Jeff says, approaching us, “I guess one of them did get kidnapped to Stonehenge. Is that you, buddy?”

“Yes. Was in scary place before making Phase Distorter, zoom!”

“Well,” Ness says. “That settles that. I’m glad-”

A sensation prickles at the back of my neck. It’s similar to the crackling in the air when an enemy is about to use PSI, but the energy now seems more concentrated than anything I’ve felt before.

“Beam γ.”

A laser beam flies past me and Ness, thicker and brighter than the Starman beam attacks. It slams into Jeff, and he drops to the ground unconscious in an instant. What in the world…? No, this can only mean one thing.

And sure enough, when I turn back to the entrance to Giant’s Step I see a man and woman in their twenties, their eyes glowing purple like the thralls we encountered.

Chapter Text

As Ness runs towards Jeff’s unconscious body, the woman—Ana, Jeff called her—extends a hand towards me.

“The mistress knows your pain. I can take it away.”

And yet again, the calm returns. I am a leaf floating in the wind. I am a morning fog rolling over the blacktop. I am a pebble bouncing down a mountain. I am here, I am free, and I am detached.

I search within me to find panic at the change, only to find that I’m incapable of feeling it at all. After all, change is natural. A raindrop does not panic at becoming part of a river. Magma does not panic at churning within a volcano. It simply… is.

This is what enlightenment feels like.

Ness halts as the man—Ninten—darts towards me. In Ninten’s glowing purple eyes I can see no malice. Only emptiness, only peace. I could rip him to shreds with my PSI, but what is the point of doing so? I am not a tyrant who strikes down whomever I wish. This man is trying to help me, and I shall not struggle against what fate has in store for me.

Yet still, there is a voice inside telling me these thoughts are not my own.

Ness lets out a growl. He glances between me and Jeff before running back to me as Ninten reaches out. Using his baseball bat to brace himself against the charge, Ness leaps in front of me. Ninten grabs onto his shirt, but a shove sends him stumbling back.

Ninten whips out a small metal cylinder, and after a click sound it extends into a quarterstaff. The weapon looks light and agile, like Ness’s bat but longer and less top-heavy. Ness lunges forward, and Ninten dances back while parrying his attacks. Ness may have the strength of a raging bull, but Ninten has the serene poise of a master. His footsteps are precise enough to look like a dance routine.

And while Ninten fades away, he uses the extended range on his quarterstaff to strike Ness whenever he overextends. It’s mesmerizing, the way Ninten bends away from Ness’s threat range and waits for an overcommitment before punishing. Ness might as well be swinging his bat at a swarm of hornets.

I glance back at Ana to see that she’s standing still, psychic power pulsating from her hand as she holds it out towards me. I know that what she’s doing isn’t restraining my body. I have the physical capability to join the fight and support Ness. But I don’t have the willpower to inflict violence.

It’s strange. The lethargy and lack of emotion reminds me of depression, but this feels like the opposite in many ways. This is the emptiness of a cup about to be filled, of firewood about to light up a dark night. I am not ill. I am… complete. Transcendent.

Yet how much does it matter if it saps the willpower to help my friend all the same?

After driving Ninten back, Ness changes targets and goes for Ana. Even though my appetite for violence has disappeared, my mind is sharper than ever and able to pick out Ness’s rationale. The fact that Ana isn’t fighting means that whatever she’s doing to me requires her full concentration. If Ness can interrupt her, I’ll be back in action.

Please.

Ana doesn’t move as Ness charges, her expression calm and her glowing eyes fixated on me. As Ness brings his baseball bat down, Ninten darts in front and blocks the attack with his quarterstaff. Metal clanks against metal, and Ness reels back enough for Ninten to lash out with a kick. The force sends Ness flying, and he rolls on the ground panting. As Ninten approaches, Ness raises a hand.

“Rockin Ω.”

The ground begins to vibrate, and waves of psychic energy fly forward from Ness.

“PSI Shield Ω.”

The calm’s hold on me loosens as the words spill from Ana’s mouth. She and Ninten become covered in a rainbow sheen right as the energy waves begin to wash over them.

Shit.

Ness’s Rockin PSI bounces off of them and reflects back at us. Pain washes over me as the energy waves fly into me, and I fall to one knee.

“Not a bad technique,” Ana sends telepathically. “A fair bit better than my own PSI Shield, actually.”

Wait, did she root through my mind and learn how to use my PSI? As the pain clears, I see Ness running towards me, glowing green Lifeup energy at his fingertips.

“I’m sorry, Paula,” he says. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

With his back turned to the enemies, I see Ninten rushing towards him. I open my mouth to call out, but Ana shoves a hand towards me and the calm takes hold once again.

So I’m left to watch Ninten slam the quarterstaff down on Ness’s head. I recognize that I should offer an empathic wince at the sight of such a crushing blow, but in this state I don’t even remember how to.

Ness staggers forward, and Ninten wraps his arms around Ness. He pulls the quarterstaff in against Ness’s neck, trapping him in a headlock.

“You,” Ninten says, “Are lost and troubled like she is.”

The words are the whisper of a soft breeze, and I see Ness’s eyes widen in panic. I can even process why it should be scary to be facing down a foe who never breaks the serenity in their poise, but in my state I couldn’t feel fear even if I tried.

“The mistress,” Ninten says, “Will heal you. She knows how to fix broken little things like us.”

“Paula.” Ness reaches out towards me. “Don’t let him take me away. Please, I don’t want to-”

“4th-D Slip.”

After the words spill from Ninten’s mouth, he and Ness vanish. A part of me screams at myself to act, lingering on what Ness said. I let him go without saying anything, without doing anything. I force myself to reach out at the thoughts flying through the air.

Ana is thinking that Ness will be made a thrall and stationed at Fire Spring where nobody should be able to find him. I need to take that knowledge and get out of here.

The thought cuts off as Ana approaches step by slow step, continuing to hold out her hand. Once she gets close enough, she grabs onto my wrist.

“I will teleport,” she says, “And you will follow with me.”

Her hand clamping down on my wrist is the last jolt of sensation to break through the calm. I jerk away from her grip, and the startled look on her face tells me she wasn’t prepared for the motion. Her face returns to neutral so quickly that it reminds me how miraculous it is that I got any emotion out of her at all.

“Why are you resisting?” she says. “What life do you have to return to?”

As she speaks, the calm begins to recede. Back comes not only the anxiety, but the physical pain of having taken the full force of Ness’s PK Rockin. What life do I have to return to? I was miserable before Ness reentered my life, and I let Ninten take him away. Why is it now that I suddenly get a backbone?

Still, the question tells me that Ana’s getting desperate. I glance over to where Jeff is lying on the ground, still unconscious. Is Ana afraid that I’ll reflect the PSI back at her if she tries to do that to me?

Or is there a part of her that doesn’t want to do this?

“Go away,” I tell her. It’s all I can manage.

Ana hesitates, glowing eyes regarding me, and then she straightens her posture.

“The mistress knows you are like her,” she says. “That you are like me. If you need time to see the truth, take it. With our serenity, we can wait as long as it takes.”

Ana floats into the air, levitating several yards off the ground until she’s higher than the tops of the hill caves around us.

“We will meet again, Paula,” she says. “Teleport.”

Ana zips off into a straight line, soaring over the rock before vanishing. I sink down to my knees, looking down at my trembling fingers. Ness gone. Jeff unconscious. Pain at the edge of my vision, threatening to take me.

And I let it happen.

With a grunt, I press my palms into the ground and force myself to stand. I draw shaky breaths and take step after wobbly step towards the cave system. I couldn’t carry Jeff out of here even at full strength, so my best bet is to get back to Onett and tell the authorities what’s happening. I know Ness doesn’t trust Captain Strong, so maybe the fire department rather than the police. They should be better at rescues from remote areas anyways, right?

I take a breath. It has to start with putting one foot in front of the other.

#

I make it out of the cave alive.

There are more close calls than I’d like to admit. Once, my knees buckle near a cliff and I nearly tumble off. And then at a later rope, I lose my grip and slide down, earning myself burns along my palms and a jolt of pain going up my legs as I land. But not even the near-death experiences can leave a lasting impression. I’m exhausted, I’m in pain, and I need to make it to the nearest phone. Processing any other information can wait.

I limp back into Onett proper and tell the librarian at the desk that I need to contact the fire department about someone stranded at Giant’s Step. She purses her lips in concern, and after I give her a few more details on Jeff’s situation and condition she makes the call herself. I take a breather on a bench in the library, but all that does is make me closer to nodding off. I can trust the fire department to make sure Jeff is safe, but what am I going to do about myself?

Out of the options available to me, all leave a sour taste in my mouth. There’s the Onett hotel, but I don’t have any money on me or an ATM card to withdraw cash. I could call Ness’s mom and see if I could stay at her place, but then I’d have to explain what happened to Ness. What I let happen to him. No, I need to get him back before I face her again.

Which only leaves one choice left, loath as I am to admit it.

I head over to the library phone and dial up my home phone number. After a couple of rings, someone picks up.

“Polestar preschool.” My mom’s voice. “How can I help?”

I take a deep breath and prepare myself.

“Hi mom. It’s me.”

“Paula.” Her voice turns stern. “You are in a world of trouble when you come back home, young lady. Don’t tell me you got another devil-worshipping shirt or earrings you couldn’t let me see and had to run away in shame.”

It takes all my willpower not to hang up on her then and there. I tap on my left skull earring, letting the motion soothe me. It made my parents mad, but angering them was my choice. Better that than live under their thumb for my whole life.

The thought is hollow, and I cast it aside. For all that teenagers are supposed to think their parents are lame, I love my parents and I want them to love me too. I just don’t know if they have it in them. Oh sure, they say they do, but… well, best not to drag up old memories.

“Paula?” her voice softens. “What’s going on?”

“I’m at the Onett library. Can you or dad pick me up?”

“Right, you went missing after meeting with that Ness boy again. I thought he was a good influence on you, but after you started to act up when getting back I wondered who put those ideas in your head. Don’t tell me the two of you ran off into the woods and-”

“I need a yes or a no, mom.”

She sighs. “I’m watching the kids, but I’ll tell your father. Sit tight, okay?”

“Right.”

An awkward pause lingers between us.

“Love you,” my mom says.

Funny thing to say after throwing all those accusations at me.

“Yeah,” I say. “Love you too.”

I let out a yawn, and hang up before she can scold me for that too. Being too tired to give my parents a good explanation works in my favor here. After all, girls are supposed to be cute little things for adults to fret over.

Right now, that’s what I can be.

Chapter Text

I head outside, and a few minutes later I see my dad’s car pull up in the library parking lot. When I hop into the back seat, he studies me through the rearview mirror.

“Your mother was worried sick about you,” he says. “Try to think about what it does to us when you pull these stunts, all right?”

“You were fine letting me go off on adventure when I was twelve.”

He hesitates, and the uncertainty in his eyes tells me he wasn’t expecting me to talk back.

“That was a special time, Paula.”

“Say what you mean, dad. You liked having a daughter who was one of the chosen heroes to defeat Giygas. And now that I’m grown up, you don’t want me to save the world in the exact same way because it doesn’t look as good for you.”

“Listen.” He leans over the seat and looks at me. “Your mother asked me to come pick you up. I drove all this way for you, no questions asked. Do you want a ride back or not?”

I cut myself off from taking a jab at the monumental four-minute drive he had to make from Twoson to Onett. The truth is that in my state, I’m not sure I could walk back on my own. The reflected Rockin PSI didn’t create visible wounds, so I doubt my father realizes how much trouble I’m in.

Or he wants me to collapse on the road between Onett and Twoson. I know the thought is illogical, but lingering on that bitterness keeps me sharp enough to stay conscious.

After a minute of silence, my dad takes off and begins driving me home. As we exit Onett, he lets out a sigh.

“You used to be such a sweet girl,” he says. “Always so eager to please. What happened, Paula?”

“Will you threaten to dump me on the side of the road again if I tell you the truth?”

“Paula, I wasn’t actually going to leave you. I just… you need to show a little respect when I go out of my way to do a favor for you.”

“So you won’t throw me out?”

A pause. “I won’t.”

“What changed is that I realized what your love actually meant.”

My dad furrows his brow, but continues driving in silence.

“I almost died today protecting the world from Starmen,” I say. “And mom was less worried about that than when I got a tattoo. Not even a sleeve, and not even somewhere visible.”

“You have to cut her some slack, Paula. She couldn’t tell over the phone how bad of a shape you’re in.”

“You’re missing the point.” I pause, taking a deep breath. “When mom frets about me, it’s not about what’s actually happening to me as a person. It’s about the image. How it looks for the family. Me dying in a heroic fight against Starmen is less embarrassing for her than it is for me to get a tattoo, so she worries less about it.”

“Come on,” my dad says. “You don’t actually believe that. Your mother loves you, Paula. We both do.”

“She loves the version of me she has in her head,” I say. “And when the real me does something that breaks that image, it’s as big of a tragedy as when Carpainter kidnapped me.”

“Paula.” He runs a hand through his hair. “You can’t go around assuming the worst about her intentions. She just… wants you to be the best person you can be.”

In a way, my dad and I are saying the same thing. My mom wants me to be someone specific, and only loves me so long as I adhere to that. How much is that worth? I want her love to be real, desperately. And I do believe that she thinks she loves me. But if I need to hide who I am to receive those feelings, can I really say our relationship is genuine?

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” my dad says. “Trust me, Paula. We both want what’s best for you.”

“Funny.” I fail to keep the poison out of my voice. “That’s what you said when you threatened to throw me out of the house when I got the tattoo.”

He stiffens. “This again? I told you before, Paula, you need to get permission before doing something like that. I had to impart just how serious it is to make a permanent change to your body.”

“I was thirteen.” I lean forward in my seat. “And you acted like you were going to leave me out on the streets to starve. I was terrified.”

“I wasn’t going to actually do it.” He sounds offended. “But I needed to send a message and make sure you were taking me seriously. And you got off rather easy. Your grandfather would have actually thrown me out if I got a tattoo.”

“Don’t act like you care about my body. When I did ballet you and mom pushed me to train harder and harder until it damaged my feet. I still feel that when walking, you know.”

“Paula, we never wanted-”

“The reason a tattoo is a problem is that it’s a scandal in the making,” I say. “Some pearl-clutching parent sending their precious baby to preschool learning that the girl who watches them carved ink into her skin like those horrible hippies and thugs they hear about in the news. Fine. It’s your job to be worried about the family business. But don’t you ever act like it was about helping me.”

At this point, we’re pulling into the driveway. My dad puts the car into parking mode, turns it off, and gets out. Only after I step out into open air, wincing from the pain of walking after my fall, does he speak.

“I promise,” he says. “I did it all for you. Do you know how much work it is to raise a child, Paula? Sure, you get a taste of it from helping at the preschool, but think about all the diaper changing and cooking and driving you everywhere. You think I did that just to have a… what did you call it? A made-up image to turn you into?”

I think about the way Ness’s mom treats him, and the longing makes me wince. He can trust her with…

Well, actually. He didn’t tell her about his sexuality.

“All right,” I say. “Let’s say I tell you right now that I’m gay. Do you still love me?”

His eyes widen. “Wait. Are you?”

“No.”

The relief that crosses his face confirms my suspicions.

“But,” I say. “You proved it. That it’s never been about being happy as the person I am, and instead it’s about me acting exactly the way you want.”

“Paula.” His voice turns stern. “You can’t throw away seventeen years of love I’ve shown you just because you don’t like the answer to one question. I’m sure it feels like you’re uncovering some deep dark truths about me and your mother, but a part of you has to see how little sense you’re making.”

And the worst part of it is that I want him to be right. It’s not like I’m trying to cut my parents out of my life. All the birthday cakes and Christmas presents and fun trips to the zoo and dinners out at my favorite pizza place still have a special place in my heart. I want those events to mean something. For our squabbles to be petty and for our love to conquer all.

I am going off to college soon either way, but I know that isn’t an escape. I still need somewhere to stay for breaks, and I don’t want to think about what a Christmas season looks like without my parents in it. But I also don’t want to think about what winter break is like if they treat me like this the entire time.

We head into the house and I go straight to my room, shutting myself in and flopping on the ground. A part of me still feels bad about what I’m doing to my parents. From their perspective, I’ve been antagonizing them for years by dressing like a punk, and now I chew my dad out after he goes out of his way to pick me up from the Onett library.

Am I just a stupid, rebellious teenager who needs another five years to see that her parents were right all along?

Shaking my head, I force myself up off the floor and head over to the bathroom. I need a shower and a rest after that fight, no matter how painful the hot water will be on my blistering palms.

#

The rest of the day is uneventful, and I wake up the next morning with my injuries gone. I’m still not sure why the four of us can heal so quickly, considering it can’t be PSI-related in Jeff’s case. But I’m not complaining. I’ll need every ounce of strength I can get to rescue Ness.

When I head downstairs and make breakfast, my mom emerges and regards me with a frown and hands on her hips as soon as she sees me.

“I heard about how you talked back to your father,” she says. “You are in a heap of trouble now, young lady. You’re not allowed to leave the house today.”

I finish making my sandwich and shove it into my mouth fast enough that I know it will bother her. The way she winces when I bite off half the sandwich at once gives me a spark of petty joy. After I’m done eating, I head for the door.

“Did you not hear what I just said?” my mom shouts in my direction.

Against my better judgment, I glance over my shoulder and regard her.

“I heard you fine,” I say, “But I’m ignoring you.”

Her brow furrows. “Paula. What’s gotten into you? I know you’re trying to be rebellious, but you were never this bad before.”

“Ness got captured by Starmen. His life is in danger.” I whirl around so I’m facing her. “And you want me to worry about being fucking grounded? You were so happy to see your precious little girl go on an adventure five years ago. But you never cared about the people I was trying to help, did you?”

My mom recoils back. “I didn’t know about Ness. You need to tell me these things instead of acting obstinate, Paula.”

“You knew I went off with Ness, and I came back bloody and bruised. What did you think happened, mom? That we were frolicking in flower fields all day?”

She sputters, and while she searches for her words I keep going.

“You chose to assume that nothing bad was actually happening,” I say, “And that I’m ignoring you to be difficult because it lets you play the victim. Everything I do from my jeans to my earrings to saving the life of my best friend just has to be an attack on you.”

I know that bit is unfair, that I was more confrontational about leaving than I had to be, and that I did adjust my style in part to spite her. But after wallowing in a pit of oscillating hatred at myself, my parents, and the society that judges me for expressing myself, I have a path forward. Ness is in danger, and I don’t have patience for all the petty little squabbles that consumed my life for five long years.

“Listen,” I say. “I do love you, mom. And I want things to be better between us. But Ness needs me right now, and I’m not going to let my best friend get possessed by Starmen because you want me to stay cooped up here. Get as angry as you want that I’m not leaving my friend to the wolves, and we’ll talk about it when I get back. Goodbye.”

Without waiting for a response, I walk out of the front door. And when I do, I’m startled by Jeff and Tracy standing on the doorstep. Jeff looks no worse for wear after what happened yesterday.

“Jeff.” I close the door behind me. “Thank god you’re okay. You should have called me.”

“I did. Your mom didn’t seem keen on helping to coordinate our next steps, so I decided to show up in person.” A pause. “I should have mentioned this before, but I do have healing items on me, including revival herbs. In case this happens again.”

I grimace as the weight of my own stupidity hits me. This could have gone so much smoother if I had only thought to check the items Jeff was carrying after the fight.

“I don’t blame you,” Jeff says. “The people who saw you at the library said that you looked bad. And you’ll have to tell me the full story at some point, but I know the thralls have been trying to mess with your mind. It’s a wonder you’re able to be as on top of things as you are with all that chaos.”

“Thanks, Jeff. You’re… thoughtful.”

The corners of his mouth quirk up. “You sound surprised by that. Have I been making fun of Ness too much?”

Tracy snorts. “No amount of making fun is ever enough where he’s concerned.”

“Speaking of Ness,” I say. “He’s-”

“Missing,” Tracy says. “We’re not idiots, Paula.”

“Abducted by the Starman forces, I take it?” Jeff says.

I clench my fists and nod. It’s one thing to lack the strength to save him. It’s another experience entirely to have my mind twisted so I didn’t want to protect him, even as he pleaded with me.

“Great,” Tracy says. “Jeff and I figured out how to get him back. You’re hired, Paula. Congrats on your new job. Starting today, you’re a part time worker at Escargo Express.”

I blink. “What?”

“Let’s head to the bus station,” Jeff says. “We can explain along the way.”

Jeff and Tracy start to walk off, and I’m left to shake the surprise out of my system and follow. Whatever they have in mind, I’ll do anything to get Ness back.  

Chapter Text

As I run to catch up with Jeff and Tracy, I sift through what I learned from Ana. If we’re going to save Ness, we all need to be on the same page.

“I was able to tap into Ana’s thoughts,” I say. “She thought Ness was going to be turned into a thrall and taken to the Fire Spring.”

Jeff nods. “That’s good to confirm. I wasn’t looking forward to guessing between there and Lumine Hall if it came to that.”

I frown. We’ve been to four sanctuaries so far, so doesn’t that make two more we’re missing?

“I figured that they were going to station him at one of the sanctuaries we haven’t been to,” Jeff says. “My father and I agree that they seem to be amassing power from the sanctuaries, so they’ll want to use ones they haven’t hit yet.”

“And Escargo has eyes on Fourside,” Tracy says. “Most of our international shipping goes out of there, so I asked them to check on Magnet Hill. It looks like Ana is guarding that one.”

Narrowing us down to three.

“What about Pink Cloud?” I say.

“Well, Dalaam is our first stop,” Jeff says. “Escargo Express has aircraft that Tracy convinced the bigwigs to let us use, but that won’t be enough to get us to Lumine Hall or Fire Spring quickly enough. So we decided to stop by Dalaam and catch up with Poo. If we explain the situation to him, I bet he’ll join us.”

And then Poo can teleport us to the Lost Underworld, where we can reach Ness.

“Didn’t Ness mention that we’re not supposed to be in Dalaam without approval?” I say.

“And that’s where your new job comes in,” Tracy says. “Employees don’t need work visas so long as they’re not actually living in Dalaam. You’ll even get to skip through customs, so no need to bring your passport.”

So we enter Dalaam as official part-time workers at Escargo Express, which gives us the freedom to move around and search for Poo. I’m a bit worried about him not returning Ness’s calls, but I bet it will be easier to get a hold of him once we’re in there in person.

“Smart thinking,” I say. “Thanks, Tracy.”

“Just tell Ness that he owes me big time for this.”

“No offense, Tracy,” Jeff says, “But I don’t exactly think it was your influence making this work.”

Tracy huffs, crossing her arms. “Okay, but Ness doesn’t need to know that.”

I look between the two of them until Jeff catches the confusion on my face.

“Geldegarde Monotoli is now an executive at Escargo Express,” Jeff says. “He was planning a business trip to Dalaam anyways, and given that he owes us big time for…”

“For kidnapping me.” The words come out harsher than I intend.

“Err, right. He was happy to assist.” Jeff pasues. “Are you going to be okay seeing him again, Paula?”

I’m not even mad at Monotoli. I mean, sure, there’s the angle of him being influenced by Giygas, but even without that element it was my responsibility to keep myself safe. I could have defended myself against that monster if I hadn’t shut down at the first sign of being separated from Ness.

I take a deep breath. I won’t go out the same way again. This time, it’s Ness who needs me. Sure, that’s because he took the fall for my weakness yesterday, but I can’t mope when I’m in a position to fix this mess.

“I’ll be all right,” I say.

We arrive at the bus stop, and Jeff sits down at the bench while Tracy positions herself to break apart from us.

“So that’s the plan,” Tracy says. “You take the bus to Fourside and meet up with Monotoli. And even if it wasn’t my sway over Escargo that helped you out, at least tell Ness that I was the one who put Jeff in contact with Monotoli.”

“That I can do,” Jeff says, an amused smile spreading across his face. “Thanks for the help, Tracy.”

I sit down next to him, looking up at the fluffy white clouds lounging in the autumn sky. The bus to Fourside arrives soon after, and we get seats that give us some space from the other passengers. I take the window seat and stare out at the fields of grass as the bus heads over to Threed. It isn’t until we hit the desert—no traffic jam this time, thank goodness—that Jeff speaks up.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

I glance over to see him studying me like I’m a math problem.

“About?” I say.

“When Monotoli kidnapped you right under our noses, Ness was wracked with guilt. And at least he had me to share the blame. I know that you’re five years older,” he pauses, “And were probably more mature even at the time, but a friend getting taken from right in front of you isn’t an easy thing to accept.”

Of course Jeff sees through me. And since we don’t need to focus on strategy, there’s no excuse to avoid talking about it. I tell Jeff what Ana did to my mind, and my struggles getting out of Giant’s Step afterwards. I cut myself off before I can start venting about what happened with my parents last night and this morning.

“That does sound hard to come to terms with,” Jeff says. “And it’s easy to blame yourself if it’s your mind that refused to help instead of your body, even if you weren’t in control. Why don’t you ask Poo about it when we see him?”

I frown. “Why Poo in particular?”

“I mean, he’s a monk who understands that whole meditative emptiness enlightenment jazz. Worth a shot, at least.”

Now that Jeff mentions it, the state Ana and the other thralls put me in did feel meditative.

Wait, the other thralls.

“What happened to the Mr. Saturn?” I say.

“Oh, you didn’t know? He’s fine. Decided to hang out at Ness’s place, and my dad will pick him up sooner or later and take him back to Saturn Valley.”

I didn’t even see him leave Giant’s Step, though I guess I was busy being forced into meditation by Ana.

“On that note, I have some thoughts on the Mr. Saturns, Starmen, and PSI that we should discuss at some point. But it shouldn’t be relevant until we get Ness back, so I’ll leave it until we’re all together.”

That sounds ominous, though I suppose anything dealing with the Starmen isn’t exactly sunshine and roses. There’s a lot we still don’t know about why they’re active now, but I agree that the chat can wait until Ness is safe. Until then, I won’t be able to focus on anything else.

We head through the tunnel and across the suspension bridge into Fourside, where the bus drops us off. I remember being intimidated by the skyscrapers and department stores when I first arrived here with Ness and Jeff, but now it’s refreshing the way so many people pass each other on the street that none of them notice us.

“What do you know,” I say. “The city’s big enough to mask me being a weirdo.”

Jeff snorts. “Yeah, your style is pretty tame, all things considered. The people who made a big deal about your hair and earrings on public broadcast must have been real desperate for a news story.”

Funnily enough, the image of them being desperate to get something, anything out on air does amuse me enough to take the edge off some of the bitterness. Which is good, since I can’t have my mind stuck on my own personal sob story when we’re here to work with Monotoli and save Ness.

We make our way to the Monotoli building, and the clerk tells us we can head straight to his private office in the top floor. Only a couple minutes later, we exit the elevator and walk through the ornate wooden double doors into the spacious office of the man himself. Same gaudy carpet with alternating squares of gold and dark gold, and same full-sized stuffed bear by the door.

Geldegarde Monotoli gets up from his desk piled high with paperwork and greets us with handshakes. With Jeff he’s confident, but his gaze falters and he hesitates before approaching me. I shake his hand all the same, watching his shoulders relax when I do. Why is he the nervous one here?

“Pleasure to see you both again,” Monotoli says. “Erm, you like you are in good health, Miss Paula.”

“Better than last night after fighting Starmen, I’ll say that much.”

“So they really have returned.” He clears his throat. “Well then. There is no time to waste. Are you ready to head to Dalaam? We can take my private helicopter.”

“And you’re certain Pokey isn’t around to steal this one too?” I say.

Monotoli lets out a nervous chuckle. “Given that nobody has seen heads nor tails of him for the past five years, that would be quite the surprise.”

It’s been years since I thought about Pokey. After his note to Ness, I wonder if he’s involved in this situation, but the thralls did call their leader “mistress” and I can’t see him partaking in the whole forceful meditation thing.

“Don’t you worry, though,” Monotoli says. “This helicopter has all the amenities we’ll need for the flight. A restroom, food-”

“Food as in trout-flavored yogurt?” I say.

“There are numerous options for snacks and meals. Shall we be off?”

Jeff agrees, and I decide that anything else I can say to Monotoli here and now is a waste of time. Verbal japs aren’t going to get Ness back, after all.

We head out to the landing pad that extends out from Monotoli’s office, and sure enough there’s no Pokey to be found. We all load in, and the pilot takes off soon after. Soon we’re high enough that all of Eagleland looks like a miniature set, polished and painted to perfection.

“No offense,” I say, turning to Jeff, “But this helicopter seems a lot better than those Sky Runners Dr. Andonuts had. Why did he bother reinventing the wheel?”

“Because inventors are silly little creatures who make duds most of the time. Thought you’d spent enough time around me to know that.”

And for all of my curtness with Monotoli, the amenities are quite nice. The three of us enjoy a large meat and cheese plate together while he updates us on the plan. Essentially, we’re going to be acting as his aides, and he’s going to send us to do market research by asking around on the ground. That gives us free reign to look for Poo.

“I’ve been wondering,” Jeff says. “You do have to pay us for this, right? Like we’re official employees and everything.”

“I… suppose I do.”

“Sweet.” Jeff leans back in his seat. “I could get used to this lifestyle. No wonder so many people with math and science backgrounds become corporate engineers.”

The flight is shorter than I expect, and a couple hours later we touch down in Dalaam. Even though I’ve been here before, it’s hard not to marvel at the how high up we are.

“Crazy that we can literally walk through clouds here, huh?” I say.

“I mean, that’s what fog is at ground level. There’s plenty of that in Winters.”

…And of course Jeff has to be a killjoy about it.

Monotoli begins talking with some palace officials, and tells us to perform our market research duties. We have free reign to go anywhere in Dalaam, even the main halls of the palace, which Jeff suggest we check out first.

“Remember, our dear Prince Poo was quite a ladies’ man,” Jeff says. “Let’s look for girls his age and see what they have to say.”

“Wonder which one has more fangirls between him and Ness,” I say.

“Must be nice.” Jeff lets out a wistful sigh. “Nice as in I’m completely joking and it sounds terrible, actually. Nobody gives me special treatment and it’s great.”

I’m tempted to tease him about being jealous, but the more I think about it the more I agree. We’re all trying to live our lives, and we’re not the same people we were when we saved the world. Jeff being allowed to chase his passions without anyone tracking where he’s going or what he’s doing is a better deal than the three of us got.

I wonder if that was part of why I leaned into shattering my own image. I don’t know if being undesirable actually helped me avoid attention from pushy boys, but it felt like a way of taking a stand on the matter.

Luckily for us, it’s not hard to find girls gossiping about Poo in Dalaam’s palace. And when we mention that we’re Poo’s friends, they launch into telling us their woes without being prompted. According to multiple eyewitness accounts, Poo has been holed away in the Pink Cloud sanctuary for days without telling anyone what he was doing. They all assume he’s off meditating, but when I exchange a glance at Jeff I can see the same thought crossed his mind.

If Poo is off on his own by a sanctuary, it’s possible that the Starman forces turned him into a thrall as well.

Chapter Text

After finding out that Monotoli is already in some important meeting nobody’s supposed to disturb, we decide to head out towards the Pink Cloud sanctuary on our own. Heading downhill to the south of Dalaam, we reach the entrance to the cave. No weird rabbit statues to block our way this time, so we’re good to go in.

It’s only once we enter that I remember the horrible maze layout of the cave. Having to fall through holes in the ground to reach lower levels is fine when the energy in the air slows our descent and prevents us from being harmed, but the way back up involves more ropes. The first time, we end up at the very bottom of the cave, and by the time I’m back to the entrance I need to take a several minute breather to shake off the soreness in my arms before I can climb back up again.

“Okay, with Giant’s Step we had the excuse of not having been there before,” I say, “But since you’re the genius here, shouldn’t you remember how to get through this one?”

“Believe it or not,” Jeff says, “But math and experimental setup are different skillsets than a photographic memory.”

“Sounds like being a prodigy scientist isn’t worth much.”

“Excuse you.” He pushes his glasses up. “Trials and experiments are how we understand the world. That can be applied to any situation.”

“Great. So what does that wisdom tell you to do now?”

“We keep going down paths until we find the right one.”

I let out a groan. At least Jeff is a good sport, and once my arms feel a little less numb we continue going down the different passageways. Turns out that the correct path is the way we initially went, except we need to keep heading in further instead of dropping through the last hole. I swear I’m going to PSI Thunder the person who designed this cave system.

As with Giant’s Step, the exit to the sanctuary is unguarded. Jeff and I take a breather while we’re still in the cave, and he gives me some of his healing items. Without Ness we don’t have Lifeup or Healing PSI to get us out of sticky situations, but honestly I’m less concerned about running out of healing items than I am getting overwhelmed and not having the time to heal. Ness bought so much space for us in these fights and has the vitality of a raging elephant. Without him present, we’re vulnerable to getting rushed down.

I lead the way out onto Pink Cloud, stepping out onto the fluffy ground to see Poo levitating a few feet off the ground surrounded by a group of six Starmen that look like they’re guarding him. Poo’s eyes are closed, but the floating and the way the Starmen regard him as one of their own tells me he’s a thrall.

Shit. How are we going to fight Poo and the Starmen without access to consistent healing?

Before I can back off and regroup, the Starmen look my way and burst into action. I put a PSI shield on us—the Σ version that doesn’t reflect attacks, since I don’t want to put Poo in danger. Sure enough, Starstorm PSI from the Starmen washes over us, nullified by my PSI shield.

Jeff fires off a multi bottle rocket that annihilates one of the starmen on the spot, reducing their count to five.

“You still haven’t learned to aim those at multiple targets?” I shout his way.

“Not without setting each one off individually. Keep your head in the game, Paula.”

Right. I unleash a Freeze Ω on one of them, and Jeff follows up with a shot from his heavy bazooka to finish that one off. The remaining four Starmen fire beams at me and Jeff, sending us staggering back.

“We need to think about pulling back,” Jeff says.

“If you retreat now, they will call more Starmen to this place. You must proceed.”

Poo’s voice. I whip my gaze towards him and see that he’s continuing to float still, Sword of Kings slung across his back and hands in his lap. He hasn’t made a move to attack us, but then again the Starman that the Mr. Saturn transformed into was on the passive side as well. It’s possible that Poo’s voice is being used to manipulate me.

“Paula?” Jeff says.

I grimace as another beam flies into me. “We keep going. Can’t let them call more Starmen in.”

Jeff nods, his expression hardening. Even though I know his agreement is a matter of practicality—no point arguing on the battlefield when every second counts—I’m still surprised at the faith he’s putting in my judgment. Let’s hope it’s not misplaced.

Three of the remaining four Starmen are grouped in a line, and I unleash a Fire Ω at them. Jeff takes another heavy bazooka shot, which softens them up but doesn’t kill. These things are tougher than the regular Starmen we fought during our adventure, to the point that I’m horrified at what a Final Starman or Ghost of Starman could look like under the control of this “mistress.”

More beam attacks put us down to our last legs. Jeff roots around in his bag for a healing item, but the next laser knocks him out. I let out a shout of alarm as his limp body rolls across Pink Cloud, mere feet from falling off the edge and plummeting down below. I run towards him, rooting around in my own supplies for one of the revival herbs he gave me.

“Attack the wounded Starmen. Please, trust me on this.”

I grimace. As much as I don’t want to admit it, if I get Jeff back up the Starmen will focus fire on both of us and knock us out together. In this case, the only way out is through.

“Fire Ω.”

A wall of flames incinerates the three injured Starmen as they approach, and I let myself bask in the heat of the inferno. I may be wobbly and disoriented from pain, but no soulless alien is going to stop me from getting to my friend.

After the fire dies down, the last Starman sets its eyeless gaze on me. I know I don’t have enough time to use another power, which means I’m hoping for a low probability miss on its part. I tense myself, ready for the attack to come.

That’s when Poo bursts into action, unslinging the Sword of Kings and lunging at the Starman. His eyes remain closed for the entire time as his blade slices across the Starman’s body in a flurry of strokes.

The Starman goes down, but not before getting off one last shot. A flash of pain tells me that the laser hit, and I can tell that the blow is enough to knock me out. With the few seconds I have remaining, I root around in my supplies for-

“Paula.” Poo stretches out a hand. “I cannot use PSI without ceding control. Please, take this energy from me.”

I fight through the panic and grab onto his hand. Using PSI is faster than eating a healing item, so there’s a better chance of this working before I collapse.

“PSI Magnet.”

My vision flashes white with power once again, and this time when it fades after several seconds my wounds are healed and my life force is no longer draining away. Poo is already over to where Jeff’s body is, hair whipping in the wind.

“Healing Ω.”

Jeff blinks awake, and rises with a groan. Poo glances over his shoulder at me.

“Thank you, Paula. It seems I am even further in your debt.”

His voice is as calm and steady as ever. So calm, in fact, that it reminds me of what the thralls sound like when using telepathy on me.

“You were possessed,” I say. “But you didn’t attack us.”

“Mu training has its benefits.” Poo looks back towards the cave. “I can tell there’s a story behind how you ended up here without Ness, but I should let the palace know I am okay first. Are you okay to teleport back there?”

“And avoid more climbing? Yes please.”

The corners of Poo’s mouth quirk up. “On second thought, maybe you should go back there on foot to get back into shape.”

“Not everyone has your freakish discipline,” Jeff says. “If everyone were like you, humanity never would have even invented the bicycle.”

“I can’t argue with that one. Let us be off then, before you invent an entire new class of vehicle out of junk parts to avoid walking a quarter mile in this one instance. Teleport β.”

After we pick up momentum, we fly off and arrive back at Dalaam’s palace. Jeff and I are happy to sit on a couch inside while Poo alerts the palace staff about his return, and when Poo returns a few minutes later I don’t want to leave the comfort of the cushions.

“I can see that you’re settled,” Poo says, “And I won’t take that little creature comfort away from you.”

“Creature comfort?” Jeff says, shaking his head. “The monk lifestyle is corrupting your mind.”

“As is your tinkering, seeing as how you’re still working on bottle rockets. But while we’re busy… what is the term you use? Losing braincells? Yes, while we are busy losing braincells, we develop useful combat skills from our lifestyles. And given that Ness isn’t with you, we might need them. What happened?”

I relay the main events that happened, from the Starman attacking the school bus to Ness getting taken and our path to Dalaam. Poo takes in every word with uncanny focus, his gaze not even moving to acknowledge the court ladies who stop and gawk at him.

“I see,” Poo says. “A heroic sacrifice does sound like the kind of stunt Ness would pull. And as usual, we’re left to clean up his mess. Good thing that it sounds like our next steps are simple. Off to the Lost Underworld.” He pauses, frowning. “After you two work up the energy, that is.”

“Why do I feel like you’re always judging me for needing to chill out every now and then?” Jeff says.

“Because you always look for something to argue about when you’re cranky, so you assume the worst about me.”

I suppress a smile. Guess Jeff isn’t the only one who’s been refining his roasts over the last five years.

“Though given your propensity for enjoying earthly delights,” Poo says, “A trait unfortunately shared by many in the royal court of Dalaam, you may be interested to learn that there is going to be a grand feast for my return soon, with whatever food they can whip up in the next hour or so. That could be your chance to… recharge, so to speak.” Poo frowns. “Even your expressions treat your bodies like machines. And you think my lifestyle is strange.”

“A feast sounds great,” Jeff says. “So good, in fact, that I’ll even let that last comment slide.”

I also don’t bother hiding my excitement at free food—good free food at that—and before I know it I’m sitting in a banquet hall filled with dumplings and extravagant rice dishes. Jeff and I pile our plates high, and we wolf down our heaping servings of food in mere minutes.

“You two eat like pigs,” Poo says. “Relax. The food will still be there five minutes from now.”

I glance over to see Poo with a simple bowl of rice gruel. I can’t even smell it from here, but remembering the scent from our adventures together nearly makes me gag.

“Well,” Jeff says, “This little piggy is going to get seconds. Oink oink, bitch.”

I stiffen when the comment draws stern looks from Dalaamian nobles, but Poo only smiles in response. After Jeff leaves, he sets down his bowl of gruel.

“I keep forgetting how much I miss Jeff and Ness until I see them,” Poo says. “Being treated as just another friend to argue with over meaningless little things is wonderful.”

Yeah, I guess Jeff’s attitude could be refreshing after dealing with serious monks and fangirls day after day.

“And I’ve missed you as well, Paula,” Poo says. “It is unbecoming for a Dalaamian monk to be desperate for another’s presence, but it’s been a long five years without seeing one of my closest friends.”

“I…” should I apologize or thank him? “I missed you too.”

Poo studies me, and I remember that he probably had no idea about my change in style before now. The way he assesses me makes me feel naked, and I shy away by impulse.

“Ah, my apologies,” Poo says. “Ness mentioned how poorly your people treated you over harmless self-expression. I didn’t mean to remind you of that.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking about?”

“It’s not telepathy, if that’s what you’re implying. The three of you are rather open books. I quite appreciate that about all of you.” Poo flashes a quick smile. “And it’s clear you have something on your mind. Something for my ears and not Jeff’s.”

It isn’t even until he mentions it that I remember what I was supposed to ask.

“The thralls,” I say. “They’ve been communicating with me and showing me that… state you were in. It felt like deep meditation.”

Poo’s brow creases. “Yes, it rather does. Quite the surprise. Or rather, what would have been surprise if I were not in a state of emptiness.”

“And they’ve admitted they want to do that to me,” I say. “But you were able to resist it. Thanks to your training, you said.”

“To an extent. Reality-warping PSI can’t be negated through sheer willpower, but all PSI deals with the mind. Controlling yourself prevents others from controlling you.”

“Can you teach me?”

Poo cocks his head, and then offers a tentative nod.

“Really?” I say. “I assumed you were going to tell me that it takes years to master this kind of thing.”

“It does,” Poo says. “But you don’t need to master it. Even slowing it down for a second or two could make the difference between life and death. After the banquet, I’ll take you outside and give you the run down.”

Poo takes a bite of his rice gruel, and then looks back at me.

“And I know this may be culturally insensitive with body image expectations placed on girls where you live,” he says, “But this kind of thing really does work better when you are not stuffed with food. Please at least try to pace yourself so you know when you’re full.”

I let out a laugh. “Good thing Jeff’s here to make me look disciplined by comparison, then. All right, I’ll do my best to restrain myself.”

Chapter Text

Turns out Jeff wants to stay at the banquet for as long as possible to gorge himself, so after I’m done eating Poo and I head out to the south of Dalaam. We approach the cave to Pink Cloud, but turn east instead of west and are confronted by a massive natural spire jutting up to the highest point in Dalaam.

And the way up? More ropes.

“Please don’t tell me you want me to climb up there,” I say.

Poo looks back at me, smirking. “Perhaps that should be your first challenge. But I can assist you here. I will climb up each rope, and then help pull you up as you walk up the wall.”

I grumble some more, but I was the one who asked for this and Poo is going out of his way to make it easier for me. He doesn’t even wait for my verbal agreement before heading up and holding his hands at the top of the first rope, ready to pull. It’s a lot easier with his strength aiding me, and we make it to the top of the spire with no issue at all.

The wind is even stronger than Pink Cloud, so fierce that I worry it will make me stumble and trip off the edge. Poo sits down with legs crisscrossed, and I follow his example. Still, with the wind and high altitude chill, I can’t help but rub my arms.

“Before we begin,” Poo says. “I should preface the lesson by saying that the Mu spirituality has been used to commit genocide in the past.”

I blink. This is not how I was expecting a lesson on meditation to go.

“But how?” I say. “Aren’t monks supposed to be… I don’t know, peaceful?”

“And you’ve felt the emptiness the Starmen carry within themselves. Does that keep them peaceful?”

I don’t have an answer for that.

“It was not Dalaam itself that carried out the ethnic cleansing,” Poo says, “But one of the lowland areas nearby that adopted our spirituality. Religious differences with neighbors were the political basis for an invasion and slaughter.” He shakes his head. “An oversimplification of a tragedy too large to comprehend, of course, but my point is this. Any religion or spirituality can be used to uplift or oppress depending on how the ideas are implemented. Remember that as we move forward.”

That’s going to linger with me for a while. I saw the Starman violence within their emotionless state as an alien attribute of them, but it’s different now that I know humans have behaved in similar ways towards each other.

“Now onto the lessonitself,” Poo says. “I’ve talked a bit about Mu before, and the emptiness it represents. But today, we’re taking a different angle. There is a concept within Mu that roughly translates as ‘flow.’ Did the thralls mention it?”

I frown. “I think they did.”

Poo nods. “It is important to understand. Mu is about passivity, about nothingness, but it is also about motion. Freedom.”

“Passivity and motion sound like opposites.”

“That is a common opinion of Eaglelanders. We do not see it that way. In fact, the passivity of Mu often gets misapplied in foreign contexts. For example, you know quite well the social pressures facing young girls. And in Eagleland, a girl is considered passive if she follows those conventions and yields to those pressures.”

Oh boy, do I know a thing or to about that.

“But that is not true passivity,” Poo says. “It involves choosing to stay within a cage, such as feeling like you must go out of your way to apply a time-consuming makeup routine every day. The passive sage instead bends away from this pressure.”

I frown. “Bends?”

“You accept the expectations, the judgement, but you do not act to follow them for their own sake. You do not struggle, you do not assimilate. You simply… flow.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t put on makeup and try not to care when people call me ugly.”

Poo smirks. “You can take it that way if you like. That is but one example, and of course it is not my place to control your daily routine. But the principle remains the same. Societal pressure is like a raging river. Struggling against it is like swimming upstream. It is the easiest way to drown.”

Like dyeing my hair and wearing skull earrings and ripped jeans just to annoy people. Because this isn’t actually the style I want, because I was trying to resist without thinking about how to live my life, it all feels so pointless now.

“Instead, you float with it. The water moves with you, and it does not claim you. In passive motion, you are free. Are you with me?”

“I think so.”

“Analogies of motion are key to the idea of the flow. You are a breath of air. Passive, aimless, yet the air around us can cause storms that level cities. You are a leaf floating in the wind, swaying and fragile yet carrying the nutrients to raise new life from the ground. You are the sun, following the path gravity sets out for you by bending space, yet having the nuclear might of turning matter into energy. You are power, but you are not the hand that wields it to conquer or oppress. Instead, you observe the world. You bend and flow along the path it creates for you. That is where strength comes from.”

Thinking over his words, I look back on the past five years consumed with bitterness. I was torn between being the sweet little angel Eagleland wanted to see and a devil who spat in the face of its values. But what if all along, there was a third option? An ability to live my live my life how I want within a broken system. The ability to resist not by fighting, but by surviving.

I really was swimming upstream. No wonder I felt so alone.

“Dalaamian Mu is a spirituality of contradictions,” Poo says. “You remain passive by moving. And by relinquishing power and ambition, you gain control. That is what I held onto during our quest to fight Gigyas. The world forced me down a difficult path filled with traps and monsters. I was near helpless at the start, needing to rely on my companions to protect and nurture me. Thank you for your aid in teaching me elemental PSI, by the way.”

“Oh. Yeah, any time.” I frown. “I didn’t think you struggled with self-esteem like I did at the start when I was holding Ness back.”

“In Dalaam we are more… internal about that sort of thing. And I was able to come to terms with it. I cannot change the situation I am in. I cannot change where it is pushing me. What I can do is focus on following the flow.”

He pauses, gathers his thoughts, and continues.

“What Mu spirituality asks of us is no more and no less than what we do with our bodies. We do not have to convince anyone that our way is right. We do not have to resist and fight them until only our view remains. We do not have to accept the ways of others as correct. We simply hold true to our path. That is something we can always do, and so we always have control.”

“And what if that path ends in your death?” I ask. “What if fate had Giygas defeat us?”

“Then my task is the same. If we are fated to lose, then running away from my destination is useless. I must follow the road where it leads. So long as I do that, my life is meaningful. And it is not something anyone can ever take from me.”

The more I listen to Poo, the clearer his words become. Bending and flowing with my path, being passive, it doesn’t mean obeying the whims of my parents and societal pressures like I thought. It means accepting that I don’t have the power to change their minds, that I shouldn’t have the power to make them believe exactly what I want when I want. They are part of the world that’s pushing me, and I need to let that take me along the road of life instead of staying still to be chewed up and spat out.

“That’s… helpful,” I say. “Really. Um, but does it help me resist Starman influence?”

“We’re getting there. Sometimes the flow leads us in roundabout ways.” Poo flashes an impish smile. “And I don’t get many opportunities to wax philosophical about this. Thanks for bearing with me, Paula.”

He clears his throat, and his face returns to neutral.

“Now,” Poo says. “We’ll achieve that meditative state for you. And once you can control it yourself, the thralls won’t be able to push you around with it. I do have to warn you that this will be a little… intense. What I will do is a lighter version of what I went through, but I prepared for years instead of hearing some monk yap at me for fifteen minutes.”

“You think I’m ready?”

Poo nods. “I do. Much more so than Ness or Jeff, in fact. After all, it was you who pierced through Giygas’s darkness and connected us back to the flow of the world. I believe that feelings of spirituality and faith are connected across different philosophies and religions. Your skills should serve you well here.”

“And what if I haven’t been in touch with that spirituality at all in the last five years?”

“Your path may have taken you to a dark place, but that does not mean the road you walked before no longer exists. It is a part of you, Paula. I can help you bring it out.”

I exhale. “Then I’m ready.”

“Close your eyes.”

I follow Poo’s instructions.

“I will take away your legs,” Poo says. “Do you accept this?”

“Yes.”

It’s strange how naturally the answer comes to me. After all, I fought so hard over these past five years not to let anyone control me. But if Poo’s going to lead me through this, why struggle and make it harder for myself?

And after the thought finishes, I realize I can’t feel my legs anymore. Like I’m a genie floating right above the ground.

“Now,” Poo says. “I will take away your arms. Do you accept this?”

“Yes.”

As before, I lose feeling in my arms. And instead of being alarming, it’s… soothing. Like I can feel the rest of my body more now that my limbs no longer exist.

“Next I will take your ears. Do you accept this?”

“Yes.”

The world goes silent. All the sounds I didn’t even know I was processing are now gone, leaving me with only my pristine self. I’ve never known peace like this my entire life.

“Now I will take your eyes. Do you accept this?”

Telepathy, a sensation purer than any physical sound could be. It’s like every noise I’ve ever heard before in my life is accompanied by an annoying buzz that I’m only now realizing there’s an alternative to.

Yes, I accept it. I say the word aloud, though I do not hear it.

Then my vision fades. I wasn’t expecting a difference since my eyes were already closed, but there’s a big difference between looking at dark eyelids and nothing at all. Instead of black, there is the void. Colorless, but neither light nor dark.

“Finally, I will take your mind. Do you accept this?”

Yes, I do.

Then there is nothing. No thought, no processing. And within that nothing is everything. This is it. Serenity. I am the vacuum of space, bathing in galaxies. So much larger than this world, its gravity, its atmosphere. Empty, yet containing all there is.

I am the entire universe.

Within the nothingness, I open myself up and take the stars within me.

Starstorm α.

My senses return to me, and my eyes flash open to see Starstorm PSI energy meteors falling towards Poo. I hop to my feet and let out a shout of alarm, but the meteors dissipate harmlessly around him.

“Now that I was not expecting,” Poo says. “Congratulations on learning PSI Starstorm, Paula. You’ve felt the emptiness within Starmen, and now you can harness their greatest power for yourself.”

“I… I almost hurt you.”

“Starstorm targets enemies only. I am not your enemy. I was never in any danger.”

“It’s really that simple for you?”

“No.” Poo regards me. “It’s that simple for you, Paula. You were in charge of where the stars went.”

“But I…” I take a deep breath. “I wasn’t directing it.”

“Of course you weren’t. When you enter the nothingness, you cannot choose your path. But it is yours, and you attuned to its flow. What you were thinking or trying matters not. It is only when you are not thinking, when you are not trying, that you are in control. That is the secret.”

I sit back down. “This is making my head hurt.”

Poo smiles. “It’s a lot for one day. Hold onto the emptiness and the flow. They are yours. And when the Starmen thralls try to force their own serenity on your mind, you can bend away and let your passivity prevent them from grabbing hold.”

“That’s what you did?”

Poo nods. “Like I said, it’s not perfect. And the further I go into nothingness, the harder it is to actually fight back. Which is why I was floating there when you found me, and why I did not assist until the pressure of six Starmen was reduced to one.”

And given the timeframe of when he went missing, he held that meditation for days without letting them in. I can’t even imagine doing that, but I also don’t need to hold out for days. Like Poo mentioned, even an extra second could mean the difference between victory and defeat.

“Let us head back to the palace,” Poo says. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” I say. “I’m worried that I’m now that one white girl who tries to solve all of her problems with eastern mysticism.”

“Mm.” Warm amusement enters his eyes. “That does happen, but it’s simply another expectation that you must flow around. Besides, you’re not misappropriating my culture. You’re learning from a friend. And while I am not one to lose myself in the throes of emotion…”

He takes a deep breath and rests a hand on me knee, grinning at me.

“It makes me happy to share this part of my life with you, Paula. Even in Dalaam, not many can follow exactly what it is that I do. Think of it as my equivalent of Jeff showing off his new inventions or Ness talking about his favorite baseball teams. I appreciate your attention more than you can know.”

Poo’s earnest smile is the final piece of the puzzle that fits into place. Even a monk following this path while rejecting earthly pleasures still has a soft spot in his heart for friends.

I can accept the emptiness and flow, use it to ease my pain. And I don’t have to become detached to do it. I will save Ness, and then I’ll break the last of the barriers between us.   

Chapter Text

When we get back to the banquet hall, Jeff has four empty plates with food residue on the table in front of him.

“Were all of those piled as high as the first one?” Poo says.

“Yeah.” Jeff pats his stomach. “This might be the best meal I’ve had in my life. Thank the chef for me, will you?”

“That will have to wait, since I’m coming with you to rescue Ness. And while you’ve been gorging yourself, Paula learned Starstorm.”

“No shit?” Jeff sits up straight. “Congrats, Paula. That should be a big help.”

“Only the α version,” I say. “It’s not much stronger than my Fire PSI at this point.”

“Except it hits all enemies without requiring them to be in a line and doesn’t take as much of your mental energy,” Poo says. “You should be proud, Paula. It’s a big accomplishment. Especially when doing it in the timespan that it takes Jeff to inhale enough food for a family.”

Jeff shoots Poo a droll look. “Putting other people down doesn’t seem very monk-like.”

“If I avoid taking shots at you, then you’ll know I’ve really gone too far down the path of enlightenment,” Poo says. “But enough chatter. Are you ready to head out?”

Jeff grunts. “I ate so much that I don’t know if I can move.”

“Then we’ll have to help you digest it with some exercise, shall we? Fighting dinosaurs should get your blood pumping.”

“Actually, the body puts digestion on hold when it’s in danger,” Jeff says. “You need to study up on the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.”

“And you,” Poo says, “Need to learn some foresight if you stuffed your face knowing that we’ll be facing mortal danger afterwards. I suggest self-reflection by meditating under a waterfall, which if done long enough can even impart sense into someone as dense as you.”

“Here I was,” I say, “Thinking that we’d have less bickering without Ness around. Are we ready to head out or not?”

I regret my exasperated tone as soon as the words leave my mouth. After all, I know the banter between Jeff and Poo is friendly, and it’s better for them to get into gear by butting heads than it is to freak out about fighting our friend. But both of them cut off their conversation and tell me they’re ready to leave without indicating further offense.

And to his credit, Jeff does show incredible restraint by not commenting when a bunch of interested girls approach Poo as he leaves and try to schedule lunches and dinners with him. Poo rebuffs them with what looks like no effort at all, and we finally make it outside. Poo begins teleporting us, and I take a deep breath right before we start running around in a circle to pick up speed.

I won’t leave Ness waiting any longer.

#

The mugginess hits me first, which is how I know we made it to the jungles of the Lost Underworld. Massive conifer and cycad trees tower over us, and the ground is littered with ferns.

“Funny that the conifers make this look like a Winters forest,” I say.

“Well, this place is essentially a time capsule,” Jeff says. “When the dinosaurs were around—non-avian dinosaurs, I should specify, since we still have plenty of birds roaming around today—flowering plants hadn’t evolved yet. That includes not only small flowers, but many jungle trees as well.”

“Thanks for the explanation, Mr. encyclopedia,” Poo says. “Does any of that help us stay alive?”

“It helps as much as your meditation,” Jeff says. “Now, Paula was giving me a hard time about my navigation skills, so do you want to lead?”

Poo laughs. “Why am I not surprised? Sure, I’ll give it a try.”

Following the exchange, Poo begins leading us through the jungle foliage. We do encounter some dinosaurs, which Poo has us flee from whenever we can.

“Never knew you were such a coward,” Jeff says.

“Never knew you couldn’t understand the wisdom of conserving resources when your bottle rockets can’t be replenished with a rest. Stop wasting breath and pick up the pace.”

A part of me is glad for Jeff continuing to complain about how fast Poo is going, since it gives me an excuse to pace myself. And given that Jeff had better stamina than me in the Pink Cloud cave, I bet most of his objections now are performative. And as we venture further into the jungle, I notice that Poo has more of a spring in his step than he did while acting the calm sage in Dalaam. Nice to see that getting back into the adventuring lifestyle is as energizing for him as it has been for us.

As we approach the cave leading to the fire spring—seriously, why did the sanctuaries have to be connected to caves so often—Poo points out a regenerating geyser nearby. Right, I remember telling Ness not to mess around with them only to discover that they heal our injuries and restore our psychic energy.

However, this time a group of dinosaurs are lounging around in front of the geyser.

“You wanted your fight, Jeff,” Poo says. “Here’s one actually worth taking. I do regret that we have to fight wild animals-”

“I don’t,” Jeff says. “Ecology be damned, those assholes attack us on sight. Every one of them has it coming.”

“Right.” Poo’s tone is flat. “Paula, this could be a good chance to practice your new Starstorm technique. Oh, look, they must have noticed Jeff’s shouting.” Turning to Jeff, “Please do try not to hold us back too much.”

Yep, the dinosaurs are headed our way. I adopt a combat position.

Jeff snorts. “Big words from the guy who couldn’t take a right hook from a street thug when joining our group.”

“For a scientist, you are rather obsessed with outdated observations. When I wake up tomorrow, will you be claiming that the sun revolves around the earth?”

“Guys,” I say. “We need to move.”

Jeff grunts and slings his heavy bazooka onto his shoulder, firing at the group of dinosaurs. The blast hits true, but a shield effect on the chomposaurs limits the damage.

I take a deep breath and direct my psionic focus on the meditative feeling Poo instilled in me. I am not my legs, my arms, my ears, my eyes, my mind. I am one with the skies and stars.

And like a charm, the battle anxiety begins to fade, replaced with a serene calm. I will do what I can to follow this flow, and even if it ends with dinosaurs mauling my friends, panic and grief will not save me. This is the feeling that the thralls were instilling in me. This is why I let Ness go, uncaring about what happened to him.

But it’s different now. I’m not following the flow of their river, but my own.

“Starstorm α.”

I reach out with both hands, and energy meteors rain down on the group of dinosaurs. I can see the destruction wrought by the explosions of pure energy, but my calm breaks when I see them continuing to advance towards us. Jeff fires another blast from his heavy bazooka, but it barely slows them down. Shit, what are we going to-

“Starstorm Ω.”

Glancing over at Poo, the calm washing over his face puts any serenity I felt to shame. His eyes are empty, yet full of life rather than soulless. His expression is neutral like he’s in a peaceful slumber. And even the simple act of stepping forward and extending a palm towards the enemies is carried out with the grace of a dancer.

The ground rumbles, and the energy meteors that fall from the sky are larger than the ones I created. They slam into the ground in front of us, explosions upending patches of dirt and sending trees falling, and when the dust clears there are no dinosaurs left to challenge us.

“Showoff,” Jeff says. “Could have done that any time but just had to wait until we softened them up.”

“I believe coordinating attacks instead of fighting them all on my own is called teamwork, Jeff. I recommend looking the word up in a dictionary.”

“I think we all did a great job,” I say. “Now let’s head for that geyser. It’s been twenty minutes and I’m already so sticky that I need a shower.”

That gets them to stop arguing, and we head over to the rumbling geyser. The ground begins to shake and water spouts from the ground. I close my eyes and hold my breath, submerged, until I surface at the top. From here, we tower over even the tallest trees in the Lost Underworld, and looking out I see the lush green jungle in its full glory with a few outposts of Tendas scattered throughout.

The water begins to recede, and I let out a yelp as I fall down. Still, the descend is slow enough that I’m in no real danger, leaving the three of us on the ground once the water retreats back underground.

And with how humid it is, I bet the moisture’s going to stick to me for hours. Joy. But at least we’re all healed up, and Poo leads us into the cave leading to the Fire Spring.

Concerns about staying damp are soon alleviated as I’m hit with the dry heat of lava—or does it count as magma if it’s underground? Don’t want to get Jeff started on another rant by asking that one. Poo leads us through the cave system around the rivers of magma, and the moisture on my skin is a nice barrier against the scorching heat.

And while nobody wants to chat while we’re walking through hellfire, I do notice that Poo makes fewer wrong turns than Jeff does. So much for that experimentation skillset letting Jeff solve everything.

We arrive at the end of the cave passageway leading to the Fire Spring, and we all give each other an encouraging nod before stepping through. On the other side is Ness, levitating and surrounded by Starmen like Poo. Only this time, the way Ness opens his glowing eyes and regards us tells me he’s not going to be a helpful passenger like Poo was.

“Paula, you have to leave. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you.”

I clench my jaw. Can I move forward, knowing what this will do to Ness? Glancing at the calm washing over Poo’s face gives me the answer. Our path has led us here, and I have to accept Ness’s fear while letting myself flow around it. I can’t control how he feels about the situation, and I might not even be able to control whether or not he gets set free, but I can reach out for my friend.

The Starmen charge for us, and as I put on a PSI Shield to protect against their Starstorm attacks Poo darts straight for Ness. The path to the small volcano that makes up the Fire Spring itself is across a thin patch of land, an abyss on either side. The Starmen move to cut off his approach, but Poo weaves around them without even slowing down.

Is he… actually going to do this all by himself?

Poo darts for Ness, reaching out with his hand. In response, Ness lashes out in a wide arc with his baseball bat. Poo leaps away from the first stroke, but Ness lunges forward with a burst of flight speed and catches Poo mid-leap. Poo goes flying back, and I let out a scream as he lands on the ground and tumbles towards the abyss.

Poo twists his body to land on is feet after bouncing on the ground, skidding to a halt with his foot halfway off the edge of the cliff. And right as I exhale in relief, Starman laser beams hit him and send him stumbling backwards.

And as Poo takes a step back, his foot lands on empty air and he falls.

I run forward in a useless attempt to save him, knowing that I can’t possibly reach in time. And to my shock, I see Poo grab onto the edge of the cliff as he falls, hanging on by his fingers alone. Even now, he looks calm, unbothered.

“I’m going in,” I say. “I have to save him.”

If Starstorm requires flow and emptiness, I don’t stand a chance of manifesting it in my current state. I approach the land strip leading to Ness and Poo, filled with Starmen staring me down. If I try to run past, they’ll catch me for sure. Poo might have avoided them, but I don’t have control over the way my body moves the same way he does.

So instead, it’s time for something stupid.

“Fire Ω.”

I make a wall of fire down the land strip with the Starmen, a blazing inferno that consumes them. It won’t be enough to take them out, but it should be enough to buy me time.

Time I use to run along the land strip, straight through the fire I created.

Sure enough, the Starmen are busy enough dealing with the fire that they don’t try to stop or restrain me. I run through the searing flames, recognizing that this one power is enough to knock me out from full strength. But that damage was the price to pay for bypassing the Starmen, and I have precious seconds to save Poo before I fall.

I dart straight for Poo, and I see Ness rushing towards me. He slams his bat into my side, but aside from the sharp pain it changes nothing given that my lifeforce is already fading. And as soon as Ness’s feet touch the ground, a blast of slime hits his lower legs and locks him to that spot on the rocks.

I glance over to see Jeff wielding his slime generator, and he gives me a thumbs up.

Right. I waste no time darting away and grabbing onto Poo’s wrist as he dangles off the side of the cliff. He grabs onto my arm, looking up at me.

“Lifeup γ.”

The pain vanishes, and I feel my vitality building back up. I can act like that was part of my plan, but I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. Good thing Poo has more clarity of mind than I do.

I pull Poo up, but as I do I stumble and nearly fall off myself. I let out a curse at my own lack of upper body strength. Guess I should have worked harder at those ropes after all.

“Paula, behind you.”

The panic in Poo’s voice sounds fabricated, like he’s trying to speak my language and convey a danger he doesn’t feel. I look over my shoulder to see that Ness has freed himself and is advancing towards us. Glancing at Jeff reveals that he’s occupied by the Starmen and in no position to slow Ness down again.

The metal baseball bat he wields gleams in the firelight. A single hit won’t knock me out, but no amount of fortitude can stop it from sending both me and Poo into the abyss. I wince as Ness raises the bat above his head like an executioner’s axe.

No time for fear. Calm. I am calm. If my road ends in death, so be it. But I will not let fear control me in my last moments.

As Ness’s muscles tense, preparing to bring the bat down, I reach out towards him. Given that I’m hunched over from holding Poo, my hand is low and grabs onto his bare shin. I take in the sensation of his leg hairs—soft rather than the prickly I get when I don’t shave my legs for a while—and the touch of his skin on my own.

Ness hesitates.

“Pau…la…?”

“PSI Magnet.”

Right before my vision flashes white, I see Ness’s real eyes beneath the wisps.

Haunted, beautiful, and filled with tears.

Chapter Text

As I come to after the flash of white, Ness is holding me up with an arm while a force tugs at my other. And it isn’t until Ness yanks me towards him and Poo hoists himself up that I remember that I was holding him. Evidently I let go, so it’s a good thing that Poo’s grip on my wrist was tight.

I glance over at the sound of footsteps to see Jeff running towards us, battered but not in danger of collapsing, with the Starmen nowhere in sight. And as the noise fades to a steady walk, what’s left is the eerie background noise of the Fire Spring’s rumbling.

“Thanks for the save, both of you,” Poo says, nodding at me and Ness.

“How can you say that?” Ness snaps. “You’re my friend and I almost…”

Poo raises an eyebrow. “If it makes you feel better, Paula and Jeff nearly died because of me when I was a thrall. It was an unfortunate situation, but guilt doesn’t help anyone.”

“And it’s that easy for you?” Ness’s fingers start trembling. “You were an inch away from dying, Poo. Does your own life mean nothing to you?”

“It means as much and as little as the choices I make with it,” Poo says. “Don’t say anything you can’t take back, Ness. Let’s get you out of the heat and get you a cold glass of water, and then we’ll talk.”

Ness’s eye twitches. That’s all the warning I get before Poo darts away, yanking me back. Ness falls to his knees, head in his hands, psychic sparks of electricity surging from my body. In a moment of disbelief, I look down at my own hands. There’s no way my Thunder PSI could have gone off a time like…

“Shit.” Ness looks down at the floor. “Not again.”

Again? So this has to be something Ness’s body is doing to himself. He grimaces, and the way his chest moves tells me something’s coming up right before he bends forward and vomits. Trembling, a thread of spittle still dangling from his mouth, he turns to us with horrified eyes.

“Go away,” he says. “None of you were supposed to see me like this.”

I move to run towards him, but Poo grabs onto my hand. When I glance back, he looks deep in thought.

“We can give you some space, Ness,” he says. “But you have to stay within eyesight. You’re getting out of this place, and it won’t do for you to collapse from heat.”

“This place doesn’t cause heatstroke like the desert, remember?” Ness’s voice is bitter. “Just leave me.”

“I’m sorry,” Poo says. “But I’m not taking my eyes off you. That’s non-negotiable.”

Ness sighs, getting to his feet. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

The three of us exit Fire Spring into the cave, and true to his word Poo keeps us as far ahead of Ness as we can be while still seeing him. During the stretches without turns, this means we’re far enough away to talk without him hearing.

“Sorry to step in like that, Paula,” Poo says. “I wasn’t trying to shut you down, really. I was… worried about what Ness would do. What he shares with you is special. After all, you were his first companion on a previously lonely journey. It’s clear he didn’t want any of us to see him in that state, but,” Poo takes a deep breath. “I think he hated looking that way in front of you most of all.”

I blink. Even five years ago, Ness was the dashing hero who rescued me from Carpainter first and Monotoli second. He was my sword and shield, shouldering blow after blow for me with a smile.

How much of that was fear of showing weakness?

“I agree,” Jeff says. “Trust me, Paula. He will listen to you. In fact, you get through to him in a way that we can’t. But we can’t have that conversation here and now.”

“The two of you agreeing on something?” I force a smile. “Are we in Moonside or am I dreaming?”

“Given how the three of you described Moonside,” Poo says, “I’m starting to believe it was a collective fever dream on your part. So the answer could be both.”

Jeff scoffs. “Imagine the religious monk having such a limited ability to comprehend the metaphysical. Disgraceful. If anything was the fever dream, it’s your existence. You only appeared to us after we got high on magic cake.”

…And they’re back at it again. The little banter does make me relax, and Poo is careful to keep an eye on Ness above all else. We manage to get out of the cave without any altercations.

“You want to teleport back home, Ness?” Poo asks.

“No.”

Silence lingers into the air until it’s absorbed by insect buzzing.

“Then you should come with us to Saturn Valley. We have matters to discuss with Dr. Andonuts.”

Ness glares at him. “You saw what happened when you and Paula got close. You want to electrocute those poor Mr. Saturns?”

“Easier to explain the phenomenon to them and have them avoid you than a human settlement,” Poo says. “We’re not leaving you on your own, Ness.”

“And what gives you the right to keep me chained to you?”

“Please, Ness,” I say. “There are dinosaurs looking to make you into a snack, and Saturn Valley is safe. You don’t have to talk with us if you don’t want to, but we at least need to know where you are.”

Ness slouches. “Fine. But don’t let the Mr. Saturns wander close.”

Poo teleports us off to Saturn Valley, and as the world reforms around me I see Ness pop into existence a few seconds later. Poo and Jeff begin telling the Mr. Saturns about what happened to Ness, and after looking away for a second I glance back to see Ness walking out towards Grapefruit Falls. I duck out into the cave after him.

After emerging out at the river leading to Grapefruit falls, I don’t see any sign of Ness. He had better not have teleported out of here. Well, downstream leads to Threed, and I doubt Ness is headed that way if he wants to mope off on his own. That leaves only upstream—again, assuming he didn’t teleport—in the direction of Master Belch’s factory. A place empty and with enough painful memories to be perfect for indulging in self-pity.

It's almost scary how easy it is for me to follow the thoughts of someone who hates themself and wants to be left alone.

I approach Grapefruit Falls to see that Ness is naked and using the waterfall as a makeshift shower, his clothes stacked in a neat pile nearby. Okay, now I feel bad about tracking him. As I turn to leave, Ness’s gaze meets mine.

Shit. I tense, ready to endure another verbal lashing, but instead his expression softens.

“I’m sorry, Paula.” I can barely hear his voice over the waterfall. “I should have told you where I was going.”

“And I should have trusted that you wouldn’t run off without a reason. I’ll give you some space.”

“I meant what I said in Winters, you know. I’m not embarrassed about this sort of thing.” A pause. “A part of me hates Poo for being right. Some water and a cold shower takes all the anger away.”

I hesitate. It feels weird to stay and stare while he’s showering, but now I can’t duck away without leaving the conversation unfinished.

“Right, but you do get squeamish,” Ness says. “Sorry. I’ll let you go.”

“No, I…” I take a deep breath, collecting my words. “I want to be here for you.”

“Thanks. And thank you for saving me while I was a thrall.”

“I’m sorry I took so long. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to be dragged away and watch your friend not even care.”

“Probably not any worse than a friend breaking one or two of your ribs with a baseball bat.”

But that doesn’t count when Ness wasn’t in control of himself. I open my mouth to say as much, and then realize the point he’s making.   

“I guess not.”

Our conversation drifts into silence. I want to help Ness, but there’s only so much I can do to alleviate the awkwardness of chatting while he’s naked under a waterfall. Is there another way I can assist? I glance over at his pile of clothes.

“You got a change of clothes?” I ask.

Ness shakes his head.

“Why don’t I call up Tracy and see if she can deliver some of your clothes through Escargo? You know how fast they are. Oh, and I’ll lie and say you’re unconscious so your mom won’t be expecting a call if you want to take some time to yourself.”

Ness’s expression softens. “If you really don’t mind.”

“Not at all. And I’ll bundle your dirty clothes up and send them back to your house so you don’t have to keep lugging them around. That all right?”

“You don’t have to do that, Paula. Those clothes are all sweaty and gross from me being in the Fire Spring.”

“That’s the point of replacing them with a clean set, isn’t it?”

Ness snorts. “You’re being really nice to me after how much of an ass I was to you.”

“Well, it’s not like you ignored me on purpose for five years or anything crazy like that. What kind of friend would be that petty?”

While Ness hesitates, I keep going.

“And honestly, it’s not some huge favor compared to what we did for each other in the past. I fought a barf monster at your side in the factory that’s literally right behind where you’re standing. Trust me, I can handle some sweaty clothes.”

“Point taken. Thanks, Paula.”

I gather up his clothes and stuff them into my bag—which really isn’t that bad, since the shorts aren’t even that sweaty and I can use them to pick up everything else—and begin to leave.

“Hey Paula.”

“Hmm?” I glance back at him.

“Do you have a change of clothes?”

“Yeah.” I look back at the towel that was by Ness’s dirty laundry. “Forgot to pack a towel, though. Oh, but it’s fine. I can use Fire PSI to evaporate the water.”

“Out in the open by Grapefruit Falls?” Ness raises an eyebrow. “I have an extra towel and my bag. I’ll leave it for you, along with the bottle of body wash. Maybe this is bad for my hair, but I use it as shampoo too. You could give that a shot.”

“Can’t be worse than when we kept teleporting back here to stay at the Mr. Saturn’s place with no running water because you were too cheap to get us a hotel room.”

Ness laughs. It’s more subdued than usual, and the same underlying harshness in all of his words is still present. But it’s still nice to hear the sound.

“Reason number five hundred and twenty-seven why I’m lucky the rest of you put up with me. Can’t believe I got to take a girl I liked on an adventure around the world and insisted that we stay with weird little critters and no running water instead of getting actual hotel rooms.”

Is this the first time Ness has admitted that he likes me? Or at least liked me at the time of our adventure. I’ll process that later.

“And I wouldn’t trade that adventure for anything in the world,” I say. “I’ll be back with a set of clean clothes soon, Ness.”

His expression softens, and I can only tear my gaze away from him when he goes to get more body wash. And good thing, too. As fast as Escargo Express is, I don’t want to leave Ness under that cold waterfall for longer than necessary.

And as I head back, it hits me that the events of the last thirty minutes have been everything I hated about myself for the last five years. I let Poo shut me down, tasked myself with following Ness like I’m his mom, and now I’m doing chores for him like a housewife.

Whenever I deviated from my expected role, I was slapped onto broadcast for the entire country to see. When I tried to express myself, my parents threatened to throw me out on the street. And I told myself that if I could become strong and defiant enough, if I didn’t need Ness or anyone else to step in and save me.

But now I’ve circled back around. I’m the mediator of bickering boys, and the one who makes sure Ness is taking care of himself. I’m passive, acknowledging my role, but I’m not constrained by it. I’m free, letting one event take me to the next, thinking about how to help my friends instead of worrying about standards to resist or be complicit in.

I’m happy.

Chapter Text

A successful call with Escargo Express later, I return to Ness with a change of clean clothes. He’s dried off and has a towel wrapped around his waist, which makes me feel a little less awkward about staring. In fact, I keep looking until Ness tells me to set down the clothes and back off so we don’t risk what happened back at Fire Spring hurting me.

I’m tempted to argue. After all, it’s not like a little surge of PSI energy is really going to hurt me. But for now, I let him do things his way.

And after he leaves is my turn to wash up and get changed. I’ve spent enough time cooled off that the water of Grapefruit Falls is frigid rather than refreshing, and I barely last a few minutes before drying off and changing into a new set of clothes.

Upon making it back to Saturn Valley, Poo and Jeff catch me and say that we should all have a conversation together about our next steps. Ness insists on staying several feet away from us, which means that we have to raise our voices, but at least he’s not at our throats anymore.

“Two sanctuaries left,” Jeff says. “Magnet Hill and Lumine Hall. Tracy told us that Ana is in the Fourside Sewers, leaving Ninten to guard Lumine Hall.”

“I suggested moving on ahead,” Poo says, “But Jeff has no stamina and complained until I agreed to let us rest for the night.”

“Good call,” I say. “I’m pooped as well.”

“You’d think Poo would be the most pooped,” Jeff says. After a pause, “You know, because his name is-”

“Do all genius scientists have the humor of an eight-year-old,” Poo says, “Or is it only you?”

At this point, I notice that Ness has been quiet the whole time.

“Something on your mind?” I ask.

“You…” He looks up at us. “The three of you should go without me.”

Silence. Jeff and Poo exchange a glance, with even Poo looking worried.

“You’re our leader, Ness,” Jeff says.

“Well, some leader I’ve been. Getting captured and telling you off, forcing you to play therapist, and oh yeah.” He stands up. “Almost killing two of you.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” I say.

“Oh?” Ness says. “I remember what Poo said. That Jeff nearly died because of him. Not that he almost killed Jeff. Answer me, Poo. Did you attack them like I did?”

“Sounds like you already know the answer.” Poo’s words are even. “Getting stuck on that comparison doesn’t help anyone. What matters is what we do now that you’re back.”

“And I’m giving the answer,” Ness says. “You leave me behind. I’m unstable. Deny it, any of you.”

I fumble for the right words, Jeff flinches, and Poo looks as impassive as ever.

“That’s what I thought,” Ness says. “Besides, we don’t know for sure that all the influence from the Starmen is gone. They could have some brainwashing code that could activate and make me betray you at the last second.”

“You’re asking us to prove a negative, Ness,” Jeff says. “That’s the last conversation any scientist wants to get into. We don’t have any reason to suspect that the Starmen possession left any lasting effects on you.”

“Oh yeah? What about the way I broke down and psychic lightning started surging through my body?”

“You implied that happened before,” I say.

Ness whips his head towards me, and then his eye contact breaks.

“Shit,” he says.

Then he walks towards the cave in the back of Saturn Valley. The Mr. Saturns, who normally barely seem to notice our presence, follow their instructions and give him a wide berth. Leaving the three of us to watch Ness storm off into the darkness.

“Well then,” Jeff says. “That could have gone better.”

“Actually, that was better than what I was expecting,” Poo says. “Ness was more present as a thrall than what you two were describing from the others. Worked out for us since he didn’t knock me and Paula off into the abyss, but it’s no wonder he’s like this.”

“So what do we do?” I say.

Both pairs of eyes to go to me.

“What?” I say.

“If anyone knows how to get through to him,” Jeff says. “It’s you.”

“But.” I glance at Poo. “You’re able to get a read on people, aren’t you? Can’t you use that to help Ness?”

“Well, that read is telling me that he doesn’t actually want to be left alone,” Poo says. “But I don’t know if me confronting him about that will help.”

Someone going through a bad phase and then actively avoiding their friends while secretly wanting them. Where have I heard that one before?

“I’ll try,” I say. And after a pause, “But since we’re on the subject. What did they do to make you a thrall, Poo? And do you think any of that is still left in you?”

“Ah, that story is simple. I got jumped while meditating, likely by Ninten and Ana. My memory is a little hazy. They showed me the same serenity they were pushing onto you, and called Starmen in to sustain the effect. I retreated into myself to avoid that push, which left me with only the emptiness. So they took me to Pink Cloud and I continued meditating.”

“And you stayed like that for days?” Jeff says. “Damn, maybe there is something to that monk training after all.”

“As for lingering effects,” Poo says. “It is as Jeff says. There is much about this world that is beyond my reach or comprehension, so I can’t be definitive. But I don’t feel any different than I did before they took me, and I have no reason to think that there should be lingering influence after you cleared out all the psychic energy they implanted into me.”

So Ness shouldn’t be a threat to us. It will be hard to make him see that, but I’m glad to have it confirmed.

“Last thing,” I say. “Do these Mr. Saturns have a picnic blanket to spare?”

#

A half-hour later, I head inside the cave with a takeout bag and a picnic blanket to see Ness stewing in the corner. Even before I approach, I see a small jolt of psychic lightning run through his body. When he sees me, he hops to his feet and glares.

“What part of storming off into a cave do you not…” He blinks, looking at the takeout bag.

“Burger shop,” I say. “I figured you were hungry. You’re lucky they deliver all the way out here.”

“Oh.” His shoulders relax. “Thanks. You can leave it by the entrance and I’ll grab it.”

“Actually, I wanted to keep you company. Only one picnic blanket, and part of the order is for me too.”

“I appreciate that, Paula. But I can’t put you in danger. This PSI energy might attack you at any moment.”

“PSI Shield α.”

As a rainbow sheen coats my skin, Ness raises an eyebrow.

“Now I don’t have anything to fear from rogue PSI energy. Can I stay?”

Ness lets out a dry laugh. “To think for years I was fantasizing about sharing a meal just the two of us. And this is how it happens.”

I take that as accepting my offer and set up the picnic blanket. And when I pull out the burgers and fries, Ness does sit down across from me.

“Why?” Ness says.

“Hm?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? I was rude on purpose so…” He takes a deep breath. “So that you’d leave me behind and find something better to do with your time.”

“Funny. I remember asking you the same thing when you wanted to go on this adventure with me.”

Ness nods at that, and we begin digging in.

“Man,” he says. “You’ve really had to be the mom friend today, huh? Making sure I have clean clothes and dinner. Guess I really am the stereotype, aren’t I?”

I frown. “Stereotype?”

“The macho guy who can’t work out his emotions and gets aggressive whenever something goes his way. While also needing some poor girl to handle all the life skills for him.”

Is that all Ness thinks of himself as? It’s clear that looking for an excuse to engage in self-pity, and I nearly say as much, but then I think back to our early conversations. Of me being so terrified of being the damsel that my first response after being saved was to hate myself rather than appreciate Ness.

“Well,” I say. “If you don’t like acting that way, you could tell me what’s on your mind.”

Ness sighs, and a psychic spark flies off him towards me. He freezes as it does, but the spark dissipates upon touching my hand without even reducing the energy of my PSI shield.

“Doesn’t that make me more of a pathetic loser man?” Ness says. “That I need to dump all my emotional problems on you instead of handling them myself?”

“Don’t think about that. Please, I want to be there for you.”

Ness digs back into his burger, finishing it after a few bites. He licks his fingers, freezes and glances at me in embarrassment halfway through, and then continues after I offer him a nod.

“You’re right,” he says. “I should have brought this up before. This isn’t your first time asking about it, after all.”

It isn’t? I rack my mind, and I recall one topic I did inquire about. The nightmare Ness didn’t want to discuss.

“About a year and a half after our adventure,” Ness says. “King passed. He had a good life. I was sad, but it was clear for months before that it was coming. I was prepared.”

The pain in his eyes tells me the loss is still there. He pauses, and then continues.

“We had a little family memorial planned,” Ness says. “Nothing fancy. Just a chance to get together and talk about what King meant to us.” He takes a deep breath. “And my dad didn’t show up. Was too busy at work, he said. He just had to go in on the weekend.”

Now that Ness mentions it, I don’t think I’ve ever met his dad. I know the man financially supported Ness’s journey, but Ness always talked about him as if he were a stranger.

“I had a full meltdown,” Ness says. “Screaming, crying, snotty and rolling on the ground. Imagine that. The hero who was plastered all around Onett as some invincible defender of justice losing his shit over a dead dog and daddy issues.”

The harsh tone Ness takes with himself makes me wince. A year and a half after our journey means he was only thirteen at the time.

“My mom tried to console me, and my powers went off. Electrocuted her. Tried to heal with Lifeup and it only made things worse. So I ran off into the woods. Camped out for the night by where the meteorite hit. In the end, I only came back because I was homesick. My mom had to console me after she was the one who got fried by my powers.”

At this point, Ness is looking past me with haunted eyes. I reach over and put a hand on his leg. He stiffens at first, but then shoots me a thankful smile.

“And that’s what my nightmares are about,” he says. “Hurting her, again and again. Sometimes Giygas is swallowing her up. Sometimes Pokey is torturing her. Every time, I run forward and try to save her. Whenever I touch her, I electrocute her. I kill her. The last thing I hear before waking up is always the same. The scream she let out when she reached out to comfort her son and got a blast of psychic lighting for her troubles.”

He looks down at his hands, sparks flying off of them as his fingers tremble.

“And I miss her,” he says. “I want to call her, but I don’t want her to hear me like this. I want her to hug me, but I can’t touch anyone without hurting them. And I thought that if I pushed you all away…”

“That at least you couldn’t hurt anyone other than yourself,” I finish.

Ness looks up at me, his eyes wide in surprise. “How did you…?”

“You’re as much of an open book as I am. And we’re not as different as I thought."

"Hm." Ness exhales, tension receding from his posture. “I guess so. Thank you for listening, Paula. I’ve never told that to anyone before. Now you’re one of three people who knows.”

Three? There’s Ness’s mom, me, and…

“Tracy was there to see it all, of course,” Ness says. “And as hard of a time as she gives me about everything else, she has never once used that incident to hurt me. It’s one of the reasons I’ll forgive almost anything she does.”

Ness shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling.

“I really thought I was past this. Getting all sad and homesick when the first thing goes wrong. That was never a part that made it into the stories about our journey, you know.”

I can imagine. Ness’s image is of a boy invincible, unfaltering. Mentioning the way he sniffled and cried with his mom on the phone doesn’t make him look cool or powerful, so of course it was cut.

Why did I ever think I was the only one being shoved in a little box?

“Thank you for sharing,” I say. “But there’s one thing you said that isn’t true.”

“Hm?” Ness looks back at me.

“You said that you can’t hug anyone without hurting them. And as we’ve established,” I look down at the rainbow sheen over my skin, “That isn’t true.”

“Paula.” His eyes look like they’re about to melt. “I’m not pathetic enough to pretend you’re my mom and ask for a hug.”

“Then don’t pretend I’m your mom,” I say. “And see this for what it is. Comfort from a…”

I try to say “friend,” but the word doesn’t come out. And really, both of us have to know on some level that our feelings for each other include more than friendship. I don’t know if I can speak that into existence now, not when this conversation is about Ness opening up instead of me being lovey-dovey, but I also can’t keep pretending like it isn’t there at all.

“Comfort from someone who cares about you,” I say. “Comfort from someone who’s been on this adventure with you the longest. Comfort from someone who feels at home when you’re around, and hopes that she can help you fight off the homesickness too.”

I extend my arms out in a suggestion.

“Comfort,” I say, “From someone who wants to be there for her favorite person in the world.”

When Ness bites his lip, I know I have him. He throws himself into my arms, and I hold him steady. Psychic sparks fly off his body like crazy, but I don’t feel anything at all when they hit my PSI shield. He trembles in my arms, two hundred pounds of muscle but as fragile as a twig, and I rock him back and forth. He leans forward so far over my shoulder that his cap falls off, and I start running a hand through his hair.

“I still…” he draws a shaky breath. “I still hate myself for letting you see me like this.”

“I know,” I say. “And I’m proud of you for letting me hold you anyway. I’ll be here as long as you need.”

He stiffens. “Don’t say that, Paula. It’s getting dark out and I don’t want you to go. I need to sleep here in this cave and-”

“And I’ll fall asleep at your side. All you have to do is say the word.”

Ness’s whole body shakes as he wracks a sob, once again melting in my arms.

“Stay with me,” he says. “Please.”

Chapter Text

We’re able to get some spare pillows and blankets from the Mr. Saturns, and neither of us have much energy left once we see the possibility of snuggling in and going to bed. We huddle together for warmth as night sets over, and remembering Ness’s previous nightmares I make sure that I have an arm wrapped around him so that he knows I’m there at all times.

A part of me wants things to go further between us. The words I left unsaid still linger in the air, and now that I’m not interrupting his vulnerability with my own feelings there’s no reason not to tell him. But as soon as we settle in under the blanket, it’s clear that fatigue is going to win over romantic interest. Like when we were sharing a bed in Ness’s house, he falls asleep in mere minutes, and I drift off soon after.

I don’t have to rush or struggle to tell him my feelings. Eventually, the time will be right.

#

When I wake up in the morning, Ness is still asleep. His snoozing face looks childlike, and I can almost see the baby fat back in his cheeks. It’s so easy to pretend like we’re back on our first adventure, too carefree to understand the weights on our shoulders. I miss those days as much as I want to escape them.

I linger for several minutes so I can keep looking at his face, and right when I begin to get up Ness wakes with a groan. He stretches his arms and hoists himself up to a sitting position, a bad case of bedhead paired with groggy eyes that remind me of my parents before they’ve had their coffee.

“Morning already?” Ness says. “Where did all the nightmares go?”

“Guess I chased them away.”

Ness rubs his eyes, and then flops back onto the blanket. “Guess you did. Thanks, Paula.”

His words fade into silence, replaced by the noise of water dripping down from the cave ceiling.

“Can’t believe I told you all that shit,” Ness says.

He glances towards me, still lying on the ground.

“And you listened,” he says. “You accepted me. I’m angry at myself for being surprised by that.”

“Ness…”

“All this time,” Ness says, “I forced everyone to see the hero of Onett. And I didn’t need to.”

“I can’t blame you, not after I ran away for five years because I was scared to let you see the real me. And I’m glad I know now that the pressure on you is as bad as what I went through.”

“Let’s not go too far.” Ness sits up, putting on his cap. “I can’t imagine being treated the way you were. Seriously, all of Eagleland having a breakdown over your clothing choice?” He shakes his head. “We both had an image forced on us, sure. But the media’s disgusting sexism towards you isn’t the same as me being terrified to have someone see me cry.”

“And it’s not a competition,” I say. “We’re both here to support each other now. That’s what matters.”

Ness offers a quick nod, and then stands up. He stretches his arms, wincing.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this sore in my life before. Healing γ.”

As green light washes over his body, I shoot him a flat look.

“What?” Ness says. “I know it’s bad for my body to rely on PSI to heal muscle soreness. But we still have two sanctuaries to tackle, don’t we? Assuming that Poo and Jeff weren’t dumb enough to take me seriously and actually go on ahead without me.”

As if on cue, Poo steps into the cave.

“Ah, I thought I heard you to,” he says. “Hope you two didn’t have too much fun together last night.”

“What?” I sit up straight. “It wasn’t anything like…”

Poo grins. “Whoa there. You getting embarrassed makes it all the more suspicious.”

“Is it a monk’s job to interrogate a couple of friends for sharing a blanket?” Ness says.

“It’s a nosy friend’s job. But since Jeff does enough of that for the both of us, I’ll move on. You two ready to hear what we’ve been working hard on while you two had a burger date?”

“Yeah,” Ness says, his voice softening. “I’m… sorry about yesterday.”

“As I told the others, you were better behaved than I was expecting. Not everyone can take possession in stride with the grace of a Mu master, after all.”

“Does your religion have a concept of humility, Poo?”

“I’ll tack that down at the bottom of the tenets list. Now, do you want to grace us with your sunny presence outside?”

“That’s what we were planning on. Aren’t you supposed to practice patience?”

Thankfully, Poo doesn’t bite on that one, instead leaving us to pack up the blankets and pillows. After he leaves the cave, Ness lets out a yawn.

“I kind of miss when he and Jeff were quiet,” he says. “I hope I wasn’t the bad influence on them.” A smile comes to his face. “But jokes aside, it’s good to see that you and he still get along after five years. Really feels like the gang’s back together again, all thanks to you.”

“Jeff was the one who suggested we grab Poo. Well, him and Tracy. She said that you owe her one for putting us in contact with Monotoli, who gave us a lift to Dalaam.”

“I’ll try to remember that through all the near-death experiences in our future so she doesn’t chew me out when I get home.”

We head out into the open grounds of Saturn Valley, where Jeff and Poo have pizza takeout boxes and their own picnic setup. Jeff is already eating, shoving half a slice into his mouth in one bite.

“Okay,” Ness says. “Your table manners are definitely my bad influence.”

Jeff waves hi, but at least finishes swallowing before talking.

“Figured the best way to become more heroic was to emulate you. I’m not quite at the point of dumpster diving behind the burger shop yet, but I’ll get there.”

“Can we all agree to never mention the trash burgers again?” I say. “All of you need better jokes.”

“I’d like it on the record,” Poo says, “That I haven’t brought it up once.”

“Speaking of getting things on the record,” Jeff says, “We should actually start before we waste the entire day arguing.”

Ness and I settle in and grab pizza, while Poo whips out more rice gruel. Isn’t rice supposed to go bad quickly? Maybe Poo has a stomach even stronger than Ness’s trash burger processor.

“Poo and I had a chat with Dr. Andonuts, which cleared a few things up,” Jeff says. “First, I bet you two are curious why he and the Mr. Saturn were starting to turn into Starmen, but Ninten and Ana showed no signs of doing so despite having been thralls for longer.”

I exchange a glance with Ness. Judging by his expression, I’m guessing that was also the last thing on his mind.

“The answer,” Jeff says, “Has to do with PSI. It doesn’t only power Starmen due to Giygas’s influence like we thought. PSI is… metaphysical.”

“It is the flow itself,” Poo says. “Existing outside our world in its own dimension. Beautiful, aimless, deadly. It is a thunderstorm, and we have learned how to harness its electricity.” A pause. “We saw some its true nature when confronting Giygas.”

I remember Ness’s reaction to the phase distorter and his nightmares dealing with Giygas, so I glance his way to see how he’s doing. He shoots back a reassuring smile in response.

“When implanted,” Jeff says, “PSI will destroy the target’s mind, turning them into a Starman. We were lucky that we could reverse the process for my father and that Mr. Saturn.”

PSI is the flow. So the reason Starmen are mindless, emotionless aliens isn’t intrinsic to them, but instead a consequence of feeling that serenity so strongly that it quashed out all else.

“But we use PSI just fine without it turning our brains to mush,” Ness says.

“The same way robots use electricity but get fried by a lightning bolt,” Jeff says. Cocking his head, “Actually, many sci-fi robot designs would actually be Faraday cages, so outside electricity should have no effect. Metaphor ruined.”

“Ignoring what sounds like a characteristic blunder from Jeff,” Poo says, “Our PSI use accustoms us to it. We aren’t in danger of turning into Starmen unless an astronomical amount of power is channeled into us.”

“All right, that’s nice to know,” I say. “Does it actually change what we need to do?”

Jeff nods. “My father and I were also curious how the Mr. Saturn became a Starman so quickly. They’ve been reluctant to tell us, but we were able to wiggle the truth out of them. Mr. Saturns are aliens too, as you know, and most of the original Starmen that were under Giygas’s command were Mr. Saturns who got turned out in the cosmos.”

That does explain why the Mr. Saturns have such a deep knowledge of PSI despite not wielding it as a weapon. I always thought they were quirky little pacificists, but if PSI power is enough to turn them into a Starman then no wonder they’d be cautious about it.

…And I bet they’re also quirky little pacifists.

“Then why bother kidnapping humans to Stonehenge?” Ness says. “Why not only go after Mr. Saturns?”

“I believe it was a science experiement,” Jeff says. “One Mr. Saturn as a control to provide a reference point, and a bunch of humans to see how well humans could be used as transformation fodder.”

My arm hairs stick up on end. “That’s horrifying.”

“I know,” Jeff says. “Only one control sample? Disgraceful. Whoever came up with that experiment should be taught the principles of a balanced experimental design, and then get fired anyway for making such an egregious mistake.”

“You’re one step away from an evil mad scientist, buddy,” Poo says, raising an eyebrow at Jeff.

“And I think it was the Starman Deluxe that designed the experiment,” I say. “So what happened to them was a lot worse than losing their job.”

“And thus I can rest easy knowing that justice has been served,” Jeff says. “Regardless, this ties into what we think the Starmen are up to with the power of the sanctuaries. Those things are a big ol’ soup of psionic energy. If the thralls feed that energy into a remote device and use it to unleash a psychic blast…”

I sit up straight. “They could target Saturn Valley and turn all of the Mr. Saturns into Starmen at once.”

“Bingo,” Jeff says. “All empires are built on growth and assimilation. Starmen are no different. We never did figure out what they actually wanted with Earth, remember? The truth was staring us down all along.”

Giygas wanted earth for the Mr. Saturns?

“Guess Master Belch didn’t get the memo,” Ness said, “Or he could have delivered all of them straight to Gigyas.”

“Yes, when Jeff proposed the idea I was going to challenge it on those grounds,” Poo says, “And then I remembered that it was Master Belch, and it all can be explained by simple idiocy on his part.”

I shoot a glance at Poo. “Didn’t you only see him for like a second before Starstorming him?”

“And I was still able to discern his lack of intelligence. The staggering heights of stupidity that one reached was honestly quite impressive.”

All right, we’re getting off topic again. Jeff and Dr. Andonuts are definitely smarter about this than I am, but…

“How does the mistress that the thralls mentioned play into this?” I say.

“That’s what we haven’t been able to figure out,” Poo says. “Ninten and Ana mentioned her as well, and I got the impression that she’s human. Or at least closer to us than the Starmen are. I don’t know how she’s absorbing the power of the sanctuaries from the thralls, but we have to assume the worst and plan for her having the energy of the other sanctuaries even though we freed them.”

“We don’t know what her goals are,” Jeff says, “But we know that the Starmen are trying to expand, and that this force is more directed than Giygas. Instead of trying to devour all of Earth, this mistress is focusing on the source of psionic power. I don’t know if she’ll leave us alone afterwards, but I hope we can all agree that we won’t let it come to that.”

“Of course,” Ness says, standing up. “We only defeated the Giygas because the Mr. Saturns helped. I’m not abandoning them.”

And there’s the firm leadership that I know so well in Ness. Only now, it feels more natural than ever. He is the hero of Onett, and letting himself break away from that image only made it more real. That is his freedom through passivity.

“Though,” Ness says, frowning, “If they’re after the Mr. Saturns, should we make sure they’re better defended before heading out to deal with Ninten and Ana?”

“Great minds think alike,” Jeff says, “We were actually thinking that-”

Poo leaps out of his seat, tumbling forward, and a split-second later a laser fries the spot on the ground he was sitting on. I look in the direction of the attack and see a horde containing dozens of Starmen standing atop the cliffs that rise above Saturn Valley.

Either they finally decided to strike us before we hit a sanctuary, or Jeff and Poo were all too timely about figuring out what their real goal is.

Chapter Text

Ness calls for us to evacuate the Mr. Saturns into the cave, and we waste no time splitting up and gathering them. Their funny little gaits are now in full-fledged panic as they rush for the safety of cover, and as Starstorm attacks start to rain down I cover them with a PSI Shield. Ness also uses his physical shield to protect them, and our combined efforts keep the Mr. Saturns safe while reflecting some of the attacks back at the Starmen.

“All right,” Poo says. “Let’s see if I can buy you more space. Starstorm Ω.”

As Poo’s Starstorm rains down on the Starmen, they warp around and spread out to all areas above the valley so that even the large area effect can’t hit many of them. They continue raining down beam attacks and PSI, forcing Poo to switch to healing duty. Jeff takes shots at the Starmen with his heavy bazooka, but even with his uncanny accuracy it’s clear that we’re wearing them down too slowly to push forward.

Dr. Andonuts also comes bustling out of the one of the houses along with a remaining few Mr. Saturns, and Ness ushers them all into the cave before shouting at us to duck in. I let loose with Thunder PSI to strike the higher up Starmen, but even as I go through the motions I think about how futile it is given their numbers.

Jeff and I dart into the cave after Ness, and Poo is the last one in. And even after running inside, Poo continues looking outside while using the cavern wall as cover. He ducks away from a few more beam attacks, but I don’t see any Starmen approaching us.

“Strange.” Ness frowns. “Shouldn’t they be chasing us? I’m not sure if they’re after us or the Mr. Saturns, but we’re all here.”

“Unless this isn’t an all-out attack,” Jeff says. “It’s a siege.”

Ness and I look to him.

“The Starmen don’t need to capture the Mr. Saturns or stop us to win,” Jeff says. “All they need to do is buy time to absorb enough power from the last two sanctuaries.”

“So then what stops us from escaping and heading for Ninten and Ana?” I ask.

“If I’m right,” Jeff says, “That’s when they will charge and capture the Mr. Saturns. Either we stay and let them complete their ritual, or we leave and let them get what they want through brute force.”

“Then why didn’t they do this before?” Ness says.

“I can’t imagine they felt the need to. It’s a lot of work to manage prisoners and stick them in transformation pods. But now, we’re a threat to the simpler plan of zapping all the Mr. Saturns with psychic energy, so they’re resorting to extreme measures.”

“You sound confident for what sounds like a guess.” Ness pauses. “But you and Dr. Andonuts have been working with the Mr. Saturns and studying PSI for years. I’ll trust your instincts.”

Jeff offers a nod. “Trust me, I don’t like staking everything on one hypothesis either. The easiest way for an experiment to crash and burn is by counting on a specific outcome. But we don’t have time to gather more observations and make better predictions. What I’ve told you is the best I can come up with.”

I glance over at Poo, who’s still standing guard watching the outside. The fact that he hasn’t raised an objection tells me that he trusts Jeff’s assessment as well.

“So,” Ness says. “We need to both protect the Mr. Saturns and head for the final sanctuaries.”

Silence hangs in the air. We all know what that means, but it so fundamentally breaks the rules of adventuring that I can tell none of us want to speak it into existence. After several seconds, I decide to voice it myself.

“We need to split up,” I say.

Right when we got the whole group back together, too. In a way it’s encouraging that our enemies respect us enough to spread us thin like this, but the idea of breaking our group up is terrifying. We’ve had some close scrapes when it’s been three of us going after a sanctuary, and now the group we send out could be fewer than that.

“Shit,” Ness says. “Give me a second to think. But call me if the Starmen start to advance.”

He walks off further into the cave, muttering to himself and shaking his head. After he’s out of earshot, I exchange a glance with Jeff.

“How much time can we give him?” I ask.

“I’m less worried about the time,” Jeff says, “And more worried about Ness feeling like he has to solve this all by himself. It’s easy to see he’s in a better place than last night, but I don’t believe for a second that it’s all better. Still, I don’t think he’ll listen if Poo or I try to chat with him about it.”

The implication in his words is clear. And while I want to deny that I’m any better at getting through to him than Poo or Jeff, I can’t see him opening up to them last night the way he did with me.

“All right,” I say. “I’ll check up on him.”

Jeff hesitates. “I’m sorry, Paula. Really, I don’t want to put all of the emotional problems on you like you’re the group mom. If I thought I could get through to him…”

“I know,” I say. “Don’t worry, Jeff. I want to help Ness however I can.”

It’s funny. For the last five years, I haven’t been able to avoid thinking about stereotypes and expectations. And there’s still a part of me that shares Jeff’s reluctance, because of course it’s the job of the one girl in the group to work out messy emotions for the boys. But sometimes, freedom means tossing aside the temptation to resist.  

I head in the direction that Ness went, and I see him deeper in the cave pacing back and forth while rubbing his temples. He stiffens when my footsteps draw near, but upon whirling around he softens upon seeing me.

“Paula.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I know we don’t have time for me to brood.”

I notice that his fingers are shaking. I want to tell him to let it all out yet again, but honestly I share his feeling about our time pressure. Instead of us getting all gushy with emotions again, I need to diffuse the panic by making sure we have a plan.

“We don’t expect you to solve this all on your own,” I say. “Why don’t we talk about it together?”

“It’s not even that.” Ness averts his gaze. “I’ve already worked it out, Paula. But…”

He tenses, and the trembling gets worse. I’m worried what will happen if I keep pushing, but I remember Poo’s comments to me at the top of the Dalaamian spire. The world is full of contradictions. Within passivity there is motion, within serenity there is might.

And thinking about Ness’s rebound this morning, I saw for myself that within weakness, there’s strength I can bring out in him.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been thinking about?” I say. “Then it doesn’t have to be only you carrying it around.”

“Right.” He takes a deep breath. “We need a group to head to the sanctuaries, and a group to stay behind. And to keep our strength even on both fronts, breaking off into pairs makes the most sense.”

I nod. I bet Jeff and Poo are thinking the same.  

“Either you or Poo has to go to the sanctuaries,” Ness says, “Since we need your PSI Magnet. At first, I thought you should stay behind since you can use PSI Shield to protect the civilians from Starstorm, meaning that Poo should go out.”

I hadn’t thought about that angle, but that does make sense.

“But,” Ness says. “I should be part of the group going to the sanctuaries. In a battle of attrition, I don’t have any ranged attacks aside from my Rockin PSI, which I can’t afford to devote much psionic energy to when I’ll need it for healing and shielding.”

“And is there a problem with you and Poo being the ones to go out?” I ask.

“It leaves no healing here,” Ness says, “Letting the Starmen wear us down. If I go out, Poo has to stay behind, and that means you come with me. The more I thought about it, the more it fit together. Poo and Jeff can’t defend against Starstorm attacks, but they can keep the Starmen at choke points in the cave so that we won’t have to worry about civilians being targeted in the first place. And Jeff’s strengths are best suited for this kind of siege situation. I bet he could whip up some nasty traps with his inventions to slow the Starmen down. And in a long, drawn out fight, we’ll want our healer to replenish their energy with PSI Magnet. Poo’s strengths are better used here, and ours are better used to blitz the sanctuaries.”

Huh. While I was off being worried about his emotional state, Ness was over here strategizing based on factors I never would have thought to consider. It’s a good reminder that while Jeff is the academic brains of the group, Ness is the one who makes the calls in battle for a reason.

But his hands are still shaking.

“That all sounds good to me,” I say, “Is there something in that plan you’re worried about?”

“I still can’t trust myself,” Ness says. “I nearly killed you and Poo with a single swing of my bat. What if I turn on you and there’s nobody else around to stop me?”

“I mean, what you did isn’t any worse than me wiping the whole party by accidentally using Fire on us while mushroomized.”

Ness blinks, and then cocks his head. “I guess you’re right. But it feels like this terrible, self-fulfilling prophecy. If I start to panic, I hesitate or make bad choices that could get us killed. I want to say that as soon as we get back into a fight, I’ll feel the rhythm of battle and be back to my old self. But I don’t know if that’s true. And that little bit of doubt could kill us.”

“I won’t act like I know what’s going to happen on the battlefield, but I will say this.” I meet his gaze. “I trust you with my life. And even if you make a mistake out there, I won’t regret putting my faith in you. You’ve earned that trust a hundred times over.”

Ness takes a deep breath. “I… thank you.”

“Is it all right if I tell Jeff and Poo our plan?”

“You shouldn’t have to play messenger for me, Paula.”

“You’re under a lot of pressure. If it’s my decision to move forward with this, then you won’t have to second guess yourself. Let me have this, and then I’ll be yours to command on the battlefield.”

He offers a slight nod. “Thanks.”

We head back to Jeff and Poo, who are discussing how to cut off alternate entrances to the cave and make sure they’re staying alert to attacks from all angles.

“I’ve decided,” I say, approaching them, “That Ness and I should head off to the sanctuaries, and you two stay here.”

“Great,” Poo says. “Jeff and I will move ahead with fortification plans, then.”

I blink, looking between the two of them. “You’re not going to question me?”

Jeff shrugs. “Why bother? We trust you.”

“Seems like that’s about the only thing you two agree on,” Ness says, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not going to kill each other before the Starmen attack?”

“Rude,” Jeff says. “Tony tells me that Poo and I bicker like a married couple. So really, we’re even closer to each other than you two lovebirds are.”

I feel heat rising in my cheeks. “We’re not-”

“Enough chatter,” Poo says. “Jeff, see if you can section off the other entrances. Shout if Starmen appear.”

Jeff nods and darts off without so much as a grumble. I guess they can be an efficient team when the situation calls for it. I turn back to Ness.

“Where to first?” I ask.

“I was thinking Ana at Magnet Hill. If we can free her, we might be able to learn about what that power Ninten used on me was and how to counteract it.”

Right. 4th-D slip, he called it. If we need to get close to Ninten to drain his energy, anything that makes him slippery and evasive will be an issue. I’m not sure what we’ll do if there’s no gimmick to it that Ana can tell us how to get through, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

“Sounds good. Off we go, then?”

Ness nods, and as we poke our heads out of the cave more lasers fly at us.

“Get ready, Paula. Teleport α.”

We burst into motion, rushing out into the open fields of Saturn Valley as more Starman lasers fly around us. I let out a shout of alarm as we’re about to run straight into the rocks around the pond, but Ness is able to turn us out of the way right in time. He pivots us back to our original direction when we come close to crashing into the rock wall, and by then we have enough speed to take off.

I hope Ana’s ready for payback.

Chapter Text

When we arrive at Fourside, Ness looks around at all the skyscrapers around us with a wistful expression.

“They don’t seem quite as big now that I’m a little larger myself,” he says. “But I guess now’s not the time to reminisce. And I doubt your memories of this place are fond.”

Right, Ness wasn’t here when Jeff and I took the bus here yesterday. One of these days I do want to explore the city with Ness, maybe find a nice little diner or coffee shop to pass away the time with pleasant little conversations… I’m fantasizing about a date, aren’t I? Focus, Paula. Jeff and Poo aren’t daydreaming while protecting the Mr. Saturns, and I can’t afford to either.

“Since I’ve been a hermit for the last five years,” I say. “Did you ever find an entrance to the sewers that isn’t in the middle of a museum?”

“None of the other manholes lead to where we want to go. Guess the sewers were built a long time ago and now the placement’s weird after the city got bigger.”

Well, the fact that Ness is speculating on something he doesn’t know anything about is a sign that at least his confidence seems to be back. Grumbling aside, we head over to the museum, pay the fee, and head into the back room with the sewer entrance.

As soon as Ness opens the manhole, I nearly gag on the stench. And when I follow Ness down the ladder and we begin walking through the sewers, it gets even stronger.

“Oh my god,” I say. “That’s even worse than I remember. Why does dealing with bad smells never get easier?”

“Because smell signals don’t go through the part of the brain that regulates most of our senses, so it’s harder to ignore.”

I blink, and then shoot a glance this way.

“Hey,” Ness says. “Jeff isn’t here, so I have to step up.”

“And how do you even know that?”

“The question is how do you not know that? It was in our psychology summer reading.”

I’m startled to hear that Ness and I are in the same psychology class before remembering that’s how we met a few days ago. It already feels like a lifetime ago, thanks to this new adventure.

My thoughts are interrupted by us hitting a solid barrier of barrels that block our path. Ness sucks in a breath of air.

“Right,” he says. “I forgot that we have to walk through the wastewater to get further in.”

A groan escapes my mouth. I know it’s not fair to complain when Jeff and Poo are fighting for their lives right now, but they’re far away and the sickly water is right here in front of me with its repugnant stench.

“I’m going to catch a disease nobody’s ever heard of by wading through that,” I say.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Healing PSI will cure it.” Ness slides down the ladder into the wastewater. “At least we don’t have to deal with monsters.”

“That makes it worse,” I say. “I can ignore the gross parts when my life is in danger.”

It’s harder than I’d like to admit to follow Ness into the sewer water. There’s probably actual urine and feces in here. How did we not complain about this more when we went through here the first time?

“I’m starting to think,” I say, “That we should have found a way to scale the wall to Magnet Hill.”

“Just think,” Ness says. “The sooner we get through this, the sooner you can get out of here and take a shower.”

“I’m glad your unfounded optimism is back,” I say. “It will need to do double duty to make up for how little I’m feeling this.”

Ness laughs. “Funny, isn’t it? As soon as we become friends again, I make you undress in a dingy cave so we don’t freeze, get possessed and nearly kill you, have you deal with my sweaty clothes, force you bring dinner to me in another dingy cave because I’m sulking, and now make you walk through literal sludge with me. Am I missing anything?”

“You sure are,” I say. “How about the several times you’ve saved my life, helped me open up, and trusted me your own darkest moments?”

Ness goes quiet for a while, and when I glance over he looks deep in thought.

“Jeff even asked me why I was so open with you,” he says. “Specifically about the sexuality thing. I didn’t have an answer for him. It just… felt right. It felt like a weight off my chest to let you see that part of me.”

“He mentioned that you haven’t even told your family,” I say.

“Yeah. Not because I think they’d love me any less. It’s… I don’t know. Like if I tell them, it becomes a whole thing, and even if they love me I’m not sure they’ll understand. Does that make sense?”

I nod. If anything, it’s a relief to know that some conversations are awkward with parents even if they’re supportive. Makes me feel like I’m not missing quite as much as I thought from my own mom and dad.

“Imagine,” Ness says. “Me telling my mom that I dated Jeffrey Andonuts.” He shakes his head. “That was stupid to even try. Long distance is hard enough, even with the library getting a computer that can do email, and it’s obvious that we aren’t a good fit for each other in that way.”

Okay, I did think that the two of them would be kind of awkward paired up, but I wasn’t sure if that was me needing to get more comfortable with same-sex in general.

“I think…” Ness furrows his brow. “I think I wanted to make it real. I knew I was interested in guys, I admire him, and…” he casts a sidelong glance at me. “Well, I don’t know what your type is, but I don’t think he’s hard on the eyes. But even when we called on the phone, there was always this distance between us. Like both of us were acting out a relationship.”

Honestly, kind of sounds like how my parents treat each other. I wonder if that was a factor in me not daring to hope for true love.

“He and Tony make for a better couple,” Ness says. “But for a while, I did feel like I was failing bisexuality for not being able to have a real relationship with a boy. Though it’s not like I ever had a real relationship with a girl, either.”

“Do you have a better idea of what you want a relationship to look like?” I say.

“Yeah. A pretty clear idea, actually.”

I blink. “Really? What is it?”

Only after I blurt out the words do I realize how invasive that question is, as I scramble to walk back my blunder, Ness laughs and looks up. I follow his gaze and see light streaming down from a hole in the ceiling, a ladder leading out to Magnet Hill. Finally, we’re almost done with this place.

“That’s a door I don’t want to open right before we fight for our lives,” Ness says. “How about we both survive so I can tell you afterwards, all right?”

We climb out of the sewer water, and as we approach the ladder up to Magnet Hill Ana flies down to greet us, brandishing a cast-iron skillet.

“Why do you spurn the mistress’s embrace? Why do you choose to suffer?”

I ignore the words. The skillet reminds me of the weapons I used to use and makes me wonder if she has a similar fighting style. I’ve only seen her use PSI, so if I can shut that down this could be an easy fight.

A group of Starmen teleport around her, and Ness brandishes his baseball bat. Too much to hope that they were all busy laying siege to Saturn Valley, I suppose. Time to kick this fight into gear.

“PSI Shield Ω.”

“PSI Shield Ω.”

My PSI Shield goes up around me and Ness at the same time as Ana’s goes up around her and the Starmen. All right, that makes the fight a bit of a stalemate with neither side able to use offensive PSI on the other. But that’s good for us, since we only need to get close to Ana instead of dealing damage.

Ness runs towards Ana, and I shadow him. Starmen move to block his way, but he knocks them aside with his bat and reaches out for Ana. If he can restrain her long enough for me to close the distance and use PSI Magnet, we win the fight outright.

“Darkness.”

The world goes hazy and black around me as dark wisps of smoke sift into my nose and mouth. Still a better smell than the sewers, but that isn’t the issue. Without being able to see-

Before I can finish the thought, beams from Starmen light up the darkness as they fly through the air. Many slam into me, and as I’m reeling I hear Ness grunt and lash out with his baseball bat. A whoosh noise tells me he only hit air.

All right, that’s annoying, but not insurmountable. All we need to do is take out these Starmen when they reveal their position with laser attacks and-

A blunt force hits me over the head, and I cry out in alarm as I stumble forward. Only after I process the throbbing pain do I put two and two together and realize that Ana hit me from behind with the skillet. I reach out towards the spot where she had been standing but grasp only dark smoke.

“Paula?” Ness’s voice cuts through the darkness. “Where are you?”

“Over here.”

Wait, that isn’t my voice, and it’s coming from several feet away. I shout a warning to Ness, but right as the words leave my mouth I hear him running over and getting bonked over the head as well. Either Ana’s good at impressions, or our natural voices are uncannily similar.

More Starman lasers fly through the darkness, my vision flashing with pain as they hit me. I sink to one knee, panting. I don’t know if the Starmen have some way of telling where we are without sight, but Ana shouldn’t be able to see us in her own darkness. Yet she’s been able to sow chaos and track where we are while avoiding friendly fire from the Starmen. Is her hearing just that good, or…?

Another Starman beam hits me, and I can feel my life force draining away. Ness is around to heal me, but in the darkness he won’t know friend from foe. I need to end this now.

I close my eyes and reach out with telepathy.

As soon as I do, I get pings in my mind like radar. Yes, there are creatures around me, thoughts leaking out of minds. The Starmen are subdued, their minds ravaged by serenity. Another one is clearly Ness, based on loudness from both thoughts and physical sounds. That leaves the last one bursting with excess psychic energy as…

I lunge forward, and I feel the presence start to twist away. Not in time. I’m able to grab onto Ana’s shirt, and as I pull her in I reach out with my other hand towards the mind presence my telepathy is detecting.

Meaning that I grab right onto her face.

“PSI Magnet.”

At this point, I tense even before the flash of white happens. When I come to, the darkness is gone, the light from Magnet Hill as blinding as rays from heaven. And by the time my vision adjusts, I glance over and see that Ana is lying unconscious on the ground below me.

Wait, below? I blink, looking up and seeing that Ness his holding me as a glowing green light seals my wounds. Only then does the comfort of his arms sink in. I trudged through sewage, I smell like sludge, and I think I somehow got bubblegum stuck in my hair.

But it’s hard to feel too gross when he’s looking down at me and smiling.  

Chapter Text

Soon after Ness sets me down, Ana groans and comes to. She sits up with a wince, and the psychic wisps in her eyes and unnatural stillness in her face are gone.

“Hell,” she says. “Shit. Fuck.”

She hoists herself to her feet and regards us.

“I probably shouldn’t swear around kids, should I?” she says. “Don’t tell your parents I said those words around you, okay?”

“Kids?” I say. “We’re seventeen.”

“I’m aware.” Her voice is flat.

“Feeling okay?” Ness says. “You were possessed for a long time.”

“Like I said, I feel like shit.” She glances around at the sewer, the disgust in her face so deep I’m worried she’s going to vomit. “But I should get my head out of my ass. Thanks for saving me. I don’t like getting one-upped by a pair of kids, but I guess I shouldn’t have eaten shit and gotten possessed if I didn’t want to be upstaged.”

“You barely look older than us,” I say.

“I’m old enough that I could be your teacher, Paula.”

I guess she recognizes us by our reputation if she knows our names, which shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does.

“So,” Ness says, raising an eyebrow. “Mid-twenties?”

“Yes, but we’re getting off track. Is Ninten safe, or did you go after me first?”

“This is our first stop,” I say. “We were hoping you’d know how to deal with that vanishing thing he does.”

“Hm.” Ana frowns. “Sorry, but I don’t know if there’s much you can do. He uses the 4th dimension to slip out of a fight, and we’ve never had an enemy be able to pursue us afterwards. Some of the larger enemies in our more climactic fights had enough of a presence to stuff it entirely, but I don’t think that one will work coming from a pair of kids mucking around in the sewers.”

“But if we can force his retreat,” Ness says, “We can protect the final sanctuary from this mistress.”

“That could work,” Ana says. “I think Mary’s gotten what she wanted out of the others.”

“Mary?” I say. “You know who this mistress is?”

Ana nods. “Ninten’s great-grandmother, ruling over a dream kingdom called Magicant. We helped recover her memories of being captured by Starmen, and her knowledge and power was key in fending them off.”

“Magicant.” Ness furrows his brow. “Interesting.”

“How did she possess you?” I say. “And why?”

“Don’t have a perfect answer to either question. It’s been over ten years since she helped us, and recently she came to me in a dream. She was… at peace. And then the next thing I know, I’m here with only vague memories of what I did while possessed.”

“Anything else you can remember?” I say.

Ana frowns. “Queen Mary was serene, but she was sad for me. She looked at me and saw a broken mess of failed expectations placed on me after becoming a child hero.”

Not too different than how the thralls looked at me, then. I’m starting to think that becoming famous at age twelve may not be ideal for a kid’s psyche.

“And a part of me understood,” Ana says. “A part of me wanted what she was offering.” After a pause, she frowns. “Don’t give me that look. I’m not saying this because I want some kids to play fucking therapist. But Ninten might feel the same, and she might use it to get through to you too.”

“Any idea what her endgame is?” Ness asks.

Ana furrows her brow. “I think… she wants to be real again.”

“And what does that mean?” I say.

“As you might imagine, she’s as dead as a damn doornail. Great-grandmother of an adult, remember? But in life, she was kidnapped by Starmen. Magicant was a psionic projection of her psyche that lasted beyond her physical body. There’s some sort of powerful psychic energy within her that’s making her hang on past death, and I don’t think it wants to leave.” She cocks her head. “Either that or I was high as shit before that dream. Don’t do weed, kids.”

I exchange a glance with Ness. I can’t think of much else to ask Ana, and it doesn’t look like Ness does either.

“We need to confront Ninten, then,” Ness says.

“Good luck. I’d offer to come with you, but I’m not in fighting shape.”

“What about PSI?” I ask. “I saw you teleport.”

“Yeah, I still have all my regular psionic energy left after you drained whatever Mary did to me. Why, you get a disease from the sewers and want me to cure it?”

“Did you visit Saturn Valley during your time as a thrall?”

Ana bites her lip, frowning. “I think I was there for recon, yeah.”

“I’d like you to teleport there and tell our friends about what happened. They’re under siege from Starmen. I’m sure they want to hear how we’re doing, and on the off chance that they can drive the Starmen back before we’re done they can meet us at Lumine Hall.”

One final showdown. One final sanctuary. That fact alone is enough to be nerve-wracking, but thinking about the emptiness and flow Poo mentioned helps me. Our road leads us there, and panicking won’t fix the trials fate has in store for us. I’m ready.

“I can do that,” Ana says.

“Great,” I say. “Are we good to head up to Magnet Hill and teleport out?”

Ness coughs into a fist.

“What?” I say. “Don’t tell me you actually caught a disease.”

“Magnet Hill isn’t big enough to teleport out of, remember?”

“Even with your β teleport?” I say.

“Even then. There’s not enough room to make the circle we need.” A pause. “We have to walk all the way back through the sewers to get out.”

Those are the last words I wanted to hear. I try to suppress a sigh, and fail quite miserably.

“As Ana so eloquently put it,” I say, “Fuck.”

#

Somehow, I manage to survive walking back through the sewers and getting back out on Fourside’s streets. Ana teleports out as soon as we do, confirming that she’ll update Poo and Jeff about what’s happened. I feel a bit bad about sending her to an active battlefield, but even if she doesn’t have the strength to fight with us she’s still a seasoned psychic. At a minimum she’ll be able to assess the situation and see if she can make it to the cave in the back.

To reach Lumine Hall, Ness and I need to head underground through Tenda Village. He teleports us to the area in deep darkness right outside their little cave settlement, and I immediately dive into the swamp water to wash off the sewage.

Ness glances over at me, raising an eyebrow. “Are swamp diseases better than sewer diseases?”

“When you can cure both with PSI and this way I don’t have to travel around covered in literal piss and shit,” I say, “Then yes.”

Ness shrugs. “Fair enough.”

And then he dives into the water next to me. After we get out, I feel… not cleaner, exactly, but slightly less repulsed by thinking about what my body’s been through. Small victories.  

Ness and I walk through Tenda Village, and when Ness tries to chat up some of the little guys on our path through they mostly talk about their own shyness yet again. Guess we’ll need to get them that overcoming shyness book from the library again at some point. Luckily the path further in is unblocked, and we drop through into the cave leading to Lumine Hall.

And as soon as we enter, I remember how big and confusing to navigate the place is. We make wrong turns several times, and even with no enemies to fight the journey through drags on far longer than I expect. Each time I think we have to be at the end, there’s a whole new section of cave to deal with.

The only saving grace is that at least there are ladders here instead of the horrible ropes in most caves. I’ll have to thank the Tendas for that one.

The length of the road is amplified by our silence. I thought I was sick of hearing Ness complain about mushroom enemies during our trek to Milky Well, but now I realize how much I miss hearing his voice fill the silence in the air. I swear, I could be happy listening to him talk about anything.

Focus, Paula. We have a mission ahead of us, and Ness is tense. And as we reach what has to be the last stretch of dungeon, I see that he looks nauseous.

“Need to use Healing on yourself?” I ask.

“Doesn’t work on stress nausea. I’ve tried. Shouldn’t be bad enough to cause me actual harm like what the enemies did to us, though.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know if it’s anything specific. I have no idea how we were so confident going in to fight Giygas. I keep feeling like I’m slipping away from the person who was brave enough to save the world.”

“I mean, you heard from Ana that even she struggled with that.”

“And Mary took advantage of it, like she might with me.” Ness shakes his head. “It all leaves me thinking about what comes after this. We can’t keep going on crazy adventures forever, but it’s hard to go back to a boring life too.”

“I thought you liked your life in Onett.”

“I do, don’t get me wrong, but…” Ness sighs. “It’s been a whirlwind over the last few days. I’m remembering why I liked going on adventures with you and the others so much, and even if we win that’s going to end.”

That’s a point for me to consider as well. I have to go back and live with my parents after this. I love them, and I know they’re trying to love me back, but I don’t know how much longer things can stay the same between us before I snap and go off the deep end for real. Long days stuck in school and long nights stuck at home. Such a sharp contrast to the adventurer lifestyle that I’ve settled back into.

But at least…

“At least we’ll be able to see each other in psychology class,” I say.

Ness flashes a grin. “Man, we really do sound like schoolkids, don’t we? Maybe Ana was right to see us as children.”

I put my hands on my hips. “I mean it, Ness. I won’t run away any longer, and I want to be there for you too. That makes me glad we’ll see each other every other school day.”

“I know. Sorry for poking fun.” He takes a deep breath. “And you’re right. That will be enough for me.”

I glance over at him. “I’m glad, but I’m surprised you’re so sure.”

“Makes me sound wishy-washy when I was just talking about not wanting to live a regular life, doesn’t it? But when I think about it, I hated the adventure at the start. The first time I rolled up to fight the Sharks at the arcade, they beat my ass. Tossed me out on the side of the street. I had to limp back to my mom, barely conscious, and collapse into bed. They could have killed me, and all that I had keeping me safe was some prophecy.”

“I thought you said that you trusted the prophecy.”

“I did. That was the only reason I kept going. The only way I was able to pull myself out of bed after a near-death experience and tell myself that the trauma isn’t real, that I need to keep bashing my head against the wall until I break through.”

“I had no idea,” I say. “You always seemed so… happy.”

“And that wasn’t a lie.” Ness shoots me a soft smile. “I started to enjoy the adventure once I could share it with you. And so long as I’m lucky enough to have you in my life, everything will be okay. That’s what I held onto, and I don’t plan to stop after this is over.”

How do I respond? Our feelings are so close to bursting, and I don’t know if it’s the best or the worst time to have this discussion.

“I feel the same way,” I say. “I thought I was being strong for not needing you. Turns out I was weak for shutting myself away from what I wanted out of shame and fear. I’m not excited to go back to my home life, but I am excited to spend time with you outside of life-threatening situations. For real this time.”

Right as I finish talking, we approach the entrance to Lumine Hall. A part of me wants to halt so we can keep talking, and I remind myself that our friends our counting on us to get this done as soon as possible. Plus, I don’t mind where I left things. I didn’t put it all into words, but I made it clear how much Ness means to me. And hearing that I mean the world to him as well is all that I ever really wanted.

We enter Lumine Hall to see Ninten with legs crossed hovering above the ground. His eyes flash open, purple wisps of light streaming out from them.

One last fight. Time to end this.

Chapter Text

As Ness readies his bat and I prepare to unleash PSI, words appear on the screen in the back with lights flashing like giant pixels in a video game, letters scrolling by left to right.

FLEE, AND LEAVE ME TO MY FATE.

That screen displayed Ness’s thoughts when we first came here, and now those words must come from the mind of…

“Ninten?” I lower my hands. “What does that mean? What is Mary going to do to you?”

I CANNOT STOP MYSELF FROM FIGHTING. YOU WILL DIE.

“Sorry, buddy,” Ness says. “The people who make it this far aren’t going to be intimidated by a little message on the back of the wall.”

PLEASE.

As soon as the word exits the screen, Starmen appear around him. Would it kill Mary to use more varied enemies like Giygas did? Either way, it doesn’t look like we’re going to be getting any more information out of Ninten.

I put a PSI shield on us to safeguard against Starstorm attacks from the Starmen, and Ness charges right for Ninten. As before, Ninten whips out his metal quarterstaff, landing on the ground with light feet. Metal clangs against metal as Ness swings his baseball bat with reckless abandon, but Ninten is able to deflect his blows to the side instead of blocking them head-on to negate the power of Ness’s raw strength.

Meanwhile, the Starmen fire beams into the fray, damaging me and Ness. Time to do something about that.

“Starstorm α.”

Energy meteors rain down on the Starmen, and as agile as Ninten is even he can’t avoid an area PSI attack entirely. Ninten leaps away from Ness and holds a hand up to his own chest.

“Lifeup γ.”

So Ninten can heal himself like Ness. It’s almost uncanny how much Ana’s skillset maps onto mine and Ninten’s onto Ness’s.

“Ness.” I run up to him. “You handle the Starmen. I’ll wear Ninten down with PSI.”

Ness grunts, and the fire in his gaze burns hot as he narrows his gaze at Ninten. There aren’t many situations we ran into during our journey that couldn’t be solved with the brute force of Ness’s swing, and I can see that Ninten’s evasive maneuvers have only further enraged him.

But right as I expect him to ignore me and charge Ninten, he whirls around and lunges for one of the Starmen. I fixate my gaze on Ninten.

“Freeze Ω.”

The ice attack lands true, and telepathy alerts me to Ninten healing himself once again. However, he’s able to do so while charging towards me.

Words flash across the screen on the back.

YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.

Ninten lunges, unleashing a whirlwind of strikes with his quarterstaff that send me tumbling on the ground. As I blink the pain out of my eyes, I see Ninten standing over me with quarterstaff brandished, more words flashing behind him on the back of the screen.

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SAVE ME?

A war cry alerts me to Ness’s presence, and Ninten leaps back as Ness runs over and swings. Ness leans over and yanks me up to my feet.

“Lifeup γ.”

The power activates before he releases me, and the throbbing fades. I dart behind Ness and continue to unleash Freeze PSI attacks while Ness bashes at Starmen. Ninten advances again, but with Ness’s massive body shielding me there’s only one target he can go for. Ninten’s quarterstaff becomes a blur as it strikes Ness attack after attack, but Ness shoulders each one.

In fact, he doesn’t even seem to process the pain.

Every so often, Ninten has to retreat and heal himself. Every so often, Ness is worn down enough by Ninten and the Starmen that he has to heal as well. Every so often, more Starmen show up to reinforce Ninten.

The battle drags on with Ness smashing Starman after Starman, sending them flying like ragdolls, while I keep Ninten at bay with PSI. I weave in Freeze attacks, which occasionally do freeze him solid but never give us enough time to capitalize with anything more. Between Freeze PSI, I intersperse Starstorm attacks that also aid in helping Ness dispatch Starmen.

And as we continue to fight, more words flash on the back of the screen.

EVEN IF YOU WIN, RUIN AWAITS.

LEAVE BEFORE MARY SINKS HER CLAWS INTO YOU.

I know it’s the words come from Lumine Hall rather than anything to do with Ninten, but I can’t shake the feeling that Ninten has a special role in Mary’s plan. He is her grandson, after all, and the part he mentioned about his fate is still bugging me.

But I don’t have time to process all the implications on the battlefield. I continue throwing PSI Ninten’s way, and eventually my own pool of energy starts to run thin. In our adventure before, me depleting all my psionic power in a single fight was almost unthinkable. But with Ninten’s resilience and healing, I find myself having to use PSI Magnet on the Starmen to replenish my fuel. Funny how after using it to save thralls, I had almost forgotten that its actual function is to drain psychic power from foes.

And as I do, I drain bits from Ninten as well. Not a lot, given that he’s good at keeping his distance, but the bit of drain I get combined with his own Lifeup use means that his energy pool has to be running low as well. I can’t know how much energy was implanted into him, but we’re making progress.

I let that thought comfort me as my muscles ache, my lungs scream for air, and my mind starts to cloud. Ninten isn’t any more superhuman than we are, and even if I can’t get close enough to drain him all at once we can still win this fight.

Eventually, Starmen stop spawning in. I’m not sure if Mary ran out of ones to throw at us or if she doesn’t want them to act as a psychic battery for me to siphon with PSI Magnet, but either way I can’t imagine this battle lasting too much longer. One way or another, we’re going to end this.

Ness focuses back on Ninten, both of them more sluggish than before. This works in Ness’s favor, as his raw strength remains present as Ninten’s agility falters. Ness is only able to score glancing blows, but that’s more progress than before. The more we can force Ninten to heal, the faster we drain his energy and the more chances we have to move in and end this on our own terms.

NO, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO THEM.

I pause as the words flash by on the screen. Ness slams his baseball bat into Ninten’s side, the first full hit of the fight, and Ninten goes tumbling on the ground.

PLEASE, GRANDMOTHER.

Okay, Mary is definitely in his head. What is she making him do? Ness dives for Ninten, going for a full tackle.

THEY’RE ONLY KIDS.

Ness lands on Ninten, pinning him to the ground.

“Paula!” He moves his knees onto Ninten’s wrists. “Get over here quick and-”

“4th-D Slip.”

The telepathic ping is the only warning I get before Ness and Ninten vanish. And as soon as they do, psychic power surges through the air, crackling in the air like electricity. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. Whatever psionic energy I normally detect from the sanctuaries is magnified to be dozens of times strong.

Jeff mentioned that Mary was gathering power to unleash it at a specific point. He thought it was aimed at Saturn Valley, but Ninten’s words make it sound like it’s a danger to us. Regardless of the target, a truth begins to seep into my bones.

All that power Mary gathered is about to be unleashed.

I have to drain Ninten before that happens, but he’s not even in the same set of dimensions as me right now. What do I have that can possibly affect him? Ana said that he travels through the fourth dimension. Whether that’s time or some other dimension we can’t normally comprehend, to pierce through that I need something that transcends physical reality.

PSI. That has to be my best hope.

I reach out with telepathy, and sure enough I can detect a mind nearby pulsing with energy. I run over the point in empty space where the telepathy comes from.

“PSI Magnet.”

Energy starts to flow into me. There’s a distance between us, sure, but the PSI Magnet is piercing the fourth dimension and treating it as another form of space. So while we’re not in the same spot, we’re close. And with Ninten’s power so low already from our fight, if I keep pulling in with all my might I might just believe…

NONONO STOPSTOPSTOP

Right as I read the words on the back wall of Lumine hall, Ninten and Ness pop back into existence. Ninten slumps to the ground, eyes open like he’s dead but still breathing. It’s an eerie sight, but at least the purple wisps in his eyes are gone. Since he’s no longer a thrall, we should be able to heal him up and see what’s wrong with-

A burst of light blinds me, and when the spots in my vision clear I see a giant pillar of light engulfing the spot where Ness is standing. The sheer amount of psychic power in the beam distorts the air like a heat haze.

Ness lets out a scream.

WHYWHYWHY

I look at the words on the screen, then to Ninten’s body, then back at the pillar of light. The screaming sound fades, and a Starman tentacle stretches out from the light towards me. Wait, that can’t be…

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME.

“Ness?”

The word barely reaches my own ears. It shouldn’t be possible. Jeff and Poo said that our PSI was supposed to protect us from turning into a Starman like the Mr. Saturn did and Dr. Andonuts started too.

Or that isn’t quite what they told us, was it? They said that it would take an astronomical amount of power to do so. I don’t know why, but Saturn Valley wasn’t the target for the unleashed energy. Mary used it all on one person. Ness.

WHY WASN’T IT ME?

“Ninten.” I turn to his body. “Can you hear me?”

DOESN’T MATTER. IT’S ALL OVER.

He could be a bit clearer about what he puts up on that wall, but I’m going to take that as a yes.

“How do I stop this?”

CAN’T. THE POWER CONTAINS MAGICANT. MARY.

The power. Right, that pillar is just psychic power being forced into Ness’s body. In order to stop the transformation…

All I have to do is take that psychic energy away from Ness.

PAULA?

I step towards Ness.

AWAYAWAYAWAY YOU’LL ONLY DOOM YOURSELF TOO.

The words on the wall fly by me behind the light pillar. So Ninten’s figured out what I’m going to do. But it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have any power to stop me, and I’ve made up my mind. Even if all I do is lose myself along with him, I won’t regret the choice. I promised to be there for him. We said that so long as we have each other, everything will be okay.

So I’ll be there. We’ll have each other until the end.

I reach out and grab onto the Starman tentacle.

“PSI Magnet.”

I let out a scream as energy starts flowing into me, but even with my senses fried from the overload I can still tell that it isn’t enough. I’m draining an incredible amount of power from Ness, but the amount that’s being forced into him dwarfs even that. At my current rate, I’ll barely make a dent. But I can’t make my PSI Magnet any stronger. Is there really nothing more that I can do?

Wait. PSI Magnet gets stronger the closer I am to the target. Jeff gave the detailed explanation, but Ness dumbed it down and gave me the part I need to know. If I can cut the distance between us in half, I absorb four times as much energy. I cut the distance to a quarter, it gets sixteen times stronger. Cut it to an eighth, and the power jumps to a whopping sixty four times what it was before.

I’m already close enough to touch Ness. But there’s room to move closer still.

I step into the light pillar with Ness, throwing my arms around him and pressing his body into my own. Through the sensory overload, I can feel that his touch on my skin is metallic. Starman. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not letting him go.

And I also cut the physical distance between us to a tiny fraction of what it was before.

“PSI Magnet.”

This time, I know it’s enough. The searing sensation on my skin amplifies, amplifies, until it fades entirely. Too much to process. But as my psychic senses are fried, my physical ones work fine. Without being able to process the blinding psychic light of the pillar, I can see with my eyes alone. I feel Ness start to turn human, and my own skin gets greyer and more metallic.

I look up and see Ness’s head reform from a Starman helmet into a face I recognize. When he glances down at me, I see that pain has made his eyes ancient.

“Why?” Ness says.

The word is slow, agonized, betrayed. He knows that all I’m doing is turning into a Starman along with him.

“Because I couldn’t let you go before telling you,” I say.

I pull him closer, pressing my head into his chest.

“Tell… me…?”

The words are slurred, distant. I open my mouth to deliver what I know will be my last words as a human.

“That I love you, Ness.”

When his arms warp around me in turn, cold and metallic as they are, I know that he heard me. That single motion makes everything over the past few days worth it. No matter what befalls us, this is the path where I stay true to myself.

This is the path where I stop running away.

The thought comforts me as the last of my senses fade, and I drift off into the nothingness of a Starman.

Chapter Text

I come to standing on pink clouds, surrounded by a river that flows around in a circle. I spot a bridge across the water, leading to more pink landscape covered with houses that look like giant seashells and palm trees that sway in a breeze that isn’t there. Behind me is a grey spire, jutting out from the clouds like a massive blade impaled through the pink.

“You sure do know how to put on a show, do you?”

I glance behind me to see a person standing in what had been emptiness before. Ninten, regarding me with an exasperated look.

“Really,” he says. “I do appreciate you caring about little ol’ me enough to risk everything on that PSI Magnet, but now the game’s all messed up. Which throws the fate of the world into chaos, so forgive me for being on edge.”

His voice is similar to Ness’s, but instead of upbeat and chatty there’s a quiet strength permeating through his words. Ness is larger, more imposing, and has the confidence to take on the world, but there’s a steadiness to Ninten’s more subdued presence that conveys the true weight of experience.

But that’s not my main concern. I scan the landscape, frowning.

“Where’s Ness?” I say.

“I told you that the power being implanted into Ness was Magicant itself. You tried to split it between you and him. How do you think that went?”

“Judging by your tone, not well?”

Ninten sighs. “The correct answer is ‘not as bad as it could have.’ The energy wasn’t stable split between you two, and what you did gave Mary the ability to choose her victim between you and Ness. Guess which one she picked.”

“Seeing as I’m here, it looks like me.”

“Ding ding.” Ninten crosses his arms. “Between the two of you, I’d prefer Ness take this on.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t have any faith in me?”

“Let me explain what I know about the situation before Mary is able to kick me out. She was implanting Magicant into my head, so I got to see a bit of her.” Ninten pauses. “I don’t know if Ana mentioned this, but Magicant isn’t supposed to exist anymore. Mary’s gone. Moved on.”

“Ana did mention a lingering energy.”

“More than energy. Magicant is an attempt to replicate the human mind. Not an easy feat. The part we got during our adventure was one side of Mary. This is… the rest. The bitterness she couldn’t let go of, even in death.”

“Bitterness.”

“Being captured by Starmen, locked away from the rest of her species, and being tasked with raising one of their offspring. The creature that would end up becoming Giygas.”

I pause. Giygas was a Starman once? I think back to Poo’s explanation. Starmen are creatures ravaged by PSI, and Giygas was so close to PSI that he showed us some of its true nature. It’s not that surprising, then, that Giygas originated as an especially powerful Starman.

“She was a victim,” Ninten says. “Shoved around, taken advantage of. Her husband had to leave her behind when escaping, and she was all alone after that. She spent several more years as a Starman prisoner until she died. Her only legacy was the… motherly love she showed Giygas. It didn’t stop him from abandoning her and invading Earth, but it did give us a way to get through to him.”

Ninten shakes his head, sighing.

“In the end, that was her life. Trapped in a little box, forced to play mother for an alien while her husband got to learn PSI and escape, cast aside without any hope to cling onto.”

A pang goes through my gut. I thought I had it bad with how Eagleland treated me, but I can’t imagine enduring what Mary went through.

“And most of her stayed motivated,” Ninten says. “Determined to protect Earth through us. But of course a part of her was bitter. And when she projected Magicant with what was left from her mind, that part fractured. And what’s the antidote for bitterness?”

I can still feel my anxieties fading away each time the thralls showed me the emptiness. The clarity, the serenity. Beautiful, intoxicating.

“The PSI left her mind empty like a Starman’s?” I say.

“In a sense. She retains much of her human sense, mostly for the worse. She wield the mental annihilation of a Starman with the ambition of a caged human who wants to grow and spread. Eventually, she will blot out all of Earth. I believe she already began attacking Saturn Valley to create new Starman husks.”

So Jeff and Poo were right about the connection between Starmen and Mr. Saturns.

“From our past bond,” Ninten says, “I am confident I could rein her in to some extent. At least, until someone could kill me and let the last of Magicant’s energy fizzle.” He pauses. “Well, more of an explosion than a fizzle, really, but I was prepared to choose the lesser evil.”

“But now she’s in my head,” I say.

“Which takes me back to why I’m more afraid of her being in your head than Ness’s. She sees your experiences of being forced to be weak and passive as a parallel to hers. She will use that against you.”

“Doesn’t that also mean I can use it against her to get her out of my head?”

“That’s your only hope of keeping yourself, yes. And it’s a slim one, seeing as she is the ruler of this land and you are a mere subject in her domain.” He hesitates. “Know this, Paula. If Mary takes control, I will not hesitate to kill you. We’re deep enough in the earth I expect that it will only take out me and Ness along with you.”

Honestly, that’s reassuring. Death is better than becoming a mindless thrall to carry about the destruction of the world.

“And you’re sure you’ll win that fight?”

The corners of Ninten’s mouth quirk upwards. “Not scared? Guess you have to be a little crazy to fight Giygas. The truth is that I don’t know. Honestly, I should kill your unconscious body in the real world here and now to guarantee Mary doesn’t take control. But I’ll give you a chance to resist her. I owe you at least that much after you saved my life.”

A part of me wants to tell Ninten to ignore that courtesy and kill me straight away. After all, what’s the worth of three lives when the whole world is in danger? But even if Ninten and I agree on that, Ness hasn’t. For his sake if nothing else, I need to try.

“And where is Ness?” I say. “Conscious out in the real world?”

Ninten hesitates. “He should be, but then again I was able to hang onto my presence here. Magicant is already volatile, and your little stunt only set things further off track. Stay on your toes, and be ready for anything.”

Ninten’s image flickers like he’s a hologram, and he lets out a grunt.

“Looks like that’s it for me,” he says. “I’m counting on you.”

“Sounds like a lot of faith when you had none in yourself to stop Mary entirely.”

Ninten shrugs. “Either you win or I murder a kid. I need optimism to stay sane.”

Funny that his qualm is about doing the killing and not the resulting explosion ending his life too. I’m about to point that out when Ninten flickers again and disappears entirely, leaving me alone in Magicant.

Ninten said that me drawing the energy out of Ness made Magicant unstable, and given that he thought that the odds were stacked against me any chaos should work in my favor. I need to act before Mary’s able to regain control over the situation.

I scan the land once again and see a pink castle in the distance. If Mary’s the ruler here, I bet I know where to find her.

#

Time and space are a blur in my senses or memory, and by the time I reach the castle I can’t tell if it’s been seconds or hours. I remind myself that the disorientation works in my favor. If order is established, then Mary is well and truly in charge.

Inside the pink exterior are green halls, with empty rooms leading to other empty rooms. I get lost multiple times within the labyrinth of emerald to the point that I wonder if the layout is changing each time I go through the door.

As I trudge through path after path, the eerie quiet of the castle starts to sink in. Castles are designed to house a village’s worth of people, from servants to courtiers, and to see all that space with none of the activity is unsettling. There aren’t even any decorations or furniture to break up the green, and eventually even my own footsteps sound lonely.

Eventually, I arrive in a long hallway that transitions from green to sleek metallic grey. At the end on a red throne sits a woman with grey Starman skin and tentacle-like fingers. As she stands and opens her eyes, I see the same purple wisps in them as in the other thralls.

No, not other thralls. This woman is no mere puppet of a larger plan.

“Mary,” I say.

“THAT IS QUEEN MARY TO YOU, CHILD.”

The words boom in my mind, powerful yet emotionless. It takes me a second to identify them as telepathy and realize that her lips aren’t moving.

“Ninten said he wanted to contain you. I’d prefer to work things out instead of fighting each other. Is there any hope of that?”

“ALWAYS. JOIN ME IN THIS RELEASE FROM PAIN. THAT IS ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED FOR YOU, PAULA.”

She extends a hand towards me in offer. The motion is inhumanly smooth, the precision of a robot with none of its stiffness. At the edges of my consciousness, I feel it start to creep in. The serenity. I shake it off, but my resolve turns nauseating when the full force of my emotions returns to me.

“Ninten told me that you are the part of Mary that is bitter. The part that let itself be ravaged by PSI. The part that wants to annihilate the world itself. Is that true?”

“SET ASIDE YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS. WHAT YOU CALL ANNIHILATION, THE MASTERS OF THE FAR EAST CALL ENLIGHTNEMENT. MU. EMPTINESS. PSI. IT IS ALL ONE AND THE SAME. I WISH TO SPREAD THIS PEACE TO ALL.”

I told Poo my worry about being the white girl who appropriates eastern mysticism while knowing nothing about it, and here is a perfect example of that in the flesh. Though I’ve never seen anyone butcher Dalaamian spirituality quite as badly as this.

“And that includes kidnapping the Mr. Starmen and forcing their transformations?” I say.

“IF SOMEONE IS CHOOSING TO SUFFER BECAUSE IT IS ALL THEY KNOW, ARE THEY NOT LOST? IT IS NOT OUR DUTY TO ASSIST?”

The pounding of her words on my mind is going to give me a headache if this goes on much longer. It’s clear that diplomacy isn’t going to work here, and I was naïve to think otherwise. The type of person who wants to compromise and respects the wishes of others doesn’t set out to destroy the world.

“Freeze Ω.”

I extend a hand towards Mary, but there’s an emptiness where the power surging through me should be, and no PSI comes out to attack her. Mary begins walking towards me, and I take a step back.

“MAGICANT BENDS TO MY MIND, CHILD. YOU DO AS I DIRECT.”

No wonder Ninten didn’t mention trying to attack Mary in her own castle. If she can bend the laws of reality to prevent me from harming her, then what hope is there?

He mentioned that I needed to rely on understanding Mary. Our parallel pasts are a weapon for her to use against me, but I can turn that back on her.

“AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM WEAK ENOUGH TO BE HARMED BY THE PAST?

Wait, she can read my mind?

“I TOLD YOU, CHILD. MAGICANT IS MINE. YOUR EVERY THOUGHT, EVERY MOTION BELONGS TO ME.”

My body starts to move on its own. I walk towards Mary and get on one knee like I’m a knight swearing fealty, all while I try to wrench control of my body back from her.

“EVEN THAT PESKY MIND OF YOURS WILL BE MINE, IN TIME.”

The serenity starts to overtake me again, spreading closer and closer towards my core. I get enough control of myself back to grimace, and I force the sensation back. That emptiness has already made me abandon Ness while he was being dragged away. If it takes control of me now, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll never get any part of my self back again.

“STILL YOU RESIST. HAVE IT YOUR WAY. I HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.”

Space begins to shift around me, and I’m flung back out the door into one of the green rooms. As the door shuts, the palace walls start to blur and morph.

That’s when I realize. If Mary is the ruler of this land, if she can control my every action, then she can show me whatever she wants to break me down.

Time to face my worst nightmare.

Chapter Text

The world reforms around me in the image of my dining room. I blink, looking around as my parents materialize at the dinner table. Rather innocuous for a living nightmare that’s supposed to break down my psyche. It’s not like I even have to engage with what my parents are doing.

But wait, why shouldn’t I engage with them? This is a normal dinner, and I have no reason to avoid chatting with them. Something in the back of my head screams at me that this isn’t right, that I’m already forgetting what I’m here for, but even that fades into the dull thrum of anxiety within me.

No need to act weird.

I take my spot at the table as my mom brings steaming bowls of pasta to us. My dad picks up the TV remote and surfs through the channels until he hits a local news talk show. I pause when I see a picture of myself on the screen, and the two hosts show a video of me walking to school on the sidewalks of Twoson. They zoom into the blue streaks in my hair.

Right, I decided to dye a bit of my hair to mark my sixteenth birthday a couple days ago. I roll that fact through my mind, wondering why the timeline feels wrong.

“You know,” one of the hosts says. “My little daughter looks up to Paula. We even got an autograph when she first got famous after fighting Giygas. It’s sad to see her go off the deep end like this.”

“My daughter goes to school with her,” the other host says, “And she isn’t surprised. Remember that incident with the tattoo a few years back? The kids her age all knew it was downhill from there. She used to get asked on multiple dates a week, but now the high school boys won’t touch her with a ten-foot pole. This may be a shock to us, but there are always signs. This has been a long time coming.”

“It’s just sad, Ted. She used to be such a good influence on little girls. A proper, motherly presence in that ragtag group of boys. So polite and well-behaved.”

“Right you are, Tim. If anything, this feels like a publicity stunt to make people focus on her again now that we’re starting to move on. The same way nude images of Venus were sent around the internet, supposedly being leaked, and she got a lot of free press by acting like it was ruining her life. That’s how these celebrities work. After their talent’s dried up, they’ll turn into full-on sluts to stay relevant.”

“Dad,” I cut in. “Can you turn that thing off?”

My father frowns, his gaze snapping over to me.

“You know I love you, Paula. You know that I support you, even when I’m angry. Trust me, my disappointment is nothing compared to what my father would have done to me if I dyed my hair. And I’d protect you from this if I could. But you’re growing up, and you have to deal with the consequences of your own actions.”

I look down at my bowl and take a bite of pasta. It tastes like ash in my mouth.

“You know how it looks,” my dad says. “To us, to your classmates, and to the media. You made your own bed, and now you have to sleep in it.” He points at the TV. “This is who you are, Paula. This is what you chose. Remember that the next time you’re about to do something reckless.”

The doorbell rings, and my mom goes to answer it. Bubbling panic starts to rise in me. This isn’t supposed to happen in the memory.

Wait, memory? That’s a weird thought to pass through my mind about a normal dinner I’m having with my family.

My mom comes back into the dining room, followed by a grinning Ness. He halts and hesitates upon seeing me.

“Um, hi.” I say.

“Your hair’s… different.”

“Do you not like it?”

My mom gets a bowl of pasta for him as well, and he sits down next to me.

“I just didn’t realize you were such an attention seeker,” he says.

Attention-seeker? I mean, yes I know that’s what many people see dyeing hair as, but…

“Did it work?” Ness says. “Did all the boys at school start to notice you again now that you’re flashing bright colors in their faces?”

“Ness, I…”

Something about this is wrong. I know that it’s important to hang onto that truth, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

Ness reaches over and takes a dyed lock of hair between his fingers, snorting.

“You really do stick out like a sore thumb,” he says. “Really? Bright blue? I know I’m your friend, but I have to be honest with you. It looks hideous. I can’t imagine any boy wants to date you now.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. The guilt and anger are roiling in my stomach like magma about to erupt from a volcano. I feel guilty for being angry, and I feel angry for being guilty.

“YES. THAT IS YOUR FATE. RESIGNMENT OR RAGE. BOTH LEAVING THEIR TOLL.”

As Mary’s words echo through my mind, the scene fades and I stand in an empty green room. All at once, my memories return and I process that I was living through a memory two years ago. But an altered one, of course. The part with the talk show and my parents was real, but I was avoiding Ness because…

Because that’s how I thought he would react.

I start to gnaw on my thumbnail, a habit I thought I broke years ago. I was expecting a nightmare filled with monsters and torture to break me down, but instead what I got was-

“-A REFLECTION OF YOUR OWN LIFE.” Mary finishes the thought for me. “BECAUSE THAT IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU NEED WHAT I AM OFFERING.”

The serenity starts to creep in once again, cool and refreshing like diving into a pool on a hot summer day. And I can’t deny that the allure is intoxicating. I don’t need to feel this way about my past. Why suffer when I don’t have to?

As those thoughts pass through my mind, the emptiness leaps forward, rushing for my core. I grimace and fight it off. Ness doesn’t feel that way about me.

“AND WHY IS YOUR SELF-WORTH BASED ON HIS APPROVAL?”

The words echo in my mind as I’m thrown back into a new room. Once again, the door shuts and the background starts to change.

#

After I finish sifting through books in the Onett library, I rush to the front desk. I’ve been avoiding Ness for the last two years since our adventure ended, after all, and encountering him now after that whole scandal with my tattoo will be awkward. I hate the way my heart pounds with terror each time I step through the front doors. Seriously, why does Twoson not have its own library despite being bigger than Onett?

On my way over to the checkout desk, I spot Ness in the sports section. I almost don’t recognize him with how much he’s grown several inches from age twelve to fourteen, but his attire is the same.

Nope nope nope. Time to book it out of here. I turn away and look for an alternate path around.

“Hey Paula.”

Wait, that isn’t supposed to happen. I’m sure I made it out of this without Ness seeing me… but isn’t that a strange impression to have? It’s not like I’m a mystic seer who can predict the future, so how should I know how this encounter should go beforehand?

That confusion gives Ness time to approach me, wearing a big grin.

“Long time no see. When you stopped answering my calls, I was tempted to come banging at your door. What do you have there?”

Without waiting for a response, he takes the top book off the stack I’m carrying and reads the title. He frowns, and then glances up at me with a raised eyebrow.

“A feminist history of textile weaving?” Ness says. “Really?”

“It’s… for school.”

“During the middle of summer break?”

Right. Don’t know how I managed to forget that.

“Seriously?” Ness snorts. “This is what you’re reading for fun?”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it. I mean, you can read what you want. But come on, Paula. Not only does it look super boring, but they be all quirky and make it a feminist history. Bet the author won’t shut up about ‘empowering women’ and all those other issues they make up instead of doing something useful with their lives.”

Wait. Isn’t this out of character for Ness? I don’t know why I’m getting this impression since we’ve barely talked since the end of our adventure, but I swear he helped me work through some of the ways I’ve been treated for my gender.

“I mean, this is how they trick you into majoring in gender studies at college,” Ness says. “Talk about a waste of money. Who would want to hire you with that degree?”

“I don’t need you to approve,” I say. “Give me back the book and let me on my way.”

“Whoa there.” Ness takes a step back for emphasis. “Is that what these feminist books are teaching you? That you have to be cold and rude whenever someone has a different opinion than you? I mean, come on. You know I’m right. It’s all made up issues that won’t help you actually get a job when you’re an adult.”

“I’m glad you care about me getting a good job, but all I’m doing is reading a book. Give it back, Ness.”

“Like, seriously. You of all people should know how to spot this bullshit. You can literally create fire and lightning at your fingertips. Don’t let these books convince you that you’re some victim of society with no power just because you’re a girl.”

“I said give it back!”

I lunge for the book, and Ness holds it high out of my reach. That’s when I look around to see people staring at us. Not only did I act aggressive by shouting, but I’m the one who got seen trying to snatch the book out of his hands. Heat rises in my cheeks, and I fumble for a way to explain that I’m not the one in the wrong here.

“Ooh, nice and angry,” Ness says. “Maybe you should take all that energy you put into being mad about how society is oppressing you or whatever and actually do something useful with your life. Then you’ll have real skills people want and they won’t treat you poorly. Just a friendly tip.”

A headache sears through my mind, and I drop the books to rub my temples. They vanish before they hit the round, and the scene around me dissipates into empty green. Right. This is an alternate memory. I did see Ness at the library that day three years ago, but he didn’t see me.

And even if he had, there’s no way that’s how he treats me.

“BUT HE COULD HAVE.”

I try to shake Mary’s words out of my mind. Ness isn’t the type of person to do any of that.

“AND WHAT IF HE WERE SOMEONE ELSE? DENY THAT THOSE ACTIONS ARE OUT OF PLACE FOR A FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY.”

That point I can’t discard so easily. The way Ness talked about feminism is similar to how my dad sees it, and kids at school go further than grabbing books out of hands to mess with each other. There was nothing about what the fake Ness did that was especially extreme or unhinged. Even if that ideology and behavior shouldn’t be normal, it is.

Which means…

“YOU WERE SAVED BY NESS YET AGAIN. YOU ARE STILL RELIANT ON HIM.”

It’s a difficult accusation to shake. If Ness had treated me the way he did in the vision Mary showed me, it’s hard to say that I could have escaped the cycle of hating myself for not being good enough and hating the world for holding me down. And there are millions of people across Eagleland who believe those points—that everyone has the tools to succeed and oppression is a talking point by the lazy ones who failed.

It's true. My self-esteem is reliant on Ness being exceptionally kind and understanding. I never had the strength within me after all.

“YOU SEE THE MISERABLE CREATURE YOU ARE. AND YOU KNOW THE ANTIDOTE.”

The serenity starts to creep in once again, and in my conflicted state is spreads rapidly towards my core. It’s so tempting to let it claim me entirely when I know I’m helpless without Ness.

It feels pathetic that all Mary has to do for me to give up is show me my friend being slightly rude, but that goes to prove her point. The confidence and power I had was never really mine, and all it took for that strength to crumble around me was the slightest push. Yes, it is pathetic that this is all it takes.

Because I am pathetic.

The serenity jumps towards my core, sweet as honey and clear as crystal. I close my eyes and think about my friends fighting for their lives in Saturn Valley. For Ninten, who’s counting on me to defeat Mary after I stole his place as her vessel. For Ness, even as I hate how worthless I am without him. Because I swore to stay by his side until the end.

I will not yield.

The emptiness recedes, and the weight of my own anxiety makes me keel over, nearly vomiting.

“DO NOT CELEBRATE YET, PAULA. THIS NEXT TRUTH WILL BE THE FINAL STEPPINGSTONE TO YOUR ENLIGHTENMENT.”

So this next scene is Mary’s trump card. If I can make it through, I should be in the clear.

That’s the glimmer of hope I hang onto as I’m thrown into the next room.  

Chapter Text

The emerald room begins to blur, and this time the background transitions to a wavy pattern of black and red. Giygas. I see Ness battered next to me, while Jeff and Poo are on the ground unconscious.

Wait, aren’t we supposed to be in robot bodies? As soon as the thought passes through my mind, I discard it. We are here, fighting for our lives against the ultimate evil. That is what matters.

“Keep going,” Ness says. “We need your prayers to reach more people.”

Right. I don’t know how I managed to get distracted in the battle against our final enemy. If my conviction can break through here, we’ll defeat the evil plaguing the world and we can all have happy, tranquil lives. And for the first time, it’s all up to me.

“Please.” I clasp my hands together. “If you can hear us, we need your help.”

My prayer goes out into the darkness, but this time it fizzles. No more voices from the people we’ve met during our journey, and the background that is Giygas seems to advance.

“Paula?” I hear panic creeping into Ness’s voice. “Why isn’t it working?”

“I don’t know. I’ll try again.”

I let out the same prayer again. I feel my telepathy send it out, shooting through the darkness, rocketing through time and space towards the people who care about us and are praying in turn for our survival.

And once again, it fizzles out and dies.

“Come on, come on,” Ness says. “This is our last hope, Paula. You got it to work before, so just keep doing that.”

“I’m trying, Ness.”

I close my eyes and send out a third prayer. This time, it’s less than a second before I feel my telepathy give out and process that the message of hope has been consumed by the darkness.

“Why?” I hear anger creep into Ness’s voice. “Why aren’t you doing it right?”

“I’m doing it the same way as before, I promise. Giygas must be stopping the messages from going out.”

A wave of pain washes over us, an attack that we cannot comprehend, and Ness heals us both with Lifeup PSI in response.

“Then figure out a way to get past it,” he says. “Come on, do you need me to tell you everything?”

I clench my jaw. Of course I want to figure out how to bypass the power of evil incarnate and send out messages of hope and unity. I know our lives depend on it. But what am I supposed to do if it keeps not working?

While I send out prayer after prayer, I try new strategies. I focus on my own feelings of faith, I try to send the messages to specific people, I picture myself standing up against Giygas as a hero, and I pretend that Giygas isn’t even there. Each and every time, the prayer dies before breaking free from Giygas’s grasp.

All the while he continues to attack us, and Ness is too busy healing to tend to Poo and Jeff. Not that they could help much in our current predicament. Conventional attacks can’t hurt Giygas in this form, so all they are while conscious are targets for his attacks.

It’s all up to me, and I’m failing.

“What’s wrong with you, Paula?”

I flinch, glancing over to see Ness shooting me an accusatory look.

“What?” The word slips out before I can think of a response.

“You heard me. This is our one hope, Paula. Why are you messing this up?”

“I’m not trying to. It’s hard.”

“Yeah?”

He steps towards me, his frame large and imposing. I’ve seen Ness’s resolve and battle rage turned against enemies that threaten us. The space he buys and the conviction his leadership instills have saved us on more than one occasion.

He’s never turned it against me before.

“Do you think it was easy to reach Giant’s Step on my own?” Ness says. “Do you think it was easy to rescue you from Carpainter, and again from Monotoli?”

“Ness…”

“It was hard, Paula. But I did it anyways, and I never complained about it once. Because I cared about you and I want to protect this world. So imagine how it feels for me when the one time I need you to take charge, you bitch and moan about how hard it is on your pretty little body instead of sucking it up and doing what needs to be done.”

In a way, Ness is right. I know my PSI has been useful for the team, but I’ve never been strong enough to face the challenges of our journey alone like Ness has. My weakness has forced him to bail me out multiple times. And the first time the path to victory requires me to achieve it myself, I fumble the opportunity.

But as soon as that pang of guilt runs through me, anger emerges to cover it up. I meet Ness’s gaze, clenching my fists.

“Well maybe I would have gotten it by now if I didn’t have to hear you shouting in my ear about it.”

The rage that surges through Ness’s eyes is raw, primal, and I freeze as he steps towards me. It’s the look on my dad’s face when I broke an expensive vase gifted to him by my grandmother, the one that told me he was going to come back with a spare belt for discipline. And so as Ness steps up to me, I feel my legs tremble.

Ness slaps me across the face.

The surprise hits me before the pain, and by the time the stinging sets in my hand is already at my cheek. I look back to Ness, his face strong and impassive as ever.

“You are going to get on your fucking knees,” he says, “And you are going to pray your little heart out. Understand?”

“I…” It takes all my effort not to cry.

“Talk back to me again,” Ness says, “And I’ll break your legs. I’ve saved your life more times than I can count. You owe it to me to at least try and return the favor this once.”

What can I do? One second I’m ready to unleash my PSI at him for his cruelty, and the next I’m prepared to throw myself at his feet and beg for forgiveness. Both impulses surge through me, pulsing in and out.

Ness is right about me being weak and worthless, and he is horrible for saying so. He has every right to push me as far as it takes for our survival, and he is abusive for using physical force against me. He deserves a version of me who will have his back the same way he has mine, and he is unreasonable for demanding I succeed at a task that is beyond our comprehension.

Do I submit, or do I resist? Am I a good little girl who will do whatever it will takes to please, or am I a rebel who stands against all expectations placed on me? I stand at a crossroads, and both paths lead to struggle. To hating myself for my own weakness, and wishing that I could do more. Wishing that I could be more.

That doesn’t mean there’s no merit to either submission or resistance, and it doesn’t make them identical. There are some situations where I need to accept judgment from authority, and others where I need to fight back against what’s being done to me. But what’s demanded of me is to stay one of those paths unwavering, day in and day out.

Which gives me no room to live my own life.

“AND NOW YOU SEE.”

As Mary’s words ring in my mind, the room fades back to green. I sink to my knees, clutching my head to try and chase the thoughts out.

“WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE, PAULA? WHAT IS LEFT FOR YOU WHEN BOTH ROADS LEAD TO RUIN?”

That’s not a fair question. There’s nothing I could do in that situation. If I yield and do as Ness asked, my prayers won’t come from my heart. And if I fight him on the matter, the situation keeps escalating until anger also blocks my prayers.

“EXACTLY. WHO YOU ARE IS INSUFFICIENT.”

But that’s not a realistic scenario. Ness would never do that to me.

“LISTEN TO YOURSELF. ONCE AGAIN, YOU DEPEND ON HIM. EVEN YOUR PROUDEST MOMENT DOES NOT COME FROM YOU.”

That gets a grimace out of me. It’s true that Ness was the one who kept our spirits high as we put ourselves in robot bodies, and that it’s easy to see someone else faltering and lashing out at us in his shoes.

“EVENTUALLY, IT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. THEN WHAT WILL YOU DO?”

No, Ness would never… Agh, and I’m back to that point again. Mary doesn’t even have to point out the obvious. Even if I trust Ness, he can’t protect me from everything. The way the scenes had him act was realistic for someone else—no worse than my parents in the first one, for example—and it was enough to destroy me. Eventually, I will encounter someone who puts me in that situation, and Ness won’t be able to protect me. What happens then?

“AND IT MAY EVEN BE HIM.”

I frown, and as I do a new sensation starts to creep in. Not the emptiness, but a deep bitterness that makes me wince.

And then, all at once, I feel what Mary felt. When she and her husband George were kidnapped by Starmen, she counted on him for everything. He researched PSI beneath their noses while she provided a front by caring for Giygas. He was her only confidant, and he promised that he only needed to learn enough about these alien powers to get them back to earth safely.

But the escape didn’t go as planned. The details are fuzzy even in Mary’s mind, but George was presented with two options. He had to escape without Mary, or not at all. And since she had no PSI of her own, him leaving meant destroying her last chance at ever escaping. It meant dooming her to a life of solitude as a prisoner, with no hope or reason for living.

He chose to escape. And in Mary’s thoughts, I can see that was the outcome she wanted. Better for him to take knowledge of PSI and an alien invasion back to earth than leave the world in peril. Better for him to escape than neither of them. She was genuinely happy to see him free.

It still broke her.

“IF NESS MUST ABANDON YOU TO SAVE HIMSELF AND THE WORLD, WOULD YOU WANT HIM TO?”

Yes. Without a moment’s hesitation.

“AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU?”

I bite my lip. It’s been established all too well what I’m worth without Ness. How I get pushed into corners if I’m forced to deal with someone who doesn’t carry his extraordinary kindness.

“YOU CANNOT DEPEND ON HIM.”

I know. A healthy relationship requires some level of independence, and I hadn’t realized how easily I fall apart without him.

“RESISTANCE AND SUBMISSION. YOU KNOW THERE IS A THIRD OPTION.”

Yes, I do.

The next second, I’m dragged back through the rooms in the opposite direction, ending up kneeling in front of Queen Mary. She reaches out with her tentacle Starman fingers and grabs onto my cheek, moving my head up to regard her.

“I WAS TORN BETWEEN THOSE PATHS AS WELL. AND I SAVED MYSELF THE ONLY WAY I COULD.”

I can’t find the thoughts to argue against that. Being alone, trapped by aliens, knowing that resistance means death and submission means a futile life as a prisoner. And not only that, but…

“BUT I WAS THERE BECAUSE OF MY IDENTITY. GEORGE GOT TO PLAY SCIENTIST, WHILE I WAS STUCK AS THE MOTHER.”

Which in the end, meant that Mary was trapped in her position because of gender roles. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, and that meant there was nobody she could defeat to stop it from ruining her. All she could do was-

“ACCEPT THE NOTHINGNESS.”

And I can’t fault her for that.

“FINALLY YOU SEE. KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE SAME AS ME, PAULA.”

Targeted and kidnapped because I was both seen as and taught to act as the sweet little girl who understands nurturing rather than violence. Never allowed to face the danger of the world on my own unlike the other three. And even my one shining moment was an act of helplessness, of calling out to be rescued from Giygas.

And then, because I tried to break out of my shell and live my own life, Eagleland cast me aside like dinner scraps. The fate of so many young women once yesterday’s news gets old and boring.

“THAT IS THE TRUTH YOU HAVE BEEN RUNNING FROM.”

I try to find the words to deny her statement, and I come up blank.

“AND SO I WILL TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY.”

The serenity creeps in once again, taking hold of me as it crawls closer and closer to my core. I remind myself that I’m here to stop Mary, that she’ll take over the world if I don’t. That this is a small part of her, that the better part of her remained devoted to protecting earth and so can I. That Ness and all of my other friends are counting on me. That Ninten told me Mary would use this exact technique against me, and I promised to resist.

It's not enough. I know that those points are true, that I should be fighting back, but I’m tired. All this being pushed around, caught between struggling to break out of the little box I’m forced into and backing down to make sure I don’t burn all of my bridges. Against the weight of my fatigue and the creeping emptiness, the fate of the world feels so small and distant.

No amount of rationalizing can change the fact that I want to stop hurting.

And so, as the serenity advances towards my core, I lose the will to fight back. Like when Ninten was dragging Ness away from me at Giant’s Step, I barely even process that I once wanted to resist this sensation. I’m as light as a feather, and the emerald color of the walls pops to look more vibrant than a jungle. The air tastes fresh on my tongue, and my stomach settles into peaceful bliss without anxiety to drag it down.

This is true enlightenment.

“YOU WILL NEVER RELY ON ANOTHER AGAIN.”

Yes, I won’t have to count on Ness to make me whole.

“AND YOU WILL NEVER FEEL PAIN OR BETRAYAL.”

All while being free and calm as a gurgling stream rather than weighed down by apathy.

“YOU ARE ONE WITH THE WORLD.”

And I can never go back to being a miserable creature plagued by worldly desires.

“Queen Mary. A world conqueror doesn’t suit someone who protected it from Starmen. Let’s get you to bed, grandma.”

I stand and turn to see Ness standing in the doorway to the throne room, brandishing his baseball bat with a confident grin on his face. He hesitates when our gazes meet, and his expression softens.

Looking into his eyes, I feel nothing at all.

“IT IS TIME, PAULA. LET US SEVER THE LAST TIE TO YOUR WORLDLY PASSIONS.”

Of course. A river does not cease flowing to prevent drownings. A mountain does not shed tears for rockslides that bury travelers.

And I will not hesitate to kill Ness.

Chapter Text

I stare down Ness as he brandishes his baseball bat at Mary. The emptiness gives me clarity, and the sharpness of my senses allows me to confirm that this is, without a shadow of a doubt, the real Ness. The way his body sways almost imperceptibly as he stands light on his toes, the way his eyes flit around the room, the tension in his muscles and aspects of his voice so specific that our language doesn’t have words to describe them. It’s all so… him.

And thinking back to Ness’s adventures in the Magicant we know, I recall him talking about losing all of his vitality and falling unconscious. According to him, it was the same as when we got party wiped during our adventure. Ness struggling to hold onto his last grip on life, fighting to keep consciousness as he dragged himself back to a safe point.

Which means that this is real. This is Ness. If I kill him, he dies.

Ness lunges for Mary, swinging the baseball bat around in a wide arc. She holds up a hand, and an invisible force sends Ness flying back. He bounces on the red carpet and manages to twist his body into landing upright on the second bounce, the force of the blow sending him skidding back still as he holds onto his bat with one hand and his baseball cap with the other.

In my serenity, every motion is crisp, every instant the perfect frame in a rich film. The sound of Ness’s grunt, the grace with which his muscles his muscles direct his movements as he twists his body, the look of fire in his eyes and the white-knuckled grip on his baseball bat.

This is what it means to be detached. The world is beautiful, 4.6 billion years in the making, and every second of it contains multitudes beyond the understanding of mere humans. Whatever happens to Ness will be a gorgeous show. His fate itself is irrelevant. For there to be no suffering, there can be no hope. Gone are the cruel whims of fate that build me up with good outcomes only to break me down with bad ones.

Instead, I am transcendent.

“FOOLISH, NESS. I RULE THIS LAND. YOUR EVERY MOTION IS SUBJECT TO MY GUIDING HAND.”

“Then why not force me to kill myself? Or what, you going to act like you’re too good for that?”

“NO, I AM NOT ABOVE KILLING. DEATH IS A PART OF LIFE, AND YOURS IS NECESSARY.”

“Oh?” Ness raises an eyebrow. “So what’s the wait, if you really are omnipotent?”

“YOU MUST DIE FOR PAULA TO KNOW PEACE. AND SHE MUST BE THE ONE TO KILL YOU.”

Yes. Even now, twinges of emotion at the edge of my serenity seep through like wastewater being dumped into a pristine spring. My dependency on Ness has given me an unhealthy attachment. To free myself, I must cut it all loose.

Unhelpful thoughts seep through, asking why I must kill. After all, Ness is suffering as well, and could use the serenity that has been gifted to me. But that is the thinking of a Paula who is still bound by earthly desires and earthly logic. A single life is a burning candle. Why should there be a moral obligation to let all the wax melt instead of blowing out the flame?

I advance towards Ness, and in my hand materializes a club. Raw, powerful, brutal. And in my state of tranquility, it is beautiful. I am not bound by the use of a silly frying pan that juxtaposes me against the servile role of a housewife or mother. This is the tool I shall use to finish my road to enlightenment.

“Paula.” The forlorn note in his voice echoes in my empty mind. “I’m sorry it’s come to this.”

There is no need to reply. Instead, I lash out with my club, sending him sliding back even as he parries with his baseball bat. The force comes not from my physical strength, but from the psionic energy coursing through me like a water cooling system for an overheated machine.

I am one with the stars, and I wield their might with every swing. Ninten said he would try to kill me awoke from Magicant armed with Mary’s serenity, but he doesn’t stand a chance against this might. He cannot destroy me any more than he can destroy the sun blazing in the sky.

Ness runs over to me, ready to lash out with his baseball bat. I do not move to block or dodge, for there is no need to treat his inconsequential human effort with any amount of urgency. As he swing his bat towards my head, he grimaces and stops it right before it hits me.

I whirl around with a smoother motion than I was ever able to achieve in ballet, striking him with the club. The force of impact sends him flying back, and he slams into the wall before falling down and landing on his hands and knees. As I take slow steps towards Ness, he looks up at me.

“I know you’re a warrior,” he says. “That holding back is disrespectful. But I can’t fight you. I’m sorry.”

I slam the club into his face, and he manages to avoid crying out. Instead he stumbles to his feet, and another blow to the side sends him tumbling on the ground. He looks up at me again, bloody and bruised, yet the softness in his eyes remains.

It matters not. Even as a mere human, I understood that I relied on him to an unhealthy degree. Without that face of his tugging at my heartstrings, I will be free.

“I couldn’t stop thinking,” Ness says, “About what you told me as we were transforming. I had no idea you felt that way about me. Or maybe I was scared to admit it because it means that I have so much to lose.”

I walk over and bring my club down on his head. He falls flat on the ground, scalp soaking his hair in blood. He places a hand on himself and uses Lifeup PSI, but the effect fizzles without healing him. So instead, he forces himself to his knees and looks up at me.

“I told you I had an idea of what I wanted a relationship to be, right?” he says. “I was going to tell you later, but I can’t let myself leave you without saying it. I’m sorry if it’s a mean thing to tell you now.”

I bash the club into his face again. This time, Ness grabs onto my legs to avoid being knocked away from me. He pulls himself close, wrapping his arms around my lower back and pressing the side of his head into my core muscles.

“The relationship I want is getting to be with you,” he says. “Watching TV, finding coffee shops in Fourside, doing homework together on rainy days. If it’s with you, I’ll be happy.”

“NOW, PAULA,” Mary’s voice echoes in my mind. “END THIS,. BRING THE HEAVENS DOWN AND JOIN ME AS A CHILD OF THE STARS.”

Ness pulls his head away, looking up at me. Within the pain and sorrow in his eyes, I pick out a glint of joy. Even after what I’ve done, a part of him is happy to look up and see my face. That makes me hesitate, even now.

“I love you too, Paula,” he says, “And I’ll be here until the end.”

Before the words dissolve into the emptiness of my mind, my consciousness is thrown up into the stars. The same as when I was practicing this meditation with Poo as a mere human. Yet even that memory fades into nothingness as I’m left with the vast expanse the universe.

All is one. Past, present, future, across all corners of the universe. It is cold and empty and beautiful. I am it, and it is me. The gravity of the stars is enough to obliterate the last traces of my mind and thoughts.

This is PSI. It permeates throughout the cosmos, watching over all. Those who come into contact with it see the truth, and the beauty that dwarfs the human mind until it is less than an ant. No thoughts or emotions break through.

Yet somehow, a question does. Is the emptiness mine, or is it Mary’s? In the cold starlight, there is no thought that can occur to answer this question, so it dissipates along with the rest of my mind. What is left is something that is beyond cognition, beyond sensation, beyond awareness.

The true power of the stars.

Starstorm Ω.

I return to consciousness, and energy meteors fall down through the ceiling on the entire room. I watch one slam right into Ness.

Nothing happens.

And behind me, Mary lets out a scream.

The grip of emptiness on me breaks, and all of my horrible, nauseating emotions return. The anxiety, the horror, the guilt. But when I look down at Ness’s face, bloody and battered, there’s something beneath that begins to rise in me.

Tenderness. The kind of gentle warmth that tranquility could never achieve.

I whirl around, seeing Starstorm energy meteors explode around Mary.

“THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. YOUR THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS ARE UNDER MY CONTROL.”

They were. And it’s when I think back to Poo’s lesson atop the spire in Dalaam, I remember. Harnessing the power of the universe quashes my mind, but true emptiness doesn’t mean surrendering to orders of another, either. Ness was with me, even as I was an ethereal presence in the cosmos.

And Starstorm only harms enemies. When all of my excess thoughts and feelings were stripped away, look who that ended up being.

All right, no more time to waste processing what happened. Mary is reeling, and I can use that to my advantage before she recovers. I run towards her, and through the pain in her metallic face I see fear as well.

Looks like that rude awakening for her was enough to break her hold over even her own serenity.

“NO. YOU WILL NOT-”

I grab onto her hand. The sleek, cool metal slides against the skin of my palm.

“DO NOT TAKE THIS FROM ME.”

A pause.

“Please.”

The loud emptiness in her words fades to a human desperation. With her control shaken, this is my one chance. Let’s give it all I got.

“PSI Magnet.”

Magicant starts to rumble, and the world turns white.

Chapter Text

The throne room is fully green—no traces of the metallic gray from earlier—and hazy with areas too far away fading to a gradual white like a picture book. In front of me stands a young woman in a pink dress. She is on one knee, straining and panting. Eventually, she is able to hoist herself to her feet with a groan.

“Mary,” I say. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

Her gaze narrows at me. “Why? You agreed with me, Paula. You understood what happened to me.” She pauses, and some of the fight leaves her posture. “You understood what may happen to you as well.”

“Yes. And I’m sorry for all that you went through.”

“I don’t… this isn’t about your sympathy.” Her eyes turn pleading. “I was helping you, Paula. And we were so close. But you defied me in a way that I didn’t know was possible, all so that you could choose to suffer instead.”

“Yes.”

Mary hesitates, and for a minute we stand in complete silence.

“So why?” she says. “Don’t get me started on that love declaration from Ness. That shouldn’t have been able to loosen my grip on you.”

“It didn’t change your control itself. But the emptiness doesn’t belong to you, Mary. When I was with the stars, I understood that I wasn’t going to hurt the boy I love. You had no power over that.”

Mary snorts. “Love doesn’t exist in the emptiness.”

“Maybe not. But there was something in there that shone through. And when I made the calm my own, I knew what to do without thinking.” I straighten my posture. “And I’m glad that our paths led us away from your plan. I like us better when we’re not trying to take over the world.”

“I was going to help people.” Mary looks around at the white edges of reality. “And now I have nothing. You took everything away, and my kingdom is crumbling.”

“It’s for the best.”

“You really didn’t want my healing?” Mary says. “All I did was for the sake of people like you, and yet…”

“There are better ways.”

“Oh really.” Bitterness seeps into her voice. “Like relying on that boy you’re infatuated with?”

I nod, prompting Mary to frown in response.

“So you want to stay weak,” Mary says. “Dependent. You sacrifice all of your agency and hope others will save you.”

“If that’s how you want to see it. The way I see it, Ness was stronger after he let himself be weak and I helped him. I trust him to do the same to me.”

I hesitate after the words come out, remembering who I’m talking to. How in the end, even if Mary wanted to trust in someone she had nobody at all. And sure enough, she bares her teeth at me in response.

“And what will you do if he leaves?” Mary says. “Do you know how many high school sweethearts actually end up staying together in the long term? It could even be as simple as going to different colleges.”

Yes, that is a possibility. People change, and our love for each other doesn’t guarantee a happily ever after.

“So what will you do if you’re left all alone like I was?” she says. “Answer me, Paula.”

“Maybe I will turn to the serenity then. But not on the whims of PSI that pushed you and Giygas to conquer the world. I’ll make it my own.”

“That’s wishful thinking.”

“Is it? Ninten told me that the larger part of you stayed to protect this world. I’ll look up to you and learn from your successes.”

Mary looks out at the distance, expression wistful. “I always saw that part of me as a fool. But even though I persisted to help you, it’s her you learned from.”

“And there has to be a part of her in you too. So thank you for the help.”

“Tch.” After a second, her shoulders sag in defeat. “What’s left for me, Paula? I built all of this up to provide respite to those who had no other options, but I couldn’t go back to that even if I wanted to.”

“The other part of you used up all of her energy and moved on from this world. I bet she’s waiting for you.”

“Waiting?” Mary furrows her brow. “I’m the darkest part of her. Why should she want anything to do with me?”

“Because you’re still a part of her. And when you’re whole again, maybe you and she both won’t have to feel so alone.”

Mary draws a long, shaky breath. Then she stands up straight and nods.

“I… see. If she really is waiting, I will tell her your story and how you sent me back to her. I am sure she will be grateful.”

“Tell her the feeling’s mutual,” I say. “Now, go in peace.”

Mary exhales, and she begins to ascend. Her pink dress begins to flutter, her hair whipping in wind that isn’t there. As she rises, the world gets paler and paler. And as she reaches the ceiling, all of Magicant fades away.

When my eyes flutter open, I’m back in Lumine Hall.

Chapter Text

Ness’s face lights up as he looks down at me. I realize my head is in his lap and pull myself up to a sitting position. I study him, seeing no sign of the harm I inflicted on him in Magicant. But he has to remember.

“Paula?” His grin turns to a concerned frown. “You all right? Mary isn’t giving you any more trouble, is she? You released a lot of energy out here over the last few minutes, so I assumed Magicant was gone.”

Guess that means I should thank Mary for letting the energy spill out over time instead of releasing it in an explosive burst.

“Yeah, that’s all fine. It’s just…” I wince. “How can you look at me like that after what I did to you?” I pause. “That was you, right?”

“Not any worse than me nearly hitting you into the abyss when I was possessed.”

“That’s…” I trail off when I remember how horrified Ness was at what he had done to me. “All right. I accept that. And I’m so happy you’re okay. When I think about the state I was in, how easy it was for me to hurt you, I…”

A shiver runs down my spine, and I rub my arms for warmth. Ness opens his arms in suggestion. When I remember the blood and bruises across his face, a part of me still wants to run away and hide my face in shame. I remind myself of the way I mourn the last five years of my life for being so empty without my friends. I won’t let myself fall into that trap again.

So I let myself fall into Ness’s arms.

As soon as I do, tears come to my eyes. I try to force them to stop, but that only makes them run down my cheeks.

“I hurt you,” I say. “I beat you within an inch of your life and I didn’t feel anything at all. And you still said that you love me. I can’t… I don’t deserve…”

Ness’s arms wrap around my back. The way he holds me is firm, strong as stone, yet soft and gentle. How long has it been since I’ve been held like this?

“It’s all right.” His voice is strong, soothing. “I’m here for you, Paula. We won, and everything’s going to be okay.”

“Why am I like this?” I heave a sob in his arms. “I almost killed you, but you’re the one comforting me.”

“Honestly? I’m wondering if you’re trying to make me feel better.”

The shock of his words knocks the anguish right out of me. “What?”

“Obviously I don’t like seeing you sad. But there’s something nice about knowing I’m not the only one who needs a shoulder to cry on.”

Okay, I did comfort him in the Saturn Valley cave. But that was different. I’m breaking down after inflicting unforgivable violence on someone I love, and Ness…

Well, all right. Maybe I am being too hard on myself.

I draw in a shaky breath and let myself fall into Ness as I exhale. A new kind of emptiness fills me. Release. I linger on it as Ness holds me for multiple minutes, until eventually I have the strength to pull back. Ness holds me at arm’s length while I sit on top of his legs, and once I wipe the last of my tears away I see him gazing at me. His pupils are wide, drinking in every part of my face.

The way he wants me is what I’ve yearned for since our adventure, and what I’ve hated myself for feeling like I need. Now after five years, our emotions are finally out in the open. And when I look into his eyes, all of my internal conflict about how much I should care about his opinion of me fades.

After all, looking at his face makes me want him as badly as he wants me.

“You’re beautiful,” I say.

Ness laughs. “After trekking through sewage, swamp water, dingy caves, and getting all sweaty in a fight?”

“Yes. Because you kept on caring about me through all of it.”

Before I realize it, both of our faces are moving towards each other. We hesitate at the same time, and I can see that Ness is debating if he should ask first right as the impulse comes through me too. But at this point, we know each other well enough to trek through hell and back together. We both want it, and I’m worried that if I open my mouth to say a single word about it I’ll be so awkward that I have to run away in shame.

So we don’t say anything. We lean into each other and kiss.

…And it’s way more stilted than I’m expecting, our lip movements like dance steps that result in us tripping over our feet. When Ness and I pull away from each other, he shoots me a sheepish grin.

“Um,” he says. “I hope that didn’t ruin the moment we were having.”

“You know,” I say. “I never quite believed that you really brushed off all those other girls. A part of me figured you had to be kissing them behind the bleachers or wherever people go to do that kind of thing. But now I know you were telling the truth. There’s no way you’ve ever kissed someone before.”

“Yeesh, any more knives you want to stab me with while you’re at it?”

I laugh. “And I bet it was obvious that I’ve never kissed a boy either. It makes me happy that we get to learn together.”

For a moment, the tenderness that was between us returns. But as soon as it reappears, Ness breaks eye contact.

“On that note,” he says. “As much as I’d like to keep learning that skill, we should get out of here and let everyone know we’re okay. Maybe wash off all the sewage and swamp water while we’re at it.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

When I stand and stretch my arms, I see Ninten examining the lights at the back of Lumine Hall. He glances our way, and I freeze in horror.

“Shit,” I say. “You heard all of that, didn’t you?”

The corners of his lips twitch upwards. “I was wondering if you forgot I was here.”

“Years from now, I’m going to be minding my own business and my mind will drift back to how embarrassed I feel in this moment.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Ninten says. “I don’t think I get to judge you for much of anything after talking about how I was going to kill you if it were necessary to stop Mary’s spread.”

Ninten glances at Ness after the words come out, who responds with a yawn.

“Good thing it didn’t come to that,” Ness says.

“You’re an odd kid, aren’t you?” Ninten says. “Not even raising an eyebrow at me talking about killing your girlfriend.”

“I don’t think that’s odd at all,” Ness says. “Why should I get up in arms about you getting your ass kicked, Ninten?”

That gets an amused smile out of him. “You’ll get along well with Ana. That aside, I agree with this plan of getting out of here. Where’s the exit?”

“Quick question before I answer that,” Ness says. “How do you feel about slides?”

#

Ninten is entirely unfazed going down the massive chute that leads from Lumine Hall to the Lost Underworld. I remember when our group first discovered it where Ness was grinning and letting out excited whoops while I was screaming in terror, but I decide to chalk that up to us being twelve and Ninten being in his twenties.

After we drop into the jungle, it’s an easy teleport out to Saturn Valley. As soon as we appear in the village, Jeff and Poo rush up to us. Jeff is wearing a wide grin while Poo’s calm serenity carries warmth that makes it his own.

“I figured that you had done it when all the Starmen left,” Poo says. “But Jeff here was freaking out, so I’m glad you’re here to calm him down.”

“Oh, excuse me for being concerned about our friends,” Jeff says, putting his hands on his hips. “Didn’t we agree that the whole uncaring meditation thing is what happened to Starmen? Mind that you don’t grow tentacles out of your ass.”

“Well,” I say, “I know you’re both okay if you’re arguing like this.”

Poo nods. “And you two, on the other hand, look like you’ve been through quite a bit. The Fourside sewers specifically.”

I exchange a glance with Ness. Yeah, this might not be the ideal huggy reunion with friends.

“Why don’t we meet at your place, Ness?” Jeff says. “We’ll all get cleaned up, and then we can celebrate for real. If there’s room, we could even invite your new psychic buddies.”

He shoves a thumb over at Ninten and Ana, who are conversing with each other over what looks like a serious topic by one of the Mr. Saturn houses. Ana perks up when we glance her way.

“I’m always game for a celebration,” Ana says. “Ness, what kind of wine do your parents like?”

“Ana.” Ninten shoots her a flat look. “These are kids, remember?”

“It’s not for them,” Ana says. “Bringing a housewarming gift is common courtesy, Ninten. You could learn a thing or two about it.”

“Oh?” he raises an eyebrow. “And is it also a common courtesy to get so weepy drunk at a house party that I have to step in and use Healing to remove the alcohol from your body?”

Huh. I guess alcohol is technically a poison, but I never thought about using it to sober someone up instantly. But that was quite the jarring experience for Ana.

“Pfft.” Ana waves a hand in dismissal. “You can’t judge me for what happened in undergrad, Ninten. That was a different Ana in a different life.”

“Well,” Jeff mutters, “Our constant arguments feel a little less special knowing that the previous group of heroes are still at it too. Hopefully they don’t sue for copyright infringement.”

“That aside,” Ninten says, “We’d be happy to join you. It’s a little weird for adults our age to party with kids, but we can explain to your parents that we’re here for professional reasons. You know, sharing PSI knowledge and all.”

“On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t invite Ninten,” Ana says. “He’ll suck all the life out of the party.”

After studying the four of us, Ninten tells us to take some time to ourselves and draws the conversation to a close there instead of engaging with Ana. Jeff and Poo plan to teleport back to Winters so Jeff can get washed up and tell his friends about what happened, and Ness invites me to go to his house early with him.

Which sounds good to me. I can’t even begin to think how I want to explain all of this to my parents.

#

Ness’s mom is delighted at the company, and begins prepping steak for the main dinner course. After Ness and I get washed up and changed, we head downstairs to see Tracy surfing through TV channels. When she glances over at us, her gaze narrows at Ness.

“Good to see you too, Tracy,” he says.

“Something’s… different between you two.” She glances between the two of us. “I think you have something to tell us, don’t you?”

“Now, dear.” Ness’s mom says in Tracy’s direction. “He’ll tell us when he’s ready.”

“Well, sounds like you already know,” Ness says. “But there’s something only a little related I want to say first.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m, uh, bisexual.”

Oh. Was not expecting him to drop that here.

“Damn it,” Tracy says. “I thought you were never going to admit it. I owe a friend ten bucks now for losing the bet.”

“Be nice to him, Tracy,” Ness’s mom says. “He’s had a long day.”

“What?” Ness blinks, looking at Tracy. “You knew?”

I try not to laugh at the look of disdain Tracy shoots him.

“Ness,” she says. “You called Jeff from our phone in front of me and mom. Did you think we were deaf?”

“I… it was that obvious that we were trying things out like that?”

“Don’t worry, dear,” Ness’s mom says. “We don’t see you any differently. And Tracy, you shouldn’t make bets over something so personal in your brother’s life. Apologize to Ness.”

Tracy crosses her arms, glaring at her mom.

“Tracy.” Ness’s mom looks over, her tone stern.

“Fine.” Tracy lets out a dramatic sigh. “Sorry, Ness. But really, if you didn’t want me talking about it, you shouldn’t have been so obvious.”

Ness’s mom shoots him an apologetic look. “I think that’s all I can get out of her for now.”

“Uh, yeah.” Ness clears his throat. “Well, there was another thing I wanted to mention too. Paula and I are dating.”

Against all better reason, my heart starts pounding in trepidation. Ness’s mom said she likes me, but what if she doesn’t approve? I did avoid her son for five years as soon as I faced my first setback.

“Wait, shit.” Ness looks at me. “We didn’t actually say that, did we? I mean, we were fighting for our lives and a lot was going on, and…”

I walk over to Ness and wrap an arm around his shoulder. The way his posture relaxes under my touch is an intoxicating feeling.

Then I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.

“We’re dating,” I say. To his mom, “I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay, Paula.” She regards me with a motherly smile. “I didn’t feel like it was my place to say anything to Ness, but I was hoping you two would get together. I wish you had heard the way he could not stop gushing about you after your adventure ended.”

“Mom.” Ness’s cheeks redden. “You don’t have to tell her that.”

“Aww, but I thought it was sweet.” Ness’s mom goes back to preparing steak. “Well, I’m glad that you’re trying this out. I think that you’ll be a good fit for each other.”

“Hear that, Ness?” Tracy says. “I bet even dad knew you should ask Paula out before you did, and he’s never met her.”

“All right,” I say. “That’s enough picking on my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend. It’s a strange word to come out of my mouth, but a pleasant one. And when Ness grins over at me, I can see how much it means to him.

Now that he’s by my side, I’m excited to see what the future has in store.  

Chapter Text

Jeff and Poo arrive soon after, and during the wait for food we catch them up about what happened.

“Sounds exciting compared to us camping out in a cave and hiding from Starmen,” Jeff says.

“He says after we had to fight dozens of them,” Poo says. “I suppose the bloodlust of the unenlightened can never be sated.”

Jeff shoots Poo a look, but for once glances back our way instead of taking the bait.  

“But seriously.” Jeff reaches over and gives both of our shoulders a shake. “I’m glad you’re okay. And now that Mary’s gone, I doubt we’ll be hearing from the Starmen anytime soon.”

“Trust me,” Ness says. “We’re glad we’re okay too. And I’m happy to hear things went well in Saturn Valley.”

“Ana was a helpful presence,” Poo says. “She wasn’t in a condition to fight, but the heals after battles and the presence of mind to lead civilians away from the Starmen were key to our success.”

“But enough about almost dying,” Jeff says. “It’s exciting that you two finally got together.”

I laugh. “Seems like everyone knew it was going to happen except for us.”

“That’s how it goes sometimes,” Jeff says. “Now Poo’s the only one left who’s single. Wonder how that happened to someone who is… such a joy to be around.”

“If you can get a date,” Poo says, “Then there’s hope for us all. Not that an enlightened Mu expert bases someone’s worth on relationship status, unlike a certain unnamed somoene.”

Ness’s raised eyebrow at both of them tells me he’s also thinking about how the two of them never stop bickering. Well, there are worse fates than them carrying on as normal.

Food is ready soon after, and we all rush to the table with the same urgency as when we were twelve. Tracy even rolls her eyes at how eager we are to dig in, and Ness’s mom reminds her that we must be starving after our gauntlet of battles.

“I have to ask, Poo,” Jeff says. “You don’t eat any of our food, with the exception of steak whenever we’re here. Why is that?”

“Partaking in foreign cuisines is a cross-cultural experience,” Poo says.

“That wasn’t what you said when I took you to that restaurant in Winters.”

“Because the food you eat in Winters does not count as cuisine,” Poo says. “Even Eaglelanders agree on that.”

“Compared to your rice gruel?” Jeff crosses his arms. “And I think it’s disrespectful that you’re treating the hard work of Ness’s mom as some sort of some exotic custom to try.”

“I think it’s worse how much of their stock you eat,” Poo says. “Steak isn’t cheap, you know. You’re singlehandedly bankrupting Ness’s family.”

I’m glad that it Ness’s mom looks like she’s enjoying hearing them talk. The wistful glint in her eyes makes me suspect she’s thinking about how we used to swing by during our adventures. All in all, it is good that Poo and Jeff have come out of their shells a bit since then.

My gaze catches Ness, and he grins at me. Right, they’re not the only ones who have gotten more open about how they feel.

Ninten and Ana arrive partway through dinner, and sure enough Ana whips out a bottle of fancy wine as a gift for Ness’s mom. They give a quick introduction of themselves, mentioning that we helped them and that they want to assist in return with PSI.

“Sorry for the wait,” Ninten tells us. “We went missing without any notice when Mary appeared in our dreams, so I let people in my life know I was okay. I got chewed out by both of my sisters, one after the other, while they made the same points about not rushing off on stupid adventures. As if it were my choice.”

“Sounds familiar,” Ness says, shooting a look at Tracy.

After dinner finishes and Ness’s mom has to insist that guests don’t help with dishes when Ana keeps pushing the issue, Ninten says he wants to chat with the two of us on our own. Poo and Jeff head off with loud goodbyes for everyone, Tracy heads up to chat with her friends on her cell phone, and Ness’s mom heads into her room to read.

As soon as the four of us are alone, Ninten and Ana sitting across from us at the dinner table, Ninten wastes no time getting into it.

“I have an offer for you,” he says. “You don’t have to decide now, but I want you to keep it in mind.”

“I told him to hold back on the serious talk for at least one night,” Ana says, “But he’s as stubborn as a mule. I apologize for him.”

Ninten shoots Ana a look, but continues instead of biting back.

“Ana and I are both graduate students at Ellay University, the top college back in our homeland,” he says. “Basically, getting paid to mess around with our own PSI powers and write some fancy academic papers on the matter.”

“Sounds nice,” I say, “Given that I bet you want to learn more about PSI anyways.”

“Exactly. The university’s bureaucracy takes some time to process things, but I got informal confirmation that we could put together an offer for you. How does automatic admission and a full ride scholarship sound? We can’t offer free dorm stay outside of need-based scholarships, but we’re also prepared to offer you research jobs. You’ll be paid for practicing PSI and checking in with us, which should cover food and housing costs. And the practice won’t be any more intense than what you’ll naturally do in day-to-day life.”

I exchange a glance with Ness, and when we look back at Ninten there’s tension in the air of who’s going to be the first one to say it. After a few seconds of silence, I decide to put it out there.

“That sounds too good to be true,” I say. “I mean, you don’t even know our grades.”

“I’ve been informed that neither of you are failing classes, which is all I need to see. And actually, I’m annoyed that the university can’t offer you anything more.”

“Is this your way of saying thanks for our help?” Ness says, frowning.

“To be honest, not at all. You are two of six known psychics in the world. Company and government recruiters will be knocking on your door the second you turn eighteen. Some of the corporations will offer you salaries of over a million dollars.”

“What?” the word escapes from my mouth. “That’s insane.”

Ninten shrugs. “That’s capitalism. It’s less than they pay their executives, and access to your PSI gives them an edge that allows for more innovation than even the most visionary CEO.”

“A couple questions,” Ness says, leaning forward. “First of all, who’s the sixth psychic?”

Oh, right. There are us four, Poo, and…

“Another high school kid in our land,” Ana says. “We met him as a baby, and he taught Ninten how to teleport.”

“That sounds impossible, but I did learn teleportation from a monkey.” Ness pauses. “This second question is more important. If psychics can get rich with their powers and a high school diploma, what are you two doing in school after you graduated from college?”

“And that,” Ninten says, “Is why I said I wanted the university to make you a better offer.”

“Personally,” Ana says, “I just want to get a PhD so that everyone has to call me Dr. Ana. Don’t you think it sounds nice?”

“Don’t be fooled by Ana’s… everything,” Ninten says. “Between the two of us, she’s the better psion and the better academic. And while I can’t speak for her on the matter, I can say why I chose this path. I set out on my adventure to protect the world. That’s what I will stick to until the day I die. And that includes stopping corporate greed and government militarism from turning our powers into weapons.”

I… had never considered what people in power might do if they had access to our powers. Their million-dollar salary deals are starting to make a bit more sense.

“The university system isn’t perfect,” Ninten says. “Not even close, in fact. But as long as your work is fundable, you can do whatever you want. For many people, that fundable asterisk means there’s not much more freedom than a corporate job. But our position is different. It’s easy to get million-dollar grants when we’re the only PSI researchers on the planet.”

“Which the university takes half of,” Ana says. “Greedy bastards.”

Wait, universities take grant money that should be going to researchers? And half? That’s almost breathtakingly ridiculous.

Ninten nods. “But they’re greedy bastards who don’t have the power to use our PSI to kill people. All we have to do is churn out some papers about theoretical aspects of PSI that can’t be used to hurt anyone while figuring out how to handle the more dangerous applications we figure out ourselves. And we already have six-figure-salary professor jobs lined up for ourselves. More than enough to live comfortably.”

“Right,” Ana says, grinning. “Professor Ana sounds even better than Dr. Ana.”

“Which brings us back to my offer,” Ninten says. “Companies will wow you with jobs that will let you get rich right out of high school. But I think those offers are empty. You can get rich off your powers at any point in your life, even as a freelancer while studying in college if you want.”

Damn, Ninten’s pulling out all the stops to convince us. And if he thinks that we have a chance of joining the military and figuring out how to create teleporters for armies, I can see why.

 “What we’re offering,” Ninten says, “Is a regular college life and mentorship. You won’t have many chances to be a normal person enjoying the simple pleasures of life when your powers have the ability to shape the world, you know. Many people remember college as the best years of their life, and you can have that without worrying about debt or living costs. And as your world expands and people want to use your powers for their own ends, we can help you navigate that.”

“But the catch,” Ana says, “Is that once you spend enough time with Ninten, you’ll start to imagine his stern look if you ever so much as think about selling out.”

“There is good you can do in the private sector as well,” Ninten says, “And if that’s what you want, we can work through that with you. For example, you can start a company that gives you the control to help people with your PSI instead of making you answer to some billionaire who failed upwards. The university can teach you about finances to make that happen.”

“But can they really?” Ana says. “I mean, you’ve seen business majors. How much do you think they’re actually learning in class?”

Ana’s comments do help cut through the weight of the situation, but that’s still a lot to take in.

“Both of you knew our names and age before we introduced ourselves,” Ness says. “And I don’t think you came up with this spiel in the hour in between Mary going poof and now.” He meets Ninten’s gaze. “You were scouting us before we even knew you existed, weren’t you?”

“And I won’t be the last,” Ninten says. “There is no pressure to decide now. As I mentioned, the offer is not even finalized with the university. But I have no doubt that it will go through on their end, and I hope you’ll consider it.”

Ness and I exchange a glance. After a long pause, he speaks up.

“I saw what greed and power did to someone I considered a friend,” Ness says. “I’ll need some time to think, but I like the sound of your offer.”

After he speaks, all eyes go to me.

“This land dragged me through the mud because it was more profitable for talk shows to rant against me than it was for them to show any respect. I’m not going to let myself be part of a larger machine, corporate or military.”

I see Ninten’s shoulders relax. “I am glad to hear it. I was hoping that as fellow guardians of the world, you would share our values. It’s good to know that I was right.”

“And being an academic doesn’t mean you have to be as stuffy as Ninten,” Ana says. “He brought me along to demonstrate exactly that, actually.”

“Okay,” Ness says. “This has been bugging me, and since Ninten heard our sappy love confession I have to ask. Are you two, like, together?”

Ninten and Ana exchange a look, and I can tell that they’re suppressing laughter.

“Ninten says he’s not interested in dating anyone, including me,” Ana says. “Guess he likes the idea of dying alone.”

“I never ruled out living with friends,” Ninten says. “Besides, you can blame yourself for me holding that attitude. The way you chase after every girl with a pulse looks exhausting. You’re lucky to be smarter and better at PSI than I am, because I swear you barely spend any time actually working.”

“Well, my adventures in that area are definitely not appropriate for the ears of children,” Ana says, “So let’s cut off the conversation there. Let’s give the kids some time to rest, hmm? I still think this could have waited for later.”

“Who knows when we see them again in person?” Ninten pauses, glancing our way. “But I hope I didn’t overwhelm you.”

“No, it’s good for us to be thinking about this.” After I finish the sentence, a yawn escapes from my mouth. “But taking some time to unwind sounds nice.”

With that, Ninten and Ana say their goodbyes, leaving after telling Ness to thank his mom for hosting. Ness lets out a long sigh after closing the door behind them, heading over to the couch and flopping on it.

“So tired.” He closes his eyes.

“I should let you get some sleep, then.”

His eyes flash open, and he sits up straight in an instant.

“Right, I never said that out loud. I want you to stay with me tonight, Paula.”

“Oh, are you worried about nightmares?”

“A little. But I’m also not sure if it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight. Can you come over here?”

I blink. It’s so uncommon for Ness to ask anything of me, even my presence. I sit down next to him on the couch, and he wraps his arm around me.

“It was worse when I was alone,” he says. “Remembering what it was like to not have control over my own body. Like Mary had sunk her claws so deep in me that I could never clean out what was festering in there.”

Yes, Ness was violated in a horrific way, and it’s no surprise that left emotional scars. I guess it happened to me too, didn’t it?

“What helped me,” Ness says, “Was being in your arms.”

He lies down on the couch, guiding my body as he does. I end up lying by him, by back against his chest, and he holds me in both arms. I feel his heartbeat through my shirt, strong as a drum yet soothing as a lullaby.

“It was strange,” he says, “But it made sense the more I thought about it. I couldn’t trust myself with my body, not after what I had done. But I could trust you with it.”

I snuggle back deeper into the warmth of his embrace. It’s more magical than any PSI I’ve seen, the way he can make my heart melt with a comment delivered in such a casual way.

“And if you feel that way too,” he says, “Then…”

“I do.”

Ness kisses me on the cheek. “Then I’ll hold you. I’ll be there as long as you need.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

As we lie there, I feel myself starting to doze off. I know we should move to his bed, but I don’t want to leave his embrace for a single second. And as I close my eyes and begin to drift away, Ness makes no attempt to move me.

Tomorrow, I can think about all that’s happened and begin to move forward. Mary, the Starmen, my friends coming back into my life, and Ninten’s comments about our future. The world is about to get a lot bigger. And as scary as it is, I am excited for what awaits after stepping into adulthood.

But for now, I’m in the arms of the boy I love. I can be content with that.

Chapter Text

Nine Months Later

Anxiety grips my stomach as I step out of the front doors of Twoson High School. And while it’s hard to recognize anyone since we’re all wearing dull green graduation caps and gowns, that makes the journalist all the easier to identify. And the person in front of her being interviewed can only be one person.

Sure enough, I approach to see Ness chatting away with the journalist as she scribbles down notes behind her camera setup. Ness spots me and waves hello, grinning.

Watching the way his eyes light up when he sees me never gets old.

I walk over to Ness, and he throws me into a hug before I can get a word in. I’m worried that the journalist will take the photo at that moment, but she lowers the camera and takes a step back.  

“Hey hey.” Ness releases me. “These graduation gowns look a little tacky, but of course you look good even in one. I’m about to get as green as this gown with envy.”

I snort at the joke. “I do get what you mean. I’m so used to your baseball cap and t-shirt that seeing you wear anything else makes you look like an entirely different person. Which means I get to work through how cute you are all over again.”

“Aww.” His expression turns tender. “I have lots of kisses saved up for the sweetest girlfriend in the world, but we probably shouldn’t keep this poor journalist waiting.”

Right. She has us get into position and smile before snapping photos of us. I hope I don’t look too distressed, and I remind myself that this was my choice. Ness was adamant that I not be dragged into any more news media that I was uncertain about after how Eagleland treated me in the past, but so far his reputation has been great for stabilizing my own.

And as I listen in while Ness chats more with the journalist, I can see why. He’s upbeat and jovial, talking about my accomplishments enough to paint me in a good light without discussing me so much that he comes off as lovestruck.

“Miss Paula,” the journalist glances my way. “I know you did not want to be the focal point of the article, but I am curious. You’ve endured struggles with a negative image over the years, and now you’re set up to be part of the prestigious class of the University of Ellay. Do you mind discussing how you got to where you are now?”

I can see that Ness is about to direct her away from me, and I put a hand on his arm to let him know it’s okay.

“It was about learning confidence,” I say. “When an entire country starts losing their mind over a fourteen-year-old kid expressing herself in a harmless way, it’s easy for that girl to lose faith in herself. But thanks to support and self-reflection, it’s clear that my skills speak for themselves. I’ve decided that the goth and punk styles aren’t my favorite, but even if they were it wouldn’t change how good I am at PSI.”

As the journalist jots down words on her notepad, Ness talks about meeting up for more details later, mentioning that there could be an update to the story of his college plans she’ll want to hear.

Right, we do need to get in touch with Ninten about that.

They settle on a time and place for early tomorrow, and I zone out until Ness is done and ready to search for our parents.

“If you want,” Ness says, “I can tell her not to include that quote.”

“It’s fine,” I say. “I know people will get mad no matter what I do or say, but when I’m with you I don’t care as much what people think about me.”

And my image is improving now that the focus is on my skills as a psychic rather than my status as a former hero. I know proximity to Ness helps with that, and he’s been steadfast in criticizing the way I was denounced for exploring new styles, but I’m never trusting the public perception of me to stay positive.

My thoughts are interrupted when Ness halts, and out in the lot where the buses park I see Ninten and Ana chatting with each other. Ana waves us over, and Ninten meets us with a welcoming nod as we approach.

“Aw, look at you all grown up,” Ana says. “Do you have any fun graduation parties planned?”

“We’re going to be spending some time with Jeff and Tony,” Ness says, “And there’s one with the baseball team that Paula agreed to tag along to.”

“Your baseball friends are a lot nicer than I was expecting,” I say. “Must be your influence as team captain.” I turn to Ninten and Ana. “What are you two doing here?”

“Checking in on you, of course,” Ana says. “But Ninten didn’t want to watch the full ceremony.”

Ninten raises an eyebrow. “And it had nothing to do with you catching the episode of that baking show before teleporting over?”

Right, I always forget that they can drop in whenever. I’m a little surprised I don’t see them around Twoson more, though I guess there’s not much of a reason for them to be here.

“Well, it’s good that you two are here,” Ness says, “Because we wanted to ask you for a favor. Remember when you told us that we won’t have much time to live regular lives as adults? That stuck with me.”

“Is that a good thing?” Ninten says. “Going to be honest, I have no idea where this is going.”

Ness takes a deep breath. “We want a gap year before starting college. You know, get to live our own lives a bit before we have to deal with grown-up responsibilities.”

“It’s better to let us know earlier, but that should be fine,” Ninten says. “I’ll call your house when I get it confirmed.”

“Right, you still don’t have cell phones,” Ana says.

“I had a receiver phone that could take calls even without cell service,” Ness says, “And I got annoyed by all the people bugging me once they started putting my dumb face all around town on inspirational posters. So I ditched it and never looked back.”

“Well, we’ll get you to join us in the 21^st century one of these days,” Ana says.

“Never mind that,” Ninten says. “Are you two going to work over the gap year?”

I exchange a glance with Ness.

“We might,” I say, “But we don’t have anything lined up. I know it’s good to get some work experience, but…”

“Not why I was asking. If you’re willing to meet us once a week, our research group can hire you as part-time staff. In-person meetings are better if you don’t mind teleporting, but phone call check-ins are fine too. As long as you’re practicing PSI or talking about it with each other outside of our meetings, we can bill those hours. Should give you money to have some more fun during your year off.”

“Um.” I look to Ness and back at Ninten. “That’s generous of you. I’m on board.”

Ness assents as well, and Ninten offers a satisfied nod.

“Oh,” Ninten says, “And don’t worry about working every moment of the hours you’re billing. Your salary will be coming from grants Ana and I got, and I’d give it to you no strings attached if I were able. I’ll keep you updated on if you’re giving me enough to justify the expenses in my reports, and if I say you’re doing fine then you don’t push yourself to work any harder. All right?”

Ana laughs. “Why am I not surprised that you’re even intense about getting the kids to relax?” She turns to us. “But really, don’t feel like you owe us anything at all. This is Ninten’s long con to get you as his graduate students. You should join my research group instead for a less intense work atmosphere.”

“Come on, Ana,” Ninten says. “At least wait until they get settled in after their gap year to talk about grad school.” Turning back to us, “I’ll get the confirmation and details about employment hashed out as soon as possible.”

That provides a good way to end the conversation, since it’s easy to see that Ninten is itching to get that done. At some point I need to send him a thank-you card for dealing with so much college bureaucracy on our behalf. Not to mention securing us a part-time job where we barely have to do work.

That thought lingers on my mind as we wade through the masses of parents and students trying to find each other. Before long, we stumble into my family along with Tracy and Ness’s mom, who must have been keeping each other company. Ness’s mom gives him a long embrace, while I turn to my parents and give each of them a quick hug.

“Ness and I are going to get dinner together,” I say. “And then we’re meeting up at his place with Jeff and Tony. So I’ll be home after dark.”

My dad’s eye twitches, and I can tell he wants to launch into a rant about how I need to respect the rules he sets as a parent. But neither him nor my mom argue. I can tell they’re still clinging onto the way that they’re more lenient than their own parents, how their rules aren’t any harsher than what their friends are doing, but they’ve been fighting me less and less over the year. It could be the freedom that Ness’s mom gives him or the way Ness can convince my parents that what we’re doing is normal and tame by teenager standards.

But I hope it comes from us alone, that they’re realizing that my happiness is more important than the values of their conservative parenting. I still love them, and I hope they can learn to love the person I am rather than the standards I meet.

I head back over to Ness to see that he’s still chatting with his mom. Tracy sizes me up, and then looks around at the other students and parents.

“Seems dumb that they combined the graduations for Onett and Twoson,” Tracy says. “We had to wait through so many names, and my mom said that she barely knew anybody.”

I laugh. “Word on the street was that Onett was too much of a mess to run its own. Guess their principal isn’t any more competent than their mayor or police department.”

“Yeah, sounds on brand.” Tracy lets out a dramatic sigh. “I have no idea why my mom dragged me along to this. I mean, Ness was obviously going to graduate, so this isn’t a big deal. Our dad didn’t even bother to show up.”

Ness approaches right when Tracy is finishing, and I notice that he pauses at that last bit.

“Hey Paula,” he says. “Thanks for waiting. My mom wants to wait until the whole family’s around to celebrate my graduation, so we have the rest of the afternoon to ourselves. I picked out a nice diner in Fourside with a sandwich menu that I think you’ll like, and there’s also a nice ice cream place and a park nearby. Want to go check it out after we get changed?”

I hesitate. “Sounds wonderful.”

“Or we can do something else,” Ness says. “I know I usually pick out the place, and I don’t want to be too bossy about where we go.”

“No, it’s great. I get to enjoy the dates without any of the planning, and you actually take what I like into account when picking places. You’re really cute when you get all excited about showing me something you think I’ll be interested in.”

Ness laughs. “You sound surprised that I want to take you on dates that you’ll enjoy.”

“It’s just… I haven’t anyone like that in my life before.” I pause. “So that wasn’t why I took a second to respond. You heard Tracy mention…”

He glances over, and Tracy is chatting with their mom. Ness looks back at me and takes a deep breath.

“I did tell my dad that he didn’t have to show up,” Ness says. “That at least for me, graduating high school isn’t some big accomplishment I had to work really hard for. And I meant it.”

“You’re still allowed to want him to show up to something of yours.”

“Yeah. But remember when you said that being with me helped you not care as much about your public image? This is the same for me.” He meets my gaze. “It doesn’t hurt as much when I know you’re there with me. You put in a lot of effort to help me work through those feelings, and they’re not so bad now that I can trust myself to share them with you. So thank you, Paula.”

And now I want to give him a big hug and start kissing him. A common urge that I try not to indulge when we’re in public, but he’s sweet enough to make that a genuine challenge.

“But enough about sad stuff,” Ness says. “I’ll meet you at your place once you’re changed and we can teleport to Fourside?”

I nod. “It’s a date.”

Ness grins, and I let myself bask in the warmth of it. It’s hard to believe I’m looking down an entire year where I can spend all the time I want with not only him, but all of our other friends too. And thanks to Ninten, we’ll be able to pay for all the fun activities we want. I’m indecisive about outings, but Ness has a never-ending supply of ideas from meals to movies to concerts to hiking.

And with no alarms to rule our schedules, the nights will be ours. I’ll crawl into Ness’s bed and feel his arms wrap around me, giggling as he covers me in kisses. Then we’ll fall asleep together, the stars a comfort that bathes us in a gentle light instead of a hostile land harboring enemies that poison our minds.

I spent five years running away from the world, and now that I’m done with high school it’s time to face all of its beauty and horror head-on. After all, adventures can only teach me so much about life on this planet. I have to experience it myself.

With the people I care about at my side, I can look at that horizon with a smile.