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"Dude, you gotta get your act together."
It was late in the afternoon and i was at a so called 'band practice. Stan Marsh was berating me for yet another 'failed' solo of mine. Just because he was leader of our band didn't mean he got to constantly decide what I and others could do. It didn't even matter if I missed a few notes or messed up on the timing anyways because my bass guitar would sound good anyways.
"Yeah yeah whatever." I mumbled, setting down my bass on the ground, ever since everyone else were starting up their own bands, it felt like playing was more of a challenge and chore instead of being fun and a silly thing a few friends could do.
"Kenny, seriously whats up? You can tell us." Kyle was sat on the couch, he wasn't doing anything but scrolling on his phone. HE was always the one to jump to Stan's defence.. We were all in Stan's basement, practicing for the contest that was happening at school soon. Since our band thing had evolved into more of trend, more people were joining in on it. It sparked a interest that nobody thought they had. Pc Principal thought that it would be good for the students to have a 'friendly' competition. I knew that if there was gonna be a competition, it would be full on war.
"It's nothing guys, il just practice that solo a little more when I get home, now get off my ass." I rolled my eyes and flopped down on the couch next to Kyle, watching as the 3 other boys of our band practiced in the basement.
The sky faded into a darker shade, we all were eventually gonna leave Stan's house.
"Bye guys." I heard Kyle yell as he left, Cartman had gotten picked up by his own mom a hour earlier.. the only people left were me and Butters, and obviously Stan. Butters sat nervously on the ground with his guitar in his lap, he looked troubled -- something I didn't like seeing in him.
"Whats up?" I uttered to the blonde on the floor, he noticed me and smiled for a split second before frowning again.
"..." He stayed silent before taking a deep breath, a sigh almost. "I have no idea how im gonna get home.."
"Did you tell your parents you were coming over?" I asked, I knew of his shyness and his home life. How often he got in trouble and how much it affected him. Sometimes he didn't tell his parents stuff, but instead he told me, it was sweet.
"..."
"It's okay. no need to be scared. I can walk you to your house." I offered, the last thing I wanted was for him to be alone out in the cold, waiting for his parents to notice him or pick him up. "Well.. okay then, thanks Kenny." he smiled, i could tell that he appreciated it. I liked helping people.
I didn't want butters to be alone out in the cold. Knowing how far Stan's house was from his, it would be easier if we traveled together. I finished putting my rented bass into its protected container. I slung it over my shoulder, "Ready to go?" I asked Butters. he nodded, he picked up his guitar. "Arighty. Bye Stan!" he waved as we made it up and out of Stan's house.
Walking on the sidewalk was pleasant, Butters was explaining to me about some things he liked, I wasn't paying much attention though, I had my eyes ahead of the road, watching as the sky darkened, the streets became more more familiar, how the peaceful air blew against more cozy orange parka. We neared Butters house. I was glad, it wouldn't get much warmer by this hour.
But I knew something was up when I saw the Stotch's car not in the driveway.
"Gee.. thanks for walking me home" he smiled at me kindly, he walked up all the way to his door. "Don't mention it." I turned my head away, it was kind of embarrassing, but along as he was safe.
He went to open his door, I watched from the sidewalk. I needed to make sure he could get in. The doorknob rattled as he tried opening it frantically. All the lights were off.. "Are your parents home?" I asked suspiciously. Butters didn't answer my question, still knocking and yelling at the door slightly. I went up to him.
"Hey, quiet down a little. Your parents maybe just went out." I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, wanting to ease him a little. He had a right to be alarmed, but it was the middle of the night. People were sleeping.
"What if they forgot about me?!? What if they left town without me like they told me they would?!?" I saw the panic on his face, the way his breathing became more erratic. "Butters.. Calm down. You can stay the night at mine." It was a half promise, I wasn't sure if my parents would be too pleased if they found out their son had a boy in his bed.. But maybe they weren't even home. I could sneak him in..
I saw a bit of relief wash over him but then it got replaced with anxiousness. "Are you sure your parents wont be real mad about that?"
"They're probably drunk at the pub." I used a excuse.
"What if I mess up your house? Gee... I wouldn't want to be a bother...!" My eyes tracked his every movement, how his troubled hands turned to fists, how he had a look of worry and guilt in his eyes, the way his breathing slowed. "You wont be a bother dude, your not staying out in the cold anyways, I wont let you."
And that's how butters wounded up in my room, my busted up room, it felt weird, my room wasn't really what you'd expect a 'growing boy' to sleep in, it was messy, there were stains on the rug, ripped up posters of hot women, not to mention the piles of magazines under my bed. But never mind that, the only thing that mattered was making sure Butters was safe and felt comfortable. "Take the bed." I crossed my arms. I knew that he would want to refuse, I wasn't gonna give him much of a choice. "You sure? we could.. uh.. you know, Share." he looked down, playing and teasing around his fingers. I swallowed, hard.
"Share?" I raised an eyebrow, my voice laced with suspicion, I brushed it off. My bed was pretty cold alone anyways, my blanket did nothing to warm me up. If butters felt comfortable with me in bed with him, then so be it. It wouldn't mean anything, it'd just be a little gay. I didn't care if it was though. I hopped onto the bed, he looked a little eased that I didn't mind.
The bed was a regular twin size bed, it was the bed I slept on every night. it was pretty rustic, the framing was probably worn down, it didn't have a backboard, the mattress was solid and stiff and whenever you'd move it creak. I wasn't too sure if it could handle 2 bodies on it at the same time.
Butters tucked himself neatly in the thick blanket. He didn't seem to be having any complaints or problems with my room or house in that matter. Which I usually wasn't really too self conscious about, everyone in school knew that I was the poorest kid. So what if I couldn't afford the nicer things like cafeteria lunch or heating in my bedroom. There were substitutes, like my bagged lunch or a bunch of cozy blankets.
I was okay. Even if I was dirt poor, even if my parents were raging alcoholics that constantly fought, even if I hated how I looked and lived, even If I knew that a hot lady with huge tits wouldn't magically appear on my doorstep, I would be okay. I had to be. "Kenny?" I heard butters squeak out. my gaze fell onto him. He was staring at me. I felt some blood go to my cheeks, the way he looked at me got me all nervous. Good thing nobody could see me due to my parka.
"Hm?" I mumbled, my voice-- of course, unclear and muffled.
"Thanks." he said, with a sweet smile. I looked down, the moonlight seeped through my fragile window, my hands on my lap. I was thinking, I was thinking hard. "You're welcome." I calmly said. I brushed whatever I was thinking of and layed down in the bed, Butters was still staring at me. I was trying to ignore it, but maybe he had something he wanted to say, I turned my body around to face butters, he was still smiling which made my chest tighten a bit.
"What's up?" I asked him, his smile then faded. "Nothing, I was just thinking." He spoke, his head on the pillow we were sharing. "About what? You can tell me." I replied, we trusted each other, we could speak to each other about anything. He then spoke up, looking down a little.
"Im confused, why are you so nice to me?" He uttered out, i didn't think this meant much to him. I was nice to everyone, right? I cleared my throat to give him a honest answer. "Cause I like you" I did, he was kind, trustful, funny and he had this addictive, alluring nature to him. I also felt bad for him, knowing that most of the guys teased and taunted him, especially Cartman.
"Like me? I didn't think that was possible." He said the first two words as if it was a crime for anyone to show decent human, sympathy to him, it broke my heart. I didn't know why the boys always made fun of him. Was it his naivety? That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, I liked it. His personality wasn't bad either. Next time I saw them, I'd ask, even if they called me gay.
"Sure! My dad says it's a sin to like boys" Butters continued, I noticed how his face looked ashamed and guilty. That's when I realized what butters dad meant, it made me feel a little annoyed. I never believed in sin and all that religious stuff, maybe it was just me, but I didn't care if what I did was a sin. I just thought that you should do whatever made you happy, what was the point of living if you were just bound to rules? One slip up and you'll go to hell. Liking boys? was no different, you should be able to love or like anybody.
"I don't care what your dad thinks. I like you." I said, I smiled. It wasn't like butters could see that. I took off my hood, I wanted to make sure he knew that it wasn't a problem for a boy to like a boy. I didn't know if Butters was gay, but even if he was, I didn't care. "Well, that's a relief, because I like you too!" He grinned widely. We were close, a little bit closer than I thought we would be. I could hear him breathing, I could see his eyes more clearly, I could see a slight scar on his eye. "You do?" I slightly muttered, I didn't want to talk too loud.
He nodded, he still wore a huge smile. We both stared in silence for a bit, at least until I had enough, I turned around in embarrassment. "Night." I muttered, making it less awkward for me.
"Goodnight, Kenny."