Work Text:
Love comes in different shapes and sizes. Not everyone finds love the same way. Someone can find love in a group of friends that makes them happy. A platonic love. Others find love in physical contact, like sex. A physical love. The only love that is defined differently for each person is romantic love. Some people think of romantic love as holding hands and kissing. Others think they are meaningful moments shared with that special person.
Kazuha likes to think that love is Kim Chaewon.
For Kazuha, Chaewon was everything to her. Her love, her friend, her best friend (don't tell Yunjin that), her soulmate, and most importantly, her everything. Chaewon was something irreplaceable. A cornerstone of your life. Something Kazuha couldn't live without.
Kazuha found it redundant to define love as moments or actions. Even words weren't good enough to define love. Love, for Kazuha, could only be defined as a person who brings those moments to you. Who holds your hand when you get nervous about a presentation. Who kisses you when you are sad and need something to lighten the mood.
Moments with Chaewon were something difficult to talk about. Kazuha had so many that she couldn't help but tell all her friends about it. Like the time she went to the beach with Chaewon or the time they played Call of Duty zombies for 11 hours together. Everytime. All the time. Any time spent with Chaewon was magical. This left Kazuha feeling warm and fuzzy.
At first, Kazuha didn't know what this feeling was. She was confused about what Chaewon made her feel. She asked her friends for help and they all said the same thing. "You are in love."
It wasn't hard to believe after reflecting on it. The way Kazuha would love it when Chaewon hugged her and would be sad when the girl eventually pulled away. The way she would drop everything she was doing just to listen to the other girl talk. The way she blushed when they held hands, even though it was a common occurrence. It was undeniable at this rate. She was in love.
Of course, Kazuha wasn't afraid of falling in love, but of falling in love with her best friend, who was a girl? She was terrified. Kazuha may have thought about women before and questioned herself a lot, but never this much. Not to mention that Chaewon was her best friend. Best friends tend to be more affectionate and touchy, so what if that's all Chaewon wants? Kazuha, the queen of doubts and what-ifs, decided it would be better to suppress the feeling.
This only made things worse.
Kazuha then decided to go back on her decision. Maybe she didn't need to neglect her feelings. Maybe she should just put some distance between her and Chaewon and pray for her feelings to subside.
Unfortunately, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
While Kazuha dealt with her inner turmoil, Chaewon slowly came to terms with something about herself. She accepted her feelings and decided to tell the culprit who stole her heart exactly how they made her feel. Chaewon had doubts that her love was twofold, but she felt that the only way to feel better about herself and get rid of her feelings was to get them off her chest. In that aspect, she and Kazuha were so different.
It was 2 am on a Saturday. The dorm was silent with Sakura passed out on her bed and Eunchae happily outside her room, spending time with her classmates. It was just Kazuha and Chaewon playing video games. Alone.
Kazuha was stressed because not only was she alone with her crush, but also because she was lying on his lap while playing Animal Crossing. Under any other circumstances, this would be incredible. Unfortunately, it wasn't.
Chaewon, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying the time. Kazuha's lap was comfortable and his game was quite fun. She thought this was a better time in her life. It really helped calm her down from the reality she really didn't want to face. She knew she would eventually have to tell him, but now? She was fine.
Then Kazuha spoke.
"Chae, I think I'm in love." Kazuha was unusually tense as she let the words leave her mouth and Chaewon noticed. "I also think."
Kazuha gave him a nervous laugh. "No, it's very different, I think." The girl paused the game and put down the controller.
Chaewon also paused the game and looked at the taller girl. "Like this?"
Kazuha let out an unsteady breath. She wasn't confident in her approach, but she might as well tell him now. All she can do is pray that Chaewon doesn't hate her and never speak to her again. "I'm in love with a girl."
"Me too." Chaewon was now looking at the ceiling. She couldn't make eye contact. Not now.
A minute of silence passed before Kazuha continued. To be fair, she was nervous and didn't know what to do. It was comforting that Chaewon liked a girl, but there were so many girls out there. How could she be sure she was the only one?
"Chae?"
"Yes?"
"What does love mean to you?"
Chaewon looked deeply at the ceiling. "Love is the moments I share with the person I love."
"Oh ok." Kazuha looked at the small eden green butterfly sticker stuck to her controller. Chaewon put it there one day while they were playing Minecraft. She said it was so that Kazuha could always remember her.
"Why? What does this mean to you?" Chaewon turned to Kazuha. The girl was still hyperfocused on the little sticker.
What is love? Kazuha thought for a moment. She knew what the answer would be, but she couldn't say it. She could? No, it was in the nose. 'But it's your only chance' her brain reminded her. Kazuha blew through her nose and decided to improvise. What was the worst thing that could happen? Well, Chaewon probably turned her into a ghost or hated her, which is terrible, but Kazuha didn't think about it. For the first time in her life, she acted before she could think.
"I think love is you."
Chaewon laughed. Wow, Kazuha was cheesy. "Okay, Miss Cliché." Kazuha patted Chaewon as she laughed some more. "Okay, okay, sorry. In all honesty, that was really sweet and maybe my heart skipped a beat when I heard that, but hey, you didn't hear that from me.”
The other girl nodded. "Chaewon, that means I love you." Chaewon went to open her mouth, but before she could, Kazuha continued. "Not in a friendly way. I love, love you."
Oh. "Well, looks like I owe Eunchae 10 dollars." Kazuha raised an eyebrow. "I made a bet with Eunchae that I could confess to you before you even accepted that you loved me. It seems like I lost because you beat me." Chaewon had a cute little smile on her face and Kazuha didn't know whether to kiss or slap the girl in front of her. So she did both.
Now back to the present day and nothing has changed. Kazuha is still in love with Kim Chaewon and Chaewon is still in love with Kazuha Nakamura. Sure they had their fair share of struggles, but they always overcame them and got better as a result. Overall, they were doing very well. Nothing could separate them.
Not even death.