Chapter Text
A few weeks after Laios' coronation, everyone in the group immersed themselves in their new routines: Chilchuck is now happily living with his ex-wife in Kahka Brud, Senshi is back to exploring natural dungeons to seek more information and help protect them, Laios is forming a new government with the help of his court to make the kingdom a welcoming place for any people and creatures to live in peace, Marcille as a court mage helps as much as she can with any magic related issues, Izutsumi is a free spirit still searching for a cure for her haunting but more and more she is getting to adapt to her new self and accept herself, and Falin, Falin feels like she doesn't fit into this new normal.
Ever since she woke up, something inside her was screaming at her that now was not the time to settle down in a particular place, that she had to explore the world, to lift her wings and fly, to be free. She tried to ignore that part of herself and be with her family and friends who had helped her so much. She felt deeply guilty that she wanted to abandon the people who had always been there for her, who had literally gone to hell in order to save her.
The internal conflict was becoming increasingly unbearable, affecting her sleep, her appetite and her ability to concentrate or be present. She only felt guilt and remorse when she was around her loved ones, and the more she tried to hide how she felt, the more obvious it became.
One night, as she lay lying on her bed staring at the ceiling, a soft knocking sound echoed at the door. She immediately recognized the distinctive sound the solid wood made when someone touched it. It was her brother, which she found very odd knowing that it was already quite late.
"Come in" She said almost whispering to try not to disturb the others late at night.
The door slowly opened, revealing the figure of Laios standing in the doorway. His face showed an unusual expression, difficult to decipher, which caused a knot in the young woman's stomach. It was not her brother's usual gesture, which increased her uneasiness and anxiety.
"Has something happened?" inquired Falin, nervously, as she fiddled with the edge of the blanket on her bed. Laios didn't answer right away, his gaze not meeting hers; instead, he seemed engrossed in the floor, as if trying to sort out his thoughts. "Come here, sit down," she added, sliding to the side to leave a sizable space on the bed, then patting the empty spot lightly.
Without hesitation, her brother sat quietly in the space Falin had vacated, close to her legs. Still not looking at her, Laios had his eyes fixed on some object on the desk. He was noticeably nervous and fidgety, fiddling with his hands as he frowned.
"Haven't you been able to fall asleep tonight either?" asked Falin, trying to make conversation. "Tomorrow if you want, when we're done we can go to the forest east of the castle to explore that area. I've heard there's a ghost around that area chasing away..."
"Do you want to leave?" interrupted Laios abruptly, his gaze still fixed on the table but with obvious tension. Falin was surprised by the question, but opted not to delve into its meaning and answered.
"Sure, the idea of going ghost hunting sounds interesting. However..."
"I mean leaving the castle" interrupted Laios again but now looking at her with a worried and anxiety laden look. Her brother almost never acted like this, he was visibly tense, his hands infected his right leg which was moving rapidly up and down making a slight thudding noise that filled the room.
Falin tried again to ignore where the conversation was going "Right, we need to get out of the castle so we can go to the forest" she said, trying to appear normal.
"Falin" he chided her in frustration, "you know what I mean." He kept his gaze fixed on her, searching for some sign on her face that would confirm his suspicions. Falin returned her gaze to her brother, scrutinizing his expression for some clue as to what he really meant. She felt distressed, so much so that she was squeezing her blanket tightly to the point of hurting herself. "You want to leave, don't you?"
Now it was her who was silent, as tears slowly began to blur her eyes, struggling to hold back the urge to flee the room. If she left at that moment, perhaps she could pretend that this conversation had never existed, if she continued to act as she always had, there would no longer be any problem. If she persisted in this charade, she could avoid facing any conflict. But for the first time in a long time, she no longer wanted to go down that path. She had grown tired of hiding her true feelings to please others, even if it meant hurting her own brother and herself. Something inside her had changed profoundly. She longed for sincerity and authenticity, she longed to be herself for the first time in her entire life.
She felt Laios' hand resting on her leg and, with her eyes closed, she let a few tears fall. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with air, as she listened to the strong beat of her heart, which was slowly beginning to calm down. Opening her eyes and meeting her brother's gaze, she answered with determination, "I think… no, I know I want to leave." She watched the surprise on her brother's face at her heartfelt answer, and continued, "It's not definite, but for a while I'd like to travel, find out who I really am without you or Marcille by my side, and understand where I am in my life."
While she paused, Laios remained silent, respecting her space to express herself. Usually, he did not tolerate long pauses in a conversation, but this time he wanted her to continue sharing her thoughts. "I've been reflecting a lot on my future lately," she began, her voice trembling. "And I just can't go on like this. When I think about who I was before we faced the red dragon, I feel like I was living a life that wasn't mine. I see myself trapped in a role I never chose, doing what was expected of me instead of what I really wanted" she admitted, as more tears streaked down her face. Gesturing firmly, she wiped her tears with the edge of her pajama sleeves and continued, "But I can't go on like this. I can't keep pretending. I feel empty, like I'm missing something. I have no idea who I really am, what I want in life. I need to find out, and I feel like I can't do that as long as I stay here."
"Falin, I-I..." Laios uttered with a sad look on the verge of tears rubbing circles on her leg.
"No one forced me to take on that role. I was the one who imposed that burden on myself," Falin assured, again wiping away tears. "And right now, I'm being very selfish to want to leave, when all our friends have tried so hard to bring me back. I shouldn't..."
"You're not selfish," Laios interrupted as he wrapped her in a comforting hug. "You're not," he repeated once more as he clung to Falin, his voice cracking with emotion. "For the first time, you're following your own desires. That's not selfishness, that's bravery. You're fighting for yourself, not for anyone else," he added with a tone full of sincerity. "I wish I could have fought for you like that."
Falin found herself enveloped in her brother's comforting embrace, and tears began to fall silently. Although she still felt tension and anguish, she sensed deep inside her a sense of acceptance finally achieved. Her voice breaking, she barely managed to articulate a "thank you."
Her brother parted the embrace to wipe away her tears and pressed his forehead to hers. "I'm enormously proud of you," he expressed tenderly.
Falin sketched a smile, though new tears clouded her vision. "I'm proud of you, too," she replied between sobs, as she wiped her nose.
"And if you go on a trip, you can send me letters like when we were little. You'll have to inform me of every monster you see," Laios suggested, with a nostalgic smile as he recalled the days of his childhood. She nodded with a lump in her throat, understanding the importance of maintaining their connection, even at a distance.
The rest of the night faded into a whirlwind of emotions and illusions. Together, they mapped out Falin's first few days of travel: the must-see places, the natural dungeons to explore, the dear friends she was to greet along the way, and the rich variety of exotic dishes she was to savor.
Time seemed to evaporate as they exchanged stories and advice, immersing themselves in the nostalgia of days gone by and the anticipation of the journey ahead. Neither of them closed their eyes, as if they feared that the simple act of blinking might make the morning come too soon.
It was a night that resonated with the same energy and complicity of their childhood, when they would spend hours awake, dreaming of epic adventures and fantastic creatures. But this time, the adventure belonged solely to Falin, and Laios would be a mere spectator who would always be there to support her.