Chapter Text
It was another beautiful night on Copper-9. A formerly thriving exoplanet of humanity that, sadly, met a grizzly fate under non-specific means. The grass was non-existent, the trees were withered decaying bodies frozen to time, snow littered a vast majority of the world, and the only population of living species consisted of the autonomous working drones, worker drones for short, and the apex predator on the pyramid scheme of murder, disassembly drones. Another toxic deathstorm was making waves through the atmosphere as thunder roared and lightning cracked through the brilliant darkened skies.
All while one single shape blitzed through buildings and skies, bright silver wings flapping across the air and sending the figure in question barreling to one building closest to an open street. Various mounds of snow, old department stores, and old cars littered the way of what was once originally life. Other than that, it looked like there was no real life left in this barren world.
Well, aside from two small shapes trudging through the snow and marching off in a hurry.
"C'mon, Jill! We can make it, we're almost there!"
The lead drone in question shouted, carrying something large in his arms, as his girlfriend in question ran right behind him.
"Oh my Robot God, Miles! Almost there!? We're thirty miles out because all you wanted to do was grab a stupid stuffed..."
And then the figure from the building clutched their heavy metallic claws against concrete and steel. The material shattered and shuddered beneath its grip as rows of sharp teeth glinted beneath moonlight. A large yellow cross expanded across his visor before the monstrous creature flung itself from above and dived like a missile, striking the ground inches in front of the pair with enough force to make the ground shudder and form a small crater. Heavy silvery wings expanded outwards and flapped experimentally as a steamy breath escaped the unnatural figure's maw as they whirled right around, claws stretched out as it tensed staring at the frozen duo.
Donned in black, a hat adorned its head...
An angel of death.
Miles had one moment to speak as Jill planted a hand onto her face.
"Miles, I'm breaking up with you."
"Aw man..."
The Disassembly Drone smiled brightly before swinging his tail forward and sending the pointed tip straight into the center of Miles' face. He didn't even get the chance to scream before he threw his hands into the air and opened his mouth, right where the pointed tip of the drone's tail punctured clean through the back of his head. His screen shuddered briefly, glitching in and out, before his arms went slack and the strange item in his arms fell into the snow.
The disassembly drone hefted Miles' corpse into the air and promtply flung his slag-molten face off to the side and through an old rustic car. He stared back at the drone standing there, rooted to the spot as the murderous machine approached her.
"Oh my Robot God, oh my Robot God... Oh MY..."
A single gunshot exploded and the back of her head splashed out into the snow. The disassembly drone's right arm was smoking as he dragged his machine gun armament back and blew the smoke rising from the barrel. His bright smile faded and a small frown crossed his features as he looked over the two corpses laid out in front of him. Well, only one seeing as he chucked the other one off into a car.
"...Yeesh, it never gets easier. Well, at least I got lunch for the day! Still, two drones plus... two more drones means I've got four! That's better than last week's quota!"
Well, it wasn't exactly by a lot, but he was pretty sure J wouldn't rattle him too much for getting such low numbers. Sure, he spent a good chunk of his time collecting stuff and reading through old tattered books, but who could say that was bad, huh? His wings folded back inwards and his hands returned back, flexing out before he looked over the object the drone had dropped earlier.
"I wonder what exactly is... Oh! Oh, I've been hoping to grab one of these for so long!"
N smiled brightly and dragged the large stuffed dog from the snow and brushed aside a smidge of oil staining the old rattled golden fuzz. He looked at the old beady eyes, one of which was missing, and the large floofy body that was dripping with bits of stuffing, and squeezed the stuffed plush close to his chest with a silent little squeal.
"Finally, I've got one of you puppies for the collection. Numbers might not be too big, but I think I can get away with keeping you home. Don't you agree, little buddy? Whaddya say, wanna come and join N at your new home?"
And with a quirk of his lips, he reached out and started shaking the stuffed dog's arms about.
"Yeah, totally! I can't wait to come over and have sleepovers and other cool stuff!"
He smirked at the ideal voice he had given his newest companion and slung an arm around the corpse closest to him. He'd need to bring some food home just to stock up on oil reserves for the rest of the team. Walking over and dragging Miles from the dented car door, he reached out and hefted his corpse into the air and above his gaping mouth as the warm oil poured down his throat. The taste of oil, despite the violent process, was the most delicious thing on this entire planet. Even if he wasn't like J or V, one of which who took more pleasure in killing, he could appreciate the oil.
Sometimes.
'I just wish they didn't scream so much.'
It was hard to hear the screams, but some part of ihm learned to muffle that away. He thought it was easier to just pretend they didn't scream so much and when he slept, he could have a peaceful sleep. The disassembly drone sighed and closed his eyes, feeling his screen go black for a second before peering back at the open night skies and the bright moon and planets above.
'Better get going while I can then. Wouldn't wanna be late for the next team meeting.'
Large wings extended from his back and N took a crouch, rising into the skies in one great leap and making his way to the spire.
J wished she could describe what being leader of her squad came with. All the responsibilities, the reports, the missions, and even their objectives, but it all came crumbling down when her two most loyal coworkers were complete idiots and slackers. Alright, maybe that was just being generous when she ignored one coworker in favor of the other, but still.
She pressed a hand to her hip and looked over some of the files on the ship. Most of which were currently still disabled barring the submission section where mission reports were updated towards. The rest of the vessel was, as it was, currently inaccessible. Hands behind her head, she brushed one across her hair and narrowed her eyes at the thought of the latest in reports.
"Leave it to company protoctol to stick me with N of all drones. I mean, really, what kind of idiot decided to put him in my squad to begin with?"
N...
How she almost loathed to say the name. It was hard to describe her feelings with him when all she wanted to do was keep beating him into the ground until he understood his assignment. V, the most dangerous of them, was a disassembly drone to the core. Even if she played around here and there, she still got the job done. It was why she never bothered insulting her. Granted, the whole feeding a drone's entrails and innards while their family watched was WAY too much information for her to deal with, but at least she got the work done.
N, on the other hand, was somehow the opposite.
He was nice, he was soft, and he always came back with the smallest amount of kills tallied up on the board.
It wasn't like she hated the guy. At first, he was pleasant. Sure, awkward, maybe a little too tall for her liking, and he had the most obvious crush on V of people who seemed like she didn't notice his existence or even his name. It would have been fine at first if he had just kept to the job, but as the days went on, he somehow got thrown into a slog. She tried handling things verbally...
"N, get off your rear and get back out there you absolute FU..."
She tried bargaining...
"Think about it, N. You get your kill count up and I'll get you what you've always wanted."
"Oh, J, really? You mean..."
"That' s right, stud. Branded pens!"
Granted, that worked for about half a day before he lagged behind again. Then there was the last option which was just violence and somehow that did nothing. She wasn't a sadist, but at some point it just devolved into stress relief. Maybe it was unbecoming of higher leadership, but if N wasn't going to work, then she was going to at least get something out of beating him.
Much better than O's squad from what she heard off some communication relay bounces. That girl had some serious issues when it concerned how she handled her squad's punishments.
"What's it gonna take? I can't even rip out his core... I mean, the idiot's just... An idiot!"
What would it take to get him competent? All she wanted to do was clear the leaderboards and climb up to the top of the company. That's all she wanted and all she expected from her squad was competence and somehow N was the only real dragging factor. It wasn't like she wanted to actually kill him. Maybe beat his head into the floor and kick him around sometimes, but wasting time for a new squadmate she'd never get until twenty four months? Yeah, fat lot of good that'd do her and the company wasn't going to be any more generous either.
She sighed and pressed her palms into her face and sighed.
"At least V's gotten to work on another small colony. I'll go check on her later, but I need to see if our usual liability's down and out."
A loud thump sprung from outside the spire and she quirked a brow.
Speak of the Devil and they might appear, right?
"Ah, biscuits!"
N hefted the corpse of the former living drone he had killed over his shoulder whole keeping the large stuffed dog underneath his other arm. Walking over and through the spire's entrance, he glanced around and smiled at the feeling of being home. A mountain of corpses to comfort the soul, not really, and the inside of the ship to provide some good sleep while housing a few of his knick knacks over his end of the place. He smiled brightly as he hurried his steps before looking over at the front entrance to the landing pod.
Right where an annoyed J was currently standing.
"Disassembly drone, N, you better have a good reason for being back four hours early. Did you fill out your quota?"
She crossed her arms over her chest and raised a brow, head canted to one side as N's cheerful expression faltered. A virtual bead of sweat hovered above his brow as he rapidly started shifting his vision from left to right. Mainly to avoid staring at J's increasingly growing annoyed face. He dropped the corpse on his shoulder to the ground and tried to keep the stuffed dog from underneath his arm around his tail instead, spreading his wings behind his back as the unnatural appendange coiled around the heavy plush.
"O-Oh, right... About that! Well, ya see I got a couple of drones today and I figured I'd come back before the sun comes up. Ya know, don't wanna boil alive and explode, r-right?"
J's eyes only grew sharper.
"Right, so about those numbers? How many, N?"
He had the decency to look at the ground sheepishly, kicking his foot amidst the snow and junk.
"Fouuuuuuuuuuuurish and a half?"
J's stare became deadpan in moments.
"A half? You managed four and a half? How exactly do you get a half?"
"...Because I technically ripped one up on the way over flying by with my wings?"
"So, let me assume I got all this down, you spent a majority of your night hunting down four drones and came back with one corpse to your name and... What the heck is behind your back?"
And it was only then that J finally looked below her squadmate's torso and legs to see something fluffy sticking out of the snow. She raised her brows and marched over as N raised his hands in the air.
"Oh, this? It's nothing! Just something I snagged from my hunt, so it's sort of a war trophy! Biscuits, right we can't go around mingling with..."
A harsh swat to the side of his temple and N's screen was blinking rapidly with various warnings before his wings folded inwards and into his back. He shivered the moment J's hand snagged around the tip of his tail and held it high, looking at the plush that seemed to defy her very existence with its beady eye.
Something crawled up the back of J's spine and her core felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. How she wished she could say it was because of love or something positive, but positivity was the furthest thing from her mind. She'd file this under a company notice later, but right now she was going to take some much needed aggression out of her system.
"C-Can we talk about this? I'm sure I can explain the..."
A single motion and J had ripped N's tail clean away from him and lobbed the limb a mile high into the pillar's upper walls as a loud shout escaped his mouth. She glared at the drone who shivered underneath the pain before she grabbed the stuffed toy in her hands as it flopped back down to the ground from above. Her left hand shifted into a single chainsaw as it revved up, mercilessly bringing the weapon down upon the creature's neck and severing its head from its floofy shoulders.
All as N watched his newest companion become the latest corpse underneath the spire.
"Sir Reginald!"
So, maybe he named it, but...
A harsh blow knocked N onto his back as J tossed the rest of the stuffed animal's remains behind her.
"If the company allowed it, I'd have you disassembled for another failure, N! You can't just spend your entire time goofing off and scavenging things from drones you kill! If the option was there, I'd have ripped your core right out of your chest and crushed it against your skull."
The breath was knocked out of N's artificial lungs as J smashed her heel down upon his chest. N, huffed softly as she twisted and ground her foot into his chest with enough pressure to crush his chassis. For anybody else, that probably would have been enough to squash their chest inwards entirely. For N, it was sadly just another Tuesday of his glorious leader trying to help and look out for his wellbeing. It was why he offered her a shaky smile the moment she removed her foot and stood above him, her tail being jabbed right at his face.
"T-Thanks, J... Always looking out for me! I appreciate it! S-Sorry about the dog, I w-won't let it happen again!"
The disgust on her face didn't change.
Sadly, that was the norm for him.
She should have taken her time and done more damage than ripping a tail off or mashing his chassis in, but that wouldn't get her much. Loathe as she was to admit it, despite her earlier thoughts, picking him apart would do nothing for her. She wasn't a psychopath like V and she didn't take complete pleasure in ripping N apart. Beating him was one thing, but turning him into origami or balloon animal shapes wasn't in her criteria.
'Sometimes I wish I was insane enough to go do the things. If beating him won't change it, then killing him would probably just leave us vacant.'
"Ugh, whatever. Pick yourself back up and get yourself cleaned before stepping back inside. Dump the corpse over and pour whatever oil's left in that scrapheap. I'm going to see if I can assign you to another section and hopefully, you do your job," J replied and pulled her leg away while propping her hands on her hips, her eyes rolling briefly to another direction, "Not that I'm counting on it either if this week's performance alone is anything to go by."
Maybe most people would have been confounded by the constant abuse, but it was hard to see it as such when all he ever did was screw up. Compared to his teammates, N was never really above the curve. He sat up and cradled a hand to his chest and sighed softly the moment metal started shifting once more. Having regeneration was possibly one of the best features the company included when you didn't count the numerous weapons they had on hand either. It was just the way of the world and the company for 'ole N and that was something he had to accept.
'I guess J wasn't happy this time around. I scored even lower than last month's list and now we're going to be behind quota again if V doesn't pick up the slack for me.'
It wasn't like he WANTED to mess up! He wanted to do good for his squad and he wanted to make J proud just as much as he wanted to impress V, but it wasn't like he went out of his way to hunt. Compared to J and V who racked up kills on kills to the point of piling up their spire, he had only ever focused on doing his job when it was necessary and when he ran low on oil. Watching one squad burn up getting caught in the sunlight wasn't something any Murder Drone wanted to consider and he certainly didn't want to die either. J wasn't wrong when it came to being a liability.
Out of the whole squad, he was the worst.
Maybe it was better if he considered a new tactic? Hanging around and waiting for prey wasn't so bad, but it never seemed to net him anything other than a few strays. Meanwhile, V was off probably bulldozing through entire quadrants whenever she found someone.
The rustling of J's wings came back to mind and N had to pick himself from the ground and brush away the specks of snow that clung to his uniform. His regeneration was already kicking in to make up for the damage done to his chassis, but it was something he had gotten used to. Some part of him wasn't sure how much of this was normal.
Getting used to pain didn't seem like something that should've been normal.
"And there goes Sir Reginald."
He sighed and looked over the stuffing that littered the snowy ground. Reaching out, the disassembly drone scooped up what stuffing he could and bundled it around his chest and stuffed it into his coat. Orders were orders, but he didn't want to just throw away the stuffed toy either. Maybe that was why he was such a failure? If he could actually do his job, maybe V would even remember his name.
Scooping up the corpse laid off, he hefted it back into the pod and made his way to the reserves to fill up. Looking around and hovering around the console, he watched J hop onto her end of the room and close her eyes. She was probably just bothered he couldn't have done a better job earlier. After all, she was just watching out for him in the long run.
'I mean, c'mon, I'm not that bad. What am I saying? I'm terrible. I just... Ugh, I suck! I suck so much! Biscuits!'
"Hey, uh, J?"
The disassemly drone opened her eyes one more time and looked behind her with a glare.
"What?"
Out of all the things she expected, she didn't think she would still see N kick his feet around with a sorry pout on his face.
"I'm sorry about messing up again. I'll try and be better, alright?"
She stared at him blankly for a few moments before crossing her arms over her chest and whirling back around in her chair.
"Whatever, idiot. Just fill up the reserves, alright? If I see that stuffing anywhere near my side of the pod, I'm going to beat you against the wall or something. Corporal punishment, alright?"
Well, it worked a smidge, right? He smiled briefly and walked off to another section of the ship with some storage space. The only thing they really used it for were the large barrels of reserves kept in case of emergency. There were some days where the planet's total orbit could be compromised, usually when the sun was out longer than it was meant to. Theyd idn't always have to worry so much about that phenomenon, but it did come up every now and then. N opened up a large panel and looked at the corpse of the drone he had shot earlier and winced.
'Maybe if I just pretend it's a cat I can make this easier?'
In the place of what he looked at before, the idea of a cat's head being lopped off somehow made the image that much worse.
'Nevermind, normal way it is...'
Flexing his right hand, N extended a single sharp blade out and chopped the drone's head off and watched the sparks and oil spill outwards. Lifting the corpse over, he poured the contents of their body into the exposed barrel overhead and watched as the black liquid slowed down to a trickle. He closed up the barrel and slid the hatch back into place before looking back at the body in his hand, shifting his blade back into a hand and gingerly poking their shoulder out of curiosity.
"Hey, N."
'I guess I don't know how to be better at something I don't like. This was so much easier when there were a bunch more and we could share the masses. I didn't have to worry so much. The screaming is so bad nowadays too. How does one person screaming make a bunch seem less? It's like watching a horror movie in first person except I'm the big bad monster guy too. D'oh, I feel like an absolute schmuck or some other swear word...'
"Hey, idiot? Talking to you."
'I guess I could go shooting, but J says that doesn't save as much oil if the parts are all scattered either. Does it have to be physically? Can't I just stick to shooting them? No, then some of 'em could just run away and doge too. That's not good either and it's no guarantee if it isn't a headshot either, but that's still super personal. What if I just...'
"Hey!"
A single concussive strike to the back of his head and N didn't know what happened right after as his face met wall. His screen flickered on and off before his body hit the floor in seconds, staring up at J's unapproving glance with wide eyes as she rolled hers about.
"Great, now I've got to wait until he..."
>...<
>JCJensons Property: Serial Designation N.<
>External Drives Uncorrupted.<
>Weapons Catalogue: Chainsaw, Submachine Gun, Claws, etc.<
>Optional Subdivisons Accessed.<
>Emotional Spectrum Meter.<
>Memory Status: ACCESS DENIED.<
>BiG BR- ERROR! ACCESS DENIED.<
>JCJensons Company Advertisements: Approved.<
>JCJensons Liasion: Approved.<
>Processing.<
>Processing.<
>Processing.<
>...<
>...<
>...<
>Vacation Days: Approved.<
>Systems Reboot.<
>Online in 3... 2... 1...<
"BWAH!"
N's systems came back online with a flourish and he found himself staring at J's disapproving stare one more time as she hefted the stuffed remains of Sir Reginald in one hand while wiping away some oil stains from the ground, lapping her tongue against each spot on her fingers with a small huff before finally planting a heel against his chin to raise it briefly.
In any other circumstance, N probably would have found the sight a little... awkward.
If it wasn't for the scathing look in J's eyes.
"I warned you about the stuffing, moron bot. You want to collect pieces of junk, do it on your own time. I don't care as long as you actually do your job. Now, get up and clean this mess around. That corpse isn't gonna be on me and V's not gonna..."
In a moment, N was back on his feet with wide eyed and a flush crawling across the screen of his face.
"She's coming back already!?"
J rolled her eyes and tossed the stuffed dog at her coworker, watching the way he whimpered briefly at the sight of his poor dearly departed friend, before nodding and acrossing her arms over one another.
"You've been offline for a while, idiot. Don't know why it took longer for your repairs to kick in, but it looked like it was a minor glitch. Congratulations, you might actually have a glitch too. You better hope it doesn't show up again. Maybe don't, because then you'll give me an excuse to kick you off the squad. Got that? I don't care about any of those weird subroutines either, so get yourself in working order and fast."
Removing her leg away from him, she turned around and strolled off as another figure slammed into the spire's grounds once more with a loud cackle escaping their lips. N took a moment to pat away his face before looking back down at the corpse formerly in his hands now lying right where he was before. That and the stuffed remains of Sir Reginald in his hands wasn't a comforting thought either. Still, there was something a little odd about that repair status that came to mind. He probably had a few minutes before J would hound him to get back to cleaning, but he could multitask!
Somewhat.
Carrying the corpse over his shoulder to dump it off on one side of the spire as J and V reconvened, he accessed some of his subroutines and looked through the inner workings.
"Well, let's see. Weapons, memories locked as always because I'm totally sure we're not repressing emotional trauma, and Br's still locked. That leaves the JCJesons filings, but that stuff's... Huh, there is an option here."
Tossing the corpse over onto the pile, not that it would do much from below, N paused to scan the file in-depth a little further as his screen flickered through subroutine after subroutine.
>Vacation Day Subroutine.<
>Serial Designation N has been designated as Squad Vacation Day Holder. All current affairs are directed to him and from him as necessary.<
>Vacation Day: As a gift from JCJenson from SPAAAAACEE!!!!, all disassembly drones and staff under company policy are provided one vacation day per successful quota expectations. The occupant of said supervisor in question will then hand them out accordingly as per the paid day off agreement established years ago prior to worker drone labor. Current leaders can hand this task as well to any and all drones deemed effective at management.<
>Serial Designation N has a total number of: 2,201 unused vacation days.<
>Please, enjoy on behalf of JCJesnon from SPAAAAACEE!!!! Be forewarned, vacation days are not paid days off on behalf of disassembly drones. Any further days used without prior confirmation from the company will be hunted down, plucked apart, and dismantled for further use.<
>AKA: You can't sue us.<
"Hey, synergistic liability? Get over here so we can discuss the next meeting. V's here, so that means we can..."
But J was met with a rather odd expression on her squadmate's face. V was already back inside, saying something about cooling off after not being fufilled slaughtering a family and making their son watch one by one, so she was here to drag N back. Instead of a dopey expression or something more puppy-like, she was met with a rather plain face. His eyes didn't change and he didn't seem to blink either, various numbers and the like passing through the screen on rapid fire before she reached out and slapped him across the face once.
It seemed to draw him back to reality as he blinked twice.
"Good, you with us? Alright, now let's get inside and talk the new sector I plan on..."
"Hey, J, did you know we had vacation days?"
"..."
"Because I just stumbled onto a file saying I have a bunch."
"..."
"...So, I wanted to ask you about..."
J blankly stared at the disassembly drone in her squad, the lowest earner of them all, arguably on the entire planet of Copper 9, and tried to process the words that came out of his mouth. It wasn't because she didn't understand, because she did. It was because the words were beyond foreign to her. The idea of a vacation was one thing, but a vacation day under the notion of being prepaid as well? It sounded absurd. It sounded like madness. It sounded like a company that shouldn't exist either, almost as bad as unions or unpaid layoffs.
So, what did she, a hard working company worker, do when hearing such blasphemy?
BANG!
Well, she could add killing N once today on the list.