Chapter Text
“Hia, I can’t go to university.”, Chay tried to keep his voice as stable as possible, he gripped the hem of his t-shirt, and choked out his next words, “I’m pregnant.”. He couldn’t even make eye contact with Porsche, he wasn’t sure what he would find there; disappointment, maybe even anger. Chay didn’t want to know.
He felt Porsche envelope him into his arms in a big bear hug, softly repeating, “It’s going to be okay.”, “Your hia will be here for you.”. A dam of tears just erupted within Chay, it went from soft sniffles to uncontained sobbing that wasn’t just due to his pregnancy but everything; getting his heart stomped on by Kim, the kidnapping and the whole adjustment to this fucked up world. It was cruel enough of Kim to sleep with him and use him but now he was also pregnant with his child. It all felt like some sick joke. Chay didn’t think he could face Kim again, especially since he had gotten knocked up.
God. Help me.
Porsche sent Chay to live with Pete’s grandmother for the next two years and made sure that Chay had bodyguards around him and a good support system. Chay also went to therapy whilst he was pregnant, and Porsche and Kinn, and even Macau, Pete and Vegas had visited him frequently while he was staying with Pete’s grandmother. Tankhun could unfortunately not visit due to the distance being too far for his mental state.
Surprisingly everyone was extremely supportive throughout Chay’s pregnancy and hadn’t asked questions about who might be the father, as whenever the topic came up; Chay became non-verbal. So everyone knew that topic was a no-go zone. Conveniently for Chay, the baby came out looking like him, same big brown doe eyes and pouty lips. She was beautiful. Sun, her name was Sun.
Despite all the hardships he had gone through, Sun kept him pushing. She truly was worth it. Sun had a bit of a temperament when she did not get her way, which was very rare as she was spoiled endlessly by all her uncles and grandmothers, Pete’s grandmother had unofficially adopted Chay, and whenever they brought the baby around the main compound, she had lightened up Chay’s mother and seemed to help her. Due to Baby Sun, his mother actively left the attic whenever Chay visited the compound. It had helped speed up her progress to becoming more humane and less like the shell of a person Chay had first been introduced to once they found out she was actually alive. It had been peaceful around the compound despite the occasional “business” deal that had gone sour but other than that it was smooth sailing. Until now…
Pete had boasted about his trip to one of the legitimate business expenses, the holiday resort. Pete had gone there with Vegas and Macau, he had gone in-depth and detail about all the little excursions they went to Khun Tankhun, Arm and Pol. Tankhun was reminiscent of the time when Kinn, Vegas, Kim, Macau and he had spent there on holiday together before their fathers had made them compete in everything or when they had gotten along before the petty dick-measuring contests. They used to be so close-knit, now Vegas, Macau and even Kim, Tankhun’s own little brother had become so estranged from the family. Kim barely even kept in contact with his older brothers as he was off doing his god-knows-what idol duties.
So Tankhun had decided right then and there that they needed to go to the holiday resort, he booked rooms and flights, and everyone was coming. By the next day, he made sure the mafia world would be on pause for the next couple of days, how? No one except Tankhun knew this had left everyone stunned as they only saw him watching his dramas and feeding his carp daily. Unbeknownst to the family, he still dipped his hand in the family business and their partners regardless of him not befitting the role of the head of the mafia. He had done it, gotten everyone on board with going on this trip, Porsche was excited since he got the chance to see his baby brother and his niece again, and if Porsche was happy then Kinn was happy. Kim had been more of a challenge but nothing a little guilt trip couldn’t fix, it was true; he had made himself scarce over these past few years and Tankhun understood it or so he thought, because their father had died and Kim was free to do whatever he wanted, which none of them thought they would ever get the chance to be. Still, Tankhun wanted to see his little brothers and see them relax a bit.
Lucky for him, the holiday resort was close to where Chay had been living with Pete’s grandmother and he would be there before everyone to welcome them.
Despite being Sun’s only parent, Chay had worked the bar at the resort after Sun had grown a little more. Even when he felt the need to play a few songs for the audience at the bar of the resort, it was only when his fingers itched to feel the guitar strings beneath his fingertips. Working at the bar kept him busy despite having an occasionally fussy toddler, it also helped with his confidence as he was constantly being pursued by rich businessmen or foreign attractive tourists, he had even spotted some idols he had followed before when he used to be an avid fanboy. Now being a fan of anyone left a bitter taste in his mouth. Chay had become a casual listener, very casual, to that idol. Not as casual as he would’ve liked but for now he would delude himself. For all he knew, Kim had disappeared off the face of the earth.
The last he heard from Khun was that Kim had gone on a world tour and was recording an idol survival show. Not that he cared. Okay, maybe he did care a little bit. It was only because of his other gay awakenings; Jackson Wang and not to mention Ten from NCT were mentors on the show, not just him. So who cared if he tuned into the show now and then? Honestly, it had been fuck Wik but now it was FUCK Wik in all caps, Chay had been betrayed not just by his first love but also by his idol, one of the only idols that he had looked up to, who inspired him.
Chay thinks that if he told anyone of how Sun came to be, he was happy to have her but the events that led him to her, made him look like such a fucking naive, stupid fool. Why would Kim ever be interested in him? It was all just some stupid ploy to investigate his brother, to make sure he wasn’t a mole or whatever he said. Honestly, Chay could get over the whole getting close to him to see if Porsche was a mole because he gets it considering Kinn has been fucked over by his ex in a similar way but kissing and sleeping with Chay and spending all that time with him, knowing how Chay felt about Kim and in the end crushing all Chay’s feelings and just leaving him outside his apartment complex sobbing was hard to forget, much less forgive.
A hard pill to swallow, his idol who he had looked up to and gave him strength to keep moving forward in his life had been a complete and utter jerk. Used him to gain information and a quick fuck. He was so fucking stupid. Chay knew better now and avoided any chance at a romantic relationship, so now and then he did find his lay by a guest at the resort which he had come to learn to take and not give, as he was so giving and naive with Sun’s father. He suppressed all those needs for a romantic companion and focused his attention on his daughter.
Until now, he made eye contact with Kim in the lobby while holding his daughter, shushing her as she had become fussy from being woken up during the walk from the car to the resort’s lobby. Kim’s features gave nothing away but his mind was buzzing away as he took in Chay for the first time in more than two years. Sun-kissed brown skin, he had lost his chubby cheeks and instead of being all gangly and awkward in his body, Chay stood with confidence with a baby on his hip as he tried to feed her bottle.
Out of everyone to arrive first, Chay had not expected to see Kim; he didn’t even know that he was also going to be with them on this holiday getaway. Kim looked incredibly handsome, even though his experience betrayed nothing of what he was feeling, his eyes sparkled when Chay looked at him. Kim had cut his hair from the last time Chay had seen him but it seemed as if it was on its way to getting back to its length from when he had been tutoring Chay. He looked good, that was something he couldn’t deny. Sun cooed at Kim, raising her arms out to him to be held, “Sunny, no!”, Chay had exclaimed and shifted Sun to his other hip, the one further away from Kim. This made her even more fussy and she started crying loudly, Kim snickered quietly but not too quiet for Chay not to miss it. Fortunately for Chay, Sun’s nanny and Chay’s friend, Earth came at that moment to take her off Chay’s hands, “I’ll put her down for a nap while you welcome everyone.”, Earth nodded at Chay for confirmation and took Sun from him, where she settled with him.
Earth rubbed soothing circles on Chay’s back, as he let out a sigh of relief. Sun had been very fussy and clingy on the way to the resort despite being used to the trip from Pete’s grandmother’s house to the resort. Kim didn’t miss the interaction between them, his eyes darting from Chay’s face to where that guy’s hand disappeared behind Chay’s back and the ease they had passed Sun between each other.
Was the baby Chay and this guy’s kid? How much did he miss? Fuck.
Kim felt his blood boil, jealousy flowing through his veins, he steeled his expression as he took in how Chay and that guy cooed over the baby as Chay kissed her on the forehead and watched how the guy disappeared with the baby down the resort’s elevators. He had no right to feel jealous, he was the one who let Chay go but he couldn’t help himself.
Before Kim could ask anything, he could hear the boistery of his other brothers and Porsche arriving, screaming out; “Where is my baby niece?”, with his arms stretched out. Which was clearly meant for the baby that Chay held a few minutes ago.
Well, that confirms it. Kim needed a cigarette and a drink, or maybe seven.