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Killua remained silent for a while, observing his sister as she scrubbed at her eyes. They were both seated at a table in the cafeteria, with ice cream set in front of each of them. Killua watched the vanilla melt atop his dessert, the milky white cream spilling down the glass. He felt himself grow tense as a drop fell upon the table.
Alluka sniffled noisily.
"Hey, listen—" he began but stopped short at the look his sister threw at him. They had been at this for the last half-hour, with Killua attempting to apologize and his sister silently crying in the seat across from him.
Killua sighed.
He picked up his phone and read his last message, "Just doing homework :P". Killua felt his mouth twitch. Gon had started using emojis more and more since they started chatting. Gon didn't have the first idea how to do it, strolling through his repertoire like someone adopting a catchphrase. At the moment ":P" was his trademark. Killua found it mostly annoying, but also strangely appropriate for his friend.
“That sucks," Killua replied.
"Yeah :P," came the response.
Killua bit down on his lip. His sister wouldn’t be any happier if he suddenly smiled while she was crying. He tried messaging Leorio.
"How’s it been for you guys? Do you need anything?" read his text from a week ago. Killua winced.
"Yeah, sorry. It’s been busy," he typed. "We had to run for a bit."
The reply came instantly.
"Are you safe right now?"
He felt his chest twinge.
"Yep."
He left his phone aside and turned his attention to Alluka. "Alluka," he hissed. She glowered at him, and he glowered back. "We need to talk, seriously."
"No, brother," she retorted. She wiped at her nose and took a spoonful of ice cream, though the cold seemed to hurt her. She soldiered on, feigning nonchalance. "You just want to make yourself feel better about this, and I don’t want to give you that."
"That’s not—"
"You do!" she scowled. "You're not the good guy here; stop telling yourself that.”
Killua recoiled at her words. “I wasn’t—” He stuttered to a stop. "I am doing this because it’s the best for us, can’t you see that?" he said, attempting to maintain calm.
"No, brother, I can’t," she replied, tears filling her eyes and her lips trembling, but her gaze remained fierce. "All I see is that you'll never allow me anything!" Suddenly, she stood up, clutching her ice cream. "Don’t follow me!" she warned. "I want to be on my own."
As she walked away from their table, Killua watched her go, feeling as though he were in a trance. Was he going to let her go? He sat down heavily, his mind swirling with indecision. He didn’t want to be the bad guy.
Killua absentmindedly took a spoonful of his own ice cream.
It tasted sour.
He found her sitting on a bench an hour later, no longer crying.
"Hey," he said gently, making her look up. His heart swelled at the sight of her, his little sister. He loved her so very much.
Killua sat down next to her.
"I'm really sorry," he continued, eyeing her carefully. "For what it's worth, I never meant for things to turn out like this, Alluka." He turned his gaze towards his clasped hands, unblemished except for the trails of subtle electricity scars traveling through his skin. "If I could give you everything you wanted, I’d do it in a heartbeat, you know."
The park they were in was beautiful, full of laughter and the chirps of birds. It reminded him of a peace long gone, a moment lost in easier times.
"I do," she said quietly. "And I was being unfair too." She sighed.
"Not really," he replied. "I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that."
Alluka hummed. "I shouldn’t have blamed you for all this."
"You didn’t, though."
"I sort of did," he heard her say.
Killua pondered on that. Wasn’t that the case though? It was true Illumi was the one making it impossible for them to lead a normal life, not Killua. But Killua was the one who forbade Alluka from talking to people he didn’t know; he was the one who made it impossible for her to try new things. And wasn’t that the worst? Considering Alluka and her past, and all that their family had forced her through.
Killua didn’t want to be like them.
A hand embraced his, and he looked at Alluka, who smiled softly at him.
He gazed into her blue eyes, so like his but so different too. He wanted her to be happy so badly.
"I’m sorry for what I said earlier, brother," she said.
He didn’t deserve that apology. He returned her smile anyways.
"I have no clue."
Killua watched as Bisky skilfully braided Alluka's long hair. Despite his efforts, he knew very little about hair care, and Alluka wasn’t any better, so Bisky was welcome company.
The three of them sat on the beach under a parasol, seeking refuge from the merciless sun. Apart from the occasional gull and scuttling crab, they had the shoreline to themselves.
"You should stick around for a bit," Bisky suggested, catching Killua's attention.
"Do you mean that?" he asked, peering at her over his glasses.
"I do," she replied, her tone almost scolding, before turning to Alluka with a gentler voice. "Wouldn't you like to stay with me for a few days, sweetie?"
Alluka began to nod before a tug from Bisky made her stop. "Yes," she said aloud instead. "I like it here."
"Perfect," Bisky said, finishing the braid and tying it with a ribbon. "All done, princess. You're free to go."
Alluka sprang to her feet, grabbing her floater, and turned to them with a bright smile. "Bye!" Then she dashed towards the shore, laughter trailing behind her. Killua wasn't worried; he had taught her to swim a year ago, and she was quite proficient.
"So," Bisky began. "You really have no idea where he is?"
Killua glanced back at her. "No, I don't," he sighed, leaning on his knees. "I lost Illumi's trail in Yorbia. Hopefully, that means he lost ours too."
Bisky hummed in acknowledgment, and they both watched Alluka play in the water, knowing she would likely get sunburned later. But they had time to deal with that. Killua had noted that Illumi tended to steer clear of certain individuals, and Bisky happened to be one of them. Killua guessed that Illumi probably sought to avoid antagonizing the Hunter Association, and Bisky's high-ranking status made her someone Illumi wouldn't easily dismiss.
It also crossed his mind that Bisky's formidable strength might deter Illumi, though Killua doubted his family fully grasped the extent of his teacher's power. Regardless of the reasoning, the bottom line was clear: Illumi wouldn't approach them if they remained under Bisky's protection.
And although Killua was reluctant to exploit this situation for fear of alerting Illumi, he had long wanted to fulfill one of Alluka's desires.
"I've been thinking," Killua said, breaking the silence. Bisky looked at him quizzically. "I want Alluka to learn Nen."
Bisky's eyes widened in surprise. "Why on earth—" she started but stopped when she saw Killua's expression. "I see," she said quietly. "Do you plan to teach her yourself?"
"Can I?" he asked, surprised. He had expected that by now Bisky would have inferred his plan for her to teach Alluka herself.
"Can you?" Bisky replied with a crooked grin. "At the very least, you'll spend more time with her than I will."
"So, you won't teach her?" Killua frowned.
Bisky shook her head. "I care about you, kiddo, and I'll help if you ask, but there are things I simply won't do. Not for you or anyone else."
"Why not?" Killua scowled.
"I lack patience," she admitted with a smile. "I teach, yes, but not beginners. It's not in my temperament."
Killua understood. He didn't want Alluka to go through the same struggles he and Gon did when learning Nen. If she was to learn, she needed proper guidance. "I'm not sure I can teach her," he confessed.
"Why not?" Bisky echoed him, seeming offended, and Killua couldn't help but smile.
"I suspect her case is going to be far more troublesome than mine and Gon’s," he sighed. "What if something goes wrong and it’s my fault?" he asked, his mind drifting to visions of long tendrils of black Nen stretching towards the sky.
"You can call me then," Bisky interrupted his thoughts. "Like I said, I won’t refuse if you need help."
Killua nodded slowly, unsure if he felt reassured or not.
"Brother!" Alluka called out. "Come play in the water with me!" she yelled.
Bisky chuckled. "Go on then, big brother."
Rolling his eyes, Killua stood up and removed his shirt and glasses.
"Brother!" Alluka called again.
"I'm coming!" he shouted back, already anticipating the impending sunburn.
"Killua," he heard Bisky say, and he turned to her. "You will do great, trust me." His mouth felt dry, and he stared at his teacher dumbfounded, unable to find the words to respond. "Now go play with your sister, you rascal. Don’t keep her waiting any longer!"
With a huff, he turned towards the shore.
"I hope you’re ready!" he yelled at Alluka and smiled when she giggled.
Maybe Bisky was right.