Work Text:
Toya woke up at 2:21 A.M. with a nightmare fresh in his head, a mind that felt smaller than it had in weeks, and a small wet patch underneath of him.
Of course, the first thing he noticed was the nightmare, causing him to awaken gasping for air with tears stinging in his eyes. He knew he had nightmares sometimes when he got too stressed, and he had been working a bit harder than usual on music for Vivid BAD SQUAD's next show (he really hoped that Akito wouldn't realize his "I'll get to bed in a moment"s were starting to turn into him staying up much later than he did), but he didn't think that it would get this bad again, especially since his life was arguably better than it had been in years. He was in college, living with an apartment with the rest of his team, putting on shows and learning more about the things he was passionate about, and yet no matter how far he got away from his father the echo of a shouting voice against the harmony of a piano still haunted him from time to time.
Normally, he would be able to shake off these nightmares just fine, maybe he'd need a few moments to clear his head, and if they were especially bad he'd end up waking up Akito for some cautiously-requested comfort, but this felt different. He want to cry, to sob, to cling onto someone, anyone, and never let go. He wanted someone to make sure he would always be safe, to hold him close in their arms, to comfort him like something within him desperately wished they would-
It shocked him how long it took for him to realize he was regressed.
In hindsight, Toya wouldn't be surprised. He hadn't been little in weeks, and he'd been working harder than usual, of course he'd wind up feeling this way. At this moment, though, none of this logic crossed through his mind. All he knew is that he felt icky and he wanted Aki to make it all better.
Thankfully, Akito was in the bed right beside him, so Toya rolled over to wake him up, only to suddenly freeze.
...Why was the bed wet?
At first, he thought that maybe it was just sweat (his nightmare was really scary...), but the realization of what it really was threw him into a silent panic. Akito normally got him into a pull-up before bed when he was small just in case, but he had fallen asleep big, and now the blankets were all wet. Toya had realized this little issue he had while little sometimes before moving in with him, so this was the first time something like this had happened.
Perhaps it was because of his nightmare, but Toya's thoughts couldn't help but begin to race. He got him and Akito's bed all gross, he was gonna be mad at him, and Kohane and An were right across the hall and they were gonna be mad too, everyone was gonna yell at him and kick him out and he'd have to live with Papa again and-
A voice that sounded oddly calming in the back of his mind told him to take deep breaths. It sounded like Akito's or Tsukasa's, safe and comforting, so he couldn't help but listen to it.
Once he managed to slow his heart a bit and breathing felt a bit less like a fight (he couldn't get his tears to stop though, so it seemed that one of his tasks right now was to make sure no one could hear him crying), he tried to figure out what to do about this without waking anyone up. Could he get the blankets off without alerting Akito? He probably couldn't, he'd definitely feel it. Even if he could, the process of finding new clothes and sheets, getting everything into the wash, and making the bed up again felt incredibly daunting for such a little one. Even thinking of how to do those things made his head spin, there were so many steps and so many mistakes he could make...
Toya braced himself. He'd have to wake up Akito. Even though he'd surely be upset with him, he couldn't fix everything without him.
Slowly trying to get out of bed, Toya couldn't help but notice how badly he was shaking, how tricky walking seemed, how his breath hitched in his throat. Normally when he was scared, one of the others would help him feel better, but what was he supposed to do when they were what he was scared about?
He glanced over to his nightstand and noticed the stuffed bunny Tsukasa and Saki had gotten him sitting on top of it. He felt relieved that he hadn't been sleeping with it that night, he'd never forgive himself if he'd gotten his beloved plushie dirty. Plus, it would always be here for him, so even if the others kicked him out he wouldn't be completely alone.
With a nervous sigh, Toya walked over to Akito's side of the bed, and froze once he realized what he was about to do. It felt like he was at the top of a diving board about to dive down hundreds of feet (not that he had ever done such a thing, seeing as he both was afraid of heights and couldn't swim, but he assumed this was what it would feel like). Certain doom was waiting for him, he couldn't escape it, but he would have to sentence himself to it. If he wanted to, he could run away right now, and Akito would never know what happened, but that would just make things even worse.
He choked out a sob at the fate that seemed to await him. Aki looked so happy and peaceful, and now he was gonna wake him up and he'd see how icky and bad he was, then he'd hate him and decide he didn't want to be his partner, his boyfriend, his caregiver anymore, and it would be all his faul-
Akito rolled over in his sleep with a grumble. Did he wake him up? His thoughts devolved into pure anxiety and fear as the ginger opened his eyes, multiverses of worst-case scenarios running through his mind; Akito yelling at him, berating him, hurting him, they wouldn't stop, and he couldn't help but cry harder. If he wasn't soaking wet and terrified of what would happen if he did, Toya would cling to his caregiver and never let go, begging to stay.
"Toya? What are you doing up?" Akito sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"A-Aki..." Speaking felt difficult. It always did while he was small, but this was different, as if anything he said would make things worse.
Akito looked up at the little one with an ever-increasing look of concern as he realized more about the situation. "Hey, are you crying? What's wrong, bud?" He knew his partner was small, the signs were always obvious to him, and he could tell he was upset, but what could have happened to make him end up like this?
Toya could only reply with a whimper, hiding his face with one of his hands, flinching as Akito turned on the lamp by their bed, making what had happened clear as day.
"Oh, did you have an accident, Tou?" Akito's voice was warm and caring, just like always, and Toya didn't understand. He was supposed to be mad, he was supposed to be yelling at him right now, but he wasn't. Was he waiting to? Was he lying? The conflicting feelings in his mind mixed like oil and water, fighting with each other and only making him feel worse. As he broke down into more intense tears, Akito had gotten up and put his arms around him, making everything somehow feel both better and worse.
"Shh, it's okay, little guy, it's okay," Akito whispered to him in a calm and comforting tone, running his hand up and down his back. "I'm not mad, it was just an accident, it'll be okay."
Toya couldn't help but begin to cry into the other boy's shoulder. He felt safe, cared for, and he didn't quite understand why. He made a big mistake, and him and the bed were all gross now, yet Akito was still being so nice to him. The thoughts that this was a lie were shoved away for the moment as tears that were long held back spilled out. Even if his care was fake, it was care nonetheless, what he'd been craving deep down all this time.
After a few minutes of Akito's loving words, he'd managed to calm down a bit, choking sobs slowing into occasional sniffles, rivers of tears drying into scattered raindrops.
"There we go, feeling a bit better?" Akito asked with a warm smile.
With a bit of hesitation, Toya nodded. Insecurity and anxiety still bled into his thoughts to an extent, but they were starting to be overpowered by the comfort Akito gave him. It was like the change from high to low tide - his worries were still there, but they were receding away from the shores of his mind.
"I'm so glad, baby blue." Akito gave Toya a small kiss on the forehead. "We're gonna take a quick bath, alright?"
Toya nodded once again, starting to suck on his thumb a bit.
"Oi, that's not good for you, kiddo," Akito said as gently as he could, slowly moving Toya's hand away from his mouth. "I'll get you your paci once you're all clean, okay?"
Toya let out a small whine of annoyance, though he didn't really mean to. He didn't want to do anything that could possibly bother Akito, but it was helping him feel better!
"I know, I know," Akito replied sympathetically, though a hint of amusement still traced his voice as he walked with his little to their apartment's bathroom. "Do we need to change the sheets too, bud?"
An embarrassed hum and a nod from Toya, squeezing his eyes shut in fear of how he'd react.
"It's okay, Toya, it's really not a bother." At this point the duo had reached their destination, Akito taking out the things the regressed boy would need for his bath. Some body wash, bubble bath, and a few toys (maybe Toya didn't need the last two things, but Akito could tell that he was still pretty upset, and he wanted to do all he could to help his little one smile again). "It was an accident, you couldn't help it, I really don't mind. All I want is to help you feel better, okay?"
Toya's eyes glittered in a way Akito rarely saw from him once he said this, and a feeling he couldn't understand brewed within the little one's tummy. This was, safety, right? A feeling of being loved and cared for. A feeling he rarely felt during his actual childhood, but one he felt more often than ever these days, thanks to Kohane, An, Tsukasa, Saki, and especially Akito.
Somehow, this simple act of relieving some of his stress made the boy slip even smaller, as his thumb ended up back in his mouth (Akito didn't have the heart to tell him no this time) as he was helped out of his clothes.
After a few minutes, Toya heard the faint sounds of conversation and footsteps from another part of the apartment. He didn't quite focus on it though, as his attention was taken up by the slow forming of bubbles as Akito got his bath ready, how the water fell from the faucet to the rising liquid in the tub below, how his toys bobbed up and down in the small waves. Little things like this always captivated him while he was regressed, pulling him in like hypnosis, something Akito couldn't help but laugh a bit at (though Toya was also too distracted to notice this as well).
His attention was pulled away eventually, when a small knock on the bathroom door and a groggy voice became clear to him.
"Oii, what are you two doing up so late?" It was An, rubbing her eyes and messing with her hair as she leaned against the doorway. In Toya's mind she looked a bit silly before she'd done her hair in the morning, but she was still An, and she still made him quite happy.
"Nana?" he babbled as Akito helped him into the tub.
"Oh, Toya's regressed, and he had a bit of an accident," Akito explained. "Also, don't just come barging in? He's not decent."
"You act like I haven't seen him like that before," An teased back. "I'm his favorite babysitter after all, right Tou-Tou?"
Toya nodded a little, though he was still a bit apprehensive. Nana wasn't mad either? How was that possible?
"What's going on?" Toya heard Kohane ask from the hallway.
"Toya's small and wet himself, so Akito's giving him a bath," An replied.
"Ah, poor thing, is there anything I can do to help?" Kohane's voice was soft and sympathetic, and even without her in the room Toya felt safer. It was like one after another his fears were being debunked, he'd expected that he would be kicked out by now, but he wasn't, he was being met with nothing but compassion and love. It felt so foreign to him yet so normal, so surprising yet so much like home.
"Hey, doing okay, little guy?"
He must have been spaced out whilst staring at the bubbles, as Akito was looking at him with a somewhat playful smile as he'd been helping clean him up.
"Ah, mmm," he nodded with a small grin. "Ha-ppy..." Words were difficult, but he wanted Akito and the others to know that he was feeling nice again. He still felt a bit gross, a bit shaken up, but he was with the people he loved, evidence of them doing so surrounding him no matter what.
Akito couldn't help but beam at his little. "I'm so glad, Toya." He continued to help wipe Toya down with the washcloth in his hand, in a way that made him feel more like he was being massaged than being scrubbed clean.
Toya giggled a bit, moving the bubbles around in the bath, before looking up at his caregiver. "Aki happy?"
Akito paused. Toya always seemed to ask these sorts of things when he was small, if he was doing well he wanted others to be too. It was endearing to him, very close to the top of the list of things he loved about taking care of Toya.
He smiled. "Yeah, I am."
Toya couldn't help but coo and babble in reply, splashing around a bit in the tub.
Around the same time, An returned to the bathroom, clothes in her arms for him.
"Nana~" Toya waved at her from his spot, sparking a giggle from her.
"Hey little pup!" She used that nickname for him a lot when he was regressed, with the reasoning that "if he's a BAD DOG when he's big, he's a puppy when he's small!" Akito said it was embarrassing, but it never failed to make Toya happy, so she continued to use it nonetheless. "I've got some clean clothes for you for when you're all washed up!"
She then turned over to Akito and spoke in a somewhat quieter voice. "I assumed you'd want him in a pull-up after this, so I grabbed one of those too."
"Yeah, thanks," Akito nodded.
Toya couldn't help but pout a bit, he'd somehow managed to forget what had led him to this moment in the first place (fascinating, really, the fact he was small enough to have forgotten why he was taking a bath at 2:53 in the morning). He didn't get embarrassed often when he was regressed, but being reminded of something like this could shake even what seemed too small to be shakeable.
After a few moments of lightly blushing shame, the little felt something poking against his back, turning around he found...a shark? A rubber toy shark, in An's hand, but still a shark nonetheless.
"Aaa?" he squeaked out a confused babble.
"Oh no, Toya, you're getting attacked by a shark!" she giggled, kneeling down on the floor next to Akito by the bathtub. "What are you gonna do?"
"Aaa!" he smiled, making small noises once again. He then took the toy out of An's grasp, stared at it for a moment, and then began to chew on it.
"Ah, bite it before it bites you, very smart Tou-Tou!" An beamed in response, patting the boy on the head before moving to get up.
"I don't know if it's that or if he's just teething on it..." Akito sighed with a grin. "He seems happy though."
After finishing up giving him his bath not too long after this exchange, Akito got Toya out of the tub, drying him off with a fluffy towel before getting him dressed. If Toya had felt bothered by the protection Akito had changed him into, it was immediately forgotten by the pajamas An had grabbed for him.
It was a onesie Kohane had gotten him not too long after she learned he regressed, a fuzzy brown one with a eared hood that made him look just like a teddy bear. It was incredibly comfortable, and it always made him feel smaller.
The little one cooed a bit as Akito got him into his pajamas, zipping up the onesie and pulling the hood over Toya's head.
"There we go, all clean," Akito smiled at him, the warmth his caregiver gave off with his presence not helping him feel any less small.
Toya wordlessly raised his arms up. Looking at Akito and doing grabby hands, it was obvious to the warm-haired boy what he wanted.
"Ah, uppy time?" Akito asked, picking Toya up as he said it since he knew the answer already. The little one rested his head onto Akito's shoulder, wrapping his arms around the other boy.
"Now, let's get you back to bed, alright?" Akito continued, giving him a forehead kiss.
"Nnn..." Toya hummed with concern. They couldn't, right? It was stil-
"Kohane's fixing the bed up, don't worry."
...Aki could read his mind!
The two made their way back to their bedroom, and sure enough, Kohane was finishing up putting new blankets and sheets onto the bed, looking up at them with a smile when they came in.
"Ah, all better Toya-kun?" she asked, her voice warm and comforting.
A brief pause, then a nod. Not only was everything cleaned up, but he was with people that loved him unconditionally, who were there to help him feel safe and happy no matter what. Yes, he was all better.
"Hehe, I'm glad." Kohane then thought for a moment, before grabbing a certain plushie of his off of the nightstand. "Do you want your bunny? He heard you were sad and wanted to help you cheer up."
Toya gasped, his face lighting up. "Bun!"
As Akito set Toya down on the bed, Kohane gave him the stuffed animal, which he immediately hugged tight with a satisfied squeak.
Akito couldn't help but laugh a little at how happy Toya seemed. "What do we say, Tou?"
"Ankoo~" he quietly said, almost in a sing-songy voice.
"Hehe, no problem little one," Kohane giggled. "Is there anything else you think he'd need, Akito-kun?"
"Hmm, maybe his pacifier?" he replied. "I can get it though, you don't have to."
"It's okay! If I can help him feel better I'd like to." Kohane walked over to the bedroom's dresser. "His little stuff is in the bottom left drawer, right?"
"Mhm." Akito nodded to Kohane, before looking down at Toya, whose eyelids had started to become heavy as he laid down a bit on the bed. "Ready to go back to sleep, kiddo?"
Toya whined a bit, pouting as he held his bunny tighter.
"I know, but it's really late, and we all need some rest," Akito explained, running his hand through Toya's hair. "Don't worry, we're here for you, we'll keep you safe and protected."
Another small noise, though it was getting closer to a satisfied hum than a complaint. "Cuddle?"
"Yeah, of course we can cuddle."
Akito helped Toya off of the bed so he could tuck him in, before Kohane came back over with his pacifier.
"Toya-kun, do you want your paci?" she asked with a soft smile.
Toya nodded, the blonde girl helping to attach the pacifier's clip to his onesie, before his eyes widened with an idea, turning to Akito.
"Hane Nana cuddle?"
"Huh?" Akito stalled at his request. The four of them had cuddled together before, usually when Toya was small, but his sudden idea still caught him off-guard nonetheless.
"Oh, one of our little sleepovers?" Kohane asked. "Isn't it a bit late for that though?"
"I mean, we could probably start practice a bit later tomorrow, to make up for us being up for a while," Akito noted.
As he spoke, An entered the room, a sippy cup in her hand.
"Where have you been?" Akito asked with a playful annoyance in his voice.
"I was getting the baby some warm chocolate milk cuz I know he likes it, Akito!" An responded with a similar sarcastic tone.
"Choco?" Toya babbled around his pacifier.
"Yeah, choco for my favorite little guy!" An smiled wide as she handed him the sippy cup, his gratitude shining through when he immediately took the paci out of his mouth and began to drink.
"Slow down, bud~" Akito lightly said in response before speaking to An again. "Anyways, Tou said he wanted to cuddle with all of us, so I assume we're having another sleepover."
"Ah, alright! Anything for Toya!" An nodded excitedly. "We haven't done this in ages, good call Tou-Tou!"
Toya didn't notice her complement, still enveloped in the bliss of his drink.
Within the next few minutes, the four members of Vivid BAD SQUAD would all be on the pull-out couch together, covered in cozy blankets and nuzzled up close to one another. Toya would have his bunny in his arms and his paci in his mouth, and would be surrounded by the warmth of three people who cared about him more than almost anyone else.
An hour ago, he would have believed something like this would never happen again, but if anything, all it did was affirm to him that he was safe, he was supported, he was loved, and, more than anything, that no matter what happened, the other three would be there to help him feel all better.