Work Text:
>Be the crybaby green hero doing a repeat of the previous heist trying to find a good surprise
Usually these days, the author is panicking over deadlines.
Not this time.
This time full crack is enforced, or so it seems, starting with just simple suggestions.
“So All Might’s birthday is closing near,” Izuku Midoriya messaged Melissa. “And I have no idea what to give him! Everyone is gonna do wondrous gifts while I, his mentee, can’t even figure it out!”
“That seems like a dilemma!” Melissa messaged back. “Maybe a craft? Or a shirt he can wear?”
“I don’t think I have the mental capacity to do that, Melissa.”
“Why not try making some sort of…memorabilia?”
Izuku’s head swam with a very horrible but wonderful idea. He remained in such a state that his eyes rolled at the back of his skull, and lack of responses from him lead to Melissa getting worried more than the I-Island incident.
“Midoriya?”
“I have an awesome idea!”
>Be the beefy hero in the UA faculty
“What do you want…to make me do again?” All Might asked, crossing his arms and bearing a confused face right at Nedzu.
“It is integral that the USJ is inspected and combed over again, just in case of a plausible… scenario …of a villain planting traps within the compound.” Nedzu’s eyes glinted with the same spark All Might saw when he first put the Number One Pro Hero into the role of a teacher, which, by the way, made him shiver down his spine.
“And due to your tardiness last time you were even there, disaster struck and left with some complications some pros here are still embarrassed about,” Nedzu continued. “So, do you take the offer as the Symbol of Peace?”
“Even if on this day I decided to skip my appearance at the HPSC’s All Might Appreciation Program, I am absolutely ready when we’re off, Principal Nedzu!”
As All Might left the office, Nedzu glared at the rest of the oddly silent group. Aizawa hid behind his scarf, not wanting anything to do with this whole bullshit, and Present Mic too (thus pissing off Aizawa). Ectoplasm and Hound Dog exchanged looks of “we wanna sigh at this but the rat god will kill us”, and Snipe is hidden behind a random potted plant, somehow unseen. On the other hand, Midnight and Vlad King cough in unison, producing the first key to Megalovania.
“Lovely that you committed to the script, although you should have at least talked to ease All Might’s worries out,” Nedzu spoke to the pros.
“No thank you!” Snipe called out from said plant.
>Be Midoriya, some time ago…
“How much can you do with your quirk?”
That is the first thing Cementoss saw when he woke up in the morning. He shrieked unexpectedly, leading his sleep paralysis demon Midoriya to also shriek and jump from his bed.
“Why are you here?” Cementoss yawned, annoyed by the presence of Midoriya. “And how did you even discover my address?”
“That’s the thing, sir!” Midoriya smiled. “I not only managed to know your IP address, I also lived in your walls for the last 3 days . And for a Concrete Hero, no offense but I need you h— oh my I’m so sorry am I ranting too much ?!”
Midoriya stared at a stunned Cementoss. He picked up his phone and messaged Melissa. “I think we broke him, Melissa.”
“ Don’t worry! Ask him the other day!”
“Thanks. So…uhh…
“Are you sure they will comply?”
“I make it sure that our plans will never go to waste! In fact, I’ve just added Hatsume Mei as a friend and had been using her as a messager.”
“That is odd as hell but I’ll take it.”
Izuku Midoriya tapped a wall for it to cave in, leading to outside. “Huh.”
>Be the useless 1B student cool and badass copycat hero Phantom Thief
Usually, Neito Monoma never takes any request from a lowly being like a 1A student, even if a 1A student’s mentor happened to be All Might. No, never, never will he.
Except for this time.
When Pony relayed him a message detailing an unknown address talking about whether or not Neito took this challenge, he didn’t take it…he grabbed it.
This was an opportunity to show off how much is all of 1B better than 1A, especially as they are the first step of this massive scheme!
He will make sure that All Might will be able to see how incredible and glorious the class of 1B is!
And how will the Phantom Thief, his right hand lady Rocketti, and the hero team of 1B handle their part of this quest?
By being faux-villains and distracting All Might in the USJ!
“What in the name of America…” All Might was clearly surprised by the scenario he found himself in, Shiozaki placing him in a vine cage and Komori using her mushrooms as mush-cushions. Bondo had created bars out of glue, while Monoma looked at All Might with wonder and pride, Shinshida carrying him bridal-style.
“Greetings and unfortunate mornings, All Might,” Monoma started the monologue he had memorized on his way here. “You may wonder why you are surrounded and trapped within this glorious class of 1B. ‘Have you become villains?’, ‘Were you bribed?’, and ‘Why is Young Kuroiro anticipating doing something suspicious?’ are some questions you may have asked yourself.” He posed in a dramatic, interrogating pose.
“But in reality, you don’t have to answer your questions! We are here to let one Izuku Midoriya have more time doing his schemes, and at the same time we will give you a piece of clue to glue things together on what…he has planned.”
“Then, what is this ‘clue’?” All Might asked, his voice clearly showing some….interest.
“A riddle a day keeps the Riddler away,” Monoma started. “What is dark will turn to light, what flows slow will get hard so fast. What material am I talking about?”
All Might thought for a moment, ignoring the fact that some 1B students are making something flexible for him. Monoma’s riddle had indeed made the Number One Pro Hero scratch his head, meaning it was a smart riddle! Finally, All Might yelled “Concrete!”
“Very good,” Monoma decreed. The plan is now in place. “Now SEND HIM TO THE SLINGSHOT!”
“I-WHA—”
Immediately, Shiozaki turned the vine cage into a vine carriage, and sent it hurling into the makeshift slingshot. And at this unexpected but delightful moment, All Might was baffled by this series of events.
Of course, he wasn’t meant to be able to piece this together just quickly.
“What’s going on now?!”
Monoma walked over and grinned. “I hope you can prepare for an Explosive Pomeranian.”
All Might seemed to be aware of what the great Phantom Thief meant, and then he had to be distracted by the mechanism keeping the slingshot together. “Is tha—”
And All Might yelled with Goofy’s voice as he was yeeted into…
Somewhere.
“We’re done folks. To the arcades!”
>Be the smartest bitch alive
“Oh, what an interesting way to name me,” Nedzu spoke to what seems to be nothing, leading Midoriya to be stunned.
He turned his attention to Midoriya and a glimmer shone in his eyes. “Now, as long as you are serious about cleaning up all of UA as a training exercise in exchange for me letting you get away with blackmailing the list of pro heroes you gave me, and one who is part of UA, I will let you commit your schemes…and even assist with it.”
“How?”
“It only takes a little bit convincing…”
>Be the bored and annoyed as hell Explosive Pomeranian pro hero-in-training 1A student
“Stupid Deku and his stupid plans…” Bakugo muttered while his face was on a desk. Some 1A students are playing cards nearby, somehow playing the wrong sets of cards and card types.
“Pikachu, I choose you!” Kaminari yelled.
“The Ace of Spades will be the key to your demise,” said Tokoyami.
“Uno!” Mina declared in glee.
“Unfortunately, you are all supposed to go to jail,” Kirishima decreed.
Bakugo groaned and said, “If only we aren’t here to try and distract All Might, then I will leave at whatever…”
“Come on, Bakugo!” Uraraka spoke towards the explosive blonde boy, sitting beside him. “You know, this might work out in our favor!”
“Fuck no, it won’t!” Bakugo got up. “Last time Deku pulled this bullcrap, I got little to no role in it as well!”
Suddenly, a ball of spiked vines, mushrooms and glue landed a hard hit on the roof where they are staying under. How did Bakugo know it was composed of those materials? It sounds like those materials, and they have to work together with 1B in exchange for passes, dammit!
As all of the students got outside, All Might…
Fucking busted from the spherical cage, in the pose of some Italian Plumber, and shouted “I AM HERE!”
“Alright, bitches!” Bakugo called out to everyone. “Tape Arms, Raccoon Eyes, Ponytail girl, Floater bitch, make the makeshift sliding road! Snow White, ready the birds! Big Lips, is the cake ready? (Yes!) And Pikachu, ready the lights. Now alright! Froggy, Birdhead, Engine Legs, Octopus Arms, Tailboy, and I are gonna be the guards.”
“What about me?” Balls boy raised his hand.
“Yeet him into the trash, Invisible Girl ,” Bakugo stated, leaving Mineta screaming for his hellish life as he was dumped .
“What…is this for?” All Might asked as he was escorted in some sort of…sleigh?
“Happy Birthday’, Deku said,” Bakugo answered, crossing his arms as everyone literally slid across the street. “We were all roped within this, but according to him, ‘this is better than that HPSC program because blah blah blah—”
And because a sleep-deprived teen wrote this, let's just say that Inko Midoriya was left with a lotta mess and an explanation from her landlord.
>Be Izuku Midoriya
Izuku tapped his foot rapidly in delightful anxiety, matching the rhythm to a song that goes “ta ta ta ta taa taa taa”. He looked at the ominously covered figure dwarfing him and most people on Daogaba Beach. Snipe is cooking at a grill powered by a pit that goes up and down, and there are people ready to sing and greet who is gonna come.
Including Detective Tsukauchi, who is questioning life now…
Until All Might came in a sleigh, Hagakure seemed the one to change his clothes to be fancy.
“Now, sing!” Jirou screamed as she and other random players played a cheerful but rock rendition of “Happy Birthday”. Aoyama screams in harmony as he was used as a discount disco ball.
“Is this…your surprise?” All Might looked at the fancy venue . “But what is that covered statue?”
Melissa appeared out of nowhere in a speedboat and pulled the statue, revealing it to All Might as…
The largest statue of All Might in all of HISTORY, fully concrete and poses All Might in his iconic pose.
“Turns out Cementoss can sculpt and…uhh…happy birthday All Might-sensei?”
“This is wonderful!” All Might exclaimed. “And that ged American Bacon…but wait, who provided the fire?”
“Who else?”
“Let’s just say…” Melissa showed a picture of Endeavor doing push-ups so much it was a livestream. “I had slandered him to make him do more push-ups than you did.”